Chapter Text
“This was a mistake.”
The words rung in Elain’s ears as she sat still in her bed, a pale light flitting in through the window and dancing on the floor as the leaves outside swayed in the trees. She’d switched into her nightgown and turned off the lights as soon as she’d gotten back to her room, hoping the darkness would swallow her whole. She was embarrassed, so so so embarrassed. She sat there for a long time, maybe even hours, waiting for a knock on the door that never came. Her tears fell silently as she got up and went to the window, peering out at the stars and the full moon. Her slender hand took to open the sturdy window which had somehow bound itself in place. She gave it one little push, and it sprung open as she let out a huff, looking at her hands and slowly clenching them together at the truth of her fae strength.
The cold air swept into the room easing some of the heaviness she had not realised took up the entire room. She grazed her fingers over the pale purple flower in front of her, for the first time marvelling over how it was still alive in the dead of winter. The flower that stuck around even when no one else did. She smiled softly at the thought. He stuck around too. She cringed at the thought in her head, answering back it doesn’t matter. She waited for a response, but there was nothing but the sound of the cold wind outside, howling on its journey. It was freezing, she realised as her body shivered, and her eyes left the moon and caught the thick snow covering the grounds - and her garden. Oh, how she longed for spring, though if she even longed for anything anymore, she was not sure. Not after tonight. She thought Azriel understood her, but in the end, he was just like any other man (or male), falling for her beauty, but not willing to sacrifice anything for her. She had been able to smell the desire on him, but it had not felt as good as she had imagined. His eyes had held more lust than love for her then and she bit her lip at the fact he was simpler than she’d thought. Or hoped. How could she face him tomorrow? How could she face anyone?
At some point Elain closed the window and crept into bed, sleep finding her immediately after the emotional drain she’d been through.