Work Text:
The sound of the bus engine is lulling Saint to sleep. The voices of his classmates have become background noise, adding to his drowsiness. In the seat next to him, Shin has already given in to the call of slumber and is resting his head on his shoulder. Saint figures that it wouldn’t hurt if he leaned his cheek on top of Shin’s head and closed his eyes for a little while.
A minute or an hour or maybe a day later, Saint snaps his eyes open to a phone pointed at his face.
“What are you doing?” he mumbles.
“It’s for the yearbook,” explains Nate, still shamelessly taking pictures.
Saint frowns. “What?”
“You looked too cute,” adds Knot with an exaggerated dreamy expression.
Saint grunts as Shin stirs beside him. “Look, you woke him up.”
“Well, we’ve arrived. You better get off the bus if you don’t want to be left behind,” Ken advises.
Saint finally notices that the bus has stopped and his classmates are leaving one by one. He rubs his eyes. “Fuck, I could have used a longer nap.”
“Hey, sleeping beauty.” Tew emerges behind them and touches the back of Shin’s head. “Are you coming?”
Shin curls his fingers around Saint’s bicep, eyes still closed and a slight pout on his lips. “I’m tired.”
Saint snorts. “Come on, Shin.”
“Why didn’t you let me sleep yesterday?”
“Why didn’t you let him sleep yesterday?” echoes Eve, passing by their seats in this very moment.
Nate and Knot whistle. Why are they still on the bus?
Saint rolls his eyes. “You wanted to play FIFA until the crack of dawn, you brought this upon yourself.”
Shin mumbles something hard to decipher.
“Should we carry him off the bus?” asks First, cracking his knuckles.
“No need, I’m on it.” Saint smacks Shin’s forehead strongly enough to be heard by all the people still on the bus.
“What was that?” asks Peeta on the other end of the bus.
“What the fuck, Saint!” Shin protests, suddenly alert. He punches him hard on the arm as retaliation.
Nate, Knot and Ken crack up before leaving the bus.
“Hurry up, guys, we need to check in,” Tew warns them before disappearing with First.
Saint nudges his friend. “Shin, we’re the last two people left, and I need to take a piss.”
Shin yawns. “Why don’t you just go?”
Saint exhales. “Are you seriously going to stay here?”
Shin cracks his neck as he looks at Saint with an unreadable expression.
“Hey, you two!” The shout jolts them both. Mr Sung emerges from the entrance of the bus, startling the driver, who was about to step down the stairs, none the wiser about the presence of two lazy students at the back of his bus. “What are you still doing here?”
Saint manages to drag a cranky Shin out of the bus and into the hotel lobby.
“I hate it here,” it’s Shin’s verdict as soon as he sees his classmates and teachers gathered there for their final-year school trip to Hua Hin.
Saint guffaws. “Come on, grumpy, you’re just sad that this marks the end of your high school era, you don’t actually hate this.”
Shin looks at him from the corner of his eye and sighs. “Bullshit.”
First jogs towards them, waving a key card. “They gave us double rooms, what a luxury!”
Tew appears beside him, throwing an arm around his shoulder. “Go get your card, I’m sure you’ll be roomies.”
Shin tsks. “All I need right now is to get roomed with Nate or Knot or Ken to make this even better.”
Saint pinches him. “What about a positive attitude, Shin?”
Shin grabs his suitcase. “What about it?”
*
Saint sits on their double bed – so much for luxury – to check their schedule. “First activity of the day is…beach?”
Shin is lying down with his eyes closed and his arms crossed above his chest. “Surprising in Hua Hin.”
Saint rolls his eyes. “Tomorrow we’re going to the water park, cheer.”
Shin makes a V sign. “Yay.”
Saint grabs his calf and squeezes. “What would you rather do?”
Shin cracks one eye open. “Sleep?”
“You can sleep tonight. Come on, get up.”
Shin kicks him. “What’s got into you? You usually hate people and...fun.”
Saint clutches his chest. “Me? Hating fun? You got me confused with someone else.”
Shin laughs and sits up. He rests his chin on Saint’s shoulder. “I hate being forced to have fun.”
Saint shrugs. “If you take out the stick up your ass, you may actually have fun.”
Shin snorts and pinches his side. “What does the schedule say? What are we doing on the beach?”
“It just says beach.”
“Wonderful.”
Saint lifts a hand to stroke Shin’s hair. “Did you pack up sunscreen?”
“You packed our bags.”
Saint drops his hand. “Of course, you were too busy complaining about this trip.”
Shin sighs and lets himself fall back on the mattress. “My complexion is way too delicate to be exposed to the sun.”
“I don’t care, wear a shirt or a fucking cloak, but get your ass off this bed.”
Shin grunts.
*
“I was about to lose hope on you two joining us,” comments Tew as soon as they step on the beach.
Saint points his thumb towards Shin behind him. “I had to drag his ass downstairs, and let me tell you, it wasn’t easy.”
“Why is he grumpier than usual?” asks First.
Saint sighs. “He hates the sun.” He pauses. “And the sand.” Another pause. “And the sea. And probably all of you, guys.”
Shin fixes his sunglasses on his nose. “Correct.”
First smirks. “As long as he doesn’t hate you again, we shouldn’t worry too much.”
Saint forces a laugh out.
Tew frowns. “Are you okay with him hating us, you mean?”
First shrugs. “He doesn’t really hate us.”
They all turn to Shin for confirmation or denial. But he has his gaze fixed on the horizon and doesn’t grace them with a reply.
“Whatever,” mumbles First. “Do you want to take a dip?”
“Shall we race?” proposes Tew.
“I’m not going to race against you, guys,” Saint declares. “You go ahead.”
Shin’s shirt is riding up his back. Saint approaches him to push the shirt down. After all the effort he put into applying sunscreen all over his back, he doesn’t want Shin to get sunburnt in the most stupid way. “Look, they’re playing football.”
Shin follows his gaze and finally, finally smiles. “Shall we join them?”
“You play, I will cheer you on from the sidelines.”
Saint ends up sitting on a beach chair with the girls. Shin is playing with some of their classmates and a few other students from different classes, Mr Sung as a referee.
He jumps up when Shin scores and does a few laps around the chairs to celebrate.
“Chill, Saint, it’s not the World Cup,” teases Eve. “You don’t have to cheer him on so…enthusiastically.”
Saint sits back down, breathless. “I’m just being a supportive best friend.”
Eve lowers her sunglasses to look him in the eye. “Do you know what it looks like?”
Saint brushes the sand off his legs. “What are you talking about?”
“It looks like you’re trying to impress him.”
Peeta chuckles.
Saint’s skin flares. “Why would I need to impress him?”
“Do you know how birds court each other, right?” asks Peeta, a smirk on her lips.
Eve chokes on her spit.
Saint shakes his head. “I’m not trying to impress him. He is already smitten with me.”
Peeta and Eve look at each other.
“So…you’re admitting it?”
Saint scratches the back of his head. “Admitting what?”
Eve leans closer. “That Shin is in love with you?”
Saint’s heart skips a beat. “That’s not what I meant.”
Peeta nudges him with her foot. “Smitten has a very specific meaning.”
“I meant…” Saint stutters a little. “I meant that he has already forgiven me, so I don’t need to strive to win him over anymore, he is already committed to be my best friend forever.”
Eve rolls her eyes. “All I hear is a bunch of nonsense.”
Saint’s eyes widen. “Why?”
“Look, your bff is coming over,” observes Peeta.
Shin is indeed approaching them, covered in sweat and sand, his skin flushed, looking...moderately happy, at least.
He reaches out. “Let’s bathe.”
“Bathe?” echoes Saint.
Shin grabs him by the shoulder. “Come on, I’m hot.”
Saint lets his friend drag him to his feet. “Are you keeping that on?”
Shin looks down at his shirt.
Saint raises an eyebrow. “On a second thought, it’s better if you keep it on to avoid sunb-”
With a smooth movement, Shin takes off his shirt and throws it on Saint’s face. “It’s fine, the sunscreen is water-resistant.”
Saint grabs Shin’s sweaty t-shirt and places it on his chair.
“Aren’t you cute?” says Eve.
Saint points at himself. “Me?”
“Not you, idiot. You two.”
Saint rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you go and bother your girlfriend instead of pestering me?”
Eve shrugs. “Airy and I are spending some quality time away from each other and with our respective friends. A concept you and Shin are not familiar with.”
Shin clears his throat.
“Eve, why do you hate me?” Saint whines.
Eve smiles. “Saint, this is my love language.”
Saint flips her off. “And this is mine.”
The water is cool enough to soothe Saint’s heated skin but not so cold that it makes him shiver. When they are waist-deep, Shin stops to splash him. Saint responds in kind, and soon they are caught up in a water fight.
Saint places a hand on Shin’s shoulder and one on top of his head, attempting to push him down. Shin holds his ground.
“Wait, you’re covered in sand. Let me clean you up.” Saint runs his fingers through Shin’s hair, feeling the gritty grains stuck in it.
Shin glares. “It’s just an excuse to push me underwater, I’m not falling for it.”
Saint laughs. “I’m serious! How did you manage to get so much sand in your hair?”
“It must have been when I hit the ball with my head.”
Saint squeezes his shoulder. “Come on, kneel down, I’ll wash your hair.”
Shin gazes at him suspiciously but eventually gives in with a resigned sigh. Saint smiles and cups his hands to gather some water to pour on Shin’s head. It looks like he is blessing him. “Go underwater, this is not working.” Shin looks up. “I’m not going to drown you, I swear.”
When Shin breaks the surface with his hair properly soaked and his eyelashes glued together, skin glistening from the water, eyes red and glazed, Saint draws in a breath.
“What’s with the stare?” Shin asks.
Saint shakes his head. “Nothing, let me check if you still have sand in your hair.” He kneels until he is at eye-level with his friend and threads his fingers through Shin’s strands. “Much better now.”
Shin looks into his eyes. “Don’t worry too much about it, I will deal with it under the shower later.”
Saint tilts his head. “Let me know if you need help.”
Shin splashes water on his face.
Saint splutters. Shin laughs and dives deep into the water. Saint sees him emerging a few meters ahead and swims towards him.
They float face-to-face.
“Did you have fun playing football?”
Shin nods.
“It wasn’t forced fun, was it?”
Shin smiles with his eyes.
Saint digs his fingers into Shin’s hair to push his fringe back. “Let’s go back. The sun is strong and I wouldn’t want you to get burned.”
Shin rolls his eyes. “Okay, Mum.”
Saint points a finger at him. “You’re joking about it, but your Mum told me to keep an eye on you.”
Shin snorts. “She should know I am the sensible one between us, why would she trust you more than her own son?”
Saint watches the droplets of water travelling down Shin’s chest. “She trusts me because she knows how much I care about you.”
Shin’s eyes flicker. He licks his lips, tastes the salt and grimaces. Before he can say anything, his stomach grumbles. “Was dinner included in the schedule?”
Saint laughs softly. “I read barbecue written on it.”
Shin looks annoyed. “It will take ages for the food to be ready. Let’s go grab an ice cream in the meantime.”
*
They shower and get ready to head to the barbecue. When they are about to leave, Saint notices a red patch on Shin’s skin, peeking out from under his shirt, just below his neck.
“You got burnt!”
“What? Where?”
Saint points at his own nape. “On your back. It’s red.”
Shin touches his shoulder. “It’s nothing.”
Saint advances on him and presses his thumb on the patch of skin he noted earlier. “Here.”
Shin hisses.
“See? It’s not nothing. Let me put some lotion on it.”
“Saint, I’m hungry, I don’t ca-”
Saint grabs the hem of his shirt. “I’ll be quick.”
“Did you actually pack after sun lotion?”
“Your mum gave coconut oil to me.”
Shin makes a disgruntled noise. “Does she realise I’m eighteen and I don’t need a babysitter?”
Saint lifts the shirt and forces it off Shin. His front looks mostly fine, but when he makes Shin turn, he sees that his back is covered in red stripes. He got sunburnt unevenly and looks even more ridiculous than he had anticipated. “Come on, Shin, it’s your first trip alone, it’s normal for her to feel apprehensive.”
“Alone with fifty people and teachers,” mutters Shin. “If I knew you would gang up with my Mum against me I…”
“You what?” Saint presses his fingertips on Shin’s sensitive skin with a little viciousness. “You wouldn’t have forgiven me?”
Shin groans. “Shut up.”
Saint laughs at last, his breath hitting Shin’s back. He fetches the lotion from his bag and squeezes some on his hand. “Ready?”
“Do I have a choice?”
Saint places his hand on Shin’s back, making him shiver. “Feeling good?”
“I can barely feel anything. Are you going to move your hand or what…?”
Saint furrows his brow. “I didn’t sign up to be your personal masseuse.”
Shin moves his shoulder blades to prompt Saint to do something.
Saint starts spreading the lotion on the expanse of Shin’s back, slowly, gently, not to hurt him. “This smells good.”
“I’m going to smell like coconut all night long.”
Saint smirks. “I might want to take a bite out of you.”
Shin chuckles. “Saint, what did I tell you about cannibalism as a love language?”
Saint lets out a low laugh. “Got it.” His hands move down Shin’s shoulders to his arms and then up again, squeezing his nape. Shin groans, in pain or pleasure, Saint doesn’t know. “I’m not that bad at giving massages, am I?”
Shin doesn’t reply.
“Have you fallen asleep?”
“Mh?”
“Shin, are you sleeping on your feet?”
Shin touches the back of his head. His palm turns wet and lucid from the lotion. “I’m just relaxed.”
Saint shakes his head and presses his fist between Shin’s shoulder blades. “Come on, put your shirt back on.”
Shin turns to face him. “You act like you weren’t the one who undressed me.”
“Do you want me to dress you as well?”
Shin frowns and grabs his shirt from the bed. “I feel all…slippery.”
“It will absorb quick enough.”
Shin turns his head to sniff his arm. “It does smell very nice.”
Saint clicks his tongue. “Careful, or someone will eat you.”
*
They sit on the beach chairs facing the swimming pool. The teachers are taking care of the barbecue as the students hang around, their stomachs grumbling because of the smell of grilled meat filling the air.
First scrunches his nose. “Where is this smell of Piña Colada coming from?”
Shin throws a poignant look at Saint, who snickers.
“Why did you have to mention Piña Colada?” Nate complains. “Now I feel the lack of alcohol even more.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t sneak some at this…party,” comments Airy.
“Who said I didn’t?”
Knot elbows his brother.
“Ok, I didn’t, we’re being watched tonight.”
Peeta shrugs and sips her juice. “We don’t need alcohol, come on.”
“We don’t?!” shouts First.
Peeta rolls her eyes. “This trip is all about relaxing and having fun.”
“Do you know how I relax and have fun?” asks Nate, pointing a finger at her. “Exactly.”
Peeta glares at him.
Nate crosses his arms in front of his chest. “You’re not invited tomorrow.”
“Invited where?” jumps in Eve.
Knot elbows his brother again. “Nowhere, don’t worry.”
Shin is trying to unstick his shirt from his shoulders, the fabric still damp. Saint nudges him. “Piña Colada, mh?”
“Fuck off.”
“Here, guys, some meat for you.”
They all look up, drooling as Miss Jan presents them a plate full of grilled meat.
“Don’t be shy,” encourages them the teacher.
They all pounce on her like they’ve been starving.
“Oh, Miss Jan, you look so nice tonight,” coos Tangmay.
The teacher flutters her lashes. “You don’t have to flatter me, there’s enough food for everybody.”
Once they have filled their stomach, they settle for a game of charades.
Saint feels a weight on his shoulder: Shin has dropped his head on it. “Tired?” he asks him, touching his knee.
“Can we go to bed?”
Saint laughs softly. “Can I finish this round?”
“When did you become so sociable?” Shin nuzzles against his neck. “Fine,” he agrees begrudgingly.
The smell of coconut emanating from his skin is still strong after many hours. Saint inhales and pats his head. “Thank you.”
“Why don’t you give him your room’s key card if he wants to go to bed already?” asks Eve.
Saint shakes his head. He feels uneasy thinking about letting him go to bed alone. “Who is going to open the door for me if he is dead to the world?”
Eve shrugs. Saint can feel Shin smiling against his shoulder.
*
Saint is actually relieved to be back in their hotel room: the early morning, a full day on the beach and a heavy dinner made him exhausted.
Shin collapses face-first on the bed.
“Hey, scoot over or there won’t be room for me.”
Shin grunts.
Saint grabs both of his legs to move him to the side. “Are you going to change into your pyjamas or…?”
Shin’s answer is muffled by the pillow.
“Do you know we have an early morning tomorrow again to go to the water park?”
Shin lifts his head, his hair springing into different directions. “Can we sleep in and go to the beach instead?”
Saint frowns. “No, I don’t think so.” He sits on the bed. “Why are you so tired lately?”
Shin turns on his back and covers his face with his arm. “I feel like I’m exhausted by football practice and school and studying for entry exams for uni and taking care of my sister and…I don’t know? Don’t you feel tired because of work, school and exams?”
Saint tilts his head to the side. “I think I’m pretty used to handling many things at once. Besides,” he smirks. “I sleep in class, most of the time.”
Shin looks at him from under his arm. “Bastard.”
Saint laughs.
Shin massages his eyes. “I was hoping this trip would be my chance to rest a little.”
“These are our last days together.”
Shin pulls himself up. “Our last days together?”
Saint fights the urge to laugh at Shin’s outraged expression. “I mean, as Class 2.”
The other boy relaxes. “I didn’t know you cared this much.”
“I didn’t know you cared this little.”
Shin shoots him a glance. “I do care. They’re my friends too.”
“So, don’t you want to spend some time with them?”
Shin smoothes the creases on the bed sheets with his palm. “I…”
Saint covers his hand with his own. “I can fake an illness tomorrow to skip the trip to the water park, and you can tell the teachers you want to stay back and take care of me.”
Shin stares at his face. “Thank you.”
Saint nods.
“But…I’d rather go.”
Saint squeezes his hand and lets go. “Good. We’ll have fun. We can fake a stomach ache to stay in tomorrow night, maybe?”
Shin laughs. “We’ll see.”
They get changed and go to bed. The light coming from the window and past the curtains fills the room with hues of blue. With the only sounds being the low buzz of the air-con and the distant murmur of the waves crashing on the shore, it feels like being underwater.
Shin breaks the silence with a soft whisper. “I care about my friends, Saint. But as long as you don’t go anywhere, I…can cope with their…loss.”
Saint touches his hand with his pinkie finger. “I get it.”
*
Saint is about to drift off to sleep when a new noise seeping through the thin walls of their hotel room makes him suddenly alert. It sounds like muffled laughter at first, and Saint feels his annoyance creeping in. Whoever is sleeping in the adjacent room will wake Shin up if they keep going. But then…the laughter seem to turn into groans and…whimpers and…moans? At last, it comes the unmistakable rhythm of a squeaky bedframe.
Awake and vigilant, Saint can now hear everything: unintelligible whispers, gasps, the slap of skin on skin, moans, groans, curses. Oh god, when did he develop super hearing?
He turns to Shin to ask him if he can hear it too or if he has gone completely insane, but Shin seems to be out cold.
Saint covers his face with the sheet. He tries to focus on the voice of the sea, but fuck, the sex noises are way louder. He doesn’t remember who the hell is sleeping in that room. He will have a word with them tomorrow…Or not.
His ears are burning, his chest heaving. He can’t…unhear it or zone it out or anything. And the more he hears, the more his pulse quickens.
Not knowing who is making these sounds and unable to match the noises with faces, he becomes acutely aware of the body only an arm’s length away from him. Warm and solid, smelling of coconut and body wash, breathing softly. If he focused on Shin’s breathing, maybe he would be able to tune out the other noises. But…no, he can’t stop listening. But now the sound of Shin’s breathing is tangled with the sounds of sex beyond the wall, and he can’t separate them anymore.
A sigh escapes his mouth, and he bites his lip. Sweat is pooling under his armpits and heat coiling around his stomach. He shoots a glance at Shin, sleeping peacefully on his side, and the heat spreads lower, heavier.
What the fuck. He is turned on and so, so ashamed. Two of his friends are having loud, freaky sex in the room beside his – albeit he doesn’t know who they are – and his best friend is quietly and innocently sleeping next to him, while he has a fucking boner and is dying to touch himself. He would if Shin…
Fucking hell, stop thinking about Shin.
Saint turns on his side and wills his body to calm down. It doesn’t work, because those two freaks are still going at it, and their bed is hitting the fucking wall now, and Shin is stirring in his sleep. What if he wakes up to find Saint painfully turned on by the noise of people having sex? Is he a voyeur now? What’s the word when you can hear them but not see them?
Anyway, it’s not his fucking fault if those two are exhibitionists!
He has heard stories of people kept awake by roommates or flatmates or even neighbours having sex. But no one has ever mentioned that the noises can be a fucking turn-on?
Maybe he is aroused because he doesn’t know who they are. If he did, he would be weirded out and not turned on, right?
When Shin’s toes brush against his calf, Saint springs to his feet. With his heart hammering in his chest, he turns to look at Shin, terrified of finding him awake and aware. But Shin seems to be still sleeping, an arm stretched out over Saint’s side now that he has left it empty.
He rushes to the bathroom and shuts the door as gently as he can. He won’t touch himself. Not to two of his friends having steamy, gay sex. Not with Shin sleeping beyond this door.
His hand darts to his erection as soon as the image of Shin lying on their bed, sweaty and hot, assaults his mind.
Saint wants to punch his dick.
Instead, he squeezes it as he walks awkwardly to the shower to turn on the cold water. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This will do.
*
Saint doesn’t mention the incident to Shin the morning after. Why would he? To embarrass himself?
However, the situation takes a turn for the worse as soon as they leave their room.
First, the door of the room next to theirs opens to reveal Tew and First. Saint blushes to the roots of his hair when he realises it was them the night before. When the two intercept his eyes with a guilty – if not terrified – expression, he turns even redder.
Tew shakes his head to plead with him not to say a word. Saint can only nod and look at the floor, Shin none the wiser next to him.
But then, the room on the other side opens, and Nate and Knot come out.
Knot places a hand on Saint’s shoulder and smirks. “Did you have fun yesterday?”
Saint’s head snaps up. “What?”
Does he know? That he had a boner because of Tew and First having sex? Does he think he actually got off to it?
Nate snickers. “Come on, don’t be shy. You weren’t so shy last night.”
Saint’s lips tremble. “What are you talking about?”
Knot comes closer to whisper. “We heard you and Shin having sex.”
Except it’s not really a whisper.
“What?” shout Saint and First at once.
This is worse than Saint had anticipated.
Shin’s eyes alternate between Nate and Knot and Saint and First. Tew is trying to hide behind Saint’s tall frame and disappear into the wall.
“Shin and I didn’t have sex!”
A few people who have just emerged from their rooms stop short in their tracks to look at them.
Fuck.
Saint grabs Shin’s elbow. “Shin, tell them we didn’t have sex last night.”
Shin shrugs. “I would remember if we did.”
Ken appears behind his friends.
“Did I hear that right? Did Shin and Saint finally have sex?”
“What do you mean finally?” Saint shrieks.
Nate whistles. “ And they were loud. Didn’t you hear them?”
Ken shakes his head, looking almost displeased, the freak.
“For the last time, we didn’t have sex!” Saint panics. “Shin, why aren’t you defending yourself?”
Shin crosses his arms and leans on the wall behind him. “Defending myself from which accuse exactly?”
Saint whimpers.
“Right, having sex is not a crime,” observes Ken.
Knot scratches his head. “However, having loud sex and keeping everybody awake might be.”
Saint lifts a finger. “Yes!”
Nate squeezes his shoulder. “So, why were you so loud?”
Saint groans. “It wasn’t us, it was – argh.” Someone pinches his side.
It’s Tew, still hiding behind him. “Saint…”
Saint realises two things at once: one, he doesn’t have the heart to out his friends; two, to keep their secret, he is basically screwed.
“It wasn’t us…” he mumbles as he massages his back where Tew’s fingers have elicited a sharp pain.
“You’re touching your ass, does it still hurt from yesterday?” teases Nate.
“What the…?” Saint’s eyes widen. “Why would you assume I bottomed?”
Shin snorts. Why is he not fighting against the allegations?
Nate snaps his fingers. “I just figured.”
Saint dries the sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand.
Nate averts his gaze. “Alright, let’s go have breakfast. I need a break from this very entertaining topic.”
Saint stops him. “Can you…? Can you not spread this rumour?”
Knot chuckles. “I don’t think we were the only ones who could hear you last night. But we’ll do our best to keep it to ourselves.”
“Why would everybody think it was Shin and me unless you told them?”
“Who else could it be? Come on.”
What.
“But maybe keep it down tonight.”
Saint looks at their backs as they leave to grab some breakfast. From the corner of his eye, he sees Tew and First trying to sneak away.
He curls his fingers around Tew’s arm. “Not so fast.”
Tew looks shaken and mortified. He should have thought about the consequences of his actions last night, before having unapologetic loud sex with his...what? Boyfriend? “Saint, I’m sorry, we don’t want people to know yet.”
“So, you’d rather screw me and Shin over?” Saint barks.
Tew intercepts Shin’s eyes. “Shin, I’m sorry.”
Shin shakes his head. “It’s fine.”
Saint turns to face him. “Is it?”
First steps in. “We thought only you and Shin could hear us and that you would be fine with it.”
“I could hear you, in fact,” Saint confirms. “Loud and clear. And why would we be fine with it?”
“We didn’t think that the whole floor could hear and find out…”
Saint sighs. “But since we’re covering your asses, everybody will be convinced that it was Shin and I….”
“Sorry, we should have known this would be the most obvious conclusion people would reach,” says First. “We didn’t mean to frame you, guys. It just happened.”
Saint’s ears burn. “The most obvious conclu-”
Shin laughs. Saint’s eyes shoot daggers at him. “Is this funny for you?”
Shin smirks. “It is kind of funny.”
“Shin!”
The other boy gives him a bored look. “Do you realise that the more you try to deny it, the more you look…guilty?”
Saint can’t believe his ears. “I…”
Shin exhales, looking calm as ever. “Just let them talk.”
Saint swallows. “Shin, they think you and I…”
Shin blinks. “Didn’t they before as well? Now, they got their receipts.”
When Saint’s brain feels close to exploding, a sudden stillness descends upon him. “You know what? Whatever.”
Shin laughs before turning to his friends. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with us. But tonight, please turn it down a notch.”
“So you heard them too?” shouts Saint.
Shin just shrugs.
Saint turns on his heels and storms off towards the breakfast hall. All this stress and shouting and fighting rumours have made him hangry.
*
Predictably, the entirety of Class 2 knows about them by the end of breakfast. Well, not them them, but, still…them. Soon, the rumour will spread over to the other classes and – oh god – to the teachers. So much for ‘we will keep it to ourselves.’
Saint bangs his head on the table.
Shin pats his back. “It’s not the end of the world.”
“I hate you.”
Shin chuckles. “Look how the tables have turned. Yesterday, I was tired and miserable. Today, you are!”
Saint punches him. “Why are you so amused by it, you asshole?”
Shin smirks. “Maybe because I feed on your distress. Your distress is my happiness.”
“Whatever you say, freak,” Saint mumbles. Then, it occurs to him… “Why didn’t you tell me you heard them, this morning?”
“Why didn’t you?”
Saint averts his gaze. “I thought you were asleep yesterday.”
“I was until I wasn’t.”
“So, you were pretending to be asleep in the end.” Saint looks at Shin’s fingers drumming on the table and swallows. “What else did you hear? Or feel?”
Shin stares at him until Saint is forced to look up. “I heard them fucking, and you…”
Saint blanches. “Me…?”
Shin licks his lips. “You, stressing on the bed next to me.”
Saint remembers how to breathe. “Stressing, yes.”
Shin searches his eyes. “Why? What else were you feeling?” His fingers stop drumming and inch closer to Saint’s hand on the table.
Saint hides his hand underneath it. “Nothing! I felt very stressed and annoyed. What about you?”
Shin laughs under his breath. “I felt quite…bothered by it.”
“Yes, bothered.”
Shin’s gaze is unwavering. “Maybe you should have checked if I was awake and asked me to help relieve your stress so you wouldn’t have needed to take a shower.”
Saint turns deaf for a second for how much his ears are ringing. What the fuck?
Shin winks and fetches his tray before getting up. “See you on the bus.”
“Wait…why are you running away?” Saint stutters. After you dropped that bomb?
Shin points with his chin at something behind his back. “Your girlfriends are coming this way, and I don’t need to deal with this as well.”
*
Saint can feel more than hear Eve and Peeta’s presence behind him.
“Go ahead, say your piece.”
Eve grabs his arm. “We need to leave soon, let’s walk to the bus.”
Saint sighs and gets up.
“Why didn’t you tell us you’re with Shin?” asks Eve right on cue.
“I’m not with Shin.”
“So, the two of you are just fucking…casually?”
Saint tenses. “Keep your voice down.”
Eve snorts. “Only the birds and the trees don’t know about it.”
“Or maybe they do, since apparently half of the ground floor could hear you last night,” Peeta whispers.
Saint clenches his fist. “Shin and I are not…”
The word ‘fucking’ refuses to leave his mouth. He is starting to blush…again. How many times has it happened in the last few hours?
Eve frowns. “I hate liars.”
“Good, because I’m not lying. Shin and I didn’t do…that, last night.”
Eve guffaws. “That.”
Saint feels like crying. Last night’s incident, today’s teasing and Shin’s weirdly enticing ‘proposals’ are taking a toll on him. His brain is trying to provide him with images of Shin and him having sex now, and he is desperately trying to block them.
“What else did you do, then? Wrestle? A role play?”
Saint turns to her, exasperated. “How would you know? You were on the first floor! You couldn’t hear anything.”
“Too bad.”
Saint blinks rapidly. “Would you have preferred otherwise?”
Eve crosses her arms. “Yes, just to tease you.”
Saint digs his nails into the skin of his hand. “Aren’t you doing it anyway?”
Eve’s expression softens. “Saint, I’m just hurt I had to find out this way.”
“We are,” Peeta adds.
Saint exhales. “Look, you can believe me or not, but I’m telling you that Shin and I did not have…sex yesterday. Or any other time.”
Eve stares at him to spot the truth in his lies. Or the lies in his truth. “So…what…”
“I can’t tell you right now, but, if the two of you are really my friends…you should believe me.”
“Are you that afraid of the insinuation that you and Shin might be a thing?” Peeta asks him.
“Afraid?” Saint blinks. “No, it’s simply…not true.”
“But do you want it to be true?” Peeta nudges him.
Saint falters. “Why would I…” He trails off.
Eve pats his arm. “You will figure it out.”
Saint’s mind happens to travel to Tew and First. Two best friends turned…lovers? How did they…? How would it feel to experience that? Would it work?
“Still, the entirety of the final year thinks that you and Shin had filthy sex in your room last night, entertaining the whole hotel with your moans and shouts, almost breaking the bed,” Eve informs him. “How much truth is there in this story? I don’t know, but still…”
There is too much truth in this story, Saint wants to tell her. But it doesn’t involve Shin and me.
“Wonderful,” he mutters. “Looking forward to their comments.”
*
As soon as he enters the bus, everyone looks at him and starts to whisper.
“Hope you have enough energy for the water park after last night,” someone jokes.
“I’ve heard the bed needs some repairs,” someone else teases.
“No wonder he looks so spent. He gave his all last night.”
Saint plops down next to Shin. “This is my life now.”
“Aren’t you happy we are being regarded as sex gods?”
Saint whips his head around. “Shin, what the fuck?”
Shin wears his sunglasses. “We might as well bask in our newfound fame.”
Saint hits him in the arm. “Is this why you’re happy about the rumours? Because you want a reputation?”
Shin slides his glasses down his nose to look at him properly. “What the fuck, Saint?” he echoes. “I don’t want a reputation. You have to find the good side of a bad situation to survive.”
“So, you admit it’s a bad situation?”
Shin narrows his eyes. “Is it, Saint? Is it so bad to be associated with me romantically?”
“Sexually, mostly,” Saint corrects him.
“Or sexually, whatever?”
Saint recoils from Shin’s tone. “Of course not, Shin. It’s just…not the truth.”
This sounds like an echo of the conversation he just had with Eve and Peeta.
“So, you’re more bothered by the fact that it’s not true than by the idea of you and me together?” Shin asks point-blank.
Saint’s brain short-circuits. “I’m not sure I understood the question.”
Shin tsks. “I’m going to take a nap.”
In the middle of our conversation?
“Fine!”
*
Saint couldn’t imagine the worst part of this whole ordeal was yet to come.
Upon arriving at the water park, Mr Sung and Miss Jan call them aside.
“Saint, Shin, a word, please.”
Saint casts a glance at Shin in search of some support, but Shin is sporting the same blank, bored expression as when this first started, barely a few hours ago.
“We don’t mean to scold you or embarrass you,” Miss Jan starts.
Saint prays to be swallowed by the pavement under his feet. “But?”
The teacher has a silent conversation with her colleague.
“We heard that you were quite...disrupting last night,” Mr Sung says.
Saint can spot a faint blush on Shin’s face. Gotcha!
Still, Shin is not saying a word, the bastard. Saint takes a deep breath in. “Sorry, it won’t happen again.” What else is he supposed to say? He needs to warn Tew and First that he promised they would be more discreet from now on.
“I understand it’s only natural to…be carried away,” Miss Jan adds. “Especially when you’re young and in love.”
Saint feels something stir inside him. Stomach ache? Shin’s arm brushes against his, and he realises that this is all the support he is going to get from his stupid friend.
“But, you know, I think that all of us should practice modesty and discretion when we are with other people.”
Saint nods. How long will this torture last?
Mr Sung clears his throat. “And we also hope you’re using protections.”
Saint’s ears are on fire. “It’s not like we can get pregnant, right?” he jokes.
Mr Sung and Miss Jan are not amused. “What about sexually transmitted diseases?”
“Wow,” Shin whispers through his teeth.
Saint wants to smack him and then drown himself in the nearest pool. “We’re clean. We’ve never…been with anyone else.”
He checks on his friend and wonders if this is true for Shin as it is for himself. Shin holds his gaze for a second and nods.
“Okay…” Miss Jan mumbles, unsure.
“Good,” Mr Sung says with more conviction.
They both look like they want to have this conversation as much as Saint does. As in, not at all.
Saint fans himself with his hand. “Can we go now?”
The teachers look relieved as they give them permission to leave. It suddenly occurs to Saint that he has no idea how long they will have to cover for Tew and First, letting the rumour spread not to expose the truth. Will they have to pretend at school as well? Will they have to keep this up until Tew and First decide to be out and proud? He didn’t sign up for this when he agreed to shut his mouth to protect them.
“Shin.” Saint touches his friend’s arm. “Thank you for nothing.”
Shin bursts out laughing. “You’re welcome.”
Saint groans. “I hate you, you know that?”
Shin turns to look at him, walking backwards. “Don’t say that out loud or you’ll blow our cover.”
*
The water park is quite something: huge, colourful, loud, surrounded by greenery instead of concrete. It’s like nothing they have ever seen before. Despite everything, this could be fun.
Shin exits the changing room shirtless. His shoulders are glowing pink, a stark contrast to the paleness of his arms and chest and legs.
“Shit, we forgot to put sunscreen on you this morning,” Saint tells him. Maybe he was too busy avoiding Shin in fear of spilling his secret. You know, I almost masturbated to the sounds of our friends having sex last night.
Little did he know that wasn’t going to be the worst that would happen to him during this trip.
“I’ll be fine.”
Saint frowns. “Shin, come on.” He gestures towards the changing room. “I’ll go back in to grab it.”
Shin grumbles but eventually nods, giving in to his best friend’s fixation.
However, Saint feels eyes on them, like those of vultures waiting to capture their prey. “Never mind, come with me.” He grabs Shin’s arm and, amid his protests, he drags him inside the now-empty changing room and closes the door behind them.
“I don’t want them to see me put sunscreen on you and…well, tease us.”
Shin snorts. “Do you realise this looks like you dragged me here to have your way with me? The speculation will be even worse.”
Saint stomps his feet. “Fuck it. Let them think whatever they want.”
Shin raises an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”
There’s a mischievous glint in his eyes, one that Saint hasn’t seen in quite a while. Naughty, naughty kid. Saint should brace himself for-
Shin starts banging his hand on the wall rhythmically. The changing room is basically a cabin made of wood and starts shaking under Shin’s hits.
“Sai-nt,” he moans, and it sounds…authentic.
A shiver courses through Saint’s spine. “Shin!”
Shin smirks. “Yes, say my name!” he shouts.
“Shin, what the fuck!” Saint advances on him, unsure of what to do to make him stop. “Have you lost your mind?”
Shin groans. “You made me lose it, Saint,” he says in an exaggerated, almost comical, tone, letting out another prolonged, loud moan. He then glances at the door. Beyond it, murmurs could be heard. Is someone actually listening to them?
Saint pushes Shin against the wall and slaps his hand over his mouth. Shin’s head hits the wall behind him with a thud.
The room falls silent apart from their heavy breaths.
“Why would you do that?”
Shin can’t answer, of course, but his eyes say it all. He is having fun.
“Promise me that if I let you go, you won’t do it again,” Saint warns, one hand on Shin’s mouth and the other around his arm, squeezing hard.
Shin blinks slowly and then licks his palm.
Saint curses and yanks his hand back. “Asshole!”
Shin wipes his mouth. “You used to be fun.”
“And you used to be sane.”
Shin laughs. “Are you sure about that?”
Saint squints. “Turn around, I’ll put the sunscreen on you before they come and check on us after your performance.”
Shin’s smile lingers on his lips as he turns to present him with his bare back.
Saint’s hands tremble a little as he spreads the lotion across Shin’s shoulders. He feels jittery, nervous, like he was so close to being caught doing something he shouldn’t have. “Done,” he finishes with a slap on Shin’s back. Serves him right.
Shin turns. “What about my front?”
Saint thrusts the tube of sunscreen into his hands. “Do it yourself.”
Shin pushes it back. “You dragged me here, you might as well finish the job.”
“Shin, you have perfect functioning hands, don’t you?” Saint’s eyeballs are pulsing. “Fine, stay still. And quiet.”
Shin watches him as Saint spreads the lotion inordinately on his chest. “Do it properly or I’ll tan in stripes.”
Saint looks up. “You became quite demanding.”
Shin’s fingers circle his wrist. “Come on, be precise.”
Saint exhales and starts rubbing the sunscreen properly on Shin’s skin. Shin is staying still and silent, following his every movement with his eyes. Saint squeezes another dollop on his palm and moves to his abdomen, and then drifts lower. He catches Shin’s gaze as he briefly slips his fingers under the waistband of Shin’s swim trunks. Two can play this game.
Although, what game is it, exactly?
Shin’s breath catches. Saint bites his lower lip, satisfied. He looks back up, into Shin’s eyes, defiant. Shin holds his gaze until he can’t anymore. “What about my arms?”
A soft huff escapes Saint’s lips. He gathers more sunscreen on his hand, realising he has already used half of the tube on Shin only, and begins to rub it onto Shin’s forearms and arms and hands. He takes the time to spread it onto Shin’s fingers too, deliberately and carefully, even though probably unnecessarily, while the other boy watches him in silence.
An unspoken tension hangs in the air between them. Saint can feel it like he can feel Shin’s knuckles under his hands. “On your legs, too?”
Shin nods, a little stunned. With that, Saint kneels on the floor and his hands sneak beneath Shin’s swim trunks to cover his thighs in sunscreen, despite the fact they won’t see the light of day beneath Shin’s swimwear.
Shin tenses. Saint smiles to himself as he places Shin’s foot on his own thigh to rub the cream on his leg.
“You know?” Shin’s voice pierces the heavy silence. “Maybe I should hire you as my personal masseuse after practice. My muscles are usually very sore, and you’re not half bad at massaging.”
Saint squeezes his calf. “Hire means I get compensated, right?”
Shin watches him wordlessly for a beat. But then, he slides his foot up Saint’s thigh until his toes get dangerously close to Saint’s groin. He presses a little with the ball of his foot. “What kind of compensation are we discussing?”
Saint drops his leg as if it burned him. “For fuck’s sake,” he mutters before grabbing Shin’s other leg.
He makes a quick work of it, this time. His heart is thudding against his chest and the room feels increasingly small and stifling. Is Hua Hin’s air that has made everybody insane and horny? And why would Shin be…like this with him? Or…maybe…has he initiated it?
“All done,” he declares, standing up.
Shin looks him up and down. “What about you?”
“I’ve already put sunscreen on.”
Shin bends to fetch the tube on the floor. “A touch-up wouldn’t hurt.”
Saint takes a step back. “I’m fine, it wasn’t a long time ago that I-”
Someone knocks on the door. “Are you done?”
It’s Mr Sung.
“Yes, coming out!” Saint shouts.
Shin looks at him flailing like a madman with a frown. “Chicken,” he mumbles before opening the door.
“What?”
*
The water park ends up being a lot of fun. They manage to mostly ignore their classmates’ endless teasing, focusing instead on trying every ride and slide.
When they get back to their room, the smell of chlorine hangs heavy on their hair and skin.
“Do you want to shower first?” Shin asks.
Saint looks up and catches him as he takes off his shirt. His eyes stop on Shin’s hip. “Wait.”
Before he can think better of it, Saint approaches his friend, arm already outstretched to touch him.
“What? Did I get sunburnt again?”
Saint swallows as his fingertips come in contact with Shin’s skin. “No, you have bruises. It must have been the slides.”
Shin hisses. “You know? You seem awfully eager to put your hands on me these days.”
Saint yanks his hand back. “What are you talking about?”
Shin lifts a corner of his mouth. “Do you happen to have a lotion for bruises too?”
“I only have coconut oil.”
“You’d be surprised about the versatility of coconut oil.”
Saint narrows his eyes. “Do you want me to rub it on you?”
Shin raises his chin.
“You seem awfully eager to have my hands on you these days,” Saint teases.
Saint is starting to think that last night’s events, combined with today’s teasing and Shin’s mindfuckery have made him insane. Is it normal to flirt with your best friend? And to want to push it to see how far you can stretch it before it breaks?
“I’ll shower first,” Shin declares.
*
The night’s scheduled activity consists of Thai traditional food and Thai traditional dances.
Amazing.
“Are you sure you want to go?” Saint asks Shin while he is drying his hair. “We can make up an excuse to stay in.”
Shin shrugs. “I’m hungry, I’d rather go. We can always leave right after dinner.”
“Fine.”
They meet Tew and First on their way to the pool, where tonight’s ‘party’ will be held.
“How is it going?” Tew asks them.
I’m afraid I’m going crazy and Shin already went, Saint wants to reply.
“Great,” he answers instead.
His friends throw him an apologetic smile.
“Oh, by the way, how long will this last?”
Tew frowns. “The party?”
Saint shakes his head. “No, I mean, Shin and I not denying we are the loudest, freakiest couple of the entire school.”
Shin chokes.
“How do you think people would react if they found out it’s not you but us?” First asks.
Saint develops a tic in his eye. “Should I care?”
“Will they be able to handle the disappointment?” Tew adds.
Saint clenches his fists. “Again, should I care?”
Tew shrugs. “Everybody is rooting for you two.”
“What the fuck, guys?” Saint cries out.
Shin places a hand on his arm. “They’re just fucking with you, Saint.”
“We will come clean soon enough,” First says at last. “Thank you, Saint and Shin.”
Shin nods solemnly.
“I know they’re your friends, but why are you being so understanding?” Saint asks Shin as soon as the other two are out of earshot.
Shin shrugs. “I feel sorry for them.”
“And not for us?”
Shin gazes at him. “Dating you is not the worst thing I’ve been accused of.”
Saint rolls his eyes and drops it.
The ‘party’ is predictably quite lame. Unfortunately, the funniest, most entertaining part for everybody ends up being the teasing and the jokes at Saint and Shin’s expenses, Shin’s stoic reactions and Saint slowly losing it.
“For the tenth time, it’s none of your business what flavour of lube we used!” he shouts at some point.
Miss Jan and Mr Sung, along with some other professors, turn to look at them.
Saint will jump into the pool by the end of the evening.
They’re all sitting in a circle on the beach chairs scattered along both sides of the swimming pool. At some point, Shin wraps an arm around Saint’s waist and leans on him. Which is wonderful, because all their friends need is Shin being handsy with him to fuel their teasing.
Still, Saint relaxes into his touch.
“How come we’ve never seen you kissing, guys?” Ken asks.
Saint realises he has never really liked him, anyway. He scoffs. “You know, some things are supposed to be private.”
Nate snorts. “Private? So, I guess it wasn’t you last night making my walls shake.”
“This is what I’ve been trying to tell you!” Saint cries out.
Knot huffs. “Get your story straight, man.”
Nate snickers. “There’s nothing straight about their story, come on.”
The two brothers burst out laughing at the same time, looking like hyenas.
Saint deflates. Fuck it, whatever.
Shin tucks his chin onto his shoulder. “The more you fight them, the more they won’t let go,” he whispers in Saint’s ear. “Just play along, they will eventually lose interest.”
Saint fixes his eyes on the swimming pool. “How should I play along?”
Shin keeps silent for a few seconds, breathing straight into Saint’s ear. “You could kiss me, for instance. To give them what they want and shut them up.”
A surge of heat rushes through Saint’s body. He swallows hard. “That wouldn’t...It won’t work.”
Shin’s fingers curl around the fabric of his shirt. “Is that a no?”
Saint can feel the sweat forming on his forehead. He wishes Shin were a little further. And yet, a part of him craves him closer. But…a kiss? “Yes.”
Shin exhales. “Yes you’ll do it?”
Saint squeezes his knee. “No, I won’t,” he murmurs. “It would only make things worse. They will just ask for more.”
He knows he is just rambling at this point. How can Shin be so chill? Is kissing his best friend not a big deal for him?
Saint can’t stop thinking about kissing Shin now. Preferably not in front of their friends.
Shin chuckles in his ear. “Fair enough.”
When someone touches his thigh, Saint almost screams.
It’s just Nate. “Sorry to interrupt your lovey-dovey moment,” he whispers, conspiratorially, “but…see you in half an hour in Ken’s room, okay?”
Saint frowns. “What for?”
“A better party, no?”
“Isn’t Ken rooming with Cable?” Shin asks. “Are you sure he’ll be alright with it?”
Nate shrugs. “He’s cool.”
Saint reluctantly agrees. Maybe a little alcohol would bring some clarity.
“But no funny business at my party, okay? Keep it PG13.”
Saint kicks him as Shin chuckles.
*
“Took you long enough,” Knot greets them, opening the door to Ken’s room. “We were waiting for you.”
Saint peeks inside the room. “To do what?”
This looks like an ‘exclusive’ party for Class 2 only. Most of their classmates are cramped inside the fairly small double room.
Ken pushes two beers into their hands.
“To Class 2!” They all cheer.
Saint sips on his warm beer before sitting down on the carpet.
“Guys, let’s keep it quiet, I don’t want us to be found out,” Cable warns them.
Nate pushes the rim of the bottle against his mouth. “Drink up, my friend!”
As they play stupid games, trying to whisper instead of shouting, Saint focuses on Tew and First. They don’t behave like a couple. Are they used to hiding their relationship? How long have they been together? Has anyone noticed anything? It’s usually Shin and him who get the ‘couple allegations’ – for some reason – and yet, they are not a couple.
“What’s wrong?” Shin taps his knee.
Saint shakes his head. “Nothing.”
Shin drops it.
Someone suggests a game of truth or dare. Saint knows they will try to make them do or say something. He decides to stick with truths.
“Who made the first move?”
“I did,” Shin claims.
“Who kissed whom first?”
“I did.” Shin again.
“Who fell first?”
“Me.”
Saint slams his hand on the floor. “Ohi, Shin! Why do you keep answering for me?”
Shin raises an eyebrow. “Did I lie?”
Saint glares. “Yes, you did.”
Their friends make fun of their bickering. They must look like a real couple now.
Good job, Shin.
What if they get tangled in their own lies? Maybe Tew and First had a point: their friends won’t appreciate finding out they’ve been lied to. But then again, he never asked for this. Shin is the one complicating things.
Saint sighs and gulps his beer.
When Shin chooses dare, he is already too tipsy to care.
Nate joins his fingers under his chin. “You know what I’m about to say.”
Shin shrugs, looking almost bored. “Shoot.”
“Kiss Saint.”
Saint knew this was coming. He should surrender to his fate, he was doomed from the start anyway.
“No, we’re not here to entertain you.”
Saint whips his head towards his friend. Did he refuse his dare?
Disappointment seeps in through the cracks in his walls. He was…willing. He would have done that. Shin proposed it, earlier, so why did he say no now?
“Boooring,” Knot shouts. “I’m tired of this game.”
“Keep your voice down,” Cable pleads from his bed.
“Should we leave?”
Saint takes a few seconds to realise Shin is talking to him. “Are you sleepy?”
Shin’s fluffy fringe hides his eyes. “Mh-mh.”
Saint nods and rises to his feet. He feels unsteady. Shin places a hand on his hip to stabilise him.
“Hey, lovebirds, don’t keep us awake tonight!” Nate jokes.
Saint flips him off. “Use earplugs, you nosy asshole!”
As they walk to their room, Saint feels his blood buzzing inside his veins. Yes, alcohol calmed him, but he also feels unsettled.
“Shin.”
His friend stops so abruptly that Saint almost bumps into him. “Yes?”
“You don’t want to kiss me?” Saint blurts out.
Well, fuck it.
“Who said I don’t want to kiss you?”
Saint jabs his pointer finger in his chest. “Do you want to kiss me?”
Shin inches closer. “Not in front of other people.”
Saint blinks. “You told me to kiss you at the pool.”
“And you didn’t want to.”
Saint frowns. “Should we kiss?”
Shin licks his lips, an unreadable expression on his face. “You mean, right now?”
Saint shakes his head. “No, I mean…should friends kiss?”
Shin scratches his head. “Good question.”
Saint smiles. “But, do you want to kiss me?”
“Now?”
“No, in general.”
Shin sighs. “Of course I do.”
“Oh.”
They hear a noise coming from the other end of the corridor so they rush to their room. Saint is confused but satisfied by Shin’s answer. He can sleep peacefully now.
*
Except he can’t. He must have dozed off for half an hour or so, but now he is lying awake in his bed because of the noises coming from the room next door. Again.
It started like last night: muffled laughter, the creak of a bed, and then groans and moans, reverberating against the thin hotel walls. They are not as loud as the night before, so this time around, they probably won’t get caught by the people sleeping three doors down, but they are sharing a wall, and their bed is literally pressed against Saint and Shin’s, so he is bound to hear them.
He doesn’t want to, but he is listening. And his body is betraying him once again. Heat starts spreading low in his belly, his thighs tense.
He is a freak, sick in the head. Last night, he didn’t know who they were. But now, now he knows who is making the noises, and he is growing hard all the same. Maybe he is still a little drunk, maybe the alcohol is still coursing through his veins, and he can’t think straight.
Saint resolves to stay very still and to regulate his own breathing. He will fight this. But then, a voice cuts through the dark. Closer than any other noise.
“Don’t pretend you’re not listening.”
Shin’s whisper sounds amused.
“You’re listening too,” Saint shoots back. He got actual goosebumps on his arms upon hearing Shin’s voice.
“Guilty as charged.”
Saint draws in a breath. “What should we do?”
The bed rustles as Shin rolls on his side. “Are you hard?”
Saint’s intake of breath almost chokes him. “Shin!” he whisper-shouts.
“Don’t bother lying, I can tell you are.”
Saint wraps his fingers around the bed sheet. If Shin keeps talking, he won’t get any less hard.
“You can touch yourself, you know?”
Saint’s whole body locks up. “What?”
Shin exhales. “No cold shower, tonight. Touch yourself, come on. No judgement.”
Saint bolts upright, his heart hammering. “I don’t want to get off to the sounds of my friends fucking. I’d rather shower.”
But then…Shin’s warm fingers wrap around his arm, and a jolt shoots trough him. He turns to glance at Shin and, in the bluish, dreamy light of the room, finds out that Shin’s other hand is buried between his thighs. He is going to die.
“Don’t think about them.”
Saint falls back down on the bed, eyes on the ceiling. His bones feel liquid. “Easier said than done.”
“Think about me,” Shins whispers.
And here it is, Saint is dead.
He covers his eyes with his hands. What the fuck is going on? “Shin, I’m passing away as we speak.”
Shin snorts. “Come on, don’t be so dramatic.”
Saint hears the unmistakable sound of an elastic band snapping. It’s Shin’s pyjama bottoms. His hand is inside his…
Oh, fuck. Saint caves and stuffs his hand inside his own pants, and the relief upon touching his hardness is instant. But maddeningly brief…
Oh, god, he is dying.
“Follow my voice, will you?” Shin murmurs, shakily.
A louder moan comes through the wall.
Saint shuts his eyes tightly. “Okay.”
“It’s just me and you, Saint,” Shin whispers, trying to keep his voice steady but barely managing. “Imagine it’s my hand touching you.”
Saint arches his back as he squeezes his cock. Why can’t it be Shin’s hand instead of his own. Why…?
“Imagine I’m the one stroking you…Slow at first.”
Saint follows Shin’s directions. His skin feels so tight, his body is burning.
Shin exhales. Saint can almost feel his breath on his heated skin. “And then…faster.”
Saint lets out a strangled sound as he picks up speed. He wonders if Shin is keeping the same rhythm.
The noises from next door – the creaking bed, the sighs – blur into the background. All he can hear is Shin’s words and Shin’s laboured breaths. All he can feel is the heat emanating from his body, so close but not close enough.
He moans with his lips closed.
Shin’s breath catches. “Why won’t you let me hear you?”
Saint groans, loud and clear. “Fuck.”
“Good boy.”
Saint is losing his mind. “Shin, you’re insane.”
Shin laughs. “You’re insulting the person who’s getting you off?”
Saint’s movement falters. “You’re not quite ‘getting me off’.”
“I bet you’d fall apart if I touched you for real.”
“Fucking hell, Shin.”
“Why don’t you beg me to touch you?” Shin’s voice is so rough, so broken.
Saint chokes on a gasp. He thinks about Shin’s slim fingers wrapped around his cock, his breath wet against his ear, his lips on his neck. He inhales, and he can smell Shin as if he were on top of him, all around him.
“Is it me you’re thinking about, Saint?” Shin sounds desperate. “Because I’m thinking about you, only you.”
“God, yes.”
Saint shudders and comes, pleasure ripping through him, leaving him wrecked.
He turns his head to witness Shin frantically touching himself, his hand hidden inside his pyjama pants. When Shin’s eyes lock with his, the urge to reach out and help him out almost breaks him in two.
“Saint,” Shin rasps.
But then he shuts his eyes, tips his head back and moans as he spills inside his clothes.
Saint can’t help but get closer to Shin to rest his head on his shoulder. He needs closeness, just for a little. Must be the very satisfying orgasm he has just experienced.
“Are you okay?” Shin murmurs.
No noise is seeping through the wall. How fitting that they finished at the same time.
Saint nods. The smell of Shin’s skin – sweat, alcohol, soap - makes him ache to kiss it. Or kiss him.
How did they get to this point?
Shin yawns. “I’m going to the bathroom, is that okay?”
Saint finally finds his voice. “Yes.”
Shin’s lips graze his temple before he gets up and leaves. “Don’t fall asleep.”
Saint snorts. “Why? Do you have other surprises for me?”
He feels relaxed, content in this post-coital haze. What went through between them doesn’t feel weird. Not yet, at least.
“You need to clean yourself up before sleeping.”
Right.
“And here I thought you wanted to cuddle me.”
Shin opens the bathroom door and slips in. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”
*
When morning comes, all the memories from last night crash into Saint like a tidal wave. Shin suggesting they kiss, then refusing to kiss him, their conversation about such – hypothetical or maybe not so hypothetical anymore – kiss. And then, them…masturbating together, guided by the sound of Shin’s voice and his filthy mouth.
Saint covers his face with the bed sheet and growls.
“Are you okay there?”
Shin is awake. How is he supposed to face him?
“Yes, I’m just…hangover,” Saint lies.
“Does that include memory loss, by any chance?”
Saint rolls his eyes, but then realises Shin can’t see him. “No, Shin, don’t worry, I remember everything,” he decides to admit.
Shin pats his thigh through the sheet as he gets off the bed. “Good. I’m going to get ready. Today’s activity is beach games.”
Saint slides the bed sheet down his face. “The tables have turned indeed. I thought you hated everything about this trip.”
“Yes, but then I started to have fun.” Shin winks. “Besides, today is the last day. Do you want me to miss it?”
Saint sighs. “I’m looking forward to another day of teasing.”
“This time they would be right, though.”
Saint sits up. “Would they? It was Tew and First again last night. We didn’t make a sound.”
Shin shrugs. “And we didn’t even have sex, technically.”
“Shin!”
“What?”
“How can you talk so casually about it?”
Shin leans in to watch him closely. “Are you embarrassed, Saint? You used to be so shameless back when you were courting me.”
Saint crosses his arms in front of his chest. “When did I ever court you?”
Shin flicks his forehead. “Now you’re faking memory loss?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t pretend you never used romantic lines on me.”
Saint massages his forehead. “I thought we were talking about sex, not romance.”
Shin stares at him. “It’s the same to me.”
“Oh.”
Saint looks at him to try and figure him out. It feels like they’re having a serious and honest conversation in the guise of banter.
“You know what I think?” Shin points a finger at him. “Your brain is not connected to your heart sometimes.”
Saint blinks. “Wouldn’t I be dead if that were the case?”
Shin frowns.
“Wait, are you telling me I’m slow?”
Shin laughs. “Never mind, you’re not ready for this conversation yet.”
Saint catches his arm. “When will I be ready?”
“I don’t know, but now you’d better get ready to go out.”
*
They meet Nate, Knot and Ken as soon as they leave their room. How lucky.
“Look, the lovely couple. You had fun again last night.”
Saint squints. “Wait, you heard them?”
Shin steps in front of him. “He means us.”
“You weren’t as wild, but we could hear your bed creaking and some moans.”
Saint grunts. “Admit that you spent the night with your ears glued to the wall hoping to hear something!”
“We were drunk, we didn’t have the energy for that,” Nate explains.
“So, maybe you imagined everything.”
Knot smirks. “Oh, I definitely didn’t imagine you cursing and Shin moaning ‘oh Saint’.”
Saint blushes violently. Shin, next to him, chokes on his spit.
Great, he got caught masturbating with his best friend. It would have been way less embarrassing if they had at least fucked.
Things go from bad to worse when they see Tew and First a little later.
“Uh, guys, we heard you last night,” they announce.
Saint wants to kneel on the floor and dig a tunnel to Japan. “But we didn’t do anything!”
Shin clears his throat. “That’s technically a lie.”
Saint elbows him. “It wasn’t sex!”
A few heads turn in their direction. Saint bites his tongue.
“Whatever it was, we heard it.”
Saint’s eyebrows shoot to his hair. “How could you hear us with all the noises you were making?”
“We heard it when we stopped,” First explains matter-of-factly.
So, they did not finish together.
“We will keep your secret as you’re keeping ours,” Tew promises.
Saint clenches his fists and takes a step forward. “Everyone already thinks Shin and I are fucking – thanks to you, by the way – so which secret are you actually keeping?”
Shin touches his arm. “Saint, relax.”
“Everyone thinks you and Shin are a couple,” First corrects him. “That’s cute.”
Shin drags Saint to breakfast before he can punch his friends.
*
On the beach, they are divided into teams to play. Some games are silly, others are hard, and some of them try to kill them.
Saint plops down on the sand to drink some water and rest. Shin, on the opposite team, sits with his teammates on the other side.
Eve drops a cold water bottle between his legs. “You’re dying to go to him.”
Saint glares at her as he tries to clean the bottle from the sand sticking to the bottom. “We can be apart, you know?”
“Oh, can you? For how long? Three minutes?”
Saint gulps some water. “Last time was three years.”
Eve kicks him. “And how did that go?”
Airy joins them. “It’s heart-breaking to see you and Shin on different teams.”
Saint curses. “Why is everyone so invested in our business?”
Airy steals his bottle. “You made it everyone’s business when you decided to fuck out loud.”
Eve laughs as if her girlfriend had said the funniest thing ever.
Saint thinks that if Shin and he ever started dating, they wouldn’t have a single second of privacy.
Why is he thinking about dating Shin now?
“Hey, do you think that my brain is not connected to my heart?”
Eve and Airy stare.
“I think your brain is hardly connected to anything,” Eve declares.
Saint punches her on the arm.
“Ouch, Saint!” she protests. “And by the way, what the hell does it even mean?”
“It means he doesn’t know his own feelings.” Airy comes to the rescue.
“Oh,” say Eve and Saint at once.
“Did Shin tell you that?” Airy grabs a banana and splits it into two parts to share it with Eve.
Saint nods.
“Oh, Saint, he wants you to wake the fuck up.”
Saint sighs and falls backwards on the sand. Now he understands why Shin was all grumpy: school trips are not relaxing. They’re mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting.
*
Next stop on their last day is the temple.
They walk up the endless steps panting, already drained by the morning activities.
Shin adjusts his sunglasses on his nose. His sunscreen is melting and running down one side of his face in a white rivulet.
Saint reaches out to dry his sweat with a tissue he has kept from lunch. “Is your leg okay?”
Shin nods. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”
Once on the landing, they remove their shoes to enter the temple.
“Couples should make merit together,” Ken whispers, appearing beside them out of thin air.
Saint makes a face. “But we’re not a-”
“Don’t lie in a holy place.”
Saint huffs and grabs Shin by the wrist. “Let’s go make merit, we need some good fortune.”
They kneel on the ground to pray and meditate, while the distant sound of a monk reciting his mantras fills the air as the smoke of burning incense.
Saint hopes to be filled with clarity. He sneaks a glance at Shin, all serious with his eyes closed and his hands clasped.
He looks serene and beautiful, and Saint wants him.
Saint freezes. Great, he had an unholy thought in a holy place; he is doomed. But, at least, clarity came to him: he likes his best friend, there’s no reason to beat around the bush. Probably always have, and always will. And Shin likes him back, right?
Saint is tempted to ask him then and there.
“I know you’re looking at me.” Shin cracks one eye open. “What do you want?”
Saint faces straight. “I think I did it. I’ve finally managed to connect my heart and brain.”
Shin laughs so loud that he earns himself a scolding from the monk.
*
The final stop is night market: a labyrinth made of stalls selling food, clothes, jewellery. The air smells like cooked meat and spices, flowers and the tangy scent of the nearby sea.
Their classmates seem to have made every effort to leave Saint and Shin alone to enjoy their ‘date’ in peace. Their words, not Saint’s or Shin’s, obviously.
They browse the market aimlessly, getting lost under endless rows of light bulbs casting their glow on them, until hunger starts gnawing at them and they stop to buy skewers, fish balls for Shin, chicken for Saint.
“Do you want to try mine?” Shin brings his skewer close to Saint’s mouth.
Saint opens his mouth absentmindedly to bite into the ball. The sauce drips on his chin, but before he can chase it with his tongue, Shin’s thumb wipes it off.
Saint looks at him dumbfounded as Shin, without breaking eye contact and with a faint smirk on his lips, licks the sauce off his thumb.
“Shin!”
Shin raises his chin. “What? They were watching, I gave them something worth looking at.”
Who is they, mouths Saint. “That was disgusting,” he says out loud.
“You don’t look disgusted,” Shin points out.
Saint blushes, his skin tingling where Shin has brushed his finger over. At once, all the memories, images, fantasies from the night before that he had tried to block all day long come back to him. He feels hot all over as he stares at Shin, and all he can see is a picture of him with his hand thrust inside his pyjama pants, and all he can hear is his broken voice telling him to touch himself.
Shin comes closer and sticks his tongue out.
Saint takes a step back and almost trips. “What are you doing?”
“Don’t I get a bite?”
Saint looks down at his hand holding the skewer. “Oh.”
Shin guides Saint’s hand to his own mouth and steals a ball. His tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip and Saint thinks that should have been me.
He is fucked. Unfortunately, not literally, despite what his classmates believe.
As they stroll around the market, every time Shin’s hand brushes against his or his fingers touch his arm or hip, he risks jumping out of his skin.
They bump into Eve and Airy.
“They sell couple rings over there,” Eve informs them, showing them the rings on her and her girlfriend’s fingers.
Saint opens his mouth to reply, but Shin beats him to it. “Should we check them out?”
Airy throws Saint a poignant look.
Saint trails behind Shin as they search for the aforementioned stall.
“We don’t need couple rings, do we?” Saint asks him tentatively.
Shin glances at him. “Not yet, I guess,” he replies, taking a detour to a stall sending mango and sticky rice instead.
“Not yet?” mumbles Saint, his heart pounding. Is Shin messing with him or..? He can’t help feeling hopeful and…slightly disappointed that they didn’t check out the rings.
Shin buys them a portion of mango and sticky rice to share and takes him to the beach to escape the noise, the smell and the brightness of the market.
Saint shivers when his toes touch the cool sand. “What if we lose the others? We’re supposed to be back at the hotel by midnight.”
Shin sits down on the sand. “I’m sure we can find our way back to the hotel on our own.”
Saint grabs the wooden fork Shin hands him and takes a piece of mango. When the sweet and sour taste touches his tongue, he hums in pleasure. He looks up at Shin, and even though he has his own fork, he gathers a piece of mango and some rice and presents it to him. Shin opens his mouth and takes the offered bite. When some of the coconut milk dribbles down the corner of Shin’s mouth, Saint buries his fingers into the sand, not to do anything stupid. They don’t have an audience, after all.
“I’m going to be honest, I feel kind of sad now.”
Saint looks at his friend in awe. “Are you sad because the trip is drawing to its end, and so is our high school career?”
Shin watches the black surface of the sea and nods.
“I see character development here,” Saint jokes. “Or you’ve been sad all along and you didn’t want to admit it?”
Shin places his hands on the sand to support himself as he looks at the sky. “I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to see the end…approaching. But now I do, and it feels sad.”
Saint lifts his head to watch the same starry sky. “It’s not easy to accept that things are changing.”
Shin looks at him from the corner of his eye. “To think that we could have…spent our last high school years together and we only got a few months.”
Saint whips his head around. “Is this about…me, then?”
Shin tsks. “Don’t flatter yourself.”
Saint frowns and punches him on the thigh. “Asshole.”
“Okay, it is, mostly”, Shin is forced to admit.
Saint gathers a bunch of sand in his fist. It feels wet. “We will still see each other every day, even if we end up in different universities. You won’t get rid of me so easily.”
Shin laughs. “I love being threatened by the prospect of your constant presence in my life.”
“You better.”
A stretch of silence passes between them.
“But it won’t be the same as seeing you in class,” Shin continues. “And, yes, I will miss my classmates. Everything will be different in a few months.”
Saint’s hand inches closer to Shin’s on the sand, but he doesn’t touch his friend. “You’re basically sad that things are about to change and anxious about the future.”
“I am. Aren’t you?”
The anxiety Saint is feeling right now is of the good kind. It feels like anticipation, giddiness, eagerness. Things are about to change, yes, but clearly for the better. He is curious about the future more than scared of it; it can’t be worse than his past. And this thing that’s been building up between him and Shin is reaching its peak, he feels. They are close to the…summit, and it’s already looking good from here.
“Nah, things are finally looking up. Great things are waiting for us, I’m sure.”
Shin’s mouth does this thing like he doesn’t want to give in to a smile. But he smiles, eventually. “What turned you into such a positive person?”
“You did,” Saint replies without hesitation. “Ever since we became friends again, I feel like good things can and will happen to me. Even if I might not deserve them yet.”
Shin starts playing with the sand, shy, but his smile grows bigger. “You’re back with your romantic lines.”
“Maybe I’m courting you again.”
Shin bursts out laughing. “Careful, someone might be listening and the rumours will get worse.”
Saint’s fingertips graze Shin’s. “Let them listen, then.”’
Shin opens his mouth and it looks like he is about to say something but he shakes his head eventually. He is smiling though. “We should start to find our way back, Cinderella.” He gets up, brushes the grains of sand off his trousers and offers his hand to Saint.
As they walk back to the market, Shin’s hand knocks purposefully against Saint’s. “You deserve all the good things that have come and are coming to you. And,” he pauses and looks over at his friend. “You’re right, things are looking up ever since we got back together. So we better never leave each other again.”
On the tuk-tuk ride to their hotel, Shin throws an arm around Saint’s shoulders and sticks close to him even though there is enough space to sit comfortably apart. Saint is aware of all their points of contact, his skin buzzing from an electric undercurrent, in his stomach, the familiar pull of when he jumps from an altitude or rides his bike too fast. It feels great.
*
Back in their hotel room, however, the jittery feeling becomes overwhelming. Saint is reminded of the night before, and being alone with Shin in this enclosed space feels almost unbearable if he can’t do anything about it. Should he do something about it? How should he approach the situation?
Shin looks over at him and Saint feels like he is about to burst or jump on him. “I’m taking a shower.”
The shower doesn’t calm him, but at least gives him some time and space to think.
Shin showers next and when he comes out of the bathroom, bare torso and only his pyjama pants on, he finds the lights off, the room suffused with its usual, nocturnal, blue glow. He yelps and jumps on the spot upon seeing Saint seated on the edge of their shared bed, still and quiet.
“What are you doing? I had a heart attack, you freak.”
“Do you think they’ll be fucking tonight too?” Saint asks, pointing with his head at the wall behind him.
Shin towels his hair. “How am I supposed to know? Should I go and ask them what time the show will begin?”
The room next door is really quiet. But that can change at any moment. Saint doesn’t know what time their friends have got back.
Shin stops his movements short. “Wait, are you hoping they would fuck so you can get a round two of what we did last night?”
Saint is glad that Shin can’t see the flush on his face. “You’d get a round two as well, wouldn’t you?”
Shin huffs. “Well, should you have all the fun?”
Saint stays silent, his fingers wrapped around the duvet beneath him. “Shin…I was…” he swallows and flutters his lashes to focus amid the nervousness and horniness flaring inside him. “I was thinking more about turning their rumour into a truth. Give them something real to talk about.” He gives Shin a suggestive look, not sure if the other boy can actually see it.
Shin drops the towel on the floor. “Are you talking about…?”
Saint stretches his legs in front of him, faking a nonchalance he doesn’t really feel. “Us having sex, yes.”
Shin places a hand on his chest, just above his heart. The sound of his swallowing comes so loud. “Is this what you meant when you said you finally connected your brain to your heart?”
Saint smiles, happy that Shin has read between the lines. “Yes!”
“But this looks more like your brain has connected to your...dick.”
Saint makes an impatient noise. “Shin, everything is connected now!”
Shin doesn’t move, nor does he make a sound. His pale chest is almost glowing in the dark and Saint observes its rise and fall. Did he read everything wrong? Panic rises up his throat. “Shin, you don’t want to? After yesterday, I thought you might…”
Shin’s sigh sounds loud and wet. “Me? Not wanting to have sex with you? Are you…insane?”
Saint’s bloodstream is pounding in his ears. He needs a little more straightforwardness. “Do you want to or not?”
The other boy bends to fetch the towel on the floor. He throws it on the chair next to the bed. “Of course I do.”
Saint’s heart races like crazy. He blinks, his skin feeling tight and his mind hazy. “Since when?”
Shin touches his stomach and Saint can’t help but look at his groin. He averts his gaze back to Shin’s face. “Maybe we should have this conversation some other time and get on with…it now.”
Shin snorts. “Have I agreed to have sex with you now?”
“Haven’t you?!”
The distance between them feels like torture.
“I’ll have sex with you only for the right reasons,” Shin declares.
With all this talking about sex without having some, Saint is getting restless. “Which are?”
“Because we both want it.”
Saint throws his hands up in the air. “Well, we want it!”
“Aren’t you doing it just because you want to prove something to our classmates?”
“Fuck our classmates!” Saint shouts. “Now, wait, fuck me! I mean…”
Shin chuckles. “Saint, stop blabbering.”
“Shin!” Saint hits the mattress with his fists. “Shut up and listen to me. I joked about making the rumour true just to break the ice and not point-blank ask you to fuck.”
Shin looks uncertain still. “Just to double check: you aren’t just horny and in need of a release and I happen to be the only one around...?”
Saint’s brain and balls are about to explode. “Are you playing dumb or…? I like you! I swear my brain, heart and dick are aligned now!”
Shin giggles, and he sounds cute and happy. “Great, that seals the deal.”
“What about you? Are your brain, heart, and dick aligned?”
Shin clears his throat. “Let’s say that right now my dick takes the lead, but yes, you dumbass, I have feelings for you, but, unlike you, I didn’t find out only today at the temple.”
“Good feelings, I hope?” Saint asks because he doesn’t know what else to say, as stupid in lust and love as he feels.
Shin is on him in a heartbeat and pushes him on the mattress. “Mostly,” he murmurs as he straddles him.
Saint falls on his back like he is made of butter. Shin takes hold of his wrists, pinning them gently to the mattress.
“Even if you have bad feelings for me, please don’t stop now.”
Shin tsks. “Are you going to yap throughout the whole thing?”
Saint shakes his head vigorously.
Even in the poor lighting, Shin’s gaze looks so intense Saint is going to turn into embers.
“I promise I’ll shut up,” Saint murmurs, not to disturb the tension hanging between them. “But I need to ask. Did you play into their jokes and not denied the rumour because you wanted this to happen?
Okay, he is yapping because he is nervous and excited and can’t believe this is really happening. But he also truly wants to know.
Shins flutters his lashes. “Their teasing never bothered me. They think we should be together, and I wholeheartedly agree.”
Saint feels like a fire has been lit under the bed. “Fuck.”
Shin squeezes his wrists. “We will, if you shut up.”
Heat pools in Saint’s groin. Everything is so fucking hot inside and all around him. “You should come closer.”
Shin’s smirk looks evil. “What for?”
“I can’t kiss you if you’re a hundred miles away.”
Shin softens. “Don’t worry, I can take care of it,” he whispers, before crashing their mouths together.
The impact of Shin’s lips on his sends shivers up Saint’s body, and in this moment, he knows that he will never get enough of it. This will be what he will feed on for the rest of his life: Shin’s mouth and tongue and smell and tiny noises, the warmth of his skin, the weight of his body on top of his.
As Shin releases his wrists to cup his face, the kiss turns gentler, slower. Saint hooks his arms around Shin’s neck and exhales through his nose. So many words want to tumble out of his mouth, but it is otherwise occupied. Their lips slide against each other’s, their tongues meet and shy away from each other. Saint’s hands inch towards Shin’s shoulders, then trail down his back, Shin’s skin hot and smooth. For a second, Saint wonders if it hurts where Shin got sunburnt, but the noises he is making don’t sound pained. He dips his fingers in the meatier part of Shin’s body, squeezing his hips.
Shin mewls above him and his hands sneak inside Shin’s pyjama top to touch the warm skin underneath.
“You have no idea how hard it was yesterday not to touch you,” he whispers inside Saint’s ear.
Ripples of pleasure crash against Saint’s body. “You should have touched me. I wanted you to touch me.”
“I should have,” replies Shin’s broken voice. “Instead of driving myself crazy.”
Saint groans. “But it was hot, wasn’t it? You were so good with that mouth of yours.”
Shin kisses the shell of his ear. “I’m afraid that tonight my mouth will be put to different uses.”
Saint laughs as he tangles his fingers in Shin’s hair to guide that mouth to his throat. Shin kisses him there, slow, wet kisses all over his skin.
Saint arches his back and their hips brush, cocks straining against thin cotton. His thoughts scatter as his whole body burns with a need he never thought he could feel. When he scratches his nails on Shin’s back, Shin growls, and Saint remembers the sunburn again. “Sorry.”
Shin sinks his teeth into his neck. “Don’t be, I like it. I like everything you’re doing to me. Do you like what I’m doing to you?”
“Sh-in.”
Shin’s hand climbs up Saint’s stomach to his chest and his thumb circles a nipple.
Saint moans.
“Yes, you do,” Shin murmurs and searches his mouth again to kiss him sloppily.
Saint’s hands venture to his ass to grab it and create some more friction between their groins. He turns his head to the side, leaving Shin with the only choice to kiss and nips at his jaw.
“We should be naked,” Saint observes.
Shin’s lips travel along his face. “Good point. I’m surprised you’re still capable of coherent thoughts.”
Saint snorts. “Not for long.”
Shin clutches the hem of Saint’s shirt with both hands. Saint looks up at him: he looks ethereal in the dark blue light, like a creature from the deep sea. He grasps his waist and sighs, awed and enamoured.
Shin disrupts his moment of adoration by tugging Saint’s shirt up. Of course, the fabric gets caught halfway over his head. Of course, they laugh amidst the panic of freeing Saint from this cotton prison.
When the shirt is safely removed and Saint can breathe again, Shin cradles his face with his hands. “Sorry.”
Saint smiles as another kind of heat blooms in his stomach. “It’s fine.”
Shin bends down to kiss him sweetly and Saint’s heart swells. “I’m going to be gentle with you.”
Saint’s breath catches. “Shin, you can do everything you want to me.”
Shin takes his wrist and presses Saint’s hand flat against his chest. “I want you to feel my…”
He doesn’t finish his sentence, but Saint knows. “I do.” He guides Shin’s hand to his own heart. “And I want you to feel mine.”
Shin kisses him as his hands navigate the length of Saint’s torso, pausing at his waistband. He stops and waits for Saint to nod before stripping his pants away in one fluid motion.
Saint tugs at Shin’s pants in return. Shin lets him help him remove them.
They should probably turn on the light, but Saint likes this underwater atmosphere, the dim blue glow washing over Shin’s body as he bends to trace reverent paths with his lips over his stomach. Saint feels like he is being worshipped.
He is also very hard.
When Shin straightens up to ask his permission to take off Saint’s underwear, Saint can see the outline of his erection through his briefs. He gulps, staring at it, and only remembers to answer when Shin nudges him.
He shivers when he finds himself completely naked. Shin looks as entranced as he was looking at his leaking dick, but when he reaches for it, Saint panics, irrationally afraid to come already, and circles his wrist. “Take off yours.”
Shin gets rid of his briefs hastily. Soon his erection stands glorious in front of Saint’s eyes.
Saint wants all of him and wants him now. He drags Shin on top of him, and when their bodies slide against each other, bare this time, Saint gets flooded with something close to relief. He needed this.
Shin holds his neck gently with one hand as he kisses him. Meanwhile, Saint’s hands roam freely all over his back. When they stop on his ass and push it down for contact, this time feels different. And better, of course.
“Saint,” Shin mumbles, his hand slowly crawling down from neck to chest to stomach to…
“Yes, touch me.”
When Shin circles his erection with his fingers, Saint makes a noise that would definitely wake someone up.
He slides his hand in between their bodies to touch Shin as well and…it feels weird and good and hot. If they had touched each other last night, it would have felt like this. But today it’s not just a scenario he has created in his head through Shin’s words. Today is real.
Shin licks into his mouth as he strokes him messily. Saint tries to keep up with him as everything feels too much and not enough.
“Shin, wait.”
Shin stops immediately. “What’s wrong?”
Fuck.
“I…I want you.”
Shin brushes his lips against his ear. “Tell me what you want from me, I’ll give it to you,” he whispers, the pad of his thumb drawing lazy circles over Saint’s slit.
Saint takes a deep breath in. He feels electric. “I want to fuck.”
Shin’s laugh rumbles. “You mean that you want me to fuck you or…?”
Saint shakes and then crumbles. “Yes, yes, yes, please.”
“According to the rumours, you are a bottom. It fits the narrative.”
Saint bursts out laughing. “The narrative? You’re insane.”
Shin starts stroking him again. “Aren’t we doing this for our most devoted fans?”
Saint squeezes his cock, eliciting a strangled moan. “I’m doing this for me.”
Shin bumps his nose against his cheek. “And me, I hope.”
Saint kisses him as an answer.
They decide their positions and props a pillow behind Saint’s back. Saint is tense, so Shin kisses his neck and down his chest, his taut stomach, his belly, his thighs. Saint draws him closer to have his share of kisses, on his rosy shoulders and neck, his hand caressing his back and thighs. Shin keeps him hard by pumping him slowly, all the while whispering sweet nothings to him.
Saint feels loved and cherished.
“I’ve never done this before,” Shin murmurs against his mouth, perched above him, his arms supporting his weight.
Saint grips his arm and looks into his eyes in the dimly lit room. “Me neither.”
Shin clears his throat. “I think we need…something to make the slide easier.”
Saint, aroused and confused, a hand holding Shin’s length loosely, imagining it inside him, the thought both thrilling and terrifying, blinks slowly. “Mh?”
Shin huffs a laugh against his chin. “I’m going to use my mother’s coconut oil.”
Saint snaps awake. “What? You did not just mention your Mum during sex.”
Shin makes a strangled noise. “Fuck, I did.”
Saint can’t help but laugh. “It’s in my backpack, it’s my coconut oil now.”
Shin plants a kiss on his mouth. “I’ll get it.”
“We’re not going too fast?” Saint asks him when Shin sits in front of him with the bottle of lotion.
Shin freezes. “Do you want me to go slower? Are you scared?”
Saint shakes his head. “No, no, I mean..! You and I…?
Shin kisses his knee. “I’ve been in love with you for so long that, believe me, this doesn’t feel rushed at all. I don’t know about you.”
Saint’s cheeks burn. “Oh, Shin…”
The other boy sighs. “Don’t pity me when I’m about to put my dick inside you.”
“No!” Saint shouts. “I’m not! I am the pitiful one! I’ve just realised it while you’ve been sitting on this knowledge for all this time.”
Shin snorts. “I only knew about me, not you.”
Saint stares at his fingers. “Mh.”
Shin laughs. “I’m just kidding, I knew about you too.”
Saint slaps him on his side. “You could have told me. I hate you. Now, please, fuck me.”
They laugh as Shin fumbles with the bottle, squeezing out too much lotion, dropping it on the bed sheets. The smell of coconut, strong and overtly sweet, brings Saint back to the other day, when Shin’s skin was covered in it and he had joked about taking a bite out of him. In hindsight, he wasn’t joking at all.
When Shin finally manages to coat his fingers with the oil and slide one inside Saint – lips on his knee, to anchor him – Saint tenses, panic flickering across his face. But Shin leans down immediately to cover him in kisses and words of reassurance. “You’re doing great, just breathe.”
The stretch is strange, intrusive, but each kiss, each stroke of Shin’s other hand over his hardness helps him relax into it. By the time Shin works a second finger inside, Saint’s discomfort has melted into something else, something that tickles his nerves. His blood humming under his skin, he urges Shin to put his dick where his fingers are.
Shin slicks himself clumsily with the oil and manoeuvres Saint to make him bend his knees, then gently guides his thighs apart. Without taking his eyes off Saint, in case he felt uncomfortable, he pushes his thighs higher, until they frame his waist.
“I look ridiculous right now,” Saint complains, breathless, sweating, fringe sticking to his forehead.
“I think you look at your most beautiful,” Shin tells him and Saint melts and the tension and the pain of Shin pressing inside him fade into the background.
Shin is gentle and delicate. He inches in slowly, paying attention to every sound and movement made by Saint.
Saint clutches his shoulders, overwhelmed by the burn. It borders on unbearable, but he endures it, looking into Shin’s beautiful features.
“Saint, how are you?”
Saint places a hand between his shoulder blades. “I love it, you can move.”
Shin groans loudly, and Saint thinks that’s it, they are going to hear us, and the idea makes him even hotter, for a minute there.
He is a freak.
When Shin sinks all the way in, Saint thinks he might shatter. But then Shin shifts, angling his hips, and suddenly the pain turns into something electric.
Shin kisses him sloppily as he thrusts into him. “How do you feel?”
“I’m good, I’m good,” Saint exhales and he is, truly.
Shin slides a hand between them to stroke him as best as he can. Saint feels everything at once: the good, the bad, the mind-blowing.
This is amazing.
Shin grunts and moans and Saint realises this is how their friends have felt for the past two nights. Now, it’s our turn, assholes, you hear this? Or should he thank them?
He lets a low moan when Shin hits that good spot again. Shin laces their fingers, his mouth hanging open against Saint’s cheek, Saint’s name a broken litany on his lips.
Saint stretches his arm above his head and presses it against the wall. He pushes against Shin to meet his thrusts.
“Shi-n.”
“I thought about this, Saint, so ma-ny times. Thought about…you. Us.”
Saint draws a shaky breath in. “This is what I saw last night while you were walking me through…it.”
Shin rewards him with a biting kiss. “Good,” he murmurs against his lips.
Saint hisses and his eyes roll. He places his hand on top of Shin to stroke himself harder, faster, the feeling of Shin’s cock buried inside him overwhelming in the best way.
Rivulets of sweat travel down Shin’s face on Saint’s body. “Saint.”
Saint bites his lower lip hard, almost drawing blood. “Yes.”
It doesn’t take long before he comes, nails buried into the flesh of Shin’s back, a guttural sound stuck in the back of his throat.
When Shin realises it, he stops, their bodies still conjoined, sticky with sweat and now Saint’s spent. “Are you okay?” he asks sweetly.
Saint nods and squeezes his ass. “Yes, please continue.”
Shin throws Saint’s legs over his shoulders and slams into him with renewed vigour as Saint lies there, exhausted, high, happy, heart in his throat, limbs heavy and useless. Now, he wishes the room were properly lit, to watch Shin’s face and his expressions. He can only focus on Shin’s ragged breath and the slapping sound of skin on skin. He realises that the bed is not only creaking, but…knocking shamelessly against the wall. What a nice symphony for their neighbours.
He locks his eyes with Shin and tells him how beautiful he looks and how good he is. Shin likes the praise: he groans, his thrusts faltering, until he spills inside him. Saint can feel it all, oozing in and out of him. When Shin draws out, he can finally relax his legs on the mattress. Everything hurts, but in the most wonderful way.
Shin flops down on his chest, his hair damp. “Wow,” he rasps.
Saint threads his fingers through his hair. “Is this your feedback?”
Shin closes his eyes. “I was kind of expecting a round of applause from next door.”
Saint laughs. “Maybe we made them speechless.”
The whole world seems soundless, except for their laboured breaths and the sound of Saint’s heart still thundering inside his ears.
Shin kisses him sweet. “Your opinion is the only one that matters to me anyway.”
With the little strength he has left, Saint starts clapping.
Shin sighs, tired and contented.
*
Their departure is scheduled right after breakfast.
On their way to the breakfast hall and at the buffet table, no one bothers them: no teasing, no joking, no innuendos.
Saint sits beside Shin and whispers in his ear. “Shin, they’re not saying anything today.”
Shin shrugs. “Maybe they didn’t hear us.”
Saint frowns. “We weren’t…subtle.”
“Or maybe they got tired of taunting us.”
Saint glances at Nate and Knot on the table opposite theirs. “Do you think they would waste a chance like this?”
Eve, Peeta and Airy take a seat in front of them.
“Guys, you missed our ‘little’ beach party last night.”
Saint’s eyes widen. “What beach party? When? Where?”
Eve scoops up a piece of fried egg and some rice. “At the beach?”
“What about the curfew?”
“We all came back before midnight and then we sneaked out again,” Peeta explains.
Saint wiggles his eyebrows. “No one told us anything about this plan.”
“We couldn’t find you, guys,” Eve smirks. “We thought that you wanted some alone time and didn’t bother to call you.”
Saint sips his orange juice. “Mh-mh.”
Eve kicks him under the table. “Is that a yes? You wanted some alone time and you holed up in your room to…?”
“Eve!” Saint huffs. “Must you know everything all the time?”
“Saint, you promised me some…explanation.”
Saint sighs and shoots a glance at Shin. “I can’t give you the whole story but, just so you know, the rumour about me and Shin…doing…that was just a rumour…until yesterday.”
Peeta spills her coffee on the white cloth. “You admitted that…so candidly. We didn’t even have to insist or tease you.”
Shin laughs and offers to get her a fresh cup.
Saint plants his elbows on the table and rests his chin on his palms, his cheeks puffed. “I told you I’m not a liar. I fought it when it was a rumour, but I don’t want to lie to you now. It wasn’t us the first two nights, but we had our…turn yesterday.”
Eve sighs dreamily. “I missed Saint the oversharer.”
Saint throws a napkin at her. “But can you please keep this to yourself? Let the others believe what they want.”
“They think you’ve been fucking for three nights straight,” Airy informs them.
Shin places a cup of coffee in front of Peeta. “At least they think we got good stamina.”
Saint snorts.
“So…” All eyes travel to Peeta. “Who was making those infamous noises the first and the second night if it wasn’t you?”
Saint and Shin exchange a look and pretend to zip their lips up.
“You’re boring, we’re leaving,” Eve gets up to drag her friends away. “But congratulations on the sex.”
Saint glares. “Why you’re never satisfied? I gave you some juicy, exclusive news!”
Shin clears the table as Saint sits there contemplating his life. When he is done, he squeezes Saint’s shoulders. “Is something wrong?”
Saint sighs. “This is humiliating.”
Shin sits beside him, alarmed, a hand on his thigh under the table. “What? That the girls know?”
“No, that no one noticed us yesterday!”
Shin tilts his head to the side. “Are you serious right now? You’re disappointed because you wanted an audience?”
The other boy rests his forehead upon the table and pouts. “Our big debut was wasted.”
“Did you actually want your applause?” Shin jokes. “To be fair, they think that our debut happened three days ago and gave us plenty of support.”
“But the one time it’s real, they…know nothing about it.”
Shin touches the back of his neck. “I thought you hated the teasing and the gossip about us.”
“I don’t want them to gossip about us,” Saint mutters. “I just wanted them to know the truth.”
Shin taps his fingers on his nape. “They have their own version of the truth, which is…not far from our truth.”
“I guess.”
With a last squeeze of his thigh, Shin urges him to get up. “Enough sulking because no one knows you got railed, let’s grab our luggage and go to the bus.”
*
On their way to the bus, Nate approaches Saint. “You know that you’re walking funny, my friend?”
Oh, here it is, the teasing.
Saint’s heart flutters. Did he actually miss this? “Try to take a dick up your ass and let me know how you’d walk.”
Nate blanches. His brother Knot and his best friend Ken freeze.
Saint grins: he has beaten them at their own game, and now they are speechless.
“I wouldn’t want to know, thank you, mate, ” Nate stutters.
Shin shoos them away. “Let’s swap, I can see you struggling.” He offers Saint his suitcase and takes hold of Saint’s backpack.
When they sit on the bus, Shin nudges him. “Does it hurt? Your…” He looks around and lowers his voice. “Ass?”
Saint wiggles in his seat. “It does. Do you think a I can do it again?”
Shin pretends to ponder it. “I’m pretty sure people do it all the time, but maybe you should take a break.”
Their classmates are filling up the bus, throwing them not-so-casual glances.
“Maybe I should, but I’m staying at yours anyway tonight.”
Shin takes off his sunglasses. “Why are you telling me this? You always do anyway.”
Saint touches his arm. “Shin, don’t be daft.”
A faint blush creeps up Shin’s face. It’s endearing.
Saint makes himself comfortable in his seat as his hand inches subtly towards Shin’s. The other boy looks at his hand and then at Saint’s face. Without breaking eye contact, Saint intertwines their fingers.
Shin blinks. “Is this how it is now?”
Saint shrugs. “If you want.”
Shin has no time to reply when someone shouts, “Guys, they’re holding hands! They’re official!”
It feels like they’re two insects under a magnifying lens. Saint resigns to his fate and tightens his grip on Shin’s hand instead of letting it go.
Shin searches his face. “Are we? Official?”
Saint’s heart is racing, almost painfully. “Now that my brain, heart and dick are aligned, I know what I want.”
“And that is?”
Someone kicks their seat from behind. “He wants to date you, Shin, come on.”
It’s Eve. Always meddling.
The bus is eerily silent. Everyone is waiting for Shin’s answer.
Shin has never looked this red. “Well, I do too,” he mumbles. “Want to date you, not myself.”
They almost go deaf because of the cheers and the shouts and the whistles. The teachers have to bring them to order before the bus can depart.
“Congrats to the first couple of Class 2!” Knot shouts, instigating a round of applause.
Saint and Shin look at each other, reading each other’s minds.
“Well, not really the first one,” someone at the back says.
Everyone turns to them.
“Shin, are they…?” Saint frowns. “Are they about to confess it was them keeping everyone awake those two nights and make everybody look like a fool?”
“I don’t think so. It would be way too embarrassing.”
First stands up, followed by Tew. They sway on their feet as the bus rocks on the road, so they hold each other’s hands to stabilise themselves.
Everybody gasps.
“Tew and I have been together for three months.”
Another round of gasps.
Eve pinches Saint’s arm from the seat behind. Saint begs her not to say anything as he silently admits that yes, Shin and he have been covering for them. Their friends have chosen to disclose their relationship, not their…mating habits, so they should leave it like that. Shin and he can take this burden.
As the chatter continues, everybody firing up their questions at Tew and First, Saint leans closer to Shin. “Did they just steal our moment? We helped them, and this is how they repay us?”
Shin laughs. “Do you have main character syndrome, Saint? Let them have their own coming out moment.”
“This was our coming out moment!”
“For them, we came out a long time ago, anyway.”
Saint puckers his lips. “Okay, maybe they’ll finally leave us alone and start teasing someone else now.”
Shin strokes his thumb over the back of Saint’s hand. “Exactly, look at the bright side.”
“But,” Saint turns to him, a pout on his lips. “Our story arc is way more interesting than theirs: friends turned enemies turned friends again turned lovers.”
Shin sighs and rests his head on Saint’s shoulders. “Right, it would make a great TV drama.”
“Yes! Who do you think should play our parts…?”
Shin snorts. “I don’t know, I will think about it while I sleep.”
Saint brushes his cheek over the top of Shin’s head. “Fine, I’ll think about a good director then.”