Work Text:
*
If you asked Minseok, he’d tell you he was pretty happy with his life.
He lived in a nice apartment downtown, nothing too extravagant, but it was neat and tidy, just how he liked it, and it was close in proximity to everything he needed. The money he made from his modeling job was good; he was able to live comfortably, buy and wear whatever clothes he wanted to wear. He enjoyed the many trips overseas his job brought him, often traveling around the world and exploring new cities in his off time. He didn’t really need, or want, for much else.
If you asked his best friend, Baekhyun, however, he would tell you a different story.
He’d tell you how Minseok had been coming home to an empty apartment for the past two years, after his breakup with Yixing. Minseok had been serious about him, even confiding in Baekhyun how he was thinking about proposing to his boyfriend at the time, before Yixing had chosen himself over the life they had built together, and moved back to his hometown in China.
Minseok had cried for weeks.
According to Baekhyun, it was high time for Minseok to ‘get out there’ and ‘meet someone new’. Minseok thought it was easy talk, coming from someone who married his high school sweetheart. Baekhyun had started dating Chanyeol when they were both teenagers, all awkward lanky bodies and pimpled faces, but somehow, through everything, they had made it last until now. Minseok was happy for them, he truly was, but he just couldn’t imagine anything of the sort for himself. After Yixing, he had never felt the need to start dating again. It just wasn’t for him.
Or so he said.
*
Putting his keys down on the little table next to the door, Minseok sighed as he pulled his heavy suitcase over the doorstep. His return flight had been delayed, adding three hours of waiting on top of the nine hours of flight time it took to get back to New York from Milan. He was exhausted, and wanted nothing more than to collapse face-first on his bed and sleep. Even though his agency always paid for first class, he was not flying coach, he hadn’t been able to get a wink of sleep on the plane, jetlag and non-stop turbulence not making for a good combination.
His apartment was quiet and he didn’t bother turning the lights on, the city lights filtering in through the curtainless floor-to-ceiling windows doing a sufficient enough job of lighting up his living room. Maybe it was the exhaustion, but tonight, he couldn't take comfort in the stillness like he usually did. Walking into the quiet dark, a strange feeling of loneliness washed over him, leaving him feeling completely and utterly alone.
He could have just ignored it, crawling into bed and going to sleep in the hopes tomorrow would be better, but something was eating at him. He didn’t want to be alone tonight, the darkness around him weighing him down, the silence seeping in through his skin down to his very bones.
Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he winced at the onslaught of bright light against his eyes that had just been adjusting to the dark. He opened his messaging app, where Baekhyun’s face was sitting at the top of the list right below some unread messages from his mother, and sent his best friend a quick message.
Shooomy❄️: are you free tonight?
Almost instantly, the little marks next to his message changed in colour, indicating Baekhyun had read his message. Minseok watched as Baekhyun started typing, the three small dots appearing and disappearing a few times, before his reply came.
BaekBaek🐶: yea why?? are you back in town yet?!?
Minseok laughed at the message, at the way his best friend texted exactly how he talked. Excited and impatient.
Shooomy❄️: can you come over?
Minseok waited for a reply, imagining the way Baekhyun would have called for Chanyeol from wherever he was to let him know, before Baekhyun started typing again.
BaekBaek🐶: ofc babe, be there in 30 😘
Thirty minutes turned into forty-five, until Minseok heard a knock on his door. Right on time. He knew from experience that Baekhyun never showed up on time, ever, and to take his estimates with a grain of salt. Minseok didn’t mind – it gave him time to unpack his suitcase, put on a load of laundry, have a quick shower and get changed before Baekhyun arrived.
When Minseok, now dressed in a pair of comfy black sweatpants and a loose fitting grey t-shirt, opened his door, he was met with a grinning Baekhyun who was holding a bottle of Minseok’s favorite Chardonnay in his hand.
“Welcome home babe!” His best friend greeted, wrapping Minseok up in a hug before stepping into his apartment, taking off his shoes in the doorway and walking in like it was his own place. It might as well have been, with how much time Baekhyun spent at Minseok’s apartment. He went into the kitchen, pulling out two glasses and filling them up with the wine he’d brought, handing one to Minseok before sitting down on one of the bar stools next to the kitchen counter.
“So, tell me all about your trip,” he started, an excited glitter in his eyes that made Minseok chuckle. “Did you bring me any presents?!”
A few hours and the entire bottle of Chardonnay later, Minseok and Baekhyun were lounging on the sofa. Baekhyun had been tapping away on his phone, giggling at something on the screen. Minseok would bet his special edition Dolce & Gabbana SMEG fridge that his friend was messaging Chanyeol, and he felt a little bad about pulling Baekhyun away from his husband tonight. Just when Minseok was about to tell Baekhyun to go back home to him, Baekhyun looked up from his phone.
“Minseokie, when are you going to tell me what’s on your mind?” He asked, the light from his phone illuminating his face.
“Huh?” Minseok asked dumbly, momentarily caught off guard. He hadn’t expected Baekhyun to catch on so quickly, he thought he had been pretty successful at masking the nagging feeling that was still lingering at the back of his mind. “What do you mean?”
Baekhyun sighed and laid his phone on the coffee table, just as it lit up with another message that he ignored, looking directly at Minseok instead.
“Don’t play dumb with me, Seokie, I know something’s wrong. I can tell. You’ve been extra smiley all evening and you only do that when you’re sad. So, what’s up?” He pressed his lips together, sharp eyes fixed on Minseok, demanding the truth. Not that Minseok would ever lie to his best friend, not when Baekhyun could see right through him.
“I just… didn’t want to be alone tonight?” Minseok answered honestly, his voice soft. A look of sympathy flashed across Baekhyun’s face. “Usually it’s fine, but, I don’t know, for some reason I just felt a little lonely tonight. That’s all, though.”
“Seokie…” Baekhyun sighed, scooting closer to his friend and wrapping him up in a hug. “It’s okay, I’m here. But… just hear me out, okay? Don’t you think it might be time? I know we’ve talked about this a lot of times and you say you don’t need someone new in your life, but it might be good for you? Maybe it’s worth trying? What’s the worst that could happen?”
Minseok thought about Baekhyun’s words for a while, relaxing into the way Baekhyun was running his fingers through his hair. The thought of meeting someone new honestly scared him, and he wasn’t keen on the idea. But he had to give it to him, Baekhyun had a point. The many nights alone were starting to get to him, even if he filled them with strangers he met on nights out every now and then. It just wasn’t the same as someone being there when you came home, having someone wait for your return, someone who cared whether you'd made it home safely. And maybe it was his exhaustion talking, but for the first time in a long time, in this moment Minseok found himself wanting just that.
“Maybe you’re right,” he confessed, sighing into Baekhyun’s shoulder. His answer was met with a soothing hand rubbing along his back.
They stayed like that for a while, just enjoying each other’s company, talking about everything and nothing, before Minseok noticed the time and made Baekhyun go home.
“Are you sure?” Baekhyun asked, glancing at Minseok. “I can stay the night if you want.”
“No, seriously, I’m fine. Go home to that dumb big-eared giant of yours,” Minseok retorted, causing Baekhyun to break out into laughter.
“I’m gonna tell him you called him that,” he giggled as he slipped his shoes on next to the door, one hand on the wall to keep himself steady, the wine not doing much for his sense of balance.
“Oh yeah? What’s he gonna do about it, fight me?” Minseok challenged, holding his fists up in front of his face, only causing Baekhyun to laugh harder. “Bye Baek, stay safe on your way home,” Minseok smiled at Baekhyun who gave him a smile and a wave in return, before leaving through the door.
In the quiet of his apartment, Minseok sat down on one of his bar stools, poured himself another drink and thought about Baekhyun’s words some more.
*
There. Done.
With slightly shaking hands, Minseok hit the “Save” button on his newly set-up profile.
The name “Xiumin” was displayed at the top, positioned prettily above some photos of himself. Some of them were selfies, some were candid photos taken by Baekhyun. Nothing too posed, and definitely nothing that would give his identity away directly. Since it wasn’t too uncommon for his face to grace the covers of high-end magazines, some caution was required, after all.
He had chosen his alias after some consideration, picking the prefix Xiu for its meaning of showiness and elegance, but still using part of his actual name as well, so he didn’t feel too much like he was pretending to be someone he wasn’t.
Pretty much instantly, his phone started buzzing with notifications. With some excitement, Minseok opened the first message, only for his face to fall in disgust at the crude words displayed on his screen. Blocking the asshole, Minseok groaned as a new message from another guy popped up, pretty much exactly the same in content as the previous one. This was exactly why he didn’t do this; what Baekhyun didn't understand, having been lucky enough to never have to step foot into the cesspool that was online “dating”. Everyone on here was only looking to get laid quickly, and they weren’t even being polite about it.
“Seriously, does no one have any modesty these days?” Minseok mumbled with a sigh as he was met with a close-up shot of what was clearly some dude’s dick. It was kind of short, and fat, and honestly pretty gross-looking, and Minseok put his phone face down on the kitchen counter before heading into the bathroom, eager to get on with his nighttime skincare routine and tuck himself into bed for some much needed sleep.
Curiosity ended up getting the better of him and, before getting into bed, Minseok padded over to his kitchen and grabbed his phone off the counter. Clearing the unread messages as he slipped off his robe and crawled into bed, he figured that instead of waiting for someone to contact him, he could do some looking around himself too.
Being met with sleazebag after sleazebag, no one even catching his interest in the slightest, Minseok was about to uninstall the damn app and forget it ever happened. Until he landed on one profile that seemed… different, somehow, catching his attention instantly.
“Chen”, the name above the profile read. It was a pretty name, and for some strange reason Minseok found himself drawn to it. The few photos the man had posted on his profile only added to that, and Minseok was disappointed to find there weren't any more. The man looked beautiful, in a way Minseok couldn't quite explain, with strikingly defined features that made him stand out in every single photo. Scrolling further down his profile, Minseok found out they were close in age; Chen was just two years younger than him. From the way he introduced himself to the world, Minseok could tell there was something different about him.
Gathering his courage, he hit the button to send Chen a message, staring at the empty chat on his screen for a while, willing his mind to come up with something that would come off interesting enough, but not too strongly or, god forbid, sleazy.
After much longer than Minseok would like to admit, he had finally crafted a message he deemed worthy, hitting send and putting his phone face down on the nightstand.
He'd deal with it in the morning.
*
Jongdae woke up with a pounding headache.
Groaning, he opened his eyes slowly, wincing at the onslaught of morning sunlight streaming in from the already-drawn curtains. Overlapping shouts from somewhere further inside the house reached his ears, answering the question of what had pulled him out of his restless dreams.
“To your room! Now!” He heard his wife’s voice call out, her harsh tone making him wince. Stomping footsteps pounded up the stairs, before a door slammed with such force that it caused ripples to form on the surface of the water sitting in the cup on his nightstand. After that, the house went back to being quiet, but Jongdae knew he had no chance of going back to sleep after this; even if he wasn’t wide awake, his wife would soon barge into their bedroom and demand he’d stop being so lazy and get his ass up already.
Picking up his phone, which read 07:03 AM, Jongdae was surprised to see a notification from an app he didn’t instantly recognize. Clicking on the message, his stomach dropped when he realized what he was looking at.
Oh.
Closing the app as soon as he had opened it, Jongdae rubbed his temples in an attempt to soothe his throbbing head. He had completely forgotten about the online dating profile he’d set up for himself in a drunken stupor a few weeks ago. Nothing had come from it, after all, and Jongdae had honestly forgotten about the fact the app was even installed on his phone.
But suddenly, after a few weeks of nothing, someone had actually reached out to him.
Curiosity nagged at Jongdae, his thumb hovering over the button to open the app. He’d gotten a quick look at the face of the man who had sent him a message and Jongdae would be lying if he said he hadn’t looked cute. From a glance, the message didn't seem crude or sleazy, either, at the very least he wasn’t greeted by a dick pic first thing in the morning.
The sound of another pair of footsteps leading up the stairs broke him out of his daze, however, and he quickly locked his phone and shoved it under his pillow.
“Dae—” his wife started, pushing through the door. “Oh, you're awake already? Why haven't you come down yet?” she asked, surprised to find Jongdae awake as if she wasn’t shouting loud enough to wake up the neighbors just moments ago.
Feeling like he just got caught doing something he shouldn’t, Jongdae felt his face heat up. “O-oh, I only just woke up, I’m coming down now,” he stammered as he climbed out of bed, hoping she didn’t notice the tremble in his voice.
If she did, she chose not to comment on it, shooting him one last look before turning around and heading back down the stairs. Only when she made it all the way down did Jongdae feel like he could breathe again, fishing out his phone from under his pillow and taking it with him into the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind him.
*
That morning, Minseok awoke with a giddy feeling. The man from the previous night was still on his mind, and Minseok was both excited and oddly nervous at the thought of checking his phone.
Scrolling through his notifications, he saw a few unread messages from Baekhyun, another few from his mother – he really should call her soon – some work e-mails, and a bunch of new messages on the app he installed last night. Looking through them, he felt disappointment take hold when he cleared all of them, but hadn’t come across any messages from Chen. Hoping he might have accidentally cleared the message, he pulled up the chat he’d started with the other man last night, only for his disappointment to come back tenfold when he found that wasn’t the case. Chen hadn’t replied and, to make matters worse, had actually left him on read.
“All that work for nothing…” Minseok mumbled at his phone, bottom lip sticking out in a pout. His carefully constructed message and cute selfie hadn’t been enough, after all, and he couldn’t help but feel his ego take a small blow from it, before catching himself. Was he really going to let himself get worked up over some guy he didn’t even know? Surely, he knew better than that.
What he needed, Minseok decided, was some fresh air. He always loved working out and going for a run was one of his favorite forms of exercise – there was just nothing better than being outside, breathing in fresh air and feeling the sunlight on his skin, while letting his legs carry him as far as he could go. It was a beautiful day out too; sunny, and the temperatures were starting to drop, with autumn just around the corner, coloring the leaves on the trees in beautiful shades of orange and red.
As he changed into his running gear, Minseok kept finding his mind drifting back to dark brown eyes and a certain dimpled smile. Shaking his head in an attempt to dispel the thoughts, Minseok mumbled to himself.
“Stop it, Minseok. This isn’t like you,” he berated as he pulled on his shoes, zipping his phone up into his shorts pocket without giving in to the temptation of looking at it again. He just needed to clear his head, that was all. A good run would fix him right up.
An hour later, Minseok was out of breath as he climbed the steps leading back up to his apartment. Wiping the sweat off his brow, he fished around in his pocket for his keys. He had been right – the run had cleared most of the worries from his mind, and he felt a lot better for it.
What he needed now, though, was a shower, pushing his way through the door and toeing off his shoes in the entryway. He pulled his phone out of his shorts pocket, looking at it for the first time in over an hour, and nearly dropped it on the tiles under his feet when he saw the notification on the screen.
Chen: (1) unread message, it read.
*
In the safety of the bathroom, Jongdae pulled his phone out of his pocket with shaking fingers. As his thumb hovered over the app icon, his heart was thumping inside his chest.
“It’s just a message,” he said to himself, softly. “It doesn’t mean anything. You’re just curious. There’s nothing wrong with that. Just a look can’t hurt.”
Downstairs, he heard the tv being switched on, the sounds of Gayeon’s favorite cartoon playing over the speakers snapping him back to his senses. No, he thought to himself, I shouldn’t. I should just delete this stupid app. I never should have downloaded it in the first place, anyway.
He held his thumb down on the icon until it started to wiggle, the ‘Delete’ button popping up. So close. He just had to press it, and everything would be undone. He could go back to normal, to pretending like everything was fine, just like he always did. A picture perfect life, on the outside at least. It would only take one more click.
But he couldn’t.
Instead, he opened Xiumin’s message.
Immediately, he was greeted by a picture of Xiumin’s face. He had been right earlier – the man was cute, smiling prettily at the camera, one eye closed in a wink as he held up his fingers in an upside-down V above his head resembling cat ears.
Cute, Jongdae thought to himself, his face heating up slightly as he read the message attached. It stirred curiosity inside him and Jongdae found himself wanting to know more about this Xiumin, his fingers already moving to type a reply before he caught himself again.
“What are you doing,” he muttered to himself, shaking his head at his reflection in the bathroom mirror as he closed the app and shoved his phone back in his pocket. He had to get ready for work, this was not the time to get distracted.
Except, distracted was all that Jongdae was. As he got ready for work, as he sat at his kitchen table having breakfast while Gayeon watched her favorite cartoon, as his wife called Jihoon down from his room to get his backpack ready for school. Even as he dropped his kids off at school on the way to the office, he couldn't get the image of a certain catlike man out of his head.
Pulling into his reserved parking space, Jongdae sat in his car for a few minutes. He had a busy day at work ahead. It simply wouldn’t do for his thoughts to be drifting like this all day.
Using his focus on work as an excuse, he reached for his phone again, unplugging it from the center console, and typed out the reply he had been crafting in his head during the entire drive over.
*
Minseok’s heart was pounding inside his chest as he read Chen’s reply over and over. The other man texted in an endearing way, clearly not shy about using emojis and Minseok was dying to find out more about him. Chen had also responded to Minseok’s selfie by sending a photo of himself, seemingly taken from inside his car, and Minseok would be lying if the luxury interior and the glimpse of the dark blue freshly pressed Armani suit didn't do anything for him.
Minseok shot him another reply, not overthinking this one as much as he did before, and jumped into the shower to get on with his day. Even though today was technically his day off, there was still enough he needed to do. His house needed cleaning, more laundry was to be done and he really should give his mother a call.
It wasn’t until that evening that Minseok finally had some time for himself again. He’d ended up inviting his mother over for dinner, cooking an elaborate meal for her and catching up over a bottle of wine.
When he finished tidying up his kitchen, the countertop finally sparkly clean again, he plopped down on the sofa, turning on the tv for some background noise as he pulled out his phone. Giddy excitement ran through him as he saw Chen had replied, again, and Minseok didn’t hesitate to write up his own reply.
Almost instantly, a small speech bubble popped up, indicating Chen was typing, and maybe it was the wine, but Minseok almost kicked his feet in excitement, unable to hide the smile on his face as he looked at his phone screen expectantly, waiting for the message to pop up.
Before Minseok realized it, hours had passed. He’d been chatting with Chen the entire time, and the evening had simply flown by. He found out a lot about the other man; apparently, he worked as an accountant at a major firm, lived in a quiet residential area a little out of the city center, knew how to play the piano, loved singing, disliked exercise – not hesitating to voice his disgust at finding out Minseok went out running for fun, and that he knew all the lines to Frozen. That last bit in particular made Minseok exclaim in glee, happy to find someone besides his four-year old niece who understood his deeply rooted adoration for the adventures of Elsa and Olaf.
That night, as he crawled into bed, wrapping himself up in layer upon layer of thick covers, Minseok found himself thinking that maybe Baekhyun had been right after all. Maybe it was time to open up a little, to give this Chen a chance.
Like Baekhyun had said, what was the worst that could happen?
*
Over the course of the next few weeks, talking to Chen had become a regular occurrence for Minseok. Seeing Chen’s messages pop up on his screen had quickly grown out to be the highlight of his day, the thought of talking to Chen at the end of the day giving him the strength he needed to pull through particularly exhausting days at work.
Even Baekhyun had started to take notice, his best friend eyeing Minseok suspiciously over brunch. They were tucked into a booth at their favorite restaurant that they had been faithfully visiting over the past few months. They were originally drawn to this place for the glitzy décor, its aesthetic taking inspiration from the roaring twenties with its large bar and golden accents, and ended up sticking around for the amazing food and even better cocktails.
“What’s got you in such a good mood lately, Minseokie?” Baekhyun inquired, one eyebrow raised as he took a sip of his Bloody Mary, an absolutely vile concoction if you asked Minseok, but for some inexplicable reason it was Baekhyun’s favorite. Then again, Minseok did sometimes wonder if Baekhyun was dropped on his head one too many times when he was a baby.
Minseok took a sip of his own Mimosa, swirling the glass around between his fingers before replying.
“I’ve been… talking to someone,” he said, blaming the alcohol for the way his cheeks heated up as he spoke.
“Oh?” Baekhyun questioned, his voice rising in pitch as he put his glass down and leaned forward in his seat. “Since when? What’s his name? Is he hot?” Baekhyun immediately sent a barrage of questions his way, making Minseok laugh softly as he pulled out his phone, showing Baekhyun a photo of Chen.
“You tell me.”
Baekhyun whistled through his teeth, causing Minseok to laugh again.
“Damn, where’d you find a man like that?” he asked, impressed as he swiped through the photos on Minseok’s phone. “Those are hard to find, especially single. What’s the catch? Is he broke? Does he still live with his parents? Does he have a sick step-aunt to care for?”
“None of the sort,” Minseok chuckled as he took his phone back from Baekhyun. “I guess I just got lucky? I mean, he's really nice, and we get on really well. I actually want to ask him out on a date soon,” he confessed shyly, causing Baekhyun to smile at him in return.
“I’m happy for you, Seokie. I really am. I hope it works out for you,” Baekhyun said earnestly, downing the remainder of his drink before digging into his toast.
“Thanks, Baek, I hope so too,” Minseok admitted, trying to ignore the fuzzy feeling that settled in his stomach at the mere thought of Chen.
*
Minseok met Chen at a restaurant Chen suggested, about thirty minutes away by subway from his apartment. As he walked through the doors, he was glad he’d done his research on the place and came dressed accordingly – he would have hated to show up underdressed to a place that exuded such luxury. Not that the places Minseok frequented, especially when he was away on business, weren't fancy, but this restaurant was on another level entirely.
It was also very private, Minseok thought as a waiter led him through the restaurant to one of the individual rooms situated along the back. He didn’t mind it, though – considering his modeling career and all, he preferred not to go somewhere where too many people might recognize him, especially for a first date.
Stepping in through the door the waiter slid open for him, Minseok momentarily forgot how to breathe as his eyes met Chen’s, who got up from his chair to greet him, wearing a dazzling smile on his face.
Even though the other man had looked great in his photos, Minseok thought they didn't do him justice at all. Seeing Chen in real life was something Minseok wasn’t prepared for in the slightest, and he jumped at the way Chen was suddenly right in front of him, holding out his hand for Minseok to shake.
“It’s nice to finally meet you, Xiumin,” he said, and Minseok couldn’t help but stare at the small dimple that appeared in his cheek when Chen smiled at him.
“Minseok,” Minseok blurted out as he took Chen’s hand. It was so soft.
“Huh?” Chen questioned, clearly caught off-guard by Minseok’s reply, and Minseok stammered, mentally slapping himself out of the daze he was in.
“My name,” he clarified, “it’s Minseok. Kim Minseok. Not Xiumin. Sorry, I— I should have probably mentioned this earlier,” he added with a soft laugh. “I just didn’t wanna use my real name on that app.”
Understanding flashed across Chen’s face at Minseok’s explanation.
“Ah, don't worry about it,” he said with a small wave of his hand, “Minseok.”
Scrambling to change the subject in the hopes Chen hadn’t noticed the way his cheeks flushed pink at the mention of his name, Minseok pointed out the first thing that came to mind.
“This place seems… nice,” he commented, gesturing awkwardly at the room around them. The waiter had closed the door on his way out the room earlier, leaving them alone together. “It’s perfect actually,” he added, smiling.
“I’m glad you like it,” Chen replied, easily returning his smile as he pulled out a chair for Minseok to sit on, and Minseok felt his cheeks heat up again at the gesture. How chivalrous, he thought.
“I wasn’t sure if you would, but I thought because of your job and all,” he trailed off and only then did Minseok realize he was still talking, momentarily distracted (again) by how pretty Chen looked when he smiled, his gut doing kickflips in response.
“Oh no, it's great, really. Thank you, Chen,” he said honestly.
Sitting down on the chair opposite from him, Chen smiled at him again.
“So, Minseok, how was your day?”
They fell into easy conversation after that, the ice around them melting quickly as Minseok started recounting the events of his day. It had been a disaster and a half; first, the clothes he was supposed to be fitting had been ordered in the wrong size, stressing out the poor stylist so badly she ended up poking Minseok in the leg with a safety pin trying to get the garments to fit correctly. Then, the coffee place had messed up his usual order, adding regular milk to his coffee instead of almond milk. Luckily, Minseok had found out quickly enough, before any real harm was done, but he didn’t have enough time to get a new one made, so he had to run to his next schedule without his beloved coffee, which had not been good for his mood for the remainder of the afternoon.
Chen just laughed in response, causing Minseok to stick out his lower lip.
“Hey, no fair,” he pouted, “I’m here telling you about my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, and you’re laughing at me!”
“Sorry, sorry,” Chen replied, still laughing softly. “You just looked so cute that I couldn't help it,”
Minseok opened his mouth to reply, before snapping it shut again, his cheeks reddening as he mentally scolded himself. What was he, a teenager? He was way too old to get so worked up over something so small, but for some reason, Chen just seemed to have that effect on him.
Luckily for Minseok, they were interrupted by the waiter coming to bring the wine Chen had ordered before Minseok had arrived.
“I hope you’re okay with Shiraz?” Chen asked as Minseok swirled the liquid around in his glass, bringing it up to his lips for a taste. It was delicious, one of the best wines Minseok had tasted in a long time – him and Baekhyun usually weren’t too picky – and he had to physically stop himself from moaning at the taste of the red liquid on his tongue. Instead, he just nodded to the waiter, and turned to Chen.
“It’s lovely. You have great taste.”
After the waiter filled up their glasses, Chen ordered food for the both of them. Minseok had left it up to him to decide, telling Chen he was fine with anything, earning them a nod of approval from the waiter before he disappeared behind the sliding door once again.
Just like talking to Chen online had done, talking to Chen in real life made time fly by, and before Minseok realized it, dinner had come and gone, and they were halfway through their second bottle of Shiraz. When Minseok leaned back in his chair, satisfied from a good meal, cheeks slightly rosy from the wine, and loosened his tie a little, he didn’t miss the shift in Chen’s eyes. He was looking right at Minseok, his dark eyes raking over the small patch of skin near Minseok’s neck, and Minseok suddenly found it hard to breathe in the small room. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could stay there, in Chen’s company, without doing something that would likely get them both blacklisted from the place forever.
As if on cue, the sliding door opened, revealing the waiter who wished to know if there was anything else they needed. I could think of a thing or two, Minseok thought to himself, at the same time that Chen asked for the bill. Chivalrous to the very end, Chen insisted on paying the bill, even though Minseok repeatedly offered to pay instead.
“You can get the bill next time,” he said with a wink and Minseok’s stomach was doing flips at the promise of a next time.
When they were left alone again, Chen helped Minseok slip on his coat. His fingers trailed along Minseok’s arm as he did and Minseok felt his breath hitch as they stood facing each other. They were closer than they had been all evening, and even from this close, Chen was gorgeous. Minseok found his eyes drifting to the many beauty marks littered across the other man’s face, from his cheeks to his eyebrows and even his nose. His lashes were long and dark and Minseok was close enough to be able to count them if he so desired.
He felt the way Chen’s fingers continued their trail down his arm, only stopping when they reached his hand, intertwining their fingers, and Chen’s face was so close to his own now that Minseok could feel his breath against his lips.
Chen’s other hand came up to rest under Minseok’s chin, and Minseok felt his eyes slipping shut, his lips parting on instinct.
At the first press of soft, warm lips against his own, Minseok felt the feelings that had been threatening to spill all evening rise to the surface at once, making him feel like he was floating. His head was spinning as Chen’s mouth moved against his own, soft yet demanding, taking the lead easily, and Minseok could only give in.
A small whine escaped him as Chen kissed him deeper, slipping his tongue into Minseok’s mouth, the once sweet kiss turning hungrier as Chen explored his mouth with his tongue and Minseok felt his knees turn to jelly.
When they finally broke apart, they were both slightly out of breath, panting into each other’s mouths, and Minseok looked into Chen’s dark eyes.
“Your place or mine?”
*
They never even made it to Minseok’s apartment.
At Minseok’s question, Chen had suggested a third option; going to a nearby hotel, arguing that both their places were too far away. Minseok didn’t have it in him to care as Chen led him out of the restaurant and into a taxi; the sooner he could get Chen on him, the better.
Chen told the driver the address and Minseok just watched him, sinking back in his seat as his heart pounded frantically inside his chest. This wasn’t his first time going home with someone he’d technically just met, far from it, but something about doing this with Chen felt different. It was more loaded, somehow, and Minseok pushed the thoughts from his mind before he could start to think about what that meant.
The drive was short, thankfully, and they stopped in front of a beautiful building, with large marble pillars and a revolving door with doormen dressed sharply in black suits.
Chen handled checking in while Minseok looked around him, momentarily getting lost in the glamour of the place. Before long, Chen was back in front of him, leading him to the direction of the elevator with a soft touch of his hand to the small of Minseok’s back.
As soon as the elevator doors slipped closed, finally leaving them alone again, Chen was on him again, pressing Minseok into the wall as he kissed him hungrily. When he pulled away Minseok whined, already missing the taste of Chen on his tongue. At Chen’s amused chuckle, he opened his eyes – Minseok wasn’t sure when he’d closed them – to find the doors had opened again to what he could only guess was their floor.
“We’re here,” Chen said, reaching for Minseok’s hand and leading him down the corridor.
Minseok’s heart was pounding as he followed behind Chen, nervous excitement making his chest flutter.
The moment Minseok stepped through the door, he was being pressed into it, with Chen’s lips all over him, leaving kisses trailing along his jaw, down his neck, landing on the patch of exposed skin where his neck met his shoulder, making him shiver. Chen’s hands were roaming over his body, feeling, exploring, and Minseok couldn’t help but take pride in the appreciative gasp that left Chen’s lips when Minseok flexed his muscles under the touch.
“Kiss me again,” Minseok whispered and Chen obliged him, crashing their lips together in a kiss that exuded such deep need that it made Minseok’s head spin. He didn’t think he’d ever been wanted so badly – or that he had ever wanted someone else so badly before, not even with any of his previous lovers.
When Chen slotted his leg in between Minseok’s own, the pressure against his quickly hardening dick made him break the kiss, a moan spilling from his lips as he threw his head back against the door in bliss. Chen watched him with darkened eyes as he pushed down harder, increasing the pressure, drawing another moan from Minseok.
“God, Minseok, you have no idea what you do to me,” Chen whispered lowly, the sound of his voice sending shivers up Minseok’s spine, before capturing his lips in another kiss. This one was less rushed, less desperate, but no less mind-blowing, and Minseok would have been content to have continued kissing Chen if not for the fact he was about to explode, especially considering the way Chen was still rubbing his thigh against his dick.
“Chen,” Minseok panted, struggling to find the words, “I—“
Minseok’s next words were cut off by Chen dropping down in front of him, knees hitting the soft carpeted floor as his slim hands worked on undoing Minseok’s pants. He pushed them down, leaving Minseok in just his boxers and his unbuttoned dress shirt, which Chen’s roaming hands had undone earlier.
Minseok watched in both parts curiosity and arousal as Chen palmed him through his underwear, earning him a low hiss from Minseok.
“Stop teasing,” he hissed out, squeezing his eyes shut, the sensations quickly becoming too much to bear as his head hit the door behind him once again. Chen’s touch felt so good, but it was also not enough, not even close, and it was close to driving Minseok insane.
Thankfully for Minseok’s sanity, Chen decided to take mercy on him, and the next thing Minseok felt was a slight feeling of coldness as Chen pulled his boxers down, freeing his erection. The moment Chen put his hands on him, everything else was quickly forgotten, Minseok not registering anything else except the way Chen’s hand felt, wrapped around his dick, pumping him slowly.
When he felt soft, warm lips wrap around the tip of his dick, Minseok threw his head back so hard it collided with the door behind him with a thud, but he didn’t even feel the pain. All he could think about was how wonderful Chen’s lips felt on his dick, the way he was slowly taking him in, inch by inch, sinking further into his warm mouth.
Minseok’s hand came to rest in Chen’s hair, fingers tangling in those soft dark brown locks, and Chen started bobbing his head and sucking, drawing a string of moans from Minseok’s lips.
“Ah, oh my god, Chen– ah, I—“ he panted helplessly, completely lost in the overwhelming pleasure. Only when Minseok tightened his grip on Chen’s hair in warning did he finally pull off, leaving Minseok gasping, his chest heaving as he tried to collect himself.
“To the bed,” Chen said and it wasn’t a request, but a demand, and Minseok could only nod in agreement as he followed, pulling off the pants that had fallen down to his ankles, quickly folding them up and leaving them next to the door.
Next to the bed, Chen was undressing himself, and Minseok could only stare dumbly at the sight of Chen taking off his suit jacket, unbuttoning his dress shirt and slipping it off his shoulders. He was gorgeous; well-built, not as muscular as Minseok was but in a more lean way, with a thin waist that made Minseok want to run his hands along it. His skin was like honey; it was perfectly bronzed and glowing and beautiful.
Minseok slipped off his own button-up – it wasn’t doing much to cover him up anymore, anyway – and laid down on his back, looking up at Chen who knelt down onto the bed, hovering over him. They brought their lips together for another kiss, Minseok moaning into it as he felt Chen spread his legs with his knee. When he felt one of Chen’s fingers softly rubbing along his entrance, Minseok broke the kiss.
“Wait,” he panted, “my back pocket. In my wallet. There’s lube and— a condom,” he managed to say, a soft blush spreading across his face at admitting he had come prepared, just in case. Minseok watched the way Chen’s eyes darkened before he got up, making his way over to the door where Minseok’s pants were folded up, and pulled out the single-use lube packet and condom, before coming back to the bed.
Tearing open the packet of lube, Chen spread it over his fingers, making sure to cover the digits properly, warming the liquid up between his fingers before positioning himself back over Minseok, kissing him softly at the same time Minseok felt something wet at his entrance.
“Relax, Minseok,” Chen whispered before kissing him again, deeply, and Minseok lost himself in the taste of Chen on his tongue. Chen pushed his finger in, slowly, the lube easing the slide, causing Minseok to gasp. When he was all the way in, Chen slowly pulled out again just a little, moving his finger in and out of Minseok. Once Minseok was sufficiently accustomed to the intrusion, Chen added another finger, kissing Minseok through the slight discomfort as he worked him open, Minseok melting into the kiss as Chen rubbed his fingers along his walls, searching.
When Minseok suddenly gasped, his back arching off the bed, Chen knew he had found what he had been looking for. Without giving Minseok time to breathe, he jabbed his fingers into that same spot repeatedly, drawing a string of moans from Minseok, his eyes squeezed shut in pleasure.
“Fuck, I- ah, Chen,” he panted in between moans, the pleasure overwhelming, the jabs of Chen’s fingers to his prostate feeling like sparks of electricity all over his body. If Chen wasn’t going to fuck him soon, he’d come like this, and even though the prospect of that would sound good to Minseok any other day, right now what he needed was Chen’s dick inside of him. Desperately.
“Please,” he begged, “I need you, ah— Chen,”
Thankfully, Chen listened to him, because Minseok honestly wasn’t sure just how much of that he could have taken. As he slid his fingers out, Minseok let out a soft whimper, suddenly feeling very empty, but he knew it wouldn’t last long. He watched as Chen unbuttoned his dress pants, sliding them down together with his boxers in one go, freeing his dick which stood hard and proud.
The sight of it, just as beautifully bronzed as the rest of Chen’s body, made Minseok’s mouth water, and he couldn’t wait to get his hands and mouth on it next time. But right now, he needed it inside of him, or he thought he might die.
Chen ripped open the condom packet and rolled it on, giving himself a few tugs once it was on, before positioning himself above Minseok on the bed again, lining himself up with his entrance.
Soft, dark brown eyes met Minseok’s, questioning.
“Is this okay?” He asked and Minseok couldn’t help but huff out a breathless laugh.
“Yes, Chen, please,” he replied, and then, he gasped at the feeling of the tip of Chen’s dick pushing against him.
Slowly, little by little, Chen pushed inside, giving Minseok time to adjust before fully bottoming out, hips flush against Minseok’s ass and Minseok was breathing heavily, feeling so full.
“Tell me when it’s okay,” Chen whispered against Minseok’s cheek, nuzzling along it and pressing soft kisses to his jaw as Minseok breathed through it. After a few more moments, Minseok nodded, and Chen started moving. Slowly at first, he pulled out before sliding back in, gradually picking up the pace and Minseok gasped, the drag of Chen’s dick against his walls feeling so good inside of him.
Grabbing hold of Minseok’s thigh, Chen adjusted their positions slightly, allowing him to sink in deeper and Minseok moaned loudly as Chen’s dick brushed against his prostate, shooting hot pleasure all through his body. Chen picked up the pace after that, hooking Minseok’s leg over his shoulder and thrusting into that same spot repeatedly, making Minseok see sounds, white noise behind his eyelids as slews of whimpers, pleas and moans spilt from his lips. He had no idea what he was saying, what he was asking for, all he knew was that Chen was making him feel so good, fucking him so perfectly, and that he wasn’t able to take much more of this.
When Chen hooked Minseok’s other thigh over his shoulder and wrapped his hand around Minseok’s dick, Minseok almost lost it. The pleasure that had been building was suddenly overwhelming, crashing over Minseok like a tidal wave, and with another sharp thrust against his prostate, Minseok came with a scream of Chen’s name. He clenched down on Chen’s dick hard as Chen fucked him through his orgasm, Chen’s own hips stuttering as his pace faltered and he buried himself deep in Minseok one last time, spilling his release into the condom with a groan.
They were quiet for a little while as they caught their breaths, the only sounds inside the room being their labored breathing.
Minseok was the first to break the silence, his head falling back onto the pillows.
“Wow,” he laughed breathlessly, “that was—“
“Amazing? I know, thanks,” Chen chuckled smugly as he slid out of Minseok, earning him a playful smack on the arm. “Hey!” he laughed in protest as he slipped off the condom, tying it off and throwing it into the trash.
“Ugh, I need a shower now,” Minseok groaned as he sat up, still laughing softly. “Wanna join me?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and Chen responded by pressing another kiss to his lips.
“You bet,” he smirked when he pulled away, getting up from the bed and disappearing into the spacious ensuite bathroom. “You coming, or what?” He shouted over the sound of the shower, and Minseok quickly got up to join him, kissing him as soon as the warm water hit his skin.
Under the hot spray of the shower, they fell into each other again, the sound of the water crashing around them drowning out the sound of Minseok’s moans as Chen pushed him up against the wall, his hand wrapped around Minseok’s dick while Minseok was pumping Chen’s.
As he reached his second orgasm of the night, a feeling of pure bliss washed over Minseok, and he found himself thinking that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t mind it if Chen stuck around.
*
The next morning, Minseok woke up to find Chen’s side of the hotel bed empty and cold.
Chen had left him a note, saying he had to leave because he had to get to work early, and that he was sorry. Minseok was a little sad, but understood, because it wasn’t like either of them had planned to spend the night at a hotel and life went on regardless of what had happened between them. Even though Chen had written that Minseok could stay in as long as he’d liked, Minseok had his own commitments to attend to, although thankfully his first appointment wasn’t until the afternoon.
Getting up, he dialed Baekhyun’s number, putting his best friend on speakerphone as he walked into the bathroom to wash his face. He ended up talking Baekhyun through everything that had happened, Baekhyun’s scandalized shouts echoing off the tiled bathroom walls.
“Minseokie! You ho!” he’d exclaimed in glee when Minseok told him about the way Chen had been all over him last night.
When Minseok finally hung up, washed up and ready to head home, he noticed he had a message from Chen.
Chen: Good morning beauty 🩷
Chen: Did you sleep well? 😉✨️
Smiling at his phone, Minseok allowed himself to bask in the jittery feeling for a little while. Last night hadn’t been a dream, it had been very much real, and he couldn’t believe his luck. Chen made him so happy, and Minseok found himself already looking forward to their next meeting as he typed his reply, new feelings blossoming inside his chest, warming him up and making him feel fuzzy. He didn't want to put a name to it, not yet, but Minseok knew he hadn’t felt this way in a long time, and even though it was scary, it also just felt so right.
The next few months passed by in a similar fashion. Minseok would meet up with Chen, they would have dinner together, before heading off somewhere they could finally sink into each other. They often stayed at hotels, but sometimes, Minseok took Chen back to his place. Chen on the other hand never once took Minseok back to his, arguing that he lived too far outside of the city for it to be worth it, and Minseok didn’t question him when Chen had him bent over his kitchen table, or pressed up against the shower wall, or when they were tangled up in Minseok’s bedsheets. But every single time, Chen would be gone by the time Minseok woke up in the morning.
Minseok wasn’t complaining, he was thankful for whatever moments of Chen’s time he was given, with the both of them juggling busy careers. According to Chen, he hadn’t really been looking to date; he’d actually forgotten about his profile when Minseok found him. So, Minseok thought, it was probably just the timing that wasn’t ideal. It would pass.
But he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.
“It’s weird,” Baekhyun had commented in between mouthfuls of soup, and Chanyeol nodded in agreement next to him as he snatched the last dumpling off Baekhyun’s plate when his husband wasn’t looking. The three of them had met up to catch up over hot pot; between Minseok’s busy job and meeting up with Chen whenever he got the chance, they hadn’t had much time to hang out lately.
“Why does he not want to meet you in public?” Baekhyun continued, fixing his sharp gaze on Minseok. “What does he have to hide?”
Minseok looked at the table. He would have been lying if he said the same thoughts didn't occupy his mind every now and then, but he always pushed them back down. He told himself he was probably thinking too much into it. Him and Chen hadn’t exactly labeled what they had, anyway, and Minseok was a bit hesitant to bring it up, scared of pushing the other man away. But hearing Baekhyun confirm his worries made him reconsider.
“Is it?” Minseok tried, uncertainly. “I mean, he's very busy and he doesn't really get days off.”
“Bullshit,” Baekhyun retorted. “Everyone gets a day off every now and then. And what’s with all the sneaking around? You've never been to his place, right? Do you even know where he lives?”
When Minseok didn’t respond, Baekhyun shot him a sympathetic smile.
“Look, Min, don't be too upset. It might be as you say. Maybe he really is that busy. But all I'm saying is please be careful. Something about this feels weird to me.”
Minseok sighed. He knew that what Baekhyun was saying was true. It was weird, no matter how hard he’d tried to make himself believe it wasn’t.
“Just talk to him, okay?” Baekhyun said, reaching over the table to squeeze Minseok’s hand in reassurance.
“I'll try,” Minseok said softly.
*
That weekend, Minseok was out shopping at the luxury department store on the other side of town. His mother’s birthday was coming up soon, and he wanted to get her something special.
He was browsing the women’s jewelry section, when all of a sudden, he spotted Chen. His heartbeat kicked up at the sight of him, dressed in a soft white turtleneck sweater and dark brown dress pants, his long dark hair tucked behind his ears. Minseok couldn’t believe how beautiful he looked, how ethereal, it was like he was on a completely different level from the other shoppers around them.
“Chen! Hi! Fancy seeing you here,” Minseok said as he walked up to Chen, greeting him with a smile on his face.
To Minseok’s surprise, Chen didn’t look happy to see him. On the contrary, Chen looked stricken, his face a deathly pale shade of white, as if he’d seen a ghost.
Minseok was about to open his mouth to ask Chen what was wrong, when—
“Daddy! Who are you talking to?”
A young girl came running up to Chen, wrapping her arm around his leg. She was wearing a cute little pink dress, her dark brown hair styled in twin pigtails, and she was clutching a rabbit doll to her chest.
A woman walked towards them from the same direction the little girl had come from, holding hands with a young boy. She was beautiful; long, sleek black hair, wearing a pastel blue tweed suit. Chanel, Minseok noted. Her long, slender legs were accentuated by her white heels, clicking against the tiled floor until she came to a halt next to Chen.
“Jongdae, honey, who’s this?” she asked, her tone inquisitive, eyeing Minseok up and down with sharp eyes.
“Daddy?” The little girl repeated when Chen didn’t respond to either of their questions, snapping him out of his daze.
He cleared his throat as he looked down at her.
“Uhm. This is Minseok. He’s- he’s a friend from daddy’s work.”
“Oh,” the little girl giggled. “He’s pretty.”
Minseok felt like he was going to be sick when the little girl turned to look at him, a wide smile on her cute face, and introduced herself.
“Hi pretty man! My name is Gayeon!”
It took everything in Minseok to smile politely back at her, vaguely registering the way Chen was introducing him to the rest of his family. His wife. His son. Minseok couldn't remember their names, white noise screeching in his head, all sounds fading into the background, as he numbly shook the woman’s extended hand. She was wearing a ring on her left ring finger, a pretty diamond set against a thin golden band. Minseok’s eyes drifted to Chen’s hands and he felt his stomach churn when he saw that same golden band adorning Chen’s ring finger.
Mumbling something about needing to water his plants, Minseok finally excused himself from them, walking out of the store as quickly as possible without drawing attention to himself. When he finally made it outside, he got into the first taxi that he saw, only barely present in his body as he gave the driver directions to Baekhyun’s address.
*
Baekhyun had been absolutely livid.
“What the fuck?!” he screeched, pacing around his living room, waving his arms around wildly. “Let’s go see him right now, what a fucking asshole, shit, I can’t believe this. A family?! I need to teach that motherfucker a lesson, no one messes with my best friend like that, fuck, what the hell?”
Minseok just stared at the wall in front of him, feeling weirdly numb to it all. His mind was spinning, the smile on the little girl’s face as she introduced himself to her stuck in his mind. Chen’s stricken expression. Honey. Jongdae.
Suddenly feeling a wave of nausea hitting him, Minseok bolted to the bathroom, spilling the contents of his stomach into Baekhyun’s toilet as Baekhyun rushed in behind him, rubbing his hand over Minseok’s back soothingly.
“There there,” he said softly, “let it all out, Minseokie,”
Minseok curled in on himself as he sat on the bathroom floor, suddenly feeling extremely exhausted. When Baekhyun wrapped him up in a hug, Minseok couldn't fight the tears anymore. Like a cracked dam finally breaking, all the feelings he had been holding back since seeing Chen came spilling out all at once. Broken sobs wracked his body, his chest heaving as he cried harder in Baekhyun’s arms than he had done in years, or possibly ever.
Baekhyun just held Minseok through it, rubbing his hair and his back and whispering to him softly. After what felt like hours, his sobs finally started to slow down, only the occasional hiccup leaving him as he sniffled into Baekhyun’s shoulder.
“Thanks,” Minseok mumbled, his voice muffled by Baekhyun’s sweater. He pulled back and looked at Baekhyun, eyes red and puffy, his face wet from tears and Baekhyun almost cried himself at the sight.
“Of course,” Baekhyun replied, wiping a stray tear from Minseok’s cheek. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, cautiously.
Minseok was quiet for a while, thinking. Finally, he met Baekhyun’s eyes.
“I think I’m in love with him,” he confessed, so quietly Baekhyun almost missed it.
It was the truth. Minseok had been trying to avoid thinking about his feelings for the past few months, trying to trick himself into believing he was fine with what they had, that he didn’t need more, but he couldn't fool himself any longer.
Minseok was in love with Chen, and it broke his heart, because it had all been a lie.
He had no clue what had been genuine, and what hadn’t. If anything had even been genuine. Minseok was questioning every interaction, every soft, whispered word, every touch. But what he didn’t question were his own feelings – of those, he was certain.
He loved Chen.
Minseok ended up spending the night at Baekhyun’s, wrapped up in Baekhyun’s bed with Baekhyun’s arms around him while Chanyeol slept on the makeshift bed in the guest room. Baekhyun had been adamant about not leaving Minseok alone that night and while Minseok had protested, not wanting to impose, he had secretly been thankful for it.
“Thank you,” he mumbled again, sleepiness slurring his words, quickly losing the fight against the exhaustion threatening to pull him under.
That night, like every other night, Minseok dreamt of dark brown eyes and a dimpled smile.
*
After the initial shock came the disgust.
Not only at Chen, or Jongdae, or whatever his actual name was, but also at himself.
Minseok was starting to blame himself for what had happened, and he hated it. He should have seen the signs – they had been there, about as subtle as a neon billboard in the desert on a starless night.
Baekhyun had even told him it had been weird before, and yet Minseok still chose not to do anything. So yes, in his mind Minseok had himself to blame.
Minseok blocked Chen on every single platform they had exchanged contact info on, cutting Chen off clean from contacting him ever again.
It was awful.
Minseok hadn’t realized just how much he talked to Chen, how much space the other man occupied in his mind, until he wasn’t able to do it anymore.
When something happened during his day, Minseok’s first thought was to tell Chen about it. He actually caught himself pulling out his phone and tapping on Chen’s contact a few times, before remembering he had him blocked – and why. It was like taking a punch to the gut every single time.
Minseok also lost weight, stressing the poor stylist out even more because it meant she now had to adjust the clothes again even though they had them fitted perfectly to Minseok’s size just a few weeks ago. In short, he wasn’t doing well, floating between self-loathing and being furious at Chen, and the overwhelming feeling of sadness and loneliness threatening to consume him whole.
Having loved and lost was so much worse than having never loved at all.
*
Two weeks later, Minseok had just finished washing his face and brushing his teeth, ready to tuck himself into bed to battle another night of tossing and turning while thoughts of Chen and the times they shared together haunted him, when there was a knock at his door.
Thinking it was Baekhyun, who had left Minseok’s apartment not long ago after coming over for dinner earlier – and ending up staying for most of the evening before either of them realized it – Minseok swung the door open without looking.
“Baekhyun? Did you forget somethi—”
The rest of the question died on his tongue as Minseok was faced with someone he never thought he’d see again, and he froze. Catching himself just a moment too late, he tried to close the door, but Chen had already gotten his hand in between the gap.
“Wait, wait!” he called out, his fingers curling around the door, and Minseok considered for a moment to just slam the door shut either way, trapping Chen’s fingers in between. But Minseok wasn’t that cruel.
He knew Baekhyun would chastise him for it later, telling him he would have been well in his right to break each and every finger on Chen’s hand. Hell, Baekhyun had suggested running Chen over with his car just the other day, and Minseok still wasn’t sure whether his friend had been joking or not.
Instead, Minseok opened the door slightly and he was met with the sight of a disheveled Chen.
“I've been trying to reach you, none of my messages got through, I didn't know what else to do,” he explained, talking so fast Minseok almost didn't catch what he was saying.
“Please, Minseok,” he looked into Minseok’s eyes and Minseok hated the way his heart fluttered weakly, his own feelings betraying him. “Let me explain,” Chen continued, causing Minseok to scoff.
“What is there to explain? I get it. You were bored, and I was an easy fuck. Right? And you’re here to ask me to make sure none of this reaches your family. Don't worry, it won't. I have no interest in breaking that shit up, goodbye, have a nice life Chen,” Minseok sneered, pushing back against the door again. He needed to cut this conversation off right now, not trusting himself now that he was finally face to face with Chen again.
“Jongdae,” he said, and Minseok paused, eyeing him questioningly. “My name. It's not Chen. It's Jongdae. I'm sorry. For lying to you. For everything, I— can I come in? Please?” Chen, no, Jongdae, Minseok corrected himself, continued, hope brimming in those beautiful brown eyes and Minseok felt his grip on the door lessen, allowing Jongdae to push his way inside.
Having Jongdae stand in his doorway inadvertently reminded Minseok of the previous times he’d been there, his brain unhelpfully supplying him with memories of being pressed up against the hallway wall with Jongdae over him and Minseok had to look away to try and force his mind in a different direction.
“Minseok,” Jongdae started, running a hand through his hair as he sighed, “I owe you an explanation. What I did to you was awful. I know it was. And I'm sorry. I really am. You don't deserve this. I fucked up. I'm so, so sorry, Minseok.”
As Jongdae spoke, Minseok studied his face. Jongdae looked genuine and Minseok felt a small pang of hurt inside his chest at his downcast expression, which he promptly shoved back down. Jongdae did not deserve his sympathy.
Minseok listened while Jongdae talked him through everything. How he had gotten married young – too young, because his wife’s parents were very traditional and her pregnancy had come as a surprise to the both of them. How, once upon a time, they truly had been happy, and it had been enough. How Jongdae had truly thought she was the one for him, back then. But that over the years, things had changed.
How trapped he had felt for the last few years. How he couldn't remember a time where things felt right – how he felt like he had been living a lie, pretending to be someone he hadn’t been in a long, long time.
How, even before Minseok came into his life, he’d been spending more and more time away from home, taking on extra work as an excuse to avoid going home at night. How, deep down, he felt so lost, and alone, and how much he had craved that contact with someone who could see him for who he was, without the lies.
And that he’d found that someone in Minseok. That, contrary to what Minseok thought, Minseok hadn’t been just an easy fuck to Jongdae. He had been more. And that terrified Jongdae, because it killed him to keep lying to Minseok, but telling the truth wasn’t an option either.
When Jongdae was finally done, Minseok was silent.
“Minseok?” Jongdae tried, hesitantly reaching for Minseok’s hand. “Please say something,”
When Minseok felt the touch of Jongdae’s fingers against his own, he pulled his hand away as if he was burned, and the words came spilling out.
“What do you want me to say, exactly, Jongdae?” he spat. “I’m sorry you fucked up royally? You can't play the sympathy card here, you literally have kids, fuck, and you want me to feel bad for you? I don't know if this worked on the other men you charmed, but I'm not stupid, Jongdae. I'm not just going to let you back into my bed after you grovel a little and tell me your sad life story, fuck, did you really think that was going to work?”
“Wait, Minseok,” Jongdae interjected. “There’s no other men. There never was before, either. It's only you. I may have lied about a lot, but not about that. You may not believe me, but I never thought I’d ever do… this,” Jongdae waved his arms lamely, earning him a sharp look from Minseok.
“If you can do it, you should be able to say it, Jongdae,” he scoffed.
“Fine,” Jongdae sighed, “to… cheat. I never thought I was the type to cheat and while I get that may not mean anything to you, I still need you to know. This, what we did, what we had, was not just something meaningless to me. It was more. And I—I hated these past two weeks, Minseok. They were miserable. I was miserable.”
Jongdae reached for Minseok’s hand again and this time, Minseok let him. He didn't pull away even when Jongdae intertwined their fingers, the ring on his hand feeling cold and hard against Minseok’s skin, a cruel reminder of the situation they were in.
But something about Jongdae’s words resonated with Minseok. To finally hear Jongdae confirm his own feelings, to know that they were reciprocated – even in the fucked up way that they were – it broke something inside Minseok. A small crack in the walls he’d built up around his heart over the last few weeks, guarding himself from Jongdae.
But now, with his hand clasped tightly in Jongdae’s, he felt those walls start to crumble.
“I’ve missed you, Minseok,” Jongdae said, looking into his eyes and Minseok couldn't look away, trapped in his gaze. “I've missed you so much, I felt like I was going crazy when I couldn't talk to you. I debated for so long whether to show up here or not, but I couldn't stand it any longer. I had to see you.”
At some point, Minseok wasn’t sure when, they had gotten closer. Jongdae was now close enough for his breath to ghost over Minseok’s lips as he spoke, and all Minseok could do was stare back into those beautiful dark brown eyes that had haunted him for the past two weeks.
He wasn’t sure who leaned in first, but the next thing he registered was the press of Jongdae’s lips against his own. Minseok felt the way a single tear rolled down his cheek as his eyes slipped shut, his carefully constructed walls breaking down completely as he caved to Jongdae. No matter how much he’d told himself he wouldn’t, all it had taken was just one touch. With how much Minseok loved Jongdae, there was no way he would have ever been able to resist.
Jongdae’s tongue licked over his lips and Minseok parted them willingly, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Feeling the way Jongdae’s tongue rubbed against his own, Minseok let out a soft whimper. How much he’d missed this, missed Jongdae. It was like a drug he was finally getting another fix of, and Minseok could feel himself getting lost in it, the thoughts of Jongdae pushing everything else from his mind.
At some point, they had ended up on Minseok’s bed, and Minseok watched, leaning back on his elbows as Jongdae undressed in front of him, just like he had done the first time they slept together. Jongdae unbuttoned his shirt, slipping it off, before undoing his pants and tugging them down, leaving him in his boxers. He paused for a moment then, looking at the ring on his hand, before he started to pull it off.
Minseok moved forward, closing his hand over Jongdae’s, an unreadable expression on his face as Jongdae raised his eyebrows in a question.
“Don’t bother,” Minseok said, his gaze dark as he tugged down Jongdae’s boxers and took him into his mouth, drawing a strangled moan from Jongdae as his hand found its way into Minseok’s hair.
Like so many times before, they sunk into each other, tangled up in Minseok’s sheets, exploring each other’s bodies as they lost themselves in the pleasure. But there was something different to it this time. There was a certain finality to it, and with a particular sharp snap of Jongdae’s hips, Minseok realized with startling clarity that this would be the last time he would let Jongdae have him like this. He simply couldn’t do it – he refused to be reduced to a simple side piece. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to demand Jongdae to leave his family for him.
Switching their positions, Minseok climbed on top of Jongdae, riding him while looking right into his eyes, and a single tear rolled down Minseok’s cheek at the thought of the farewell that would inevitably follow when dawn came. He leaned down, capturing Jongdae’s lips in a kiss, using it to convey all the feelings he hadn’t been able to voice before.
When he pulled back, he noticed a glistening wetness on Jongdae’s cheeks. Whether it had been from his own tears of Jongdae’s, he didn’t know. It didn’t matter, either. It wouldn’t change anything. But Minseok knew, in that moment, that Jongdae understood.
Minseok was getting close – he could feel it in the way his body tensed up, the pleasure slowly getting overwhelming and he threw his head back and moaned at the way Jongdae was filling him up so perfectly, the way they fit together as if they were made for each other. Lifting himself up and dropping down at a relentless pace while Jongdae thrust up, Minseok saw stars explode behind his eyelids, nearly blacking out from the intensity of it as he reached his climax.
Minseok screamed Jongdae’s name as he came, Jongdae following closely behind with a breathy moan of his own.
They laid in silence for a while, just catching their breaths as they came down from their highs, hearts beating fast inside their chests.
But unlike previous times, Minseok wasn’t holding on to the hope that Jongdae would be here when the morning came. This time, he knew Jongdae wouldn’t be. There would be no more them – it was over before it ever had the chance to start.
It was for the best.
END.