Chapter Text
For as long as he could remember, life had slapped him in the face every chance it got.
His family was always filled with violence, which grew even more so when a new member arrived.
From the moment he came into the world, he knew full well that he wasn't welcome. His parents led a miserable, vice-filled life to forget their own miserable life, which in turn poisoned the lives of their children.
The first was Kevin, his brother of fists, as that was the only interaction they shared with Kenny. He knew from the time they were just children that he always provoked a look of venomous contempt in the older man's tired eyes.
Kenny was never close to his brother. After his arrival, he was another mouth to feed, and money wasn't something the house had in abundance; it was the most needed, the reason for many near-murder attempts.
The fights and shouting grew over the years. Unfortunately, the two brothers could never understand each other. They both had to fend for themselves in order to survive such a chaotic household. There were no comforting glances, no "you can do it" to endure Dad's blows, no one to heal his wounds and promise him everything would be okay, much less the "I love you" that, he thought, would come out of Kevin's mouth for him.
The blond always showed up with a new bruise somewhere on his body, which he usually covered with warm clothes and a mask. After all, he just wanted to have fun with his friends without being asked what had happened to him.
They never asked about his friend's home hell.
They never asked him about the bruises on his body. Of course, this only increased Kevin's resentment toward him for disappearing from home for long periods of time. This provoked the drunken rage of his parents, who, without Kenny in sight, took out all their frustration on the harsh Kevin.
But it didn't matter; Kenny just wanted to have fun and enjoy the innocence of being a child. Even though he learned horrible things at home, he never let them affect him. That was until his eventual end, when his mother, through carelessness or intent, became pregnant with his future sister Karen.
When he and his brother found out, they reacted angrily. Why bring another child into the world who would suffer just like them? Why, knowing that the money wasn't enough even for a day's living?
Were they really demons who wanted to make another innocent soul suffer?
Would she be just like her brother?
But like the surprise of the first time her brother raised his hand to her, like those times she was close to death and miraculously saved, like all the surprises life gave her, her amazement was that he loved his sister.
A feeling he hadn't felt with any member of his family.
The first time he saw Karen, he felt a desire to protect her from harm, even if it meant confronting his parents. To his surprise, his brother, who had become an abuser and a thug thanks to the hard life he led, became a true brother to the little girl. A hope and joy were reflected in Karen's eyes when she saw her kind older brother, something that couldn't be for Kenneth.
But it didn't hurt. All the pain she might have felt was replaced and filled with the unconditional love her little sister gave her. It was like all the rottenness she had accumulated all these years, both in her mind and body, all the sinful thoughts she had thought and done with her group of friends, all those things were blessed and forgiven by the sweetness her sister brought.
Her life already had a purpose, and that was to see her little sister's warm smile.
It didn't matter what she had to do to see her happy.
No matter what blows, humiliation, and fear he felt, taking care of Karen always came first.
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"I'm going with the old man, Mom!" he shouted, half his body outside the small house as he waited for the woman inside to say goodbye.
"Have a nice day, my boy!" the blonde adult pleaded as she served a simple breakfast to her other daughter, who was sitting staring into space. "You say goodbye too, Tricia. Don't be rude."
The orange-haired teenager, who had only listened to the scene with a frown, gave him the typical Tucker obscene sign. "Bye, Kenny. Don't increase or decrease the population!"
She closed the door of the modest home, where her mother's scolding of her teenage sister could still be heard. He headed towards an alley next to it to be able to get his already worn bicycle out. When he got on it he heard a squeak that threatened to break, however, Kenny was more than confident that nothing would happen and that with the miraculous luck he was blessed with he would do everything possible to keep it alive.
So he began his walk to work. He looked around his surroundings. His neighborhood was pleasant; it was small, and everyone knew each other. Thanks to them, he now greeted anyone he saw and was welcomed warmly. The landscape was urban, full of houses and public establishments, typical of an area within the great city of Seoul. The blond liked seeing those suburban landscapes, but nothing compared to his hometown, a place of many memories that overwhelmed him with nostalgia. Ssangmun-dong was a welcoming neighborhood, not to mention the gigantic Seoul, but he still hadn't discovered every corner of it like Southpark, which knew every part of it.
He soon arrived at the only basketball court connected to the park on his side. Immediately upon seeing the place, he remembered his childhood in the same park in South Park, when he was only 7 years old. Back then, he enjoyed any plan to get out of his old house; the games weren't so bad either. His group of friends, consisting of Stan Marsh, Kyle Bloflovski, and Eric Cartman, were the ones who spent the most time there playing games like Hide and Seek, which he fortunately always won due to his thin build and ability to hide in the smallest openings; and Red Light, the worst game for him. It consisted of one of them turning around without looking at the others who approached the stand, and if they were caught moving, they were "eliminated." His nerves and desire to laugh were even more intense when he saw the exaggerated faces of his friends, which made him move and lose. He remembered that the one who was good at that game was Kyle, because he was so fast and serious.
There were more games they played, warm memories that brought a radiant smile to his face. While they were games all children knew, his group invented new rules and tricks to win them. Nothing beat the satisfaction of winning a game with your team; it was glorious for him.
A reflection of innocence when there was no prejudice, and regardless of gender, race, or any other difference, they began to see in each other in the following years. These were pure, longed-for years to return to that time that would never be repeated.
Preadolescence and the following years were hard and tragic for them, even for the town, if you could say so. Unimaginable things happened, leaving the beloved park abandoned, as far as he knew, and only filled with memories in the minds of those who took advantage of the space.
He wiped his moist eyes as he remembered the town park where he grew up. Compared to the one he saw now in the district, it clearly wasn't the same; nothing was. He got back on his bike and pedaled to work, where they were surely waiting for him.
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"Move it, idiot, I'm not paying you to slack off!" the burly, unpleasant-looking man snapped as he counted the money from his sweaty hands.
His job consisted of loading and unloading boxes or merchandise for various businesses. There were times when he only had to carry light items, other times when his build made it difficult for him to carry heavy merchandise. The long commute made the task tiring for anyone, however, he couldn't complain because it was the only job he'd gotten without any higher education after high school, which was frustrating because the pay wasn't great. The old man was a first-class opportunist; when he saw a tiny mistake he would deduct as much as he could; there were no days off because he would deduct them too; he would yell at those who didn't do their job well; if they weren't in a good mood he would also hit them, and the worst of all was that it wasn't even possible to resign because the miserable man had contacts with all the stores in the city, making it almost impossible to get another job because they were already branded as "problematic."
"What are you looking at, idiot?! Move if you want your pay!" the man raged, glaring at the blond man, who only gave him a defiant, furious look. If he couldn't hit or insult him, he at least wanted him to be aware of his discontent.
Then he returned to his job without remedy. Needless to say, he didn't like his job; he hated it.
But at least he was honest; that's what his mother, Laura, told him, and only because he needed the money to support his current family. Years ago, when his life was a mess and his only light was his sister, Karen, his world took a gigantic turn, which, honestly, he sought out for himself, leading him to look for a home. The Tucker family was his salvation.
He was a child when everything happened, it was a series of events that led to the unhappy ending, Kenny was always protective of Karen, when she was born she was her inspiration and it became an obligation to want to protect her from all evil, that evil was in her house, despite having Kevin to protect her from her parents, sometimes it was not enough and since Kenny, apparently hated in that house, did not let them take advantage of her and always ended up beaten, humiliated and in serious condition. The adult McCormicks were furious at him for according to them being ungrateful and a traitor, he still remembers the beatings and insults of that day but nothing hurt him more than Karen's tears when she saw her brother badly injured, he would say that that day he almost died but unfortunately it was not like that, Kevin ended that abuse with an even more discouraging proposal, to be kicked out of the house for being a traitor and to finally get rid of that mistake. His parents complied and decided to listen to him, but Kenny didn't put up any resistance. He was hurt by how they didn't love him one bit and he simply left.
Karen begged him not to leave, but he hadn't planned on that. Kenny would never leave Karen alone and knew Kevin would protect her in the meantime. But he would do everything he could to stay in his sister's life. No matter the distance, no matter how much money Kevin asked him to let him see his sister, he would pay anything because his brotherly love for Karen was stronger than anything.
Kenny promised to stay close to her, because he already had somewhere to go, a home where the doors were always open to him.
Aside from the boys, he had another friend who wasn't part of the group because they "didn't like him", but for him he was the most interesting kid in the world. Craig Tucker, who you could say were polar opposites, Kenny was enthusiastic, adventurous and distracted while Craig was calm, calculating and extremely intelligent when it came to studies. Craig was a lonely child and for a social child like Kenny it was easy to approach him despite the warnings of others, the blond was not doing well academically and having a genius as a friend, he did not waste the opportunity, the result was that Kenny always asked for classes with him, inviting himself only to his house where, without knowing it, he would meet his future family; The time they spent together was incalculable because the blond stayed at home every day without fail, even ate with the Tuckers, it got to the point where he went out with them as if they were family. What made his friendship with Craig grow even more was that there came a point where they seemed like inseparable brothers; there was nothing Kenny didn't know about him and vice versa. Kenny found in the Tucker home the familial love he was missing; he found parents who loved him unconditionally and siblings he could argue with without hatred. He knew it was selfish to ignore his old home and Karen, But how could I possibly want to leave my heavenly home and return to hell? Was it pious to ask for some love?
The night he was denied entry to the McCormick house, that same night, 11 yearold Kenny went straight to the Tucker house, fully trusting that they would let him stay for a few days, unaware that his life would change completely, Kenny knocked on the door and finally left his old last name behind.
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When he returned to the neighborhood, he decided to visit the shopping area, a market where things were cheaper but insecurity was rife. He stopped near a fish stand run by none other than the youngest of the family.
"You're late, you smell bad. Have you seen the look on your face?" exclaimed Tricia, who seemed to be in one of those moments of teenage bitterness.
"Good night, first of all, my dear. Secondly, why are you so bitter? Did your boyfriend dump you? Ha..." she mocked Kenny's shameless style to make her smile, only to receive a fulminating blush from Tricia, which amused the blond.
"Where's Mom? Don't tell me my dear old lady went to rest..." He smiled mischievously, remembering that if his mother heard him calling her that nickname, she would surely scold him for being rude.
"Mom said she was tired, so I told her to go home," he said while ordering some deliveries. "I think she's sick again, so you better not make her angry, or I'll hit you myself and make sure you never walk again."
His heart sank, but he gathered the strength to appear as enthusiastic as ever. "Don't worry, little sister. I'll be a true housewife so Mom has less work to do, and you'll see that she'll get better quickly..." He made sure to sweeten his sentence so that it sounded carefree and lighten the atmosphere.
"Idiot," he hissed. "Here, take these herbs and give them to Mom. I'll be back after closing time..." he said, giving her some medicinal herbs to ease the pain.
"Oki doki!"
He was about to head home, but he stood still in the middle of the street and turned to look at the orange-haired woman, who was still staring at him.
"...Did he called?"
"...No."
Kenny turned around and resumed his walk.
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The walk home was icy, even with the seasonal change, the cold sharpened every inch of his body. The streets were chilly, and the vegetation was undeniable. He reached the entrance of the house, and as soon as he opened it, he felt his body embraced by the warm breeze from the fireplace. The blinding light, reminiscent of a sunset with its orange and yellow hues, was greeted by lightning, and he heard footsteps approaching him.
"Welcome home, dear."
He could swear that only the faint but remarkable smile of the eldest embraced him, even from a distance. It was a charm that only his mother, Laura, could possess.
He closed the door behind him and they sat down in the modest dining room. He smiled when he saw the food already served, with exquisite smoke rising from it, which meant the food was going to be delicious. He loved his mother's cooking; each one seemed to be made with immense love. He thanked her for the plate of food and they began to eat, when he felt his muscles tense at the blonde's undisguised look with every bite he took. That look only a mother could give her son who had committed a prank, only Kenny didn't know what that prank was.
"Kenny, tell me how things are going at work. Is everything okay? Are you having any problems with your bosses?" she asked suddenly, to his surprise.
"Everything's going great, Mommy, you have nothing to worry about..." he said playfully, barely able to speak. "In fact, I'll get paid tomorrow if that's what you're worried about... I won't get deducted this time, I swear!"
The eldest stared at him for a long time until her face tightened and her voice became choked.
"I called Craig again today to find out when he'd be home..." She paused, "but there was no answer again."
Kenny felt the air thicken, his mother on the verge of tears. He remembered how difficult it was for her to have her brother "abandon" her, because after he left with her husband, he never showed up in the neighborhood again, not leaving a single message. The subject of Craig was delicate because the blonde was nostalgic for her son, and the two remaining siblings didn't know how to cheer him up.
"I'm sure he's working, mom. You know how jobs are there in California, and on top of that, being an astrologer. I don't think he has that much time!" he claimed. "As for my brother-in-law, I'm sure they're both fine! I'm telling you, I've already spoken to him; they both lead very hectic lives!"
A white lie, but it was the only way to reassure his mother and himself.
"...
"...
"It's not too late to go to college yet, Kenny..."
"What?"
"Listen, if you study a career like Craig, you can get a good job and earn a good salary, more than what you're getting. You and your sisters wouldn't have to work anymore and would have a good future... You could even have Karen as your guardian."
He was stunned by all the information he'd received, but as soon as his brain short-circuited, his heart ached.
"Ma... Why do you say that?" he tensed. "It seems like you have plans for the future... We're fine as we are, Ma..."
"I'm serious, Kenneth. You're no longer a child who can still play in the park. You're an adult now and you have to settle down. Tell me, what will you do when I'm gone?"
Like a bucket of cold water.
Where it hurts the most." "Don't say that, old lady. Are you mad at me? If it's because of the discount a few months ago, I assure you it wasn't almost my fault..."
A long sigh filled the room.
The lights were losing their color.
"You spend your time playing with the kids in the park, hanging out with your friends during work hours, and even leaving Karen alone..." She held the blond man's hands, highlighting the passage of time in the woman's worn hands and those of her son. "You have to grow up, Kenneth. You must be an example as an older brother and the man of the house... this world is full of adversity, and when I have to go, I want to be sure you can survive it and take care of your family..."
She felt her eyes sting with tears threatening to spill out and her throat tighten as she tried to respond. Such a child when told that her mother won't be around forever.
She felt the soft hand cupping her cheeks in a maternal manner.
"I care about you, son, that's all. I want you to be okay even when I'm gone. Can I trust you?"
"...
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The darkness of his room provided the perfect setting to free his insecure mind.
His mother was right.
He was still living in the past instead of focusing on the future. He was no longer a child who enjoyed playing in the park with his friends. No, now he was an adult with responsibilities, a leader of his own actions, something he didn't seem to know how to do. He remembered Craig, and just as he probably was right now, he was living his life like an adult with a stable job and a wonderful marriage.
He was a real adult and a man, unlike Craig. Maybe if he were as smart as Craig, maybe if he had a decent job without financial problems, maybe if he could afford all the luxuries to the women he valued, Tricia would stop working every day with my mom, Karen would be able to see him every day, and her mother could be at peace without having to strain herself at such an advanced age.
When his mind was filled with thoughts he couldn't solve, he always turned to the other side of the room to consult his brother, Craig, but now he only saw a bed that hadn't been touched by its owner for many years, he was alone.
After so much thought, tossing and turning in his bed, and watching the hours tick by, he came to a conclusion. A conclusion that didn't seem to solve the problem his mother had raised.
Yes, he was avoiding it, just like a child, but he really wasn't ready to face it...
He needed money, but urgently. Maybe he wasn't the smartest, but he knew of companies that weren't so visible to the public that offered reliable loans and that paid him in cash right away, so...
He wasn't lost!
He would work like a donkey to pay it off, but he would do it. He was willing. Nothing could go wrong if the company was reliable.
A long time ago, Craig had explained how it worked, even proving to him that it was a reliable source of income with his loan to buy an apartment in California.
He'd already made up his mind: he'd go in the morning to inquire about a loan and fulfill all the girls' wishes.
Everything will be fine!
Satisfied, he went back to bed to sleep, but he couldn't; the guilt was manifesting itself in his insomnia. He didn't want to admit that he was avoiding a topic that had, in fact, been the cause of Laura's reprimand.
You don't want to grow up.
Why?
Because I'm afraid...
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