Chapter Text
“Nam-gyu.”
“Nam-gyu.”
“Nam-gyu!”
“Jesus Se-mi, what the literal fuck?” Nam-gyu finally snapped, looking up from his phone.
He didn't want to be in the school's fuckass auditorium at nine in morning. He really didn't. He had literally no interest in watching a fuck ton of his classmates who thought they were the shit just cause they could catch a ball or jump up and down while screaming, run across the stage. It was annoying as fuck. Like, he could've been doing anything else, but apparently ‘mandatory’ really meant mandatory.
“Nothing.” She said with a weird ass smirk on her face. “Just your boyfriends about to go up.”
He fought the urge to roll his eyes.
“Not my boyfriend.” He muttered but turned his full attention to the stage.
Su-bong. Thanos. Whatever he's having people call him now.
When people looked at the both of them, they'd assume it just had to be some kind of fucked up charity case. Like, how could someone like Thanos willingly choose to be friends with someone like Nam-gyu? Why would the star football player hang out with someone bitchier than his girlfriend?
Then they'd hear how they met, and bam! Suddenly their tiny little head could wrap itself around it, because of course it only made sense if they met when they were already in middle school. Fucking idiots.
Thanos had his cheerleader-slash-football bro friend group, Myung-gi, Dae-ho, Jun-hee, Mi-na, and all the other freaks, whose names Nam-gyu doesn't even bother to remember anymore. That made sense to everyone… But he also had their group.
Nam-gyu could count on two hands how many people knew about Thanos’ SoundCloud rapper fame. He always kept it on the downlow, but when people actually started liking him in school, T.O.P and Su-bong/Thanos turned into what he had dubbed a ‘Hannah Montanah and Miley whatever her name was’ type situation.
Needless to say, Su-bong was always a bit different too.
Closer to eighth grade, their friendship turned into more of a group. Se-mi, Min-su, Gyeong-su, plus the two of them. He still wasn't sure why they all stuck together after Thanos stopped just hanging with them, considering they all hated him and he hated them, but they did. As much as he shit on them, they were all he had, and fuck it. He kind of, sort of, enjoyed their company when Thanos ditched him for Mi-na.
Mi-na.
Don't even get him fucking started. Everything was fine until she and Thanos became a thing.
Thanos would sit with them sometimes during lunch, not super often, but enough to say ‘I’m still here!’ Then he just… stopped. He stopped texting as much, stopped going out of his way to see him in the halls, and on the rare occasions he'd ask to hang out, he'd leave him alone ten minutes in. Wasn't he the one who’d always tell him ‘Bro’s before hoes’? Or did that only apply when it was Nam-gyu?
He wasn't jealous, it was just… suddenly their Friday nights turned into date night.
Maybe that's why Nam-gyu fit a little bit better with Min-su, Se-mi, and Gyeong-su. Cause they felt bad enough to try harder.
It hurt. Especially since Thanos pretended like everything was fine when he did talk to him. Nam-gyu would get confused sometimes and think they were back to how they were before… and then he'd get ditched.
They were growing apart he guessed, but he couldn't unlatch himself from him. No matter how hard he said he'd try, he couldn't say no to Thanos. That shit led to a cycle that was ‘fucking up his life’ according to Se-mi– not that she’d do anything besides make fun of him over it.
Bitch.
Whatever. He was getting pissed just thinking about it.
“—Our one and only star quarterback, with over ten passing touchdowns this season alone, Choi Su-bong!” Fucking finally.
Nam-gyu had to cover his one ear. Everyone screamed. It was 8:00 on a Thursday morning, no one needed to be doing that much for a high school pep rally. Thanos ate it up though. He ran out across the stage in his jersey, eyes searching through the crowd before landing on Nam-gyu. He winked at him, nodding his head and smirked a bit, before going to Mi-na on the stage and kissing her on the cheek.
Ew.
•••
Nam-gyu wanted to peel his skin off of his body. Going on three hours of sleep, an energy drink, and some mystery pill made the hallway feel like actual hell. He just wanted to go back to his shitty house, lay in his shitty bed, and sleep.
“Hey bro.” His locker was slammed shut. He fought the urge to roll his eyes.
He didn't even need to look over to see the bright as fuck purple hair leaning on the locker next to his, but he turned anyway.
“Hey.” Nam-gyu bit his tongue, watching Thanos’ face break into a grin. “Thought you'd still be–” With her– “on stage.”
“Nah. Let me off to prep for the game tomorrow.” He raised both eyebrows and leaned in closer. “Legal skipping. Wanna come with?”
Right. Leave it to the worst school in Seoul to make announcements every fucking morning about how important attendance is, and then give– what, ten? Twelve? Students 'legal skipping' every few days. Like how they say grades are important and they'll kick students out of clubs and sport teams if they have a GPA below 3.5, but Nam-gyu knows damn well Thanos is, and has been, failing practically every class he's ever taken since fifth grade.
“Just you or your whole fan club?”
“What's a party without the fans?” He smiled smugly, like this shit was funny. Yeah, it's hilarious that he kept acting like he cares about Nam-gyu but he doesn't even hang one on one anymore with him.
“No.” He scoffed.
“Aw, come on. Please! For me?” Thanos did that whiney shit he'd pull with him sometimes.
“You're gonna leave me alone, and I'm gonna be bored as fuck. Like usual.” They could talk at a normal volume now that the bell rang and the halls cleared. “No.”
“I would never leave you!” Nam-gyu snorted at that. “You like Dae-ho a little bit!”
Wow.
“Dae-ho thinks I’m ‘easy to talk to’... I don't like him.” Dae-ho was weird as shit. He asked the guy to borrow a pencil one time during bio and suddenly whenever Su-bong would ditch him, he'd latch on. At first Nam-gyu thought it was some sort of pitying thing, but no. He was just genuinely weird like that.
“Jun-hee.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Myung-gi?”
“Talked to him maybe once.”
Thanos started pouting. Nam-gyu rolled his eyes and tried to walk away, but he suction cupped his hand to his arm.
“Please, please, please, please! Free diner food. Free. You could get everything on the menu and not even touch it and it would be all on the rich bitch parents tab.”
Oh shit.
Enticing offer, he had to admit.
They used to do this thing when they were kids, where they'd go onto the streets, pretend to have no money at all– which honestly, they really didn't, but this was strictly for the fun of the game– and see how much shit they could get out of people. Sometimes if they got really lucky some guy in a suit would feel bad and buy them dinner. They would buy as much shit as they could until the man of the day would cut them off. Shit was full of actual good memories.
So to fuck with these guys?
“Mmh.” He also hadn't had real food in a while actually… but was it really worth the potential humiliation Thanos was undoubtedly gonna put him through? Was it really worth sitting with a ton of people who didn't like him, and he didn't like either, alone? “Your not gonna fuck me over?”
Silence for a good two seconds.
Nam-gyu genuinely thought he was tweaking out or some shit, but then he got this super serious look on his face and grabbed Nam-gyu’s other hand. “Dude. what–”
Thanos put his hand on his chest. “I would never fuck you over nothing, my brother.”
What?
Oh. Oh. He was joking. It was weird cause he got this stomach dropping feeling while he said it, which he was going to ignore like he usually did. He just shook his head, not knowing what else to do. “Fine.”
“Hell yeah!”
He went into a whole elaborate explanation of what happened before the assembly as they walked to the group standing at the far end of the hall, near the glass doors, and Nam-gyu listened. Like always.
And when he brought up Mi-na, he did not flinch at the name.
***
Jung-bae’s American Grill & Diner. Despite the horrendous name, it was surprisingly not as horrible as he was expecting.
God he missed real food… well, shitty American fast food.
As expected, no one really tried talking to him after Thanos introduced him. Thanos did the same shit every time he dragged him out with them. And as usual, they didn't look particularly pleased to see him tag along, but Thanos gets what Thanos wants.
Luckily or unluckily for him, Thanos wanted him there this time.
He was four waffles in— Don’t judge. Living alone at seventeen has its advantages and disadvantages— when he saw the girl next to him switching seats with a guy two seats over.
Great. Now Thanos was gonna have a chat with him on how not to scare ‘the ladies’.
Whatever. He had free waffles. Nam-gyu bitched a lot, but come on. He had the decency to not do it while actively getting served shit on a silver platter… Even if he was probably gonna take advantage of it before he left.
Right when he shook himself out of his thoughts and reached out for the soda he'd ordered earlier, he felt a tap on his arm. It was the guy next to him. Fantastic.
“What?” It sounded more like an exhale rather than a ‘what, bitch?’
Huh. Maybe he was losing his touch.
“Nam-gyu right?”
“Uh huh.” He looked at him for a few seconds before it clicked. “Myung-gi?”
“Yeah… we had art together last year, right?”
Wow, shocker. He actually remembered him. Nam-gyu didn't even remember they had that class together, though Myung-gi never particularly stood out to him, so that could've been it.
…
That was kind of a lie. Freshman year he actually did notice him. He had a nice face and wasn't a complete weirdo like everyone else on Thanos’ team. He never liked him like that, he was too stuck up on… someone else. But he'd hear some of the girls whisper about him.
Sophomore year they got paired together for some project. They split the shit up, he did his part, and that was that. He never had a desire to get to know him more than that, and he would have bet his last thousand won on Myung-gi thinking the same.
“Oh, with Mrs. Kang.” Nam-gyu said after a second. Honestly he was usually high or skipping that one. Lots of artists said recreational drug use was beneficial in artistic inspiration, so technically he was just dedicating himself to the class.
“Shit was brutal, but you were pretty good. I remember that one oil pastel of that guy from Tazza, thought it was Su-bong until you presented.” He laughed a bit at the end.
Yeah, he did not remember that shit at all.
“Thanks.”
Myung-gi didn't say anything else and Nam-gyu– once again– was tired as shit. He was here for one reason, and one reason only, and he definitely wasn't in the mood to make small talk in between. He didn't really have anything else to stay for, he didn't need to get anymore waffles, and while Thanos had kept his word and hadn't left, he'd moved across the table to sit with Mi-na. Kind of defeated the whole purpose.
Myung-gi nodded at him as he got up. He didn't say anything back, but then the guy full body turned towards him in his chair before he could walk away. He leaned in just a little bit, coming in too close to his face for his liking. “You tagging along with us to the club later?”
Huh?
“Club?” What club?
“Oh shit did Thanos not tell you?” He whispered almost too softly to be heard over the loud diner. Nam-gyu turned back to face the table again before he continued. “He’s performing.”
No. He didn’t tell him.
He was performing at a club… and invited these assholes, and not him? He looked up at Thanos, just to be met with the sight of him kissing Mi-na on the cheek. He could've gagged right there.
What fucking bullshit. Honestly. They went to clubs together. Nam-gyu came to everything to support his lame ass undercover rapping career… And he didn't even have the decency to ask him if he could go? Did he invite him here as some sort of humiliation scenario so he could overhear this shit?
He guessed it was a long time coming. Seriously, they hadn't hung out in months like how they used to. When was the last time Thanos reached out first?
Was he seriously dropping him like that? He knew Thanos could go low, but to Nam-gyu?
Did it make sense? He could feel Myung-gi’s eyes on him even with his face turned away.
“I could get you in if you want.” He didn't answer yet. He heard Myung-gi mutter, as Nam-gyu waited to see if Thanos turned towards him. If he just looked at him once, then he could pretend like they were fine. That Myung-gi was lying. “Man, I thought you guys were close.”
“We are.” He didn’t know why he felt like he had to prove it to him. Maybe it was the humiliation. “What time?”
“Eight.” Myung-gi pulled out his phone. “Let me know if you want to go and I’ll pick you up.”
Su-bong didn't break eye contact with Mi-na the entire time Nam-gyu waited.
Fuck him. Fuck Thanos. Fuck Mi-na. Fuck the whole shitty football team and the slut cheerleaders. Fuck Myung-gi’s weird ass phone that made him put his number in two times. Fuck whoever was stupid enough to let the scrawniest manchild onto the football team, because honestly why? And most of fucking all, fuck his whole life.
“Oh and Nam-gyu? ” Su-bong. Never. Took. His. Eyes. Off. Mi-na. He never looked at Nam-gyu. “Make sure to wear something tight. The club dress code is really strict.”
•••
Two hours later, Nam-gyu was in Myung-gi’s car. Awkward couldn't even begin to describe a quarter of how bad it was.
“You look really nice.”
Yeah, he had to tear through his entire closet to find one of the outfits from when he and Su-bong used to go out clubbing. “Thanks.”
Silence.
“You're not really talkative, huh?”
“You really like hearing yourself talk, huh?” So the fuck what if he wasn't talking? He only even came with Myung-gi cause he said he'd get him in. His friend fucked him over. He wasn't gonna be all sunshine and rainbows, and he wouldn't be anyway even if he wasn't in a shitty mood!
“Fair, fair.” He nodded, not taking his eyes off the road. He let out a sigh before continuing, “Listen, I think you're chill. I told you about this cause I was hoping it'd be an opportunity to… I don't know, get to know each other better? Make a weird situation into something.” Uh, hadn't he asked that shit cause he wanted to know if he'd tag along later?
…
Whatever, Nam-gyu wasn't gonna get all in his head. He already had a shit memory, so who fucking knew.
“I don't like you guys. Sorry.” He said, keeping his voice level, and very obviously not sorry. He wasn't afraid to say it.
“‘You guys’? You mean Thanos’ friends? Or are you just generalizing?”
“Sure. Your whole little group is weird. Sorry I'm not into players–” He paused. “Football. You understand.” Nam-gyu said, eyes narrowed and head tilted towards him.
He laughed. He fucking laughed. It wasn't even all that funny, Jesus.
When he was finished, he rubbed a hand over his face, composing himself. “If it makes you feel any better, Su-bong doesn't like me.” He said his name like it was a slur, which threw Nam-gyu off.
“What?”
“Just cause we're on the same team, and everyone I hang with likes him, doesn't mean he actually likes me.”
Nam-gyu guessed that made sense, but Thanos had never even hinted at that shit. And Thanos always… Oh.
“But he's never said he–” God he sounded like some kind of pathetic mess. What the fuck was wrong with him?
“Look, I'm really sorry if I'm crossing a line here, but I'm not surprised. He doesn't seem to tell you much.” He glanced over at him, a sympathetic frown on his face. “You said you guys were close?”
“Fuck you.” It came out weak. Nam-gyu couldn’t even bring himself to feel offended. Myung-gi was right. It's what it looked like– it's what it felt like.
And the worst part? It was like he knew exactly what to say. Nam-gyu never prided himself on his comebacks– sure if someone was fucking with him he usually knew what to say… but this shit was humiliating.
The silence between them stretched, heavy this time. What could he even say? Some bullshit excuse? Too late, and even if it wasn't, for some reason he had a feeling he would see through it.
“And for the record,” Myung-gi finally said, putting the car in park. “He thought I stole a couple thousand won from him. Bastard never forgave me.”
Nam-gyu hadn't even realized they were there. He looked out the window and squinted at all the bright signs glaring through the glass.
He knew the area, but there was really only one major club on the strip… but that didn't make any sense. There had to be some underground pop up or something cause there was no way they were at–
Holy. Shit.
There was no fucking way.
Nam-gyu’s mouth dropped before he could stop it… Club Pentagon? How the fuck did Su-bong even talk to someone who could get him in?
He whipped his head to the driver's seat, but Myung-gi was already outside, leaning against the car. Waiting.
The red light from the sign that read ‘Pentagon’, reflected onto Nam-gyu’s face. He hesitated before pushing the door open and walking over to him. “Here?”
Myung-gi just smirked and walked towards the entrance. Nam-gyu followed behind him.
The line outside the club looked like it went into the other block. It was the club, no shit it was gonna be long. Everyone wanted in, but their guest list was strict as fuck. If you didn't have the money or connections, you weren't getting on it… And if you weren't on it, you'd be forced to wait for hours, and even then.
Thanos and him tried to get in a few times, waited in line for six hours, and got turned away every time.
Myung-gi didn't hesitate. They walked up to the bouncer, passing hundreds of people who made even him feel out of place. Nam-gyu braced himself for the guy at the door to burst out laughing in their faces.
But instead he just nodded.
He let them in.
They actually got in.
Inside was everything he could've ever imagined. He saw people doing lines in the corner booths, some guys taking shots with a shit ton of glasses surrounding him, private tables enclosed with what he assumed was some sort of noise reducing glass, all while bass thrummed through his feet and chest.
It was dark as fuck, so when Myung-gi grabbed his wrist, he didn't even pull his hand away. He clearly knew what he was doing– hell, he'd probably come here a shit ton of times based on how he was leading him.
It was so fucking bizarre though, when he thought about it. He got in. Beige ass, rich goodie two shoes, Myung-gi got him into the most insane club in Seoul… If you told Nam-gyu yesterday this shit was gonna happen, he would've laughed like it was the single most ridiculous thing anyone ever said to him.
Finally Myung-gi let go of his hand to open one of the glass doors to a private room closest to the stage. Nam-gyu slid in and took a look around. A wood table, remotes that claimed to change the visibility on the glass, a sweet red bench on each side, and dim lights… It was small, but nice. Much quieter.
“You been here before?” Myung-gi asked once he shut the door.
“No.” He said quietly, still looking around. He had decided he wasn't gonna be as much of a bitch. If this shit was a test, Myung-gi would've passed it the second they stepped foot in the club. “Always tried to though… just never got past the door.”
“Even with Thanos?”
Right. Thanos. With everything going on, he'd forgotten that was why they were even here.
“An amateur rapper? Please.” Nam-gyu scoffed, though it sounded too tired to be mistaken for snark. He glared weakly through the glass, to the stage. Fuck Su-bong. This was supposed to be their place if one of them got in. Really showed how much he must've stopped caring about him. He honestly didn't think Thanos had changed this much, but apparently he was wrong… he'd been wrong about him a lot lately.
Nam-gyu cleared his throat, swallowing the bitter taste leftover in his mouth. “How the fuck did he even get a gig here?”
He waited for Myung-gi to say something, until the silence stretched for so long, it got awkward again. He looked over to see him just staring down at the table.
“Oh. Right.” He finally said. “About that.”
Why the fuck was he saying it like that?
Was he… messing with him?
Was Nam-gyu really insecure enough to be that pathetic? No fucking way he was pulling a Min-su or some shit.
He fought the urge to bite the inside of his mouth. “About what?”
Nam-gyu heard him take a sharp breath, before looking up at him. “Listen, I really need you to just hear me out, okay?” Myung-gi said quickly– no. Desperately. “I'll get you as many drinks as you want, uh– yeah. You do pills right? I get you some of the good shit. Just let me speak, okay?”
He didn't say anything, didn't move yet either, but he felt his heart fall into his stomach.
“I've seen you hang out with Su-bong, you seemed, like, cool… you know? And I mean you're genuinely gorgeous. Seriously. When I saw you the first time I asked Jun-hee– you know her, she was at lunch– I asked her ‘since when did they let models into public high schools?’ and that's when I realized I needed you– needed to talk to you.”
Nam-gyu’s tongue darted out to lick his lips, before carefully saying, “Thanos isn't performing here is he?”
Myung-gi let out a heavy sigh before leaning back, not relaxing yet. “I overheard Su-bong say shit about you guys trying to get in here a while back. I knew the people performing tonight so I just… I didn't mean to lie.” He rushed out desperately. “I thought I’d tell you after we got in and leave it up to you.”
Leave it up to him? Didn't mean to lie? He'd just spent all fucking day beating himself up over shit that didn't happen, and he just kept the act up?
Maybe the worst part about the whole thing was Nam-gyu believed him, because even now, Myung-gi was treating him with more respect than Thanos ever had.
“If you want to leave, I get it, man. I'm not forcing you to stay, I'm not that kind of guy. You could get up right now, and walk out. Hell, I'd drive you back home.”
He paused and slowly leaned in. He took what couldn't have been more than five seconds to look at Nam-gyu. Really look at him. Like he was an actual person.
He looked at him with the same look in his eye that Thanos used to have, before everyone wanted him to sit at their table. Back before he started choosing girls over him. Before he had to be high to really see him. He looked at him like he was actually talking to Nam-gyu… even if it didn't exactly make sense to anyone else, it did to him.
“Or. you could stay.” Myung-gi rested his hand over his. “Get to know me. Show Su-bong you don't need him anymore. Make him jealous. Make him come crawling back. Make him wish he chose you.”
Nam-gyu didn't want to hurt Thanos… But he couldn't say he hadn't thought about it before.
Now he was literally being offered that shit on a silver platter
He could see the whole thing playing out. Showing up the next day, surrounded by Myung-gi and whatever other dicks he had up his ass. Thanos would show up once, like he always did to break the news that he couldn't hang after school, and Nam-gyu would just walk away from him. He'd see his face when he walked past him. He'd watch his face when he realized he replaced him, like he had been replaced.
‘Nam-su’, he'd call after him. Motherfucker still wouldn't be able to get his name right.
He could imagine Thanos going up to Mi-na, or Se-mi– fuck, or even Gyeong-su and Min-su, and asking what the fuck happened. Asking if he had done something.
Yeah. He had done something. The same thing he'd been doing to him all his life… and sure, maybe he didn't deserve it all. Maybe he had been a good friend for a while. Hell, maybe it wouldn't even turn into a big shitshow like Nam-gyu was picturing.
But if he could just replace him. Show him that he could replace him…
It would all be worth it.
He should have said no. Every instinct in his body was screaming at him, telling him to leave as fast as he could… but Myung-gi had drawn him in.
And for once in his life, Nam-gyu thought he had actually won.
“Nam-gyu.” He said his name. “I can help you.”
But he should've known better. Shit like that doesn't just fall into someone's lap.