Chapter Text
Thanos was fucking hype.
Maybe just a little bit too hype for twelve in the morning… but your boy just laid! So, uh, yeah. He was feeling pretty lit.
Man, shit had been good as fuck lately.
Hot girl? Bam wham thank you ma’am, got that shit in the bag.
Football? He was a fucking legend… started as a joke lowkey, but apparently Korea got super passionate about football super fast. Another win for team Thanos!
Amateur rapping shit? Not amateur anymore, baby! He was actually making them dolla’s.
Anyway, his point was, he and the universe got tight. He didn’t really do none of that manifestation bullshit, and apparently narcissism is 10% easier, with 10%... extra results. So hell yeah.
Mi-na had left maybe twenty minutes ago? He couldn’t tell how long he’d been half scrolling, half brushing his teeth, but it had been a bit since he'd come upstairs.
Which, Pro tip for his boys! Hot women love guys who brush their teeth. He didn’t know if it was a low standard situation or what, but apparently it was mind-blowing behavior for men.
And yeah, sure, he might not be the picture of a great boyfriend– talk about evil exes… your mans has like, at least seventeen– but he was hot, and he brushed his teeth.
And he kept getting bitches.
Shit had to count for something, right?
He grinned at his reflection, toothbrush hanging from his mouth. Cool guy. Thanos. Him. That was fucking right, motherfuckers!
He was halfway through checking some dick’s story he had met through Mi-na, when he heard a kind of bang outside.
Not like a ‘is this the guy who egged my house? Let me just knock real quick’ kind of bang (he knew from experience what that one sounded like). No, this shit was a really fucking loud one… like he jumped and almost started choking that ‘mint delicious’ toothpaste down his throat.
He froze mid swipe.
Everything was quiet again, but his heart was beating like crazy. Foam– toothpaste, obviously– was literally dripping down his chin. Thanos spit that shit out fast and wiped his sleeve over his mouth.
He slowly stepped over to the door, just enough to peek his head out from the bathroom.
Now. Thanos ain’t some kind of pussy… but he also wasn’t a bimbo— himbo?— white boy in all those stupid American horror movies.
It’s all in the critical thin—
BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM!
“Hell no.” He muttered, shaking his head. Bitches better believe he immediately stepped away from the door, shutting and locking that shit. “Hell no.”
Hell to the fucking no. There was not someone– something, knocking four fucking times on his front door like a maniac, at midnight, when he was home alone…
Thanos didn't need his eomma or appa– not that they would be any help anyway. No. What he needed was somebody's body to throw in case he needed to run, you feel?
Just then though, he felt a buzz in his hand.
Mina 😍😘 (@minaluvsu196)
bby
Did I leave my bag at urs??
~ 0:37
Holy shit.
Thank fuck. Ignoring the fact that he jumped a little before realizing it was his phone that buzzed, he put a hand on his heart, like shit. He wasn't really scared, trust. He was just being cautious.
And cautious was smart AF.
Ever see those American horror movies where the dumb jock, just so happened to have hooked up with his girlfriend earlier that night, peeks out of the room, and…
Guess what happens to him.
Death. Death happens to him.
Thanos was not that guy. Sure he fit a shit ton of the stereotypes, but he was a good guy! Sometimes. He didn't deserve to go out as the first kill in a shitty knock off movie!
Anyone could call him whatever they wanted, but someone who's gonna get himself killed, unintentionally at least– if you know, you know, gang– is not… something you can call him?
He didn't know where he was going with that.
Anyway, bag…
Low and behold in the corner near his bed, there it was. His girl’s obscenity (even for him. Yeah, shocker, he knew.) pink bag.
He grabbed it and slung it over his shoulder.
The lack of sleep was starting to hit. You know, the ‘blink and your eyes hurt’ kind of tired. And it was… what? Midnight?
He checked his phone. It was after midnight.
Great. He had to wake up early for practice before the game too.
You may be saying, ‘Thanos, bro, what are you doing? Go to sleep’, to which Thanos would respond with, ‘fuck you, and I’ll fuck your mom’.
Hear him out. If his girl wanted him, right then and there, was he supposed to deny her? Like you try looking at the girl of your dreams and saying, ‘sorry babe, I can't. I have a school football game tomorrow. Gotta get those eight hours!”
Who does that?
Man. God always gives his hardest battles to his baddest bitches, or however that saying went. He wasn't religious, so he'd never read that part of the bible.
Thanos 👿😈 (@whotfschoisubong)
yea got it
gtg bed so jst gunna give t to u and leave srry senorita
~0:39
Sent that shit as he jogged down the stairs (multitasking king, if you feel him), before putting it in his back pocket–
BAM…
It was quieter this time. Still loud, just like, less loud.
“Jesus, woman!” Like, uh, okay… not even gonna wait two fucking seconds? “I’m coming! No need to get all dramatic, baby.” He muttered that last part. Couldn't risk her overhearing, and then literally never hearing the end of that shit.
“Fuck.” His hair was all messed up, but he could feel his phone buzzing again like crazy, so it's not like he could do anything about it now.
“Okay, senorita, one bag—” He started, as he finally, finally opened the goddamn door.
And…
He didn’t finish.
Because the moment he opened the door, he was interrupted by a body falling through it.
A limp, bloody, body.
Thanos stumbled backwards, letting out a strangled, “What the— what the fuck?”
A bloody, likely dead body of a… woman maybe (he couldn't tell cause he was, you know, a bit distracted at the moment), was on his fucking floor.
At this point you're probably saying, ‘man Thanos… that shit is crazy! On the bright side, it can't get worse than this!’
Ha.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Nope! It gets much fucking worse, cause bitches ain’t gonna guess what happened next.
It.
Moved.
It fucking moved.
Something (somethings?) cold and wet curled around his ankle. He looked down.
It was the body's fingers. The body's fingers were wrapped around his ankle.
He screamed, his heart was genuinely so far up in his throat, it came out strained. “FUCK!”
He fell back on his ass, pain shot through his tailbone like a fucking needle, but he barely could even register it, because the thing– no, the person. It was alive, it had to be a person…right?– was dragging itself toward him.
And then the smell hit.
Ironyish, yeah. 100% blood, but something else too. Like fucking rotting something.
The blood and fingers that were still gripping him already looked horrific, add that shit? He had to press his arm over his mouth, otherwise he was gonna start gagging like a motherfucker.
Maybe he was stupid, slow, whatever, but finally after all that shit, he looked up.
The door was still open.
“Help!” Thanos yelped out into the empty street. He didn't have time to be embarrassed, it didn't even cross his mind, that's how freaked he was. “Someone fucking help me!”
The body twitched, nails digging into his ankle and squeezing so hard, it felt like it was gonna break.
And that's when shit got weird.
Thanos didn't need glasses. Not really, but sometimes when things got a little bit too close, he… had a hard time making out some of the details.
Shit, maybe he was… wait, near sighted? Or was it the far sighted one? He always mixed them up, like he was pretty sure the names he thought they would've been were swapped.
Anyway, not the time for that shit. The point of all that was he and the body had been in a sort of position where he could see the hand, but you know, not super well.
But he could see the shirt. The black torn, bloody shirt— only the back of it, but…
No. It wasn’t a shirt. It was like a sweater, sweatshirt, hoodie without the hood, whatever.
And he knew that shit.
Of course he knew it, he’d seen it probably every single day since grade school. If it hadn’t been soaked in blood he would’ve been able to recognize it a mile away.
His stomach dropped.
Su-bong inhaled sharply and swallowed.
“…Nam-gyu?” He whispered, almost choking on his own fucking heart beat. Now he was scared. Now he was really fucking scared.
He would get on the floor and beg right then and there, ‘please don’t let it be him, please not him’.
But it had to be. The shoulder length jet black hair, the body, the hoodie thing, the fucking ripped jeans. Fuck, he saw grey circles exactly where Nam-gyu would wear his rings.
The fact that it was late, dark, but the body had somehow made its way to Su-bong’s house.
He reached out to gently brush his finger over the hand still latched onto his foot, trying not to shake like a fucking pussy.
Silence.
No movement. No sound. No nothing.
And then…
Nam-gyu snapped upright.
Thanos jumped backwards so hard he almost slammed his head into the floor. Fuck he was gonna look so bruised in the morning– which was not fucking important right now.
His heart was pounding so fast at that point, he probably should've been concerned about having a heart attack or some shit.
He stared, eyes wide, as Nam-gyu held himself up with his shaking arms. Taking in gasping breaths, head still facing the floor, hair clumped together with blood. Matted and wet.
He didn't look at him, but Thanos looked at him.
Really looked at him and, fuck. He looked... wrong.
His skin looked white— not pale, white— and he couldn’t tell if it actually was, or if it just looked like it was because it was straight up contrasting the red and black gashes all over him. His pants and shoes looked like they went through a fucking shredder, his sweatshirt looked fine minus, you know, the blood, but who knows what the fuck kind of mangled shit was underneath.
One of his hands was bent the wrong way, and on the other side, his shoulder looked like it was dislocated at the least.
He looked dead–
No. He looked worse than dead. He looked like a zombie, a vampire, and a werewolf came together to bite him all at once, just to see what would happen.
His breathing was shallow and quick, but he couldn't actually hear it. If he couldn't see his chest rising and falling, Su-bong might've thought he'd have been holding himself up through rigor mortis.
Maybe it was adrenaline, or maybe it was something else, who knew, but after a few seconds he used his hands to scoot himself a little closer to the bod– to him.
Now he could see Nam-gyu’s eyes underneath where his hair fell, he looked so out of it, Su-bong didn't even know if he knew where he was. He felt his hand raise again. To brush the hair out of his face? To turn his head towards him? He didn't know, but before he could even get it past his lap, Nam-gyu’s eyes snapped away from the floor.
And then he was gone.
Not gone, gone, he just flinched and ran further into his house... He didn't know what he would've done if he went back outside.
He didn't think he would've been able to catch up if he did. He ran fucking fast. Faster than Thanos would've assumed he had the energy for considering how rough he looked.
Man, what the fuck was going on?
He had no idea what the literal fuck had just happened. No idea what to do, no idea why Nam-gyu came to his fucking house, no idea what was wrong with him, and he was so fucking scared. Fuck that, fuck all of that stupid fucking shit.
Su-bong had been having possibly one of the best weeks of his life, and then this insane shit just knocked on his door… literally. And now someone had possibly just tried to murder his best friend. Oh, and even worse, it might have been worse than a murder attempt, and who knows if Su-bong would even be able to figure it out, cause he didn't even know if Nam-gyu was mentally in there.
He forced himself up and shut the door, before walking to the first room around the corner… The first room he and Nam-gyu always used to run straight to when he'd come over, before running up the stairs to his room, with a shit ton of junk hidden in their pockets.
The kitchen.
And there he was. On the floor with his back to the cabinet near the fridge, visibly shaking. This time when he saw Su-bong move towards him, his eyes darted to his.
He seemed to be a bit more… there? Like he tried to push himself up when Thanos knelt in front of him. He tried not to cringe as he felt his pants soak up the blood under him. Nam-gyu’s blood.
His hand brushed over the ripped edges all over Nam-gyu’s pants, seeing it, feeling it like this, made him want to fucking cry.
‘oh haha the legend Thanos wants to cry over some pussy’s tattered clothes? I ain't stanning a queer-ass wuss’, get a fucking life.
Yeah. Bitches be acting like they'd be all cool calm and collected if their best friend was–
He heard a crackle sound come from above him, his head snapped up immediately. They locked eyes.
Nam-gyu’s face was all twisted together, and his breathing was weird and shit, but his mouth opened and his eyes actually looked fucking clear.
“Su-bong?” His name came out strangled, like a whisper but wrong. He sounded like someone had taken their hands around his neck, and fuck, at this point he wouldn't have been fucking surprised.
Thanos’ stomach lurched, but that was an improvement, right? He wasn't talking before, talking was good. The static in his head calmed down a little, just a little bit, but now he could figure this shit out… yeah.
“Hey.” His mouth was really fucking dry. “Hey. It’s okay. You’re okay now.”
God, but was he? What else was he supposed to say? Su-bong was here, so fuck it, he would be okay. He’d make sure of it
“I don't know what's happening to me.” Nam-gyu’s dislocated shoulder jerked back against the cabinet knob. He curled into himself again, blinking fast.
He didn't know what was happening to him either. He didn't even know something was actively fucking happening. Shit, did he need to call 119, or 112, or fucking anyone who might know what the fuck to do?
“I don’t know what’s going on.” His words came out raspy. His voice was still wrong. “I’m so scared, I don’t know why I’m here.”
Thanos’s stomach lurched.
Maybe he needed to start taking notes of symptoms? Maybe he was drugged? Maybe he was on something? Who fucking knew at this point? Probably not even Nam-gyu.
Okay.
- Confusion definitely, but hey, Thanos was pretty fucking confused too.
- Bleeding in so many different places! Very, very open cuts and wounds and stuff, plus probably a lot more that he couldn't see.
- Everything just looked wrong. Yeah, no shit, but that had to be sign for fucking something.
He didn't even know what type of shit to ask. The static, the fucking hand shaking shit, was coming back and he just looked wrong, and at this point Su-bong was about to have a fucking panic attack.
“Did someone— did someone give you something? Did you take something?” Thanos asked. Wow. An immediate fail at trying to at least sound somewhat calm. His voice came out too fast, too fucking squeaky and high.
But Nam-gyu seemed to be too out of it to catch it, and he couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Probably a bad thing.
- Went from being kind of lucid, to really out of it.
“He made me!” His head snapped up, eyes wild. “It was– Fuck, it was so fucking bad— I—”
Bad thing. Very, very, very, fucking bad thing. Shit did someone… do something? That thing?
No.
No.
The worst case scenario had to be a murder attempt… shit like that didn't happen to guys, right?
… No.
No.
He was about to fucking kill someone.
“Nam-gyu did someone try to…” Fuck, he didn't know how to say shit. Would it be a fucking trigger if he said anything? Nam-gyu already wasn't in a good state, and Thanos didn't know how to handle anything apparently. “Uh, have their way with you? Sexually?”
No answer.
His heart sped up, until… a weak shake of the head.
A ‘no.’
Su-bong let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. Thank fuck.
Thank. Fuck.
“A drug? Were you at a party?”
“Not a drug. Not a drug.” Nam-gyu’s whole body was shaking harder than before now. He rolled his neck back as his face went weird again. “Why am I here?”
“...I don’t know.” Thanos managed to say. His tongue darted out to lick his lips and he pressed his eyes closed as hard as he could. He opened them. “But, uh, we're going to figure it out, okay?”
But then, all of a sudden, Nam-gyu’s breath hitched, his head snapped towards where he and Su-bong had come in earlier
“God, what is that smell?” Thanos had exactly one second to process that sentence, because in a literal blink of an eye, Nam-gyu had gone from sitting up, to practically laying on his side on the floor… and then gagged loudly. Man, it felt like Thanos’ brain was lagging or some shit, but he had literally no time to even think about that shit.
Thanos had put his hand on his back, when (once again) Nam-gyu grabbed onto it.
“Is she here?”
A chill ran down Su-bong’s spine.
“What?” He asked slowly. What did that mean?
“Why am I here?” Nam-gyu practically whined, voice cracking harshly. It was like he had forgotten what he just said.
This shit was so fucking freaky, and he didn't know what to do, he had probably in the process already accidentally made shit worse, so fuck this.
“We need to get you help.” Thanos tried to keep his voice steady, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to sound calm when he could feel his brain pulsing, and his stomach in his chest.
Nam-gyu suddenly pushed his own body to the side like he was trying to go to… the trashcan was the only thing on that side of the room, so he guessed that was where he was trying to get, before his arm gave out.
Then the retching started.
“Shit, Nam-gyu–” For all the drinks, and pills, and shit Thanos put in his body, Su-bong fucking hated throwing up, being around it, all that shit. But it came with his kind of lifestyle, so he did what everyone would… he sucked it up.
His point was, he knew what throwing up should sound like, what it sounded like when Nam-gyu did it even… this shit sounded worse.
Much fucking worse.
It was guttural, fucking the most disturbing shit he had ever heard. The sound came from his chest, and then his throat. It wasn't supposed to sound like that, he knew that much. And then the sound hit the floor with a sickening wet– it was indescribable.
He couldn't bring himself to look for a second, but he knew he needed to, just in case.
Just in case… what?
Just in case the worst case scenario shit happened for the 50 millionth time. And guess fucking what. It did happen.
He finally looked over, and whatever the fuck Nam-gyu had hurled up was black and fucking red.
Blood.
Thicker than it should've been. Darker than it should've been. Clumpier than it should've been. Just fucking wrong. And then the smell hit.
And maybe it was just because he had gotten used to the smell from before, but it was that times a million. The rotting smell underneath smelled like fucking roadkill now, plus iron.
“Fuck—” Thanos moved towards him without thinking. “It’s okay! It’s okay, you’re okay!” A lie. The stupidest, most unbelievable lie, maybe ever told. Said with so much fucking weak shit, even the most braindead delirious dying person wouldn't believe it.
“What is going on?” Nam-gyu’s voice broke through the panic in Su-bong's head, coming out almost like a whine, cracking with fucking teary-eyed shit.
“I don’t know… I don’t know. I'm sorry… But it’s okay. I’m gonna call someone, yeah?” His own words felt like they were just falling out of his mouth–
“NO. Don't call him.”
Him?
“Him?” Thanos’s heart slammed against his ribs. “Did He do this shit to you?”
“Yes!” The word came out of Nam-gyu’s throat rough, not quite a scream, but fucking shaking. Like that had what he had been trying to tell Thanos that whole time.
“Who is He?” He asked.
“You…”
He froze for a second, like he full blown glitched hard.
“You— Why didn’t you just let me stay?” Nam-gyu continued, voice shaking. “Why didn’t you let me go with you?”
What?
“What are you talking about?” Su-bong managed to choke out.
“You chose her!” Nam-gyu yelled now. It was raw, but for the first time since he had started talking, it didn't crack. Su-bong could feel all the shit he couldn't even begin to describe in his fucking chest. And it was all directed towards him. “You chose him, and he gave me to them!”
Thanos felt like he couldn't breathe. “Nam—
“What the fuck is going on?” The words came out jumbled. “You. I need— fuck.”
His hands went to his hair, pulling. Hard. Concerningly hard. Like he could hear it. Nam-gyu used to tug on it when he was stressed, but this…
“Nam-gyu, maybe you shouldn’t—” Thanos started, raising his hands slightly, trying not to freak him out again.
“No.” He muttered under his breath. “I shouldn’t have come here. I need to leave” Nam-gyu pushed himself upright, unsteady, hands shaking. His face clenched up like it hurt to move.
“No, no, no. Hey, Nam-gyu. Listen to me.” He couldn't let him leave, right? He wasn't all there. “I’m going to call someone, okay? And they’re gonna help us make sure you're okay.”
“Stop!” He screamed— no, he fucking screeched. It sounded like an animal. Thanos’ heart stopped in its fucking tracks.
That shit didn't sound human.
Nam-gyu staggered backwards, eyes wide like he didn't even mean to do it, before bolting away through the doorway he came in.
A few seconds later, Su-bong heard the front door slam open.
He didn’t follow.
He didn’t go check to see if the door had been shut.
He couldn’t move.
He just stood there, frozen in place, the thick irony blood and rotting smell still stuffing up the air in the kitchen, completely silent.
Then, he felt a buzz in his pocket.
His phone.
Hands trembling, he looked down, half hoping that by some fucking miracle it was Nam-gyu.
It was not Nam-gyu.
Mi-na 😍😘 (@minaluvsu196)
Subong???
Srry just seeing these LOL
Wdym??
Im not coming back NOW it’s like late 😭😭
~0:42
1 New message:
could u give it to me tmrw 🥺
~1:06
The bag.
Mi-na’s stupid pink bag.
He finally walked out of the kitchen and back into the living room.
The front door was shut, and the pink bag was right in between it and the stairs.
Everything after that was a blur. He didn’t remember if he texted her back, he didn't remember if he tried to text Nam-gyu. He didn't remember how he got upstairs, or what time it was when he sat down on his bed. Fuck, he didn't even know if he took a shower, or if the blood smell was just in his head. anymore
The only shit that he did remember was Nam-gyu.
The way he trembled on the floor, the way he yelled, the way he bled everywhere, the way he felt, the wrongness.
Nam-gyu was the strongest person Su-bong knew. The only time he ever saw him cry was when in seventh grade, they fought and he had told him he was weird and annoying… among other things he wasn't proud of.
Fuck, Su-bong couldn’t feel his body anymore.
Just the numbness.
Shock, he told himself. It had to be shock.
But deep down, he knew something was wrong.
•••
Thanos didn’t sleep that night.
Or maybe he had. He didn’t know. Shit felt so fucking twisted… like his brain had been put in a microwave and then exploded halfway through, cause no one read the ‘do not reheat’ warning on it.
He felt horrible, fucking fragmented or some shit.
Like he’d slept with his eyes open, staring at the ceiling– and honestly, that's probably exactly what happened. Not that he’d be able to tell, everything had been fuzzy since He left.
Every sound buzzed under his skin, it felt like there were pins and needles crawling around like ants. His chest was tight. He felt sick, like genuinely sick to his stomach, so fucking nauseous. Dizzy. Off. Wrong.
So yeah. Probably sleep deprivation.
He sat up and immediately reached for his phone.
Thanos took note of every single text he sent. First just one… then another. Then ten. Then twenty. And then he started calling.
None of his calls were answered. No texts. No nothing.
He literally ran out of his house, so he had to be fine, but Thanos’ palms had started sweating, he started swallowing dry, he was starting to fucking panic. Fuck. Was Nam-gyu trying to worry him? Because fucking congratulations motherfucking piece of shit! it was fucking working!
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Sure, maybe he’d been a little bit of a bitch lately, but Nam-gyu had come to him last night! That shit had to count for something, right? So hypothetically, if he could answer, he would’ve answered… Right?
Yes.
No matter how stupid Thanos could be, he wouldn't pretend like he was dying and then ignore him just cause he was pissed. Yeah, not his Nam-su.
But then again, he could get pretty pissy. And he left him. Kind of.
Fuck!
The bus didn’t show up on time.
Of course it didn’t.
Of fucking course the one day, the one and only single fucking day in his entire life he needed to be on time, the bus decided to dip on him.
By the time it actually did show up, he caught it seven blocks away from his stop. Thanos had figured with his luck it broke down. But hey, he was wrong, and he's not complaining. He just needed to make sure Nam-gyu was in school or at home alive as soon as fucking possible. Once he knew he was all good, everything would be ay-okay.
And then finally, after ten shitty, long ass minutes, the bus screeched to a stop.
For the first time in, like, nine years (minimum, yo! Shit would've been crazy monumental, if it wasn't… you know), Thanos was early.
Wow.
Everyone please rise for the standing ovation taking place in the world shittiest school yard.
Thanos’ limited edition neon green sneakers (you know he got that hot shit to match his shirt) scraped against the pavement as he jogged towards the entrance, trying to avoid bumping into anyone in the crowd. He couldn’t waste time getting into some ‘altercation’ with a brain dead freshman who thought they were the shit.
His breaths were lowkey turning into gasps as he got closer… You’d think being the football quarterback would help him out a little when it came to this shit, but Nam-gyu always said vaping was for p—
Oh.
Shit, right.
Focus. He needed to stay focused.
It's not like he forgot, he just... he's never had a great memory so sometimes shit slipped when he was a little high.
He didn't forget.
Su-bong didn’t. He just forgot how serious this shit was for a second.
He had just gotten to the entrance door when—
“Thanos?” His name cut through his train of thought. He whipped his head around to see where the voice had come from. He knew that voice.
Normally he'd put on the whole ‘Thanos’ flair, get on that air of sexiness or whatever, but he wasn’t expecting to run into her right now. “…Mi-na?”
She was frowning.
Shit.
Really bad sign.
He couldn’t do this shit right now. Thanos had put together some half-ass last minute ‘plan’ (it wasn't really a plan, he was just gonna go to COUGH COUGH one person, but it sounded cooler like that) on the bus, and he didn’t have time to deal with a pissed off Mi-na.
“Did you bring my bag?”
Thanos blinked. Black hair and silver bedazzle caught the corner of his eye, and his thoughts scattered.
He needed to find Se-mi.
Ok, wait… in hindsight that probably sounded weird as hell. Nam-gyu and Se-mi had hated each other’s guts since, like, forever. Hate couldn't even cover half of their beef. It was like to the point where he’s almost certain if they were given the chance to be put in some, like murder games or some shit, it would be on sight. His boy would win though, trust… Sorry Senorita. But his point was, they were quite possibly the world's biggest arch nemeses. Their rivalry went, and has always gone, big time.
Why? Literally no idea. Like, his bro hated her the second he saw her, and that shit just grew when Se-mi actually met him. Thanos tried so, so many times to have them work their shit out, and fucking obviously that didn’t work.
But… if anyone was on top of everyone’s asses at all times, it was Se-mi.
She literally had one of those location tracky things, and fuck, he hoped Nam-gyu hadn’t found out about it yet.
“Bag?” What bag? Again don’t go after him, he had a shitty memory, and a lot of shit was throwing him off at the moment.
“The one I left at your place yesterday.” Mi-na tilted her head to the side, squinting at him. “You said you’d bring it.”
Normal, on top of his shit Thanos would've made something up. He would've slung his arm around her shoulder and bullshitted his way out of it, and she'd eat it up.
But right now?
Again. He needed to find Se-mi. Unfortunately, that was priority numero uno.
“Uh… look, can we talk about this later?”
“Thanos?” Perfect. Now she had that disappointed ass look on her face. He couldn't do shit about it now. He’d figure something out later, after he made sure Nam-gyu was okay.
So instead, he just said, “I need to handle something.” Which 100% sounded like the world’s shittiest bullshit, but it was whatever, because if everything went okay, it would be fine.
He brushed past Mi-na and walked through the glass doors without looking back at her… heading straight for Se-mi’s locker.
Unlike Thanos, Se-mi was always early. She liked to have some ‘alone time’ before she was ‘forced’ to ‘endure’ him. Like okay bit– seniorita, finger puppets were all fun and games until she started going after him.
He kept moving, and man shit was chaotic. Everyone in the hall talked over each other, lockers slammed over and over again, some freshman banged into his shoulder… all that shit bouncing through his ear drums, pounding and pounding and pounding. He was about to flip the fuck out. There were a few reasons Thanos was always late, and this was pretty high up on that list.
And right now, he was not in the mood.
But then—
Finally, yes.
There she was.
Standing at her locker, with her school bag propped up, digging through a shit ton of papers… his main homegirl.
“Hey, Se-mi!” He called out a few lockers away.
And…
Ouch. She didn't hear him. Highkey pretty embarrassing for him.
He played off with a clear of the throat, and waited until he got closer.
“Se-mi.” Okay, this time she did for sure hear him, cause she jumped a little and did a kind of side eye double take.
Then she full body turned to him.
“Dude.” Se-mi frowned at him, looking mildly confused and concerned. “What the actual fuck are you doing here? It’s like eight.”
“Bad night.” Thanos said quickly, pinching his side through his jeans. Man, bad start already. So much for making it seem like nothing was wrong. “Couldn’t sleep. Can you— come here.”
He reached out and grabbed her wrist before she could claw him off (girl got nails like a cat or some shit. If she didn't cut them he was gonna call and report minor on minor abuse, for real, for real) and dragged her to the first empty staircase he saw.
Se-mi yanked her hand out of his and whipped it across her clothes with a look on her face. Like it was not that serious, girl.
Su-bong let out a breath and sat down. He pinched his nose bridge, before looking at her. All of a sudden she got this super serious look on her face and…
“I’m gay.”
Thanos stared at her for a second, deadpan, before rolling his eyes. “Yeah, no shit.”
“So why are we here, dude?”
He bit the inside of his cheek. He needed to play this shit cool… Who knew maybe that shit was a dream and he was actually going highkey lowkey batshit insane! Hopefully the fact that it's insane to hope to be insane means something.
Unless, if he was crazy, he had actually killed Nam-gyu days ago and started hallucinating that– Wow this shit was messing with him. He actually needed to stop, cause, hello?
“Uh, have you heard from Nam-gyu?”
“You literally saw him with us at the pep rally.”
“No, I mean… have you heard from him today? Or last night– Late.” He winced at her stare. He was bombing this hard. He sounded like some fucking virgin ass pussy nerd, like, ‘erm… no, actually. What I meant was… er, have you heard anything from today? Approximately around zero, dot, dot, three, five–”, like what the fuck?
“You mean besides our daily good night and good morning texts?” Se-mi raised her eyebrow, unamused.
Okay so there was definitely some passive aggressiveness in there. Her whole fucking unbothered face like?
Man, fuck this.
Could she not drop the sarcastic bullshit for one second? Genuinely. Like he tries for one time in his entire fucking friendship with her, to be serious– very fucking obviously serious… face, tone, all that shit– and then this.
“I’m not playing.” He said, jaw clenched. Just as fucking expected, she Did. Not. Care. Just rolled her eyes and scoffed.
“No. Why? Is he ignoring you or some shit?”
Thanos chose to ignore all that. “Can you just text him? If he’s coming today, just say I wanna talk to him.”
“Come on, Thanos. Did something happen?”
“…” His lips pressed together. Se-mi hated Nam-gyu, but she’d help him out right? Thanos trusted her, even if she could be a bitch when he actually needed her.
But. Nam-gyu didn’t trust her, he didn't like her, and while he's pretty sure they've been hanging out a little more than usual, he knew it was abso-fucking-lutely not out of ‘likingness’. He tolerated her, because Thanos was… He was the only one Nam-gyu actually liked.
With that shit in mind and hand, or however it went, he couldn't tell Se-mi, because if Nam-gyu was like how he was last night, no.
He couldn't take a chance when it might be a risk. “Nah. Just let me know if he responds.”
“Thanos—”
“Great! See you later, senorita!” His laugh was sharp, fake. This shit was messing with him hard, and he didn't know literally anything.
Nothing was okay, and the only other person who he thought might've known if Nam-gyu was at bare minimum alive, didn't.
And even if she texted him, he wouldn't answer, because that fucking feeling in Su-bong’s throat, just kept getting worse.
•••
“What the fuck was that Choi?” Coach Yoo’s voice echoed through his office and the (thankfully) empty gym.
Thanos’ shoulders tensed, shit.
“I– I didn’t sleep well, I guess. Sorry, Coach.” He muttered. No, he actually didn't sleep well, thank you very much.
He was tired as hell, it had been a long, very fucking weird day, he was the reason they lost the game, and then, to top it all off, he was called to the gym in front of everyone for a ‘one on one’.
“Sorry’s not gonna cut it. You fucked up. Big time.”
Thanos nodded, throat tightening. He was swallowing dry again. “It won’t happen again. Just a bad night.”
“It better not.” Coach Yoo leaned forward, putting a finger to his chest. He didn't move it, not yet, just letting it rest there. “Or else I’ll have to swap you out with Lee, and I really don’t want to have to do that.”
And then he jabbed the finger. Thanos very much did not flinch, and if he did, it was because he was so tired of everyone's bullshit, and was caught off guard. “Got it?”
“Got it, coach.” He said with a nod.
The second he stepped out of his office, the door slammed behind him. Yeesh.
He still had to go to the locker room, and then he could go home, spend the weekend equal parts high and drunk, and reset on Monday. That is, obviously assuming Nam-gyu comes out of hiding… which was what Thanos had come to the conclusion was… what he was doing? Too many double u’d words for him right now. You get his point.
The weird ass yellow fluorescent lights in the hallways quite literally almost blinded him as he turned the corner. Who the fuck was even in charge of them? Like school had been over for… four hours? They could at least dim the bright fuckers–
“Shit.” Okay, ‘quite literally almost blinded’ might have been an exaggeration but apparently he wasn't that far off, because not even a second later, he walked straight into Lee Myung-gi.
“Oh. Hey, man.” He had that look in his eye, that weirdly chillax stupid look, that always pissed him the fuck off. It was probably just the way his face was, but it was just such a turn off. Not that was ever turned on, just that he was agreeing with the other meaning in a popular American slang metaphor. Trust. “What are you still doing here?”
It's not that he didn't like Myung-gi, he just didn't want to talk to him.
Thanos let out a sigh. That seemed to be an answer for him, because Myung-gi just nodded. “What happened out there? You're usually a lot more… there.”
“Bad night.” It came out flat. He wasn't gonna put on a show and start becoming buddies with fucking MGCoin (yeah the moron– affectionally, if that was how you wanted to interpret it– had tried to run a fucking cryptobro channel. Look how that turned out) to replace Nam-gyu.
Not that that's what it would be, but when Nam-gyu came back, he'd for sure believe that bullshit. Plus, Thanos would probably choose to be ‘more than acquaintances’ with literally anyone else in the school over him. He just gave off weird vibes. It was probably just jealousy, but guys like him can turn out creepy as fuck after high school, so who knows.
Myung-gi snorted. “Trouble in paradise?”
“You could say that I guess.” Throw a dog a bone and they'll run away to get it. But genuine question, who even conversationally just went around saying ‘trouble in paradise’? Hello?
Instead of taking the clue though, their footsteps stayed in sync all the way up to his gym locker. Maybe he's more of a goat than a dog or some shit.
“You coming to Wang’s party?”
“Uh… yeah, I guess.” Great. A party. He didn't even realize anyone was having anything… but if Myung-gi was asking about it, that probably meant everyone was going. “That tonight?”
“Yeah. Want a ride? I’m picking up a few friends.”
“Nah.” Thanos shook his head quick as fuck. Take. The. Hint. Bro! “I’ll walk over in a bit. Need to clear my head, you know?”
“Sure, sure. See you later, man.”
“See you…” He trailed off once Myung-gi finally, finally, finally left him alone. Finally.
He rested his head against the cool locker door for a second.
Maybe getting wasted would be good for him.
Well, obviously not good, but good.
Everything was weird as fuck. Seriously. Su-bong could not name anyone not one good thing that had happened to him. And he was just supposed to carry on with life.
The rational thing to do would be to, you know, tell someone… but then that might hurt Nam-gyu more.
Nam-gyu was alive, and he was going to live, so he had to be careful in how he handled all this shit. If he got back and everything was messed up for him, he'd blame Thanos. And right now all Thanos needed was for things to go back to the way they had been before.
His chest felt heavy, and he couldn't really breathe.
He showered.
Didn't help.
So he put all his shit in his locker and walked outside. The chilly autumn night air hit his face.
The way they had been before.
Su-bong met Nam-gyu in fifth grade, long before he became ‘Thanos’.
Little Su-bong had just lost his dad to liver failure. It turned out, coming home drunk every single night actually did have an effect on one's body.
It was funny. Su-bong had prayed, and begged, and wished for his dads death. Anyone would've been crying from joy… like, finally, the monster that would punch, hit, scream, slap a little boy and his mother, was gone.
But not Su-bong.
Little Su-bong always had a hard time processing his emotions, it was one of the reasons he turned to pills and booze so early on– though he never over did it on the drinking. He might get really fucking drunk now and then, but he refused to be like his father– so when he died, that shit hit him. Hard.
He spent most of his time in the living (hah!) room, watching Idol after Idol trying out for just one chance to get into some mediocre agency. Then, he would spend the rest of his days sleeping, eating, and going to school.
Depressions weird like that. It always hits when it's never expected to.
He had no fond memories of his dad, but for some reason once he croaked, Su-bong was sent into a kind of depressive mourning state. Maybe he was mourning the man his dad could have been, the dad he could've had.
He didn't know, and he sure as hell would never go to a shrink to find out.
Su-bong’s mom had her own issues, sleeping with guys every night for some cash, but for the most part she was there. And then suddenly, one day, bam! She meets this rich white dude, who for some reason fell madly in love with her.
A few months into their relationship, he and his mom were about to lose their apartment. Bob– what a stupid fucking name– generously offered a different living arrangement
Bob was… fine. Not abusive or an alcoholic like his real dad, he was just kind of plain. Boring. It wouldn't have been too much of a problem, except that he practically ignored Su-bong.
And to this day, he still would. Only now, his mom and Bob were almost constantly away from home. ‘Road trip’, ‘work trip’, ‘early birthday present’, but Thanos never got an invitation extended to him.
He's sure his mom would've said something about it, but they needed his money. Otherwise they would've been out on the streets. He didn’t blame her too much.
Anyway.
Moving halfway across Seoul was probably the shittiest thing that could've happened to him. He was already depressed, add moving away from his safe space, friends, and only home he ever knew? Shit, man.
The only good part about the entire thing, was that he hadn’t been going into a new school halfway through the school year.
And thank god for that.
The first day of school rolled around, and Su-bong had tried to hype himself up in front of the mirror (Even little Su-Bong knew self love was important, like hell yeah, little bro!) …But when he got there, everyone already knew each other.
Every kid had at least one other kid by their side.
Every kid, except for one.
Her hair went down to her shoulders, she kept pushing her glasses up her nose every few seconds, and she was drawing.
But she was alone.
So he went up to her.
Super long story short, that girl was not a girl, it was Nam-gyu. It turned out even as Thanos became… Well, Thanos, their personalities still matched.
Everything was perfect, and then he joined the football team, and shit got even better.
It wasn't that Nam-gyu, and then later Se-mi, Min-su, and Gyeong-su, weren't enough, it was just that he always wanted to be more. To have more. Call him greedy, but he figured if he couldn't love himself as much as he pretended to, other people loving him could make up for that.
He started spending less time with his boy, but again, everything was chill at that point.
And then he started dating Mi-na. That was when shit did start changing.
Nam-gyu had always been his number one person priority, so when it suddenly changed, he got pissy. He didn’t even try to hide it.
And yeah, Thanos probably could have balanced it a little better, but when you're in an actual relationship, you can’t turn your girl down every time she wants to hang, cause you gotta go smoke weed with the homie.
So their practically everyday hangouts started turning into twice a week hangouts.
Then only once a week hangouts.
Then only at school.
And then it turned into a Thanos bribing him to hang out with his group, so it felt like they were together. Therefore he only had to hang out with him when he was busy, or getting something else out of the way.
Okay that was probably a bit shitty of him… it wasn’t manipulation, but at that point they weren’t hanging at all and when Nam-gyu would get pissfaced drunk or high on some new mystery drug Thanos didn’t even know existed, he’d give him a piece of his mind.
At least if he invited him to shit, it made him feel a little better on those calls.
Call him a dick. He knew it was bad, like could he really not have hung with Nam-gyu not one day a week? Not one day a month?
And the answer was, he probably could. He just preferred doing something else over it.
It’s not like he didn’t care about Nam-gyu, it was just… whenever they would hang, nine out of ten times Thanos would say something and Nam-gyu would leave upset. Like sad upset, or jealous upset, or mad upset, but never at Thanos. It wasn’t obvious, but it was to him.
No matter what he did, he couldn’t seem to get it right, so why not just get it wrong in the best way possible.
…
Fuck. What was wrong with him?
It took a bloody almost corpse of his ‘best friend’ to get him to actually want him back like how Nam-gyu had probably wanted him back all along. No, how he definitely did. The fuck was he saying, he’d said it a shit ton of times.
And now that he realized that there was a possibility he might never even get him b—
He was in front of the house already.
Thanos took a deep breath.
Held it…
He was just gonna make himself forget about all this shit for a few hours. He was going to have a nice time. He was going to let everyone around him think everything was fine, that everything was okay.
And exhaled.
~
The second he stepped in the house, a red plastic cup was handed to him. Thanos didn't know what it was, but he downed the whole thing in one sip. Shit burned all the way down his throat. Good.
Music vibrated through his chest. The lights were out, but somehow Wang must've gotten his hands on some of those club lights that made the room look like a fucking laser tag jungle gym type place.
Blue, red, green, purple, yellow, repeat. After a few more drinks they all started blurring together.
At some point he thought he saw Mi-na walk past him. Fuck, he didn't even remember talking to her after that morning. Thanos reached out for where he thought he'd seen her shoulder, but she had already disappeared. Or maybe he was hallucinating (again?) and she wasn’t even there. Huh, maybe he was turning into a schizo like his dads mom, maybe that's what this shit was.
Wouldn't that be funny?
Another drink, another burn. The edges of the room blurred harder. He couldn't remember what he had just been thinking about.
That was a lie.
He grabbed another drink. Then another. And then another after that one. Thanos stopped counting when he actually started feeling like that.
Booze was a depressor, right? Psych shit. So if he mixed some stimulant with it, it would cancel out the depression, but keep the other shit? Mmm! Call him a genius right now.
Someone slammed into him, and the floor tilted. Someone laughed, someone else shoved another drink into his hand when he got up.
Mi-na walked past him again. This time he was 1001% sure it was her. Her hair, her smell, her fucking pink fit. He would've tried to follow her, but someone dragged him towards some guys he met maybe once before.
He felt light. Almost okay for the first time in a while.
Su-bong really did forget. For a little bit.
Someone's cup fell, and red shit spilt all over the carpet. Who drank red wine at a high school house party? He heard his name, and then all of sudden he was lifted into the air. The crowd fucking roared.
They were cheering for him.
He felt his lips turn up. This is all he wanted.
Thanos fucking basked in that shit, even after they put him down. It felt good for a while, but then, maybe it was the pill, or one too many shots, but all of a sudden the lights had started pulsing. Mi-na’s laugh echoed in his ears. The voices became too loud. Thanos drank again, too much, too fast, for something it couldn’t fix.
But he couldn't think, everything was just too much.
And then…
The whole room snapped into focus.
At first he didn't know why. It was just like he had sobered up almost instantly, but to be that far gone and come back that fast. Something felt off.
He thought maybe it was just vibes, or everything was happening so fast he was gonna black out.
But then he saw it.
He saw him.
Nam-gyu.
Nam-gyu, standing in the corner talking to some guy whose face he couldn't see. Nam-gyu in the clothes they had bought together the summer before. Nam-gyu, perfect, beautiful, amazing Nam-gyu.
Just standing. Like everything was okay. Like he was okay.
The world tilted again, this time not from the alcohol.
Su-bong felt something cold crawl up his neck. This was wrong, something wasn't fucking right. The music kept blaring from the glass table’s speakers in the living room, the lights kept blurring in his eyes, people kept screaming, but everything had turned into static. Something felt weird, but he couldn't bring himself to care.
His Nam-su.
He was here and Su-bong was going to lose him again if he didn't get to him in time.
He stumbled over someone's foot, as he pushed through bodies, on bodies, on bodies. Youd think Wang would’ve put somekind of limit on how many people could come, cause it was pretty fucking inconvenient. People cursed at him when he'd bump into a cup and spill their drink on him. Like he was the one who was gonna come out sticky, get a life and grab a new one, it wasn't a big deal. His shit was more important and now he was full blown panicking.
The alcohol in his veins was making him too slow, everything was sluggish except for his head. Fuck.
He spun around in the crowd trying to remember which way he'd seen him.
The smell of cheap liquor made him want to throw up, but that didn't matter now. It couldn't. If he needed to throw up, he'd do it in the bushes once he found Nam-gyu.
He let himself do this shit.
He let himself do this shit. After all that happened last night. Nam-gyu on the floor, the blood, the shaking, all that fucking agony he must had been feeling.
Not even a day later.
The way Nam-gyu had looked at him. Him. He had come to his house. Hed been injured, fucked up, terrified, but he came to Su-bong’s house. All for what? Thanos to freak and try to forget about the whole thing?
He thought he was doing the right thing. He thought this was okay. He thought, he thought, he fucking thought.
Choi Su-bong was a bad friend in every single way when it mattered the most.
He was so fucking stupid, how could he have thought to not do shit. What, cause he thought Nam-gyu was okay? Because he couldn't bring himself to believe that bad things could actually happen to people he actually cared about?
He was okay. He was right fucking there.
So what… was it a test?
How was he supposed to know what to do?
Maybe if his deadbeat fucking parents had been there when shi–
Blaming people who were literally not even there, new fucking low. Can't get himself out of this one. Not with that. Not with any excuse he could come up with.
The alcohol wasnt fucking letting him work right. He was supposed to be calm. He should've been able to find him.
But he wasnt fucking there.
No trace of him ever even being there. Yeah he asked four separate people who were literally right there. No one saw him.
So he was crazy.
That was the only explanation, right?
But see, then he fucking saw it– him– again. He felt like pulling his hair and genuinely screaming, what the fuck was going on with him?
A flash of pale skin, a body in Nam-gyu-like clothes being dragged into the crowd. He laughed. Nam-gyuish looking person laughed.
It couldn't be him if no one else saw him. It couldn't be him.
Fuck, what type of pill did that dick give him?
That was what this was. He was tripping. He mixed some stimulate with a depressor, because he only took AP psych cause the teacher was too nice to actually force him to listen, and it was fucking with him. He wasn't crazy.
Maybe.
That should've been reassuring, right? But he couldn't breathe. He couldnt fucking breathe, and his legs starrted moved without him, and he felt like he was spinning.
The lights flickered faster. Cutting through his head like jagged pieces of glass, his head was pounding.
He couldn't start breathing, he couldn't stop thinking. People kept pulling him around and giving him shit.
Every voice.
Every color.
Every touch.
Every beat.
All of it was him.
Nam-gyu’s name on repeat in his head, like one of those old music players.
Nam-gyu, Nam-gyu, Nam-gyu, over. And over. And over. And over again. Perfectly in sync with everything.
He couldn’t see anything else.
Couldn’t think of anything else.
Couldn’t feel anything else.
Just him.
Just knowing that he was gone…
Nam-gyu.
Was.
Gone.
While the party kept blaring around him.
Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock.
•••
Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.
Thanos fell off his bed.
Bad move. Very bad move.
His stomach lurched, and before he could even process what had just woken him up, he had to run to the bathroom with his blanket still tangled around his legs. His head pounded with every gag, the taste of whatever he’d thrown up stayed in his mouth sending him into a kind of taste, hurl, taste, hurl spiral.
He hadn’t been this hungover in months.
Fantastic. Really great start to his morning.
KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.
The pounding got louder. Like, if he’s not answering, he ain’t there… and he was actively trying to stop throwing up, don’t start playing with him. Not right now.
And, because apparently everyone needed him right now, he heard his phone start going off at the same time as that fucker was ‘knock, knock, knocking’.
He rested his head against the toilet seat for a second, and let out a breath. He did not whine… that would be…
(And if he did do it, which he didn't, it would be more of a silent cry, you feel? But he didn't. He'd swear it on his old man's life!)
He dragged himself back into the bedroom, blanket still on his leg, just a little, uh, less clean.
Thanos answered without checking who it was. “What’s good?”
“Open. The door.”
He blinked. “…Senorita?”
Instead of a response, he heard the beeping shit you get when someone hangs up. It took him a bit longer than he'd admit (blame it on the hangover) to realize that his number one homegirl had hung up on him. Like bitch, genuinly what the fuck?
He kicked off the blanket, before heading down the stairs. Su-bong did not look at the blood in the cracks of the floor.
If he hadn't cleaned it up, before the game the day before, he'd probably puke again.
Once he opened the door, that at that point probably had fist indents in it, Se-mi walked in and headed straight for the couch.
“Uh— Hi? Hello? How are you?” He jutted out his head and leaned against the wall. Homegirl came to his house, sat on his couch, and just deadstared him? “Is chivalry not a thing anymore? Kindness? Caring for friends?”
She ignored that shit.
“What. Is going on.” Her eyes narrowed as she searched his face for some shit. Like a full on scan, once over. If he didn't know her, he'd think she was judging him hard… which she probably was too, but you know, more friend lovingly.
“Huh?”
“Don’t act stupid, Su-bong.”
“Hey, I’m being serious!” He threw his hands up. “I'm pretty sure I blacked out last night. Like, hard. So sorry I don’t know what you’re talking about, jeez.”
Se-mi full blown rolled her eyes at him. Take a chill pill, girlfriend. “Not last night, dipshit! I mean the shit with Nam-gyu.”
Oh.
“Oh.”
“‘Oh’ fucking yeah.” She swallowed and tilted her head before continuing. “Well I texted him. Figured if you went all panic mode maybe… I don't know, something was up.”
“And?”
His breathing had sped up. Like this was the shit he had been relying on the other day. This was the plan. Shed say ‘yeah he responded and said tell him to fuck off’, or ‘haha, what a fucking dumbass. He said he got you good, bro’.
“He didn’t answer. So I went to his house.” Oh. She cracked her knuckles on his couch. “He wasn’t there.”
“Shit.” Ha! Wow, wasn't it crazy how such a small word could really encompass (his thanks were sent out to Gyeong-su for helping him get a 1/20 on his vocab test… ‘encompass’) something so big? AKA ‘shit’ when he was about two seconds away from having a panic attack!
Okay! So this shit was fucking serious! Wow! Great! Fuck this shit! Of course he should gotten the police involved, of fucking course.
And like, yeah, now that he’s really kind of processing this whole thing, he’s realizing how bad it was.
Like okay, uh, Nam-gyu passes out, cuts all over his body, bleeding everywhere, and then throws up blood.
Shit.
It was bad.
Oh god, it was really bad.
What the fuck? Why— why wouldn’t he tell anyone?
He cleaned up actual fucking evidence!
He couldn’t move. Like physically, his whole body felt like it was burning.
You know that feeling when it’s like ‘oh fuck, I messed up bad’, and you pause for a second cause your hearts all over the place and it’s hard to move?
This is that shit times a fucking trillion, man.
“What happened? Did he go texting you some weird bullshit and then, I don't know, disappear? Did you see him doing something?” Su-bong closed his eyes, and slid down the wall. He couldn’t really even hear her super clearly. Everything sounded like he was underwater. “I just want to know what the hell is going on. He’s my friend too.”
Oh. Okay. Se-mi was legit kind of freaked, Thanos understood that part. Naturally she wanted to know what was going on. Fuck, so does he!
“I…” Thanos lowkey croaked that shit out. He rubbed his face before finally saying the truth. “I don’t know.”
“Don’t start that bullshit.” She deadpanned.
“No. I just— he’s probably fine… He’s gotta be fine right?”
“Probably fine?” Se-mi repeated slowly. “The fuck does that mean?”
Girl. If he said he didn't know before, how would he suddenly know two seconds later?
“It means he’s probably okay? Probably alive? I don’t know. If you want a fucking definition, look it up, grab a dictionary for all I care.” He ran his one hand through his hair, and bit the nail on the other.
She stared at him for a second like he’d genuinely lost it. What? He couldn’t be a bitch back? Fuck that shit. “Did you two switch bodies or something? What crawled up your—”
She cut herself off and froze mid sentence.
“What do you mean, ‘probably alive.’”
Oh.
Oh, shit.
“I didn’t say that… Did I?” He said it too quick. She knew.
“Su-bong.” Se-mi said it carefully, like she was talking to a child. “What happened?”
“I don’t even really k—”
“If he’s not alive, what then?” She snapped, like she actually knew some shit about this. “I don’t know what shit you two got mixed up in now, but if you’re fucking Freudian slipping him possibly being dead… then I don’t know, maybe he might be.”
“Don’t fucking say that shit.” He snapped back, standing over Se-mi and jabbing a finger at her. Fucking trying to manipulate him now? He was not in the mood. “You don’t get to say that. You don’t understand”
“I don't. But I want to. Thanos— Su-bong. I can help. Both of you.”
She didn't look away.
Thanos bit his cheek and exhaled.
Fuck it.
He told her everything. Everything. From the banging on the door, to meeting with her the next morning, to the fucking blurry hallucination of him the night before.
And she just listened.
Maybe that’s what he needed. Having one other person who knew… even if Nam-gyu would probably kill him if he found out, made it easier.
Not easier, but, you know. More sure they would find him? Yeah.
“Why wouldn’t you call 119? He was bleeding, right? Did you—”
“No.” Thanos said, even though he knew he fucking should’ve. He just couldn’t bring himself to say that shit out loud. “He didn’t want me calling anyone… Do you think we should call someone now?”
She pinched her nose bridge, paused, and then rubbed her whole face. “No.”
Uh…
Huh?
“What? Why?”
“It’s been two days since he was here, right?” Thanos nodded. “If your kitchen had his blood fucking everywhere, no matter what you say, no matter who your alibi is, they’re going to assume the worst. Which would obviously be that you killed him and tried to lie and clean up. If you call someone now, you’re gonna be their number one suspect.”
In short, he guessed that meant they were fucked no matter what. Well, he was fucked, and Nam-gyu by proxy.
Se-mi would probably be fine.
A little part of him wanted to bet the only reason she was even trying to help was in case they tried to frame it on her. After all, they were the ones that were always at each other's throats.
“…So what do we do?”
“We try his house again, we keep calling his phone. I’ll reach out to a few people— discreetly, don’t freak.” She let out a breath. “We can try to do more shit on Monday. But right now? We keep this between us.”
Thanos nodded. “Sure.”
Shit sounded pretty solid.
He could only hope everything went at least halfway okay.
~
Later that day, Su-bong walked to Nam-gyu’s place. It’s not that he didn’t believe her, he just wanted to see for himself. She told him to check up on it anyway.
Nam-gyu… lived alone. It was kind of the same situation as Thanos. Parents didn’t give a shit, but Nam-guy’s just fucking completely left. Left a note and all.
Fucking pussies.
The house was dark. No porch light, no TV flickering through the windows, no curtains even open.
It looked like how it would look at night. Like he had left at night, and then some shit happened.
But why run to Su-bong’s? Why not run to his own?
He rang the doorbell. Knocked once. Then he knocked again. And then a few more times after that
Nothing.
He probably stood there too long, but at least it didn’t look like anyone was out nearby. He didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe he could’ve asked if someone saw something, or maybe they would’ve called the cops on the boy with purple hair.
After he got back from that, the rest of the day blurred together. He spent most of it sprawled across his couch high as shit, and then later his bed after he started looking at the wood cracks a little too closely.
Even if he couldn’t forget about all that shit— not that he wanted to, just after the night before, it was, you know— it felt good not having to be as stressed. Se-mi had it covered for the most part.
She would figure this shit out.
And if she didn’t, he would figure it out on Monday.
Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Nam-gyu, wide eyed, bloody, shaking.
By Sunday afternoon, he had gone back to his house again.
Nothing. Still nothing.
Nothing had moved, or been touched, just like how it had been the day before. At least Thanos knew for sure he hadn't been home in case they needed to make a timeline.
That night, he laid wide awake in his bed. He hadn't slept well in days, but he just couldn't. So instead he spent half of the night spam texting and calling Nam-gyu over and over again. Su-bong didn't know what he would do if he actually answered at that point.
He went between shutting down his phone, to texting, to checking, to calling, to asking Se-mi if she heard anything, and then repeat that shit the whole night.
At some point, Se-mi stopped replying.
And then finally, Monday morning came around. The only things that were keeping him awake was some three day old coffee, his grape vape, and a blue pill from his stash. He barely even realized that he was awake, until he got on the bus.
By the time he actually pushed the glass doors of hell open, it was 9:54… Finally, Thanos did something that actually felt normal–
He was interrupted when he immediately bumped into someone.
“Excuse yo– oh.” It was Se-mi. “Señorita. Shit, you lowkey scared me.”
“You should be fucking scared.” Se-mi hissed, glaring at him. Like it wasn't even ten in the morning, he didn't do shit yet. “Why haven’t you answered your phone? I’ve been calling you all morning, dipshit.”
Oh. Uh…
“Huh?” Thanos blinked and took his phone out of his pocket.
It was still powered off from the night before. Whoops. He put a finger while he waited for the screen to light up.
“Oh. Shit.” Yeah… he scrolled the screen up and down and there was a shit ton of missed calls from her. “My bad, sorry.”
Se-mi didn’t say anything. She looked around the hallway, and before he could ask what the fuck she was doing, she grabbed him by his sleeve and yanked him into a literal corner. She looked around another time before coming in real close. “That shit you said happened on Friday—”
“Thursday.”
“Friday morning. If it was past midnight, it was Friday morning. Stop being stupid.”
Thanos waved his arm. Why did that even matter, he was the one who said the shit. If she didn't care about that shit, she should've just gotten on with it, and so he said as much. “No one cares about that shit.”
“This is important.” Her nostrils flared. Shit was not a great look, ladies.
Woah, wait.
Not the nostrils flaring thing. Obviously, he was talking about the being a two-faced hypocrite type shit.
“Oh, like when I told you this shit was so important, and you got all up in my face—”
The bell rang right above him. Students came out of their classrooms. Lockers slammed. Those fuck-ass jackets were being scratched, and if he had been paying a little more attention, he would've cringed. He hated that shit. Chills every time. But he couldn't let the disrespect slide, you feel? This shit was important to him.
So, yeah, he had to raise his voice a bit as the whole building almost fucking shook with the amount of kids bumping into them. Se-mi looked like she was starting to get impatient, and you know what? Good. She should've been feeling them ants in her boots, or whatever.
Don't disrespect a legend, yo!
“–telling me how much you hated my boy. Like, uh, I fear that convo was important too, but you didn’t seem to care–”
He was cut off again when Se-mi interrupted him. Again. Girl pulled his hoodie by his chest and got on his side.
“He’s here, Su-bong.”
…
Wait, pause.
“What?” Thanos blinked slowly. “Who?”
She just stared at him. Deadpan. Like to be so real, he was feeling the pill and the sleep deprivation. Color him confused. “Who? Su-bong. Who the fuck do you think I’m—”
…
It happened fast. One second, he was just standing there listening, the next…
Se-mi’s lips kept moving, the lockers kept slamming, everyone kept walking and shit, but Thanos stopped hearing it.
It was like all of a sudden someone had just muted the whole hallway.
At first, he didn't understand. The only thing he could register was silence plus a ringing in his ears. He couldn't breathe right. His vision tunneled, everything got blurry. He thought he was about to pass out, cause he didn't know what the fuck had just happened to him.
But then his eyes focused.
He squinted towards the place his eyes had flickered to right before whatever had just happened.
And that–
He was… hallucinating, maybe? Maybe? Very quite possible.
But it couldn't be, right? No. There was no way, this shit was way too real.
It wasn't going away.
No soft edges around his body.
He moved right. Perfectly, even. Not wrong at all.
And then he laughed.
Smiled at the person next to him.
The person… next to him?
Jet black slick-back, dark eyes.
Myung-gi.
He was with Myung-gi and they were laughing.
Like nothing had happened.
Like nothing was different, but something was different.
But he looked good.
Great even, better than usual.
Even from that far away, his skin was fucking glowing. Makeup maybe?
But…
Why was he with Myung-gi? Out of every person in the entire school, why the fuck would he choose him?
Why was he even with anyone? He didn't have anyone else but them… right?
It wasn't just him being selfish, it was the actual fucking truth.
Thanos couldn't stop staring even as He turned his head.
And…
Holy shit.
Their eyes locked.
Five seconds.
For five full seconds they just stared at each other.
And then He smiled.
Wait, no. It was too off for a smile.
He couldn't even describe what it looked like, just that there was something in his eye. And it looked so fucking wrong.
After what felt like an eternity he turned away first. To walk away. With fuck-ass Myung-gi.
Still smiling.
“Nam-gyu.”
Se-mi’s voice, the stampede of footsteps, fucking everything slammed into Thanos’s ears all at once.
“Nam-gyu is fucking here.”
What.
The.
FUCK?