Chapter Text
“Hey.” the voice whispered ever so softly, a wisp of air seeping into his ears. “Atsushi-kun.”
Atsushi feverishly blinked open his eyes. Brown eyes blinked back down at him, a tuft of fluffed up brown hair laying on his head. Dazai.
He felt ... .so hot. When Atsushi breathed, his throat felt raspy like he needed to cough. Sweat seemed to drip down his forehead and be slick to his white hair. Raining down his face. Atsushi feels long, slender hands gently lift off the blanket covering him. Dazai was never one for sentimentals. Maybe a smile or pat on the shoulder, or a word of encouragement, but it was….nice, though unusual, for him to be so kind. Gentle.
“Da…zai-san,” Atsushi slowly mumbles out, voice croaky and Atsushi instantly coughs. It hurts, his throat feeling so dry. His lips were thirsty, and after his coughing fit, Atsushi licks them wet.
“Sh,” Dazai says, his bandaged hand brushing against his forehead, pushing back Atsushi’s white bangs. “Ah, Atsushi-kun…you’re burning up. How long have you had a fever?”
Atsushi blinks at his blurry figure, “I have…a fe..ver?”
“Well, I suppose you’re no help.”
Atsushi wants to drown instantly, for some seemingly odd reason. He didn't mean to make Dazai upset. He tries, he does. It's just sometimes, he doesn't try hard enough. He wonders if the older one could hear his thoughts. Hm, maybe Atsushi has spoken his thoughts aloud or they tumbled out his ears from his brain. He wonders that because Dazai's hand goes to mingle through Atsushi's hair. The slender hands shifted through the white mess of locks.
Dazai lets out a small sigh. Atsushi wonders if Dazai was mad at him. Another hand goes down to Atsushi's face. Wiping at….tears?
Atsushi must be…so out of it. He had cried. Atsushi hopes Dazai doesn't hate his tears, because he's seen so many of them. Dazai never cries. Sometimes it worries Atsushi.
“Hey, don't be an idiot,” Dazai scolds, though his voice is firm it feels ever so light. “Just stop thinking. Could you do that?”
When Atsushi keeps staring at him, Dazai lets out a chuckle. It doesn’t sound sad, but it doesn’t sound happy either. “Yeah. I can't do that either. Why don't you stay here, I'm going to get you a wet towel.”
“Okay,” Atsushi manages to get out, and he feels mildly proud of himself. Being sick made him feel odd. Think weird things. Besides feeling so out of everything, so hot and cold all at once. Like his body had been taken over by bugs that crawled underneath his skin, nestling in his poor bones. It was a revolting feeling. He hopes he never gets sick again.
The cold fingers leave him, and Atsushi finds himself missing the cold veins and skin. It felt so nice, and the hands were so gentle like Atsushi was glass. He doesn't think anyone has ever laid such gentle hands on him before. Atsushi stares at the ceiling before he hears footsteps. Atsushi turns his head just slightly, having to muster up enough strength to do so. Dazai brings down a cold cloth, the fabric instantly cooling his skin. Atsushi thinks he melted.
Dazai speaks, but it muddles together as Atsushi leans into the cloth. Until Atsushi focuses on his voice, catching it before it flies away in the wind. He hopes Dazai doesn't flow away in the wind. He's too tall….and thin. Doesn’t he know he’s too far from the ground?.... It must be scary.
“-time you feel sick,” Dazai said. “You silly tiger. You’re just as stubborn, you know, like a certain angry doggie I know.”
“You know a doggie?” Atsushi mumbles. “Oh...thought you….hated..dogs.”
He isn't really sure what Dazai says, because his eyes start to feel heavy and his ears start to hurt. Atsushi lets his eyelashes weigh down his skin, and darkness swarms his vision. Engulfing him, with small whispers outside his mind and coldness kissing his skin.
Atsushi wakes up with company. Dazai sits on the edge of his bed, hands flipping through pages on a book. He feels better, his hands are sweaty and he feels so, so tired. But it's better. A cloth, barely damp and barely cold now, laid on his forehead.
“Dazai-san?” Atsushi says, his arms that felt fragile and weak pushing him up. The blanket that covered his body- it's a new blanket, Atsushi distantly realizes- drips off him with the movement.
The brunette boy perks up after hearing his name. Easily, he shuts the book and puts it to the side like it was never there. Atsushi…hopes that Dazai isn't reading his suicide book. Dazai worries Atsushi sometimes, even if he knows that Dazai can handle himself. Even though Dazai goes quiet and his scent seems sadder and heavy, when he thinks no one is looking.
“Oh, you’re awake!” Dazai smiles, eyes crinkling in the way that Atsushi can never tell if his smile is fake or not. Dazai lightly flicks Atsushi's nose. “Atsushi-kun, you left me all alone with Kunikida! You know how much he drilled me about work? It was a nightmare, Atsushi-kun!”
“Maybe you should just do your paperwork,” Atsushi said. His voice was raspy, and he goes to the side to cough into his elbow to clear it.
“Eh!? Atsushi-kun, you’re supposed to be on my side! The betrayal!”
Atsushi reaches to his forehead and takes off the cloth. He pretends not to look at Dazai's hands that go to his coat, fingers clenching and unclenching the fabric. The white haired boy puts the cloth between his own hands, fingers clenching and unclenching it. The soft cloth wiping away the sweat collected between the curves of his fingers.
“Thank you,” Atsushi said, “For taking care of me. I feel much better.”
Dazai rolls back his shoulders, giving Atsushi a carefree smile, even if his ears seem a bit redder than usual. “It was nothing. Yosano-san did all the medicine. I was just here.”
“Well, I enjoy your company.”
“Ah…thank you.” Dazai pushes himself off the bed. “Kyouka-chan and Yosano-san will be back soon. Your fever is gone.”
“Really?” Atsushi said, “I don't remember it.”
Dazai shrugs and takes the cloth from Atsushi, traveling to the sink. Atsushi watches the brunette wet it with cold water before pushing back Atsushi onto the bed. His hands are gentle, again, as he dabs the cloth against Atsushi’s forehead.
“Next time, tell someone when you get sick. Okay? I can't handle Kunikida-kuns pestering anymore!” Dazai scolds.
“I will,” Atsushi squeaks, “I will.”
“The office was so empty without you, you know, Atsushi-kun?”