Work Text:
Music loud, windows down, sky dark, those kind of drives always seemed over hyped in movie scenes. Something played up and was only really appealing due to scenic lighting. Nothing was ever that nice, right?
Wrong!
It was realistic to tell yourself everything was nicer in movies; it wasn't pessimistic, it was just honest. At least that's what Jongseob had told himself his whole life. Looking back on that, maybe it was just coping with a lack of experience. It's not exactly like his life ever gave him room to experience things most people did.
Especially not things only seen in romcoms, romance was a whole different and forbidden world from the one Jongseob lived in.
At least until recently, sorta.
Maybe he wouldn't call it romance, a silly crush due to a lack of connection? Sure, that was fine, but romance crossed a line into something dangerous.
Especially with Haku Shota.
Who is exactly what caused this entire midlife crisis. Was it midlife if Jongseob was only 20? At the rate he's living off convenience store food and three hours of sleep, it might as well be. Maybe cutting back on convenience store food would solve a few of his current problems. It's what got him in this situation currently, and if he could go back two weeks into the past and let himself know that no, instant ramen really wasnt worth this stress, he would.
See, Soul decided getting his license recently was a great idea because he'd always wanted a car anyway. A nice one at that, a 2021 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray, whatever the hell that meant at least. All Jongseob really knew about the car was that it was grey, it only had 2 doors, the roof came off, and most importantly, Shota loved it.
Shota loved it enough to use any excuse in the world to drive it around. Their dorm was in no way located in a position where they needed to drive for late-night food. Actually, Jongseob was fairly certain they had a convenience store literally across the street.
But almost every other night for two weeks now Shota has insisted on going to get 'something sweet' or 'something sour' or 'something salty' because somehow nothing in the dorm would satisfy his cravings. And somehow, the convenience store across the street certainly wouldn't have what he wanted. And somehow going out alone wasnt safe for a five-foot-eleven-inch-tall grown adult man.
Whatever excuse he had really didn't matter anyway because Jongseob never told him no.
So whenever the sun had set long enough for the roads to be mostly empty and the stars clearly visible, Soul would make his way into Jongseob's room. The same routine each time: he'd throw himself onto Jongseob's bed, whether or not Jongseob himself was already in it. He'd play on his phone and pretend like his keys didn't already jingle loudly in his pocket, giving away his intentions. Then he'd groan about being hungry, say it was cooler outside now, or how he wondered what the stars looked like tonight. Each time, Jongseob would stay silent, just nodding along—there was no point in responding when he always followed along anyway.
Like every night this happened, after 10 minutes of whining, Soul would suddenly sit straight up. Like he had this grand new idea that nobody would've expected. That Jongseob should come with him to the 'good convenience store' 'you know the one out by the sea'.
For someone who sleeps very minimally already, you'd think Jongseob would respect himself enough to say the sea was too far of a drive this late at night. They had work early, and he had projects to finish as is. However, his very mild and not serious boy crush on Shota outweighed any form of self-respect he had.
So, as he did every other night this far, Jongseob would just shrug and sling his legs off his bed to put his shoes on.
"We're only going there and back; tomorrow's schedule is packed." It was a useless thing to say, as Soul did whatever he wanted regardless. Jongseob was going to hate himself in the morning, even if they went and came straight back, there's no way he'd sleep. He hadn't slept much at all since this whole car situation came into his life.
"I know I already checked, that's what made me hungry." Only Soul would get hungry looking at work; anyone else would lose their appetite altogether. Jongseob supposed it was kinda charming of him, "something is off in your head," in a weird way. "It's the lack of sugar, tie your laces faster." Always impatient.
"You're dragging me out in the dead of night when I was already in bed, I'll tie my shoes at whatever speed I want." It was false annoyance, Jongseob wasnt sure he could ever get seriously annoyed with Shota.
"You weren't even in night clothes, you were just lying there, like you knew I'd come in here!"
Shit, guilty. Okay, yeah, maybe Jongseob hadn't stripped himself of these god awfully baggy jeans yet; it'd been three whole days since they went out. So sue him if maybe he delayed changing all night in case Soul came looking for him. He'd argue it was a smart move that worked mostly in his favor. Aside from the awkward choking cough it caused him when standing up, as he was caught.
"You wish, I just got sidetracked." Pathetic defense as Soul just shrugged, looking not a bit convinced. "Whatever, let's just go, you're paying, I'm not buying food for you kidnapping me."
"Nah, Steph is paying! He said to get him chocolate and handed me a whole wad of cash!" Favorite privilege at its finest, the most Jongseob got from Keeho was a stick of gum and a coin for the vending machine? There was no point in responding to that, so he just rolled his eyes and followed Shota out the door.
It was cooler out, and the wind stung his cheeks while they walked down the parking deck. Their dorms and company building shared the same parking deck, so there were more than just Shota's car out. None stood out like his, though, besides how expensive it looked; he had an obnoxious Pokémon license plate. Jongseob had said it was ridiculous when Soul showed him it. It didn't fit the car at all, but it was so Shota, and he was so excited when he found it that it didn't even matter.
"I want aux." It had been silent too long; he felt the need to say something as he waited at the passenger side, waiting for Shota to unlock the doors. He was looking over the roof at Shota pulling his keys from his pocket, awaiting a response. He didn't get one; all Soul did was smile. It left waves through his stomach; there was no way he was going to get food after that.
The doors to the car opened vertically. The first time Jongseob saw it, he thought it looked insane. Soul said it was like wings and that it was cool, something about being called butterfly doors. Jongseob decided that was also very... Shota. He supposed it was pretty cool too, then.
It was loud when it started, not enough to disturb anyone, but enough to make him jump while putting his seatbelt on. He still wasnt used to it, maybe he was just anxious. Soul laughed when he did, so maybe he didn't want to get used to it.
"Connect your phone, it won't let you once we're moving." Soul didn't explain how to do that, but Jongseob had watched him do it enough to know what to click anyway. Maybe he had a problem with watching Soul too closely. No, he was just easily distracted, that's all. Like now, while Soul fumbled with the button to roll the hood back. Jongseob would've argued it's too cold for that, but Soul liked the wind on his face.
He'll just focus on picking music instead.
Would it have been weird to make a playlist exactly for these rides? Jongseob's job was music; his life was, so it probably wasnt that serious. Sitting up at night once they got back, unable to sleep, filling songs into a list that reminded him all about Shota. It wasnt a big deal, he just enjoyed music. Plus, it was easier to have something to shuffle than to fight for the right song every three minutes.
As soon as music poured from the speakers, Soul began backing up from the parking spot. Ateez INCEPTION, maybe a bit forward of a song, but fitting for a 2 AM daydream of the guy in the room next to yours. Less fitting in his passenger seat as he rolls your window down. It didn't have to mean anything; it wouldn't for Shota.
Music to Shota was entirely different than what it was to Jongseob.
Shota felt music like it was just energy that traveled through the ground up into his bones, all one fluid motion. Lyrics were an afterthought to him. Jongseob's version of feeling music was significantly less physical. There was more process and a lot more analyzing; each part of a song meant something.
He was sure each part of a song meant something to Shota as well, but if you were to tier them, lyrics ranked dead last. It's just how he worked, everything at face value and honest.
When they first met, Jongseob mistook Shota for unbelievably naive. He thought Shota was overly trusting; he was wrong, of course. You had to work for his trust; it was just once you had it, you had all of it. Soul was all or nothing once he knew he was 'allowed' to be that way. Some people found that overwhelming, but Jongseob wouldn't want anything other than Shota in full.
"I told you the stars would be out tonight!" Had he said that? Jongseob really wasn't listening to whatever excuses Shota had for dragging him along. He already planned to go anyway; some part of him was sure Shota knew that from the start.
"Aren't you supposed to be focused on the road?" He was, he always was, Shota was probably the safest driver he knew. It was just deflective talk, as it always was with Jongseob. "I'm paying attention! That's why I'm telling you to look at the stars for me, duh." That didn't make any sense, but of course, he'd look for Shota.
"They're bright." Real descriptive, could you be any more vague and dry? "I knew they would be. Aren't you glad I brought you!" Of course, always.
"No, it's cold." It was. Jongseob wasnt a liar, maybe an exaggerator, but not a liar. Though that's hypocritical, considering there's nothing he wouldn't miss in the world to be here right now.
"Boo hoo, you like the cold." He did. Jongseob hated summer; it was hot, and everything was sweaty. Shota liked the summer though, so it wasnt that bad.
"Just drive," He rolled his eyes. He knew Shota didn't see, but he's pretty sure he knew anyway. He had to, he laughed like he always does. Like when Theo gets onto him for his game volume being too loud, and he rolls his eyes, turning it down. Shota always laughs. Part of him thinks he should feel anxious about how Shota notices everything. And he probably is, deep in his chest, there's more than likely butterflies trying to hammer their way out. Up his throat and out his mouth, leaving him coughing and tripping over the words to apologize.
But here? Now?
It only burns in his ears, stings his cheeks in a way he's sure isn't just the wind. It leaves something buzzing behind his eyes like he's being seen for the first time. It should scare him more than it does, but the attention feels so nice for once.
How long had they been driving now? Shouldn't they be there already? Jongseob felt like at least 5 songs had been played by now, all of which have been giving away his feelings. He'd watched the city lights fade enough to be out closer by the sea.
"Soul.. do you know where we're going..?" Now, Jongseob did have bad directional issues, but he's got good pattern recognition, and he's pretty sure this isn't the way they normally go. "We aren't lost.." That wasnt what he asked. "Right... But do you know where we're going..?" GPS existed for a reason; there's literally no way they were lost.
"Yes." Suspicious. Blunt was typical for Shota, yes, but bland was not. The rational part of Jongseob figured he should pull his phone out and look up where they are. The unwavering devotion he had to Soul-part decided he couldn’t be bothered. It was only half worrying away in his mind that they’d now get back even later and he’d be exhausted tomorrow. At least he never planned on buying snacks anyway because this convenience store was nowhere in sight.
It smelled strongly of salt, but he didn’t agree to go to the actual sea. He should’ve known something was up when they’d driven out past all the fluorescent city lights and into the warmer ones.
“I thought we agreed on the store, then back to the dorms.” He should’ve sounded more annoyed. “You work too much.” What did that have to do with anything? And why did Shota care about that right now?
He could see the water now. Shota pulled into public parking, which any other day when the sun was out and it was warm, would’ve been packed full. But it was just them. They were facing the sand and the sea, and it was just them.
“We’re packed with schedules for a while, Steph was showing me before I came to you.” Jongseob knew this already; he was the one who mentioned it before, so what did that have to do with anything? None of this made any sense, and he couldn’t bring himself to look at Shota to figure it out. “I don’t know.. Do you hate it...? We can leave.”
No, he didn’t want that. Shota was rambling now, and Jongseob still couldn’t bring himself to look up.
“No!” He’s pretty sure his voice cracked. It might as well have echoed the whole beach. “I mean, I’m just.. confused..?” He should probably elaborate.
It was silent. Shota had turned the car off when they parked. The hood was still down, and he could still feel the wind. The music had stopped, and all you could hear was the sea. Jongseob was watching the water, the way the stars lit up the waves, but he could feel eyes on him.
Just look at him, is it really that hard? What are you scared of? Shota reading you like he always does?
“You said a while back that you liked the beach, but it was always too bright and hot to visit.” When had he said that? It was nearing winter now, and he was sure the last time he spoke about the sea, it was before summer hit. “I know we’re busy, but i couldn’t figure it out.” How long had Shota been thinking about this?
He always got this way. He’d fixate on something and not talk about it with anyone. It could be frustrating, trying to decipher him and why he’s so worked up about something. You couldn’t even backtrack through the day to see what upset him because it could’ve been something from months ago. Jongseob didn’t mind; he never did, he just wanted to help.
“Steph was whining about work, he’d mentioned working on verses with you, and I thought you’re probably about to get slammed with work. I have to stop waiting.” Shota was nervous. Jongseob could tell. He was half laughing after every sentence, like he does when he’s anxious.
“Thank you, Shota.”
Jongseob didn’t often call him by his given name. Everyone called him Soul; it’s just who he was. It wasn’t much different from Jongseob. Out loud, he was Soul in his head; he was Shota. There were only a few times that the line blurred over.
“I don’t hate it, but you could’ve just..? told me from the start..?” He was laughing; he had to break this tension before it got too serious. Before he slipped up and let the sound of the sea drag him into saying ‘I love you’. “I could not have! You wouldn’t have agreed! I barely even thought about myself."
He wanted to argue that, clearly, he'd thought about it a lot to remember that Jongseob had even said that he liked the beach. "So you bribed me with food I won't even get now, cruel." One day, he'll be brave enough to speak his mind. For now, he'll laugh off the anxiety reminding him what bile feels like burning in your throat.
"Like you eat it. Whatever you buy always ends up in the kitchen for someone else. Yet you never say no to coming."
Can't laugh that one off. Damn Shota and his observations. Suddenly, the waves seem all the less interesting, and the floorboard of Shota's car does, instead. He can feel his head hanging in a way that would make it seem like he was being scolded. "You knew?" In a way, it does feel like he's being scolded. Like he's in trouble, caught doing something he shouldn't have. In a way, it feels like rejection.
"I noticed. I didn't know what it meant. I don't really know now either, but I think..."
"Don't." Jongseob thought it would've sounded rude; it might've, considering he did cut Shota off. But he could hear himself, the way he sounded pathetic and desperate. Like some hurt puppy whining, it was humiliating. He just couldn't listen to this; there was nowhere to run and escape this conversation. He knew where it was headed, and it ended with him coming to terms with unrequited feelings he barely could grasp himself.
"Don't act like that, Seobie, please?" Weak man, Jongseob was a weak, weak man. "Look up? I don't know what you're overthinking right now, but you've got it wrong." He didn't want to look up; he didn't want to face Shota bare with his heart held out like this. The only thing that could make this worse was if he were crying. Thank god he isn't.
"Jongseob." It wasnt said sternly or with anger, so why did that sound so scary? "Soul." It was a bitter laugh leaving his mouth, but it's what he had ot do to get himself to look up. Shota was pouting. It would've been cute if Jongseob wasnt freaking out, well, it is cute, but he can't focus on that. At least he didn't seem mad, or worse, disgusted.
"You were still in your day clothes at nearly 11 at night. It's hard not to notice." He felt sick. Could he have been any less obvious? "Jongseob, would I bring you to the beach to reject you?" There it was, Blunt and to the point, like Shota typically was. He should apologize; it was gross, to like your best friend. He should be sorry he freaked Shota out and ruined their friendship. The whole group was going to be awkward now, and work would be hell..
Wait, what?
At some point, his head drifted back down to the floor, but Jongseob was pretty sure he'd given himself whiplash looking up at Shota now.
His hair wasnt pink anymore, it hadn't been in a while, but the color of his face reminded Jongseob so much of the color it once was. He might have laughed if he wasnt so confused. "What?"
"Did I read this wrong..? I thought..." Please don't make him say it. He could barely admit it out loud to himself yet, and he was supposed to tell Shota now? "I talked over it with Steph months ago, and he said you did..." What? Months ago? "He told me to just watch more and make up my mind... so I did and I thought..." Shota's rambling again, he's pouting and chewing at the skin on his lip. It'll bleed if he keeps that up.
"Wait, Soul, slow down. Months ago?" Jongseob had barely acknowledged that he might have a crush on Shota recently, like, within the last weeks.
"Did you not?" Damn, Shota and his habit of leaning his head when he asked questions. He couldn't bring himself to answer. Hell, he was starting to wonder if they were even talking about the same thing now. "Like me, I mean. Did you not...?" Okay, they were talking about the same thing. The way his heart was probably beating loud enough to be picked up by a microphone proved that.
"Months ago..?" Do you know how to say anything else? At least answer him.
"Yes...? I thought I was reading into it too much, I knew I was, but Steph.." Had Jongseob liked Shota months ago? Maybe he'd liked Shota since he met him.
"You've always gone out of your way to do things for me. Things you don't do for anyone else. If Jiung or Intak asked you to get in the car and drive out far for no reason, you'd laugh like they were joking and then immediately shake your head repeatedly when you realized they were serious. But you waited up, I know you did! You hate wearing your scheduled clothes all day, especially in bed. You used to throw a fit when I would lie on your bed in mine. So why would you still be in them? You don't eat the food we buy, you let Steph or Intak scarf it down the next morning like I won't notice, but I do! You watch me while I drive, I can't see it but I can feel it, I always do, all the time, eyes are always on me and I thought that made me nauseated but when it's you it doesn't!"
He's spiraling, and Jongseob can barely keep up with the speed he's talking now. "Soul, you're talking too fast. I can't keep up." He heard most of it, but he was still processing. Had Shota really noticed all of this? For how long had he known?
"Sorry." He didn't need to be; he didn't need to say that. "I just don't understand, I thought I figured it out..."
"You did." At least that was easier to say than the actual words.
"Did I? Say it." Asshole. Haku Shota was an asshole, and his mission on earth was to make Jongseob regret any thoughts he'd ever had. It was like Shota could read his mind and would immediately make whatever Jongseob feared come true.
"What if I can't?" He could, probably. But he was sure he might vomit immediately after. "You can, though. Why won't you? I already said I wouldn't bring you to the beach to reject... Seob-ah, I like you!" Oh.
Oh.
Hm.
Yeah, that never clicked. Actually, Jongseob never considered that a possibility at all.
"Huh?" He sounded stupid, like Shota was speaking a made-up language.
"I like you, too? You like me, right?" Yes. Very much so. If he wasnt too busy trying to decipher how the hell Shota would ever like him, he would say he's in love with him and probably has been since they started working together. Or more like if he wasnt the world's biggest coward. "None of this makes any sense.." He was talking to himself. It was more of a mumble than a response. He should probably respond. "Answer the question, Jongseob."
"Yes, Soul, I like you." He could vomit. He was definitely going to vomit. "I knew it!!" Whatever was in Shota's laugh must have been laced with antiemetics because suddenly the burning in his throat disappeared.
"You were looking at me like I was crazy, and I started to think I had only convinced myself you liked me back." Back still doesn't sound right. Was he dreaming? Did he pass out waiting for Shota, and this was all one lucid dream?
"How long have you known...?" Jongseob wasn't sure he wanted the answer to that, but oh well, he already asked. "Why do you still look upset?" Why did he answer questions with questions? He wasnt upset; this was all just too much to take in at once. How was he meant to answer that? He couldn't lay it all out when Jongseob barely knew what he was feeling himself.
"Is this not what you wanted? I thought this was a good thing?" He didn't know what he wanted. This was a good thing. He should be bursting at the seams, vibrating with excitement right now. Shota just said he liked him. Shota brought him to the beach at night because he didn't like the heat. Shota had been thinking about him, noticing him, seeing him for who he was and not the face he was forced to put on every day. Shota cared. So why was this so scary? What made him want to run away right now?
"What will everyone else think..." It wasnt really meant to be said aloud. But of course. Of course, that's what his issue was: the team, staff, everyone, what would they think? Did Shota think they could just confess and what? Date? There wasnt time, room, or place for that in this life. There couldn't be.
"Seriously? That's why you're acting like this? If you mean the members, Jongseob, they know. They've probably always known. Before you or me did."
He was probably right. Taeyang noticed everything and then told everyone. It's not like he thought they'd outcast him for this. It's just, things would change. Change was terrifying. Jongseob spent so long building up this life for himself that he wasnt sure something like 'love' was worth destroying it for.
Which maybe it wasnt. But when Shota put the keys back in the ignition for them to leave, he realized it wasnt about that. If you were to ask Jongseob a year ago if a relationship would ever be worth risking his job and lifestyle, he would laugh in your face for joking about that. He still would now if you worded it that way, but if you asked him to risk it all for Shota? He's not sure he'd blink before making the decision.
Maybe it wasnt so hard knowing he did have everyone to back him on this. If they threatened his position over this, he knew he had family waiting at their dorms now to defend him. Plus, his company couldn't afford to lose what he brought. So whatever, Haku Shota was definitely worth changing his life. He started that change the moment they met.
"Wait." Go on, you can't just snatch the keys from him and say nothing. You're starting this horribly.
"I mean- Let's not go back yet..." It was much later, and if they stayed out longer, he's sure Taeyang or Keeho would send staff to drag them home. "Why not? You seem pretty done here. You made up your mind, it's fine, things don't have to change, we can pretend this never happened." He didn't want that. Shota wasnt even looking at him anymore, he had that fake happy tone like when he didn't pull the Pokémon cards he wanted or lost in a game. It clearly bothers him, but he couldn't show it, like he's not allowed.
"I didn't say anything, you can't decide that for me." There was no need to get defensive; the whole issue was because you didn't say anything. "I know you didn't, that's enough of an answer." Shota was upset. How was he supposed to fix this? There was no writing here; he couldn't go back and edit mistakes, clean up lines. Whatever came out of his mouth, Jongseob couldn't just take back.
"I like you, I know I said that. You already knew, it just shocked me.. I wasnt even sure I did until recently." He sounded pathetic. Jongseob hated conversations like these, where he had to be emotionally vulnerable. That wasnt his thing, at least not here, aloud; it was much easier on paper. Could he write about Shota? Not the time for that.
"I'm not sure what you're even saying, Soul, you sorta ambushed me here.." A little deflective? yes! But he needed something to work with; he couldn't just scream out, 'Yes! I want to be your boyfriend and hold hands while you drive and lie in your bed while you watch anime, and kiss right now!!!' Okay, maybe he'd thought just a little bit what it'd be like to be with Shota, but they were just daydreams!
"Oh..? I didn't ask..?" It really did amaze Jongseob how to the point Shota could be. Blunt enough to say he liked Jongseob but not actually ask him out in any way. Then he could pout at imaginary rejection, actually, Jongseob would've taken it the same way, but it didn't count still because Shota never asked him anything!
"Sorry... I was sure you liked me, I thought I could just tell you I liked you too, and then we would kiss... That's what Steph said would happen. I'm realizing he wasnt serious about that..." There were a lot of things to unpack about that, but mainly, why the hell would you ever go to Yoon Stephen Keeho for dating advice? Wasnt he in a 4-way situationship with every other member right now? Whatever Jongseob had bigger things to worry about.
"Soul! Auhhghh!! You can't just say it like that!" Kiss. He said 'Kiss' and you're freaking out like a teenager, you're twenty, Jongseob, this is embarrassing.
"Why not! Steph was all like, "My Soulie, you're stressing over nothing, that boy is whipped! Just be all 'I like you too!' with a smile, then kiss him! the end!" which does sound more like a vague suggestion than an actual plan to follow now..."
Shota seriously took everything at face value. It was cute, but honestly a little concerning. Isn't this how kids got kidnapped, like, oh, there's candy in the van. "You were really worked up about this...?" Part of Jongseob wanted to pout and frown at the thought of Shota losing sleep over him. It pulled at his heart in a way he wasnt aware he was soft in. The other part wanted to kick his feet and giggle like a girl cause ooooo Shota likkkesss you.
"No. Maybe. Yes." So which is it? "Kind of. I was helping with Jiung and Intak, dances and whatnot, and I kept messing up. It was after I got the car, you said the doors were freaky, but I explained them, and you were all like 'okay, I guess that's pretty cool', and you aren't like that with anyone. I couldn't stop thinking about it. Had you done that with other things? And then I realized you had! And all day I would remember more and more, and I was freaking out that you liked me, you totally liked me! I tripped in the choreo, and Jiung got concerned about what was up, and I sorta word vomited it all like I was freaked out by you... And then Intak was like, 'So you like him too? That's why you're so fixated on it, duh.' and then it clicked really hard like oh! I like Seobie. Huh. I didn't know I could like people like that. But I couldn't stop thinking about it, I had to tell you, otherwise it was gonna kill my brain, but I couldn't figure out how, so I asked Steph!"
"Soul, Breathe, you're word vomiting right now." It was cute, but he was gonna pass out from lack of air, and Jongseob didn't have his license, much less know how to drive to get them back to the dorms if he did. "Sorry," He's so out of breath, he's basically huffing out the sound of 'sorry' and not the word. You'd think he'd have better air control than this, being a dancer; maybe it was harder to use with talking. "So will you be my boyfriend now?"
If it were anyone else, it would have been so unromantic and blunt that Jongseob would have said no. But he was still panting for air, and he was smiling like he was never upset to begin with, and it was all just so unfiltered Shota that it was romantic enough to drop the keys to the floorboard and grab the front of Shota's shirt.
"I'm going to kiss you and you can't complain because this was your idea from the start anyway"
The last thing he saw before leaning over the god-awful setup of a middle console in Shota's car was his eyes going wide and his smile just about reaching them.
Jongseob had imagined kissing Shota before, not a lot! but... sometimes. He'd never kissed anyone before, and he really didn't have much of an idea of what he was doing. Whatever his expectations had been had been outmet, though. Shota went into everything headfirst and somehow never failed. It was a skill he was jealous of, but right now couldn't be more grateful for.
He was pretty sure Shota had never kissed anyone before. With the way he had his hands in Jongseob's hair right now, he wanted to second-guess that thought. But each time the anxiety would boil up in his throat, Shotas' spit would wash it back down. There wasnt much room to feel self-conscious about his own abilities when Shota was so overpowering; they never had a chance to shine from the start.
Not that they would, he really did have no clue what he was doing. His hand was still gripping Shota's collar as if he let go, he'd disappear. His other hand was barely holding him up over the center console. It was starting to put an ache in his wrist, but each time he went to lean back, Shota would tug him back forward. Wasnt he just out of breath? Where did he get all the air in his lungs for this?
They should probably stop. Not that Jongseob wanted to. Hell, not even because it was late, they were still technically in public, or because they were slammed with work in just a few hours. Mainly because if Shota didn't stop pulling at the hair Jongseob let grow out at the back of his neck, he'd start to question more things about himself.
"Sho-" That didn't sound like 'Soul'. Whoops. Not like he was given much room to sound like anything, considering Shota immediately whined, pulling him back forward. This was not a fight he could win. "Shota-" Jongseob was pushing at his chest now. He was running completely out of air, actually, he's pretty sure he had no air left in his lungs 5 minutes ago. How long had they been doing this?
Right as Jongseob was about to say fuck all and give back in, he heard his phone ring. It had been so silent before that it scared him, and he shot back in his seat, knocking his head on the door behind him.
"Augh fuck!" It hurt; his ears were ringing, and he definitely had a concussion. This was the end. He could see the light. Actually, that was just a street light; they're still in a parking lot with the hood off Shota's car. "Answer that I'm not!" He had one hand gripping his hand, the other shoving his phone in Shota's direction.
"You sure you want me too?" Literally, who could think they were so important that they needed to ruin this moment for Jongseob? "Just answer it!"
"JONGSEOBIE!!!" No, that added up. That's exactly who would think they're that important. "Where are you? Where's my son? I wanted him home by 9! You're dead, boy!" None of that made sense. Keeho knew where they were, and they had left after 9?
"I'm here, Steph, we're almost back!" Oooooh, Shota's a liar. "Why do you sound winded. I don't hear the car even running?" If Shota sounded winded, Jongseob did not want to know what he sounded like himself.
"Huh? What? Steph, I can't hear you anymore! The car must be messing up the signal! Sorry! We'll be back soon! ByeBye Steph!!" Had Shota always been like this? Actually, yeah, he definitely has.
"We probably have like 10 minutes to get back before he files a missing persons report." Oh yeah, Jongseob definitely sounded way worse than Shota.
"That's an issue cause we're like 20 minutes away..." They were so dead, and by they Jongseob meant himself. Because Shota had favorite privileges. If Jongseob was his boyfriend now, did that mean he got favorite adjacent privileges? Oh wait.
"YES! I will be your boyfriend!" He never actually answered.