Chapter Text
The dreaded wedding bells rang in his mind as he zoned out of the conversation he was hearing over the phone from one of his best friends. Let’s rephrase that: he never thought he’d hear the wedding bells for his best friend if he wasn’t the one getting married to him. The secret was one he’d carry to his grave – or at least he hoped that to be the truth as he wiped the bead of sweat from his brow and continued his work.
***
Years Ago
***
The door to his dorm opened and in walked is new roommate – a man with dirty blonde hair and a weary look on his face. Tango had been about to sit up from his bed when the door burst open even wider and a high spirited man carrying a bin full of clothes and scared the shit out of Tango. Not literally – that would have been embarrassing to do in front of his new roommate – but metaphorically speaking. He was already beginning to regret this whole college thing when the energetic man reached his hand out.
“You must be Grian’s roommate! I’m—”.
“Jimmy! Leave the guy alone, we just got here.” Grian said as he set down his backpack at the university given desk that had a few scuff marks. Tango threw his legs over the edge of his bed. He was almost read to leave when a third person – a woman with pink hair and two storage cubes of trinkets and books? – walked in.
“Are you already causing trouble? I’m so sorry for my brothers’ behavior.” She gestured to both of them, and Grian threw his arms out wide.
“I didn’t do anything!”
Tango gave a nervous laugh before dismissing himself entirely from the situation. Grian could have the room for time being – he needed to take a long walk. He wasn’t much of a people person and having three… energetic people walk in when he least expected it sent Tango into a reclusive state. He’s wishing more and more that he would have splurged the extra loan money on a single in the dorms. ‘Try it!’ they said. ‘you might become friends!’ they said. Well, Tango’s lasted not even 5 seconds before it was too much, but he’s locked himself into this roommate arrangement and he has no way of getting out without wasting about 20 grand in loans.
He walked back to the dorms about 2 hours later debating all of his life choices as he walked in to find Grian reading on the futon he apparently brought under his lofted bed.
“Hey.” Tango choked out as they made eye contact. Grian sat up a bit straighter and closed his book.
“Hi.” They both stared in awkward silence until Grian broke it. “I’m so sorry for scaring you out of the room. It’s your space too and we shouldn’t have chased you out like that.”
“Now hold on there, you didn’t chase me out. I left to give you and your family privacy while moving in.” Tango said on the fly. He didn’t want their relationship to start off on the wrong foot and this white lie seemed like the way to fi—
“Don’t lie. I saw the panic written all over your face. We were too loud, and… sorry.” Grian deflated after getting a little worked up.
Tango crept further into the room and leaned against the frame of his bed. “Let’s start over. I’m Tango, and I hope we can coexist in the same space for the next year.”
Grian gave a brief smile and held out a hand, “I’m Grian, and I’d like to coexist in the same space.” Tango glanced down at the hand before deciding that he should shake it instead of leaving the guy hanging. He got over his shivers before plopping onto his bed and taking out his phone. He saw how Grian flinched briefly at the object, but he returned to reading his book, and Tango doom scrolled on the first social media app he clicked on.
***
“Dude, have you even gone to one of your classes?” Grian asked from the desk as he dropped his pencil on a textbook full of notes. Tango looked up from his laptop and shrugged, to which Grian huffed. Tango’s gaze lingered for a few moments as he watched his roommate return to his work. They had gotten closer despite Tango’s initial reaction to him. It helped that Tango found Grian beautiful even when frustrated at some homework problems.
“I don’t see the point in going to a class that I’m not interested in where I can do all the work in the comfort of my dorm, or when the professor has the strongest accent that I can’t understand.” Now has Tango actually been putting effort into doing the classwork necessary to be passing his classes? Gods no. He was skating by with a few C’s, a D and an A – though the A was in his practical applications class of the other class he had a D in.
“I just don’t get how you can sit in here all day. I hate my classes of course, but I’ll get to the better ones soon enough.”
“You believe the lie the upperclassmen tell you? For shame G. For shame.” Tango glanced back at a his laptop that had words blurring into mush. He wouldn’t spend another minute of his Friday doing pointless work. “There’s apparently a party at the one house just off campus. Maybe we can sneak some alc back in here.”
Grian rolled his eyes, but he also closed his textbook and a notebook. “I’m down for a bit of thievery, but Tim said he was going to visit this weekend.”
“Bring him with. Then we can have someone to blame.” It got a chuckle from Grian, and Tango hopped out of bed to change his shirt into some proper party attire. He threw on a tank and pulled his arms through a red plaid flannel. It was enough to be unassuming while also looking like he belonged.
“You’re serious?” Grian said from behind him, which made Tango jump a bit.
“I mean, why not?” Sure, Jimmy was loud, but Tango wasn’t completely adverse to him hanging out. Not when he was actually making a few friends.
They finished getting ready with an upbeat playlist of classic party songs, and Tango slicked back his hair with a bit of Grian’s gel. Grian just raised a brow at how dressed up he was but shrugged it off once they started drinking the last dredges of their current alcohol stash. The last time they were at a party, they managed to steal half a handle of Bacardi, and they’ve been mixing it with their drinks since then. They needed a big score tonight or else they’d actually have to talk to upperclassmen to get their alc.
Jimmy arrived soon after, and then they were off to the house a couple of blocks away. It was one of those houses that always threw ragers in their basement but wasn’t an actual frat, so it wasn’t as tight with its rules. They normally had a cover fee for any alcohol being consumed, but with so many people walking in and out of the doors it was always hard to keep track. Tango scouted one of their parties before when he and Grian decided that they needed a way to pass time on the weekends, and what better way than drinking stolen alcohol?
Grian’s younger brother looked a bit nervous to be there, but Grian nudged the guy and a smile broke through his fear. “I just can’t believe I’m going to an actual college party. I thought you had to be cool to come to these.” Jimmy said.
“Nah, you just gotta act normal, maybe a bit tipsy so that you appear a bit older, but otherwise it should be a quick grab and go.”
“Grab and go?” Jimmy raised a brow, and Grian turned away a bit too quickly.
“You did tell him what we were doing G, right?” Tango asked.
“I told him we were headed to the party.”
“Grian, what are we doing? Nothing illegal right?” Jimmy looked paler than normal.
“We’re stealing some of the alc at this party.” Tango said nonchalantly, to which Jimmy sputtered and made little noises of disdain.
“Lizzie would be so…”
“Lizzie told me to go out and have fun. This is fun.” Grian tucked a hand into his pocket.
“It’s illegal! Drinking underage? Stealing? This isn’t the way to cope…”
“Shut up, Tim.” Grian seethed. “I’m still getting my work done.”
Jimmy sputtered again, but this time Tango maneuvered his way in between the two brothers. “I think you need to loosen up a bit. This is fun, and if you thought college was full of the perfect little rule followers then you are in for one rude awakening. Drink this.” Tango handed Jimmy the last of his drinks – in fact it was the last of the alcohol – much to Grian’s indignation. Jimmy eyed the drink and looked back at Tango.
“I’m gonna regret this, aren’t I?” Jimmy asked.
“That’s up to you. If you lean into the fun, then you’ll have fun. If you’re set on having a bad time, then you’ll have a bad time.”
Jimmy downed the drink in one go, and Tango whooped so loud that it echoed down the street.
“I can’t believe you just did that Tim. I’m telling Lizzie.” But Grian had the largest look of bewilderment.
They could feel the party before they saw the crowd of people going in and out the doors. There was more set up in the back yard, Tango could tell, so instead of getting stopped by the ‘bouncer’ and bullied into paying the cover fee, Tango slipped his hand into Grian’s and pulled him towards the back. Grian held on tight and reached for Jimmy until they were all around a table playing stack cup or some variant of the game. Tango felt the heat rise as Grian gripped a bit tighter, and he shoved his way through the back door into what looked like the kitchen.
The place was loaded with half-finished drinks strewn about on every available surface except the one counter that housed the alc to make more drinks. Nothing was completely full, but Tango saw some tequila that was only missing a few shots worth of liquid, and nearby there was a fifth of vodka. He pointed them out to Grian, but the man was busy talking with Jimmy. The music downstairs vibrated the floor they stood on, and Tango could hardly hear anything they were saying until Jimmy started walking away.
“Where’s he going!” Tango shouted near Grian’s ear.
“He found a friend that he wants to talk to, the idiot.” Grian yelled back, breath landing on Tango’s neck as Tango watched Jimmy disappear into the crowd. If Tango’s face went more red—well it didn’t but if it did—someone would be able to notice past the strobing lights in the house.
It was bordering overstimulation territory, so Tango said, “Let’s grab the stuff and wait outside then.” Grian nodded and they walked up to the table to take the alc. No one paid them any mind as they both grabbed whatever was the fullest and an unopened seltzer to sip on while they waited.
Jimmy came stumbling out of the place with a friend following behind him who was unable to stand up straight themselves. “Hey, I hate to do this to you Gri, but I’m gonna stay and catch up with them, so don’t wait up for me and all of that.” Jimmy said. If Tango had been drunker, he wouldn’t have found anything odd about the situation. But he was only one drink in, and the whole situation read weird to him. Grian looked pissy at Jimmy’s declaration, but he didn’t want to actually say anything further about it. He shrugged and Jimmy was pulled away by his friend that he couldn’t take his eyes off of, and Tango lost sight of them as they disappeared into the house.
Grian stood up, took a couple gulps of malibu that he had grabbed from the house, and began stomping away from the party. “We’re not just gonna leave him are we?” Tango asked as he chased after Grian.
“If he wants to reconnect with his ex, then who am I to stop him?” Grian said with bitterness.
“Do you not like them or something?” Tango asked, the party quietly fading into the background.
“They cheated on him.” The statement stained the air so much that Grian took another swig of alc, though thankfully it was the seltzer. Tango noticed that they were getting closer to campus, and so he pulled the plastic bag he had stored away in his back pocket to hold whatever they had stolen so that it looked less conspicuous. He did not want to spend the night in jail.
“Then why are we walking away?” Tango asked, taking the Malibu gently from Grian.
“Because I can’t dictate his life, and if he wants to make stupid mistakes then he can. Maybe one day he’ll learn from them.”
It was the last they spoke about Jimmy, and Tango was grateful for it. They made it back to their dorm without question, and Tango prepared two generous helpings of tequila cokes. He passed the heavier one to Grian who thanked him and drank a quarter of the solo cup without issue.
“Are you maybe jealous?” Tango asked after he felt his head loll to the side. They had both sat down on Grian’s futon, and Tango wanted to scooch closer to lay his head on Grian’s shoulder.
“Jealous of Tim? Hardly.” Grian chuckled.
“It’s just, you haven’t mentioned past partners or anything like that since being here. I told you of my couple of past girlfriends.”
“I don’t have the experience.” Grian said slowly. He picked at the rim of his cup, and Tango looked flabbergasted.
“But you’re a catch. Anyone would be lucky to date you.” He was poking around now, and if Tango wasn’t careful, he’d push Grian away and make things awkward.
Grian sighed and took a long dredge of his drink. “I’ve not been interested in any relationships like that.”
Oh. Oh gods, “It’s okay to be ace if that’s what you’re saying,” Tango started.
“No.” Grian said immediately before backtracking, “Well, not completely.” Grian huffed before leaning to lay his head on Tango’s shoulder. Tango froze in place. “I want to be able to kiss someone, maybe even have sex, but I want it to be someone I trust and have gotten to know. I just can’t envision myself getting with a stranger or someone I met a couple of times.”
“So demi-sexual?” Tango queried. He was met with a head nodding on his shoulder. “That’s cool. I’m bi, if you ever wanted to talk about anything.”
Grian turned his head so that his chin was resting on Tango’s shoulder and he was centimeters from Tango’s face. If Tango turned to face him, he’d be kissing him. Tango felt the heat creep up his cheeks and turned away to try and hide it.
“Do you like me?” Grian asked. Tango could smell the tequila on his breath, but his own was probably no better. He didn’t want to answer the question, but he nodded anyways. A heavy pressure weighed itself down on his chest as he awaited rejection, to be called a freak, to be accused of trying to manipulate Grian while he was upset.
Instead he felt a finger hook his chin and turn it towards the man he was scared to confront at that moment. Luckily, Grian had lifted his head and put some distance in between them so they could properly see each other. Tango stared into his roommate’s eyes as his roommate scanned his entire face, slowing on his lips and then to meet Tango’s gaze. It made Tango’s breath catch in his throat, and he risked a glance to Grian’s soft looking lips.
“Grian, I really want to kiss you right now.” Tango spoke candidly.
“I can’t handle being hurt.” Grian replied. His gaze landed in his lap, and Tango lost that urge completely and pulled Grian into a tight hug.
“I promise I won’t hurt you if its within my power to do so.” After Tango said that, he was shoved out of the hug, and he was prepared to be kicked out of the room when two hands pulled his head forwards and lips smashed against his.
***
It was honestly a strange predicament. Grian wasn’t going to be back from his impromptu end of semester trip with Mumbo for another day, but Jimmy was here right now.
He’d be here for the entire day, but he didn’t want to go out and meet people. Tango felt like a bad host if he just left his situationship’s brother alone in the dorm, but he also couldn’t stand being in the room any longer because he’d been rotting for days while trying and failing to study for his finals. Spending eight hours of the day watching videos of lectures he didn’t bother showing up for was draining, especially for a subject he didn’t care for, and he was already accepting the failing grade that he’d get in the class.
Jimmy sighed again from the futon, and Tango slammed his laptop closed and threw himself off his bed to get into a sweatshirt. Jimmy startled at the sudden movements but remained like a deer in headlights when Tango looked him up and down and gestured to the door.
“Are you going to be boring and rot on G’s futon until he gets here tomorrow afternoon or are you going to join me on whatever adventure I find myself going on?”
“You actually want to hang out with me?” Jimmy asked as if he was shocked.
“Well, duh. Otherwise I’d have left already.” Tango gestured with his thumb to the door behind him.
Jimmy pulled himself up from the futon with the edge of Grian’s lofted bed and was suddenly buzzing with energy. If Tango hadn’t known Jimmy, it would have offput him, but now it was just Jimmy.
Tango led the way out of the dorm and just started walking towards the main area of campus life. It was that one street full of places to eat that is just off campus and houses the best bars on campus – not that Tango was going to try and get into the bars.
They walked by the student union building and Tango slowed his walk, glancing at the one door with the dimly lit sign that said ‘bowling’. He hadn’t been to the bowling alley yet, and with finals finishing up and students leaving for winter break, he doubted it’d be busy there. He walked down the stairs with Jimmy following closely behind and was met with an eight lane bowling alley that has seen better days. Tango walked by the counter to see that on the other side was a few rows of pool tables.
“Do you have a preference or?” Tango gestured to either place, and Jimmy pointed back towards the pool tables. They began walking around the corner when they were met the glows of four arcade machines. Tango saw the classic pinball machine, Galaga, and Space Invaders and had to force himself to keep walking by. He’d have to come back to play those later.
From the other side of the counter they were able to pay the five dollars for the balls to play pool, and Tango pretended to understand how the game worked overall. Luckily Jimmy knew, and he was able to help guide Tango through the proper rules of 9-ball. He said 9-ball went faster than 8-ball because the focus was to get the 9 ball in the pocket while hitting the lowest number ball on the table first.
Jimmy arranged the balls into a diamond and slid the unused ones into the pockets. He took the break and managed to hit the green ball in, and then he continued walking around the table, lining up shots starting with the 1 ball and making it the four before he missed.
“Where’d you get this good at pool?” Tango asked as he fumbled and clipped the edge of the cue ball. Jimmy gave a small smile as he moved the ball back for Tango to try again.
“One of my exes competed on a national level. I had to know what I was talking about in order to stand a chance.” Jimmy watched as Tango whiffed again, and he helped adjust Tango’s hand with his own on the table to better support the cue. Tango got red in embarrassment, but when he aimed for the five ball this time, he managed to hit it in one of the corner pockets.
Now that he had a good grip, he was able to easily sink balls in, because he understood the geometry. It was satisfying when he sank the nine ball into the final pocket, and he turned to Jimmy with a smug grin.
Jimmy grinned back and said, “Well look a that! You’re a natural.” They both started re-racking for another game, and this time Jimmy didn’t hold back. He played riskier shots, but it paid off when he hit the two into the nine and won. Tango gaped at how quickly he had lost – he hadn’t even gotten to try!
It went like that for a while, Tango sometimes breaking and sinking a few balls into the pockets, but then he’d miss and it’d set Jimmy up for the perfect shots that just looked effortlessly done. It got to a point where Tango started implementing handicaps so that he stood a chance, but unfortunately playing left handed didn’t hinder Jimmy too much.
“I could try only doing bank or behind the back shots.” Jimmy said as Tango made another frustrated sound.
“Both?” Tango said with a hopeless laugh, and Jimmy agreed, saying it’d be fun. It finally felt like they were on a level playing field, and Tango had so much fun that he even tried trick shots because Jimmy made it look so easy. They weren’t even competing anymore, just trying more and more difficult shots until they both were missing more often than not. The clerk that had been watching over a rather empty bowling alley warned them that they had five minutes until closing, so they packed everything away and started back towards the dorms.
“That was actually so much fun. Do you and Gri do stuff like this all the time? Is this the college experience?” Jimmy asked on the walk.
“I wish it was like this all the time, but unfortunately there is actually going to class and studying for those classes even if you hate them, on top of also being a broke college student.” Tango said, walking on the ledge of the sidewalk and balancing alongside Jimmy.
“I forgot about that part.” Jimmy said with a laugh.
“Yeah. Meeting people here was great, but the classes are definitely a step up from high school. And when you don’t actually have a degree plan, it makes it so much worse because you get shoved in classes you aren’t interested in.” Tango realized how pessimistic he sounded, so he quickly covered it with a, “but if you’re like G and have degree that isn’t exploratory studies, then it’s more bearable because you know you’re working towards what you want to do in life.”
“I’m hoping to be a teacher. PE if I’m lucky, but I’d also be okay with something like English.” Jimmy said with a starry-eyed look. It was the look of someone who knew how to answer the ‘where do you see yourself in 5-10 years’ question. Tango wasn’t able to answer that question.
“Good for you. How’s college apps been going?”
“All submitted and ready to go. I’ve heard back from a couple, but they aren’t the ones I’m looking to hear from.”
“I only applied here to satisfy my parents’ wishes. Unfortunately for me I got in, but I guess there were some perks to being 30k in debt.”
“You keep sounding so negative about this all. Where would you rather be if not here?” Jimmy asked.
Tango stopped walking for a moment, but he started again when he lagged behind Jimmy a bit too far. “I don’t know. Nothing’s really been super interesting to me, but my parents kinda pressured me into college because having a degree was better than nothing.”
“I get that. If anything it’s a pay boost.” Jimmy said optimistically.
“Yeah… but I’ve looked into the trade school in the area recently. One of my classes is about mechanics, and I’ve been more interested in that than everything else. I talked with my professor about it and he recommended looking at my options because they don’t offer a degree quite like what I’m looking for.”
“Well what’s stopping you? Wouldn’t it be better to be learning stuff for something you enjoy?”
Tango couldn’t just outright say that his brother was a pretty significant factor, but also all of the other friends he made. “I don’t think I’d like starting over again somewhere new. If I do end up dropping out, I want to stick around here.”
“That makes sense. Grian says that you both are a part of a pretty decent sized friend group here. I can’t imagine that something easy to leave behind completely.”
They walked in silence for a few minutes. Tango moved away from the edge of the sidewalk so that he was no longer balancing, and Jimmy gave him a bit of extra space.
“Thanks for getting me out of that dorm room. I was bored out of my mind.” Jimmy said.
“Don’t you have people you know on campus? You disappeared that one night at the party.”
“Gods, don’t remind me of that.” Jimmy said as he ran his hands over his face.
“Grian only told me that you got back alright and were heading home instead of sticking around longer.” Tango said back.
“Well, my ex was trying to get back together with me after it reached like 3 am or something crazy like that. I considered it until I woke up the next morning to find them making out with another girl. Guess they weren’t all that serious.”
“I’m sorry. That sucks.”
“Nah it’s alright. I think I’d benefit from some single me time. Discover who I am and whatnot.” Jimmy said with sparkle hands. It made Tango laugh and Jimmy joined that laughter.
“You’ll figure it out. I believe in you.” A hefty breeze blew in as he finished speaking, and Tango realized that he didn’t have a heavy enough coat to stave off the wind. He wrapped his arms around himself as they walked, but then something was draped over his shoulders.
Tango caught Jimmy pulling away, now without his denim jacket, and Tango was about to protest when Jimmy spoke, “I run warm anyways. I can make it back to the dorms just fine.”
Jimmy ended up leaving with a cough and runny nose after Grian arrived, which Tango noticed and poked fun at the brother who put someone else before him. Grian joined in with Tango as he finished packing for the winter break. Tango waved goodbye as he was left in the dorm to study for his last final at 7am the next day.
***
“I think I’m going to drop out.” Tango said to the ceiling one day, not trying to talk to anyone in particular even though there was only one person in the room.
“I’d like to see you try.” Grian said absentmindedly. It wasn’t the first time Tango had said this. In fact, he used it as a threat multiple times to his roommate. Tango pushed his weight onto his elbow as he turned to face Grian’s desk.
“No, I think I’m serious G.” Grian turned to see the conflicted look on Tango’s face.
“Alright. Any big decision needs a pros and cons list. Let me hear it.”
“Well, I’m already failing half of my classes after getting onto probation from grades last semester, so a pro would be to not have to worry about taking pointless classes.”
“Alright, what would you do instead?” Grian probed.
Tango looked down at his hands and then at his small pack of tools strewn about his desk for the one class he actually enjoys. Basic mechanics. “I think I’d go to trade school or work in an autobody shop. I like working with my hands.”
There was a joke in there, Tango heard it, but thankfully Grian ignored it. “Ok, what’s stopping you?”
It was a loaded question. “My parents want me to get a degree.” It was his cop-out answer, and they both knew it. Tango droned on in multiple occasions to Grian about how he’d been pressured into college, and Tango didn’t know what he wanted to do in life so why not. But he’d beaten that response to a pulp. The dead stare Tango received made him huff in annoyance.
“Ok fine, my friends are here.”
“Like they’d let you lose touch. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Mumbo is quite attached, Doc is a softie beyond his stoney exterior, Cleo wouldn’t let you get away that easily, and I’m pretty sure Jimmy only visits me to see you.”
Tango noticed that Grian left out many others, like Skizz who had been doing his darndest to help Tango study, or Etho who had stuck around to hear Tango’s wacky ideas for video games. But most importantly, he left out himself, and Tango was worried to no end about it.
“And what would you do?” Tango asked under his breath. Grian tapped his fingers on the side of his chair and then began fidgeting with his nails before Tango held out his hand. Grian pulled himself up from his chair, reaching for Tango’s hand as he had done many times before, and crawled into Tango’s bed next to him to rest his head on Tango’s shoulder. Grian began tracing shapes into Tango’s hand, at first it had been squiggled lines that might have been stars, and then some triangles, and finally the slow but methodical tracing of circles.
“This isn’t fair to you.” Grian whispered quietly. His tracing stopped before Tango gave he hand he was holding a small squeeze.
“I don’t mind. I’d do anything for you.” Tango’s heart beat strong in his chest, it was something that he found happening more recently. He knew he had liked Grian before, but it mutated into this love that Tango didn’t know what to do with.
“Tango…” Grian pulled his hand away, but Tango left it there for whenever Grian need it again. “I want to stay friends.”
His heart dropped, but he tried reaching out. “We are friends.”
“I don’t want anything further romantically. And it’s not fair that I keep coming to you for comfort for my panic attacks and for taking advantage of you like this…”
“You aren’t taking advantage of me. I would be there for any one of my friends.”
“But you still have feelings for me. Even if you don’t see it that way, I’m taking advantage of that. If I say that I want you to stay because you’ve become one of my best friends, that’s manipulative and not the person I want to be because you’d do it.”
Tango wanted to reassure him back, but he was still processing it all for himself. He was already losing him despite how strongly he felt the love for him. “Was it something I did?” He asked, though he regretted the question immediately. He shouldn’t be trying to salvage a relationship that’s already sunk, but save the friendship that had water leaking in.
“No. No it’s all my fault. I just don’t see a future with you? And that’s so fucked up of me because you’ve been nothing but kind and caring and I’m a piece of shi…”
“Hey hey hey. If you don’t see a future with me in it, then that’s that. You don’t need a reason to break up with someone or to stop seeing them when there is romantic interest involved.” Their romantic relationship hadn’t even set sail, but Tango didn’t want to feel like he was trapping Grian into anything. It would make him feel horrible, and he doesn’t want Grian to feel trapped.
“But I’m hurting you and hurting you hurts me. I didn’t mean it Tango.” Grian had tears on his cheeks now, and Tango had pulled Grian into a tight hug. Pressure seemed to help Grian calm down too sometimes.
He pressed his mouth towards Grian’s forehead. “It’s alright. It’s alright if you did.” Tango whispered into Grian’s hair. He was coming to terms with the fact that they’d never work out no matter how much love he gave because Grian didn’t know what to do with that love.
“N..n..no. You are in my future. I wouldn’t let yo-you leave me like that. You’re one of my best-st friends. You’d be by my side al-always.” Grian hiccuped as he buried his head in the crook of Tango’s neck.
“I wouldn’t let you go that easily either. I love you too much for that.” It slipped out, but Tango needed Grian to know that he still loved him despite everything. Even if right now it was a romantic love, it could morph into friendship love. Grian didn’t need to know that he felt differently.
“I l-love you too.” Grian muffled. It filled Tango with such warmth to hear the words returned, even if it wasn’t in the same way. They stayed in each other’s arms until they passed out from exhaustion, and when Tango woke up first, he cherished the possible last moments he’d have with G like this. It was wrong of him to do, especially when he had never once lied to Grian about his emotions after being caught on the day they met, but he knew his love for G would take time to fade, months, if not years. Especially if they were still going to try and stay in each other’s lives.
They would need distance. Trade school would be the perfect excuse for distance. It’d hurt Tango like a bitch, trying to get over someone who he cared so deeply for, but he’d try to do it just to keep him in his life for as long as possible. They were roommates after all.