Work Text:
9 years earlier.
1st of January, 2010.
Sleep was a… curious phenomenon.
Leehan had read about it before, the manual of 'Rules & Regulations for Angelic Mortality' was obligatory for anyone who submitted themselves to tasks in the human world and his superiors, though usually callous to his ways, demanded him memorize their writings to the point of being able to recite them at will. Yet, unlike the monotonous tone and clinical terms that filled its paragraphs, sleep like all other functions of a mortal existence was far more riveting than Heaven’s seemed to believe. At least, for the young angel, the very act of feeling breath enter his lungs outweighed the decades of sterile white and disciplinary protocols from them.
Sleep was a discovery he was content in making.
Blinking his eyes open, slumber gave way to a mix of calmness and eagerness as the feat of waking felt proper for one discovering a whole new way of being from scratch. The previous darkness was much like a blanket of muteness, empty though not lonely, simply content to be.
The view of a sky painted in shades of warm orange felt like a comforting welcome image, few balls of cotton like clouds drifted by as the angel took things in. In a quiet attempt to test his body's basic functions.
He experimented with moving his new body, rolling from his back onto his side, feeling the strange, shifting surface beneath him, something noisy that clung to his skin. His fingers didn’t hesitate to extend toward it and try to grab it, feeling the weight disappear as if falling through and by looking he understood what he was laying on: sand.
Sand was a bit too strange for a first introduction, but not too uncomfortable. He could see himself liking it with enough time.
However, for more he touched sand to try and understand it through his fingers, a sound—a low, rhythmic roar—pulled his attention away. He looked up, and his breath caught. All thought of the noisy grains vanished. Before him stretched an immensity of unfathomable tones of blue bringing forth a briny scent and compelling orchestra of waves.
At the time, Leehan couldn’t describe what looking at the ocean for the first time felt like.
Admiration shaped words in his mind to express it, but the angel was voiceless, beholding the glittering waters in complete silence.
Only decades later would this understanding be made, that the unnameable feelings were those of a love at first sight which can sink or float a heart with a single glance, an enigma for the newly mortal angel to unravel its facets in the coming times.
The setting sun went on its path, saying goodbye to all who chose to watch it and Leehan let himself rise to standing in the waters, feet feeling the cold caress of the sea and mushy support from the sand.
No one broke his sole moment of wonder, he seemed to have woken in a more secluded part of the unknown beach and his company was only that of nature. They were such a fascinating companion though, the darken sky and chilling breeze, that Leehan forgot the novel ways of a mortal life he would be subjected to as the rumbling deep in his stomach surely complained for.
Because being mortal meant adjustments to both liberties and limitations of mortality in many ways, food was one of them.
Looking away from the horizon and its waves the angel searched for signs of people in the space, finding a small constructed wooden staircase that led from the beach to what was probably a road of some sort.
In a last lingering appraisal of the environment, Leehan stepped away from shore and headed towards the path, noting the way his wet feet stepped into the old wooden steps then into less arid ground.
Moments passed before he found a small place, the welcoming sign of 'Park Convenience' was hanging crooked and its colorful baby blue color had begun peeling off. However, neither that nor the hints of dirt in the outside glass, the few cigarette bumps on the floor, dissuaded Leehan’s enthralled stare.
He instinctively glanced towards the small silver bell of the entrance as it chimed, a surprise of a short and sweet melody breaking his mostly silent experience. Leehan wondered if each small sound was unique, or if he’d need to sharpen his hearing to catch the song in every place.
That revelry faded though as the rest of the store’s details called to his big wandering eyes, cold colors and shifting shapes of items filled the five small corridors all illuminated by a paler led lighting. It created a funny contrast with the angel's natural halo, its yellowish tint closer to the warmth of the sun even as it was softened in those first moments.
His halo was another aspect he never quite learned how to manage following Heaven’s instructions, as if the manual mechanisms of control felt only valid for those who could dominate feelings with a steady hand. An expected trait for professional beings from the skies, but it was an inconceivable demand to Leehan’s very essence. At least his light was not deemed a flaw that affected his duties in the mortal world, according to the approval of his requested mission to his manager.
Though Leehan wouldn’t voice his thoughts out loud to the panel of rigorous angels that permitted his shift, unless seeking a whole new level of reprehension, the way in which his obvious flaws in the eyes of his kin wouldn’t be that unsightly to humanity was another driving force that led him to choosing mortality.
Roaming through the minuscule aisles, attentive to the many colorful fonts of juices and cartoon characters in snacks, Leehan continued to quietly absorb the new reality unrevealing in front of him.
Walking away from the final section full of technology nicknacks, the angel met eyes with the only other person present in the space, an older male who was probably the shop's owner himself if the name tag ‘Park Jihoon’ was a hint. He would put the elder to being in his early or mid 50's, marks of age such as white hairs and wrinkles at the corner of his doe eyes guiding his perceptions.
Mr.Park also had a gentle air to him, the soft fabric of his cardigan, maroon reading glasses and careful way of writing the answers in his newspaper crosswords showed it while his actual words proved this further, “Evening lad, did you find what you were looking for or can I help you in some way?”
The more throaty korean syllables filled the air softly and Leehan felt himself unknowingly nod along, closing distance to stand just in front of the old man’s counter. His own deep tone pronounced the first question of his new life: “I’m wandering around, could you tell me about this place?”
Perhaps it was the intrigue by the way the angel spoke his asking so honestly or even the notion of needing that sort of explanation, but the man stopped writing crosswords, ignoring Leehan’s improper disregard of honorifics to instead directly meet his brown warm eyes with a look. Old eyes searched for clarification, only to find big pools of curiosity brimming from the unseen specks of gold, burning with unique sensations for an angel like himself.
Nevertheless, the elder must have read the hint of child-like wonder in the immortal to justify his answering grin.
The next couple of hours were spent on a natural flow of sharing his life experience, Mr.Park introduced his hometown to the angel in all the ways he found fitting, from the textbook facts to the small snippets of his life within it, ushering him drag the wooden bench by the window towards the balcony as the stories went on.
“Busan is a wonder of the world to me, my sunny home by the sea, full of colors and possibility. Did you come in a vacation before researching it?” The man required after his single audience remained silent in the shifting tales, himself curious.
Leehan felt a smile glue itself on his lips, so extremely grateful for the kind stranger who spoke of funny anecdotes and neighborhood tips, riches in the face of a shallow request. Though the reality was not one to be fully shared with the human, he found a way to be sincere enough in his reply, “In a way, I know what others have said to me about it, but not nearly the same as what someone has lived.”
“You're lucky you're young! Youth is the time to be reckless, but careful not to be too adventurous, understand?” He spoke with a chuckle in his voice and it hit something within the other with dead aim.
As if his happiness had been the growing water filling a jar, every small leeway of consideration in the old man, the way he shared glimpses of moments of laughter from his childhood, little options to deal with difficulties he might have as in this foreign land or the soft optimism about Busan’s qualities that he was sure Leehan would “grow to love”, it was all litters of joyful emotions that pour into his being.
It rose up, warming his still unfamiliar mortal existence towards a one of comfort, liquid filling the jar more and more and more until that last humorous advice became the drop to spill it all.
Leehan knew then and there how Park Jihoon was a kind soul worthy of goodness, someone who should find rewards for the care he willingly extended to another and that overcame the pull of the strong bright feelings Leehan was filled by.
So, the decision to bless him was one well suited, consciously controlled…
“I'm sure whatever you find in this adventure will grant you worthy stories for a lifetime.”
But subconsciously, the jar burst and tainted his words with power beyond understanding.
The angel flinched in pain as his limbs gained a temperature close to feverish, a dull ache also inflicted on his temple as soon as the magnitude of power hit its peak. In the seconds of feeling it, how his halo flashed in the goldest of yellows, Leehan caught on to the disorienting flush of power to hear a new voice speak from a forgotten tv by the back of the store.
“We are coming live to announce that the new year’s lottery winner has been picked! The numbers are 28-11-01-06-83. Repeat, our winner of 2 billion won is…”
Mr.Park jumped in his seat as if someone awoke him from a nap, fussing for something in his aprons pocket far quicker than once would expect given the mellow and calm ways of his previous behavior. He searched with a hint of despair until finding a small piece of paper in the back pocket of his trousers, with a slight shake to his pale hands, of blue veins and spread freckles, old man Jihoon mutely read the numbers in the paper with the announcing winner’s combination in sync, a complete match.
The angel felt like a spectator of the motions that followed, seeing the euphoria filling the older as he raced home almost immediately, forgetting the quiet crosswords, worn glasses, entertained visitor and the shabby yet nice store in its entirety.
A ringing of the entrance bell was an unintentional sounding off, the note of a closing door of a scene left behind.
The happiness of having brought such vibrating liveliness to someone who he knew was deserving, good, was there, but it didn’t fully ease the knot on his throat.
The magic which forcefully shifted the old man’s path of life irreversibly was a bitter pill to swallow.
One he would have to, as life with mortals was shown to be limitless in both what Leehan could be affected by and affect in return.
— Ꮚ˘ ꈊ ˘ Ꮚ —
6th of March, 2019.
Neither knew when they passed by the vegetable aisle both had been heading towards, but it's not like either realized. They were too deep into their argument to do so.
“But what if I just—” Leehan started.
“No.”
“—I could minimize the—” Taesan quickly shut him down as they walked into another corridor, “The answer is still no.” The angel walked faster to catch up to his relentless pace, only able to see his side profile and back as those red eyes roamed the lines of soda cans. “Please just listen to me-”
“Oh I have been, but I can hear the very dangerous ‘what if’s’ that you're apparently deaf to.” It’s the retort he gained, the demon grabbed a couple items with a dash more strength than needed as his voice gained a harder edge.
Leehan stepped right to his left side, voice wavering while the words fell from his pinkish lips with more hurt, “Do you not believe in me?”
A deep breath to compose the instinctual sharpness that almost tainted his words, Taesan acknowledged the other and, locking eyes with the deep pools of golden flocks and amber hues, came a more supple response. “It’s not about believing, Angel, it’s about the risks being too high.”
The local grocery story public barely minded the arguing couple stuck in the drink aisle, a few stray customers passed by them unheard and the staff didn’t look twice to the corridors either. A casual Thursday afternoon was the stage of only London’s most subdued crowd, British elderly replacing their tea stocks and lone young adults grabbing things for the rest of the week.
Both of them mingled in with them well enough, the demon in his usual black clothes while the angel wore lighter shades green and brown, almost opposing aesthetics but common within the Londoners as they have become in their months together living in the city.
It was just their luck that Shoreditch regulars kept to themselves and didn’t listen in on arguments between supernatural beings, regardless of how humanizing their ‘couples fight’ made them seem.
The blond’s smooth features turned into a frown, unwilling to hide the growing anguish with their discussion, “I can do this without putting us in danger! Just… try to trust me a little?”
But his company went on to leave the space, walking steadfast from one aisle to the one across from it filled by colorful packages, yet not less keen in answering with that classic Han Dongmin veracity. “It’s not just us, it’s Jaehyun himself! He’s a regular-ass person and who knows what side-effects there will be by doing this?”
“I’m just trying to help!”
Except his plea only made the demon more distressed.
Taesan messed his dark hair in a harsh gesture, the frustration hitting a new height, “And your help might make him a completely different person—you might turn my best friend into a weird music genius, and that's if it doesn't affect the entire student body! And what do we do with the spotlight which might be enough for our bosses finally give a flying fuck to our asses? Do you want Heaven’s interrogation? Them barging into our lives here?? ‘Cause I really fucking don’t!”
“It’s a little blessing for luck on his work! The backlash won’t be that big!” The angel argued, stepping even closer and he attempted to grab the edge of his jacket and pull him into actually listening to his words.
The other backed away in a couple of steps followed by a bitter laugh, “I have known you for years, the backlash is never small with you involved. Do you want me to list it chronologically or alphabetically??”
"And when was the last time you even saw me try? You have no idea what I am capable of now! Those years apart didn't just change you, Dongmin-ah!"
The sharp words cut through the space between them, hanging in the air of the cereal aisle.
The demon stopped walking, standing utterly still.
Then, he shifted to look at him.
The angel stayed put, lingering in front of the shelves of cereals with a determined look in his warm eyes, halo glowing in a stubborn orange shade reflecting his heated inner emotions and seeing such only made Taesan shake his head in a mute denial.
The heat in Leehan's chest ignited.
Propelled by a burning frustration, he turned on his heel and strode out of the aisle before Taesan could respond. Without second guessing he exited the aisle and immediately spotted lines to the cashier, seeing an adorable old lady having a hard time counting her coins and making the snap decision to prove with actions since words weren’t getting through Dongmin.
It was with emotions high that the familiar feeling of his power manifested in a rush of energy, only his fingers felt the tingle at a painful degree, burning till near numbness and in a slip second the angel could barely take in a breath as the his magic flooded him like a furious wave drowning his senses.
The burst of his halo was much like a flare ignition as he couldn't have tried to hear Taesan's sharp gasp, not over the roaring blast of magic in his own ears.
The sound that first broke the aftershock was of several mechanical dings from the various registers, chiming one after the other like some sort of robot symphony.
“What?! Ma’am I’m so sorry-Harry! Did the energy go out or something?!”
“Huh?! There’s a discount system on everything???”
“Excuse-me, I have to call management! Where’s Linda?! All her stuff is saying it’s now free?!? What the bloody HELL!!”
In the shouting and shock of the mortals, both beings stood side-by-side in utter silence.
Staring at an all-too-baffling aftermath.
Taesan’s shoulders, which had been tense with argument, slumped in resignation. His breath left his lips in an exasperated sigh, yet the angel refused to look towards him as the chaos of employees and all to eager shoppers felt like a cascade of salt right at a bleeding wound. With his hands shaking in silent ardor and blinking away a sharp headache from magical overuse, Leehan only bit his tongue and let the veil of numbness fall over the growing anger towards his very powers.
It was in that dead quiet that the touch of the demon's ever cold fingers grabbed his attention once more, tender in a way that rivaled the softness of feathers, Dongmin held his aching right hand and slowly raised it till his face.
The chill of his lips on the angel's knuckles felt warm, better than any heat of blessings ever could.
As the blonde watched, unable to fully shake the harsh reality of his fumble, the other gave him hope in a quiet whispered request: “Promise me you’ll practice, Donghyun-ah?”
The answer was a calm and serious nod, accepting the severity of winning that glimpse of trust in the face of such a failure. Letting Han Dongmin’s affection —still new, unusual, for more it had been months since their reconciliation— to overwrite the unease filling his very breath.
Kim Donghyun had a lot of work ahead of him.
— Ꮚ˘ ꈊ ˘ Ꮚ —
5 years earlier.
12th of April, 2014.
The sun shone in a warm caress, which was more than welcomed for one so full of perpetual gloom as Leehan.
Time had pushed his moments in Yongsang further and further away, to a memory that lingers, yet loses a fraction of its strength each new day of the calendar.
He had seen Taesan’s instability in the tension of his shoulders and cutting avoidance, even before Leehan began getting the intruding touches of his jinxes in his life, there was already the scent of a light fuse burning away in their very connection.
Because regardless of how much the demon spoke in barded words, the frustration that piled on faster than the angel could prevent or the moments of utter miscommunication, Han Dongmin seemed as fascinated by Kim Donghyun as the other was by him. It persisted under the constant looks in between the mortal routine of classes, how the red in his eyes, for more they could frighten as the color was a vibrant shade near blood like, gained a certain glimmer in his lingering glances in a shade resembling a rose, full of emotion unspoken in a single hue.
Perhaps that was the most fitting image to associate the other, a way to explain how eye-catching his existence was from the second their eyes met. Taesan felt like another awe-inspiring aspect of Leehan’s mortal experiences as if he was the reinterpretation of the concept of a flower: A beauty of minute details, strong to carry thorns and promise pain, but its true effect conveys the deepest emotions, one’s words can’t compare.
The angel had fallen for him, for the allure in his dichotomy, the way even the hurt never felt false. He had fallen for how the other looked at him and saw maybe an art piece no one bothered to interpret, yet Dongmin chose to never let his feline eyes stray from the smallest of paint brushes. It was unlike anything Donghyun had ever felt, for someone to stay from their own volition and not step away as soon as they found an error in the drawn lines.
But in the end, it was that same devotion to his rose that led him to part from him, because Taesan was wittering with how Leehan’s self overwhelmed their roles, how his emotions never failed to trigger his blessing tasks before a single intent could fully form.
The other operated based on control, seeing the full picture so clearly he could pinpoint the right gear to unscrew in a machine and claim a job well done, since his curses never wavered. The demon began throwing bad luck his way in inconveniences and road blocks, but it was himself who grew to hurt with every moment spent together.
If distance, what Donghyun offered with his final question, was what Dongmin agreed to be better, the angel would give it to him.
He would hope for his rose to heal, for a day his love might not come close to hurting him as it did.
He’d hope, but he’d never force it to come true.
As the sun rays eased in the blue tinted sky, caused by a cloud passing through, Leehan let his focus sway from musing the past to focus on his breathing, deep breathes filling the quiet space of the pre-school parking lot he stood in. A couple of minutes passed before he recollected himself, his objective and impending encounter, until his feet carried him cautiously towards the secretary by the entrance.
“Good morning, is teacher Sung Hanbin here today?” He asked gently, easing his body language and adding a small smile. The worker at the table was a girl with bright pink hair, skin slightly tanner than Leehan’s and with one painted nail of each color simulating a rainbow. She smiled amicably back at him, vibrant nails brushing a strand of hair behind her left ear while responding, “Morning! Yes, teacher Sung is here, who’s asking?”
“We’re from the same hometown, so I gave him a heads-up about coming to visit, I’m Leehan.” There was a hint of uncertainty in his voice that was not quite hidden, though there was truth to it their 'hometown' was not the reason he knew of Hanbin.
He hadn’t even known the other’s existence in Seoul before requesting both permission to do his duties far from Yongsang and to contact another angel-turned-mortal senior available.
Leehan had never sent correspondence to Heaven since shifting nor did he receive any message of theirs, but his high school mission changed more than he could have predicted and whispering his plea to a smooth rock before tossing it up into infinity, which was accepted as form of ‘sending a prayer to the sky’ as the rulebook defines for comunicating.
His answer came in the form of that same rock falling in front of him a couple days later, a disgruntled mutter invading his mind along with it:
Continue your duties elsewhere.
An angel going by Sung Hanbin may assist you, if he chooses to do so.
Heaven's ways are for Heaven’s loyal.
That was how he ended up in a kindergarten, looking for a man he knew only through a name and online presence in a small colorful school's home page.
Luckily, the pink haired girl recognized his name saying, “Ah! You’re Leehan-ssi! He did say it, just a sec-” before searching around for a paper under a pile of them in the corner of her desk, after taking everything out she found a single sheet with a green schedule. “It’s almost lunch time so he’s probably helping clean the art room, just go down the hall and then turn left.”
The angel thanked her and went on to walk in silent steps towards the directions given, a mixture of colorful greens and yellows added to the liveliness of the class pictures and drawn murals on the way.
Leehan felt almost tempted to stray from his path and look, try to admire the warmth of it all that permeated into the echoes voices of kids playing elsewhere, perhaps it would ease the dreadful chaos of his adult world with the lighter chaos from the one of children. He’d envy once or twice those with the gift of living along such young souls; kids had similar perceptions as Donghyun in their experiences and they could brighten a room far better than any celestial glow might.
Maybe he’ll befriend one, or someone with that type of aura, one day.
In a matter of minutes he was standing in front of a lime green door, orange lettering in a white plastic covered sign of ‘Art room’. Leehan took a deep breath slowly, a way to calm the smallest fears of being sent to find more of the same-old strict guidance, before knocking onto the wood two times.
His answer came in the form of a shorter young man with smooth dark hair, a huge grin and a sing-song response, “Yeah, Hi!”
The man was fully human, his lack of halo and regular chocolate irises were enough of a sign, but that didn’t stop Leehan from observing him in curiosity. Something about the dichotomy of how his buttoned shirt clearly showed a lot of muscle in his smaller stature, yet the baby blue apron covering him along with the happiness of his expression made him look practically harmless, felt likable right out of the gate.
“Hello, is Sung Hanbin-ssi here?” The angel inquired, getting an enthusiastic nod. He was quite animated, Leehan let his eyes fall towards the left side of his chest where a tiny name tag said ‘Seok Matthew’ in Hangul.
“Yep, just a sec,” Matthew says in English, which took the younger by surprise with how naturally and quickly he shifted back to Korean, “Hyung, you got a visitor!”
An odd, almost cartoon like “Eh???” echoed from the door in the back of the room, probably a bathroom, and soon enough its maker came out shaking both hands in an attempt to dry them.
Immediately Donghyun felt the lighting of the room become warmer, a soft shade of lemon like yellow painted over the handsome features of its owner who just as quickly locked eyes with the wandering being in front of the door.
Sung Hanbin's presence, be it for the more delicate appearance with a few white paint stains in his cheek and neck, the matching apron in a baby pink color also very much stained or the almost softness in his angelical traits — the halo color, eyes silvery with a gradient look and the tender scent of snow, a chill in the air —, made the tension of Donghyun’s body leave in a mere couple of breaths.
“Oh! It was today, right, sorry!” The angel said, sounding truly apologetic, his voice was also soft, definitely lighter than the other two in the room.
He walked over to them, finishing drying his hands on his apron before turning to the human, “Mattchu, I have to chat with my friend Leehan for a bit, okay?”
His fellow teacher nods lightly, saying “Sure! I think the lounge is free right now if you guys want-”
“That 's genius! I’ll get to have lunch early today, is that alright with you Leehan-ah?” He spoke enthusiastically, in the blink of an eye Hanbin was almost face to face with him, waiting for his opinion though he clearly wanted to go to the lounge asap.
It was both funny and considerate. Leehan felt himself smiling more naturally, answering “Uh-huh, no problem.”
“Alright, follow me.” Sung stated as he went on past the door and the other followed.
Though he walked behind him, Donghyun’s mind couldn’t help but take a few steps back in reflection, processing the unexpected calming way of this senior being.
Don’t get him wrong, Hanbin seemed to have details which fit well with Heaven’s pattern, an aura of composure and overall polish that even the marks of humanity from the white paint and scenery can’t quite dim away.
However, the man’s first and foremost relaxing effect contradicted how he must have had to fit this sudden request into a demanding schedule as a teacher even as Heaven probably made quite clear the type of angel was requesting his aid…
So why did he accept? Why was he so casual towards someone barging in on his stable life, one who Leehan is certain most other angels would have forced to grovel by their feet for it?
The questions almost seemed to feed each other on, like pulling a threat and accidentally having an unending strand of fabric rolling on itself in size.
The angel barely noticed having arrived at the lounge if not for the sounds of Hanbin opening the fridge by the balcony and grabbing a lunch box so colorful a rainbow would give it the stink eye. Donghyun himself found focus in staring at its loud colors and stickers of… hamsters? What in the…
“Let’s sit by the couch, here,” The other gave him a clean pair of metal chopsticks, quietly guiding him to the orange couch with a light hand in his elbow.
Properly seated and with the bento placed right in between them in the low round lunch table, the two angels quietly put their utensils to use, the older immediately ate an egg roll while the younger poked at a slice of kimbap…
Until hearing the other’s voice break the silence, “Would you like to tell me what’s wrong, Leehan-ah?”
The blonde froze, metal touching the vegetable filling in the rice, taken by surprise.
Hanbin didn’t mind it, he kept on eating a bit of kimchi unhurried, pale eyes flying through the many details of the room and never weighing on the other.
Perhaps that’s what made the air easy to take in, the stable aura of a winter’s calming scent, the soft lemon glow that, though contrasting Donghyun's unstable flickers of gold, didn’t seem to clash with it.
A deep breath entered the young being’s lungs and with caution, one he doubted he’d ever fully shed from his voice while speaking to a form of superior, said: “I’m having trouble with my powers, my blessings… I wish for stability in them, in whatever way I can.”
Nodding, the other continues, “How does it feel? To bless someone, what’s the process for you?”
“It’s very… emotion based? As in, I feel the desire to bless someone growing within my inner self, stamping from the feelings the person or situation evokes but the emotions often pile up faster than I can consciously control?” Leehan abandons his chopsticks into the box, feeling a rising restlessness as the words tumble out of him with far less grace than he wished them to, “I want to give them blessings, to relieve burdens of good people or help ease a future that brings on pain but it’s almost like that deep want of mine becomes a weapon to their fates and…”
The youngest lets a deep, husk sounding sigh fills the words that seem to flee his mind.
The other turned a bit more towards him, showing to be not only listening but paying close attention, only Leehan stayed quiet.
For a few minutes, that was all there was.
No sounding breaths.
No forced filler words.
Just, quiet.
Then a whisper, low tone becoming as fragile as his own faint halo’s glow, a conclusion that felt too saddened to fit the short phrase it took shape in: “I don't want to keep on hurting those who grant me so much life.”
And, somehow, the words landed almost softly in the air, instead of the heaviness he expected.
Like in that lounge full of teacher’s lunch boxes and hints the lively children the colors and details harmonized with, even hurt couldn't dim it all out.
“If you were searching for an angel to guide you, I’m afraid most of them would tell you the problem is just that.” The angel’s voice speaks out, Leehan shifts his focus towards him, watching the way his face takes a more serious expression. “Emotions aren’t how we learn the process for a reason, nowhere in the directives or the rules do our feelings ever overwrite the pattern of expressing power. They shouldn’t…”
Hanbin then paused, closed the unfinished lunch box and then shifted in the couch to fully face Leehan’s downcast persona to earnestly say: “But I think it would be more than just wrong, it’d be the most vicious words they could speak towards you.”
Immediately the younger one blinked in surprise, shocked at the harsh rebuke layered under Sung’s tender tone and easy spoken letters.
His senior, having his full undisputed attention, looked into his eyes with precision, striking silver meeting a recently dulled amber. “We can’t be forced to change who we are, Leehan-ah.”
“Then how…?” He unintentionally asked, getting a soft smile from him.
“By thinking of ways to internalize a damper to your overflow of magic. I have a couple ideas, wanna hear them out?” Hanbin offered and Leehan didn't hesitate to nod in agreement.
The teacher reached out his hand and gave him a light squeeze to the shoulder, a casual comfort much like a friend would do, before rising from his seat on the couch. He walked towards a small whiteboard put away beside a cabinet in the lounge and proceeded to pull it forwards between the three lunch desks to stand in front of Leehan’s view.
Once the board was placed, Sung Hanbin gave his underuse a more cheeky kind of grin while uncapping a green marker that was glued to the white surface by its magnetic cap.
Kim Donghyun didn’t mean to, but a small smile surged in his fair features, strangely charmed by the way his supposed 'upper classmate' of sorts turned around and began writing in a chunky green lettering.
Seconds pass in the drawing out of the board, the all too humane action within a kindergarten with an all too inhumane context of an excited angel writing his ideas to assist in another's control of their otherworldly powers.
Leehan shushed the part of himself that kinda wanted to laugh loudly, maniacally, at the situation.
Maybe once he left, if whatever knowledge Hanbin passed him truly softened the lingering dullness of his current scenario, then he’d chuckle at the absurdity of it all.
“Alright, we have two main ideas,” The angel grasped his focus as he gesticulated, with the marker, both drawn out columns, “Nº1: Key actions and Nº2: Establish Focus. Let’s go by parts!”
The green pen hit the first topic with a soft thud as Hanbin became more immersed in his livelier teaching, looking to the key-words he wrote under the topic title, “First there’s key actions, angelic norm for the more adept is that a blessing must have the performance of an action prior to the release of great power, which tends to be a holy phrase of some kind. It’s an ancient notion of the mechanic and unused by most angel-turned-mortal’s since their magic barely reaches that threshold.”
He then swiftly turned to face the other, pointed the pen at him and said, “I’m pretty sure that does not apply to you Leehan-ah.”
The blond added an unhelpful, “I guess not,” that went unnoticed as the teacher had turned back to the board.
“Having said that, I use key actions in my own way, instead of an old prayer I prefer the action part of it.” Hanbin underlined the word ‘action’ from the phrase and drew an arrow from it, “I use a single cheek pinch as my blessing act. It’s natural to my behavior as a comforting gesture and to the norms of this world, while also being something that helps my powers follow the steps of a blessing more logically.”
Written in the space the arrow pointed at was the phrase ‘Something natural to you/your mortal reality!’
“You’ll need to practice trying to implement an act of sort in the process of your blessings, it’ll take a bit to time it right, since your emotions act at a faster pace, but once you choose something and begin affirming it into the process it just might work out.” Kim felt his head nod in agreement, being involved by the dynamic way the other spoke out his idea and feeling far more stable the shift, Hanbin’s voice grew into a good volume fitting of a lecturer, “Ah! Try not to choose something complicated or too mundane like, I don’t know, throwing salt or blinking. You’ll have to always have salt on you or have immense control over every single time you blink to prevent accidental blessings.”
Then he ended the topic by drawing a crude salt shaker and an eyeball to further illustrate, for some reason.
A breathy laugh fled Leehan’s lips while seeing it, feeling entertained and enthralled by the dichotomy of that hint of chaotic teaching in such an overall appeasing being. It felt nice to think that perhaps even the most perfect looking angels could be as 'humanly flawed' as himself.
“What of the second idea, Hanbin-ssi?” His velvety tone asked, the man in front of him shook his head and kindly said, “You may call me Hyung, Leehan-ah.”
“The second is to establish focus. This will be harder to do, but, once you start training the blessing act it will naturally begin forming, basically you should try to create a focus to redirect your power into something more intentional. If your power overflows because of how much the person you wanna bless makes you empathize with them, maybe if you think about the desired result of your feelings it will bring a more targeted action. Maybe when a kid hurts their knee and you feel their pain, if you attempt to imagine a specific outcome before being overthrown by your emotions, there will be a bigger chance for the blessing to reach its intended result.”
And so Hanbin concluded his presentation, putting the cap back on to the pen and sticking it in the board.
In calm steps he pushed the board to the corner of the room, leaving the writing there, looking like he gave some sort of self-help lecture about working on focus and acting in life, as he grabbed his lunch box and returned it to the fridge.
Leehan had risen from the couch as the other took his lunch, standing silent but there was no more dread weighing him, the sadness had a lower volume in his mind after such a vibrant form of teaching and he could let the melancholy rest while hope grew little by little.
The teacher came back once more, wordlessly guiding the younger to slowly leave the lounge and as the colorful halls welcomed them Hanbin’s voice easily flew between them, “I think the key action should be the priority of the two, but they are complimentary. One helping the flow of your power and the other sharpening its result. The thing is, as I said: It will take practice, time, and neither is a guarantee of constant success."
Once they reached the entrance Hanbin softly told the pink haired worker he was accompanying his friend out, then both angels walked side by side until reaching the open air.
Leehan’s first instinct was to look up, seeing that the sun felt less harsh as a couple of clouds covered its edges, and then he lowered his eyes back to the being at his side in the empty parking lot.
“I can’t put into words how grateful I am for this,” his words were full of candid emotion, yet the teacher lightly shook his head, “I’m doing what I wish someone had done for me once, but unfortunately I can’t do much else.”
Because in the end their connection was orchestrated by a random draw of Heaven, not meant for more than a single encounter before both went on to fulfill their assignments as usual. They were coworkers with a clear hierarchy, a supervisor and a rookie, in the same office called ‘earth’. To extend contact without reason could grow into scrutiny later on, into the risk of harm for their mortal lives or even their celestial ones, if suspicion rises alongside it.
This reality ached like a paper cut, a sudden sharp stinging sensation, but one that the young angel quietly accepted and, with a final look into his acquaintance's pair of silver eyes, he turned to walk away. Only for the sound of the voice which filled most of his day to stop him, freeze him already steps away, “Leehan-ah?”
And it could have been the way Sung Hanbin gave him more assistance than any other of their kind ever dreamed to have, or the foolish need to compensate for the calming snow scent, lemon fresh glow and consistent lightness he had shared, regardless, the young angel answered back, “It's, uh, Donghyun, actually. Kim Donghyun.”
The teacher’s eyes grew and blinked, twice, caught off guard by the openness in willingly offering his human name. It took little thought for him to ease his shock and repeat, with a smile, “Donghyun-ah.”
“Perhaps not every failure is an error. Somethings might not seem like it, but they are meant to be.” Hanbin spoke mildly, with sheer sincerity in each and every syllable, before adding an even softer “Just some food for thought.”
His words were a final touch that threatened to shake Leehan’s unstable walls further, in a tender way, but no less destructive for one dealing with the many cracks his love for a demon had left him.
The angel felt a hint of water fill his eyes, halo gaining a stronger shade as if reflecting the warmth of the same sun which comforted him earlier, and with his head held high he turned back to say a soft: “Thank you, Hanbin Hyung.”
A last smile reached him, one with blatant affection which the teacher may be used to sending towards the soft souls he sees everyday in the art class messiness, before both exchanged a wave in a proper, friendly, farewell.
In the midst of lunch boxes and green markers, Kim Donghyun learned he wasn’t an entirely lost cause.
— Ꮚ˘ ꈊ ˘ Ꮚ —
11th of March, 2019.
One thing Leehan remembered was that the best plans, more often than not, are those made by circumstances or things out of our control.
To some it might seem like an uneven game of chess against a computer opponent, winning a couple of rounds where your plans are fulfilled perfectly, but looking utterly defeated when faced with the many more times they fell apart.
The past few days the angel had been trying to rethink this, to see it as reassurance.
See the lack of control as a show of how the world outside of one’s self, the one full of mystery, life and wonder, leaves truly deep marks on everyone's lives within all spans of a second. It was a new perspective that brought him a bit of solace as it painted the universe with a similar brush than that of his own powers: Unpredictable, untamable, prone to sudden destruction while also capable of instantly constructing fate.
It took him time to truly consider this, even before the grocery store disaster Leehan had often heard echoes of that sort of mentality in the voice of Hanbin, the only kin he had felt any deep connection towards.
The months spent in London, beside Dongmin, had been tender and fragile much like a cautious reconnection or like hope itself tends to be. Rebuilding a structure has to take time or else cracks are a guarantee, so they slowed things down quite a bit.
It was learning the steps to a waltz after both had stepped, tripped, kicked and elbowed each other far too many times in the ballroom.
Actually, in their second time apart, Leehan had barely given blessings after. He felt far too unsteady and lifeless after what he thought was a final denial of his heart in the face of Taesan’s harsh pleas. Since, as his only teacher said, Leehan couldn't change who he was and that always meant caring.
Caring too much to ever ignore the pain in his beloved's eyes, meaning he'd pay whatever cost that meant himself.
Dongmin’s words had felt like a death sentence to the first taste of pure honesty both shared in that previous night, the devotion and devouring, a mutual surrender to each other.
In the end, for more broken with a barely existing glow and powers so weak they felt numb, their separation killed a shard of his soul, but it never killed his love.
It surprised even Donghyun himself to see, to feel the lingering touch of emotions relentlessly struggling within the distance and self-caution he put upon, once Dongmin found him in November.
After their connection was forged anew, the angel still enforced a distance to others, preventing his emotions from overflowing and avoiding his magic, too unsure if a blessing would be the thing to cause their first crack.
But, as nights spent between the demon’s vinyls and shared meals passed, in the silent moments in KOZ records, the fear of hurting lost its momentum.
That was when Leehan had started to sporadically attempt to train his powers, creating a key action in the span of a minute after instinctively incorporating a snap of his left finger. It felt fitting as, whenever the wave of angelic energy overflew him, Leehan felt its most poignant effect in the heat of the tip of his fingers.
Except, much like the senior angel had warned him, it was a long process with no assured win and the argument with Taesan in Shoreditch became a vivid demonstration.
The days after it were devoted to his one single promise: to practice, to training.
The young angel stayed in the modest confines of his place, a studio in an apartment right by the Harbor park, and searching from ways to practice from his window view.
Leehan enjoyed his newish home, the shades of blue of the couch touched well with the soft brown of the wooden cabinets and desk, but the impersonality of the decor was something he had to deal with. He was allowed to move to London through requisition of a couple of Heavenly tasks in the area and by willingly making himself on the back-and-call of local needs from upstairs.
In a shift of luck, since he was never too trusted or in good graces with his kin, the distance between him and them remained even in those orders. Leehan was mostly being assigned to give a hand on a big charity volunteering event or to work on religious dates, passing as a theology student or just charitable human.
It would be a lie to say the angel was perfectly content.
His relationship with his demon had been more stable in the past months and, the temporary aspects of his stay had been less and less attractive to them.
Kim Donghyun saw the glimpses within Han Dongmin of an offer for more, seconds between helping everyday chores. Perhaps it would come in the form of an offer to stay in his own condo, full of personality and memories of a flourishing British experience.
Sometimes, in the beautiful sight of red irises, the angel saw a desire for more permanent status as the confessions of care, of love, had become louder in the softness of their current lives. He shared both things and made sure to demonstrate it, to let the hope of a future clear in his amber view, the glow of golden to heighten in whenever an insecurity overtook Taesan’s actions and to gently enter his life whatever way he could.
Nevertheless, one can only get so far when dealing with the set back of his own powers, a condition that forces action to outweigh the importance of words.
So, there he was, having attempted to time his snap with the motions of his powers' growth for days and, as the repetition brought him closer to visualizing the path of his blessings, to tying the key action into it, he had finally felt it click into place.
It was an egregiously early hour of a Tuesday when Leehan felt it as he pictured the blessing of his neighbors dying orchids.
His emotions grew in tandem and, as his left hand took position into a snap, he felt the power spread to it almost in recognition of the gesture as the pathway. He nearly stopped breathing then, shocked by the quickness of the shift and in the split second of focus shift Leehan lost the timing, power dissipating instead of reviving the flower. The angel didn’t linger on the failure since the accomplishment was an unprecedented breakthrough, enough to push him towards racing to get dressed and head to his lover’s workplace in euphoria.
Before long he arrived, the familiar KOZ sign beside the window panel and the chime of the entrance bell all welcomed him.
Taesan had texted him the day prior, telling of a delivery of a couple new record players that his boss Lynn had scored on sale, which 'doomed him' into opening shop earlier to receive it on his shift and that was reason enough to guide Leehan’s steps straight to the back room. He found the demon just as he was opening a cardboard box with his silver pocket switchblade, the clash of pale skin and dark clothes a standard. Cat-like eyes quickly raised from their task to meet him, widening in surprise before narrowing in their usual suspicion.
“Hi, why the heck are you here?”
“I think I’m able to bless him safely.” The blonde said, ignoring the grumpiness visible in Taesan’s chaotic hair and tiredness of the morning to smile broadly.
His halo had turned into a stable lighting in the room like a second lamp, far stronger than the one in the ceiling, and it made the demon squint for a second before he closed his eyes, asking: “What brought on this much certainty that made you barge in here at too-fucking-early-o’-clock?”
“I almost did it Dongmin-ah! It started when…” He began explaining the start of his practicing, gesticulating as the other quietly led him away from the back towards the front of the store. Though Taesan appeared unbothered and cool as usual, folding his windbreaker to place inside his beaten up backpack and doing some light dusting of display shelves behind the counter, the occasional glance and subtle body language showed a strong attentiveness to the chatting angel.
Leehan talked of everything in the many errors that luckily didn’t compare to the grocery incident and as he came closer to the event of a few hours ago, his voice gained more and more excitement, “...and I thought of the pretty orchids from Ms.Hill’s garden across the street and I felt it Dongmin-ah! I got ready to snap at just the right moment for my power to connect with it! The flow moved towards it and now I know I just need to keep focus to see it through, but it was this close!”
The demon stopped organizing things and turned, approaching Leehan in calm movements as he had crossed behind the cashier to speak, “Okay, look, I’m glad you're able to advance so much with this on your own. I really really am,” he honestly said, “but I just don’t think it’s enough to risk blessing Jaehyun just now.”
At that Leehan felt the sting of frustration hit him square in the chest, burn from within.
“But how could-”
“Let me just-”
“Taesan-” “I’m not trying to-”
“Han Dongmin.”
Silence.
The tension hanged by the end of Leehan’s pronunciation, its utter resolve echoed.
The angel took a deep, calming breath.
Barely making a sound, he closed the few steps of distance between them and in the softest of motions, touched the demon’s chin to redirect his wandering eyes to himself.
It was an immediate relief, his warm skin quietly spreading its heat into the other’s coldness and a hint of the tension in the raised shoulders and closed expression of his love eased.
Equally hushed, Leehan spoke again, contained in a near whisper, “I understand, believe me, I do. But these are my powers and I know I can do this. I felt it. There aren’t enough tests, enough results, to appease you now but please, hear me when I say I’m finally seeing a path forward. Where I might just help more than hurt others for once.”
With each other a new layer of vulnerability opened within him, his amber eyes gained the slight shine of tears and in an instant Dongmin, ever caring even in violence, let his outer walls fall over.
He touched him firmly, hands clasped around Leehan’s waist in immediate comfort to which the angel responded by letting go of his face to cover his freezing hold with his own hands. Taesan shook his head in vehement denial, a mix of worry and regret radiated from his handsome features as he spoke earnestly, “You're not hurting people, it’s just, I-I don’t want to keep doubting you Donghyun-ah. I don’t want to push you into an ultimatum or force you into having to get it right or els-”
“You’re not.” His voice was definitive, tightening his hold on Taesan’s hands in encouragement of the heart filling openness between them.
Neither was entirely self-assured in their stances. Han carried his fear in the shake of his tone and Kim didn’t quite blink away his emotional reaction, but the fact that it was there, out in the open, proved to the angel they were indeed on the right track.
“I want to find a way to manage this. For you? Yes, but also for Jaehyun who I haven’t formally met, but by your stories seems like a wonderful person. For the many kind humans who deserve goodness without the backlash of my gifts. For the angel who actually saw something in me that wasn't broken and gave me a glimpse of hope and most of all, for myself.” Donghyun let his hands go from holding back strongly to caressing the other’s face lightly, letting his affection connect to the truthfulness of his final whisper: “I want this for me, Dongmin-ah.”
In that serene meeting between two supernatural beings words became unnecessary, both the said and unsaid filled air, still carrying the dampness of Spring indoors.
It was a nice bubble that enveloped them only, like all bubbles, it was meant to be popped.
The sharp object to do it was shaped like a human skipping steps from the other side of the street towards the shop.
A person that Leehan wouldn’t recognize from that far if not for the distinct way the demon turned rigid and whispered a panicked “Fucking Myung Jaehyun” before stepping away.
In a slip second decision, moved by the hurried and sudden nerves of his partner, the angel simply ducked, falling to the carpet floor right behind the black wooden counter very ungracefully.
His lover instantly looked at him in shock, the noise loud enough made him hiss and worry for Leehan’s poor knees, but a repetitive humming mixed with the loud bell ringing effectively overtook his focus.
“Yo, did you hear that noise just now?” The human asked while walking in.
“What noise?”
Though he couldn’t see it, Leehan was pretty sure Jaehyun made some kind of exaggerated face or gesture at the answer, Taesan’s eyebrow twitching in annoyance was a dead giveaway, “Of something falling! Did you drop a record player?!”
“I wished I dropped one over your head on occasion.”
The angel couldn’t help but poke the demon right in the ankle for that deadpan, getting a mute ‘fuck!’ from him and a sharp glare. He answered with a look of his own, asking ‘does it hurt being nice to your best friend?’
The closed off expression and intimidating red irises spelled out ‘he’s the one who chose this friendship, kindly fuck-off angel’.
His human friend worriedly voiced out, “You good Taesan-ah?”
“Yeah, just stubbed my toe. Why are you here?” The brunette shifted towards him fully, standing beside the hidden angel but casual enough to appear like he was in the cashier role like any other day.
Leehan softly collected himself into hugging his legs to prevent being seen if the mortal glanced further, while his mind calmed itself from the anxious surprise of it all, he had begun to think.
“I’m here to convert you into a Mammoth’s devotee!”
Jaehyun was right there, far easier to focus on as the blonde hadn’t really ever seen or heard him clearly beforehand. When he tried to bless the orchids, Leehan forced himself to visualize them in his mind so his concentration wouldn't flee from his grasp as there wasn’t any other way to interact with them without losing the awareness of his snap…
“What in the nine Hells are you on about?"
But Myung Jaehyun was right there.
“The new coffee shop! The cute one just around the corner, Pink Mammoth!”
A sound of a dull thud on the counter – followed by the beginning of an animated rant about this amazing new coffee place – was the last thing Leehan consciously noticed before forcing all his focus from outwards to inwards.
He felt the way in which his emotions were stale, not null but far from overarching, giving him the confidence needed to try and employ his risky newborn control over it. Leehan slowly shifted in his position, lowering his long legs into crossing and raising his left hand right in front of his eyes with the right one holding it as support.
In the background he felt the couple of furtive glances from Taesan that quickly caught up with his actions, attempting to balance tense watchfulness with a lie of nonchalance for his human friend. It took a couple of back and forth before the angel felt him carefully breathing in, changing his stance into an effortless bend over the counter to sarcastically quip back while secretly touching Leehan’s side with the point of his shoe, a show of reassurance.
It was all enough of a push for the blonde to let his eyes close and dive deeper into the process.
Each sound of that voice turned into a spark for the flame he sought to stoke, listening to the layers of affection and playfulness in the noise of the letters, absorbing their feelings little by little. Similar to a fire, the process expanded, fast, but Donghyun clenched his hold on his own hand as a reminder not to lose himself in the motion. His fingers in position of the snap gained a faint tremble as the waves of magic started to become violent, shifting higher, wilder, but the angel didn’t let them drown him. The barely distinguishable mortal voice remained, alive in the sound of his anxious pulse and in the chaos it morphed itself into the distinct goal.
Grant Jaehyun whatever small help he needs to succeed.
In that single idea, something compact and solid in the untouchable dance of his blessing, Kim Donghyun was so immersed in the unorthodox steps of this new form of power manifestation that he noticed the tiniest tingle that rushed to his fingers and he wholeheartedly knew that was it.
The click.
The perfect timing.
The scrape of skin against skin was a silent detonator.
His snap was a key to the unleashing of angelic energy. An unlock and release of less magic in far more a single minded, guided, way.
The angel covered his mouth with his right hand to prevent the noise of his breaths from being too loud, the pang of a headache was light, just a discomfort as was the pain of his fingers. Blinking his eyes open Leehan immediately aimed it towards Taesan’s, which were already fixed in his direction, instinctively searching for a sign of world changing error.
In seconds the demon shifted towards the human reflecting the same intent seeing Jaehyun taking a big sip of the travel cup he’d displayed on the counter. Tension lingered as both expected any hint of a defining shift appear, waiting, fearing it and-”Oh my fucking goodness!”
Myung suddenly threw the empty to-go cup with enough force to slide across the wood counter and fall dangerously close to Leehan’s face.
“That was the best cappuccino I have EVER HAD!”
Dongmin blinked three times in quick succession, utterly confused. “What the-”
“Nah that was insane,” The human said loudly, the sound of his steps pacing back and forward matching the sudden energy of his voice, “like the perfect cup to give me just the right jab and BLAAM!”
“Uh-huh.” It was the most ‘I’m fervently questioning your sanity’ expression and sound the blonde had ever seen made by the demon.
Which on its own was a hilariously concerning realization.
“Dude, I gotta go!” The sounds of hurried movements snaps him back to reality.
“Go fucking where??” Taesan asked, exasperated by the human hurricane that decided to up and leave, “To work! That coffee made me feel freaking inspired, I gotta get to the studio ASAP! See ya!” is the shouted response both get as the soft bell melody rings out and the door slams shut.
A calm forged by an almost surreal outcome, amber and red inevitably found each other.
The Leehan remained still, nearly disassociated from the rollercoaster of sensations while the Taesan’s facade of coolness faded into a look of sheer awe. He shook his head lightly, messy hair swaying from his face and in a mix of vexed, sarcastic, dry and proud, whispered: “Lucky bastard.”
The words awakened the angel sitting near his feet, who sprang up and suddenly not only stepped into his space but practically threw himself at him, pulling the demon by his shirt into a kiss of vibrant, unbridled elation.
It was abrupt, although closer to an impassioned joy than a violent clash, and Dongmin wouldn’t dare refuse it. He moved in tandem with the lively body, reaching for the bright existence and slowly turning his head to deepen their kiss, softly drowning his cold touch into the warm yellow of his hair, his halo, his entire self. It was a current of ecstasy that flew from one being to the other, present in their act of shared ardor and fierce cherish.
As air became scarce in the sway of their connection, Donghyun unwillingly took a step back, unmaking their touches and releasing the lips to which he surrendered himself enthusiastically so oxygen would reenter his lungs. Being met with the sight of his beloved’s equal breathlessness, reddish lips and dilated pupils all only affirmed his content further, an emotion that brought out his most radiant and honest smile.
“You’re right,” Leehan whispered back, his left hand still lightly aching had naturally followed the path into the other’s, intertwining. His low tone sounded husky and a bit emotional, mellow, but he couldn't care less, “I’m the luckiest of them all.”
Taesan’s answer was a candid, adorable, snort at the mushy declaration followed by a trail of sweet, zealous kisses going from his then pinkish cheek to just under his ear. After arriving at the intended destination, the demon chose to playfully bite it, pulling the flesh with his sharpened teeth in his own show of sharp affection, leaving tender marks of his ever present greed. It earned him Leehan’s delighted airy chuckle, shyness unable to hide his utter fondness, and soft touch to the unruly black strands in the nape of his neck.
A final pull by the interlock of their hands united them in another deep kiss, slow and thorough as Donghyun let all facets of pleasure imbue him and Dongmin gladly sought after them, allowing his angel’s chaos to overrule him.
A first of an indefinite future amount.