Hell That I Call Home

by whatacaitastrophe

Summary:

fallon "rook" de riva doesn't regret much, but not telling lucanis dellamorte how she feels before his untimely passing? that will haunt her until the day she dies. if she could go back and change it, fallon would fight like hell to keep him.

even after a year in the ossuary, lucanis dellamorte never stopped loving fallon de riva, but he told himself that if he ever escapes, he'll stay away from her, if only to keep her safe.

as if saving the world isn't going to be difficult on its own, fate seems to have decided that it isn't done yet with fallon de riva and lucanis dellamorte, and they have to do it together. everyone is in hell, but it's the hell that they call home.

**this is a sequel to my fic Hopeless Hallelujah. reading HH is not required to understand the bulk of this story, but definitely recommended for additional context**

Chapter 1: Prologue

Justinian 9:52 Dragon

 

It's been over three hundred days since Zara Renata captured him.

 

Give or take a few dozen. Lucanis doesn't know for sure.

 

It's difficult to track the passing of time in his underwater prison, but Lucanis keeps track the best he can, marking the days by when he sleeps and wakes. Not the best system, considering that sometimes Lucanis will only sleep for a few hours, and other times, Lucanis sleeps for several days.

 

That's what Spite tells him anyway.

 

Spite, the former spirit of Determination, turned demon, now sharing Lucanis's mind and body, thanks to Zara. The goal in feeding Determination to Lucanis is for them to merge, becoming one in the form of Spite, so that Zara could unleash the demon into the unsuspecting world. That's the goal for all spirits and mortals who end up in the Ossuary. Unfortunately for Zara, Spite and Lucanis are her most significant failures to date. Determination morphed, but it doesn't matter how many hours Calivan spends torturing Lucanis: the transformation remains incomplete, because Lucanis and Spite? Well, they're just spiteful enough to work together and resist becoming one.

 

Still, Lucanis is mortal, and his body is mortal. He can only endure so much before needing rest. That's when Spite manages to take over. Lucanis never knows what Spite does when they're in control, other than continue to count Lucanis's days on the wall and write nonsense on the others. At least Spite can't physically take them anywhere, no matter how much they would like to.

 

Who is. She?

 

Unfortunately, when they're both awake, Spite also never stops talking.

 

Lucanis sighs. "What are you talking about?" He knows that he could respond to Spite in his head, but talking out loud, strangely, makes Lucanis feel sane. It also unnerves the Venatori guards, which is a nice bonus.

 

The one. You dream about.

 

The question surprises Lucanis, as it's the first time Spite's prattling has gone beyond their desire to get out, to kill everyone in the prison, and how to do it. All notions Lucanis gave up on achieving a long time ago.

 

"She's not important," Lucanis replies grimly.

 

Liar!

 

He should have guessed that Spite would know if Lucanis told them the truth. Fallon de Riva will always hold a special place in Lucanis' heart. Not that it matters anymore, because he'll never see her again, and that isn't a lie. "She's not important because you will never meet her, so you don't need to know."

 

Then why tell her? In dreams. That you will come back?

 

Lucanis knows exactly which of the many dreams about Fallon he's had since his capture that Spite is referring to. It's not so much a dream as it is his mind replaying the memory of his last moments with Fallon before leaving Treviso. "It was a memory. I thought I'd be going back when I said goodbye."

 

There's an ache in Lucanis's chest as he thinks about the look on Fallon's face when she promised to await his return patiently. Though Lucanis doubts that Fallon has kept that promise, given that he's been gone for a year. Lucanis is sure that everyone he knows, including Fallon, believes him to be dead.

 

His funeral was probably a spectacle.

 

Lucanis can practically see it: Caterina, stoic as always, putting on a brave face for the entire organization. Far too many Crows from far too many Houses were probably in attendance for the actual service, putting them all at risk. A wake at The Cantori Diamond. Illario, drunk, inconsolable, and over dramatically telling stories from their youth.

 

Illario, who brought the Calivan contract to Caterina.

 

Illario, who told Caterina to give it to Lucanis.

 

Illario, who picked another fight with Lucanis on the day he left, about who Caterina would choose as her successor.

 

Illario, who had nothing to lose and everything to gain from Lucanis's death.

 

Lucanis growls to himself and shakes his head.

 

No.

 

Illario wouldn't. Illario couldn't. Lucanis will always be the first person to defend Illario's intelligence and remind people that his cousin is smarter than people give him credit for, but this? Planning something ten steps ahead? Working with the Venatori, with Zara? There's no way Illario could pull off this level of betrayal without getting caught.

 

Could he?

 

Spite replies, now sitting beside Lucanis in their cell. Lucanis swears, having momentarily forgotten that the demon can hear his thoughts even when Lucanis isn't speaking to Spite directly. He also doesn't think he'll ever get used to the demon wearing his face when they manifest physically. Though Lucanis supposes that it's appropriate, considering how Spite looks, is how people down here view Lucanis: as an abomination.

 

"No, he couldn't," Lucanis replies with finality. These intrusive thoughts about Illario are a result of Spite's influence. That's all it is. Even if Illario could fathom betraying Lucanis, he would never. Illario is his family. His blood.

 

We could. Find out.

 

Lucanis furrows his brow as he turns to look at Spite. "How?"

 

Work together. Get out of here. Kill the ones. Who did this? Calivan. Zara. Then find the Betrayer. Kill them, too.

 

It's certainly an idea. Lucanis overheard some of the Venatori guards talking: Zara is relentless in her pursuit of turning Lucanis, and won't let Calivan just quit. The new strategy is just to wait until Lucanis has mentally and physically deteriorated enough that the next attempt will either kill Lucanis or his self-preservation will kick in and he'll willingly merge with Spite to stay "alive."

 

"How?" Lucanis asks again as his eyes flick towards the translucent, red barrier wall that acts as his cell door. He can see the table where the Venatori have left his personal effects out in the open for the last year. Calivan likes to torture Lucanis with his own daggers, so the idiot keeps them close by. If Lucanis could just find a way to get to them—

 

I can help. Make us strong. Use my power. Get. Us. OUT!

 

The logical part of Lucanis knows that working with the demon to secure his freedom is a risk, especially when his mental and physical strength aren't in peak condition. Spite could use this opportunity to take complete control.

 

I WON'T!

 

"Stop listening to my thoughts." Lucanis snaps.

 

Can't. They're LOUD!!

 

Lucanis rolls his eyes and runs a hand over his face, weighing his options once more. There's no way he can do this on his own in his current state, no matter how much he'd like to. "If I feel you trying to take over my body permanently, I will kill us both. Do you understand?" Lucanis warns as he stares at the spectral image of the demon sitting beside him.

 

Yes. We work. Together. Kill Calivan. Kill Zara. Then, we find. Her?

 

Her. Fallon.

 

Maker, Lucanis would give for nothing more than to see Fallon again— even if it's one last time, to say goodbye. The last thing Lucanis wants to do is put the woman he loves in danger, and Spite is too unpredictable. Fallon deserves someone whole, not the shell of the man Lucanis used to be. Staying away is the smarter option. "No. We leave her alone. She's better off believing I'm dead." He tells Spite solemnly as he pushes down the aching feeling that letting Fallon go gives him.

 

WHY! She's NICE. In dreams! I want. To meet. Her!

 

"Kill Calivan. Kill Zara. Do we have an agreement or not?" Lucanis asks with an exasperated sigh, ignoring Spite's demands.

 

Spite groans with annoyance at first, but then a feline grin spreads on the demon's face as they stand.

 

Yes. We have. An agreement.

 

Lucanis stands as well, and for the first time in a year, he smiles as the demon's spectral form drifts back into Lucanis's body. "Then let's get the hell out of here."

Chapter 2: How Long Has It Been?

Summary:

a reunion.

how long has it been?
i don’t know, but it feels like an eternity.

The Ossuary is as unnerving as Fallon expected it to be, if not more. Zara's underwater prison was a shrine to Ghilan'nain once upon a time, and while Fallon would like to believe that this is tied to everything going on above ground right now, this place has been here far longer than Ghilan'nain has been back in the mortal realm. The Venatori cult leader is clever and has clearly been playing the long game, but not even Zara could have predicted that Solas would fail to perform his ritual to tear down the Veil and then release the Evanuris in the wake of that failure.

 

Despite the fact that the Ossuary is larger than expected, Fallon still can't help but feel a little claustrophobic. Maybe it's the gallons of water on all sides that could drown her and everyone else here in seconds if the glass walls of this place ever failed. Fallon can't even begin to imagine the strength of the magic The Ossuary is reinforced by, nor does she want to, since it's likely The Venatori's specialty: blood magic.

 

Zara Renata has been interested in learning to dominate and control others via blood magic for decades now— at minimum since Fallon was a teenager, and her late father was still a member of the Tevinter Magesterium alongside Zara. Fallon witnessed her father stand up to Zara once, a few years before he died. While Fallon can't confirm the Venatori had a hand in the death of her parents, it wouldn't surprise her.

 

Between the old elven gods being real, a forced mental connection with The Dread Wolf, and now, the reason she and Neve Gallus are carefully stalking through The Ossuary right now, Fallon doesn't think anything will surprise her anymore— even if the shock of the last one hasn't entirely worn off.

 

Lucanis Dellamorte is alive.

 

Her Lucanis.

 

The man whose death consumed Fallon with so much grief that it triggered her path of self-destruction that ultimately led her to Varric, to Solas, and to The Evanuris.

 

Fallon stared wide-eyed at her father-figure and mentor, Viago de Riva, whom she wrote Andarateia Cantori about, pleading with the The Seventh Talon to convince the Fifth to hear Fallon out, and the First Talon herself:

 

Caterina Dellamorte.

 

A formidable force of a woman who, the last time she and Fallon saw one another, passively suggested that Fallon's relationship with Lucanis may have been at least partially to blame for his demise.

 

"What do you mean we didn't bury Lucanis a year ago?" Fallon asked, trying to stop her voice from shaking as she reached for the nearest surface to keep herself steady.

 

"The Venatori tricked us. They used blood magic to glamour the body to look like Lucanis. Viago has been quietly working to find Lucanis for the last year." Caterina explained, her tone even and somehow still devoid of hope, despite sharing that her grandson is alive.

 

Fallon whipped her head towards Viago, betrayal evident in her eyes. "You— you knew?"

 

To his credit, Viago actually looked sorry for keeping this shocking turn of events from Fallon. "I didn't want to get your hopes up, pequeña. We— Caterina and I— also did not want The Venatori to know the Crows were onto them, so this stayed between us. This is also news to Andarateia. And to Illario."

 

Teia looked how Fallon felt: Like she could hardly believe what she was hearing, and that she wanted to strangle Viago for keeping it from her.

 

Illario looks like he swallowed a lemon. Fallon couldn't decide if she thinks it's because he's angry that Caterina kept this from him, or if he's furious that— once again— the title of First Talon is being yanked from his reach. Knowing Illario, it could be both.

 

"How do we get to The Ossuary if it's underwater?" Neve asked, giving voice to one of Fallon's many questions. Thank the Maker for it because Fallon is officially too stunned to speak.

 

Lucanis is alive.

 

They get a second chance.

 

Viago's sources couldn't confirm what state they would find Lucanis would be in, just that Zara has been keeping him in The Ossuary for "experiments" since he disappeared a year ago. Every so often, as they round a corner, Fallon and Neve stumble upon the corpse of a darkspawn or a Venatori operative in varying states of decay. The stale air reeks of rotting flesh, dried blood, and remnants of varying magical properties. It's enough to make Fallon feel sick to her stomach, and they've only been down here for thirty minutes or so. She can't even begin to imagine what living in this environment for a year has been like for Lucanis.

The deeper Fallon and Neve venture into the prison, the more anxious Fallon becomes. Based on the handful of notes Neve and Fallon find in their investigation, it becomes clear that Zara's prisoners do not typically inhabit this place for long: they either die down here as a failure or are relocated elsewhere as a success. If Lucanis is still here, that means he must be something in between.

 

"Are you going to be okay, Rook?" Neve asks, after passing Fallon a note they found near an empty cell that explicitly mentions Lucanis, and an order to "just kill him."

 

The Demon of Vyrantium is incredibly dramatic, as nicknames go. Still, Fallon always envied the fact that Lucanis had an alias— a moniker his enemies had come to fear when whispered on the wind or behind closed doors. She wanted that level of fame and notoriety, and always wondered what people would end up calling her someday.

 

"Rook" was never on the list. In fact, the first time Varric called her that, Fallon made a face.

 

"A rook is a pawn. They're common and often used sacrificially in chess. Do you plan to sacrifice me for your cause, Varric?" Fallon asked when he questioned the look on her face.

 

Varric smiled slyly. "Did you know that a rook is also a type of crow?" Fallon did not know that, but based on his smile, she had a feeling Varric knew that already.

 

"They're smarter than the average bird, you know. Studies have shown they can problem-solve quickly. They understand the importance of being able to work in a group and travel in flocks that look out for one another pretty closely. They also mate for life," Varric gave her a knowing look. Fallon's heart clenched as her mind drifted to Lucanis. "As for your chess comparison, I disagree with you. I think the rook is the most important piece on the board: unassuming and easy to underestimate, but more than capable of winning the whole thing. When placed correctly, the king never sees a rook coming."

 

Now, Fallon wears the nickname with pride. She nods at Neve as she crumples the note and drops it unceremoniously. "I'm fine. He's already been dead for a year— if it turns out he's still dead, then at least nothing has changed. I'll be fine."

 

Not a lie, but not entirely true, either. The moment that Fallon found out there was even the slightest chance of Lucanis being alive, she allowed her heart to flood with hope in a way she hadn't felt in a long time. If they came all this way, only to find the real Lucanis's dead body, Fallon will be devastated. She just no longer has the luxury of openly grieving. Too many people are counting on her, now.

 

Fallon follows Neve into the next chamber, but the detective stops short. She raises a hand, signaling Fallon to hold her position, and nods to the space ten feet ahead. There are more dead bodies, but these bodies are fresh. So fresh, in fact, one of the Venatori mages on the ground is still twitching ever so slightly as the last of his blood trickles onto the floor, courtesy of a stab wound in his side.

 

Fallon raises her bow before they quietly continue forward, string taught with an arrow aimed to shoot at the first thing that moves. Still, they find no living creatures in the corridor; just more dead Venatori who only recently met their end, and a closed door streaked with blood. The door isn't locked, and Fallon exchanges a glance with Neve.

 

"Be ready," Fallon instructs before kicking the door open with her foot.

 

The Venatori inside are still alive and circling a massive shard of ice defensively; the telltale red swirls of blood magic dance in the air around it. Whatever is in there must not be something they're worried might escape because as soon as the Venatori see Neve and Fallon, they pivot.

 

"This doesn't have to be a fight," Fallon warns, bow aimed at the Venatori mage nearest to her. "We're just here for Lucanis Dellamorte."

 

As if on cue, the towering shard of ice shatters from the top as something breaks free, flying through the air on black and fluorescent purple wings, and landing directly behind one of the Venatori. The being is a flurry of movement as it eradicates the half-dozen blood mages in the room so quickly that its enemies don't even have a chance to raise their staffs to defend themselves. Fallon looks at Neve, then back to the creature with wide eyes.

 

The last body hits the ground, and the being stops abruptly with its back to them, wings fully unfurled, but that isn't what disarms Fallon, sending her weapon clattering to the ground: it's the armor the being is wearing.

 

It's the daggers hanging from the being's armor.

 

It's the body to which the wings are attached.

 

This isn't some unknown creature that is just as likely to kill them as it is any Venatori that walks into the room. This is not even a creature.

 

"Lucanis?" Fallon calls out, her voice trembling.

 

She watches Lucanis's body tense as his new wings flex, almost contemplative, but he doesn't turn around. Fallon looks over to Neve, who gives her an encouraging nod. With a nervous breath, Fallon takes a step forward.

 

"Lucanis?" Fallon says again, softer this time.

 

The wings extending from Lucanis's back fold inward, then disappear entirely. Lucanis turns around slowly, with one hand resting on the dagger at his hip, as though he doesn't believe the figure standing behind him matches the voice calling out to him. Probably valid, given the circumstances, but it hurts Fallon's feelings a little all the same. When Lucanis's dark brown eyes finally lock onto hers, Fallon swears her heart stops as they widen and take her in.

 

"Fallon?"

 

The sound of Lucanis's voice alone is almost enough to reduce Fallon to tears on the spot. He looks tired. More than tired, he looks haggard, and the dark circles under his eyes are broken in. When was the last time Lucanis slept? Lucanis's armor is loose on his body, too. The muscle definition that would usually be there is gone, and Fallon can't help but wonder (aside from giving him wings?) what, exactly, Zara did to him so he could still perform the acts of acrobatics and dexterity Fallon and Neve just witnessed.

 

"Hi," Fallon replies with a soft smile, and her voice cracks. Lucanis stares at her like he can't believe what he's seeing, and his hand remains on his dagger. She takes another small step towards Lucanis, and his grip on the hilt of his dagger tightens. Fallon raises her hands calmly. "It's me. I promise it's me."

 

Lucanis continues to study her closely, as though he's looking for any sign that this is an illusion. "What's the recipe for the drink at The Cantori Diamond named after you?"

 

Fallon looks at Lucanis, bewildered. Why is he asking for cocktail recipes right now? "What?"

 

"Answer the question," Lucanis replies sternly as he slowly begins to remove his dagger from its sheath.

 

Fallon doesn't know what has changed about Lucanis, but he seems to be as stubborn as ever. She rolls her eyes. Lucanis knows that she doesn't—

 

Oh. Clarity hits her over the head like a brick.

 

"I don't know. Nico won't give me the fucking recipe."

 

As soon as Fallon answers the question, Lucanis sheaths his dagger, all of the tension leaves his body, and he sinks to his knees in the dirt. He stares at Fallon in a mixture of awe and relief. "Mierda. It really is you?"

 

Fallon drops her hands and rushes to Lucanis, joining him on the ground. As she wraps her arms around Lucanis tightly, a sob finally leaves her body. "You're alive. Oh, thank the fucking Maker, you're actually alive." She weeps into his neck.

 

Lucanis does not return her embrace at first, but he doesn't stop her from holding him, nor does he stop himself from burying his face in her neck and inhaling deeply. As he does, Fallon feels Lucanis's hands wrap around her waist and pull her closer. He clings to her, one hand roaming her back while the other holds the back of her neck. The callouses she feels against her skin are definitely his. The voice Fallon hears as he does, however, is not Lucanis's.

 

"Home. Her."

 

The voice is a reedy, almost distorted version of Lucanis's voice, and Fallon freezes. She pulls back just far enough to look at Lucanis's face. The eyes that look back at her are no longer dark brown, but fuchsia, with no visible irises whatsoever. Fallon frowns. "Lucanis?"

 

Upon hearing his name, Lucanis blinks once. Twice. On the third blink, his eyes flicker between brown and fuchsia. On the fourth, Lucanis's eyes are completely brown again, and they're terrified. Before Fallon can ask any follow-up questions, Lucanis shoves her away from him with enough force to put her on her back.

 

"Rook!" Neve yells, speaking for the first time since Lucanis appeared. Lucanis looks to Neve as he scrambles to his feet and backs away from Fallon. Neve rushes towards her and helps Fallon to her feet, placing herself between the two of them. "He's possessed by a demon."

 

Lucanis raises his hands. "It's complicated, but I'm good right now. I'm in control," He stares at Neve pleadingly, then behind her to Fallon, and his expression becomes apologetic. "I'm in control."

 

"It's alright, Neve. I trust him," Fallon reassures her. Despite not understanding what just happened, Fallon knows Lucanis would never hurt her. "He wouldn't have pushed me away if he wasn't trying to protect me."

 

Neve lets out a scoff. "You can't be serious, Rook."

 

"Neve. Stand down," Fallon says firmly as she steps out from behind the mage. The authority in her tone surprises Fallon as much as it appears to surprise Neve and Lucanis, but Neve does as she's told. "We need to get out of here, and I'm not leaving him. We promised Caterina we'd get him out."

 

"Caterina…" Lucanis's face softens at the mention of his grandmother.

 

"Yes, she sent us to get you. Well, there's more to it than that, but I don't have time to explain right now. We need to go." Fallon walks over to her bow on the ground and picks it up, slinging it over her back once more.

 

Lucanis's expression hardens once more. "We can't." He says firmly. "Not yet."

 

"Why not?" Neve fires back.

 

"They have a vial of my blood; it can be used to control me. We need to find it, and then we need to find Calivan. He's here. My contract is incomplete."

 

Fallon's eyes flash angrily at the mention of Calivan and the contract that led to Lucanis's capture in the first place. "We'll get the blood, but we don't need to deal with Calivan."

 

"I had a contract, Fallon. I'm not leaving it unfinished." Lucanis argues.

 

"We thought you died, Lucanis! Fuck the contract! If Caterina has anything to say about leaving Calivan alive, she can deal with me." Fallon raises her voice.

 

"No. Contract aside, that cabrón spent a year torturing me almost every day. I'm not leaving this place until his head is no longer attached to his body." Lucanis folds his arms across his chest and stares at Fallon with an expression she didn't even realize she missed. Like he can't decide if he wants to kiss her or kill her.

 

Fallon, Lucanis, and Neve stand in tense silence, with Neve just looking back and forth between them. "Well, at least some things don't change." She says with a shake of her head.

 

At first, Fallon is confused by Neve's statement. Then she remembers that the last time Neve saw Lucanis and Fallon was a year and a half ago, when the two of them were begrudgingly working together on a job in Minrathous. Fallon and Lucanis weren't even friends at that point. Despite the fact that Fallon caught Neve up on what transpired after they saw her last, the mage has only ever seen them like this: completely at odds.

 

It makes Fallon laugh.

 

Not just a small huff of laughter, either. Fallon laughs like she hasn't in a long time, and staring at her like she's lost her mind, Lucanis and Neve join her. "Fine," Fallon huffs when the laughter subsides. "We'll kill fucking Calivan. Andraste's tits, Lucanis, any other requests?"

 

The moment of levity grounds Lucanis, too, and he nods, a barely perceptible smile on his face. "Only that you hear me out when I explain the demon."

 

Fallon planned to do that anyway, but she nods back all the same. "Deal."

 

It might not be the happy reunion Fallon thought it would be, but three days ago, she also believed that the next time she would see Lucanis would be when she goes to meet The Maker herself.

 

What matters is that Lucanis is alive, and this time, Fallon isn't going to take the time she has with him for granted. She doesn't know what Lucanis being possessed by a demon means, but they'll figure it out.

 

Whatever it takes.

Notes:

well, that could have gone better!!

kudos and comments give me serotonin, ily thank you for reading.

Chapter 3: Birds of a Feather

Summary:

a reunion, part 2

you're a black crow in the shadows
bleak eyes far too clever
i'm a fly-high, a sharp mind
birds of a feather

LUCANIS

 

What the fuck?

 

That's the only phrase running through Lucanis's mind from the moment Fallon appeared in the Ossuary. So far, Fallon showing up to rescue him from the Ossuary is, somehow, the least surprising thing that has happened to Lucanis in the last twelve hours.

 

Elger'nan. Ghilan'nain. Solas. Plots to blight the mortal world and tear down the Veil. A magical hideout in the Fade that makes Lucanis's eyeballs itch. Fallon is assembling a team of non-Crows to try to stop them, as Varric Tethras has put her in charge. Fallon, being on probation with the Crows, had her status as his successor revoked by Viago. Fallon is going by Rook now.

 

Oh, and on top of that, the Antaam occupation of Treviso has gotten worse, Caterina is either dead or got kidnapped by Zara in the handful of hours Fallon was down in the Ossuary looking for Lucanis, and Illario is being weird about Caterina's death.

 

The last one actually isn't all that unexpected, but still:

 

What the fuck?

 

Rook. Smells nice.

 

Of course, that's the first thing Spite clung to about Fallon after meeting her. This is his inner demon, after all, and the smell of Fallon's perfume is part of how he ended up with Spite in the first place. At least now Lucanis knows that Mea Ventus, the hallucinogenic gas that smells like the inhaler's favorite scent before disorienting them and knocking them out, no longer smells like coffee when he's faced with it. Next time, Lucanis will be more prepared.

 

When can we. Smell her again? Spite asks after Lucanis ignored their original comment. It's an oddly specific request, and Lucanis snorts with quiet laughter.

 

"You can't just get close enough to smell people any time you want." He responds out loud out of habit, since they're alone right now. Neve and Bellara are already spooked by Lucanis as it is after Spite's tantrum in the kitchen. He doesn't need to make it worse by talking to himself out loud where they can hear. What a vastly different contrast to intentionally unnerving the Venatori guards by doing so. It will take some getting used to.

 

Why NOT!

 

"Because it's rude." Lucanis sighs, not really interested in explaining the concept of mortal etiquette, or that Lucanis doesn't plan to get that close to Fallon again because of them, to Spite right now. The demon will probably take offense to the latter and throw another tantrum, and Lucanis's handkerchief is still bloody from earlier.

 

But. She liked it. In dreams! When we smelled. Her neck. And between her—

 

"Spite," Lucanis snaps warningly as he drops his gaze to his lap, then screws his eyes shut as he attempts to banish the vision of Fallon that Spite is trying to push to the forefront. "Stop. We can't." Mierda, this is going to be a problem.

 

"Um, sorry, is this a bad time?" The timid voice that cuts through their argument is Fallon's. Lucanis's head shoots up, and he looks at the elf standing in the pantry doorway.

 

Fallon is as beautiful as ever, and Lucanis has to actively work to keep his eyes on her face and not scan the length of her body from head to toe. Lucanis has her form memorized anyway, as Spite so blatantly reminded him. If he really wants to look at her, all Lucanis has to do is close his eyes. Fallon's dark blue-black hair is swept up in the usual ponytail she prefers, messy as ever, with wispy, layered pieces falling haphazardly around her face. Her violet eyes, surrounded by eye makeup that looks like grey smoke, are hopeful as she waits for Lucanis to answer her, and Maker, her mouth. Stained a shade of deep burgundy, full, and slightly parted as she stares at him, Lucanis can almost feel it as he fleetingly remembers what her lips feel like against his.

 

"I can come back." Fallon offers when Lucanis fails to respond, and she reaches for the handle on the pantry door to turn around and exit.

 

"No, not a bad time. Spite and I were having a discussion, but we're done."

 

"Are you sure? It didn't sound like you were done. What I could hear, anyway."

 

I LIKE her! I bet. SHE would let me ask. To smell her.

 

No, Spite.

 

I bet. SHE would say. Yes, Spite.

 

The silence must stretch on a little too long while Lucanis listens to the demon, because Fallon repeats, "Really, I can come back."

 

Lucanis shoots to his feet. "No. It's fine. Our discussion is over. What can I do for you, Rook?"

 

Fallon makes a face when Lucanis uses her new nickname. She almost looks hurt. "Hearing you call me Rook is even weirder than when Viago said it."

 

"Well, I wouldn't want your new team to think you have favorites." Lucanis offers her a slight grin, and his heart clenches when Fallon's expression shifts to something more playful.

 

"What if I do, though?"

 

"Have a favorite? I mean, from what very little I've experienced, Bellara is a delight. An excellent choice to be your favorite." Lucanis hates how easy it is to fall right back into bantering with Fallon. How normal it all feels.

 

"Right. Bellara," Fallon smirks as she steps further into the pantry that Lucanis has chosen to turn into his bedroom. This is the first moment they've had alone since reuniting, and Lucanis can't do anything other than stare.

 

He watches as Fallon looks around at the room barely larger than the closet Lucanis has at Villa Dellamorte. The space between her eyebrows crinkles. "You know there are other places you could sleep, right?"

 

With HER!!

 

NO.

 

"Spite has a habit of…taking over when I sleep. I wake up with no memories of what they got up to, so I don't sleep much anymore. Of course, it was easy to guess their activities when we were locked in a prison cell. Now, we have a door that they can unlock. Wanting to be close to the coffee isn't just to feed my addiction," Lucanis jokes, but Fallon doesn't look amused. If anything, she seems even more concerned than she did before Lucanis started talking.

 

"Would they really do that? Just— take your body and leave?"

 

"I don't know. We've been stuck in a cell not much smaller than this for a year, so they had nowhere to try and run to. Now there's space, and magic fucking mirrors we can walk through," He runs one hand over his face as he sighs. "My hope is that with only one point of egress, needing to pass through several common areas, and also walk by the living quarters of two mages to leave this place, it will be harder for Spite to go anywhere without getting caught. If I lose control, that is."

 

"You can't just not sleep, Lucanis, that isn't healthy," Fallon's frown deepens. "You'll actually drop dead if you don't sleep."

 

"I'll be fine, Rook. Spite may have the desire to explore, but they won't let me die, even if they manage to go too far. Keeping me alive is in their best interest in more ways than one."

 

Skepticism oozes from Fallon as she rolls her eyes. "Well, if your goal is to not sleep, I think you'll achieve it just from the shitty cot The Lighthouse manifested for you." Ah, so they've reached the next phase of a typical spat: arguing isn't getting Fallon the outcome she desires, so she's moving on to insults.

 

Unfortunately for Fallon, Lucanis isn't offended. It is a shitty cot.

 

"It's the cot I had in The Ossuary. I didn't sleep much there, so maybe this place knew that somehow, and is trying to help." Lucanis shrugs, and Fallon's face contorts into guilt.

 

"Fuck, Lucanis, I'm—" Fallon begins apologizing.

 

"It's fine."

 

"Dammit, Lucanis, stop saying that!" Fallon raises her voice. She takes a few more steps towards Lucanis, until they're less than three feet apart. "It's not fucking fine! You were in prison for a year, Zara stuck you with a Spite demon who appears to have the temperament of a toddler—"

 

I DO NOT!! Spite shouts indignantly in Lucanis's head, proving Fallon's point, and Lucanis is once again thrilled nobody can hear Spite except for him.

 

"— You're microdosing exhaustion to keep the demon at bay, and not once since I found you have you acted like you're even remotely happy to see me. None of that is fine, and if you use that word again, so help me, Andraste, I will strangle you."

 

The cage surrounding Lucanis's heart rattles as Fallon's accusation about not being happy to see her finds its mark. "Rook—" he says gently.

 

"Gods dammit, stop calling me Rook! I realize it's been a year, and a lot has happened during that time, but you're still you, and I'm still me. We're not Rook and the Demon of Vyrantium to one another." Fallon fumes.

 

If only it were that simple. Lucanis would love nothing more than to rewind time to the way things were on her twenty-ninth birthday— when he was so unafraid of his feelings for her that he forced her to stand there and let him speak for once so he could get the words out. Back to when he was so sure Fallon loved him, too, that it didn't bother him when she was afraid to say it back because of her own history. Lucanis survived the Ossuary largely because his memories of the woman in front of him kept him going, but those memories aren't just accessible to Lucanis anymore.

 

Spite has seen all of them.

 

"Maybe we should be." The moment the words are out of his mouth, Lucanis's gaze drops to the floor— not particularly interested in seeing how hurt Fallon looks by the idea. He keeps his tone indifferent, and not at all like he just suggested to the love of his life that they go back to being barely more than strangers to one another. Even if the suggestion makes Lucanis feel like he ran one of his daggers through his heart, it's for the best.

 

"You don't mean that. You can't even look me in the eye when you say it, that's how much you don't fucking mean it," Fallon argues. She takes another step towards Lucanis, her boots now in his line of sight as he looks at the floor. It's a challenge. A dare. One Lucanis really has no desire to rise to, but he needs to keep her safe.

 

Lucanis couldn't even hold Fallon without Spite forcing his way forward to interrupt a moment that Lucanis is positive Fallon imagined going very differently. She probably imagined this conversation going differently, as well. Were it not for Spite, both probably would have. The demon's obsession with Fallon is already too unpredictable, and that is precisely why Lucanis's original plan was to continue allowing Fallon to believe himself to be dead. Fallon isn't safe around Lucanis, and if Lucanis has to make Fallon believe that he doesn't want her to keep her away, he will.

 

He lifts his gaze and stares directly into Fallon's eyes. "Yes, I do. I mean it, Rook," He emphasizes the nickname on purpose, and Fallon flinches. "A lot has changed in a year. I think it's in everyone's best interest if we proceed like we only recently met for the first time."

 

WHAT. ARE YOU. DOING!!! Spite rages inside Lucanis's head.

 

What I have to do.

 

Fallon shakes her head defiantly. "I'm not going to treat you like you're some fucking stranger, Lucanis. Not after everything—"

 

"I may not be dead in the way you thought, but the man you knew? He died in the Ossuary, Rook, and he isn't coming back. You'll be far better off if you act like it." Lucanis hates the sound of his own voice as he says it, but not nearly as much as the look in Fallon's eyes as she realizes he's serious.

 

Fallon gapes at Lucanis in stunned silence for a full beat. Then, a look of determination that Lucanis has seen hundreds of times before appears, and she nods in understanding. "You're right. You've been through hell and back since the last time I saw you. So have I. We've both changed," A small part of Lucanis is surprised, because the look on her face does not match the resignation in her tone.

 

"But if you think I'm going to just let you go through dealing with Spite alone, you're wrong. With all due respect, you're useless to me as a member of this team if you're not at your best. If I have to set up a guard rotation to ensure Spite behaves himself while you sleep, I will—"

 

Lucanis sighs. "Rook, you don't—

 

"I'm not finished. We're also going to train together. Starting tomorrow. I can tell just from looking at you that you're out of shape from being down there. Not your fault, of course, but I need my mage-killer to be able to, you know, kill mages."

 

"I suppose that's fair. I was going to start training again anyway, but it will be more motivating with someone else." He agrees. Even if he can't be with her, Lucanis has to spend time with her due to their circumstances. Plus, having a friend after being in solitary confinement for so long will be nice.

 

But. I make us strong!!

 

I also need to be strong on my own, so we can be more powerful.

 

Spite only growls in reply.

 

Fallon folds her arms across her chest. "Well, even if you didn't want to train with me, I was going to make you. Until we get a few more bodies in here, you and I are the muscle. Harding is handy with her bow and arrows, too, but she has other things I need her to focus on right now because of the connections she has through Varric and the Inquisition. Which means, I need you ready and able to take down two dozen Venatori again at the drop of a hat."

 

Lucanis laughs half-heartedly as she references their last contract together. Then he offers her a slight smile. "You're right. You have changed," He agrees, unable to stop the pride he feels from coming through. "You sound like Viago."

 

She sounds like a real leader. Like a Talon.

 

"Please tell him that. I'd like for him to go back to thinking I'm competent." Fallon smirks. Lucanis glances over to her right hand. The faintest tan line is still visible from where her de Riva signet ring used to sit on her pinky. Lucanis doesn't know the whole story yet, but Viago might be the only person in Thedas who loves Fallon more than Lucanis does (albeit in different ways). Lucanis knows all too well that Viago previously bent the rules for his former protégé in the aftermath of her mistakes, to the point he once told Lucanis that Fallon "couldn't keep getting away with this."

 

If Viago took the signet ring back and is calling Fallon "Rook," then whatever happened must have been bad enough to be the final straw.

 

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Lucanis offers, gesturing for her to sit in the wooden chair by his cot.

 

"I'd love to, because no one else here really understands Crow politics, but I don't typically talk about that kind of stuff with people I've only recently met for the first time, so I guess I'll be saving that conversation for once we're not acquaintances anymore," Fallon answers bluntly, and makes no move to take the seat offered to her.

 

Ouch. Lucanis breathes out a resigned sigh. "I walked right into that, didn't I?"

 

"You did."

 

"Maybe suggesting we treat one another like we just met was too far in the opposite direction."

 

"You think?" Her laugh holds more bitterness than Lucanis's favorite coffee roast from Café Pietra.

 

"Perhaps we should treat one another like two people who just graduated from acquaintances to friends, instead."

 

"Oh boy, a promotion." She replies drily.

 

"Rook. Please. It hasn't even been a day. I know that patience is a virtue you severely lack, but two things I never thought would happen happened to me in rapid succession. I'm still processing everything. " Lucanis reminds her.

 

Fallon chews on her bottom lip as she gives Lucanis an apologetic look. "Right. Sorry."

 

I like. Her mouth. If we can't smell her. Can we bite. Her mouth. Instead?

 

Lucanis emits a frustrated groan, but quickly recovers and waves in apology to Fallon. "Sorry. Not you. Spite is opinionated."

 

"On what?" Fallon asks curiously.

 

"Everything."

 

Fallon seems to understand what Lucanis is saying, but she doesn't push further. Which, admittedly, is surprising and nothing at all like Lucanis has come to expect from the woman who hates it when people keep secrets from her, but he did just snap at her for pushing too hard. Regardless of the reason that she doesn't pry, Lucanis is grateful. He doesn't know how to explain to Fallon that Spite has seen Lucanis's most intimate memories of her, and now the demon wants to experience the activities that occur in those memories for themself.

 

"I should go check in with the others," Fallon says just before the silence extends long enough to be awkward. "Bellara is cooking tonight. Are you going to join us?"

 

Lucanis nods. "I'm sure it will be awkward, but yes. Besides, I can't start training tomorrow if I haven't eaten properly."

 

"That's the spirit," Fallon offers him a faint smile. "See you at dinner."

 

"See you at dinner."

 

Lucanis watches as Fallon gives him one last look, like she wants to say something else. He raises an eyebrow at her expectantly, but the elf says nothing else before turning around to exit the pantry. Lucanis's gaze drops to her ass embarrassingly fast as she leaves, and Lucanis swears that there's a slight swing to Fallon's hips when she walks. Like she knows that he's watching. Once Fallon is gone, Lucanis falls back on his cot with a groan.

 

If the elven gods don't kill him, being "just friends" with Fallon de Riva definitely will.

Notes:

yet another conversation that could have, admittedly, gone better!! someone get them some therapy, stat.

kudos and comments give me serotonin, ilysm <3

Chapter 4: The Glory of All Our Problems

Summary:

training reveals some things. fallon meets spite.

i've got issues
one of them is how bad i need you

In Fallon's defense, when she ordered Lucanis to train with her, she meant it about needing him back in the fighting shape he was in before the Ossuary. The Evanuris seem to have eyes and ears everywhere, not just through the Venatori, but the Antaam as well, on top of the darkspawn they already control. The only way any of them will survive is if they're as prepared as possible. Fallon doesn't blame Lucanis for being out of shape.

 

Lucanis wasn't just in prison for a year; Calivan was torturing him to try to force Lucanis and Spite to merge. Fallon cannot even begin to imagine how exhausting fighting that transformation was, and she doesn't really want to. It's a testament to Lucanis's determination and stubbornness that he resisted. The fact that he ended up with a Spite demon inside of him is almost comical, because if anyone is going to survive purely out of spite, it's Lucanis Dellamorte—it's a trait that Fallon and Lucanis have in common.

 

The first couple of training sessions with Lucanis are awkward. Lucanis mostly keeps to himself in the training room that the Lighthouse has manifested for them, focusing primarily on bodyweight exercises, but he does join Fallon when she goes outside to do sprints up and down the stairs. Unsurprisingly, Fallon has to force Lucanis to take it easy most of that first week, because instead of doing what is best for his current physical state, he tries to keep up with Fallon. Lucanis does begrudgingly listen to her when Fallon tells him that he needs to call it for the day, so at least that's something, even if they barely speak otherwise. Not quite what Fallon hoped for, but at least Lucanis showed up to train.

 

Was training together also an excuse to spend time with Lucanis, one-on-one, in close proximity? Absolutely. Fallon is more than happy to give Lucanis the time he needs to reacclimate to life outside the Ossuary, but there's more to his choice to remain friends than simply, "I just got out of prison, please give me a minute." There are things Lucanis isn't telling Fallon, and she'd be more surprised if the secrets Lucanis keeps didn't have to do with Spite.

 

Fallon is very interested in learning more about Spite. Not just the symbiotic relationship he and Lucanis have from sharing a body, but more about the powers Spite's presence gives to Lucanis, and what Spite gets out of all of this. After all, Spite is as trapped as Lucanis is in this situation. Fallon would love to speak with Spite herself, but she's under no illusion that Lucanis would ever allow that to happen. Not right now, anyway. It's selfish, but a small part of her hopes that Spite does take over while Lucanis sleeps, just once. Fallon feels that one conversation is all she needs to understand the demon. If Spite has opinions on "everything" in the way Lucanis claims, maybe Fallon can use that to her advantage to make Spite listen and see reason.

 

Fallon laughs to herself at the thought as she imagines how Chance Candide would react if he knew about Lucanis's new friend and her desire to try to tame them. She can practically hear Chance's reaction in her head: "You can't tame a demon. It's not a wild animal, querida."

 

But what if she could? It's not the worst idea that Fallon has ever had. Fallon just wants Lucanis to be happy, to come back to her, and to get some gods-damned sleep. Not necessarily in that order, but all of these things seem achievable if Spite learns to cooperate.

 

When Fallon shows up for their morning training session on the first day of the second week since Lucanis joined the team, she finds Lucanis already in the training room, abusing a punching bag as if it personally offended him.

 

And he's shirtless.

 

Her stomach does a backflip as she takes in the view before her, and she can't help but stand in the doorway to the training room like an idiot and just watch.

 

Lucanis's hair is swept back so it doesn't fall into his eyes, and she can see the sweat slowly starting to trickle down his temple from exertion. His arms are wrapped from his fists to his forearms in white training wraps, and the faint cords of muscle she can see move almost gracefully with every hit.

 

Even with having lost some weight and muscle definition because of the Ossuary, Lucanis's body is still one of the most beautiful sights that Fallon has ever seen. Like his face and arms, Lucanis's body is covered in a thin layer of sweat that reflects off the light, and Fallon's eyes shamelessly follow the hair on his chest and torso down to his Adonis Belt, where it disappears beneath grey athletic pants. Her mind blesses and curses her with the image of herself on her knees, licking the sweat from Lucanis's skin before taking him in her mouth while he paws at the punching bag for something to hold onto.

 

This "just friends" thing really isn't fair.

 

Lucanis suddenly stills. Fallon inhales sharply, holding her breath like it will somehow make her invisible. A slight smirk becomes visible on Lucanis's profile as he finally addresses Fallon without looking in her direction. "Enjoying the view?" He inquires before taking another swing.

 

Heat rises, coloring Fallon's chest and cheeks. She makes her way over to Lucanis. "Was I that obvious? I didn't think you heard me come in. You seemed…occupied." She laughs nervously. Fallon leans against the column nearest to Lucanis without being in the line of fire.

 

"I was focused," Lucanis confirms with another punch. "Spite noticed you."

 

"Did he?" Fallon asks in amusement.

 

"He could smell you."

 

Fallon furrows her brow. "Smell me? I haven't worked out yet." She immediately raises one arm to sniff her armpit.

 

Lucanis stops what he's doing and looks at Fallon for the first time since she entered. He gives her a pointed, knowing look. "He could smell you."

 

Fallon's eyes widen as she remembers where her imagination had wandered off to when Lucanis stopped to acknowledge her. Spite smelled her arousal. At least her physical attraction to Lucanis isn't a secret, even if she would have preferred if the fact that watching him turned her on had stayed one. "Well, that's even more embarrassing than being caught staring in the first place." She admits.

 

"We have history, it's only natural," Lucanis responds with a shrug, and Fallon hates how unbothered he seems to be by the fact that Spite just told him that Fallon had a physiological reaction to Lucanis. She also hates the way he refers to their relationship as 'history,' as if it's over. Despite the fact that Lucanis managed to look her in the eye and tell her that he wants to remain just friends, Fallon doesn't actually believe him. Nor does she believe that Lucanis believes it.

 

"You look like you've been here for a while already," Fallon changes the subject, crossing to the bench where Lucanis has set his athletic tape and starts wrapping her hands and wrists. "Who's got you so worked up that you needed to hit something?"

 

"No one in particular. I couldn't sleep— and before you say anything, I did try. So I figured if I'm not going to sleep, I might as well get some extra time in before we go to Treviso to meet with Illario." Lucanis positions his feet and begins to hit the punching bag again.

 

"Ah, so it's pre-emptive punching. You're getting it all out now in case Illario is an ass later." Fallon is mostly kidding, but the half-smile tugging at Lucanis's mouth tells her she's also right.

 

"It wouldn't be the first time a conversation with my cousin left me feeling a little violent."

 

"I'd say that I'm sure it will be fine, but considering Illario and I have almost come to blows before," Fallon finishes wrapping her left arm and brings the tape to her mouth to rip it off the spool. She replies through her teeth with tape in her mouth, "It's a total toss-up on what he'll be like."

 

Lucanis stops hitting the bag and looks at Fallon in surprise. "You and Illario got into a fight? When was that?"

 

"We almost got into it at your funeral. Well, no, we did get into it at your funeral, but Viago and Chance got involved before anyone could take a swing. Wow, what a weird bunch of sentences," She laughs as she finishes fastening the tape to her arm and starts wrapping the other. "It's not every day you get to tell someone what their funeral was like."

 

"I admit, the fact that I'm about to learn the events of my own funeral is very strange," Lucanis agrees as he joins Fallon on the bench to catch his breath and drink water. "So, what happened?"

 

"I told Illario that it was his fault you died. The Calivan contract ended up in your hands because they were in his first. Needless to say, he didn't appreciate that. Or me saying that we should have been at his funeral, not yours."

 

Lucanis looks mortified. "Rook, you didn't."

 

"I did," She answers with no remorse to be found in her tone. "I'd do it again, too. Illario was so dramatic at the wake. He was drunk and kept telling the same five stories over and over to anyone who'd listen. Like he rehearsed, it made his grief look and feel performative. Only Illario could find a way to make your funeral about himself."

 

"I wish I could say any of this surprises me," Lucanis shakes his head. "Any other highlights?"

 

"Of your funeral? Not really. They did manage to fit Lucanis Alejandro Miguel Santiago Dellamorte onto the epitaph in a normal-sized font, though— I thought that was impressive." Fallon grins as she struggles to wrap her dominant arm with tape.

 

"That is impressive," He laughs before nodding to her arm. "Do you want help?"

 

"I've got it." Just as Fallon assures Lucanis she has the situation under control, she drops the roll of tape, causing it to extend and unravel far more than necessary, twisting the adhesive in the process and rendering it useless. Fallon just stares at the mess for a second before extending her arm to Lucanis. "Yes, please."

 

Lucanis picks up the roll of tape, tears off the tangled piece along with the shoddy work Fallon already did, and starts over. He starts by attaching the end of the tape to the palm of Fallon's hand, the callouses on the pads of his fingers brushing over her skin delicately as he presses the adhesive side of the tape into place. Lucanis then proceeds to wrap her hand and forearm as carefully as though he were wrapping the most fragile of gifts, taking far more care with Fallon than he took with his own wraps, and it definitely looks better than the one Fallon did herself. When they held each other in the Ossuary, Lucanis had gloves on, so Fallon can't help the way her heartbeat picks up now slightly at the skin-to-skin contact, however brief. If Lucanis noticed, or rather, if Spite noticed, Lucanis doesn't say anything.

 

"There you go." Lucanis finishes, and his hand lingers on hers for the briefest of moments before pulling away.

 

"Thank you," Fallon replies as she clears her throat and stands. "Are you finishing up in here, or do you have some sparring in you, still?"

 

Selfishly, Fallon just wants Lucanis to touch her again. Even if that touch is hitting one another for training purposes, it's better than, well, nothing. "It would probably be good to practice on something that can hit back." Lucanis agrees.

 

Fallon heads for the mat near the center of the room, shaking out her arms and stretching. "Nothing above the shoulders?"

 

"Of course. I wouldn't dream of harming that pretty face." Lucanis smirks as he joins her.

 

"Likewise." She teases back as she adjusts her stance and prepares for Lucanis to come at her. She missed the banter. Those thirty seconds when they talked during Lucanis's first night in the Lighthouse, when Lucanis let his guard down and acted like his old self, were the best thirty seconds Fallon has had in the last six and a half months.

 

Fallon's gaze remains locked on Lucanis as he begins to circle her like she's his prey, slowly. She watches as his eyes flit over her body, looking for any signs of weakness or openings. Despite being intimately familiar with one another's bodies, Fallon and Lucanis have never sparred before. Lucanis knows her weaknesses differently. He knows where to kiss her neck to make her sigh, and the places to touch her body so she arches her back. He knows what words to dip in honey and whisper into her ear to make her thighs press together in search of friction. Those are the weaknesses of Fallon that she knows Lucanis is keenly aware of. Her weaknesses when she fights?

 

That's a different story. Fallon and Lucanis have only fought together, not against each other.

 

After his third rotation around her in a tight circle, Fallon quirks her eyebrow at Lucanis expectantly. "What are you waiting for, Dellamorte?"

 

"An opening." He replies simply.

 

"If the opening you're waiting for is for me to get dizzy, it's not going to happen."

 

"That is not the opening I'm waiting for," Lucanis smirks, and Fallon can't help but smile. It seems Lucanis may have missed the banter, too.

 

Fallon takes the opportunity to feint left before taking a swing towards Lucanis's shoulder with her right hand. Lucanis is ready for her, blocking the shot and retaliating with one to Fallon's side. Fallon grunts as Lucanis's fist impacts her ribcage. He goes to follow it up with another, and Fallon dodges backwards, putting five or so feet between the two of them.

 

"You hate inaction, Rook," Lucanis informs her. "I knew you'd get bored waiting for me to do something and take the first hit."

 

Fallon stumbles in surprise at his observation, and Lucanis takes the opportunity to strike her again, going for her shoulder this time. She frowns at Lucanis, grunting again as the blow lands, and Lucanis chuckles. "You've always been easy to rile, Rook. I just have to be patient long enough."

 

"Using personal knowledge is a good tactic," Fallon lifts her leg to kick the side of Lucanis's thigh, and a rush of adrenaline goes through her as her foot finds its mark. "But it'll only work with opponents you know."

 

"I study all my opponents, don't you?" Lucanis goes for her abdomen this time. Fallon's muscles contract instinctively, and the flat planes of her stomach become more defined as her body endures Lucanis's fist.

 

He's trying to get a rise out of her, and Fallon knows it now, so she ignores his taunt and focuses on her next hit as they circle each other. The way Fallon and Lucanis move together over the next twenty minutes looks almost like a highly choreographed dance instead of a sparring match. Each of them manages to get in as many hits and blocks as the other, showcasing that they are as much equals on this playing field as they are on others.

 

Fallon trips on purpose and allows herself to begin hurtling for the ground, only to sweep her leg out as she takes a pass at the back of Lucanis's ankles as she goes, landing Lucanis on his back. As soon as he's down, Fallon quickly rolls and pins him to the mat. She does not climb on top of him, but instead stays on her knees by his side as she pins Lucanis's arms above his head.

 

"Yield?" Fallon smirks as she watches Lucanis's face. They're both panting and out of breath, but unlike Fallon, Lucanis has been exercising for over an hour by this point. Lucanis has to be reaching his limit.

 

A low laugh passes his lips as he looks up at her. Fallon swears that she sees the fastest flicker of fuchsia in his eyes, but Lucanis is the one who replies, and the tone he takes is far from friendly. "Oh, princesa, you know my stamina can handle far more than a twenty-minute sparring match."

 

Fallon's entire body freezes the moment the familiar pet name leaves Lucanis's mouth, as her brain ceases to function entirely. The way he calls her 'princess' in Antivan curls around the base of her spine and takes root as she stares at Lucanis in a mixture of surprise and want. Lucanis used to call her that when they were alone, typically in an intimate setting. For him to use it now—

 

Suddenly, Fallon is utterly disoriented as she feels Lucanis's legs wrap around her thighs, and he flips Fallon onto her back and lands on top of her, pinning Fallon to the mat like it's the easiest thing in the world. Lucanis holds her arms above her head, and when his eyes find hers again, they've gone completely fuchsia like they did in the Ossuary.

 

"Finally." Also, like in the Ossuary, the same reedy, distorted version of Lucanis's voice comes out when he speaks.

 

"You must be Spite." Fallon assumes, and Lucanis gives her a toothy grin that, on his face, looks unnatural and mildly unsettling.

 

"You're her," The demon replies, almost in awe as they stare down at Fallon. "The one. Lucanis showed me. In dreams. When we were stuck," Before she can reply, Spite leans forward and buries his face in Fallon's neck, and inhales deeply. Fallon instinctively tilts her head to the side, providing easier access. Even if this isn't technically Lucanis, Spite still looks like him, and her body responds in kind. "Smells like. Coffee beans and bergamot. And sweat. And lust." Spite assesses, lips hovering just above the skin beneath her ear.

 

"Sounds about right," Fallon says as calmly as she possibly can, not bothering to deny Spite's final claim because he can, in fact, smell her. Her heart is pounding so fast it feels like it might burst from her chest. Fallon wanted a chance to talk to Spite, yes, but she never thought it would happen like this. "You said you saw me when you were stuck? In the Ossuary?"

 

"Oh, yes. He thought of you. Always. Helped keep. Us alive." Spite raises their head to look at her again.

 

Her face softens as Spite explains. If the thought of her is what kept Lucanis going, why doesn't he want to be with her now? Unless the reason Lucanis doesn't want to be with her is that being around her somehow reminds him of being in the Ossuary, nothing makes sense. "How did you take control just now? I doubt you had Lucanis's permission."

 

"He was. Distracted. Trying to keep secrets!"

 

"Secrets?" Fallon frowns.

 

"Secrets," Spite nods. "He wants. But he was focused on. Hiding it. So I took over. Before he could hide."

 

Fallon opens her mouth to ask for further clarification, but a soft whimper leaves her mouth instead, as the hard length of Lucanis's cock trapped in his grey athletic pants brushes against her core when Spite grinds against her. So Lucanis still wants Fallon as much as she wants him, but he doesn't want her to know.

 

"I don't think he's going to appreciate you sharing his secrets with me," Fallon points out, chastizing the demon. "You need to give control back to Lucanis, or he's never going to let us talk again."

 

Spite tilts their head in an almost birdlike fashion. "You want. To talk. To Spite?"

 

"I do," Fallon nods. "But not if you're holding Lucanis hostage in his own mind to do so. This is Lucanis's body. Not yours. Give it back to him, and I promise that I will work on convincing him to let us talk again."

 

"No tricks?"

 

"No tricks."

 

Spite growls in annoyance, but he complies. "Fine."

 

With a blink, the demon is gone as quickly as he appeared, and Lucanis's deep brown eyes stare back into Fallon's once more. Unlike the last time this happened, Lucanis does not look afraid as he scrambles to get away from her. He looks embarrassed, and color floods his bare chest and cheeks. Lucanis doesn't stop moving until he has scooted at least four feet away from Fallon on the mat. "Rook, I am so—"

 

Fallon raises a hand to cut him off. "Please don't apologize."

 

"But, Spite—"

 

"Took advantage of you. That's not something you need to apologize for," Fallon assures him. Lucanis averts her gaze and stares at his feet silently. "How much did you hear? Could you hear any of it?"

 

"When we're both awake, it's the same no matter who is in control— the one who is not can see and hear and feel everything the one who is can. It's how we can fight as one. Things only get…lost if Spite takes over when I'm unconscious," The flush covering Lucanis's skin deepens. "I'm sorry."

 

Fallon sighs in frustration as she sits cross-legged on the mat. "Maker's ballsack, for what, Lucanis?"

 

"For the things that Spite told you. And the things he did." Lucanis gives her a distressed look.

 

"I dunno, even if Spite went about it the wrong way, it was kind of nice knowing that I'm not crazy."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"I mean, it's nice knowing that I'm not alone: that I'm not the only one going insane being around the other every single gods-damned day. You've been acting like you're so completely unbothered by me, and our history, that I was beginning to wonder if I imagined how serious things were between us before you— you know."

 

Lucanis flinches as he gives her a wounded look. "You didn't imagine any of it, Rook, and you're not alone."

 

"Well, I know that now, thanks to Spite, but I shouldn't have had to hear it from them against your will!" Fallon says exasperatedly, getting louder. "If you'd just been honest with me—"

 

"About what?" Lucanis's voice rises slightly to meet hers.

 

"Everything!"

 

"What was I supposed to say, Rook?" Lucanis throws his hands up in frustration. "Hello, amor, it's been a while! Meet my new parasite! I can't get rid of them, and since I've thought of nothing but you for the last three hundred eighty-seven days, they're as obsessed with you as I am, and I don't know how to deal with that or what they'll do, but sure, I'll risk your life anyway by letting them near you because I'm selfish and must have you right now! Would you like to have sex in the pathetic excuse for a kitchen that we share with three other people, or on my pathetic excuse for a bed in my pathetic excuse for a bedroom barely larger than the prison cell I just got out of?"

 

"Maker, and I thought Illario was the dramatic Dellamorte— apparently it just runs in your blood," Fallon laughs sharply. "But yes, any of that would have been preferable to you acting like what we had was a fucking fling that barely meant anything, because that hurts almost as much as you dying did."

 

"Fallon," Lucanis's anger deflates as he says her name, her real name, and he looks at her, as if simply saying it hurts. That, at least, Fallon understands, because hearing him say it hurts her, too. "That was not my intention. I'm sorry."

 

Fallon can tell just by the look on his face that Lucanis has more he wants to say, so she gives him time to see if he can find the words. The silence begins to stretch on as they look at one another, and it becomes clear that whatever Lucanis is thinking about saying, he's going to keep it to himself. He did just tell her that he knows she hates inaction, and that if he waits long enough, she'll make a decision first, after all. Lucanis is just waiting her out.

 

With a resigned sigh, Fallon stands, dusting off her pants as she does. "I'm going to go to Treviso early, ahead of our meeting with Illario. I need to check in with Vi," She announces. "I'll see you at Café Pietra at four."

 

Fallon exits the room without looking back at Lucanis again.

Notes:

i really need them to learn to communicate properly my god.

kudos and comments give me serotonin xo.

Chapter 5: Dive Deeper for You

Summary:

these meetings could have been emails.

would you pack up all your bags,
stay true to north?
you’re the only one i’d do this for.

"You're late." Viago greets Fallon when she finds her way into his office fifteen minutes past the time she was meant to arrive.

 

"You moved your office," Fallon responds in kind as she takes in her surroundings that manage to be familiar and new all at once. Viago moved his office to the Cantori Diamond and neglected to mention that to Fallon when he asked her to meet him. "Had I known this, I would have been on time."

 

"Oh, did I not tell you? Apologies, Rook." Viago responds drily.

 

Fallon wants to call him out on how petty that is, but she's barely back in Viago's good graces after the incident with the Antaam operation six and a half months ago. Fallon isn't even entirely sure she's been welcomed back from exile for good, or if this is temporary, given the insane situation they've all found themselves in. "I'm sure it just slipped your mind, with everything else happening," Fallon gives Viago a tight smile. Fallon doesn't have to say it for Viago to know she doesn't believe that he forgot. "Moving your office here seems smart, though. Keeps the Venatori eyes off the estate, if they're still watching."

 

Viago's office here is smaller than his office at the de Riva estate. However, he still managed to either bring three-fourths of the office furniture over from the estate or pay to have it all duplicated and delivered to the Cantori Diamond. Knowing Viago, Fallon will be more surprised if it's the former. The only piece of furniture that Fallon notes as definitely missing in the new office is the desk that belonged to her for six months. From a cursory once-over of the office, it's difficult to guess whether Viago chose to exclude her desk from the interior design because of a lack of space or pure pettiness. There's a decent chance that the answer would be "both," anyway.

 

Fallon does not wait for an invitation before sinking into one of the cushy armchairs. "You summoned me, Fifth Talon?" If he's going to call her "Rook," then she's going to be formal, too. "Actually, point of order: do I still have to respond to summons if I'm exiled?"

 

Viago stares at Fallon, unamused. "You do if you want your last name to continue to be de Riva when you're done cleaning up the mess you and Varric Tethras made while trying to stop Solas," Fallon expected the response to be "yes," but Fallon didn't ask because she didn't know the answer. She asked because she wanted to know if Viago would tell her how much longer he plans to leave her in time out. "Anyway, I summoned you because I have a task I need to complete, and it likely overlaps with your current objectives."

 

"You want me to look into your thing since I'll already be looking into mine." Fallon summarizes.

 

"Exactly. Beyond her involvement in Lucanis's capture, how much do you know about Zara Renata?"

 

"Former member of the Tevinter Magisterium with my dead father, loves blood magic, highest-ranked member of the Venatori… am I missing anything?"

 

"A good summary. Here's another one for your list: she has infiltrated the Antivan Crows."

 

Fallon's eyes widen as she sits up straighter in her chair. "What? How?"

 

"You mean, on top of the fact that the Venatori knew exactly where Lucanis was going to be ahead of kidnapping him last year?" Viago says, like it's obvious. "There is no possible way she and the Venatori could have broken into the Cantori Diamond to ambush us without help from someone on the inside. The public may assume the Diamond is a Crow hangout, and not just owned by one, but only a Crow would know how to reach this floor. Zara had help. As of now, I cannot say whether that help was given freely or by coercion, but it's something I intend to find out."

 

"Any guess as to who might be in Zara's pocket?" Fallon asks casually, like one person didn't immediately come to mind the moment Viago revealed that Lucanis got caught because he was ambushed, not because of bad luck or a reckless call. The silent look that Fallon receives from Viago in return is enough for Fallon to know that they're thinking of the same person. "Do you have any proof?"

 

"Only that I can't stop thinking about the look he gave you at Lucanis's funeral when you drunkenly declared it was Illario's fault that Lucanis died in front of The Maker and half the active Crows in Treviso. Given your inebriation, I doubt you remember much of that evening. When you threw that accusation at him, there was a moment right after you said it where he looked guilty."

 

Fallon remembers the look Viago is referring to. "You think there was more to it than just feeling bad that the contract ended up in Lucanis's hands because it found its way to House Dellamorte via Illario?"

 

Viago nods. "When Caterina approached me at the funeral about looking into Lucanis's capture, she made it clear that my priority needed to be finding Lucanis, not who betrayed him. I don't know if that's because she already suspected Illario and didn't want to say so, or not. We never got the chance to speak about what came after Lucanis was recovered."

 

"Well, we've found Lucanis. Now, Caterina is missing, and the people who took Lucanis are the same people who took or killed Caterina. That's not a coincidence, but we already ruled out the ambush at the Diamond as retaliation for getting Lucanis out," Fallon points out as she considers the information in front of her. "Do you think that the attack at the Diamond was already planned to happen when it did, and the timeline got massively accelerated because Neve and I showed up?"

 

"Considering how quickly my prime suspect disappeared for a few hours after escorting you to the boat that would take you to Lucanis? Very likely."

 

Fallon arches her eyebrows. "Was Illario even at the Diamond when the attack happened?"

 

"He was. Illario came back maybe thirty minutes before the attack. His excuse for leaving was that he needed to 'cool off,' because he was angry with Caterina for not telling him that Lucanis could be alive." Viago confirms.

 

"Well, sure, if my grand takeover plan included the people standing in my way being out of my way, and one of them was unexpectedly back in my way again, I'd need to cool off, too. That part probably wasn't a lie." Fallon snorts.

 

A slight smirk appears on Viago's face. "Does this mean your grand takeover plan does not include getting me out of the way?"

 

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Fallon grins mischievously. Viago rolls his eyes. "But back to Illario. What do you need from me?"

 

"Evidence," Viago replies simply. "Right now, I have nothing but assumptions after a string of events that line up perfectly with my suspect's motive. I need concrete proof that someone is compromised— there's always a chance I'm wrong, and it's not the obvious answer. Either way, as you continue to pursue Zara and the Venatori, please look for information on our mole as well. I'll be pursuing leads where I can, but with Caterina gone, Teia, the other Talons, and I have our hands full here dealing with the Antaam occupation on top of this."

 

The Antaam occupation that got worse in Fallon's absence, likely in small part due to the operation Fallon screwed up for the Crows six and a half months ago. A small wave of guilt tumbles through Fallon's stomach. How different would things be in Treviso right now if she simply did as she was told to do? Then again, how different would Thedas be right now if Fallon had followed orders? Varric was part of the caravan of hostages that Fallon freed against orders. What if Varric never escaped? Solas would have succeeded in tearing down the Veil. Would there even be a Treviso left for the Antaam to occupy?

 

The more Fallon thinks about her choices that day, the more she comes to realize that she doesn't feel guilty about interfering and breaking rank. No, Fallon would do it all the same. The guilt she feels is from disappointing and letting down Viago. "I'll keep an eye out." She promises.

 

"Perhaps do so without involving your boyfriend, as well. Even if we have every reason to suspect Illario, I don't think Lucanis will appreciate us suspecting him without proof." Viago advises as he opens a drawer in his desk.

 

Fallon's heart stutters in her chest before dropping into her stomach as Viago refers to Lucanis as her boyfriend. Of course, Viago would assume that things went back to how they were before Lucanis disappeared. "Oh, I was already planning on keeping Lucanis out of this. He's not my boyfriend, though. Not anymore."

 

Viago's eyes narrow as he looks up. "Since when?"

 

"Since he 'died,' I suppose," Fallon shrugs. "It's complicated."

 

"His idea or yours?"

 

"Does it matter?" She chuckles.

 

"Yes. I need to know if Illario is about to become First Talon anyway, because I killed his cousin."

 

Fallon rolls her eyes. How utterly dramatic. "It was his, but it's not that serious, Vi."

 

"Fucking pendejo." Viago shakes his head, disgusted.

 

"Considering how much you initially disapproved, I'm surprised you're mad at all." Fallon shoots him an amused expression. She will never forget the day that Lucanis told her that Viago informed Lucanis that Fallon was off limits the night Fallon and Lucanis met twelve years ago, but again after they started seeing one another ten years later. Viago also made a point to tell Fallon not to pursue Lucanis on more than one occasion.

 

"I did not spend six months watching you drink yourself halfway to death to cope with losing him for that cabrón to treat you like you are disposable. It's disrespectful to you and to our House." Viago answers angrily.

 

Fallon's face softens into a look of affection. "Our house?"

 

Viago rolls his eyes. "Don't read into it, Rook. You're still on probation."

 

"Hey, I just graduated from exile to probation, that's a win for me," Fallon smiles as she looks up at the clock hanging behind Viago's desk— also a replica of the one situated in House de Riva. It's almost four o'clock. "I've got to go. Lucanis and I are meeting Illario. He says he has a 'lead on Zara.' Hopefully, he says something that will give me a place to start."

 

Viago rises from his chair and grabs something out of the desk before walking over to Fallon. He takes her hand in his and drops a coin purse into her palm. Despite the fact that the bag is barely larger than the size of Fallon's closed fist, it's heavy. "This is your cut from the job for Tethras, and also bringing Lucanis back. Don't worry: the bag is enchanted with a holding spell, there's far more in there than it seems."

 

Fallon stares at Viago in shock. "What?" Did he say some of that money was for rescuing Lucanis?

 

"The detective— Gallus? She brought the money Varric promised to pay House de Riva for the Solas contract with her when she delivered your letter for Teia, begging her to 'knock some gods damned sense into my thick head'," Viago smirks as Fallon's expression becomes mortified once she realizes Teia shared Fallon's letter with him. "You did technically complete the job: you stopped Solas from tearing down the Veil."

 

"And the money for rescuing Lucanis?" An uneasy feeling settles in her stomach as she thinks about accepting money for that particular contract.

 

"Before Gallus showed up with your letter, Caterina had already agreed to pay me to recover Lucanis from the Ossuary, dead or alive. She gave me the sack of money after you and Neve were dispatched. I think she knew that you, of all people, would succeed."

 

Fallon looks down at the bag in her hand. "How much did Caterina pay you?"

 

"One hundred thousand gold, and Varric paid us forty thousand gold."

 

Fallon feels dizzy. She just made fifty-six thousand gold. Fallon doesn't think she's ever had that much money at one time before. Her parents never would have given a fifteen-year-old that kind of money before they passed, and though Fallon is sure that she's made more than fifty-six thousand gold in the last calendar year, it was spread out, not a lump sum. "By the Maker…" Fallon says in awe as she stares at the bag in her hand. She really doesn't feel right accepting Caterina's money. "Vi, I don't want the money from Caterina. It feels wrong to accept money for something that I would have done for free. Technically, I did do it for free, since I didn't know Caterina told you she'd pay."

 

"I know. That's why I'm giving it to you. If you feel wrong accepting it, then don't keep it. Use it to pay this team you're working with to stop the gods. And technically, Caterina didn't pay you. She paid me, and I'm deciding to give you my money." Viago reasons.

 

Fallon can live with using it to pay Harding, Bellara, Neve, and whoever else they recruit to help. Lucanis won't accept the money. Fallon doesn't need to try to give it to him to know that. "I definitely wasn't expecting any of this, considering where we stand, where I stand with House de Riva. Thank you, Vi."

 

"It has nothing to do with where you stand with me and this House. You completed contracts. I owed you money for them. Don't read into it, Rook." Viago repeats, but there's a hint of affection in his eyes.

 

Fallon tucks the pouch of money into her satchel and remembers one final thought. "Seriously, though, Vi, don't concern yourself with me and Lucanis. We'll figure it out. There are bigger fish for you to fry."

 

"I will consider your input on the matter should Dellamorte and I find ourselves alone in the future," Viago smirks.

 

Fallon rolls her eyes and waves to Viago as she exits the office, smiling to herself once her back is turned. Maybe all isn't lost when it comes to Fallon's relationship with Viago, after all.

 

~*~

 

Upon reaching the familiar sight of Café Pietra, Fallon almost cries. Any homesickness that Fallon felt for Treviso while she was chasing Solas with Varric was overshadowed by her bitterness with Viago for exiling her and her grief over Lucanis's death. Now that she's back, and being greeted at the local cafe like a family member they haven't seen in far too long, Fallon realizes how much she missed Treviso. She hates to see how the Antaam have changed this place. The city was already under occupation when Fallon left, but things have definitely worsened since. In addition to seeing the physical signs of the Antaam's presence, the energy in Treviso as a whole has drastically changed. People still go about their daily routines and lives. Still, everyone holds their breath when an Antaam warrior rounds a corner, and their active presence stationed throughout Treviso makes everyone jumpy.

 

Café Pietra appears to be a haven from the occupation, at least, but that could also be due to the fact that the Crows own Café Pietra. Fallon is the last to arrive, with the Dellamorte cousins already sitting at a table in a corner. There is, however, a steaming ceramic mug of coffee, a small cup of cream, and a bowl of sugar sitting on the table in front of the empty seat. Fallon smiles as she approaches the table. "Aww, you ordered coffee for me? I missed you, too, Illario!" Fallon greets them sweetly, fully aware that Illario is not the Dellamorte responsible for ordering coffee on her behalf.

 

Illario returns her smile with one that is equally fake. "Treviso has been much quieter in your absence, de Riva." So he's not over the way she told him it should have been his funeral, not Lucanis's. At least Fallon warned Lucanis that Illario might be prickly.

 

Fallon takes a seat in the empty chair and begins preparing her coffee the way she likes it: with two spoonfuls of sugar and enough cream to turn the liquid the color of dry sand. Illario makes a noise of disgust while Lucanis simply shakes his head. "I told you that the way she takes her coffee is an insult to the coffee, cousin." Lucanis chuckles.

 

"It's an insult to Antiva," Illario tuts. "How her coffee preferences were not a big enough concern for you to reconsider dating this woman before you began is beyond me."

 

Apparently, Viago isn't the only person who assumes that Lucanis's return automatically means that he and Fallon are back together. Fallon looks at Lucanis and raises an eyebrow. She's certainly not going to be the one to tell Illario that Lucanis won't get his head out of his ass on the matter, so she can at least have fun with it. "He has a point, Lucanis. What were you thinking?”

 

Lucanis gives Fallon an exasperated look, but beyond that, he does not entertain Fallon and Illario's comments. He sighs heavily into his coffee mug before taking a prolonged sip, then promptly moves the talk away from his relationship status with Fallon. "You said you have news on Zara?"

 

"Sí," Ilario sips his coffee. "My informant tells me that Zara has retreated to Vyrantium."

 

"Vyrantium? Already?" Fallon furrows her brow. Zara would have had to move very quickly to have already made it back to the heart of the Imperium from Treviso. Zara is a powerful mage, but unless Zara has access to an eluvian, there's no way.

 

Lucanis must be thinking the same things Fallon is thinking, because he shakes his head aggressively. "No. That's not possible. Your informant is either lying to you or being lied to because there's no way Zara has made it all the way to Vynrantium since the attack. Plus, they have Caterina, which would complicate a stealthy departure."

 

"Caterina is dead, cousin—"

 

"We don't know that," Lucanis cuts him off sharply, and Fallon watches as his grip on his coffee mug tightens. He's frustrated, not that Fallon blames him. Illario is wasting their time. Fallon sits back in her chair as the Dellamorte cousins stare at each other. "All we know is that they have her, and the Venatori are not stupid enough to move Caterina out of Treviso, especially not Zara. This city is crawling with hundreds of Crows who all know the First Talon is missing, and who took her. If the Venatori tried to move Caterina out of the city, they'd probably get caught in less than an hour."

 

"While I agree that I don't think the Zara has left Treviso, nor do I think they moved Caterina, the Venatori got into Treviso and the Diamond undetected. The only people who could have helped them do that are people like us," Fallon adds, her violet eyes landing on Illario so she can watch his reactions. "The Venatori had help, and the Crows are likely compromised."

 

Illario's jaw tenses for a moment before he looks at Fallon incredulously. "What, like a spy for the Venatori within the Crows? Don't be ridiculous."

 

"It wouldn't be the first time a Crow betrayed their own. Emil Kortez killed half the Talons from the largest houses on behalf of the Antaam in exchange for clemency and power, after the invasion was complete." Fallon points out.

 

"And surely you do not need to be reminded of what happened to our own families in a grab for power, Illario," Lucanis says in a tone that sends a chill down Fallon's spine. Lucanis has moved beyond just being frustrated with Illario; now, he's getting angry. She swears that Lucanis's eyes flashed purple for a second when he spoke. Illario must have seen it too, because his body goes taut as he sharply inhales.

 

"What happened to you down there, cousin?" Illario almost whispers.

 

Lucanis's hard stare bores into Illario. "Things you can't even begin to imagine."

 

Tense silence washes over their table. Fallon looks back and forth between Lucanis and Illario, and she wishes she'd ordered a snack. Her lack of foresight leaves her with only her coffee, so she raises her mug to her lips and drinks slowly, eyes never leaving the two other people at the table.

 

"Well, if you and de Riva are so certain that my information is wrong and the Crows are compromised, then I suppose you have no use for me," Illario huffs haughtily. He rises from his seat. "Do keep me informed if you find anything— especially if you find Zara. Good day, cousin. De Riva."

 

With a curt nod, Illario exits. Fallon looks at Lucanis as soon as Illario is out of earshot. "I'll be right back."

 

Fallon darts from her chair and heads for the closest row of hedges. There's a trellis on one wall, and after a glance to ensure nobody is paying attention, Fallon scales the trellis to get to the rooftop. The younger of Caterina's grandsons is not difficult to find from above in his slightly ostentatious turquoise belt and coat with gold piping and cuffs. Fallon follows as closely as she can as Illario moves through the streets for a few minutes, but when it becomes clear he's trying to throw off anyone who might follow him, Fallon gives up and returns to Café Pietra and Lucanis.

 

She slides back into her seat across from Lucanis, who is still wearing a somewhat grave expression. "That went as well as it could have, I suppose," Fallon offers. "Is it me, or is Illario acting weirder than normal?"

 

"Definitely weirder than normal, but I can't say that I'm surprised. Illario has never been terribly helpful in times of crisis."

 

Fallon snorts with quiet laughter. "But he wants to be First Talon? Half the job is keeping an even head when everyone else around you is panicking."

 

"Exactly. Illario just wants the title, not the responsibility that comes with it." Lucanis sips his coffee with a smirk.

 

"What about you? Are you prepared to take the mantle?" Fallon asks.

 

"No," Lucanis laughs. "I'll do it, though. If I have to. For Caterina."

 

"There's not even a small part of you that wants it?" Fallon eyes Lucanis suspiciously over her coffee mug. It's a topic they've discussed before, but Lucanis was always quick to dismiss the job of First Talon as something he wanted.

 

Lucanis pauses, considering her question. "Maybe there's a tiny part of me that is interested in the job," His tone is as hesitant as the look on his face, as though he doesn't want to admit that any part of him wants to be First Talon at all, even to her. "That doesn't mean I think that I'd be good at it, which is why I don't want it more than I do. Besides, I can't run House Dellamorte while Spite is still a problem."

 

At the mention of Spite, Fallon recalls the flash of purple in Lucanis's eyes earlier. "Speaking of Spite, did he take over for a split-second when you were talking to Illario?"

 

"Ah, you saw that. Spite didn't take over, exactly; they just made their presence known to Illario. Not ideal, because Maker only knows who he'll tell that a demon possesses me, but my emotions got the better of me, so Spite was able to warn Illario that they exist."

 

"Oh, I'm sure Illario won't use that in his bid for First Talon at all," Fallon says sarcastically, shaking her head, and Lucanis shakes his head with a heavy sigh. "Are you ready to head back?"

 

"Not yet. I want to take in the scenery a little bit longer," Lucanis looks out across the canal that Café Pietra sits on. "I really never thought I'd see it again." He adds quietly, more to himself than to Fallon.

 

The overwhelming urge to reach for Lucanis fills Fallon. She starts to extend her hand towards his, but she hesitates, afraid he'll pull away from her again.

 

"He wants." The demon told her.

 

The rest of her conversation with Spite that morning replays in Fallon's head. Lucanis thought about her in the Ossuary. Always, according to Spite. Not just that, but thinking about her helped Lucanis keep going. Helped him stay alive. Lucanis also revealed that the actual reason he didn't want to be with her has nothing to do with Fallon at all, and everything to do with Spite's unpredictable nature. Fallon isn't afraid of Spite, or of Lucanis because of Spite, for that matter.

 

Maybe if Fallon can show him that she's not afraid, he'll stop being scared, too. Lucanis was patient with Fallon while she figured out her feelings, once upon a time. Now it's Fallon's turn to be patient with Lucanis.

 

Fallon gingerly reaches for Lucanis's free hand and places her hand on top of his. "I am so glad you get to see this view again." Fallon squeezes his hand.

 

To her delight, Lucanis doesn't pull away. Instead, he gently squeezes her hand back as he continues to stare out at the canal as the sun begins its nightly dive beneath the horizon.

Notes:

de riva detective agency will be my next fic

(this is a joke)

i love hearing from yall, fr comments and kudos give me all the serotonin xo.

Chapter 6: I'm No Good For You

Summary:

heart to hearts and quiet admissions

don't you know too much already?
i'll only hurt you if you let me.

Notes:

tw: mention of panic attacks & PTSD

"Hey, Rook? Can I ask you a personal question?" Bellara requests hesitantly as they sit by the water in Arlathan Forest with Harding. They brought sandwiches from the Lighthouse with them today— the Veil Jumpers needed help with a few different tasks that were going to take the whole day, so packing lunch felt like a good call. Fallon picks at her sandwich, pulling a piece of the crust off and tossing it to a nearby bird.

 

"I suppose, since you just opened up to us about your brother." Fallon agrees with a kind smile.

 

Bellara is sweet. Maybe a little sheltered after living in the forest her entire life, but thanks to the elven gods, the Dalish elf is making up for her lack of life experiences in spades now. Bellara has a sense of optimism that Fallon has never seen in another person. Bellara has managed to find the silver lining in every bad thing they've encountered together, thus far, and it's admirable. Fallon hopes that the tasks ahead of them don't take that away from the other elf.

 

"Neve told me that you and Lucanis knew each other before we rescued him," Bellara begins, and Fallon honestly should have seen this coming. Fallon has noticed the way that Bellara has been watching Lucanis and Fallon over the last few weeks. Fallon assumed it was because they just wanted to protect her from Spite. "Was it like, you knew each other because you're both Antivan Crows from important Houses? Or is there more? I'm far from an expert, but it feels like there's more."

 

"Oh my gosh, I thought I picked up on something. I've been dying to ask, but I wasn't sure how to bring it up without seeming nosy." Harding interjects, her attention fully on Fallon, now, and not the smooth rocks on the riverbank she's been telekinetically tossing into the water in an attempt to skip rocks. Harding is sweet, too. A people pleaser, like Bellara, but thanks to her time with the Inquisition, Harding's view of the world is far less rose-colored. The dwarf is whip smart, resourceful, and a fantastic scout. It's no shock to Fallon that Harding noticed the tension between Fallon and Lucanis.

 

"Oh! Am I being nosy? I'm sorry, Rook, you don't have to answer if you don't want to!" Bellara hurriedly apologizes.

 

"It's alright, Bellara. I don't think you're being nosy. Also, you did tell me it was a personal question before asking, and I still agreed to answer." Fallon reassures her. Bellara relaxes and lets out a sigh of relief.

 

"I didn't mean to imply that I thought you were being nosy, Bellara. I'm sorry." Harding apologizes next.

 

"Do the two of you want me to answer the question, or do you want to keep apologizing for things you don't need to apologize for?" Fallon laughs as the other two women nod. She pulls off another small piece of the crust on her sandwich and tosses it to the birds. "Harding, do you remember what I was like when we met after Varric recruited me?"

 

"You were really sad," Harding recalls solemnly. "And drunk. You were drunk a lot. Varric told me you lost someone, that you had some inner demons you were working through, and not to worry about it unless you became a danger to yourself or us."

 

Fallon bites back a laugh at the use of the phrase 'inner demons,' considering what was happening to Lucanis the whole time Fallon believed him to be dead. "The person I lost— the one I was "really sad and drunk" over losing? It was Lucanis," Fallon reveals. Harding's eyes widen, and Bellara gasps in surprise. "A little over a year ago, the Crows were led to believe that Lucanis died after a ship he was on was ambushed by Venatori cultists— not kidnapped and taken to the Ossuary."

 

"Oh, this is just like my serials! Only it's real people," Bellara exclaims with interest. "Anyway, continue."

 

"The full story is about as dramatic as your serials," Fallon snorts with laughter. "At the time of Lucanis's 'death,' we were in a relationship, and it was pretty serious."

 

"Were you in love?" Bellara asks with doe eyes as she clutches her sandwich, holding on to Fallon's every word.

 

Fallon nods in confirmation. "He didn't know, though. I never got to tell him."

 

Bellara sighs wistfully, and Harding lets out a low whistle. "I don't think anyone would have been anything other than really sad and drunk in that situation," Harding reaches over and places a comforting hand on Fallon's shoulder. "Things haven't gotten better since he came back, have they?"

 

"It's complicated." Fallon takes a bite of her sandwich.

 

"Because of Spite?" Bellara follows up immediately, and Fallon simply nods, not really interested in getting into everything with Bellara and Harding. There are many aspects of Lucanis's feelings that Fallon is unsure of. She has a lot of assumptions and guesses, but sharing those with Bellara and Harding doesn't feel right— especially since they're both still apprehensive around Lucanis because of the demon within him.

 

"Speaking of Spite, cut Lucanis some slack, yeah? I trust Lucanis when he says that things are under control and that he has a plan in place if they're not. You should, too." Fallon suggests, steering the subject away from her love life.

 

"You're really not scared at all?" Harding eyes her warily.

 

"No. Spite is as trapped as Lucanis in this situation. Neither of them asked for this. I do think Spite wants freedom, but I also think that he'll figure out the path to freedom is working with Lucanis, not against him."

 

Bellara and Harding looked at each other, then back to Fallon.

 

"Well, we trust you, Rook. If you trust him…we can try a little harder." Bellara assures her with an eager smile.

 

~*~

 

The Lighthouse is the strangest place Fallon has ever encountered. The long-unused sanctuary of The Dread Wolf crackles with the ancient magic of the Fade, once in ruins, has been slowly piecing itself back together as the days pass. While that feels normal enough for a place like this, it's the slow additions of personal touches throughout their temporary home that surprise Fallon the most. Each member of the team has a bedroom that the magic of this place has carefully curated to match their taste. If the decor is anything like that of Fallon's room, it somehow includes pieces of furniture from their personal homes.

 

Fallon's room is the strange, above-ground aquarium that has transformed itself into a shadow of her old flat in Treviso. The first time Fallon entered the room, seeing the armoire, dressing table, bookshelf, and coffee table was a shock, but it was the presence of the green couch from her flat that really threw her.

 

The way The Lighthouse chose to manifest this couch was almost cruel— like its creator set it up to taunt Fallon, because if Solas has to suffer, so does Fallon. If she inhales deep enough, Fallon swears the fabric of the couch even smells like Lucanis's cologne. Every night when she collapses onto the sofa after another horrific day in what's becoming a string of horrific days, it's that faint smell that Fallon clings to as she clutches her pillow, wishing she were resting her head on Lucanis's chest instead. Those last moments where she hovers between sleep and consciousness, Fallon swears she can feel Lucanis's arms around her as she drifts off. It's the best part of her day.

 

After a full day in Arlathan Forest dealing with wards, blight, and missing Veil Jumpers, Fallon is looking forward to that moment in the state of in between more than anything. Already beginning the process of unbuttoning her top, Fallon throws open the door to her weird little bedroom unceremoniously. She drops her shirt on the floor as she walks to her wardrobe to remove her pajamas. Fallon's breastband hits the floor next. She sighs happily as soon as her breasts are free, tugging a soft t-shirt over her head.

 

It is at this moment that Fallon sees the edge of someone's boots just barely hanging off the couch, and she lets out a shriek of surprise, followed by cursing loudly. "Maker's fucking breath, Lucanis. You scared the hell out of me." Fallon angrily scolds the assassin lying on her couch with a mischievous grin on his face. Except it's not Lucanis's eyes that lock onto Fallon's. Fallon instantly frowns.

 

"What are you doing in my room, Spite?" She asks firmly. From the angle Spite is lying on her couch, Fallon is pretty sure that Spite got a show just now as she undressed.

 

"Wanted to see. Rook's pretty face."

 

"Does Lucanis know that you're here?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Spite," Fallon warns him as she raises an eyebrow.

 

"FINE. No. Lucanis is. Sleeping. But He. Wanted to see Rook, too. We missed you. While you were in the woods."

 

Fallon's heart lurches upon hearing that both demon and host missed her today, but she doesn't allow herself to revel in that feeling for long. She pinches the bridge of her nose between her thumb and her finger. "Spite, we talked about this. I don't want to talk to you unless you have Lucanis's permission to be here."

 

Spite sits upright on the couch. "I know! But. Lucanis won't LET me. It's not fair!"

 

Fallon takes the opportunity to sit beside Spite as she watches him warily. "Well, it's Lucanis's body. I know you're stuck, but this isn't right. I promise to work on getting Lucanis to give you permission, but for now, you have to go. Wake Lucanis up."

 

Spite growls in annoyance and frustration, but he complies all the same. Moments later, Lucanis's eyes are brown again. The sleepy expression on his face is replaced by one of confusion as he realizes his surroundings. "How did I— Spite brought us here, didn't he?"

 

Fallon gives Lucanis a sympathetic nod. "He really wants to spend time with me."

 

"I know," Lucanis runs a hand over his face as he yawns. "He won't tell me why."

 

"Does it matter?"

 

"If his idea of spending time with you includes consuming your soul or tearing you to shreds, then I'd say yes, it matters, Rook."

 

"I don't think that's his plan," Fallon chuckles. "He likes me. Plus, I think that he thinks he might be helping."

 

"Helping? With what?" Lucanis furrows his brow.

 

"He said he wanted to see me, but that you did, too. It's how he justified taking over. Spite did something that he thought would make you both happy."

 

Understanding appears in Lucanis's eyes, followed by a sigh. The prolonged silence gives Fallon the impression that Spite has interjected into the conversation to defend his actions.

 

"Am I right?" Fallon smirks.

 

"Yes," Lucanis says flatly and slowly begins to take in Fallon's room.

 

"So this place brought your living room to you, and mine brought me to prison. No wonder Spite wanted to come here," He chuckles, shaking his head as he runs his hands over the fabric of the couch. "Wait, is this— mierda, it is!"

 

Fallon can't help but smile as she watches a range of emotions flood Lucanis's face all at once, likely as he remembers the things that have happened on the real version of this couch back in Treviso. "It's actually not too bad to sleep on for long periods of time. I would have preferred my bed, but beggars can't be choosers, I guess."

 

"Maybe you can ask that weird ghost that's been around— the Caretaker," Lucanis suggests as he sits up, like he's going to leave.

 

Gods, Fallon does not want him to go. "Why don't you just stay here? This is definitely more comfortable than what you're sleeping on, and maybe now that Spite got to talk to me again, he'll let you sleep?"

 

Lucanis looks at Fallon silently, like he's assessing something (or more likely, listening to Spite), and eventually he gives her a slightly apologetic look. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, Rook."

 

"Why not?" Fallon asks as she feels her heart crack in her chest.

 

"Because we're not— because we're friends." Lucanis sighs, and he looks like he's in pain.

 

"You look thrilled about that," Fallon says drily.

 

"Rook."

 

"Lucanis, I don't know how to tell you this, but we've never been friends, and not once in the twelve years that we've known each other have I wanted to be your friend. Even when I couldn't fucking stand you, the alternative was never friends," Fallon tells him with honesty so brutal that Lucanis actually winces. "I have always wanted to be somebody to you."

 

Lucanis stares at Fallon in stunned silence. She gets on her knees next to him on the sofa and cups his face in her hands. "Stay, Lucanis. I want you to stay," Fallon pleads softly. "I am begging you to stay." It's the first time in her life that Fallon has ever begged a man for his attention, and there's not a single part of her that's embarrassed about it. Will she be embarrassed about it later? Probably, but right now, if it works, she doesn't care.

 

"I can't." Lucanis's voice cracks.

 

"You can't, because of Spite, or you don't want to? Those are two different things, so if you walk out, it better not be because you think you need to shield me from a demon that has yet to try and hurt me in any way."

 

Lucanis takes Fallon's hands in his own and removes them from his face. He kisses her knuckles tenderly. "I'm sorry, Rook." Lucanis's eyes are glassy as he apologizes, then he stands.

 

Fallon sits back on her heels wordlessly, defeated. This isn't a fight she's going to win, and Fallon knows when to wave the flag of surrender. She can't force Lucanis to want her. To want to be with her. She thought maybe they had a breakthrough after their moment at Café Pietra, but asking him to stay seems to be taking it too far. With one final sorrowful look in her direction, Lucanis leaves her room without another word.

 

One step forward, two steps back.

 

Fallon swore to herself that she'd do whatever it takes to fix things with Lucanis, but what if the answer to fixing things is to let him go until he's ready to come back on his own? As her bedroom door clicks shut, leaving her alone in the shell of her old life once more, Fallon breaks.

 

~*~

 

LUCANIS

 

You. IDIOT!

 

Spite screams for the tenth time since Lucanis stood up and walked out of Fallon's room. The demon isn't wrong. Lucanis is an idiot, and he should have stayed. The look on Fallon's face as Lucanis apologized to her was one of the saddest things that Lucanis has ever seen, and Lucanis has no one to blame but himself for it.

 

Rook WANTS!!

 

I know, Spite.

 

Lucanis sighs as he walks into the kitchen to make himself a pot of coffee. Fallon begged. She actually got on her knees and begged Lucanis to stay. She swallowed the immense amount of pride that Lucanis knows Fallon possesses, chose to be the most honest with him about her feelings that she's ever been, and what did Lucanis do? He walked away.

 

Go BACK!!

 

We can't.

 

The smell of smoke hits his nostrils as Lucanis strikes a match and watches the flames ignite beneath the stovetop. Lucanis grabs the kettle from the drying rack by the sink— someone must have cleaned it. Bellara, probably. She likes keeping things neat and tidy as much as Lucanis does. She's not a hurricane in the kitchen like Neve and Harding. While he waits for the water to heat, Lucanis pulls the bag of coffee grounds off the shelf.

 

WHY NOT?

 

"Because she deserves better than us!" Lucanis shouts this time instead of answering out loud, slamming the bag of coffee down on the counter angrily.

 

"Um. Is everything okay, Lucanis?"

 

The sound of Neve's voice startles Lucanis, and he swears in Antivan as he grips the counter. Lucanis looks over to the small sitting area across the room and sees Neve with a journal and a pen in her hands, and an empty wine glass beside her. He was so lost in this thought and arguing with Spite that he didn't even notice the detective sitting there. "I apologize for my outburst. I wouldn't normally yell at Spite out loud, but it was not going well, and I thought I was alone,"

 

"I gathered that," Neve smirks. "I don't think I realized how often you and Spite…communicate."

 

"He never shuts up."

 

"What an unfortunate side effect of demonic possession."

 

"Yes, well, most people possessed by a demon don't stay in their right mind long enough to have a conversation, let alone an argument," Lucanis laughs, the sound dark and sardonic. "Would you like some coffee?"

 

"I've got wine, but thank you," Neve nods her head to the bottle next to her wine glass, still mostly full. Neve gives Lucanis a hesitant look, like she's not sure if she should pry. In the end, like a good detective would, she follows up anyway. "You and Spite were arguing about Rook, weren't you?"

 

"What gave it away?" Lucanis replies sarcastically as he measures out the amount of coffee grounds he needs for the brew to be as strong as he wants it to be. Lucanis practically invited Neve into the conversation by shouting, so he might as well take the opportunity to talk to someone other than Spite about it.

 

"Rook gave me the gist of it after the Crows told us you were still alive. Sounds like the two of you have been through a lot since we last saw each other."

 

That's putting it lightly, Lucanis thinks to himself. The last time he saw Neve Gallus, he and Fallon had only just figured out how to tolerate one another, and she sent the two of them back to Treviso on a ship that only had one spare room with one bed. "You kind of set everything in motion, you know," Lucanis tells Neve as he leans against the counter while the water heats for his coffee.

 

"Did I?" She raises an eyebrow at him as she closes her journal and reaches for the wine bottle. "In what way?"

 

"We had to share a bed on that ship you put us on. It…changed things between Fallon and me," Lucanis elaborates. "I'm still not sure if I should thank you for the assist, or kill you for it." It's an empty threat, and not just because Lucanis knows the answer. He wouldn't trade the time he got with Fallon for anything. The memories of her quite literally saved Lucanis's life while he was stuck in the Ossuary. Memories he might not have had if sharing a bed with Fallon on that boat hadn't happened. It's always possible that he and Fallon would have eventually fallen into bed together regardless, but sharing a bed on that ship for several nights planted the seeds.

 

"Either way, you're welcome," Neve teases, raising her wine glass to Lucanis before taking a drink. "Back to your argument with Spite. Obviously, I only heard the very last thing you said, but I think I've got an idea of what's going on."

 

The kettle whistles, and Lucanis removes it from the heat. He pours the hot water over the coffee press he bought at the market in Treviso, keeping a keen eye on the water levels as he replies to Neve, "Spite is infatuated with Rook. I can't put her at the risk of his whims just because I miss her."

 

Saying that he misses Fallon feels like an understatement, but, as an acquaintance from a previous job or not, Lucanis barely knows Neve. The detective doesn't need to know that Lucanis's breath stops every time Fallon walks into a room, or that his heart aches when someone makes her smile, because all Lucanis has done since he joined the team is hurt Fallon.

 

"While completely understandable, that's not what you said to Spite, though, and that's not really why you keep pushing Rook away, is it?" Neve calls him out, and Lucanis frowns at the audacity of it all. Steam rises from his coffee mug as he fills it with the fresh brew.

 

"She deserves better than us," Lucanis repeats the words he shouted at Spite. He is hyper aware of the way Neve studies Lucanis as he moves from the kitchen to the sitting area to join her, quietly waiting to see if he's going to explain further. "She deserves somebody whole and unburdened by their past. Somebody that's not an abomination who could lose control of himself and become the demon people already assume him to be."

 

"That's bullshit," Neve declares with a finality that takes Lucanis by surprise in such a way that he can't even come up with a counterargument. She takes another sip from her wine glass and sets it on the table. "Look, I am probably the last person in all of Thedas who should be doling out relationship advice, but I'm going to tell you something my mother told me a long time ago because it feels relevant: My time is a luxury, and not everyone can afford it. The only person who gets to decide who is worthy of my time or what I deserve is me. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

 

Lucanis just stares at Neve as he takes in everything she said. "I'm making decisions on her behalf, and it's not my decision." He summarizes. Lucanis never thought of it that way, but Neve is right.

 

Neve smiles broadly at him and nods. "Exactly, so stop telling yourself that you're holding back because Rook deserves more or better, or because of Spite, and ask yourself: what are you actually afraid of?"

 

Lucanis already knows the answer to Neve's question. He doesn't even have to think about it. The truth is that he's broken. Lucanis tries not to sleep so Spite can't take over; he also doesn't like sleeping because of the nightmares he has about the Ossuary: the kind that wake him in a cold sweat in the fetal position with a panic attack. He has to actively remind himself that he's not in that place anymore. That Zara and Calivan can't hurt him ever again. Lucanis can't stand the idea of Fallon seeing him like that.

 

The truth is that he's afraid that once Fallon realizes he's not the man she used to know, but a shell of himself, weak, barely in control of his own autonomy, and afraid of the dark, she'll regret him. To have Fallon again, only to lose her because of his shortcomings as a man— not even as a man, but as a person?

 

Lucanis would rather face a thousand nights in the Ossuary than be someone that Fallon de Riva regrets.

Notes:

hurting my own feelings on main, it's fine i'm fine.

comments give me serotonin so if you are enjoying this i'd love to hear from you xoxo

Chapter 7: Choose Who's Dying First

Summary:

a hot new bombshell enters the villa

i thought SOS meant save our souls
instead it meant jack shit

The Antaam received assistance in their incredibly swift occupation of Treviso from someone with political power, and the price of this information was that sweet, thirteen-year-old Jacobus Cantori had to watch his final remaining blood relative be brutally murdered at the hands of Treviso's oppressors. Though Fallon was only two years older than Jacobus is now when she was recruited into the Crows, and that many Houses will pull children out of orphanages and rescue them from slavery while their ages still have single digits, thirteen still feels too young for Jacobus to witness what he witnessed today. Then again, what is the appropriate age for an assassin-in-training to witness their first decapitation? Fallon certainly does not know, and when she thinks about the fact that it will be her job to shepherd fledglings through this experience (assuming Viago names Fallon is successor again, after she's off probation), that's the part she worries about the most. Still, Fallon volunteers to go after Jacobus and talk to him anyway because it scares her. If there's one thing Fallon has learned about leading since meeting Varric, it's that the job shouldn't be easy, and facing things that make you uncomfortable will help you grow.

 

There's a window at the Crow hideout within the Cantori Diamond, featuring a small balcony and a ladder leading to the roof. Fallon hasn't been up here in many years, but it used to be her favorite spot to sit and observe the city. The peacefulness of it brought her comfort, and as she climbs the ladder to join Jacobus, she feels that familiar sense of peace within her returning. Jacobus is sitting with his feet dangling over the ledge, facing the Drowned District. He looks up when he hears someone approaching, and Fallon's heart aches as she watches the young fledgling quickly wipe his face on his sleeve to remove the evidence of his grief.

 

"If you came up here to tell me that everything is going to be okay, you might as well leave, because I don't believe you." Jacobus greets her with a stubbornness only a teenager is capable of exuding.

 

"That's not why I came up here," Fallon replies, offering him a sympathetic smile as she takes a seat beside him. "As someone quite experienced with the loss of people she cared about, I would never dream of telling you that everything is going to be okay, because I know it's not going to be,"

 

Jacobus furrows his brow in confusion, her response clearly unexpected. Fallon almost laughs at his expression, because she remembers making a similar one fifteen years ago when she was in Jacobus's shoes after losing her own family.

 

"I wasn't much older than you when I became a fledgling, and the circumstances were similar. I had a family, I had a life that I was mostly fond of, and in the blink of an eye, it was all gone. I remember how angry I was."

 

"It's not fair," Jacobus clenches his fists as he returns his gaze to the bustling city below. "How can the Antaam just come in and do whatever they want?"

 

"Antiva has no standing army, and they had help occupying Treviso from someone on the inside. That's what Dareth was investigating. The fact that he's dead means he got too close to the truth, and they're scared," Fallon places her hand on Jacobus's shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze. "We're going to find who did this, Jacobus. I promise."

 

Fallon wants to give Jacobus the space to talk if he needs to, but she's not going to force him to, so the silence stretches on between them for several minutes before Jacobus speaks again. "When did you stop being angry? After you lost your family?"

 

Fallon emits a heavy sigh. "I never stopped," she admits. "That anger, the guilt of surviving…it never goes away. What's important is what you do with that anger."

 

"I want to burn every Antaam outpost to the ground." Jacobus growls.

 

"Well, that's a start," Fallon chuckles. "But you're still going to be angry well after the occupation is over, and more things will happen that will make you angry in the meantime, as well as after. Why did you want to become a Crow?"

 

"Because of Dareth. He was the closest thing I had to a big brother. He took me in after my parents were killed. I wanted to be like him," Jacobus answers sadly as he quickly wipes his eyes on his sleeve, catching the tears before they can fall. "The Antaam killed my family— they were just normal people, they weren't going to do anything wrong or try to fight back. The best way to keep what happened to my family from happening to other innocent people, I needed a way to kill the bad guys before they got the chance."

 

Fallon smiles affectionately at Jacobus. "I didn't know Dareth terribly well, but I know that he thought the world of you and your potential as a Crow. There are many morally grey aspects to our job, and there always will be, but often we are hired to deal with guilty individuals. Take the anger you feel about your parents and Dareth, mold it into perseverance and determination, and use it to make him proud."

 

For the first time since she joined him on the roof, Jacobus smiles. "Thanks, Fallon."

 

Hearing someone use her real name catches Fallon off guard. She blinks lamely before responding with a short laugh. "You're the first person not to call me Rook in a very long time. I'd almost forgotten that people know my name."

 

"Do you want me to call you Rook?" Jacobus asks sweetly, and Fallon swears her heart grows three sizes.

 

"Nah, you can call me—"

 

The not-so-distant cry of a dragon to the west drowns out the end of Fallon's sentence, and her head snaps in the direction of the sound. Fallon's eyes widen as she and Jacobus scramble to their feet, staring in horror and disbelief as they take in the sight of the massive beast heading straight for Treviso. The dragon opens its mouth wide, and instead of fire, ice blasts from its mouth onto the unsuspecting area below. While the sight of an ice dragon in Trevisio is horrifying on its own, Fallon notices as the dragon gets closer that there is a large boil of blight on the crown of its head— like the blight boils she witnessed in D'Meta's Crossing.

 

This isn't just a dragon attack. This is a message from the Evanuris.

 

"Get inside. Now!" Fallon pushes Jacobus towards the ladder that will take them back inside the Diamond. Her eyes remain on the dragon while she waits for Jacobus to descend the ladder, watching helplessly as it crosses over the western border of Treviso with two powerful beats of its wings and unleashes another stream of ice. Sitting on the back of the dragon is none other than Ghilan'nain. A chill runs down Fallon's spine as the screaming in the streets begins.

 

Inside the Diamond, chaos has erupted. Crows are running in every direction, guildmasters and Talons yelling orders to any members of their Houses and the lesser Houses tied to theirs within earshot. In the center of the chaos, she sees Viago standing with a dark-skinned elf in Grey Warden armor, and…is that a baby griffin?

 

"Rook!" Viago yells when he sees her running over to them.

 

"The dragon is blighted," Fallon pants as she approaches. "Ghilan'nain is with it."

 

"Ghilan'nain? The elven goddess, Ghilan'nain?" The Grey Warden interjects.

 

"Rook, this is Davrin. Bellara just left him here before running back through the Eluvian— Minrathous is apparently also under attack."

 

In the chaos of her own day, Fallon completely forgot that Harding and Neve went to the Anderfels to meet with Harding's contacts in the Grey Wardens today. They were going to recruit a Warden who understands the blight for the team. Davrin must be their guy.

 

The Warden reaches out to shake Fallon's hand. His grip is firm, and Fallon's eyes shamelessly drop to his biceps, the muscles flexing as they grasp hands. Then Fallon takes in the rest of Davrin's appearance, and she can feel the way her cheeks heat as she looks at him. There's a confident smirk on his face that only intensifies once he notices Fallon's blush.

 

Davrin is hot, and he's as aware of this fact as Fallon is.

 

Thankfully, Fallon is able to recover quickly and focus on the task at hand, regardless of how attractive her new teammate is. "Nice to meet you, Davrin. Vi, did you say Minrathous is under attack? Is it another blighted dragon?"

 

"It is," Davrin confirms. "Bellara was waiting for us at the Crossroads when we got back from the Anderfels— the Shadow Dragons sent an SOS. She brought me here so we could grab you and go to Minrathous. We got here right as the dragon announced itself."

 

"Shit," Fallon swears. There's no way she can go to Minrathous. Treviso has nobody to protect it.

 

"We're staying here, I assume?" Davrin unsheathes his sword.

 

"Minrathous has the Shadow Dragons, the Templars, and the Magisters. Hopefully that will be enough," Fallon decides with a furtive nod. Guilt washes through her as she thinks about Neve, but Fallon can't be in two places at once, and Treviso is her home. "Where's Lucanis?"

 

"He and Teia left to follow the dragon. It looked like it was heading for the Antaam garrison."

 

The area of town that Fallon, Lucanis, and Bellara just cleared of stolen qaamek. That cannot be a coincidence. With every day that passes, Fallon becomes more convinced that Treviso's problems are as intertwined with the elven gods as the problems Fallon and her team are trying to solve.

 

"Right. Davrin, welcome to Treviso, and welcome to the team. You're about to have a hell of a first day." Fallon laughs darkly.

 

Another loud roar from the dragon echoes across the city. "Rook, you need to go," Viago says urgently, and Fallon pulls her bow off her back.

 

"Be safe, Vi," Fallon gives her mentor one last look before turning on her heels and taking off towards the exit. "This way, Davrin!"

 

Fallon hears the sound of armor clinking behind her, and the squawk of a griffin as she darts towards the rooftop zip line that will get them to the garrison fastest.

 

"So who's your friend?" she tilts her head to the griffon at Davrin's side when they catch up to her.

 

"This is Assan. He's under my protection, but is also being trained to fight off darkspawn."

 

Fallon's heart lurches as she hears her late father's name. "Arrow in Elven." She says simply, translating the griffin's name into Common.

 

"Yeah. Hopefully, he'll learn to shoot as straight as one eventually." Davrin smiles, and Maker, does he have a nice smile.

 

The closer they get to the garrison, the more destruction there is, and Fallon's heart sinks as she takes in the sight of the usually beautiful and lively city covered in ice and debris. In some places, there's also fire and ash from the Antaam cannons, because of course the Antaam are taking the opportunity to gain more ground within the city— probably at the orders of the Evanuris. Every street they pass from above is filled with Antivan Crows fighting off Antaam soldiers.

 

Fallon and Davrin pass the dragon circling overhead and shooting ice into the streets haphazardly as they reach the garrison. An uneasy feeling settles in Fallon's stomach— like Ghilan'nain has been waiting for Fallon to arrive before landing. Solas's glimmering dagger on her belt practically hums with magic in confirmation.

 

Teia and Lucanis are busy fighting Antaam, but at first, they don't notice them. One's body hits the ground, and relief floods Teia and Lucanis's faces at the sight of Fallon. "Thank the Maker. That dragon has been hovering for like ten minutes." Teia tells Fallon as she embraces her.

 

"They're waiting for me," Fallon informs them all, as she removes the dagger from its sheath. "I've got what Ghilan'nain wants."

 

As soon as the dagger is fully revealed, the dragon begins its descent, aiming to land in the open area of the garrison that the Antaam use for training. Davrin lets out a low whistle. "You'll have to tell me more about that dagger after we kill this dragon."

 

"I'll explain everything if we live through this," Fallon laughs. "Lucanis, this is Davrin and Assan— our blight experts and newest members of the team. Davrin, this is Lucanis Dellamorte of the Antivan Crows."

 

The two men shake hands, sizing each other up as they do— literally in Lucanis's case, as Davrin is almost a full head taller than he is. No words are exchanged between them, and Lucanis turns to Fallon afterwards, a look of steely fury in his eyes.

 

"Let's show Ghilan'nain what happens when you cross the Antivan Crows." Lucanis growls, and his eyes flash purple before he takes off in a sprint in the direction of the dragon.

 

"If we live through this, you can also tell me why you're working with a man possessed by a demon." Davrin notes, voice full of mistrust for the assassin who just sprouted wings.

 

"It's complicated," Fallon answers with a sigh before following after Lucanis, with Davrin and Assan on her heels.

 

~*~

 

The dining room is silent as Fallon and her team sit at the large table in varying states of disarray. Harding has a nasty gash across her cheek that Bellara is tending to, while Bellara herself looks like she's been through a wind tunnel, with more pieces of her hair falling around her face and down her back instead of being contained by her usually immaculate updo. Lucanis is sewing stitches into his own forearm, closing a wound he incurred when the dragon took a swipe at him with its tail. Davrin is shirtless, icing a burn on from an Antaam fire cannon that he took to the shoulder. Physically, Neve is fine, but she chose to sit at the opposite end of the table, as far away from the rest of the group as possible while she sips wine from her glass and stares into the fire with a hardened expression on her face.

 

There's a tear in Fallon's leathers on her outer thigh where the dragon's talon tore through it when it kicked her, and while her clothes took the brunt of the damage, there's still a sizable slice across her thigh from skidding across the rocks after flying backwards. It won't need stitches, but it will damn sure hurt for the next couple of days. Then there's the matter of her ankle. Fallon doesn't think it's broken, but she stumbled over a piece of fallen debris when they were walking back to the Diamond after the fight with the dragon, and her ankle turned in a direction it shouldn't have.

 

Walking on it proved to be both difficult and painful, so Davrin ended up carrying her, bridal style, all the way back to the Lighthouse. Lucanis also volunteered, but Davrin got to Fallon first. Fallon would be lying if she said it hadn't pleased her just a little to see the way Lucanis frowned as the Grey Warden picked Fallon up like she weighed nothing, and if anyone asks, she wrapped her arms around Davrin's neck for something to hold onto as he carried her; not because it made Lucanis's jaw clench.

 

"Sooo…that could have gone worse," Fallon says lightly in an attempt to break the silence. The looks she receives from her team, Neve and Lucanis in particular, indicate that everyone thinks it went as badly as they possibly could have gone.

 

"The Venatori seized Minrathous while everyone was distracted. You didn't see it, but it's a fucking mess, Rook." Neve says coldly, her stare as icy as the magic she wields.

 

"I'm so sorry, Neve. I tried to get there in time—"

 

"I know," Neve cuts Fallon off sharply. "You can't be in two places at once, and Treviso is your home. As soon as Bellara told me there was a dragon there, I knew you weren't coming. It's not your fault."

 

Despite her words, Neve's tone gives Fallon the impression that the mage absolutely thinks Fallon is at least partially to blame for the outcome in Minrathous. Fallon doesn't call Neve on it, though; she already feels guilty. Picking a fight with Neve won't help anyone. Fallon sighs and stares at her lap.

 

"You need to clean that wound, Rook," Davrin says gravely. "That dragon was blighted. I glanced at the cut while we were walking back. While I don't think the cut is deep enough for the blight to affect you, we don't want to wait around and find out, either."

 

"Is that a possibility? Rook could be blighted?" Lucanis asks as he looks back and forth between Fallon and Davrin, worry etched across his face.

 

"It happened to the Viper," Neve shares bitterly. "Took a claw to the gut. The blight was already sinking in by the time Rook showed up, so she's probably fine."

 

"I cut it on the rocks after the dragon kicked me. Its talon just ripped the clothes. I'll be fine." Fallon assures everyone with a half smile.

 

"You still need to clean it, Rook," Davrin repeats." And we need to do something about your ankle."

 

"If you can get her ankle and the cut stabilized tonight, I can heal it properly tomorrow. Neve was in bad shape while we were still in Minrathous, so I had to take care of her there, and after I finish with Harding, I'm going to be tapped out for the day." Bellara looks at Fallon apologetically.

 

"It's alright, Bellara. Thank you for looking out for Neve and Harding. I'll be okay with good, old-fashioned, non-magical healing," Fallon promises. "I'm going to need help getting back to my room, though. Should probably change into something clean before treating this."

 

"I'll take you." Davrin and Lucanis volunteer at the same time. Lucanis immediately glowers at Davrin, but the Warden doesn't react, his eyes trained on Fallon to see what she decides. Bellara and Harding look at each other with raised eyebrows, then look to Fallon with interest as though they're watching one of Bellara's serials play out in real time.

 

"Are you sure that you don't mind, Davrin?" Fallon asks, ignoring the way Lucanis visibly deflates when Fallon chooses Davrin. "You haven't even picked a room and unpacked yet."

 

"It'll still be there after you're taken care of," Davrin flashes her a genuine smile as he sets down his ice pack. "Are you ready to go now?"

 

Fallon nods, then turns her head to address Neve again. "If you need to go back to Minrathous for a while to help out there, I understand. We'll send word if we need you."

 

Neve finishes her wine in one gulp and stands. "I'm heading back there now. I'll be in touch. Glad everyone is alive and relatively unharmed." That sentiment, at least, Neve seems to mean it.

 

Davrin is by her side in two steps, and he scoops her into his arms again. He's still shirtless, and the feeling and heat of his broad chest and muscled torso against her body is a welcome distraction from the pain in her ankle. She wraps her arms around Davrin's neck again. "Bells, just come find me in the morning once you're up, okay?"

 

"Sure thing, Rook! Have a good night!" Bellara smiles brightly at her, like they haven't just had the worst day of this job that they've had so far. If Fallon could bottle her sunny disposition and sell it, she would.

 

Fallon directs Davrin to her room, and he carefully sets her on her couch once they arrive. "Where are your clean clothes? Do you have shorts?"

 

"In the wardrobe. My sleep clothes should be in the top drawer on the left. There's also a first aid kit in the bottom drawer on the left, as well."

 

Davrin returns to her a moment later with her pajamas and the first aid kit. He sets them on the small coffee table. "I'm gonna just… go stand in the corner and stare at the wall while you change." It's the first time since meeting Davrin four hours ago that the elf has seemed even the slightest bit uncomfortable, and Fallon can't help but laugh softly at his retreating back.

 

It takes Fallon far longer than it would typically to rid herself of her armor and bloodstained clothes, thanks to her inability to stand, but she gets there in the end. When she finally tells Davrin he can turn around, Fallon is leaning against the arm of the couch with her feet propped up, legs and feet bare, exposing the extent of her injuries. A few additional bruises have begun forming on her thighs, the ankle she injured is swollen, and the cut on her thigh is bleeding again. She also noticed a bruise on her hip above the cut, likely from when the dragon kicked her, since its foot was almost a third the size of her body.

 

Davrin rejoins Fallon and kneels in front of her, examining the cut. "Well, the good news is that we won't have to amputate it," He looks up at her with a boyish grin. "The bad news is it's going to hurt like hell to have your pants rubbing against this for a few days."

 

"A small price to pay if I get to keep my leg." Fallon grins back at him. She watches as Davrin opens the first aid kit and removes the necessary materials to clean her wound and wrap her leg.

 

"So, you wanna tell me about why the gods are after you first, or explain Lucanis's demon?" Davrin asks casually as he begins to clean the cut on her thigh with meticulous care.

 

"Let's go with both, because everything is kind of connected at this point." Fallon laughs. Then she proceeds to tell Davrin everything he needs to know about the gods, Solas, Zara, and Spite as he works. She tells him about the Crossroads and the Caretaker, as well as D'Meta's Crossing and the Antaam occupation of Treviso. Fallon even tells Davrin in so many words that she and Lucanis knew each other before all of this, as he wraps her ankle. She doesn't explain that Lucanis is her ex-boyfriend, but Davrin seems to have figured that out on his own.

 

"So there is history there?" Davrin summarizes as he finishes wrapping her ankle. "I only ask because every time I've gone near you since we left Treviso, Lucanis looks at me like he knows a thousand different ways to kill me and no one would find my body."

 

"To be fair, he does." Fallon teases. "But yes. We were…involved."

 

"But you're not now."

 

"We are not."

 

"Does he know that?" Davrin raises an eyebrow as he looks at Fallon.

 

Fallon pauses for a moment before answering. "It was his idea."

 

"Idiot," Davrin scoffs, and Fallon gives him a look of surprise at his honesty. "Sorry, that was rude. I'm sure Lucanis— actually no, that will make me sound like even more of a jackass, so I'm gonna just shut up."

 

"It's all good, Davrin, really," Fallon laughs. "You've been part of the team for like six hours. Everyone gets to shove their foot in their mouth at least once until they've been with us for at least two days."

 

"Well, that's a relief," Davrin chuckles. Then he stands. "If you're good here, I need to go check on Assan."

 

"Yeah, I'm good— probably just to pass out and hope that everything was just a nightmare when I wake up. G'night, Davrin."

 

"Night, Rook."

 

Fallon does not watch the shirtless elf leave, mainly to keep herself from ogling his body some more, instead grabbing her blanket and sliding down a bit more on the sofa to settle in for the night. She closes her eyes as soon as she hears her bedroom door open, then close. Fallon inhales deeply and exhales slowly, confident that sleep will take her quickly.

 

"Are you alright?" The low timbre of Lucanis's voice breaks the silence. Fallon screams and her body jerks so violently from surprise that she falls off the couch.

 

A grunt of pain, followed by taking the Maker's name in vain, leaves her mouth as she hits the stone floor. Lucanis is at her side instantly. "Mierda, Rook, I'm so sorry." Lucanis apologizes profusely, but he's also trying very hard not to laugh.

 

"You're lucky I don't sleep with daggers under my pillow here, or one would be lodged in your neck right now," Fallon scowls at Lucanis, wincing as they work together to get her back on the sofa. "At least announce yourself next time, my god."

 

"I should have— I assumed you heard me walking in."

 

"What a ridiculous thing to assume when you know that you're footsteps are as silent as the grave I still might send you to for scaring the hell out of me," She threatens, but there's no real bite behind it. "To answer your question, though: yes, I'm fine. Davrin patched me up well enough that I'll survive until Bellara can heal me properly."

 

Lucanis nods, and his eyes drift to the large bandage on her thigh, and the medical tape surrounding it that Davrin wrapped around Fallon's thigh to keep the bandage in place. His eyes narrow, and Fallon rolls her eyes. "Whatever it is that you're thinking, stop it right the fuck now, Lucanis."

 

"I was just going to ask if he was respectful." Lucanis clarifies, like somehow telling her what the asinine thought he had would make it better.

 

For a moment, Fallon considers sharing with Lucanis that any time Davrin's medical work required him to go near her inner thigh, he had Fallon do it herself. It was actually sweet how careful Davrin was, so he didn't unintentionally disrespect her space. In the end, Fallon decides not to share any of this with Lucanis because she knows why he's being a prick. Going into detail won't change that.

 

"If he wasn't, do you think he would've walked out that door? We both know I can take care of myself. Don't be an asshole to the new guy because you're jealous that someone else swooped in to take care of me."

 

Lucanis frowns, then scoffs at her. "Jealous? I'm not jealous. Why would I be jealous?"

 

Fallon laughs incredulously at his denial. "You are jealous, and Davrin noticed the murderous way you kept staring at him. He asked me if we are together, but don't worry: I made it very clear that you and I are just friends."

 

Hurt flashes across Lucanis's face as she emphasizes their current relationship status, but it dissolves quickly, and Lucanis schools his face into something more neutral. "Right, and as your friend, I was just looking out for you."

 

"Sure," Fallon says with a skeptical nod. "Did you need anything else, or were you just checking to see if Davrin was respectful?"

 

Lucanis hesitates. He opens his mouth to say something, then he closes it again, like he thought better of whatever it was he wanted to say. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright, Rook. You took some hard hits today. Both with the dragon, and before, with the Antaam and the qaamekmaster." He settles on when he finally answers her.

 

"Like I said, I'm fine— or I will be once I get some sleep and Bellara heals me," There's a hint of annoyance in Fallon's voice as she repeats herself. "You've done what you came here to do, so if that's all, I'm exhausted. I imagine you are as well."

 

Lucanis runs a hand through his hair and grips the back of his neck awkwardly as he averts her gaze. "About that—Spite behaves better when you're around, and I am exhausted. Would— would it be okay if I slept here tonight?" When Lucanis looks back at her, his eyes are hopeful.

 

Fallon blinks in disbelief at the man who told her just last week that it was a bad idea for them to share a bed because they're friends. She almost asks Lucanis what changed between then and now, but Fallon already knows the answer.

 

There was no Davrin last week.

 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Fallon scoffs. "Get out."

 

Lucanis's brow furrows in disappointment— like he wasn't expecting Fallon to say no. "I thought you'd be happy about this."

 

"I would be, if wanting to mark your fucking territory wasn't the only reason you're doing it," Fallon accuses him, the look on her face daring him to deny it.

 

Lucanis must have a death wish, because he proceeds to shake his head as a look of offense replaces disappointment. "That's not—"

 

"It is, because the only thing that has changed between last week when you walked out after I begged you to stay, and now, is that you feel threatened because Davrin is hot and he stole your thunder today. The fact that you even dare to try and claim otherwise is honestly insulting."

 

"Okay, it's not just that—" Lucanis admits, like doing so will somehow save the situation.

 

"Even if there's a second, legitimate reason, feeling threatened by Davrin cancels it out because it's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard, because I've spent weeks telling you that I don't want to be just friends. You're the one who keeps shooting me down, not the other way around." Fallon laughs, shaking her head.

 

As Fallon calls him out, color rises in Lucanis's cheeks from embarrassment. "You are right, and I'm a fool."

 

"I know," Fallon shakes her head in disappointment. "Now, while I would love to hear whatever other reason you had for changing your mind, if there even is one, I don't want to hear it right now. I miss you, but I'm not going to reward you for acting like a jealous prick, so please leave."

 

Lucanis lets out a resigned sigh. "I understand. I'm sorry for being foolish. Have a good night."

 

"Good night, Lucanis." Fallon does not watch him leave and begins trying to get comfortable on the couch once more; the only indication that he's even leaving is the sound of her door opening.

 

"For what it's worth," Lucanis says from her doorway. "I miss you, too, Fallon. More than I think you realize."

 

Fallon's heart lurches as Lucanis uses her real name, not the nickname she's grown accustomed to hearing him say. It's the first time Lucanis has called her Fallon since arriving at the Lighthouse, and she closes her eyes as the hope that swells within her is so overwhelming that tears spring to her eyes.

 

Frustrated with Lucanis for his needless jealousy, as Fallon may be, if seeing the way Davrin looked at her is what it took for Lucanis to get his head out of his ass, Fallon now owes Davrin an incredible debt, and the Grey Warden doesn't even know it.

Notes:

lucanis, you fuckin' idiot.

thank you for reading! all your comments and kudos make my day!!

Chapter 8: We're Not Friends

Summary:

swimming lessons.

friends just sleep in another bed
friends don't treat me like you do
i know there's a limit to everything
but friends won't love me like you

Davrin the Grey Warden is, without question, the worst person Lucanis has ever met.

 

Not because Davrin is evil, but because he's good— the type of good that judges people from a morally superior high ground if he disagrees with the choices they make. More than once, the Grey Warden has brought up the fact that the Crows kill people for money, and the moral and ethical standards that Davrin believes Lucanis lacks because he's a Crow. The topic has even come up between Davrin and Lucanis while out on missions with Fallon. Despite the fact that Fallon is just as much a Crow and the assumed heir to the title of Talon of her house as Lucanis is to his, Davrin never questions her morality and ethical standards. Lucanis wishes he could chalk it up to the fact that Fallon is leading a team that's trying to save the world, and therefore she gets a pass as an assassin-for-hire, but Lucanis knows better.

 

Davrin holds Fallon to a different moral standard than Lucanis because Davrin wants her, and it's driving Lucanis insane. Not just that Davrin's motives are so transparent, it's pathetic, but the fact that Davrin wants Fallon at all. After the dragon attack, Lucanis was already waiting outside Fallon's bedroom door for his turn to check on her when Davrin broached the topic of Lucanis and Fallon's relationship. He heard what Davrin called Lucanis when he found out that it was Lucanis's idea not to continue his relationship with Fallon.

 

"Idiot."

 

It wasn't just what Davrin called him. It was the way he said it— like he couldn't believe his own luck because Lucanis was stupid enough to fumble a relationship with the most perfect woman in all of Thedas. Like Lucanis doesn't already know. Like Fallon doesn't already know. Every time Davrin compliments her, or offers to do things around the Lighthouse, volunteers for missions before anyone else can even raise their hand, or subtly flirts with Fallon, Spite suggests a new way to kill the Grey Warden.

 

Between Lucanis and Spite, they have devised fifty different ways.

 

Since the dragon attack, Lucanis has not tried to sleep in Fallon's room again. Despite Fallon's (accurate) accusations that Lucanis changed his mind because he was jealous of Davrin, it really wasn't the only reason Lucanis asked. The poor timing of Davrin's arrival just made it seem that way. What Neve said to Lucanis about needing to let Fallon decide for herself who and what she deserves stuck with him. Apologizing for not giving Fallon that choice was already on Lucanis's agenda before ever knowing a dragon would attack Treviso, or that Davrin would show up in shining armor with hulking muscles, a wyvern scout attitude, and a baby griffin on his heels.

 

Not that Lucanis could ever hate Assan. He's too damn adorable, and it's not Assan's fault that his keeper is a pendejo.

 

Smells like. Wet griffin and wood chips. In the kitchen.

 

Spite has taken to announcing to Lucanis whenever somebody is using the kitchen on the other side of their bedroom wall. On the one hand, it's helpful to know who is nearby— especially if it's Harding. The scout is sweet, and she tries so hard, but mierda, that woman cannot cook. Hovering over Harding when she's in the kitchen is as much for Lucanis's safety as it is the dwarf's, as he's stopped her from burning herself, her food, or the kitchen itself at least three times now.

 

On the other hand, Lucanis can now identify which of his teammates is in the kitchen based on what Spite says he smells, which is somewhat peculiar. Neve is jasmine and snow. Bellara is ink and electricity. Harding is jam and spearmint. Wet griffin and wood chips were the easiest to figure out.

 

Lucanis listens for a moment to see if he can hear what Davrin is doing and if he's alone. One set of boots scuffing against the stone floor, and also the clicking of claws against it impatiently and without any real pattern. Assan is with Davrin and is jumping around. It must be time for Assan's dinner.

 

Happy squawks follow the sound of a bowl clattering to the ground, then silence from the griffin, presumably because he's eating.

 

"What should we cook for dinner for the team, boy?" Lucanis hears Davrin ask his feathered friend. "What do you think Rook would like?"

 

Lucanis's eyes narrow as he looks up from the book he's supposed to be reading for the book club Bellara and their newest team member, Emmerich, started last week. Now, Davrin is trying to impress Fallon by cooking. Lucanis's eyes roll heavenward towards the Maker as he shakes his head.

 

We should. Sabotage!

 

How do you recommend we do that?

 

Tell him! Rook's favorite food. Is something. She hates!

 

I don't think Davrin is dumb enough to take my advice on wooing Rook.

 

Might be!! We can try!

 

Lucanis sighs as he sets his book down with one hand and rubs his face with the other.

 

Rook would know we had something to do with it and get mad at us.

 

She'll get mad at Lucanis. Not Spite. Rook never gets mad. At Spite.

 

She will if she hears that she had to go hungry tonight because telling Davrin to cook something she won't eat was your idea. Hungry Rook is an angry Rook, and I will be the one who suffers.

 

You're NO FUN!

 

The clattering of pots and pans coming from the kitchen distracts Lucanis from responding to Spite. He shoots to his feet, exits the pantry, and is treated to the sight of Davrin splayed out on the floor with Assan's front paws on his chest, various cooking instruments surrounding them.

 

"Is everything alright out here?" Lucanis snorts with laughter as the griffin and Warden both look in his direction.

 

"Yeah. I tripped over Assan. Apparently, he thought he'd help cook dinner." Davrin lets out an exasperated sigh.

 

"I have a feeling that allowing Assan to cook dinner is some sort of health violation," Lucanis says drily as Davrin pushes Assan off himself and stands.

 

"You're probably right. I'd hate to be the guy that gets the whole team killed because my ward is out of control." Davrin gives Lucanis a warning look to accompany the passive-aggressive tone of his statement. They're no longer talking about Assan. They never are when Davrin says things like this.

 

Lucanis's lips form a thin line as he stares at the Warden.

 

Does he. Mean ME!

 

"Yes, Spite, yes. Davrin was talking about you." Lucanis replies to the demon out loud as he maintains eye contact with Davrin, a hint of a snarl on his face. Davrin's nostrils flare as fear flashes through his eyes.

 

He's afraid. Of us! Spite cackles.

 

"No, we can't throw him off the side of the Lighthouse into the Fade. Who would feed Assan?" Lucanis carries on as if Spite had asked him an actual question. The griffin even squawks in reply, making Lucanis chuckle softly.

 

Lucanis. Is having FUN! LUCANIS IS HAVING FUN! Spite sounds both utterly shocked and overjoyed by this turn of events as he hovers beside Lucanis.

 

"Yes, I suppose we'll have to let him live. For Assan's sake. For now." Mirth exudes from Lucanis's entire being as he stares Davrin down, watching as the elf's fists clench.

 

Davrin opens his mouth to say something, but the doors to the dining room burst open. Davrin and Lucanis both whip their heads around to see who is joining them. The sight of the Qunari female walking between Harding and Fallon strikes Lucanis like lightning as the memory of one of the worst nights of his life resurfaces. Lucanis knows this woman. Technically, so does Fallon, even though Fallon was unconscious the last time they saw the Qunari. This woman saved Fallon's life.

 

Lucanis holds Fallon's unconscious body in his arms, trying not to shake from a combination of fear and rage. Someone tried to drown Fallon tonight, and if it weren't for the tall, silver-haired Qunari female currently kneeling by his side, Fallon may not have survived it. He takes a good look at her, committing the face of Fallon's savior to memory.

 

"You are an angel sent by Andraste herself." Lucanis praises the Qunari with tears in his eyes.

 

The Qunari shrugs. "Drowning someone is vashedan. If you're gonna be a murderer, at least don't be a coward about it."

 

"I couldn't agree more." Despite the situation, Lucanis snorts with laughter and wipes the tears off his face. Lucanis carefully scoops Fallon's motionless body into his arms and stands. The Qunari follows suit, and Lucanis is astonished by how much taller than him she is. He's not the tallest man on a good day, but the way she towers over him…Lucanis vaguely thinks that she would make a hell of an intimidating Crow. The Qunari points him in the direction of Fallon's assailant, and then it is time for them to part ways. "Thank you again. I'm not sure if the words are enough. Just know that if we ever meet again, I owe you an incredible debt."

 

The woman shakes her head vigorously. "You don't owe me anything. Saving her was the right thing to do."

 

"Mierda," Lucanis swears in surprise as the Qunari's eyes meet his. He smiles. "It's you!"

 

"It's me," The Qunari greets him with a half-smile. She really doesn't seem terribly thrilled to be here. "I'd say it's nice to see you again, but since we're trying to take down a bunch of gods, I'm not so sure it is, yet."

 

"Lucanis, Davrin, meet Taash. Our dragon expert, and my apparent savior." Fallon introduces herself with a broad smile as she bends down to greet Assan, scratching him behind the ears.

 

"Wait, you know each other, too?" Davrin interjects in confusion.

 

"I wouldn't say we know each other, but we have met. I helped this one save that one from drowning in Treviso like a year and a half ago." Taash clarifies as she points between Lucanis and Fallon, respectively.

 

"Rook can't swim," Lucanis informs everyone.

 

"Hey! In my defense, I was unconscious when the two of you saved me from drowning!" Fallon pouts.

 

"Not that it would have mattered if you were conscious, because you still can't swim." Lucanis snorts.

 

"I'll teach you how to swim, Rook." Davrin offers, and Lucanis goes rigid. Before Lucanis's untimely disappearance last year, one of the things that he promised Fallon they would do together upon his return was that he would teach her how to swim. Assuming no one else beat him to it while he was in the Ossuary, it was a promise that Lucanis had intended to keep now that he's out. They've just been a little busy, so Lucanis hasn't had the chance to bring it up.

 

Lucanis bites the inside of his cheek as Fallon makes eye contact with him. The way she kinks her eyebrow as they stare at one another suggests that Fallon remembers Lucanis's promise, as well. Lucanis has to work to keep his facial expression neutral, as opposed to the deep sense of smug satisfaction that he feels because Fallon is not only going to reject Davrin's offer, but she is going to let Lucanis be the one to tell him."Rook already has a swim instructor— he was just otherwise occupied until about six weeks ago," Lucanis settles on. His eyes remain on Fallon's, and he definitely catches the sparkle of mischief in them. "Surely the gods will stop causing chaos for one day so we can go swimming?" His lips twitch as he holds back a laugh and tries to imagine a world where Elgernan and Ghilan'nain would just let them take a break.

 

"Oh yeah, let's just write them a note asking them to take a holiday. They seem reasonable." Fallon's tone is sarcastic, but a smile breaks through as she laughs.

 

"You do have a full team now, Rook, and everywhere we've gone recently has been at least partially surrounded by water. If you and Lucanis want to take a day for swimming lessons, I think the rest of us can handle things here." Harding offers. Lucanis is genuinely stunned—he was under the impression that the dwarf's opinion of him leaned toward apprehension and fear due to Spite. That the dwarf is warming up to him enough to offer to give him time alone with their leader is a huge win, and it makes Lucanis hopeful that the others are starting to come around, too. Lucanis makes a mental note to ask what Harding's favorite meal is, so he can cook it for dinner one evening.

 

"Harding makes a good point, Rook. I imagine you'd be pretty mad at yourself if, of all the things that could kill you these days, it was drowning," Lucanis adds with a slight grin. He does not need to ask to know that if drowning is what ends up killing Fallon, then she will come back to haunt Lucanis as a malicious spirit for letting that be how she goes out.

 

Fallon scratches the top of Assan's head absentmindedly as she considers the suggestion. "Could we go to Arlathan to do it? Pathetic as this is going to sound, I kind of don't want anyone seeing me look like an idiot thrashing about."

 

"Sure, if it will get you to agree to learn how to swim, we can go somewhere secluded." Lucanis chuckles softly.

 

Fallon gives him a grateful smile and turns to Harding. "Think you can hold it down tomorrow?"

 

Tomorrow? Maker, Lucanis was not prepared for Fallon to rip the bandage off and suggest they go tomorrow.

 

"Sure, Rook! Shouldn't be a problem." Harding smiles brightly. "It will give us time to get Taash completely caught up on everything that's been going on."

 

Fallon nods and looks back to Lucanis. "What do you say? You and me, swimming tomorrow?"

 

Lucanis's mouth goes dry as he thinks about spending time with Fallon alone. He's going to have to be close to her, and he will definitely have to touch her. "Tomorrow is fine." Lucanis barely manages to get the words out without sounding nervous.

 

Alone? With Rook? Spite pipes up with interest as the demon realizes the implications of this outing.

 

I will be alone with Rook, yes. Not you.

 

Predictably, that is not the answer Spite wanted, and he lets out an enraged growl. NOT FAIR! WHY JUST LUCANIS?

 

I'm teaching her how to swim. Can you swim?

 

Spite goes quiet for a full five seconds before quietly answering with a resigned, No.

 

That's what I thought.

 

~*~

 

"Please explain to me again why I need to learn to swim in full leather armor, with my weapons strapped to me?" Fallon asks with a soft pout. "Wet leather sounds…awful. And like it will chafe later."

 

"That's why I told you to bring an extra set of clothes, Rook," Lucanis pats her shoulder as he walks past her towards the water's edge. "And you need to learn to swim in your armor because, in our line of work, that is what you will most likely be wearing if you find yourself in a situation where you unexpectedly have to swim. You need to be able to carry the extra weight."

 

Bellara happily pointed to a spot on their map of Arlathan Forest, where she knew a secluded lake was located. It's almost too sheltered, and there's a waterfall on the opposite side of the shore. It's relatively shaded and quiet. The whole setting is practically romantic. Surely, if Bellara knows where this lake is, then she's aware of the scenery. Lucanis can't help but feel like perhaps Bellara sent them here on purpose.

 

The elf has been friendlier towards Lucanis lately, and every time Fallon and Lucanis talk to one another, she gets this weird look on her face. The closest emotion Lucanis can pin to the look is hopeful, but that doesn't feel exactly right. Lucanis has also gathered that Bellara would become very self-conscious and apologize too much if he asks her about it, so the weird look remains a mystery.

 

Lucanis removes his belt of daggers and carefully lays them on the ground. Next, he takes off his gloves, removes his boots, and socks.

 

"What are you doing? I thought you said I need to learn to swim with the extra weight of clothes?" Fallon questions once she realizes Lucanis is removing his clothes.

 

The jacket is next to go, and then Lucanis's vest. "I said you need to learn to swim with the extra weight. I already know how to swim, so I don't need that practice." Lucanis answers smugly as he unbuttons his shirt. Fallon's eyes instantly drop to his torso, and she stares somewhat shamelessly as her jaw slackens. After six weeks of training with Fallon, Lucanis's body is finally starting to resemble its former self again. His armor and clothes finally fit properly again as his muscles have expanded and toned. Fallon swallows hard.

 

Spite manifests beside Lucanis and inhales deeply. Rook WANTS!

 

I know. Lucanis answers Spite silently as he smirks at Fallon. He doesn't need Spite's ability to smell Fallon's emotions as readily as her actual scent to know what Fallon is thinking right now. The faint rosy color of her cheeks, the way her violet eyes dilate so far that the violet is more like a halo around her pupils than her eye color, and the way her tongue darts from her mouth to lick her bottom lip. How Fallon feels is as clear as the water they're about to swim in.

 

Will we. Do something now?

 

Not now. I do actually need to teach her how to swim.

 

After?

 

Probably not.

 

WHY?!

 

She's still mad at me from the other week.

 

Is she? Spite floats over to Fallon and circles her. The demon leans in until his nose is in her hair. Doesn't smell mad. Smells like lust.

 

Lucanis's fingers pause on the final buttons of his shirt, and he tenses as he stares at Spite.

 

"What's wrong?" Fallon frowns when she sees his expression.

 

"Get away from her," Lucanis warns, out loud.

 

Fallon looks around wildly in confusion, stepping away from Spite in the process. "What are you talking about?"

 

The demon grins at Lucanis. Not doing anything wrong! She can't see me. Or feel me.

 

"Spite is right next to you. He was smelling your hair." Lucanis explains, his voice tight as he stares at the demon.

 

Fallon snorts with laughter. "Creepy, especially since I wouldn't have known if you hadn't said something. Tell Spite he needs to respect boundaries and not to sniff someone's hair without their permission."

 

BUT ROOK. SMELLS GOOD!

 

"He can hear you," Lucanis's lips twitch as he holds back a laugh. He looks at the demon. "You heard her. Away." Spite huffs angrily, but he floats away from Fallon and merges with Lucanis once more.

 

Fallon tilts her head curiously. "How often does Spite do that? Hover around the rest of us without our knowledge."

 

"Not often. He doesn't do it to the others. Just you."

 

"I'm flattered." Fallon laughs.

 

"Your attitude towards Spite will never cease to amaze me." Lucanis shakes his head as he finishes removing his shirt. He rolls up the legs of his trousers next, like it will make a difference. They're going to get wet no matter what.

 

"His fascination with me is cute," Fallon shrugs. "It's hard to be wary of him when so far all he's done is smell me and want to talk to me."

 

I. Am Not. CUTE!

 

"Oh, he hated that," Lucanis chuckles. He steps to the edge of the lake and walks into the water until he's knee deep. The water is cool, but not uncomfortably cold, and his body quickly adjusts to the temperature change. Lucanis turns back to look at Fallon and extends his hand. "Quit stalling."

 

For the first time since they started discussing the idea of Fallon learning to swim, she looks nervous. She walks towards Lucanis, entering the water with an uncomfortable look on her face, as her boots are inevitably filled with water, her clothes begin to soak. "Oh, I hate this. My shoes and socks are all squishy." Fallon pouts, and Lucanis can't help but laugh.

 

"You'll get used to it." He chuckles.

 

Once Fallon reaches Lucanis, she takes his hand hesitantly; the uncomfortable expression caused by her wet shoes is replaced with trepidation. "Promise not to let me drown?" Fallon requests meekly. Fallon's gloves are still on, so Lucanis is robbed of the feeling of her skin against his, but his heart stutters in his chest anyway.

 

"I promise," Lucanis squeezes her hand reassuringly. "We're going to walk out until the water is up to our necks or so, that way you can still put your feet on the ground if you need to while we practice."

 

Fallon inhales deeply, then exhales slowly. She nods, indicating that she's ready. "Okay."

 

After two hours, Lucanis wouldn't exactly call Fallon a strong swimmer by any means, but she can tread water, doggy paddle, float on her back, and she knows how to breathe underwater long enough to find her way to the surface. What's important is that Lucanis can confidently say that as long as Fallon is conscious if she finds herself in deep water in the future, she won't drown.

 

As their lesson progressed, Fallon also began removing her armor piece by piece, weapon by weapon, until she had even less clothing on than Lucanis does. It's entirely distracting, and based on the look Fallon gives him as she walks back into the water after removing the last of her clothing so she's in only her undergarments, the elf knows precisely what she's doing.

 

After all, the first time the two of them discussed Lucanis teaching Fallon how to swim, he promised her that it would end with them skinny dipping. Lucanis honestly should have been more prepared for Fallon to choose to make him suffer in this way by reminding him exactly what he's been missing.

 

"This is actually kind of relaxing." Fallon declares as she floats on her back near Lucanis. He makes a noise of agreement as he makes a conscious effort to look anywhere other than at the soft peaks of her breasts above the water. The problem is that no matter where he looks, if he looks at Fallon, Lucanis's sense memory kicks in, and he can practically feel how each and every part of her body feels beneath his hands, just by thinking about it. Needless to say, Lucanis is very grateful that they are neck deep in the water, so it conceals just how badly it's affecting him.

 

"It can be. Though I can't remember the last time I went swimming for pleasure— usually it's an escape route." Lucanis admits.

 

Fallon stops floating and paddles over to Lucanis. They've remained in the part of the lake where the water goes just past their shoulders, and once Fallon is closer, she stands in front of him with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. Before Lucanis can ask what Fallon is up to, he receives his answer in the form of her splashing water directly in his face. Lucanis swears in Antivan as he wipes his face, while Fallon giggles.

 

"Meirda, what was that for?" Lucanis complains.

 

"Fun." Fallon grins.

 

Rook. Is. TOYING with us.

 

I know.

 

She wants. To PLAY. Spite says gleefully.

 

"Oh, splashing me is fun to you?" Lucanis can't help but grin back as she nods.

 

"Maybe." She replies before splashing him again. Lucanis makes a noise of superficial frustration and splashes her back without looking. Even with his eyes closed, the water finds its mark, and Fallon shrieks in disapproval before laughing and playfully pushing more water in Lucanis's direction. Lucanis's eyes shoot open just before Fallon does it again, and he grabs her wrist.

 

"I just taught you how to swim, princesa, I'd hate to have to drown you," Lucanis warns teasingly. At the sound of the familiar pet name, Fallon falters momentarily. Lucanis missed the look on her face when he called her that. It's one part mischief, one part awe that he cares enough to give her a pet name, and two parts adorable. The look is fleeting, though, and it quickly morphs into something more melancholy.

 

"That's not fair," Fallon says sadly. "Calling me princesa, when you've pushed me so far away that you can barely bring yourself to use my real name. It gives me hope, and that's not fair."

 

"Hope?" Lucanis asks.

 

Fallon hesitates before answering, and her eyes drop to the water surrounding them. "Hope that there's a chance for us. That you're not going to push me away forever."

 

Rook. Is sad. Did we. Hurt Rook?

 

You didn't.

 

And boy, if that isn't a realization that hits Lucanis over the head like a brick. This whole time, Lucanis has been worried about the ways Spite could potentially hurt Fallon if Lucanis lost control, but the demon has shown more concern for Fallon's feelings and desires than his host. Between this and his conversation with Neve, Lucanis understands now that he has done nothing but hurt this woman since the day they were reunited. And by the Maker, he's tired of being the reason Fallon is hurting.

 

"After the day in Treviso when we rescued Jacobus, I was already planning on coming to your room and asking to stay. Even before the dragon attacked. I understand how my jealousy of Davrin made it seem like my intentions were purely from a possessive place, and why you kicked me out because of it."

 

Lucanis reaches for Fallon's chin with his free hand. Water drips down his wrist as he lifts Fallon's chin just enough so she has to look at him. "But I swear to you, it was not the only reason. I've been making decisions on your behalf out of fear, and that's not fair. Only you get to decide what you deserve, and I truly did come to your room that night to apologize and tell you that I understand that now."

 

Fallon stares at Lucanis, dumbfounded as he explains, almost as though she can't believe what she's hearing. "So… you're done pushing me away?"

 

Lucanis answers her by leaning in and hesitantly pressing his lips against hers. It's gentle, as anything less chaste feels like it might scare Fallon off. Fallon inhales quickly in surprise, and while she does not kiss him back, Fallon also does not pull away. Lucanis pulls away after a moment or two. "Things might be…complicated because of Spite, and I need to be a little cautious until I have a better idea of how his obsession with you will manifest. But you were right about what you said a few weeks ago: we're not friends."

 

As soon as Lucanis confirms that he agrees with Fallon's assessment of what they are to one another, Fallon sighs in relief. "It's about gods-damned time." With that, she throws her arms around Lucanis's neck, launching herself at him and kissing him so passionately that it almost knocks Lucanis backwards into the water. Within his mind, Spite rejoices as Lucanis's tongue tangles with Fallon's as they refamiliarize themselves with one another. Lucanis's hands slide down Fallon's back, over her ass to the back of his thighs, lifting her beneath the water so she wraps her legs around his waist.

 

A soft whimper passes from Fallon's mouth to Lucanis's as his arousal rests just beneath her backside, and she wiggles slightly in his grasp as she tries to grind against him. Lucanis grunts into her mouth as the brief friction sends a jolt through him. "Princesa," He mutters against her mouth before biting her bottom lip. "Here? Now? In the water?"

 

Fallon pulls back far enough to look at Lucanis, lips kiss-bitten and cheeks flushed as she pants breathlessly. "Why not?"

 

Lucanis chuckles softly as he presses his forehead against hers. "It's not exactly the romantic reunion I pictured."

 

ROMANTIC? ROOK WANTS. NOW! Spite exclaims, outraged that Lucanis is hesitating.

 

Fallon smiles at Lucanis, kisses him once, and when she looks at him again, the look in her eyes is almost desperate as she shakes her head. "I need to know this is real, and that this isn't some sort of cruel nightmare where I'm going to wake up and you won't be there. Te necesito, amor. Ahora, Lucanis."

 

SHE SAID NOW!! SHE WANTS NOW!! Spite echoes, his voice practically vibrating with excitement.

 

The desperation in her voice alone is enough to make Lucanis give Fallon whatever she wants. When Fallon begs him in Antivan, the rest of his restraint unravels. "Sí, princesa, lo que necesites. Soy tuyo." Lucanis kisses her hard as he releases his hold on her thighs. Fallon places her feet back on the ground and her hands join Lucanis's on the front of his trousers, quickly undoing them under the water. Together, they work to push his pants down just enough to release his cock before Fallon jumps back into his arms and wraps her legs around him again. Fallon's hands drop between her legs and push her underwear to the side with one hand and position Lucanis at her entrance with the other.

 

The moment Fallon sinks onto Lucanis's cock, they moan in unison. Lucanis holds her still for a moment, relishing the heat of her around him after over a year of missing this feeling, as he tries not to spend inside of her instantly.

 

Feels like. Home. Spite sighs happily from inside his mind.

 

Home is the perfect way to describe how Lucanis feels about Fallon. Even in the middle of a lake in Arlathan, if Fallon is there, Lucanis is home.

Notes:

i would like to formally apologize for cockblocking you all from the majority of the smut, but lbr there will be more. this chapter just got wayyyy away from me lol.

ALSO reminder that at this point in the story, no one knows Taash is NB so that is why she/her is used!! it will change once they know, dw

if you're enjoying this story i'd love to hear from you! comments are like crack to fic writers.

Chapter 9: Collide

Summary:

plans and preparations

when you and i collide
you bring me to life.

"So you live in the Fade? Why not just go back to your flat?" Chance Candide asks with interest as he sits next to Fallon at the bar in the Crow's hideout at the Cantori Diamond. Fallon ran into her best friend at the Diamond for the first time since her banishment from Treviso ended on the same day as the dragon attack, and she's not ashamed to admit that she cried upon seeing him. After Fallon fucked up the Antaam sting that got her banished, Viago gave her twenty-four hours to pack her things and get out of the city. On top of that, Varric's capture by the Antaam convoy that Fallon freed him from as part of that sting set the dwarf back quite a bit, so he was eager to get back on Solas's trail.

 

Those two factors didn't leave Fallon with any time to say goodbye to Chance or his boyfriend, Diego Cantori. Fallon figured that Viago wouldn't tell her friends where she'd gone beyond "she's out on a contract," because she humiliated House de Riva. Hence, she had to settle for leaving a note for them with the Cantori Diamond bartender, Nico, explaining what she could. Even then, in case the note fell into the wrong hands, or sharing too much would get her into more trouble, she shared very little beyond "I fucked up. Vi is sending me away. Don't know when I'll be back."

 

Fallon sips the tart cherry cocktail named after her, smiling slightly to herself as the liquid hits her tongue. The cocktail tastes like all of her best memories leading up to Lucanis's disappearance, and she savors the warmth that spreads in her chest while the moments play through her mind like moving pictures. "With the way we've been bouncing all over Thedas, it just makes the most sense to be that close to the Crossroads and the eluvians. Plus, the whole team is living there. It would be weird if I didn't."

 

"Everyone, including your ex-boyfriend, according to Teia. That's not weird at all?" Chance sounds skeptical.

 

"No, because he's not my ex-boyfriend." Fallon grins.

 

Chance and Diego look at each other in surprise, then back at Fallon. "Who caved first?" Diego asks like it's the most important question he will ever ask.

 

"Lucanis."

 

Fallon starts to ask why it matters, but is cut off by Diego, who swears as he pulls ten gold coins from his pouch and hands them to Chance.

 

"I told you Dellamorte would give in first, Diego." Chance laughs as he pockets Diego's money.

 

"Were— were you betting on Lucanis and me?" Fallon asks incredulously.

 

"I was under duress when I agreed to this bet," Diego grumbles.

 

"We were drunk." Chance continues laughing.

 

"You were drunk, and your mouth was on my neck. I was never going to deny you, nor was I going to deny my Talon, whose idea the bet was." Diego gives Chance a look that somehow manages to convey both affection and frustration.

 

Just then, another Crow from House de Riva joins the three of them at the bar. Malachi was in his final year as a fledgling when Viago brought Fallon to Antiva. He was the first member of House de Riva that Fallon had to fight during her skill assessment, and he beat the shit out of her. Maybe Fallon is becoming as paranoid as Viago, but sending Malachi feels like a message. One that means she has to earn her place in House de Riva again. Malachi slides onto the stool next to Fallon and gives her a nod. "Welcome back, Rook."

 

"Maker, has Viago told all of you to call me Rook?" Fallon rolls her eyes. She's starting to feel like Viago might be making her earn her own name back.

 

"Is that not what you go by now?" Malachi asks with a smug smirk, not even bothering to hide his amusement at Fallon's frustration.

 

"Do you need something?" Fallon asks, ignoring his question.

 

Malachi reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out an envelope bearing the de Riva crest. "I have a message for you from the Fifth Talon." He drops the missive on the bar unceremoniously.

 

Fallon spins around on her barstool. From her seat, she can clearly see the door to Viago's office across the room. Not only is his office door open, but Viago is sitting at his desk. "The Fifth Talon couldn't have brought that over here himself?" She scoffs. Chance and Diego shake with quiet laughter at Viago's pettiness. If anyone other than Malachi had been selected to deliver her mail, Fallon might have laughed, too.

 

"I don't know. He's a very busy man, and unlike you, I don't question orders." Malachi jabs. The insult is as unoriginal as it is unsurprising, considering that Malachi is one of the primary Crows in House de Riva who regularly gives Fallon a hard time because of Viago's favoritism. He probably enjoyed her fall from grace more than anyone, and Malachi is on the list of Crows that Fallon knows she'll need to watch her back around once she assumes the title of Fifth Talon.

 

"I'll keep that in mind when I'm your boss someday, and you inevitably question me," Fallon says with a saccharine smile. That promptly silences Malachi, and he skulks off, muttering under his breath as he goes.

 

"Maybe it's a good thing you live in the Fade— Malachi can't get there to stab you in the back," Chance assesses, sipping his drink as Fallon opens the missive from Viago.

 

"Malachi values his life too much to try and take mine while Vi is still in charge." Fallon rolls her eyes and shakes her head. She turns her attention back to the missive and begins to read.

 

Got a lead. Antaam working with Venatori to make Gaatlock more potent. Bombs being held in three different locations— all heavily guarded by Antaam and Venatori alike. Keep one alive so we can get some answers. Venatori preferably. They're much easier to crack than Antaam. More afraid of dying. Can get answers on ZR that way, too.

 

— V

 

Beneath his signature, Viago listed out the gaatlock storage locations. Each one is close to an important landmark in Treviso— likely intentionally placed so that the most people are affected when the bombs go off. It also means that Fallon not only needs to dispose of the security detail and destroy the gaatlock, but she'll need to move the gaatlock to a more secure location before destroying it.

 

"I suppose this means happy hour is over?" Chance chuckles.

 

"For me, anyway." Fallon sighs. Despite Viago's attempt to pass this information to Fallon without interacting with her, Fallon has follow-up questions that require her Talon's input. Fallon pockets the missive, then finishes her drink. She embraces Chance and Diego in tight hugs, promising to make time for them as soon as she can, and makes her way towards Viago's office.

 

"Got your note," Fallon says drily as she strolls into the Fifth Talon's workspace, shutting the door behind her. "Did your legs stop working?"

 

"Malachi was eager for something to do, so I gave him something to do that required exiting my office, so we could have this conversation," Viago looks up from the papers on his desk and removes his spectacles. "Admittedly, I was also curious if you would run off to the locations I gave you on your own, or if you'd be smart and come talk to me."

 

"My intelligence has not diminished in my exile— even if Varric and I smoked a lot of elfroot." Fallon smirks, proud that she passed Viago's secret test.

 

"I've never been prouder," Viago says flatly.

 

Fallon leans against the chair opposite Viago's desk. "Getting that gaatlock out safely is going to be difficult," She changes the subject. "I could probably handle most of the guards on my own, but and that much gaatlock is going to take more than one pair of hands. Probably even more than two."

 

"I know. Which is why Teia and I will be accompanying you and whoever else you deem beneficial to get this done."

 

Fallon stares at Viago in barely concealed shock. "You mean like do it as a team? You and me?"

 

"And Teia, and whoever else you deem beneficial, yes," Viago repeats as he gives her a slight smile as he watches realization wash over Fallon in waves.

 

Viago is giving her a second chance. This is her shot at redemption for what happened eight months ago. If she can pull this off, the Fifth Talon just might forgive her. A broad smile appears, and she nods her head. "Thank you," She says softly, and Viago simply nods affectionately. "So you, me, Teia, Lucanis, Taash, and Davrin. We'll get in and get out."

 

"The one with the griffin that Lucanis is always grumbling about what a cabrón he is?" Viago arches an eyebrow skeptically— not flat out questioning her choice in Davrin, but the look on his face means it is absolutely implied.

 

"Yes, they'll work together just fine. They're both so eager to prove they're a better person than the other that they'll behave— wait, when did Lucanis complain to you about Davrin?" Fallon asks, her face filled with confusion.

 

"You're not the only one who makes visits home without the other at your side," Viago chuckles. "Davrin makes sense, though. He's got muscle. Good for moving gaatlock."

 

"My thoughts exactly." Fallon agrees. "Let me get with my team and give them the rundown. Assuming nobody got seriously hurt on the various missions they went on today, we should be able to make this happen tomorrow."

 

Viago looks at Fallon with a hint of pride. "I should exile you more often, because you're finally thinking and acting like a Talon,"

 

The approval makes Fallon feel higher than elfroot has ever made her feel, and it must show on her face because Viago's voice cuts through the internal choir of angels singing happily from the praise.

 

"Don't let it go to your head. Being cocky is what got you exiled in the first place."

 

"Yes, Dad," Fallon teases playfully as she stands. "I'll send word when my team is ready."

 

Viago nods and stands to escort her to his office door. As he opens it for her, Viago gives Fallon a more serious look. "I meant what I said in that letter six months ago, idiota: if you get yourself killed doing this job for Tethras, I will have your new necromancer friend pull your spirit from the Fade and revive you, just so I can kill you again."

 

Fallon gives Viago an affectionate look, and she wraps her arms tightly around him. Viago freezes temporarily as soon as she embraces him. Once he resigns himself to the fact that Fallon has already initiated this public display of affection, and there's no getting out of it, Viago sighs heavily as he relaxes and hugs her back. "I missed you, too, Vi," Fallon says into his shoulder.

 

Viago does not say anything in reply, just squeezes Fallon a little tighter.

 

~*~

 

"Lucanis," Fallon sighs, poorly masking desire as irritation as she feels Lucanis's hand on her hip from behind. Lucanis uses his other hand to brush her ponytail away from her neck, wrap his hand around her hair like it's a rope, and tug her head to the side to kiss her neck. Fallon's eyes flutter shut, tilting her head back until it's resting on Lucanis's shoulder. "We're supposed to be cooking dinner."

 

"How do you expect me to cook when the meal I want is standing in front of me?" Lucanis hums against Fallon's skin, causing her to shiver as heat blossoms through her.

 

"You've already had that meal today. You even went back for seconds." Fallon teases as she recalls Lucanis kissing his way down her body and burying his face between her thighs first thing this morning.

 

"You would deny me my favorite food, princesa? When did you become a cruel woman?" Lucanis slides his hand from her hip to her breast. He gives it a generous squeeze, and her nipples pebble beneath his touch.

 

Fallon arches into Lucanis's hand. "When you decided to make a pass at me in the kitchen while we cook dinner for ourselves and six other people," She scolds him playfully. Lucanis lets go of her hair. His free hand goes the opposite way of its twin, on a mission to reach her belt.

 

Fallon's hand flies to cover his just as he unbuckles the first strap. "Are you trying to get caught?"

 

Lucanis gently takes the meat of her neck between his teeth and bites down in reply. He is. Fallon's moan rumbles in her throat as her lips part. "I see," She says with a lilt to her tone. "You're hoping Davrin walks in, aren't you?"

 

Lucanis bites down harder and growls into her neck as he continues to suck a bruise into her skin. "You're not seriously marking your territory?" She scoffs.

 

He raises his head to reply, and Fallon nearly throws the wooden spoon she's been holding in surprise when Spite replies and not Lucanis. "Rook. Is. Ours."

 

"Spite?! When did you get here?"

 

"When you mentioned. Wet griffin and wood chips." He turns her body around so he can box her in against the counter. The fuchsia sclerae of Lucanis's eyes bore into hers as Spite looks at her like a tiger that hasn't eaten in days.

 

Wet griffin and wood chips? Fallon knew Spite could smell people, but she had no idea that Spite differentiated the team not by their names, but by what they smelled like. She smirks. "Why am I 'Rook', but Davrin is wet griffin and wood chips? You've heard his name."

 

"Because we hate him! He still wants Rook. Our Rook. He can have. His name. When he gets yours. Out. Of. His. MOUTH." Spite latches his mouth to her neck once more, switching sides. Fallon whimpers. Andraste preserve her, because despite the fact that Spite's possessive words are coated in toxicity like a poison, it's one of the hottest things Fallon thinks anyone has ever said to her.

 

"Did Lucanis say you can be here?" Fallon asks, as she always does when Spite gains control.

 

"Yes. No tricks this time." Spite licks the column of her neck, and Fallon swears that Lucanis's tongue feels…different.

 

"May I speak with him?"

 

Spite's head shoots up, and Fallon swears that the demon somehow manages to look disappointed. "Can Spite come back? After?"

 

Fallon cups his face in her hands and kisses him slowly. "No, because we need to cook dinner," She denies him, and Spite looks disappointed. Rather, Fallon thinks the look Spite is trying for is disappointed, but something about the lack of mortal eyes just makes him look like he's scowling. "Maybe later. After Lucanis and I have a discussion about… bringing you into the equation."

 

Spite gives her a feral look and nods in agreement. "Later," He repeats. Then, with two blinks of his eyes, Spite is gone, returning control of Lucanis's body to the shocked-looking Lucanis. "You sent him away. And he listened."

 

"He always listens when I send him away, and you're surprised every time." She points out.

 

"I don't know if it will ever stop surprising me." Lucanis remains in Fallon's personal space, bracing his hands on the counter on either side of her.

 

"What's more surprising is that you allowed him to take control."

 

Lucanis snorts with laughter. "I'm not sure I would call it allowing him to take control, exactly. I just didn't argue with him when he started trying to take over after you mentioned Davrin."

 

"You didn't explicitly say no, so Spite interpreted that as yes," Fallon shakes her head. "He, uh, really wants to be…involved." Fallon doesn't know how else to describe what it is that Spite wants. She doesn't know if Spite knows. It's clear that he understands the concepts of arousal and intimacy, but would the demon even know how to act on it if he could? Sure, Spite kissed and bit her neck just now, but that's what Lucanis was doing when Spite took control.

 

"And his complaints about being excluded grow louder every day," Lucanis huffs in exasperation. "I don't really know what to do about it. I don't trust he won't hurt you, even if it's by accident."

 

Fallon wraps her arms around Lucanis's neck and plays with a few strands of his hair. There's nothing to be done about Spite's complaints outside of giving him what he wants or ignoring him. Lucanis's concerns are valid, even if Fallon is more willing to provide Spite with the benefit of the doubt that he'll be gentle. Well, maybe not gentle, but Fallon believes that Spite won't hurt her intentionally, and he'd do his best not to otherwise.

 

"Maybe it's something we work up to with him slowly. Let him spend time with me—which is ultimately what he wants—to prove he's not going to hurt me and that he'll mind his own strength in other ways. That, and to prove he's not going to take advantage of having control and running off the first chance he gets. Then, once everyone involved is confident Spite can control himself, we give him a chance to be included?" Fallon suggests. She's not sure if essentially placing Spite on probation is the perfect solution, but she's also never had to contend with a demon possessing her boyfriend before. No solution will be perfect, nor will it be orthodox.

 

Lucanis rests his hands on her waist as he considers Fallon's proposal, his thumbs stroking her sides. The pensive look on his face and prolonged silence suggest Lucanis might be conferring with the demon in question, so Fallon waits patiently, quietly continuing to play with Lucanis's hair. Fallon wishes there were a way for the three of them to have this conversation together— maybe Emmerich knows how, since he can hear and converse with Spite as easily as Lucanis can.

 

Eventually, Lucanis lets out a huff of quiet laughter, shaking his head. "Spite agreed to your terms," He informs Fallon as his lips form into a half-smile. "The idea of getting to spend time with you, if he behaves, is apparently very motivating. I might actually get a full eight hours of sleep tonight."

 

Fallon grins back at Lucanis as she steps closer to him. There wasn't much space left between them to begin with, after Spite's little stunt, but now Fallon's body is fully pressed against Lucanis's. She brushes her lips against his before speaking. "Maybe not a full eight hours, if I have any say in the matter," she says as she kisses Lucanis slowly, earning her a soft hum of approval as her tongue traces his lower lip. "But I promise not to keep you up all night."

 

"Mierda, Fallon. Now who's the one trying to distract us from cooking dinner?" Lucanis lets out a puff of air that is somewhere between a laugh and a huff of frustration.

 

"You started it." Fallon giggles softly before kissing him again. Lucanis sighs into her mouth in defeat, unable to deny her, and soon Fallon is right back where she started: pressed against the counter while Lucanis boxes her in.

 

Fallon is ready to abandon dinner altogether and tell the team they're on their own tonight when the door to the dining room bursts open. Taash and Bellara enter, chatting animatedly about the different kinds of dragons, and Lucanis does not pull himself away from Fallon quite fast enough for their activities to go unnoticed.

 

"Oh! Sorry, Rook! Sorry, Lucanis! We thought dinner would be ready by now." Bellara apologizes profusely, blushing even deeper from finding them than Fallon does from being caught.

 

Fallon wipes her mouth and clears her throat. "It, um, might be a little while longer."

 

Taash sighs, slightly disappointed. "I'll go tell the others."

Notes:

PHEW this chapter did not want to be written, which is why it's been 2 weeks since the last update.

if you're enjoying the fic, i'd love to hear from you! comments and kudos are always appreciated and give me serotonin xo.

Chapter 10: My Tongue is Sharp with Spite

Summary:

cw: semi-graphic depictions of violence, blood, murder, dead parents

it's pathetic, how you think you're being smart.
worthless parents make stupid kids, the apple never strays.
your conscience never compromised and ego never pays.

By the grace of Andraste, Teia, Viago, Fallon, and her chosen team members are able to remove the gaatlock from the first two locations on Viago's list almost entirely without issue. As they predicted, there were guards stationed outside the gaatlock sites, in addition to half a dozen more waiting inside. It was thrilling, fighting alongside Viago, and when Fallon's mentor shouted, "Nice shot, Rook!" after one of her arrows struck an Antaam beserker right between his eyes, not even taking a burst of ice to the side mere seconds later could keep the smile off of Fallon's face. It's been a long time since Fallon made Viago proud, and she finally feels like she's doing something right.

 

The gaatlock from the first two sites were boxed up and loaded into wagons manned by a few members of House de Riva, who were then instructed to take the crates to a boat waiting at the dock. Once the gaatlock from the third site was extracted and brought to the boat, the sailing team of House Cantori Crows would take the ship out to the middle of the Amaranthine Ocean and dispose of the crates. If anyone ever found the crates, the bombs would be waterlogged and useless.

 

It was a good plan. A great plan, even. Unfortunately, the Antaam and Venatori guards were ready for the team when they showed up at the third site. Security was doubled, and they were on high alert. Fallon and her team left no survivors at the first two gaatlock sites, so it's not as though someone was able to run and warn the others. Somebody told them that the Crows were on the hunt.

 

Fallon and the others were able to eliminate the guards and extract the gaatlock, but not without injury. Taash got hit with a nasty lightning spell at the base of her spine, paralyzing her temporarily. If Assan hadn't swooped in to harass the Antaam soldier intent on beating Taash until his fellow Qunari became a lifeless husk, the dragon hunter might have gotten killed. It took the combined effort of Teia, Lucanis, Davrin, and Diego Cantori to haul Taash back to the Lighthouse— even after the feeling returned to her legs, Taash could barely walk.

 

This left Viago and Fallon alone to deal with the one Venatori mage they opted to keep alive so they could interrogate him.

 

"Well, we already knew the Crows were compromised. Less than half a dozen Crows knew where we were going tonight, and none of them knew why. That narrows the list of suspects pretty significantly." Fallon pieces together. If it turns out that the traitor is from House de Riva, and it's not who they think it is, Viago is going to be furious. He'll probably murder the traitor himself. Fallon paces back and forth in the basement of the de Riva estate— an area explicitly used for the detention and interrogation of people who needed it. Their captive is still unconscious— he'd taken a brutal blow to the head from the pommel of Davrin's sword.

 

Viago remains leaning against the wall nearest to where the Venatori mage is bound to an exposed pipe. There's a hardened look in his eyes as he stares at the unconscious mage. "I intentionally discussed part of the plan for this evening with Andarateia while our primary suspect in Lucanis's capture was within earshot," Viago admits.

 

Fallon gasps softly. Illario. "The gaatlock was the Antaam's, though. The Venatori just enchanted it. Why would he do something to benefit the occupation?"

 

"Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe his ambitions of power extend beyond just the Crows, and Illario wants to rule Treviso. Or perhaps he's in so deep with the Venatori that he'd be punished by whomever he reports to for not telling them we were coming. It could also simply be that Illario wanted to curry additional favor with the Venatori by selling us out."

 

Fallon doesn't like any of those theories. She also doesn't like that Illario has yet to do anything to dissuade Viago from the notion that Illario is the traitor. Lucanis has repeatedly said that Illario is smarter than people give him credit for, so it's not like any of Viago's suspicions are entirely out of the realm of possibility. Fallon just worries that if it turns out that Illario is behind what happened to Lucanis, Caterina's death, or anything else to do with the current political atmosphere in Treviso, it will send Lucanis down a dark path of revenge that Fallon isn't sure she'll be able to pull Lucanis out of— especially not while Spite inhabits his body.

 

Fallon looks over to the unconscious Venatori, then back to Viago. "I dunno about you, but I'm tired of working off of guesses. I want some gods damned answers," She walks over to the table where Viago has laid out an array of toxins, weapons, and antidotes. Fallon picks up the small bottle she recognizes as standard smelling salts, meant to rouse an unconscious person. She also picks up a second bottle labeled Sweet Talker— an elixir crafted by Viago to poison the body slowly, encouraging the taker to cooperate in order to receive the antidote. "Do you want to be good Crow or bad Crow?"

 

Viago nods approvingly at Fallon's choices in implements of interrogation. "It's your operation. I'll follow your lead."

 

Keeping the smile off of her face at his words is nearly impossible, and it fills Fallon with renewed confidence. Viago trusts her. She can do this. Fallon pulls the Venatori's hood off, and she's surprised to see the man beneath is older. He looks like he's a few years Viago's senior, with strands of silver hair streaking through his jet-black hair and a weathered complexion. Fallon doubts they managed to catch one of Zara's generals, but if they did, she and Viago could hopefully gather all the proof they need to accuse someone of treason tonight.

 

The man jolts awake within seconds of Fallon placing the bottle of salts under his nose, and he looks around wildly. He attempts to free himself from his restraints, but his hands are bound to the pipe securely. "Lovely of you to join us." Fallon greets the man once he's conscious. The expression on the Venatori's face is nothing short of hateful when he looks at Fallon and Viago.

 

"If you think you'll get anything out of me—" He snarls, but Viago lunges for the man like a viper waiting to strike, holding his mouth open so Fallon can quickly pour the Sweet Talker in. Viago closes the man's mouth, and the Venatori struggles against his restraints again as Fallon covers it.

 

"That's it, be a good boy and swallow that, if you want to live." Fallon coos in a condescending tone. The Venatori glares at Fallon, the conflict in his eyes evident as she and Viago work together to keep his mouth closed. She knows from having briefly tasted this poison once upon a time that the concoction intentionally tastes incredibly sweet to encourage its victim to swallow it, and the Venatori barely makes it six seconds before doing as he's told.

 

Fallon pats the Venatori's cheek and steps back a few paces. "You, amicus, have approximately ten minutes before that little cocktail you just had kills you. He has the antidote," Fallon informs him, tilting her head towards Viago. "If you tell us what we want to know, we'll give it to you, and you'll walk out of here. Sound good?"

 

Fallon says the second half in fluent Tevene, and the Ventatori sneers at her.

 

"Why does an Antivan Crow know how to speak Tevene?" The Venatori responds in kind.

 

"I'm just trying to be hospitable," Fallon winks, replying in the man's native tongue before switching to Antivan. "A menos que hables Antivan, compadre?" From behind the Venatori, Viago gives Fallon an amused look as if to remind her that she is barely fluent in Antivan herself. The irony is far from lost on Fallon.

 

When their hostage says nothing in response to being addressed in Antivan, Fallon continues, reverting to Trade. "Truthfully, I don't care what language we have this conversation in, as long as you talk. Why are the Venatori working with the Antaam?"

 

The cultist remains silent. Fallon looks at Viago and nods subtly. Viago grabs the man by his hair and gently presses the tip of his dagger to the man's neck. "Answer her, or I'll break the skin, and you'll be hit with a different poison that will kill you much faster." Viago threatens.

 

"It was a simple transaction. They wanted magically enhanced gaatlock, we wanted additional protection whilst we remain in Treviso." The man attempts to pull his head away from Viago's grip and his dagger to no avail.

 

"Who tipped you off that we were on our way to your warehouse?" Fallon follows up.

 

"An informant who saw what happened at the first two locations." The cultist's answer is far too vague and too casual to be entirely truthful. He's covering for someone.

 

"Really? We've got a poisoned dagger against your neck, with another poison already starting to work its way through your system, and you're still trying to protect someone? I doubt whoever it is would offer you the same courtesy if the tables were turned." Fallon scoffs.

 

"I've been Venatori longer than you've been alive, knife ears. Half the reason I've made it this far is due to loyalty. Not that you'd know anything about that— you Crows are only loyal to the highest bidder." The cultist glowers at her, and Fallon simply rolls her eyes at the dated, racist insult towards her lineage.

 

Viago, on the other hand, reacts violently. Viago yanks the Venatori back by his hair, slamming the back of his head against the pipe. The cultist swears and lets out a grunt of pain. "If you speak to her that way again, I will cut out your tongue. Slowly."

 

 

Were they not in the middle of an interrogation, Fallon would have been completely endeared by the way Viago came to her defense. Not that Fallon ever thought Viago wouldn't defend her, but it's still nice to see it in practice and not theory. Fallon folds her arms across her chest. "Let's try a different topic, then: is Zara Renata still in Treviso?"

 

 

Whether the cultist cooperates because he believes Viago will make good on his threats, or his head simply hurts too much to endure a third, likely concussive, blow in forty minutes, it's unclear. After a moment, the man gruffly replies, "Yes."

 

It's probably the least surprising piece of information they'll receive this evening. Still, it does confirm Lucanis's theory from a few weeks ago: Illario's "contact" was lying to him or being lied to, or Illario lied to Lucanis and Fallon himself. "Did Zara have help from an Antivan Crow to breach the Cantori Diamond in the attack where the First Talon went missing?"

 

A cruel sneer appears on the cultist's face. "Yes."

 

"Who?" Viago growls, pressing the tip of his dagger a little harder against the cultist's neck.

 

"Don't know," The Venatori winces, pulling his neck away from Viago's dagger as much as possible with a hint of fear in his eyes. "Never saw his face. Masks up like the rest of us when he comes and goes, and only speaks to Zara."

 

"Then how do you know they're a Crow?" Fallon counters skeptically.

 

"Knew how to breach your base," the cultist says, as if it's obvious. "Led us there, told us to wait thirty minutes for him to get inside so he could cover his own ass, then to proceed with the attack."

 

Fallon and Viago exchange looks. A male Antivan Crow doesn't exactly narrow it down. There are hundreds of Crows, and sixty percent of them are male. However, the fact remains that only one male Antivan Crow has a motive for wanting Caterina out of the way, and that same Antivan Crow showed up at the Cantori Diamond right before the Venatori attacked.

 

"Were you involved in the ambush and capture of Lucanis Dellamorte?" Viago asks next, and Fallon holds her breath. She's not sure what she'll do if this man was there for that.

 

"No, but I knew about it."

 

"Do you know who sold him out?" Fallon exhales as she tries to remain calm.

 

The cultist shrugs. "Same guy who told Zara how to get into your hideout, I reckon." The Venatori's skin goes pallid as a look of discomfort flashes through his eyes. Viago barely manages to move far enough out of the way that his boots remain clean when the Venatori turns his head and vomits in the spot where Viago had been standing.

 

"The poison is beginning to take effect. We have two minutes. Maybe three before he's dead, so talk fast if you have more questions." Viago warns Fallon. She, of course, knows this, but their captive did not, and he suddenly looks terrified.

 

"Fuck, I'll tell you whatever you want to know if you just give me the fucking antidote!" The cultist pleads desperately before vomiting again as his body tries to figure out how to reject the poison coursing through his body.

 

"Where is Zara Renata?" Fallon asks sharply.

 

"In the old Chantry! Near the café!"

 

"How many more of you are still in Treviso?" Viago follows up.

 

"Three dozen or so? I don't know, pe—people are— are always coming and going." Their captive's speech begins to slow, like forming sentences is starting to take effort.

 

Fallon looks at Viago. "Have you heard enough?"

 

Viago nods and takes a small vial out of his jacket and tosses it to Fallon. She catches it easily, pulls out the stopper, and walks over to the desperate-looking Venatori. Fallon squats in front of him so she's looking him in the eyes. "Never forget that House de Riva showed you mercy." She says icily before pouring the antidote into the man's waiting mouth. He gulps it down, and within ten seconds, the Venatori no longer looks like he's on death's door.

 

The cultist's eyes remain locked on Fallon's as he catches his breath, like he's quite literally trying to breathe life back into his body, and suddenly, a look of recognition appears in his eyes. "Wait. I know you."

 

Fallon frowns, and she looks to Viago, who seems as confused as Fallon feels. Her mentor shrugs. "What do you mean that you know me?"

 

He lets out a bark of laughter in disbelief. "No fucking way—you're her."

 

Fallon pulls out her own dagger and presses it against the cultist's neck. "I'm going to need some more context, if you'd like to keep the life I already gave back to you once tonight."

 

"You're the little Cael'Urden bitch who got away, aren't you? Shit, we thought you died when the ceiling caved in." The Venatori says cruelly. Fallon's blood runs cold as her eyes widen at the use of her former surname, as a memory her psyche had so thoroughly blocked out comes rushing back to her, and she realizes that she knows this man, too.

 

Fallon is fifteen, and running through the halls of her family home in her dressing gown, hand-in-hand with her governess, Danika. Smoke billows through the house as everything around them burns, and Fallon isn't sure if the tears in her eyes started because of the smoke or because Danika just told her that her parents are dead. The door to the servant's quarters of the Cael'Urden estate comes into view as they round a corner, and Fallon feels a large hand grip her wrist.

 

"I don't think so. No one is leaving this house alive." A man in mage robes and a mask snarls at Fallon as he yanks her back, ripping her hand from Danika's grip.

 

"Fallon!" Danika yells, lunging for the teenager's hand, but another mage appears out of thin air and grabs Danika around her waist. Fallon watches in complete horror as the mage runs his sickle across Danika's throat with their free hand. Fallon's governess takes her final breath, grappling at her throat to try and stop the bleeding, but it's no use, and the mage holding her lets Danika drop to the ground unceremoniously to choke to death on her own blood.

 

Fallon screams in despair as the mage holding her wrist begins dragging her away. She thrashes against him, determined not to go quietly if this is how she dies. In one lucky hit, Fallon manages to knee him in the groin, incapacitating him long enough for Fallon to make a break for it. The second mage, the one who killed Danika, attempts to tackle Fallon to the ground as she runs towards him. By the grace of Andraste, she's able to dodge out of the way and keep running.

 

Just as Fallon crosses the threshold of the servant's quarters, a support beam engulfed in flames collapses, dropping to the ground on the side of the entryway that the mages are on, blocking their way to her. Fallon doesn't allow herself to look back at the damage. She just keeps running until she makes it to the hidden passageway out of the estate that she knows exists.

 

Fallon's nostrils flare as she stares at the Venatori. "You were there." She says slowly, anger rising within her.

 

"Fallon—" Viago interjects, almost like a warning.

 

"Fallon, that's right! That's the name the old woman screamed before I slit her throat." The Venatori's eyes are filled with mirth as he looks at her. He must have thought they were going to kill him slowly, or keep him alive just so they could question him again later, if he chose to taunt her.

 

Fallon feels like she's going to be sick. "You killed my parents." Her words come out like a statement, but there's disbelief in her eyes, because there's no way this no-name lackey was the one who took out Assan Cael'Urden, member of the Tevinter Magisterium.

 

"Oh no," The Venatori clarifies, his expression turning downright evil as he laughs. "Zara took that pleasure for herself. She killed your mother first, if that matters to you. I was tasked with holding your father down and making him—"

 

The Venatori does not get to finish his sentence, because Fallon's dagger slashes across his jugular. She watches the wickedness leave the man's eyes before his head falls forward lifelessly, blood spilling over Fallon's hand and dagger as his body goes slack. Fallon drops her dagger as her ankles give out, and she falls forward onto her knees as fury consumes her.

 

Zara Renata killed her parents.

 

Ever since learning who Zara was on the Minrathous job with Lucanis a few years ago, and remembering that she'd seen Zara in their house just over a year before her parents died, Fallon suspected it was possible. That doesn't mean she wanted it to be true.

 

"Zara tried to blackmail my father. She—she wanted his support on a motion to use blood magic on people sentenced to life in prison for her experiments. My father said no. He—he told her that he wouldn't be bought. And she had him killed for it." Fallon says more to herself than Viago as she realizes that the same woman who ruined Lucanis's life is responsible for the events that changed Fallon's entire life.

 

"I know," Viago says evenly.

 

Fallon's head snaps to Viago. He knew?

 

"What?" Fallon slowly gets to her feet, her hands shaking. The Fifth Talon has taken several steps back, and there's a wary look in his eyes. Viago also holds his dagger like he's ready to defend himself, if needed. Fallon is officially as much of a threat as the dead Venatori was before they caught him.

 

"I looked into your family after bringing you back to Antiva. I wanted to know if someone—whether it be a relative or a person coming to finish the job— was going to come looking for you eventually," Viago explains calmly, like he's dealing with a wild animal. Fallon can't believe it never occurred to her that Viago would have looked into her background, given his paranoia. "I was trying to keep you from the fate we're all watching happen to Jacobus in real time: You were young, and angry, and I didn't want you to do anything stupid. By the time I felt certain that you were level-headed enough to understand why I kept it from you, it had been long enough that I decided it would be best if it remained secret."

 

Fallon's head spins, and she swears her ears start ringing. "All this time…all this time, you knew who was responsible…and you just thought it would be for the best if I never found out?"

 

"Despite the way I try to see every possible scenario before it plays out, so I can come up with a plan to avoid or fix it— paranoia, as you and Andarateia like to call it—not even I could have predicted that we would find ourselves in a situation where Zara Renata has infiltrated our ranks and you are part of the team trying to stop her." It's almost strange, seeing Viago like this— trying to dig himself out of a hole that he knows he dug himself. Fallon can't remember a time when she's ever seen Viago so ruffled. So… afraid. Not just that, but Viago is scared of her.

 

And honestly? He should be.

 

Not because Fallon is going to kill him. No. She knows better than to physically attack Viago de Riva. He'd put her down so fast that Fallon wouldn't even have time to get a hit in. There are other ways to hurt Viago anyway. Ways Fallon never thought she would use.

 

Giving Fallon the contract on her ex-boyfriend's life. Telling Lucanis not to pursue her all those years ago. Deliberately meddling in Fallon's love life so she wouldn't get distracted as a fledgling and young assassin. Exiling Fallon when she, arguably, needed Viago most.

 

Those were all things Fallon could forgive. Those were things that, while they angered her or caused her grief (or, in the case of Gabriel, quite literally almost got her killed), Fallon understood why Viago did them.

 

But keeping it from Fallon that Viago definitely knew who was behind the death of her parents?

 

That's an act Fallon can't let go unanswered or without retribution.

 

"I fucked Teia." The only secret Fallon has ever truly kept from Viago flies from her mouth with cool, calculated malice.

 

As her confession hits Viago, he lowers his dagger in utter shock. "What?"

 

"Ten years ago. It was just once— when you were still in denial that you were in love with her. She helped me prep for a seduction job. Taught me what to do. We decided it would be best if you never found out, but it was so long ago that surely you're not mad," Fallon says sarcastically as she bends down to pick up her dagger. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Fallon feels guilty for the grief this will cause Teia. Unfortunately, any loyalty and love Fallon holds for the Seventh Talon is currently overshadowed by her need to hurt Viago in the cruelest way possible. Based on the way Viago stares at Fallon, she succeeded.

 

Fallon wipes the Venatori's blood off her dagger on her pant leg and sheathes it once more. "I'll send a messenger when my team is ready to move on Zara, or if we stumble upon any more information about who helped the Antaam, and you can pass any messages you have for me through Chance. Or Lucanis. But you and me? We're done."

 

Without another word, Fallon turns on her heels and walks out. To Viago's credit, he doesn't throw his dagger at her back as she goes. If their roles were reversed, Fallon probably would have.

 

As if to taunt her and make her feel worse about involving Teia in all of this, Fallon runs into the Seventh Talon immediately upon arriving back at the Cantori Diamond to use the eluvian that will bring her back to the Lighthouse.

 

Before Teia can ask her about the results of the interrogation, Fallon hugs her tightly. "He knows, Teia. Viago knows. I told him," She murmurs into Teia's ear. The soft gasp from Teia as Fallon pulls out of the hug tells her that the other woman knows exactly what Fallon is talking about.

 

"What? Fallon, why—" Teia starts to ask as their embrace ends.

 

"I'm sorry, Teia. I really am," Fallon cuts her off, her throat closing up as she sees the bewildered, hurt look in Teia's eyes. "I have to go."

 

Fallon makes it through the eluvian and halfway down the path through the Crossroads back to the Lighthouse before the tears begin to fall in earnest as the regret and guilt of hurting Teia, of hurting Viago, finally consume her.

Notes:

me, last week: yeah idk how mad fallon would have to be to ever tell viago that she had sex with teia. it would probably never happen
me, last night: the fuck it won't.

if you want to read some teia/rook smut, here is a one shot of the evening in question that fallon is referring to.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 3 of The Misadventures of Fallon de Riva