Chapter Text
Amestris doesn’t have quirks, it has alchemy. It has science. Because it’s cool and logical. Quirks aren’t fucking logical. Ed doesn’t like them.
He first found out about them on his post-Promise Day travels to Xing and some other neighboring countries. It seemed that the further he got from his home country, the more and more quirks popped up. He also got a glimpse into Xing’s “hero system” and it seemed to be very reminiscent of the State Alchemist program; starting at 18, kids are allowed to enlist in the military and begin training to start patrols for their assigned stations. The main difference he saw was that “heroes” weren’t automatically assigned a higher rank, like state alchemists were.
All in all, not that weird, once he got past the inherent shock of someone having a quirk in general. Really, it started getting weird the further and further he got from Amestris’ borders. Quirks got more fantastical and strayed further and further from the laws of alchemy that he’s known all his life- and, AND! People started having more and more chimeric features!
For some, it wasn’t truly noticeable. Some peoples’ irises were just slightly off when you really looked; like, crosshair details that encompassed the whole of the eye, or pupils that were shaped like hearts. Not all that weird. But then, he’d see someone with goat hooves for hands or the tails and claws of a lizard, and his mind would flash back to other chimeras he’s known and then he’d be sick. Because, well… it meant Nina never had to die. If there were people in the world who had a fucking toaster for a HEAD, then yeah. Nina probably didn’t have to die. But there was nothing he could do about that.
All this to say, when his allotted break from the military was over, and Mustang asked him back to Amestris, he felt relatively content with his knowledge of the world outside Amestris and he could just live the rest of his days vicariously through Al, who had moved to Xing. Al told him that “No, brother, I’m not moving to Xing because I like Mei. I want to study Alkahestry! I’ve told you this!” But Ed thinks that his little brother is a dirty rotten liar. (Besides, as soon as he announced he was moving, everyone back home placed bets on when the wedding invites will arrive in the mail. And Ed really needs Al to come to his senses soon because he has a lot of money riding on 3 years, 10 months, and 13 days. He got mocked for his specificity, but the rest of the team, those assholes, all chose dates within plus or minus two weeks of his. Assholes.)
His new job title (because of course Mustang wasn’t content with letting him stay as a simple state alchemist/researcher) was Head of State Alchemy. He essentially oversaw the selection, research, and placement of all the new state alchemists, as well as handling any erroneous alchemy problems that popped up. He saw a lot less fighting than he did in his days as a regular state alchemist, but he still found ways to make his days fun.
Ed was now the equivalent to a Brigadier General. It was a major jump up in rank, courtesy of his contributions on the Promised Day incident, and he once again made history as the youngest to ever hold this specific rank, but what else is new? The Colonel Bastard was now General Bastard, and was practically the Fuhrer in everything but name only. Every time Ed dropped by his office with a report, Mustang would lament him with tales of how he was “only making his constant paperwork problem worse!”, and Ed would remind of how he literally organized a coup and overthrew the last regime to specifically get this job. Then Mustang would bitch and moan some more, Hawkeye would say nothing but have a very specific look on her face like she regretted every decision she’s ever made that brought her here, and Ed would drag his feet around and sigh while waiting to be dismissed.
It was a very well-practiced song and dance.
So, imagine his surprise when he pops in one day and not only does Mustang not regale him with the various errors of his ways, but he also has a report in his left hand ready to be exchanged for Ed’s own.
“What’s all this about?” Ed asked as he grabbed the manila folder. The papers inside didn’t make the folder itself too thick, but the contents of said papers did make his eyebrows rise. “You’re actually giving me a mission?”
“We’ve received a request from the country of Japan. A hero was recently attacked by what they’re calling a ‘Nomu’.” Roy replied, pointing to corresponding notes in the open folder held in Ed’s hands. “This Nomu apparently showcased multiple quirks, which is said to be impossible, even for a country filled with the seemingly impossible.”
“Ok, what does this have to do with me, then?” As Ed began to leaf through the papers, skimming the notes and summaries of the report, he was getting an idea of where this was beginning to go and he didn’t like it.
“Since Amestris has opened its borders, more of the world has become aware of our alchemical power. In their letters to us,” Roy flipped to the last few pages, these ones type-written on thicker paper with a blocky-styled ‘UA’ logo on the top, “they’ve asked if it would be possible to use alchemy to combine multiple bodies and souls, and if so, if we might have… misplaced any alchemists who are knowledgeable in this area.”
Oh man, Ed really didn’t like where this was going, because- “As the Head of State Alchemy,” fuuuuuuuck, there it is. “The Fuhrer has assigned you this mission. Go out to Japan, determine if there are any missing alchemists- state or otherwise -and return them to Amestris to be tried in court.” He’s never hated this god damn General Bastard more in his life. “This is, of course, also a diplomatic mission, so you’ll need to be on your best behaviour.” Apparently Ed could hate the Bastard more because he followed that god awful statement with a shit-eating grin and- “You’ll also, of course, need to be in uniform for any official meetings and diplomatic events.”
Ed wanted to disconnect his metal arm and beat Mustang over the head with it. “Is it too late to be dishonourably discharged?” He hung his head in his hands as he sunk into the seat positioned in front of Mustang’s desk.
He slowly started flipping the pages back and forth again, taking in more details as hit fate sunk in: a possible rogue alchemist skirting the lines of the taboo, a deadly chimera-adjacent creature, and to top it all off, he has to hang out at a high school. He never even went to regular school.
Man, this was gonna fucking suck.
~
Nedzu was having a great time. His letters did indeed get through to Amestris, evidenced by the responses he received, and he was informed that they were sending the Head of State Alchemy- oooh, how fancy -equivalent to the rank of Brigadier General.
Nedzu wasn’t intimidated by the idea of a military presence, it wouldn’t be the first time UA had hosted a diplomat; if anything, the principal was looking forward to the argument that this would cause between himself and the Commission. He loved arguing with them especially; watching the complicated range of emotions flit across their face as they realized that they were never going to win the verbal battle. It was always a treat.
Their new ward would be here in a short two weeks! There was much planning to do, like who to send to collect the diplomat and where to keep him.