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The kid was cute - round cheeks, big sparkling eyes, soft looking lips - and looked like a kicked puppy on the verge of tears. He apologized about 1000 times and looked so embarrassed Karn forgot to be angry. Now the senior was mostly confused.
Once Thap and the guy who came with the cute junior have left, they are left alone, sitting across from each other in the now, mostly empty cafe.
Karn smirks. “So, want to explain to me what happened, teerak?”
***🩺🐱***
1 hour ago.
“I can’t believe P’Ton did that to you! Again!” Pang shouts, pacing on the sidewalk, like an angry chipmunk about to go attack someone.
Na, with his arm still around Chonlatee’s shoulders, sighs. “I told you two this will happen the last time Chon gave him a second chance. Once a cheater always a cheater.”
Chon sniffs, no longer any tears left to cry.
Last weekend he went back home to visit his mother for a few days, without Tonhon as the man claimed that he has an important group project to finish and so he will be with his study group in the library till Tuesday. Chonlatee, wanting to trust his boyfriend completely, didn't even question it, simply kissed him goodbye and left. He didn’t even question it when P’Ton wouldn’t answer his calls or would text him too late with apologies.
He had Pang and Na with him to enjoy his trip, and Miriam, Nai and Ai were keeping him updated on how everything is. Everything was fine and honestly he was the happiest he has been.
When he came back on Monday morning, Thonhon wasn’t home and his roommates wouldn’t meet his eyes, but Chon was running late for class, so he just changed and rushed out. Again, not suspecting anything at all.
By lunchtime, there was no news from his boyfriend and the group chat was too quiet as opposed to the craziness that was happening usually. That’s when he started to worry and skipped his last class to go home early.
Ai, Nai and Miriam were all home, sitting across the couch from shameful looking Thon.
“Either you tell him yourself or I will do it!” Miriam scolds, eyes narrowed.
“Can’t we just skip it? He doesn’t have to know. I won’t do it again, I promise.” Thornton pleads. Chonlatee freezes by the terrace door, heart trembling in fear.
“Thon you can’t hide it. It’s better if he hears it from you.” Ai reasons, voice softer than Miriam’s yet disappointed.
“He will be so hurt.” Chon’s boyfriend sighs.
“Yeah, no shit. You should have thought about it before you freaking cheated on him!” Nai exclaims loudly, throwing his arms up in exasperation.
Chonlatee must have made a sound, because four pairs of eyes turned to look at him, in various degrees of regret, guilt and apology. He didn’t see anything else, but Thon, now standing up, slowly stepping towards him, with empty words, apologies and promises.
The shorter man recoils as if burned, stepping away, with a head shake. Did P’Thon cheat on him? Again? No, no, it can’t be. He promised. He said.
“Chon. Chon, please listen to me, it’s not what you think.” The man reaches to hold his hand. They are in the yard now, with their friends standing by the door, watching them.
He wants to cry. He wants to cry and scream and run and never see anyone again. Why? Why?
“It’s not?” He demands through tears flowing down his red cheeks, his nose is congested now as he wipes at his face, trying to look fierce, even as he realizes how pathetic he must look right now. “Then tell me I misunderstood. Tell me you didn’t cheat on me, P’Thon. Tell me you didn’t break your promise.” His voice is weak now, no power left to shout.
It hurts. It feels like his heart broke into tiny pieces like a porcelain vase fallen from careless hands. He can’t breathe, can’t think.
Chon really trusted Thonhon not to hurt him again. He believed him when he came to apologize and win him back. They were happy for the last few months, weren’t they? Was he not enough? Is that why he cheated? Is Chonlatee not experienced enough, not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough?
Am I not enough for him? Why did he have to cheat? Is it me? I thought he loved me.
Thon shakes his head, taking the shorter man’s into his. “No, Chon. It’s not like that. We went to celebrate after the study group and I got drunk. It was a mistake, Chon, I swear. Just a one time thing, I meant nothing.”
“Two times.” Miriam added helpfully, which earned her a glare from the older man.
“Plus a kiss. If you count this morning, when she left.” Nai nods, adding fuel to the fire.
Chonlatee refuses to hear anything more, as he slaps his, now ex, boyfriend’s hands and runs away, before anyone can stop him. Distantly he hears Thonhon trying to follow him, but the guys must have stopped
Since that day, he has been hiding from Thonhon for two weeks now - first at Pang’s room, but when his ex found him there, Na adopted him, agreeing to keep Thon away at any cost. Nai and Ai, the good friends that they are, actually brought him his clothes and stuff, once again telling him how sorry they were that this happened.
The only time Chon met Thon, after that morning, was outside of faculty, when he told him he doesn’t want to see him anymore and officially broke it off - blocking his number, social media and everything. After that he kept hiding and Thonhon kept trying to reach him, again apologizing, giving empty promises and swearing he won’t do it again.
The shorter boy no longer believed him though. He already gave the man a chance and got hurt again. He doesn’t trust Thon's feelings anymore to even try to think about it. They are over.
Thonhon dating Amp before and then kissing her even after they got together, hurt Chonlatee a lot. It damaged his self-esteem and made him question his own worth. This time, it happened with a different girl, but the same excuse of being drunk and the cracks from the first time grew wider until his heart completely broke, with no way to mend it.
He has always been self-conscious. Despite Pang, Na and the others constantly claiming Chon to be adorable and beautiful and smart, he never viewed himself like that at all. Chonlatee always saw himself as awkward, shy, reserved, too quiet, too nervous, too clumsy, too weird - what with being a fanboy over fictional characters - too much of everything. He always thought his cringy behavior was the reason why P’Thon never saw him as anything, but a little brother he needed to take care of.
Thonhon was never interested in him as a sexual partner, no one was, then when they got together he got cheated on and his first love broke his heart and to the shorter man it felt like the end of the world.
But everyone makes mistakes and he forgives the older man. Now, he doesn’t want to. He isn’t sure he can recover from this. He isn’t sure he can forgive him. And if Chon forgives Thon again, he isn’t sure he can respect himself.
Na turns him around, eyes fierce behind his glasses, both hands now on his shoulders. “Stay strong, Chon! Don’t give in to him anymore.”
“Na is right. He can’t be forgiven. You deserve better than this.” Pang nods, also patting him on the shoulder.
Chon is so glad to have both of them in his life.
He wipes at his eyes, no doubt all red and puffy after days of crying and nods, forcing a smile. “Thanks guys.”
“Chon.” P’Thon’s voice rang from behind them, making all three friends turn to see a cautious older man approaching. “Please, let’s talk.”
Pang is the first to huff in frustration, placing herself in between them, hands on her hips. “Leave him alone, P’Thon. He doesn’t want anything to do with you!”
Thonhon looks down at her and with a gentle hold on her head, moves her away like he weighs nothing. Na is harder to move as he shifts so that Chon is mostly hidden behind him, glaring cross armed at the other man.
“Move.” The taller man demands, angry, fists clenched.
“We no longer want to hear your lame excuses. Better leave before this gets ugly.” The man claims and Pang comes to stand beside him, nodding.
Not willing to cause a scene or put his friends in an awkward position, Chonlatee sighs and moves to the front, smiling at Na and Pang when they try to protest.
There is no humor in his expression and no care left in his eyes as he looks at the man who hurt him multiple times. “P'Thon, please leave. I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Chon, don’t do this. Let me explain. We can fix this.” The man pleads, tone soft, seeking sympathy.
The shorter man shakes his head. “There is nothing to talk about anymore. We broke up and this time it’s final.”
“No! I won’t break up with you. I won’t let it happen.”
“P’Thon.”
“I don’t accept it. You can’t break up with me if I don’t break up with you. I’m not letting you go.” He was almost shouting now, pulling unwanted attention from the people walking around and those sitting at the coffee shop they were standing across from.
Call it desperation. Call it stupidity. But all Chonlatee could think about, as he uttered the next sentence, was that he hates all the attention and he wants this to be over. Can’t Thonhon just leave him be!
I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!
“We are not getting back because I’m already dating someone!” Chonlatee shouts, chin raised and eyes showing conviction he doesn’t feel. He tries to seem cool even as he is panicking inside, heart beating fast and begging for Pang and Na to play along.
Thon snorts. “Yeah, right.”
“It’s true.” He crosses his arms, grateful that his friends are not interfering yet. Chon is not the best liar, but he just hopes he sounds believable enough and Thonhon is gullible once again. “He has been pursuing me for a while now, but since I was with you, I rejected him.” He let that part sink in, eyes hard, glad that it made the other man shift uncomfortably. “He knows we broke up, so he asked me again and I agreed. We’re dating now.”
“Come on, Chonlatee. Don’t do this, you’re not that kind of a person. You couldn’t have moved on so fast.” Now he sounds like he is pitying him and it pisses the younger boy off even more.
“Well, I am. In fact I’m here to meet him.” What the fuck did I just say?
Pang chooses that moment to butt in. “And his new boyfriend is way better and way hotter than you.”
“Plus, he is loyal! He waited for Chon and he didn't even look at other people.” Na’s words landed like a slap.
“I don’t believe you. You’re just trying to hurt me.”
“You’re free to believe whatever you want, P’Thon.” Pang says mockingly. “But Chon’s new boyfriend is waiting for him in the cafe right now. Over there.” She points in the direction of a window seat, right at the corner. They all follow her finger only to freeze at the person who is sitting there right now, eyes widening. Pang, noticing their reaction, also turns to the corner seat and bites her lips.
There can’t even be a mistake at who she is pointing at. Because on the other side of the coffee shop window, at the corner seat there is only one person sitting, across from his friends, looking fierce and cold.
Thohon laughs aloud, looking between the man sitting inside and the three friends, exchanging uneasy looks. “Karn? You want me to believe you’re dating Karn?”
Fuck! Out of all the people in this place, why the hell did it have to be the Ice Prince? Why him!
Of course he knows P’Karn. There is no one at their University who doesn’t know the two princes of Med Faculty, Karn and Thapfah. While P’Thap is warm like sunshine, always helpful and smiling and kind to everyone. P’Karn is as cold as winter. Perfect both academically and athletically, yet silent and distant, not allowing anyone close.
After Chonlatee started University, along with rumors about P’Ton, he also has been hearing people whisper and talk about Karn from the Faculty of Medicine. Girls always gush about how hot he is, how smart, excellent in everything he does and a prodigy in medicine. Karn comes from a rich family, his uncle owning a big hospital in the city and that along with everything else, makes him a dream guy for every girl out there. Also every man.
Guys either want to be like him or be liked by him and if Chon wasn’t in love with P’Ton back then, he would also be crushing after the most handsome man he has ever seen.
But Karn is, for the lack of better term, unreachable. He is cold towards everyone, distant and he never allows anyone to get close to him. The man rejects every love confession, every gift, every flower given to him, always upfront and harsh in his words, practically destroying anyone who dares to be brave and invade his space. Karn, as the rumor goes, prefers to be by himself in the library or the benches behind the faculty, studying and resting, away from prying eyes.
People fear him and avoid him at any cost - except for Thap and Pong, his two best friends.
And this person, who is known for his brutal honesty and unwavering coldness is the one Pang is pointing out to be his boyfriend.
Chonlatee wants to disappear.
“Yes. I’m dating P’Karn.” Fuck, his voice sounds so weak. Both Na and Pang look at him in sympathy.
Tonhon huffs, crossing his arms. “Okay then, prove it.”
“What?” The shorter man asks, even as Pang says. “He doesn’t have to prove anything to you.”
“If you want me to give up and believe that you’re dating Karn now, then prove it. Let’s go in and greet him together.”
“I…” Chon stammers. “I don’t have to do anything. If you don’t believe me, then it’s fine.” There, he sounds convincing right?
“See, I knew you were lying Chon. You still love me, so come on, stop being difficult and let’s talk like adults.”
Difficult? Difficult? I’m being difficult?
It pissed Chon so much. How dare Ton blame him?! How dare he act like it’s Chonlatee acting out and not see that this is all his fault! How can he pretend like Chon is just being unreasonable and not even acknowledge that he is the reason they broke up! How can he claim he loves him, when he isn’t even trying to change.
Difficult?! I’ll show you ‘difficult’.
Before Chonlatee can reason, he is already moving towards where P’Karn and his friends are sitting, Pang, Na and Ton right behind him.
P’Thap and P’Pong look up at the four of them shocked when they all pile beside their table, eyes questioning.
Karn doesn't even look up at first, simply sipping his coffee, before raising his eyes and locking them with Chon’s gaze. Time freezes as their eyes lock, everything around them disappearing for a second as Chonlatee gets lost in that deep brown gaze, completely mesmerized by those big, enchanting doe eyes.
P’Karn is truly gorgeous, he thinks, noticing the man’s puffy pink lips, straight nose and adonis-like features, those messy long brown locks calling to have fingers brush through them, soft cheeks caressed and kissed. In all those times hearing the rumors and gossip about how hot the senior med student is, Chon can’t believe he has never met the guy before.
As Karn opens his mouth, to no doubt ask, ‘who the hell they are’, Chonlatee panics.
In a quick move, surprising even for himself, he leans forward, grabbing the nape of the man’s neck with a cheerful greeting. “Sorry I’m late, teerak.” And kisses Karn on the lips, right there in the middle of the coffee shop, in front of his ex, his and the future-doctor’s friends and other students around.
He is so embarrassed he might die.
At least the kiss is sweet - tasting of coffee and lemon cake.
***🩺🐱***
“I’m so sorry, Phi!” Chonlatee apologizes for the umpteenth time, hands together in a prayer as he bows. He hasn’t been able to look at the man ever since kissing him earlier, as he told him what happened, cheeks red and voice small.
After he not so subtly shouted and kissed the doctor, Tonhon huffed in furry and left, throwing glares at everyone, Pang and Na stood frozen next to him, looking at the shorter boy worried, confused and yet strangely proud, not sure if they should pull him away or leave him be. P’Thap and P’Pong, to their credit, looked amused, eyes sparkling with mirth as they looked at between their friend and the junior.
Once Ton left, Chon stood up straight, quickly apologizing and turning to run away like a scared little cat, but a strong hand grabbed him, holding him where he was. As the shorter boy turned around, he was met with Karn’s fierce gaze and gulped in fear.
“Leave us.” The senior ordered in a harsh voice and within a few moments, his friends stood up, gathered their stuff and led Chon’s friends out of the cafe.
Right now they were sitting on the other side of the window, right outside the coffee shop, visible to Karn and Chonlatee, but too far to be heard. He can see the four of them talking animatedly, Pang gesturing with her hands and periodically each of them turning to look at the two of them still inside.
Senior leans back, arms crossed. He listened to the entire story, starting from when Chon moved to the city for freshman year till that kiss, sipping his coffee and not interrupting him, except to ask some questions for clarification. “So you told your ex-boyfriend that we’re dating and kissed me out of nowhere to get him to leave you alone, because he is an asshole and won’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Did I understand everything?”
Chonlatee has his head down, hair falling over his face, covering his flaming cheeks, hands clasped over his lap. He feels so stupid and ashamed. Why the hell did he have to lie? Why did he have to kiss a stranger? He should learn to deal with his own problems without getting other people involved.
“I really am sorry, Phi’Karn. I’ve never done something like this before. But P’Ton won’t leave me alone and I felt so…”
“You know my name, but I don’t even know who you are, nong.”
“Chonlatee. But my friends call me Chon.” He dares to look up, but seeing Karn’s stern face, he turns his gaze back to his lap. The shorter boy wishes the ground will open up and swallow him whole.
“You really shouldn’t go around kissing strangers, Chonlatee.”
His name sounds so nice coming out of those lips, his smooth, honeyed voice making every syllable sound almost ethereal.
Shut up! Snap out of it! I just embarrassed myself in front of the hottest senior out there and now am shamelessly fantasising about him. Shameless! Truly shameless!
“I swear, I don’t do this, P’Karn. This is so not like me. I was hurt and angry. I just wanted to get even with P’Ton.”
“He cheated on you and hurt you. It’s ok to break it off and want to distance yourself, but my advice Chonlatee, don’t get other people involved in your personal life.” There it is again. The way he says the shorter boy’s name is so nice, soothing even, despite the scolding tone. “Be clear and forward with him. Stand your ground.”
“Yes, Phi.” He mumbles, ashamed.
When Karn stands up and leaves, Chon feels something inside of him tremble and break. He is so stupid. He embarrassed himself. He caused such a ruckus. He made a mess. He even got totally innocent strangers involved. It’s mortifying. P’Karn probably hates him now or worse thinks he is just a pitiful little kid who needs others to solve his problems for him.
“I’m such an idiot. Idiot!” Chonlatee keeps mumbling under his breath, feeling tears coming, vision getting watery.
He wipes his eyes, refusing to be even more pathetic in front of the full cafe of people.
Of course Karn left. Who would want to be seen with such a pathetic excuse of a person? Despite his age he is still a child.
A tray, with a wrapped sandwich and what smells like sweet tea, being placed in front of him, snaps the boy from his spiralling thoughts.
Chonlatee raises his head, eyes wide and watery, just to see Karn sitting back down, with a new big cup of coffee, a cookie and the same cold look, across from him. “Here. Eat this. You look like you haven’t been taking care of yourself lately.”
“Thanks, Phi.” The boy says half-dazed. He takes the sandwich, unwrapping it slowly, daring to look up once more. He feels his heart beat increase as their gazes meet again. “I promise I'll leave as soon as I'm done.”
“It’s fine. I have nowhere to be right now. Take your time.” Comes a simple reply.
Chon is not sure how to react to that, so instead he nods and dives into his sandwich - letting the delicious mix of sauce, spices and fresh chicken fill his senses. He hasn’t eaten since last night, still anxious over running into P’Ton in university and the older guy still trying to pursue him.
Being here, for once anxiety free, calm and unrushed, sitting beside Karn, who looks like he just came out of one of Chonlatee’s favorite BL series - cool and collected - makes the shorter boy relax.
For the rest of the world P’Karn might be scary, but for Chon right now, he feels like the only safe harbor to dock his ship.
***🩺🐱***
The news about Chonlatee and Karn travel like wildfire. By the time evening rolls around, the whole University was buzzing with news about a shy junior from the Engineering Faculty finally conquering the heart of a cold, ice prince of the Medical Faculty.
The shorter boy isn’t sure where did the people get his picture, but after lunch he started noticing people pointing at him and whispering something to each other - some looking malicious, while others looked amused, even giddy. Before Chon could wonder about it for long though, Pang found him before his last class, excited and happy, eyes shining like a cat that just got a canary, and dragged him away.
His best friend showed him couple of IG and Twitter posts - both him (how did they find his social media so fast) and Karn tagged under every one of them - showing him and Karn eating at the cafe, P’Karn bringing him food, them going out together and worst of all his biggest embarrassment. The kiss. Multiple accounts, countless posts, comments and tags and reposts - all of them showing the kiss - from every angle. Over and over again.
Chonlatee felt mortified. He wanted to disappear and never show his face again.
As if that’s not enough, Pang also showed him one of the tags - trending within just few hours - #KarnChonlantee.
“Gotta love the modern world. You’re the new trending couple, Chon. Everyone is shipping you! Everyone!” She sounded so giddy, living like and commenting on every post she finds. “And I’m the Captain of this Ship!”
Chon groans aloud, hiding his face in his palms. He feels like his face is on fire. “I want to die. This is so embarassing.”
“This is perfect! You two are adorable!” Pang announces, turning her phone to show a fan-made video on Tiktok, with both Chonlatee and P’Karn. It was a compilation of short snapshots, both from this morning and from different times, separate times, edited and placed together to make it look like they have always been looking at each other. Fans are scary. And talented. They also work fast. God!
“We’re not even celebrities! Why are they doing this?”
“P’Karn is close to a university celebrity and you…” She smirks, pinching his cheeks. “Everyone loves a cool, cold hero falling for a sweet and shy lead, going soft only for his lover. It’s cliche. Everyone loves it.”
“P’Karn hates it! I’m so dead.” He groans again, flopping down onto the bench behind him.
“Come on, Chon. If this was a series, you would be shipping the two of you too.”
He glares at his best friend as she comes to sit beside him. “This is not fiction, Pang, this is a disaster.”
***🩺🐱***
Chonlatee had his head down, eyes stuck to his phone as he scrolled through TikTok, Twitter and Instagram, overwhelmed by the friend requests and links to posts he was getting, as he made his way to Na’s house. He was currently looking for a way to either get a dorm room - which was hard, since all of them were already assigned - or at least get a flat with a roommate, so he could stop bothering his friends - since he can no longer live in Tonhon’s house, neither did he want to. Pang and Na told him it’s fine, but he felt uncomfortable.
He was crossing the semi-lit parking lot, when someone grabbed his shoulder and turned him around.
His surprise quickly turned into annoyance as he shrugged P’Ton’s hand away and took a few steps back. There was no one around right now and somehow that both terrified him and made him more determined to rely on himself.
“What do you want, P’Ton?” He demands, frowning.
The older man stepped forward, reaching to grab the other’s hand, but Chon pulled away, taking another step back. There was nothing but parked cars behind him, so he wasn’t sure how far he could run. “Chin, please, let’s talk, na? Let me explain.”
“There is nothing to explain, P’Ton. I told you we’re done. I can’t… I don’t trust you anymore.”
With a sudden move, Tonhon grabs the shorter boy by the arms, pulling him close. “Don’t be like that, Chon. We can’t end like this. I won’t allow it.”
“P’Ton. Let me go. P’Ton.” Chonlantee struggled against the strong hold, unable to break free.
“No! Not until we talk properly.” Ton pulled him close, squeezing his shoulders in a tight grip.
The boy flinches as he feels sharp nails bite into his skin through the thin fabric. “P’Ton, you’re hurting me. Let go. Please.” The tighter his ex held him, the more he struggled, not for the first time feeling weak and powerless against someone much bigger and stronger than him.
“Let’s go home. We can talk there. I’m sure when I explain everything you will…” Tonhon kept pulling him towards his car, talking over the other’s cries to be let free.
That’s exactly when dread filled Chon to the brim, his mind rising with cruel scenarios or being dragged to Tonhon’s car and then his room. Flashes of being locked up and being forced to listen and stay with the taller man, even though all he wanted to do was escape and be free.
Chon has never been afraid of the older man before, never thought that he could hurt him. But this Tonhon wasn’t acting like the older brother from his childhood memories or even as his boyfriend of a few months, no. This man had manic eyes, determined to force him to bend to his will, convince him of staying with him, of being with him, not wanting to accept that Chonlatee broke up with him.
It was scary. He felt so weak just then.
Going anywhere with Tonhon was the last thing he wanted. He doesn’t trust him to be alone with him and he really doesn’t want to listen to any more pointless excuses. They won’t be able to work.
Last time he forgave the man, his friends were against it. They told him that he might hurt him again, might betray him again, but he didn’t believe them. Chon truly thought Ton was sorry and had changed, that he would never hurt him like that again - back then it was simply a kiss, this time though.
Now Chonlatee knows that no matter what, Tonhon will never change. That no matter how many chances he is given, the result will be the same. Chon doesn’t want to be heartbroken again. He doesn’t want to get hurt.
In a bout of strength he didn’t know he possessed, the younger man pulled close instead of away and kicked Tonhon right in the balls.
The sudden painful attack made the man let him go, doubling over in pain.
Using the momentum, Chonlatee turned and ran, ignoring the calls coming from behind him. The boy only managed to only put a little between himself and the elder, when he bumped against the strong chest, almost toppling backwards, but held upright with an arm around his waist.
Chon froze, an apology already coming, when he looked up and lost his breath. “First, you interrupted my lunch. Now you’re trying to run me over. I’m starting to think you have something against me, nong.”
“P’Karn.” Came out in a high-pitch voice. “I’m so sorry, Phi.”
A perfect eyebrow raised. “You said that a lot today as well.”
It’s then that he notices that he is still standing chest-to-chest to the taller man, his arm still tight around the boy’s waist. Chon jumps away, squeezing the strap of his bag, cheeks flaming red. “I…”
A hand reached from the back and grabbed at his wrist, turning the buy around to face the red faced Ton - the man was still hunched over, eyes teary from the pain. “You’re not getting away before we talk.”
Chonlatee tries to move again, pulling his hand free, but the hold only tightens, keeping him hostage. “P’Ton, please. I don’t want to talk. It’s over, just accept it.”
“Come on, let’s talk somewhere first.” The older man says, pulling him to follow.
The shorter boy is about to demand once more to be let free, when another hand grabs at Tonhon’s arm, nails biting into the exposed skin painfully. “Let him go, Tonhon. He already said no.”
Whatever Ton was about to say died painfully on his tongue as he groaned in pain, releasing Chon and snatching his arm out of the doctor’s death grip. Indeed, there were crescent shaped red marks left behind, before the man covered them, eyes blazing.
“Stay out of this, Karn. This is between me and Chon.”
As if to disprove his statement, Chonlatee moves to stand behind the taller med student, only slightly peeking at his ex over Karn’s bicep.
The doctor looked over his shoulder at the hiding boy, before turning back to the other man, arms crossed and expression dangerous. Maybe Chonlatee should have found it scary, but instead all he could feel is a tingling inside and his heart beat increasing. P’Karn is so hot when angry.
For a second he wondered why others find the man so scary, when to Chon he wasn’t scary at all. Just… protective maybe? Rightful? He wasn't sure, but when he looked at the doctor, fear was the last thing in his mind. Especially, since right now he felt safe.
“I don’t think I will. He doesn’t want to go anywhere with you, so I suggest you leave.” Karn’s voice came strong and cutting.
“He’s my boyfriend, I can…” Tonhon begins, but Chon cuts him off, voice loud, unexpected to even himself.
“Ex boyfriend.”
The tall doctor smirks. “See, you’re his ex. So get lost”
“I never agreed to that.”
“I don’t care what you agreed to or didn’t.” Karn leaned closer to Ton, eyes lacking any warmth it held while talking to Chon earlier. The man looked dangerous, like a predator. “Leave my boyfriend alone, Tonhon. Or next time I won’t be so nice.” Karn commanded, taking Chon’s hand and leading him to his car. The boy follows quietly, mesmerized by the beauty of this senior he just met, uncaring of the rest.
Med students open the passenger door for the younger man, waiting for him to get in, before rounding to the driver’s side. Tonhon is still standing not too far away, in the middle of the road watching them.
Karn narrows his eyes, watching the other man carefully. “Do you want to talk to him?” His voice is soft, lacking any sort of demand or harshness from earlier. It feels almost sweet, kind.
“Huh?” The shorter boy stupidly asks, turning to stare at the guy’s profile. He is gorgeous from every angle. It’s almost unfair.
I wonder what those lips taste like? I didn’t get to taste them properly this morning.
He thinks and then blushes, turning away, head down to his lap. What the hell is he even thinking? P’Karn is nice and helped him - twice now. He shouldn’t be thinking such thoughts about his savior.
“I noticed how scared you were, so I dragged you away, but… I’m not someone to get in-between a couple. If you want to go, then go. Just be careful.”
P’Karn is nothing like the rumors say. He is so nice. So kind.
Chonlatee shakes his head, not daring to turn to look at him yet. “No, P’Karn. We broke up. P’Ton just doesn’t want to accept it.”
The med student sighs. When the shorter boy finally turns to him, the man is leaning close until he is arched over the boy, their faces inches apart.
Chon’s eyes widen, face flaming as he tries to lean back further into the seat. “P’... P’Karn?”
“Shh…” The taller man whispers, eyes round and big. Chonlatee isn’t sure if he wants to look into his eyes or at his puffy lips, his gaze running all over the place, trying to catch every glimpse he can. “He is watching us. We’re supposed to be boyfriends, remember? Let’s act like it.” His breath ghosts over the shorter boy’s lips, making him shudder.
It probably looks like we’re kissing from outside. Tonhon must be so furious right now.
After another second Karn leans back, dragging the seat belt along with him and fastening it up, before doing the same for his own. Chon feels his heart beat out of his chest, so loud that he wonders if the doctor can hear it too.
Through the windshield, he can see P’Ton glaring at them, eyes murderous, only slight moisture at the edges revealing his true hurt.
The med student smirks, starting the engine and driving off, without another thought given to the man left standing alone in the dark parking lot.
The boy thought his crush on Tonhon was bad, but he is sure he won’t survive this growing infatuation with the handsome, hot and cool doctor. I’m so doomed.
The two of them didn’t talk until P’Karn turned into the main road. By then Chon managed to bring his heart rate down to a more functioning level, but his mind was still spinning. The car was filled with the smell of cinnamon and lavender, which only added to his growing fantasies.
“Where do you live? Should I take you to the dorms?” The med student wonders aloud.
“Oh, no, I’m staying with my friend right now.” Chon answers, squeezing his bag in his lap.
P’Karn nods, pressing some buttons on the touch screen, before nodding. “Write down the address.”
“You don’t have to take me, Phi. P’Ton won’t follow me right now. Just drop me off at the bus stop and I can…” The shorter man was quick to deny.
“It wasn’t a suggestion.” The final reply cut him off. It wasn’t cruel, yet it left no room for arguments.
Chonlatee shifts a little, feeling giddy as he types the address and sits back. “Thank you, P’Karn.”
“Why are you staying with your friends? Did the dorms reject your application?”
“No, um… I used to live with P’Ton and my two other friends in this big house.” When Karn looked at him sideways in question, he blushed continuing. “P’Ton is actually my childhood friend. Our houses were next to each other and my mom trusted him with me when I came to the city for my degree. She thought it would be safe to live with him, thinking P’Ton could take care of me.”
“Instead he started to date you and then broke your heart. That’s an asshole move.” It wasn’t said cruelly. Neither was it said to hurt him, despite how it sounded. Karn simply stated the truth and Chonlatee, now without pink glasses, understood how it looked.
Thinking back, P’Ton wasn’t really the nicest person. He had a temper. He was a playboy. Selfish. Cruel. He also had a hard time controlling his anger. Sure, he never hurt Chon physically, but seeing him date all those girls and cheat on him two times, wasn’t the nicest feeling in the world.
The younger man played with the strap of his bag, eyes glued to his lap again. “He was my first love, you know? I liked him since we were kids and I chased after him even though I knew he was into girls. Then he made me believe we had a chance and…” By the time they reached Na’s apartment building, Chon retold the entire story and now was sobbing, like a little kid, snot and tears mixing together over his chin. “Sorry, P. I didn’t mean to unload all of that on you.” He said through hiccups.
Karn stays silent as he parks in the empty spot reserved for the residents beside the building, turning off the engine. “Never apologize for having feelings, Chonlatee.” The man says softly, handing him a tissue box, eyes turned towards the windshield to give the boy a slight sense of privacy. “Bottling up your feelings is not healthy and it can cause lasting damage to your physical and mental well-being. You’re human, you should cry. It’s a physiological stress-relief mechanism. Crying gets rid of built-up stress hormones like cortisol and allows the system to fill with feel-good chemicals such as oxytocin and endorphins. It also calms you down.”
Chonlatee blinks at the mechanic tone of voice from the man, like he was some type of a robot reading an article in a medical journal.
“What?” The med student turns to him with a tilted head, like a confused puppy. “Was my terminology too complicated?”
The kind of innocent voice Karn uses to ask him makes the shorter boy start laughing uncontrollably. His manic cackle filling the car as he doubles over, tears long forgotten. When he looks up, Karn is sitting with his back against the window, watching him amused.
“You look much cuter when you smile, Chon.” He says softly.
Chonlatee's brain stops functioning, eyes wide and mouth agape as he looks at the man across from him. Chonlatee.exe stopped working.
It’s unfair how hot this man looks when he smiles. Lips stretched wide until his eyes disappeared behind his puffy cheeks, dimples peeking through - he has dimples, how can he have dimples and be considered evil - messy hair falling over his forehead, covering his gorgeous doe eyes.
How can any sane person look at Karn and see anything but perfection. Adonis sent down from heavens to torture Chonlatee’s poor heart with his charming smile, dimples and eyes. God those eyes. He is pretty sure, men like Karn are the reason people bow to deities and beg for an ounce of love from them. This guy can’t be cold, cruel or evil.
He is, however, probably the Devil - embodying all of Chon’s darkest desires.
He is so lost in the light of that smile, that he doesn’t even notice, when Karn leans in and taking the tissues from the box starts whipping the boy’s cheeks and nose. The look in his eyes can’t be described as anything, but endeared. Chon doesn’t know what to do with it.
“Does Tonhon know where this place is?” The med student asks, leaning back again, disposing the tissues into the small bin hanging by the door.
It takes a hot minute for the younger boy to gather his thoughts and answer. Shaking his head. “Yeah, but he won’t come here. Na is pretty good and keeps him away. Last time he had security throw him out.”
“Good.” He nods in affirmation. Taking out the key and getting out of the car, moving to the back to gather his books and bag from there. Chon stares after him for a second too long, before also exiting quickly. “I’ll pick you up in the morning.”
“What? No, P’Karn. I…” He tries to refuse, but the senior already locked the doors and headed towards the front door. It’s obvious Karn will do what he wants and how he wants it, but instead of finding it intimidating, Chonlatee is amused. He knows if he says he is uncomfortable and tells him a hard ‘No’ the man will back away and won’t push. Don’t ask him how, he just knows. The shorter man, however, doesn’t really want to refuse him. His heart hasn’t been this active for a while now - filled with joy and excitement.
Chon rushes after him, catching up just as he greets the security guard and steps towards the elevators. “Where are you going?”
Karn looks over his shoulder, his glasses sliding down his nose, before he fixes them and steps into the elevator, keeping the doors open till Chon joins him. “Home. Which floor are you?”
The boy looks between the senior and the panel, before pressing for the seventh floor, the med student presses the 12th. Of course he lives on the top floor. “You also live here?”
Today has been so crazy and filled with surprises that Chon feels like he is in a fever dream. This is surreal. He feels like an idiot who is trying to solve a math problem, but the equation is rigged and most of the numbers are missing.
“It was my father’s before he married my mom and they moved. It has been empty for years. Since it's closer to university I chose to stay here.” He explained, voice strained a little.
Pang told him that P’Karn’s parents died in an accident when he was little and he was taken in by his uncle, who raised him like his own.
Chon shifts a little uncomfortable, not daring to look at the other man.
“Let’s date.” Karn suddenly announces.
“What?” The younger boy jumps shocked. “But… but… We just met and I…”
The med student turns to him amused, the side of his lip lifted up in a smirk. “I meant, let’s pretend to date. Until Tonhon leaves you alone. I know people like him. He won’t give up that easily. So we need to show him that we really are dating.”
Chon wasn’t sure if he is the luckiest man alive or if this is some form of a karma he gained through his past life.
***🩺🐱***
In the morning, just like he promised, P’Karn is waiting for him at the entrance, leaning leisurely against the car door - looking as cool as ever, playing on his phone.
When Chonlatee and Na come out the door, they both froze seeing the man.
“Well, he surely keeps his promises.” His friend sounded impressed, lowering his glasses to see better.
The shorter man blushes. “He’s just helping me out. There is nothing to it.”
“Or he is just using this whole ‘fake boyfriend’ scam to get close.” When Chon glares, Na shrugs. “I’m just saying. Anyways, see you at uni.” With that he leaves, making sure to wai to their senior, when Karn looks over at them.
“Ai’Na!” The boy shouts after him, before smiling awkwardly and steps towards P’Karn. “Morning, Phi.”
The med student nods, opening the passenger door for him. “Did you eat?”
“Oh, um. I wasn’t hungry.” He mumbles. The man hums, closing the door once the boy is in and moving to take the wheel.
In reality Chon barely slept last night. His mind circled around what happened with P’Tonhon and their agreement with P’Karn and the last few months. He stayed awake thinking over and over if he is doing the right thing, if he should give Ton a second chance, if he should listen. Maybe this will be the last time and his ex really did change.
Then, he will remember the pain he felt when he saw Tonhon kissing Amp in the video and hearing Nai and Ai try to convince him to tell Chon the truth about what he did. He would remember all those years of watching Ton dating girls and talking about girls and acting homophobic and cruel towards anyone who liked the same sex.
Slowly the memories of the older man bullying anyone who wasn’t into girls blended into times Ton would say something or hint at something that would make the shorter boy be scared and hide his true self, behind jokes and pretend. A mask. That day Tonhon made him go to the club and almost forced him to lose his virginity to a woman, settled like a heavy stone in his heart. He was so scared, ashamed and disgusted that night.
Chonlatee would replay over and over those remarks and the feelings it brought until all he could feel was nausea and tears building behind his eyes.
He promised himself to not cry over Tonhon anymore and he swore to never forgive him either.
By the time morning came, Chon started to question if he really loved Ton anymore or what he felt now was simply hurt and maybe even disgust. His stomach was in knots and so, even though Na’s housekeeper cooked them a delicious meal, Conlatee could only stomach some juice and with an excuse of being late, urged his friend to finish up and leave fast.
A bag from his favorite shop suddenly landing on his lap, breaks the boy from his thoughts, making him blink stupidly first at the bag and then over at the senior. “P’Karn, what?”
“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you shouldn’t skip it. You might get sick and faint from malnutrition. Thap asked your friend - the loud girl who is always next to you and she told him you like the sweet buns and tea from this shop. So eat up.”
Chon gently touched the paper bag. It was still warm, the bubble tea between them inside the cup holder still looked cool, moisture gathering around the plastic. He must have got it early in the morning, before coming to pick me up. “Thank you, P’Karn.” He smiles, feeling lighter than he felt the whole morning, something inside of him coming loose, sweetness taking hold, where just a few hours ago ice began to set.
The med student looks at him for what feels like forever, doe-eyes shiny and filled with something indescribable as he takes in the boy’s face and the dark gaze, his soft smile and how much younger and sweeter he looks when he is happy.
Clearing his throat, the doctor starts the engine. “It’s no problem. Get your seat belt. Or we’ll be late for class.”
“Sure.” Chon says way too excited, snapping his seatbelt on before diving into the bag for his bagel. He is still feeling a little under the weather, but P’Karn went out of his way to get him breakfast and he won’t let it go to waste.
***🩺🐱***
By the time Karn parks his car in the empty spot outside of the Engineering faculty, Chonlatee is feeling much happier and fuller, having finished both the bun and the tea.
By the time the boy gathers the trash and shoulders his bag, the med student is already out the door and opening the passenger one - doing his job as the perfect boyfriend like he has always meant to be Chon’s perfect faen.
“Do you have afternoon class?” Karn asks, once the boy is standing in front of him.
“No, P’Karn. I have two morning classes and then am free till 4. I usually go to the library and study till then.”
“Good. Meet me at the cafeteria for lunch. I’ll be there with Thap and Pong.”
Chon shook his head, smiling politely. “It’s ok, really. I usually have lunch with my friends and…”
“They can join too.” Comes the final statement, voice once again commanding, but not overbearing, giving the shorter boy a security in knowing that if he truly doesn’t want the man won’t press.
I wonder if it’s this straightforward behavior that makes people think he is scary. I just find him confident and cute. Shit! No! Not cute! Stop!
His senior reaches out his hand, palm up. “Give me your phone.”
“Hm?” Chonlatee hands him his cell a second before he realizes that he should actually ask for the reason first. “Um, P’Karn, why do you need it?”
“I’m your boyfriend, right?” Every time the word boyfriend leaves those lips, Chon’s heart skips a beat. “I should have your contact. Here I added myself on Line and Instagram.” The taller man hands him back his phone, with his Line message open and a new message, lighting his screen, from Karn’s number. “Text me once you’re done with class. As for studying, I also don’t have classes today, so we can go to the library together.”
“You really don’t have to go that far for me, Phi.” The boy voices honestly, sending a panda emoji back and pocketing his phone.
The future doctor tilts his head, his expression unchanging, yet eyes wrinkling at the corners, something like amusement sparkling in the depth of those brown eyes. “I’m not doing it because I have to. I’ll be studying in the library and you will be there too. No reason to occupy two tables when we can sit together and study with each other in silence. Others can use the empty chair.”
How very unromantic of him. Chonlatee thinks and chuckles, nodding. Not like he will ever refuse spending more time with the man who is quickly winning over his heart and mind.
“How very… mature of you, P.” He utters, amused.
Karn narrows his eyes, not threateningly, but more in curiosity. Before he could ask anything more, Chon turns and runs to where Pang and Na are waiting for him, both giddy and curious, his best friend practically jumping on him with questions about last night, this morning and the whole fake boyfriend thing.
Damn Na and his big mouth.
“Shh, you’re attacking attention. Pang.” Chon chides as she keeps pulling at his arm.
“You’re dating a hot doctor. My bestie is dating a hot, rich doctor. I wanna scream. The fandom will love this.” Pang keeps mumbling.
“What fandom? Pang stop.”
She stops only to pout at him. “Your fandom, silly. As a couple. People are already writing theories and debating ship names for you. There is even a talk about mascots among the KarnChonlantee fansclub.”
When Chonlatee just blinks, Na pats his shoulder. “Don’t ask questions, just accept it. She has been yapping about this for a whole 2 hours now.”
Pang’s smile slips from her lips as she looks over his shoulder, frowning and pulling Chon to stand a little behind her. Even Na seems kind of edgy.
When the shorter boy turns, he sees Tonhon making his way towards them, Nai and Ai behind him.
He sighs. “P’Ton doesn’t know when to give up.”
Instead of being exciting and maybe even flattering like it was before, right now it just feels exhausting and annoying. Chon is losing his patience.
“It’s fine. I won’t let him get close to you, Chon. Just watch me.” Na claims, puffing up his chest.
Before Ton and the others can get closer though, Karn steps right beside Cholatee and wraps an arm around his waist, pulling him close. “Let’s go. I’ll walk you to class.”
Tonhon freezes, looking furious, but Nai holds him back by the arm so he won’t cause a scene.
Pang and Na look between the two men, before nodding and walking ahead towards the faculty building.
“P’Karn.” Chon whispers loudly, looking up at him even as he allows the man to lead him forward. “You’ll be late for class. Your faculty is on the other side of the district.” He has a mole on his chin. How very adorable of him.
Leaning in, Karn whispers right next to Chonlatee’s ear, sending goosebumps running up his skin. “You’re my priority, though.”
I won’t survive this. I’ll never survive dating P’Karn.
Damn it, Chon! Fake dating! Fake!
***🩺🐱***
The next 2 weeks passed in much the same way. Having a fake boyfriend was nothing like he imagined. Or more like, it’s different from how he imagined it to be.
When P’Karn suggested this whole deal to get Tonhon off his tail, Chonlatee thought it will be just few times driving him to university few times and then maybe home, having lunch together if Ton was supposed to have classes and just simply appear in front of him ‘as a couple’ for a few dozen times, till he gets the memo.
But P’Karn is nothing but a perfectionist to a fault. As Chon learned right the next day, he took being fake boyfriends way too seriously.
Everyday, the future doctor would wait for the younger man by the doors, driving him to school - sometimes with Pang and Na, if they stayed together watching a show for a while. If the man doesn't have early class he will walk Chon to class and sometimes even if he does have classes. In between breaks and during lectures they would text and talk about a million and one topic, sharing ideas and Karn going beyond to explain something if Chonlatee is confused or hasn't heard about a certain term.
During lunch, Chon, Pang and Na would join Karn, Thapfa and Pong in the cafeteria. Their two groups seem to fit just fine, getting along surprisingly well for people from different majors and age groups. Whenever the others would be too busy or would have a class during that hour, P’Karn would take Chonlatee - if he is free - and they would go for lunch somewhere beside their boring cafeteria. The younger man’s favorite place was the food stall by the river, where the med student took him during one rainy day. Chon liked the view, place and the food was to die for - P’Karn, apparently, caught on to that fast, as the man made sure to take the boy there more often than not, for both lunch and sometimes dinner.
Some days, after class the younger man would meet the future doctor in the library to study and would always get a free ride home, often with a sweet drink or some snacks to enjoy on the way, as there is usually traffic that time of the night and Karn somehow knows that Chon hates being angry and needs a booster.
The nights Chonlatee would have a series-marathon with Pang and Na, he would text the older man right after, sometimes gushing about the episode, other times complaining about the plot. He felt embarrassed at first for bothering the med student with his rambling about BL shows and movies the man probably never watched or been interested in, but to the boy’s surprise P’Karn listened to every word, even sometimes commenting or asking something back.
Once, Chonlatee even asked him if he would rather not talk about shows and would prefer to not be bothered when he is studying in the evening, but the future doctor only shook his head and with his usual matter-of-fact voice stated, like its the most logical thing and not something that made Chon’s brain short circuit.
“I enjoy listening to you talk. You have a really nice voice, Chon.”
He couldn’t sleep for two nights after that, replaying the conversation and remembering Karn’s gorgeous, sparkling doe eyes, filled with sincerity and something he couldn’t name yet, his puffy lips smiling and hidden dimples peaking through. People might say that P’Karn is like a robot or like an Ice Prince, having no emotions, but to Chon he is the kindest, most beautiful person on earth, who shows he cares through actions, his cold demeanor just a shield, while his eyes speak volume about his heart and intentions.
Karn makes him feel seen, understood, accepted and cared for. It’s weird and empowering. Not something he takes for granted, but is eternally grateful that he is the one with the chance to get to know this man like this.
Truth be told, Chonlatee doesn’t remember ever texting someone as much as he texts Karn. talking to him, sharing everything, being open and honest, with no fear of judgment, because he knows that the med student’s questions and silences aren’t signs of annoyance, but rather a slight confusion of something he hasn’t heard about before.
Like that one time Chon talked for hours during their dinner at the stall, about his favorite BL ship and the fanfiction, being cannon, referencing AUs and POVs and whatever not, with Karn listening attentively, with a little frown, yet remaining silent. That night, the confused, adorable look on the man’s face - like a clueless kitten with big eyes - made the younger man laugh. Karn wasn’t offended, but rather looked amused by Chonlatee's happiness and said, in the most serious voice, that he has no idea what any of those terms means. Thus began, Chon’s crash course in BL made especially for P’Karn.
Tonhon never bothered to learn more about Chonlatee and his interests, usually just ignoring them, even sometimes making fun of him for being so childish. It’s for that reason Chon hid most of his love for BL and fanfics and acted ‘normal’, only letting his friends see this softer, cuter side of him. Dating P’Ton didn’t change much of that either.
Now, with P’Karn, fake of not, him being interested in Chonlatee’s interests, wanting to learn more, engaging with him even when he understands minimum, never belittling or making fun of him for ‘being soft’, ‘girly’ or whatever, makes the younger man feel seen and… Well, content.
This is the best relationship he has ever had - yes, he is aware that he only has Ton to compare it too, as the only other relationship - and could have asked for.
It’s just heart breaking that this is fake.
Is it too much to hope that he wishes P'Karn was really into him like that? Was it too much to ask that he is liked?
Is it selfish of him to want this relationship to turn real?
***🩺🐱***
“It’s raining. Wait inside, I’ll come to you.” P’Karn’s voice comes a little distant through the cell, probably because he is talking through the car speaker as he leaves the parking lot.
Today, Karn and Thapfa had a practice lesson in the hospital, so they left early in the morning - after the med student dropped Chon off - and were done just now - it was already 19:00. The younger man spent the whole day with Pang and Na, hanging out between classes and going shopping, before coming to the campus library to finish up on the assignments. Usually he prefers to study at home, but Na said something about an online game challenge with his friends, so Chon stayed back, not wanting to interfere and wanting some quiet time to work.
Tomorrow is Saturday and if he can finish his homework today, then maybe he can plead and ask P’Karn to take him to that little fair outside of the city this weekend.
Chonlatee was so lost in his task that he didn’t even notice how hours had passed and it was already evening, the library was closing down and most of the students had left. The night guard came to warn him a few minutes ago that the building will be closed in 30 minutes, so the younger man was hurrying to leave when P’Karn called.
The med student had already dropped P’Thap home and was heading back, calling to ask if Chon already had dinner or if he was still on campus.
“Sure, Phi. They’re closing the room, so I’ll head to the entrance and wait there.” He commented, shouldering his backpack and heading for the stairs with a slight wai to the night guard. “Please drive safely, ok. The roads are slippery.”
“You probably haven't eaten anything since lunch, right?” It didn’t sound like an accusation, more like a care and worry wrapped in a sweet package. “Going hungry for hours is bad for your health. I’ll get food from the restaurant.”
“Phi, it’s really ok. I can just order something when I get home.”
“You said Na is having people over right. You’re too tired to be around others right now. Food and rest are essential to save energy. You can stay over in my room tonight.”
Chon blinks, unable to form any words. He isn’t sure what to react to first, the fact that he got invited to Karn’s room or the fact that the man he officially met 2 weeks ago knew about him being an introvert and needing peace, quiet and distance to gather his energy.
Before he can come up with a reply, Karn hangs up, promising to be there in 15 minutes.
Once downstairs, the younger man sits on the stairs, dropping his bag and books by his hips and hugs his knees, hiding his face. He is sure he is bright red right now, his face mirroring the excitement in his heart and giddiness he feels, the whole zoo running crazy inside him right now.
He feels so happy right now, wanting to scream and dance around like a fool. For a moment he contemplates calling Pang and having her scream with him as he tells her how sweet P’Karn is, but she is out of the town with her family this weekend and he doesn’t want to bother. He can gossip and be stupid with his bestie on monday.
Be still my heart. Ah!
Footsteps echo through the silence as someone comes to stand beside him.
Chonlatee smiles, raising his head. “Didn’t I tell you to drive safely in the rain? You’re not as invincible as you think, Khun…” His playful, berating tone of voice died out, color draining from his face as he looked up only to see, not the familiar, lovely eyes of Karn, but P’Tonhon’s smirking face.
The younger man was up on his feet, taking a step back, looking to the sides, only to realize they were completely alone in the empty building staircase, barely lit.
“P’Ton, what are you doing here?”
The man takes a step forward, smiling. “I saw you sitting here alone. Did you forget your umbrella again? Come on, I’ll give you a lift.”
Chon shakes his head, taking a step back. “No, I’m fine. I’m waiting for Phi… For my boyfriend.”
Something dark passes through Ton’s expression as he takes another step forward, cornering the shorter boy against the stone pillar. “You shouldn’t be here waiting alone. Karn is an idiot for making you wait in the dark.”
Fuck! Chonlatee curses as his back hits the wall, maybe if he makes a run down the stairs he can get away. He is so tired of running though. Why won’t P’Tonhon just get a clue?! It’s over.
At the man’s accusation, the younger man raises his chin, feeling pissed. “P’Karn is a future doctor. He studies hard and has responsibilities. He isn’t free like you to stalk me everywhere.”
“Karn is a pompous, rich asshole, who thinks he is better than anyone else, just because he has money and is a doctor. He is just using you, Chon. Once he gets tired he will dump you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“My life is none of your business anymore, P’Ton.” He hates hearing such cruel words towards P’Karn. The med student is nothing like what Tonhon says. He is sweet and kind and always makes time for Chon even when he is busy with classes and practice. Karn isn’t a liar. He isn’t a cheater. “We’re over, P’Ton. I’m not giving you another chance. So please, leave me alone already.”
Tonhon shakes his head, taking Chon’s hands into his, tightening his hold when the boy tries to pull away. “Chonlatee, please give me another chance. I know. I know I hurt you. I broke your trust. But I swear it was never my intention. I was… I was just stressed because of school and made the wrong choice. I’m such an idiot. I never wanted to lose you. I love you, Chon. I’m so sorry. Please, please give me another chance. I can’t live without you, Chon. Please.”
The younger man struggles to pull his hands free, only to have them grabbed painfully. “No, P’Ton. It’s over. I can’t trust you. I can’t give you a second chance. I don’t… I don’t love you anymore!”
It’s such a painful thing to say, such a heartbreaking thing to confess, even to himself. Chonlatee spent most of his life in love with Tonhon, he did everything to get together with him, to earn his love, to be with him, but in the end that love brought him nothing but pain. It’s time to let go. Time to move on.
“No, no, I don’t believe you. You’re just saying that to hurt me. I know you still love me. I know.”
“I’m sorry, P’Ton, but I don’t. There is no love left between us. I’m with P’Karn now. I don’t love you anymore.” Chonlatee confirms again, his heart pained by the realization how true that statement is. He has grown out of that love. Matured and became smarter than whatever hold the older man had on him.
“No. I don’t believe it.” Tonhon pulls him close into his arms, holding him in a strong embrace, his arms tightening the more Chon struggles to break free. “I know you’re just trying to punish me for cheating. You’re trying to hurt me.”
“Tonhon let go! Let go!” Chonlatee screams, fighting back.
“You win, Chon. I’m hurt. I regret it. I won’t even hurt you like that again. You’re mine. I love you and you love me. We can make it work. I’m not letting you go.”
When Tonhon leans in for the kiss, Chon panics, leaning away and trying to push against the much stronger man, unable to break free. He feels tears going down his cheeks as he begs and pleads and shouts for Ton to let him go.
“I’m not letting you go. You’re…”
Suddenly, Tonhon is pulled off of him, spun around and punched, flying back to fall on his butt.
Chonlatee stood there, cheeks tear stained, mouth gaping open, eyes wide in shock staring at furious looking Karn, stationed with his back turned to him, glaring daggers at the man on the ground. Even in anger Karn looked hot - hair mussed, like he ran his hand through it in frustration, like he tends to do when something is too annoying for no reason, glasses slightly crooked at the bridge on his nose, lips pulled thin and eyes burning hell fire. For anyone he must have looked terrifying, but to Chon, right then he was as beautiful an angel of vengeance.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing to my boyfriend!” The med student shouted, hands fisted by his hips, right one a little red from the punch he just threw.
Tonhon looks up with hatefilled eyes, jumping to his feet and advancing on the other man, grabbing at his lapels. “He is not your boyfriend. Chon is mine. Do you think I don’t know he is faking it to get back at me? Chon will always come back to me.” He throws the next punch, knocking the glasses off Karn.
P’Karn doesn’t back away though, he practically growls, hitting Ton again, sending him flying back. Chon moves before they can actually start a brawl, latching onto Karn’s arm, knowing he won’t push him off in fear of hurting the shorter man.
“P’Karn please. Stop. Let’s just go.” He begs, looking up with big, watery eyes at the man.
The future doctor turns to him, expression turning soft, cupping his cheek with his free hand, his hold gentle on his skin despite the frustration the boy can still see burning in his eyes. “Did he hurt you?” His eyes are running all over him, like he can see and list every scratch, hurt and pain on him - physical or emotional - with just his gaze.
Chonlatee shakes his head, snuggling closer. “I’m fine, Phi. Let’s just go, na? Let’s leave.”
As Karn bends down to pick up his glasses, Ton snorts, jumping to his feet again, his lip and nose is bleeding, a big bruise already forming under his left eye. “Such an obedient dog.”
The younger man holds onto the man fast, when the med student goes for another punch. “P’Ton stop!” He orders, turning to glare at the man. “Leave me alone. I’m not going back to you. I don’t want to see you again. If I ever meant anything to you, then please, leave me alone.” He shouts, taking Karn’s hand and turns to grab his own bag and lead the man down the stairs, towards where he haphazardly parked his car in his rush to get to Chon.
“Karn will get tired of you soon, Chonlatee. When he dumps you and you come crying to me, I won’t take you back. We’re done!” Ton shouts in finality, as if it wasn’t Chon who broke up with him like 100 times now.
Whatever makes him feel superior. Whatever. This chapter of my life is over.
Tension still prominent in his posture, Karn leads Chonlatee to the passenger side, with a gentle hand to his lower back, helping him inside and rounding to the drivers side, flipping Tonhon off right before getting in and driving.
***🩺🐱***
A little more than an hour later Karn and Chonlatee end up in Karn’s living room, sitting next to each other on the couch, as the younger boy treats the cut over the man’s knuckles.
The doctor urged Chon to shower and change into clean, dry clothes - Karn’s shirt, which is too big on him and sweat pants, which he had to tie and roll two times to stay on his hips at least - while the med student also quickly changed into comfy sweats and tank top, showing off his muscled arms - which did nothing to Chon’s already wildly beating heart, thank you very much.
Is it possible to have a heart attack from how sexy someone is?
“Are you sure, you’re ok? You’re still shaking.” Karn inquiries, frowning when the younger man refused to meet his eyes.
Chonlatee nods, throwing away the used pads and putting the balm away into the first aid kit. “Hmm. I was scared earlier, but it’s nothing Phi. I’ll be fine.”
“Chon.” The med student takes his shaking hand, voice stern. “Look at me.”
“P’Karn…”
“Please?” It’s the softly spoken command, not pressing, yet kind of desperate, laced with worry, that makes the shorter one look up. He knows his eyes are red right now, and could feel them burn, but he is fine really. He’ll calm down in a bit.
Whatever his expression is doing though, makes P’Karn look devastated as he slides a little away on the sofa. Before Chon could truly mourn the loss of warm touch, the other man opens his arms wide and motions for him to come close.
Chonlatee blinks. “I don’t understand.”
It must be a play of light and fatigue playing tricks on him, because Chon could swear, he sees the tips of P’Karn’s ears turn red. “Thapfa says that whenever Dao and Thui are upset he hugs them until they feel better. You’re upset now, so… You can hug me until you feel good again.”
Chonlatee ducks his head, heart fluttering, smile stretching his lips. He is so adorable.
Clearing his throat the med student lowers his arms a little, but doesn’t move otherwise. “I’m not really… good at this. Comforting someone. Talking. Thapfa is much better at it, softer, kinder, disgustingly good, but… If you want to, I can… try.”
Yep, his ears are definitely red. So shy.
Not losing another moment, Chon slides quickly over the sofa and throws himself into the man’s arms, his own wrapping around his waist and hiding his flaming face in the med student's shoulder. Calm, safe and secure, for the first time in what felt like forever.
“Thanks, P’Karn.” He mumbles against the doctor’s collarbone.
“Hmm.” Is all that Karn says, bringing his own arms to hold the boy tight, one hand over his back, the other tangled in his hair, letting Chon take all the warmth and comfort he needs.
They don’t say anything for a while. Don’t move. Just exist. Breathing in unison, sharing warmth.
Honestly, Chonlatee doesn't need any words right now.
He can clearly understand it. His own growing feelings. Karn soft affection, freely, yet clumsily given.
The reality hits as he closes his eyes, letting the smell of peppermint and cinnamon fill his senses, arms tightening around the slim, yet powerful body beneath, as the long, talented fingers of the med student play with Chon’s hair.
I like him. I like him. I like him.
Oh, no. I’m in love with Phi’Karn.
***🩺🐱***
The giddiness over his realization and worry over how to deal with it, how to confess or if he even should, overthinking and sleepless nights last all of one day, till Sunday afternoon.
Saturday they go to the fair, have fun and flirt and laugh and act like a real couple, which confuses Chonlatee as much as it gives him hope. Having P’Karn’s full, undivided attention, his softness and gentle words, holding his hand and getting spoiled by him is intoxicating, even addicting. Saturday, during their - hopefully - date, Chon grows sure that he should confess. After all, if Karn spoils him and cares for him this much he must feel something, right?
Even if he is not feeling anything, holding it in won’t do anyone any good. Case in point Chon’s years-long crush on Tonhon, which ended in disaster.
So Chonlatee decided that he would confess and let Karn decide. If he accepts then he will be the happiest man alive, if not, then the younger man hopes that they can at least stay friends.
With P’Ton finally giving up, they can end the fake relationship and maybe have a real one.
Or completely disappear from each other’s life, which is sad. No, Chon doesn’t want that.
Then Sunday afternoon happens and all of Chon’s dreams come crashing down.
He wakes up Sunday morning, feeling refreshed and so happy. Texting P’Karn and asking if they could meet, already planning to at least hint at more than just a fake relationship. Pang suggested he needs to first fake-break up with him and then ask him out for real this time. But Chon is impatient, so he will test the waters today, end their deal tomorrow and then hopefully gather enough courage to ask the man out. For real this time.
Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, who knows, Karn texted back that he has plans with a friend today, so they won’t be able to meet. They can however have dinner together tonight. In Karn’s room again, with a take out and movie. Without much thought, Chonlatee agreed, jumping around the bedroom like a crazy bunny.
Too excited to stay still in his room and wanting to share this excitement with someone, he texted Pang for a show binging date and Na to come too after he’s done with his groceries, before leaving the flat. Amazing friend that she is, Pang said she is down and Chonlatee promised to bring their favorite snacks and drinks, heading straight to the market, before going to Pang’s.
Maybe if he didn’t leave the flat and didn’t run to the market that day, Chon could spend another day living in an illusion of P’Karn ever returning his feelings and being in love with him too.
Just one more happy, delusional day with Karn, as boyfriends, before Chonlatee gets his heart broken.
After he got everything he needed, the younger man headed to the cashier, paying for everything. That’s when he saw them.
P’Karn crossed the street walking with a cute younger guy, with ruffled hair, big eyes, sunshine smile, talking excitedly as the doctor listened with patience and smiled, leading him into another shop.
Tears filled his eyes as Chonlatee felt his heartbreak once again to pieces. Karn and that boy looked so close, intimate and familiar with each other. The doctor looked so kind, soft with him, looking at the younger man with care. They looked good next to each other too, both handsome and sweet.
That day, Chon ignored all texts and calls from Karn. He ran right to Pang, told her everything and spent the next day and night crying in her arms. Lonely and abandoned again. With no one to love him.
He felt doomed to never find the love he desires. Why does every man he falls for already have someone else in their life?
No, it’s not P’Karn’s fault. Chon is just an idiot.
Of course, Karn has someone he likes.
The med student is so nice and kind and wonderful and beautiful and smart and talented and perfect. That’s why he offered to help Chonlatee. Karn didn’t promise him anything, he just helped Chon to get rid of Tonhon’s advances.
It’s the younger man who started to fantasise about something more. He is the one who fell in love like an idiot. He is so stupid to believe in fantasy.
It was fake. All fake. I should have never believed it could be more.
***🩺🐱***
After that Sunday Chonlatee ended everything with Karn - over text and then turned off his phone, ignoring any reaction, text or call he might have made.
The very next day he traveled back home and hid with his mom for a whole week, skipping classes and avoiding Karn. Even Pang and Na were told to make up excuses and tell the doctor they don’t know where he is. When they talked his best friends did tell him Karn has been asking about him and he should at least listen, but Chon was still too weak, hurt and heartbroken to do it.
When he came back, he moved in with Pang, blocked Karn, deleted his social media, changed his routines to campus and out and routines he took to classes. Chonlatee knows Karn has been asking about him and looking for him, but so far Chon was one step ahead.
He was clearly avoiding him and by now, everyone knew.
The issue with avoiding someone in university, when they know your schedule by heart, because you gave it to them, is that - sooner or later they find you.
“You’ve been avoiding me.” Karn accuses him, finally cornering him in the library, during free period - when the younger man came to finish his assignment and was looking for a book between the shelves in the farthest corner of the room.
Chonlatee freezes, turning to look at the taller man blocking the only exist, the other side of the isle ends at the window, so unless the boy jumps down the third floor he is stuck between two bookshelves, a window and a man he has been avoiding for almost a month now.
Karn doesn’t look pissed, just worried, fatigue evident in his posture as he stands with his arms crossed, pleading for answers with his big boba eyes. He must be so tired. Studying for exams, doing his practice and attending classes, while also looking and being concerned about Chonlatee who has been selfishly running away instead of being honest and facing the man and his feelings.
“P’Karn.” Chon mumbles, not moving as the man walks closer, hands clutching at the hem of his white shirt playing with the material. “How did you find me?”
The doctor raises a brow, lip twitching up a little. “Pong’s boyfriend Ton is training to become a detective right now. He is really good at his future job too.” He sounded more proud than annoyed, amusement flashing in his gaze.
Chonlatee bites his lower lip, avoiding the med student’s eyes. He is standing so close now, only two steps away, practically cornering the younger man against the bookshelf. Somehow, he doesn’t feel trapped though, heart beating fast in excitement, being so close to that alluring smell of cinnamon and peppermint, being observed by those brown eyes that plague Chon’s dreams every night.
“Now tell me, Chon. Why have you been avoiding me?” He sighs. “Did I do something to scare you? Thap seems to think I either bored you to death or annoyed you with something, so you left.”
“No, no, um…” Chon denies in a hurry. Too fast. Looking up at the lovely eyes and freezing, his breathing too loud in the silence of the, mostly empty, library as he starts taking loud, measured breaths to calm his heart. It’s useless, being this close to the man he loves after weeks apart is doing something strange to him. He missed being with P’Karn. Beside the whole crush thing, the man is an amazing company and a good friend.
God! Why did I have to fall in love with a friend?
“You didn’t do anything wrong, P’Karn. I swear. I just… P’Ton left me alone finally and… I just didn’t want to bother you anymore. So I ended our agreement.”
Something passed in the med student’s gaze, too fast to see, but a lot like annoyance. Or was it hurt? “Did I say I was bothered? Did I say anything about ending the arrangement?” He steps impossibly close, the self digging into Chon’s back, neck strained from looking up to hold eye contact.
Chonlatee licked his lips, noticing the man’s eyes dropping to them at the action. “We can’t keep doing the fake relationship anymore, P’Karn. It will cause problems between you and your boyfriend.”
Karn leans his head back, cutely tilting his head to the side like a confused kitten. “Boyfriend? Who?”
“You don’t have to lie.” Chon mumbles, shifting a little, hands twisting in his shirt, not wanting to reach out and smooth the lines between the doctor’s eyebrows. “I saw you with him that Sunday. I asked you to hang out and you were busy. I was going over to Pang’s and saw you with that boy you. You were shopping.”
Karn blinks for a second, before snorting, shaking his head. “You mean Inthu?” The med student cups the shorter boy’s cheek, gently caressing the no doubt redness under his eye. The gesture is so familiar and painfully warm that Chon unknowingly leans into it, nuzzling the man’s palm like a cat. “Inthu is not my boyfriend.”
Chonlantee’s eyes snap open in shock. “He is not? Then… Who? But you seemed so close and familiar with each other.”
“In, is Dao’s friend. He is like a brother to me and I often take him, Dao and Thui places, when Thap is busy.” He laughs.
“Oh.” Now he feels stupid.
Karn leans his forehead against his, breathing a sigh of relief as if a crisis has just been averted. To be honest, Chonlatee felt the same. He could finally breathe easily, heart no longer hurting, but filled with love and hope.
“Also…” The doctor continues. “Inthu is Thapfah’s boyfriend. They started dating last month. He asked me to go shopping with him that day to buy Thap a one-month anniversary gift.”
Oh, god, how the hell did he get so many things wrong.
“Next time you’re confused, unsure or insecure come to me, na, don’t overthink and don’t avoid me, Chon. Please.” Karn pleads in a soft tone.
Embarrassed, Chonlatee hugs the taller man and hides his face in the other’s shoulder. His face feels on fire, wanting to run from his own stupidity and stay in the safety of the man’s embrace, heart at peace and happy, knowing he still has a chance.
“Aw, is my little boyfriend jealous?” Karn coos in his ear, one arm going around his waist to pull him closer, the other hand combing through his hair - in the last few weeks playing with Chon’s hair has become his favorite thing.
“No.” He denies, nuzzling closer under the med student’s chin.
The doctor’s pout was obvious in his voice, same as the pleased smile. “You’re not? Then why were you avoiding me? I missed my boyfriend, na.”
Chonlatee raises his head petulantly, trying to ignore his flaming cheeks. “I’m not jealous. Why would I be jealous? We’re not even boyfriends!”
“Ah, you’re right. We should fix it then, no?” The med student agrees, tightening his arms to bring him close.
Chon startles, both hands now fisted on the lapels of the taller man’s shirt, eyes running from his big eyes to his puffy lips and back. “Yeah, we do need to fix this.”
Karn nuzzles their noses together, both smiling bright, stupid and in love. “What do you say, Chon? Will you be my boyfriend? For real this time.”
So happy he could scream and dance and jump silly around, he only pouts, pretending to think. “I’ll think about it.”
“That won’t do, Chon.” Karn fake-whines, nuzzling his cheek and then under his ear. “What can I do to make you agree? Na? I’ll do anything.”
Instead of an answer, Chonlatee grabs Karn by the nape with both hands and crushes their lips together. The doctor smiles into the uncoordinated kiss, before cupping the boy’s cheek with one hand, angling his head and properly kissing his new and only and forever boyfriend right there, hidden between the bookshelves in the campus library.
The kiss is so soft, sweet and full of love, that hasn’t been spoken aloud yet, but felt and seen in every way that counts.
Chon felt happy. So freaking happy.
***🩺🐱***
EXTRA 😉
Karn POV
“Look, your boy is there.” Thap smirks, nodding towards the big coffee shop windows.
Karn grumbles, turning to look at where Chonlatee - yes, he learned his name, Karn knows people, he has ways - and his friends are standing. Just like for the past 2 years, at the sight of a pair of big eyes that captured him right away, his heart starts beating like crazy, about to jump out.
He looks so cute today. Yet tired. He is probably not sleeping well. That asshole Tonhon must have upset him somehow. I’m gonna kill that asshole.
“He looks so heartbroken. I think he broke up with Tonhon.” Pokpong informs them.
Karn feels his heart skip a beat.
“Damn Karn, this is your chance. Go get him.” Thap pats him on the shoulder, smirking.
The doctor slaps his friend’s hand away frowning. “I’m not going to use his vulnerable state to approach him, like some scumbag, Thanpfa.”
“Come on, dude, you’ve been crushing on him and following the boy, with your puppy dog eyes, ever since he came by our med-table during orientation week, because of a scrapped knee.”
“I’m aware. Which is why I’m waiting for my time. Chonlatee is not someone who likes confrontations or people being too persistent. He is shy. Besides, he was happy with Ton, I didn’t have any right to break them up.”
His best friend rolls his eyes, leaning back, drink in hand. “All I’m saying is, if you don’t make a move soon, someone else will steal your boy again. Then you will be moping around campus all heartbroken again, like you did when Chonlatee and Tonhon started dating. And lose that whole "I'm a rich asshole with no real-life problems” attitude, people are scared of you already.”
“I’m not acting like anything, I’m busy with my classes and have no time for distractions.”
“They think you’re always angry. Your boy is single now. If you want him to notice you, then you better stop scaring him.”
“Speaking of his sweetheart, Chonlatee and his friends are coming here.” Pong smirks, leaning back to watch.
Both friends turn in time to see Chon barrel through the coffee shop, in a quick move, practically running towards their table, with a determined look and eyes that plead for something. Once by their side, the boy leans forward, grabbing Karn’s nape with a cheerful greeting. “Sorry I’m late, teerak.” And kisses the doctor on the lips, right there in the middle of the coffee shop, in front of Thap, Pong, his asshole ex-boyfriend, his friends - who look like they just saw a ghost and other students around.
Maybe Karn will make a move after all. Now that Chonlatee has fallen into his life, literally, there is no way Karn is letting the boy go without a fight.
He smirks in the kiss, heart fluttering, grateful for finally getting a chance.