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"Don't you know? Your utility doesn't make you indestructible, Levi." Those were the first words that Erwin said to him that evening. The look in his eyes was harsher than they had been in a while. The Captain had pulled back from the main group just to strike out on his own and take down a slew of Titans that were just about to wipe out their left flank. "You have to know that."
Erwin walked, pacing back and forth in his office like something possessed. His fingers curled and uncurled at his sides, into fists and out again before they parted to run through his hair. Levi, made to sit in the chair before the desk, had turned himself around to watch the newly-made commander lose himself in the line between professionalism and personal concern.
Silver eyes track the way that he chews the inside of his lip. The bob in his throat as he swallows.
Erwin continues. "I know you don't think you're unkillable. I know that you don't go into danger with the same reckless abandon as new Scouts do, because you come back. Goddammit, Levi. You know I need you alive. Do you understand that? A titan will jump out at you. You will be surprised, you are not superhuman-"
Levi watches as he cuts himself off again, shaking and trembling. This whole endeavor had been building for weeks. Months. Years. Erwin watched him go off time and time again. He'd held his tongue in the past but now that he was officially above him? He had to sit here and go through the same chastisement that every other Scout did when they did something that shouldn't be repeated.
"Why did you do it?" Erwin rounds on him, like a hound hungry for the next piece of meat- an argument for his side.
"They would have died had I not intervened." The Captain replies flatly. This was a matter he didn't want to budge on. People were alive because of him. "I told them to run like all hell when we were attacked. I moved in to report to you. I did so. You asked me to stay, and I failed to follow through on that ask of yours because I could save lives, commander."
Erwin pauses. Lacing his fingers, he pushes them underneath his own jaw as if to give himself a chinrest. He seems to be forcing his mouth closed lest he say words that he regretted. "You disregarded an exact order from me."
Licking over his bottom lip, that seems to get to the soldier.
"I asked you to stay. You refused to do so and while yes, we may have more troops, you put yourself in the direct line of danger while I was attempting to secure the majority's safety. The titans would have been slowed down anyhow, and I could have used you to scout ahead, beside- or frankly? You could have just rode beside me and would do so, because those were my orders."
Standing over the soldier in the chair, the sun hits him at full force through the window behind his desk. Erwin Smith. The devil shines in his full glory.
"You're asking me to let them die."
"Yes." Erwin replies, his gaze leaving no room for argument. "I need you to trust me completely if I am to trust you like you want me to. This system of understanding does not go one way. You do not get to pick and choose- it is all or nothing. I am asking you to do what I recruited you for: to fly for me. That means placing all your blame onto my shoulders."
Levi nods.
"Your team feels the same way, I assure you. Trust in them, too. I thought you would have learned this earlier. With your work last year as a Captain and-"
"Stop." Levi hisses from the chair. His eyes sharpen. Oh how fast they can move from careful pools that mirror the world around him into blades. "That's a line, Commander."
Blinking like he'd risen out of a stupor, Erwin inhales a deep breath and then lets it go. "Apologies. In summary, I need you to stop striking out on your own. I'm sure it was appreciated, and it would be, but it's a damn good way to get yourself killed."
A tense nod rises from the soldier in the chair. One of his legs shifts over the other as he seems to take the advice to heart. "In my own group, I'll trust them when we make decisions. During normal combat, and when you're not barking at me," he smirks. "Out of orders, to say, I'll do what I want. And, Commander Smith? I want my team to survive."
"However," Levi holds up a finger to the commander who'd opened his mouth. "Under direct orders, either given by you or myself for a mission, I will be following them to the letter. It wasn't my intention to shirk your orders or your respect."
And then. He speaks words that hadn't been heard before.
"I formally apologize." His right hand curls into a fist and he places it against the left side of his chest. Right over his heart. The salute. The last time he'd given one was his swearing-in. Before that? It would have been at the last funeral for their fallen troops.
Grey eyes hold blue.
Erwin drags it out. Both because he knows he won't see it for a while, and because he wants the message to sink in. A bird caws outside. Somebody starts walking down the hall and turns away, lost. The sounds of the scouts getting back from a run outside breaks the silence, and Erwin's eyes tear away.
"Dismissed."
The formal stance Levi took breaks as he folds his arms over his chest to size him up. "You're stressed." He says, as if that wasn't evident.
"Yes." Erwin confirms as he turns back to the assortment of papers on his desk. Headache after headache. The previous commander died in action- they didn't tend to live long and had the nasty habit of procrastinating on all of their various tasks just on the off chance that they’d die and wouldn't have to get to them. That worked. "The bastard before me–"
"Don't tarnish the dead that way." Levi teases, stepping beside him- not to look at the paperwork but instead affix his eyes on the tendon that protruded on the side of his neck whenever he got frustrated. So he switches topics. "You said earlier that I'm not superhuman."
Erwin grunts, his eyes still scanning the to-do list. "I think you're gifted in ways that nobody else is."
"That's literally the definition of superhuman."
Blue eyes tear away from the desk to peer into grey. "What do you want, Levi?" All of his attention focuses on the soldier who is perhaps the only one in his ranks who rises to the occasion instead of shrinking under his gaze.
"My room. 7 pm." Levi says, as if it wasn't what it was. Like he could just toss it into conversation.
"And Erwin? If you're late, I'll kill you."
***
The commander wasn't late. On the contrary, he was early. Five minutes before Levi asked, he hears a hand close around the handle and pull. Erwin walks through the door with a look in his eyes that completely unanticipated what was waiting for him.
Levi rushes out of the darkness with a knife in his hand.
Closed blinds devour most light from the evening outside and the commander's quick motion- pressing his back against the door- cuts off the hallway's glow. It streams just underneath the lip of the door and lights up Levi's expert footwork as he cuts through the beam of light. Smooth motions guide him to slip under Erwin's right arm which was sent out to block him.
The blonde's left soon follows, working to bar against Levi's chest to stop him from moving forwards. Yet, still in reach, the ex-thief's hand darts out to press the flat of his blade against his throat.
Neither of them move for a long second.
Erwin speaks first. "Is this your way of getting back at me?"
"No." Levi holds it there. "This is my way of telling you that you should be far more on guard than you already are, shithead."
Erwin's arm strains and tenses before he shoves Levi back. The blade flashes through the air again and Erwin twists sideways, barely dodging an attack from the Captain who he had a hand in training. Levi's moves had been memorized by him a long time ago. He puts that to his use now.
Levi catches what's happening, but his strike still carries through to the wood beside his target. The blade buries itself into the door and he manages to pull it out with some difficulty.
What he doesn't notice are the arms that wrap around him from behind. One around his waist and the other angled right below his arm- in a position to break it. However, the real surprise was the way Erwin's fingers splay against his neck.
Levi's arm stretches back in the hold just to prove he could put the blade against his neck.
"I think you might be frustrated with me." Erwin comments. "Am I correct?
"You do know this would kill you?"
"I would break your neck." He says, as if discussing the weather.
Erwin's assurance spikes something in Levi. He attempts to twist in his grasp but only manages to get himself pressed against his strong frame even more. At his back, he can feel a strong heartbeat and steady breaths. At least he remained completely calm through the whole encounter. Levi finds he can't parse through a single flaw in his technique. As annoyed as he was, he had to admit they would both indeed die in this situation.
Inhaling a breath that becomes more difficult after the last, Levi's vision darkens around the edges.
A ‘light’ blood choke.
His fingers that try to keep their hold tight around the blade of the knife shiver as it dares to try and slip through his grasp.
"I'm impressed." Comes a warm breath against the shell of his ear. "I almost believe it, you know."
"What?" Levi hisses the words as his left hand scrabbles at the commander's hand.
"That you're superhuman."
As soon as the sound of his knife clattering to the ground breaks the silence, Erwin releases him. Free, Levi steps forwards, managing to stay on his feet as he turns around to gaze at him. In his eyes was respect. Dammit. He couldn't deny that Erwin could hold his own, and he had a feeling that he wouldn't fail in that regard.
The same flicker that had passed through them when they met comes back again. It's startling, and has Levi's eyes snap up to endless blue from where they’d drifted down. Caught.
"Maybe I am." He says. Now it is his turn to be indifferent. The Captain takes steps backwards. Erwin follows. Soon, his thighs meet the back of the bed and he bites the scar against the corner of his mouth. With confidence, he licks his bottom lip and whispers, "come find out."
Erwin sheds his coat and hums in return. "You dropped the knife."
"So what if I did?" Levi's jacket drops off the side of the bed and he starts on the buckles around his body- he hadn't touched them. Too nervous.
"Leave them. I'll help." Erwin calls as he fixes his untucked collar from their little scuffle. His hands find his shirt buttons. "I have a feeling, Levi, that if it was anybody else, you would have been able to get out of that little spar and gain the upper hand."
His eyes attempt to see through the man on the bed. "Am I correct?"
"I don't hold back." Levi scowls, unbuttoning his own shirt. It was hard to get it off underneath the various different straps, but he did so, tearing along a seam he’s sewn many times. Lithe and muscled, the straps against his body shift a little with the motions. They'd need to be tightened to stay settled. His shirt was thicker to minimize the marks that every Scout had on their skin, but it didn’t work all the way. Not for the marks he’s had for what seems like his whole life. "Especially not against you."
Erwin discards a pair of cream pants and folds them as he speaks. "That can't possibly be true."
That sentiment causes Levi's nose to wrinkle. Kenny's comment about the Ackerman family being bonded
to certain figures makes his stomach shift. It'd been coming up in his thoughts more and more over the past year of working beside and now under Erwin. Sure, they had fooled around in their group, but he has never worked with him on this level before.
The past month had his mind finding more respect where he had previously warred with the anger, annoyance, and varying amounts of vitriol for him.
"Fuck." Levi says, nearly empathetically as he finally reaches through and grasps the concept that it might just be Erwin who he's bonded to. His eyes snap up sideways to look at him. Brows angle as he tries to see him in a different light. There doesn't seem to be a change, but is that really true?
Deeper, Levi twists his own hand in his chest as he parses through the feelings. Sina, he felt like he was nearly ripping the damn thing out just to understand. The line has blurred so far between devotion and tentative love that he doesn't know where one stops and the other begins. Erwin's required him to trust him with his life from the moment they met- naturally, he wanted him to put that faith in others, but he hasn't managed so far.
Erwin gave him the gift, the boundless chance to put every ounce of his own power in the chance to do something that could be worth something. Because of that, he'd heeded practically every order out of duty, aside from the one today.
Grey eyes snap to blue.
Erwin hasn't said a damn thing. Instead he's watched Levi's brows shift and his face develop through a variety of expressions. Possibly the most concerning of them all being a slight variety of fear. With the brief spell of Levi's thought process broken, he clears his throat. "Would you care to enlighten me?"
"No." Instinct. He winces. Bites his tongue. Doubles back. "Yes. This does involve you."
So the larger of the two lumbers forwards and sinks against the side of the bed. The energy from earlier that they had been building was placed aside, but not extinguished. Levi still sees it in his tense hands on the bed, the way his breaths pass through his chest not with exhaustion from their bout, but the intensity of a man who had a tight grasp on self-regulation. Levi watches Erwin wait. "It's never needed to come up." He starts, shifting until he's sitting sideways.
Erwin shifts to give him his lap. In an instant, Levi's head lowers down against his thigh. Physical touch helped them both. Was that another element of it? The captain tenses- all before warm hands dive against his skin and Erwin slowly runs his fingers underneath each strap just to feel the scars made by the gear. As much as Levi disliked to admit it, he liked the feeling of him feeling the decades of work poured into his body.
"We have this physical response to danger. It happens differently with all of us. Skips a generation sometimes." Levi hisses against his teeth. Kuchel. "It's instinctual, but comes alive under the guidance of somebody who can help us realize our true potential. A reason to fight- to survive when nobody else can. That person..."
The commander's hand pauses against his skin. "Go on."
"That person gives us something nobody else can. In turn, we protect them with our lives. All of our lives which pass on combat knowledge." Warmth floods his face as he turns his head to gaze up at Erwin who looks like he's actually eating his words from earlier. He seems to have nearly swallowed his tongue, rushing to cough up an answer.
"And I'm-"
"Yes, I'm beginning to suspect that it's you. I don't know why. Actually, maybe I do. Maybe it was the day that Furlan and Isobel died and I realized you had something nobody else had. That I didn't have." As soon as he says it, a rush of confirmation through his body nearly extends beyond him. Grey eyes search upwards. They ask: 'do you feel the same thing as I do?'
"Levi." Erwin's voice is aching, tender as his hands slip off his shoulders just to hold one of his hands. "Is that why you’re so committed to the cause?" ‘To me?’
"No. That's my own internal decision. I want to be committed, you just give me the strength to outlast, sustain, and kick everyone else's ass." He rises from where he lays, sitting up and turning around to face the other man. "Don't think about it. Really. It doesn't change fuck-all."
Instead, Erwin seems to frown. "Doesn't it?"
"No." Levi comments again, slipping over his thighs. The straps rub at Erwin's skin and leave an impression- who boasts similar marks- but they aren't as deep as his own. One of his hands pauses near his collarbone as a thought strikes him. "Unless you want to really try giving me an order and we can see how that works out."
"Would it work that way?"
"Find out." Is all the advice Levi gives him as he rises, nipping the hard shell of his ear.
His pulse runs rampant. Erwin had commanded him through asked orders- 'Levi, would you scout ahead?', 'Levi, can you demonstrate how you would act in this situation?' , 'Levi, would you handle writing these letters?' None of them had consisted of a true order- save for that one time in the heat of the battle. He asked him to retreat to doing crowd control- no, ordered him. Levi peeled back and didn't speak to him for a week. He thought it was him just being himself, but this?
"Levi," he starts, and then changes his tone as he finds what he wants from him. "Levi, tighten the straps on your left bicep." It's a command, not the way Erwin would do so with his soldiers but instead, he tugs on that feeling in his chest and makes it his call. There's a rush of adrenaline through his body from issuing a command this way.
It's multiplied by a hundred as he watches Levi, with a flicker of interest in his eyes, reach his hand over and tighten the buckle. Now it sits against his skin, snug and unmoving.
"Sina." Erwin can only murmur, his throat dry.
"Does it turn you on?" Levi asks. "The command? The small way that you get to have my power, my fight, my energy, my soul, even just for a second? You like having your mark on me, don't you? You've wanted it for a while."
The devouring look in his blue eyes confirms it.
Levi feels a warm hand against his chest push him down. Holding him against the bed, Erwin starts tightening his straps himself. One after another. All over his chest and arms, down to his waist, and then he loosens and unclasps the ones on his legs just to pull his pants off- his hands pause on his underwear. "So it does turn you on," he muses, nodding for Erwin to continue.
"I want you, Levi Ackerman. I want every single little bit that you can give me. I want more than that, and I'm absolutely aware of how that sounds- I know what that means to you. I know-"
The earnest way he speaks sends a shock to Levi's gut as he hears him ramble. "Erwin. Erwin-"
Reaching up and tangling a hand in his hair, Levi pulls his still-speaking head down so their mouths could meet. They manage to fit together just as easily as they normally do, with Erwin's bottom lip in between his. It allows him to nip, bite, tease. He tugs now, "mh. Win, stop talking. Move. Either fuck me, or I'll fold you in half myself." Adding a small snarl to his words, he bites down on his lip.
"But Levi, you must understand what I'm trying to say. The guil-"
"Guilt? Wasn't it you who said we would have no regrets? Absolutely none? So don't you fucking dare start now, Smith." Levi's teeth clack against each other as he shivers from the adrenaline coursing through his veins. That conversation did something for him. "I need you here and now. This doesn't change us- this can't change us."
Erwin seems to be somewhere between before, where he let himself go, and here, holding back demons. All before his eyes take in the figure against the bed. Levi nearly seems desperate. "Are-"
"Focus." Levi orders through his tone- he didn't have the same command and it was nothing more than the power coursing through his veins.
But the effect it has on Erwin was complete. The commander stiffens before laughing against the bitten inside of his cheek. "You're certainly insistent tonight." Reaching sideways for the bedside table, he manages to pull out a small amount of lube which he had imposed upon Levi to keep for occasions such as these.
The man on the bed watches it coat his fingers and shifts in the variety of straps. They were tight, and of-fucking-course Erwin had a kink about the gear. How the hell hadn't he noticed?
"You-ngh, shit. You like the way I fit into the gear, don't you?" Panting around the sensation of Erwin's warm finger pressing into him, his body shivers and cock twitches in anticipation. In response, he feels the commander's finger twist, and a choked moan leaves his mouth. "Dammit."
"We don't need to be so crass." Erwin murmurs, adjusting his hand to place a second one against Levi's entrance. "What happens if I order you not to swear?"
"Fuck you." Levi grumbles in response, and he opens his mouth to unleash a foolish insult, only to get cut off by a kiss. Another sound leaves his lips. Some kind of whine, feeble and entirely not a sound that he ever thought or wanted to be making. His fingers are scissoring now, switching back and forth in motions that cause his muscles to strain against the fabric keeping him bound.
It's a nice combination between the absolute 'no' Levi would give him on an extensive kind of bondage, to a ‘yes’ with the gear. It’s both light enough and familiar enough. It's comforting to know that he's the one who tenses, tightens, and strengthens to increase the feeling. They pull taut as his hips stir, trying to buck into the air as soon as the dual fingers thrust upwards. "-gh."
"Calm." Erwin orders, all before realizing what he was doing. He nearly bites it back, but from the way that Levi acquiesces, melting into his hands, he uses the opportunity. There's something new on the fringes of his mind that he's always wanted to try. "Good job."
The purred praise causes Levi to melt in all different ways as one of his hands jumps to the bed beside him. Pulse galloping, he locks eyes with Erwin- all before he realizes it was too late to deny it- and then darts his eyes away.
"If I had known you had a praise kink, I would've used that earlier."
Levi strains, insides attempting to snap down around his hand. "It's not," he manages through tight breaths. "It's not a praise kink. I'm not-"
"Look at you." Erwin's voice rumbles. As soon as he feels another shudder on his fingers, his smile turns into one that's grasped yet another way to tease him. Angling his hand, he works into him with slow and steady thrusts, all what seems to seem the opposite of what Levi wants.
It's enough to have the Captain taking matters into his own hand.
Cussing, Levi pushes himself up and nudges his hand out. He sets his sights on his target. For the second time that night, he sees Erwin nearly rabid with knowledge, power, the look in his eyes was devouring, as if he was trying to learn as much as he possibly could. "Enough of that." Lurching forwards, his hands dive against his chest as he pushes the other man back against the bed.
One of his hands snakes, as fast as sin, and he winds it around his throat. Applying light pressure just to get Erwin to stay there, he swings a leg around his waist and gets some of the lube himself. Balancing between choking the man- but letting him breathe- and slicking up the length behind him, Levi carries on the conversation.
"I bet you have some kinks too, Smith." He berates, the look in his eyes triumphant. "Knowing you, it's something fucked up. Ah, maybe it's something to do with the mind?"
He can't answer, instead too focused on trying to lower his racing pulse and taking breaths when Levi wants him to.
Levi, crowned victor against his abdomen, abandons the couple strokes he had been giving Erwin and nearly adjusts his hand to get seated on his length. ‘Not yet,’ seem to be the words running through his veins. Erwin would need to earn it. Power rushes his body from the thought- and his fingers rise to allow him the ability to breathe again. "You like it when I know things. When you place problems in front of me and I solve them. You like it when I figure out what you're doing and I think I know exactly what's happening."
"Do... tell." Erwin's hoarse voice rises as Levi's hand moves completely off his neck.
"I think you enjoy being found out as much as you enjoy setting traps. You don't know this-" he leans closer, gazing down at him with unblinking hues. "Because it so rarely happens."
The words earn a grunt of approval below him.
"You're too possessive. You can't let yourself have me- not truly and not like you want to- so you've engineered my impatience against me, and guess what?" Showing his teeth, Levi's hand snaps behind him to find Erwin's length again. "You've done it. Ask."
“Please.” It comes too quickly and yet perfectly at the same time. Erwin trembles below him.
Without more fanfare, he guides Erwin's length under him and slowly sinks upon it . Inch by inch, he adjusts at his own pace, snapping and scolding at every tense underneath him. Erwin, he found, seems to have a thing for being talked down to. "Perhaps you need somebody to match you? You need it like breathing, and since I'm the only one who can, you're so scared to break that. Break me. But you know what? That's fucking stupid." Halfway down, he inhales a tight breath before his eyes burn with the same fever in his veins.
"You can't break me, Smith. You haven't even come close."
Erwin frankly looked stupefied under him. For a moment, it seems he forgot just how good Levi was at reading people. He really thought he had surpassed the man, he thought he could lie to him, or at least hide some of his feelings up his sleeve- but Levi read him like he was the one in the glass house all along. "I'm glad, Levi. I'm glad I can't break you."
"Now I want you to believe it." Fully seated after taking a couple moments to adjust, Levi tosses his head back in pleasure, finding some need to move. "Erwin. You can finally use your hands."
The modicum of control that the Commander had over himself seemed to snap. Erwin's hands reach forwards to bury themselves against the straps on his skin. They tuck against the leather and he fists his hands around the material to secure himself. His muscles shift- large hands and power could be Levi's undoing, and he takes a glance just to see if he's ready.
"The fuck are you looking at? Work with me." The softness in Levi's eyes speaks against the harshness in his words.
It wasn't before long that Erwin was pulling Levi's hips to come down against his thrusts. The marks against Erwin’s skin felt like they burned and sung at the same time, he could feel the warmth, the tightness- he'd need to be quick. So he adjusts his pace and works deeper, panting and groaning as he gazes up at the other man.
Levi was taking him well- just as he always does- with a hand thrown over his mouth as his teeth sink into his palm. The other hand was digging into his wrist, absolutely unable to let him go. He'd created a seal over his mouth, but even that wasn't enough to hide sounds like: "agh- Sina-nh-" which were embarrassing only for Levi, but a delight for Erwin.
"You're doing so well. So good. Look at you up there-" the blonde’s words break with effort and pleasure as he pushes himself up into a sitting position. Heart-to-heart, Erwin tilts his head upwards at Levi's, who looked down upon him as if he could win their little bout. Both wanted to possess the other in ways which couldn't be done. Not naturalistically or logically.
Levi's mouth searches blind against the corner of his own before he finds his lips. Another kiss loosens the Captain's tongue and he feels his scars light up. Not just the ones from the ODM gear, but others. More against his body, which Erwin was tracing with the hand that wasn't desperately tugging him back down.
"Hold me," Levi begins between gasps and moans. "Show me things nobody else can. Treat me like nobody can. Understand-" he whines, the sound is uncharacteristically high as he bites down on his lower lip. "Understand me. I want you to- want to understand me."
The sound is the closest thing to a confession this year, and Erwin's head drops to kiss him fully between gasps. He devours the air that Levi leaves behind, drinking in exhaled breaths and rivaling in the feeling that's been pooling in his gut. His hands jump to hold him tighter, grabbing the manifestations of his duty and using them to bind them together. "I understand you, Levi Ackerman. I swear I will never stop learning about you."
Levi bites down against his shoulder, coming first, either from the sensation of his cock rubbing against Erwin's stomach, or his words, or the friction coming from the straps on his body; he soon feels Erwin coming after him. Warmth trickles down his thighs and yet, his hands stay completely torn into his back.
"You did so well." Erwin rumbles to the man against his chest. "Do you want to move?"
"For now? No."
He'd want to spend forever here, but that would only exist in the marks against his skin and the feeling in his heart.