Chapter Text
Amethyst wasn’t ready to face this.
To face his demons.
But he has too.
He needed to know.
He need-
He had to know so he can fix this.
Surely he can fix this.
He has to be able to. He has to….
If his head wasn’t swirling with a million thoughts and fears
He may have noticed how his hand clung to Blue’s.
Searching for comfort in the midst of his anxiety.
And it does help to pull him forward into the light.
And into the light he goes.
Seeing the Shadow before him mirroring his fear,
Both stuck waiting for the other to strike.
It is this silent moment that everything breaks.
Amethyst’s knees buckle
As all of his memories of Shadow hit at once.
The woods he was propositioned at
The fire temple and the fake duel,
Celebrating with Shadow before trying to break the mirror,
Betrayal to almost death to Shadow being destroyed by the light.
And watching the one person he had come to love vanish
After breaking the Dark Mirror with all of his might.
Sobs that had broken from him after the reality had set in
And the cold as ice rage he took out on Vaati and Ganon
From stealing another of his loved ones from him.
Followed by the months of numb hopelessness
And the darkest moments of depression
Where he wondered if this life was truly worth it.
The months upon months of just staring out his window in distress
Until he found it.
A black magic grimoire
Not for the faint of heart
But it had it: A spell to bring your shadow to life.
He had spent a year after learning everything he needed
While eating only when he was too tired to read.
Grabbing the numerous supplies he would need
As he stole precious items from the others to make the spell work.
His headaches growing from late night reading and so very little water.
He made off like a bandit in the night with cow and Chicken organs,
As his pale skin grew paler
Practicing lesser spells on moon lit nights
And his stomach heaved during the day from it
His body despising the darkness placed forcefully on it.
Practicing and preparing until finally
On a new moon he finally completed the spell.
A blood soaked smile on his face
At the sight of his Shadow in front of him.
Before his vision blurred to the point of darkness
leaves crunched beneath the now collapsed figures.
He comes back to himself crying,
At what Vio has no idea.
His old memories
The horrific things he’s done
To the one person he gave everything to to bring back,
The terrible things he’s done to the other parts of his soul.
He doesn't know whether he wants to cry or laugh more.
He’s never been that good of a person
But he doesn’t think he can be worse than what he is now.
The hours upon hours of torture day after day
Until Shadow feared his very arrival
Terrified of his every movement.
His own barbs and harsh insults given out to everyone around him.
His disregard of others
Thinking that Green was just Ghirahim’s pet.
Thinking of a Blue as just a stupid brute
Seeing nothing in Red but a waste of his time.
Destroying them over the years with his harsh words and violent actions.
His boot in Green’s back in a mockery of a bow before a knife is in his side.
Stabbing Blue to a wall so that she can’t move as he chastises her for every imperfection.
Using Red as target practice because the other is so good at dodging;
Every time he causes the other to fall, he cheers.
Every evil and cruel deed rolling over his shoulders and digging into his mind
Until Blue makes him look into her eyes.
“It’s okay, Vi. I promise it will all be okay.”
Choking out a sob while speaking
“How can it be okay when I can only hurt who I love?”
His glamor fading fully as the distress takes control.
Rough scars and claw marks covering his face and neck,
Dark magic poisoning covering his fingers
And the darkest of eye bags shining bright on his face.
bruises underneath his clothes from “spars”
He looks like a mess barely held together.
No longer the picture perfect administrator.
Just a young man who has been broken and destroyed,
Again and Again and Again.