Chapter Text
‘Pen?’ Eloise’s voice rang out in the empty hallway, sounding all shaky and panicky. She hated the sound of it as it made it all the more real that she was feeling scared. But that was ridiculous. There was absolutely nothing to be afraid of in her best friend's flat. Nothing.
Just because Penelope hadn’t been answering her phone today did not mean there was something wrong. Just because she left Benedict’s gallery opening last night clearly in a fight with her god-awful boyfriend did not mean something was wrong either.
‘Peeennnn.’ Eloise called out again as she shut the door and started to slowly make her way towards the living room. It was eerily quiet and the silence wrapped itself around her neck and squeezed. She took a breath, much shallower than she would have liked it to be, trying to calm her nerves.
Eloise was not even sure why she was feeling scared. On her way over here, she hadn’t even thought twice about it, thinking Penelope was probably too wrapped up in something to answer her phone. It happened sometimes, especially because Penelope was a writer. Sometimes she would get caught up in a good chapter and lose track of time or even leave her flat to write and forget her phone at home. Hazard of being a writer Penelope would say and it was something that made them all laugh. This was definitely one of those times.
But as Eloise had approached the front door to Penelope’s flat, she had started to get a sick feeling in her stomach. What if it wasn’t one of those times?
‘Pen?’ She said again as she rounded the corner, her feet shuffling slightly as the wood flooring changed to carpet. Her voice was softer this time as she could clearly see that there was no one here, both the living room and the open kitchen behind it empty. She noticed the kitchen light was on over the large island and she let out a big sigh of relief. Clearly, Penelope had been here and had stepped out for a quick errand or something as there was no other way she would leave her lights on.
Eloise stopped for a moment, her mind torn on what to do next. She should go as it would be weird if Penelope returned and Eloise was just hanging out in her flat, having used her spare key to get in. But she wanted Penelope to know she had been here so that maybe she’d look at her bloody phone and actually call her back. Eloise quickly made her decision and walked all the way through the living room and around the back of the couch to the island, finding the infamous junk drawer that Colin had once joked housed ‘everything but the kitchen sink.’
After a moment, she found a pen and some paper and scribbled her words quickly, the scratching of the pen filling the silence and oddly slowing Eloise’s heartrate down. She’d tell her she had been here to check in about last night and ask that she call her back when she could. Easy peasy. And then she’d get out of here and get to the errands she had been planning to run all along.
As she closed the pen cap and went to walk away, Eloise glanced down the other hallway towards Penelope’s bedroom. A shoe quickly caught her eye as it laid on its side in the middle of the floor. Now that’s odd Eloise had thought as she took a couple of steps towards it, trying to get a better view. As she got closer, she could see the pink of Penelope’s signature Adidas trainers clash against the gray of the carpet and Eloise’s stomach sank.
Penelope always had those dang trainers on, no matter where she was or what she was doing. It drove everyone absolutely mad (especially her mother Portia) but it was her thing and no one batted an eye anymore. So the fact that she was out of her flat but at least one of those shoes was still here was shocking. It didn’t sit right at all and Eloise knew she couldn’t leave until she knew for sure everything was okay.
‘Pen?’ Eloise called out again as she walked down the hall towards Penelope’s bedroom. She remembered the shower in the back so thought it was possible she was in there or even asleep. She picked up the trainer when she reached it and then kept walking down the hall, stepping into the bedroom.
Eloise will look back on this moment later in life as one of the most pivotal moments in her life. One learns an awful lot about themselves when unexpectedly confronted with the most horrifying and devastating images one could ever imagine. Things that, although helpful in hindsight, were not things one needed to ever know or learn about oneself. Things that you would give back in a heartbeat if it meant that you never needed to see those images again.
‘Pen!’ Eloise called out as she saw Penelope sprawled out on the floor between her bed and the bathroom. She was on her belly, her arm bent at an angle that Eloise knew wasn’t right. She ran to her, her hands shaking violently as she surveyed her surroundings for a moment. She pulled her phone from her coat pocket and dialed 999 as she rolled Penelope over on her back. Her hair hung over her face and Eloise could see it was caked with blood in places. She carefully brushed Penelope’s hair out of the way and let out a gasp just as an operator picked up the call.
‘999…what service do you need?’
‘I need an ambulance. Please. It’s my best friend. I think she might be dead.’
*****
Penelope bent over the oven as she pulled on an oven mit, grabbing the bread pan and placing it on the stove. She turned off her kitchen timer and the oven before walking back to the sink full of dishes. She was trying to tidy up after spending the last hour making her boyfriend a loaf of vegan banana bread.
Penelope was not a vegan. Not even close. But her boyfriend of 9 months, Alfie Debling, was and she did what she could to accommodate his diet when he was with her. Being a marine biologist, he traveled often for work, sometimes for weeks at a time, so it wasn’t something she always needed to follow but she knew it was important to him so she tried when he was in town. She felt it was something simple she could do to show him that she cared about him and the things that mattered to him.
They had met about a year ago in a rather odd sort of circumstances that they both thought made a rather cute story. Penelope had gotten all dressed up and went out to a local wine bar to meet a man she had met on tinder. She had been a little early so she sat at the bar with a glass of wine and scrolled her phone, trying to calm her anxiety. Dating was hard and she was trying to be optimistic but it was her third date in two weeks and nothing had gone well. They had all been too intimidated by her, something that always seemed to happen due to her success, and it was frustrating.
Alfie approached Penelope at the bar shortly before her date arrived and although he had been nice, she was there for other reasons and didn’t even think twice about him. But he had kept his eyes on her and when her date sort of blew up in her face (turns out he was a jerk who just wanted to fuck), Alfie swooped in, playing the role of the long lost friend that she hadn’t seen in years that ironically lived in the same neighborhood as her and could definitely make sure she got home okay. He followed through on their fib and walked her home and they exchanged numbers, Penelope thinking she had met a friend.
They had kept in pretty regular contact but with Alfie traveling for work, they didn’t see each other again. At least not until a random Saturday night about two months later. Penelope found herself on another tinder date at a completely different restaurant and Alfie had shown up out of the blue. He would deny it to this day but Alfie had definitely crashed her date on purpose after seeing her all dolled up on her Instagram story. He swept in at an opportune time, asked her out on their own date, and the rest was history. Penelope found the story rather romantic.
Despite feeling like Alfie was rather perfect for her, the people in her life had differing opinions about him. The two of them had first run into her mother unexpectedly and, after having lunch together, Portia had told her she absolutely loved him. But Penelope knew she loved anything that had two legs and a large bank account so her opinion really had not been all that surprising or mattered all that much. Her second family, the Bridgerton’s, weren’t so sure. Penelope had taken him to meet all of them at one point and it had gone well at first. It wasn't until later that opinions were made clear and honestly, Penelope had expected some pushback from them. Eloise hated Alfie, calling him boring and cranky, and that opinion did not change the more she was around him (which was not all that often). Colin had called him nerdy and ‘too particular’ after the 1 time he had met him. It wasn't surprising, Alfie was kind of quirky and different and not everyone's cup of tea. It was one of the reasons why she liked him.
Penelope did value the opinions of her two best friends but they had been in her life since she had started Year 1 with Eloise 18 years ago and they were more than overprotective. In fact, all of the Bridgerton’s were and she didn’t mind it really. At least most days. Her own family had given up on her years ago and honestly, the feeling had been mutual. She didn’t put herself around them unless it was absolutely necessary and she had determined at her dad’s funeral a few years ago that nothing was absolutely necessary with them. Eloise and Colin were her family. All of the Bridgerton’s were her family. And now, so was Alfie.
Overall, she felt like her relationship with Alfie was pretty solid. She loved him and he told her he loved her and it really felt like he did. He was gone a lot for work but he always reached out to her when he could and he almost always brought her back something. In fact, he had been impressed by her rather large collection of refrigerator magnets, all gifts from Colin from each place he traveled, so Alfie had taken it upon himself to start his own tradition and had brought her a book from every place he had been to since they got together. She had loved the idea and her bookcase was slowly filling up with books from all over the place. And each book he did give her felt personal, like he had taken time to select it, and that made her feel really special. It wasn’t often that Penelope felt special to anyone other than the Bridgerton’s so to have a boyfriend that treated her this way felt really good.
There was one thing about their relationship though that left her unsettled sometimes. A dark stain if you rather on a beautiful piece of fabric that you hoped wasn’t visible to anyone but yourself. She didn't like to talk about it and in fact, had not told a single soul about it, too embarrassed and full of shame to admit it to anyone.
Alfie had told Penelope after they had dated a few months that there were times he struggled with anger. He had told her his job was stressful and she knew this was very much true. Traveling for pleasure could be stressful enough but having to leave for weeks on end was more than Penelope could ever even imagine. She knew it was hard for him sometimes to leave and the transition back from being on the water for weeks to being back on land was even worse. He had told her back when they first talked about it that he had grown up in a household where anger was not managed well so he had never really learned good emotion regulation skills. Penelope had suggested at the time that maybe he get a therapist to help but he had scoffed at the idea, saying it really wasn’t that bad. It took a couple of months but Penelope soon learned just how bad his anger could get.
She didn’t remember a whole lot about that first incident but it had happened a handful of times since then and Penelope had learned not to push, especially if he was already having a bad day. With her own past and difficulty in her own relationships as she grew up, she knew she did not handle other people’s anger or conflict in general very well. So, most of the time it did not go well with Alfie, and that had meant some consequences for her. Nothing a little concealer and a long sleeved shirt couldn’t fix but consequences none the less.
Penelope wasn’t dumb enough to take the blame for these incidents. She knew she didn’t deserve to be hurt like he hurt her and she knew that there were more rational ways to manage anger and conflict. She wasn’t innocent though, she knew that as well. She had watched her parents fight constantly and she knew it might only take one person to start a fight but it took two people for it to continue. So, she had resolved herself to keep the peace as much as she could and, worst case scenario, she’d use her own skills and walk away.
Penelope placed her hands in the warm, soapy water as she searched for her sponge. She wanted to hurry and get these dishes done so she could shower and then ready herself for the day before she sliced up the banana bread and Alfie came over. She hated to admit it but the banana bread was sort of a peace offering as she knew he was not looking forward to tonight at all.
Eloise and Colin had not been big fans of Alfie’s but the rest of the family had been able to keep themselves rather neutral when it came to him. At least when they were around him, although she was sure there were many snide comments or eye rolls when they were not looking. She thought maybe Alfie could sense some of their ire about him as he had been rather open to seeing them at first but over time, his opinion had changed somewhat. Especially when it came to Eloise and Colin- the feelings seemed to be mutual all around.
Tonight they had been invited to the grand opening of Benedict’s art gallery in downtown London and although Penelope couldn’t wait to attend, Alfie was not at all excited to go. She had told him more than once that it was not a requirement for him to go and that she would be more than understanding if he would rather she go alone. He pushed back though, saying it wouldn’t be right if he didn’t go. So, he planned to grin and bear it. Penelope didn’t like the sound of that but she wasn’t going to turn down the opportunity to have all of her favorite people in a room together. Plus, she hoped that the more they all spent time together, the more they’d start to get along.
After finishing her dishes and getting them all put away, Penelope pulled out her phone to check her messages. She had a few texts from Eloise, confirming plans for tonight, as well as a couple of messages from her friend and publisher, Edwina. She sent off a few of her own texts to the both of them before she pulled up her thread with Alfie.
Penelope: Hey honey, when do you plan on heading over? It sounds like we should be there around 8.
Alfie: I was thinking by 5. I have some things to finish up in the lab this afternoon and then I figured I would head back to my flat to shower and get my suit. Does that work?
Penelope: Yes, that sounds perfect. Thank you for coming with me. I promise I will make it worth your while. 😉😊
Alfie: Oh yeah? I love it when you make things worth my while. 😏
Several hours later, Penelope and Alfie stood outside her flat, fingers laced together as they waited for their uber to arrive. He had come over after he had finished up his work for the day just as he had said he would and he very enthusiastically thanked her (twice) for the banana bread. They had eventually ordered takeout and then readied themselves for the night, laughing and joking together the entire time. By the time they slipped into the backseat of their ride, Penelope was feeling very encouraged. Alfie seemed genuinely in a good mood.
‘You look really beautiful.’ Alfie whispered in her ear as his hand reached for her thigh and squeezed. She looked up at him, her cheeks flushed as she smiled.
She appreciated the compliment as she did not dress up all that often. There really was no need to as she spent most of her days at home writing her book. She had gone back and forth about whether she should buy a new dress or not and eventually decided she would splurge on something new. An emerald green cocktail dress now clung to her body, hugging all of her curves in all the right ways. She had wanted to wear her signature pink trainers but her stylist Genevieve had said absolutely not, instead putting her in a black strappy heel. It was the first time in a long time that Penelope actually felt beautiful.
‘Thank you. You look pretty good yourself.’ She said as she reached up and straightened his tie. He smiled back at her, the tips of his ears turning red at the compliment. She loved it when he blushed.
‘So, who is all going to be at this opening then?’ He asked as he grabbed her hand, squeezing three times before he wrapped his fingers around hers.
‘Good question. It’s open to the public so I’m sure there will be a lot of people we don’t know but with it being Benedict’s opening, I’m guessing the Bridgerton's will be there and a bunch of his artsy friends.’
‘All of the Bridgerton’s?’ He asked as he let out a little cough and Penelope couldn’t decide whether or not he sounded slightly annoyed. She chose instead to drop it.
‘Well, I guess probably not Colin. I assume he’s still on his trip, I haven’t heard from him all week so I don’t really know. Edwina will be there, my publicist, I’m sure you remember her. Her sister is married to Benedict’s brother Anthony.’
‘Hmmm.’ Alfie hummed, his lips tense as he looked away from her and out the front window. She wasn’t quite sure what to make of his change in demeanor but she knew she needed to act quickly and smooth things over. She really wanted his good mood to stay as long as possible.
‘Hey, it’s okay.’ She said as she reached up and placed her fingers at his jaw, pulling his gaze back towards her. ‘We’ll drink a couple of glasses of wine, look at some art, and then we’ll go home.’
Anxiety bubbled up in her chest as she kept her eyes on him, trying to look and sound positive and hopeful. He gave her a little nod, his lips relaxing into a small smile. She had thought about it earlier today and decided if they could make it at least an hour and a half (preferably 2), she’d call it good enough and they could take off.
They arrived a short time later, Penelope grabbing ahold of his hand again as they made their way inside. They were immediately greeted by Benedict.
‘Penelope! Alfie! I’m so glad you made it.’ Benedict said as he leaned forward and kissed Penelope on the cheek.
‘We wouldn’t miss this for the world, Ben. It’s so exciting!’ Penelope replied as she felt him pull away. He reached forward, offering to shake Alfie’s hand, and after a brief hesitation, Alfie took it in greeting.
‘It’s been a long time coming.’ He said as he smiled. ‘Feel free to walk around and take a look. There is wine and appetizers all over the place. Let me know if you see anything you like enough to buy.’
Penelope watched as he winked and then walked away, already greeting another guest. They were immediately approached by a waiter in a fancy suit, carrying glasses of wine on a tray. They each took a glass and Penelope took a sip, lowering it just in time to see Eloise coming their way.
‘Pen!’ Eloise cried out as she pulled Penelope into a small hug. ‘I’m glad you came. Hey Alfie.’
Penelope watched as Alfie nodded at her before turning his head to take in some of the guests around him. She smiled at Eloise, appreciating the effort given by both. It felt encouraging.
‘The place looks great.’ Penelope commented as her eyes looked past her friend and swept the room. ‘Did you all have to help him set up?’
‘Of course, we’ve been here almost all week. I don’t know how many times we had to switch the fucking order of things. Hundreds probably. And I’m pretty positive what he decided on is literally what we started out with. Men.’ She huffed out as she rolled her eyes and took a swig of her wine. ‘Oh hey, I see Phillip, I should go grab him. Are you guys going to stay a while?’
‘Yeah, we’ll be here a little while. Go grab him and we’ll catch you later.’ Penelope replied as she reached for Alfie, pulling his attention back to her. Eloise gave them both a quick nod and then walked off into the crowd.
The two of them spent the next hour making their way through the gallery, laughing with each other, people watching, and drinking more wine than they probably should have. They talked with each Bridgerton as they ran into them and as each minute ticked by, Penelope felt more and more relaxed. This is exactly what she had wanted in life, her boyfriend and her family in the same space without drama or awkwardness. It felt great.
But she found that her good feelings were short-lived. At one point, Eloise made her way over to them, her phone in hand, and pulled Penelope from Alfie’s arms. Penelope didn’t realize what she was doing until her phone was in front of her and a familiar face looked back at her.
‘Hey Pen!’ Colin called out as he gave her a big smile and waved. Penelope looked at him wide eyed for a few seconds, in shock at what she was seeing before she came to and grabbed the phone from Eloise.
‘Oh my god, Colin.’ Penelope called out as she handed her wine glass to Alfie and started to walk away, thinking it would be quieter towards the front of the gallery. ‘I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight. What are you doing? Where are you at?’
‘Not doing much, just finishing up some pictures this afternoon. I’m in Costa Rica this week. Well, San José technically. I’m writing a piece on some of the tourist spots around here so I was out trying some of the food today and talking with some of the locals to hopefully get some inside information.’
‘That is really great, Colin.’ She replied as she gave him a big smile. She had always been fascinated with his work and the places he ended up, slightly envious of his ability to just up and leave to another country whenever he wanted to. Plus, he was a writer, and reading his stuff had always brought a warmth to her chest she really didn’t feel with anything else. She didn’t personally know many writers so to have her best friend also be a built in writing buddy felt huge. She was lucky.
‘Sorry I haven’t talked to you all week, reception has been really shitty. But I wanted to at least acknowledge Benedict’s big night beings I couldn’t be there in person.’ He said as he gave her a weak smile, almost looking a little sad. She knew he hated to miss big family moments like this one.
‘I bet he appreciates that a lot, Colin. The place looks great and there are so many people here. The turnout is crazy.’ She told him as she moved her eyes away from the screen for a short second to take it all of her surroundings again. It was then that she noticed Alfie standing a short distance from her, glaring at her and clearly pissed. Her stomach sank.
‘I wish I was there to see it. To see you all.’ He said as she looked back at him, noticing the change in his voice. ‘You look really beautiful, Pen.’
‘What the fuck??’ She heard Alfie call out as her eyes darted back to him. His face had turned red, his jaw set tight, as she could see his chest rise and fall in much quicker but deeper breaths. She knew this look and fuck, it wasn’t good.
‘Is everything okay?’ Penelope heard Colin ask but she kept her eyes on Alfie. He was avoiding her gaze now but she could tell he was seething mad so she willed him to look at her. She was drawn back to Colin only when she heard him repeat her name again.
‘Ye-yeah, it's nothing.’ She replied, moving back and forth between Colin’s face and Alfie’s. She tried to give Colin a reassuring smile but could tell it wasn’t doing anything to calm his concern. He had known her for so long, he could read any look she gave him. Eloise too. It had always given her some comfort, knowing that her best friends knew her this well but in times like this, when she knew her face betrayed her, it created more drama than was necessary.
‘Pen…’
Penelope walked back towards Eloise, understanding that he probably wasn’t going to let this go. This was not the problem she needed to deal with right now though. She would give Eloise her phone back and she’d grab Alfie and they would go talk. She wasn’t sure what was wrong but she knew she needed to do something to make it better.
‘It’s fine.’ She said, giving him a reassuringly fake smile. ‘I’ll hand you back to Eloise so you can talk to the rest of your family. I’ll call you. Or you call me!’
She handed Eloise her phone as she heard him call her name again. But her eyes were already scanning the room, looking for Alfie. Her gut was already churning, full of shame and regret. She had known it was a bad idea to bring him and yet, she didn’t push it and now exactly what she didn’t want to happen had happened.
Penelope looked but quickly realized that Alfie was no longer inside so she made her way outside. It took her a moment but she was able to locate him about a half a block up, waiting for what she assumed was an Uber. She approached slowly, nervous about what version of him she was going to find once she reached him.
‘Hey.’ She said quietly as she came up beside him. She reached out and tried to rub his arm but he quickly pulled away from her, turning his back towards her.
‘You really need to leave me alone Penelope.’ He insisted, his voice rough and angry. But she was confused, not even sure what it was that she had done, and she didn’t want to let it go. She knew it wouldn’t help to just walk away.
‘Alfie, I don’t even know what happened. Can you tell me what happened?’
She heard him let out a small chuckle as he shook his head, his back still turned to her. She felt her own level of annoyance begin to rise in her chest but she knew it wouldn’t help the situation so she swallowed hard, trying to stuff it down. She needed to stay cool.
‘What? I don’t get it?’ She replied.
‘Yes, I’m very aware of that.’ He said as he pulled his phone out. She could see the Uber app opened up on his phone.
‘Can we talk about it at least, before you leave? Or can we just go back to my flat and talk?’ She pleaded with him as she reached for him again. ‘Please. I don’t want you to leave upset.’
‘Penelope…’ Alfie said and she could hear the warning in his voice. She was trying not to push but she knew it would be better for the both of them to talk it out. She didn’t want him to go home with this unresolved. Unresolved meant a sleepless night, probably for the both of them, and awkward and tough days ahead. And she knew he was traveling again in a few days. If they couldn't resolve it before he left, she didn't know how she would survive it.
‘Please, Alfie. I love you and I want to make this better.’ She pleaded.
She heard him let out a big sigh as he looked down at his phone. She stepped closer and watched him change their destination. She whispered out a thank you as she rubbed her hand up and down his back.
The ride back to her flat was silent, only occasionally interrupted by vibrations coming from her phone. There had been multiple calls and texts but she didn’t dare take a look as each time she heard one, she could feel him tense next to her. The tension was confusing, still so unclear about what had happened, but the more her phone vibrated, the more guilt grew in her chest. Guilt for not answering, knowing full well Eloise was wondering where she was, and guilt for whatever turmoil it was clearly creating for her boyfriend.
They silently made their way up to her flat. She let them in and walked down her hallway, throwing her handbag and keys on her kitchen island before making her way back to her bedroom. She purposely took some time to get changed and to take off her makeup, hoping the space would help diffuse the situation some. They needed to talk clearly but she was very familiar with this dynamic and they needed some time so things did not escalate any further tonight. Escalation was scary for them sometimes and she did not need that.
Penelope played through the night in her head a couple of times as she cleaned her face and just couldn't wrap her mind around what had gone wrong. They had been having a good time. Yes, they were with the Bridgerton's but they had spent most of the night together and none of the interactions had been bad at all. Even Eloise, the one Bridgerton who probably irritated Alfie the most, had been good. Penelope had been so encouraged by how well the night had been going and it just made her sad that it had ended so badly without any obvious reason.
'Penelope.' Alfie called out, causing her to jump slightly as she sat at her vanity. She got up and made her way to him, pulling on her favorite t-shirt as she walked and then grabbing her trainers at the foot of her bed. When she reached her living room, she could see that he had changed out of his suit and had gathered all of his stuff. His shoes were on and he was clearly on the verge of leaving.
'I'm going to head out. It's better if I just go home.' He said as he shifted his suit in his arms while he pulled out his phone. She could tell he was about to call a ride and her stomach sank.
'I think we really need to talk about this Alfie, I don't understand what happened.' She pleaded as she started to walk towards him. Penelope could feel anxiety and adrenaline start to bubble in her chest, her limbs getting that internal shaking feeling she often felt when she knew a confrontation was about to happen. She had no choice but to ignore it. They needed to resolve this and the sooner they did, the better.
Alfie looked down at his hands and shook his head. She could tell he was frustrated and she hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was just better if she let him go. She didn't want to though. She was trying to make this relationship work and in order to do that, they had to somehow get through these moments. They had to communicate and get through whatever was going on between him and the most important people in her life.
'I just don't know how to be with you if those people are going to be in your life.' He said with a sigh as he looked up at her. His face was red but sad and it made her stomach churn.
'What people?'
'Don't play stupid, Penelope. You know exactly who I'm talking about.' He replied and she winced at his words. She wasn't playing stupid, she genuinely did not understand at all what he was going on about.
'I'm not playing stupid, Alfie. I don't understand what happened tonight. Everything was fine. We were fine. And then all the sudden you're upset and you're leaving. I don't get it.' She said as she threw her hands up in frustration.
'We weren't fine. We're never just going to be fine when it comes to them.'
'Then why the fuck did you insist on coming with? I told you I didn't expect you to come and yet, YOU made the choice to be there. And now you're going to be mad at me for it?' She replied, her own level of anger increasing at a rapid rate. He had made the choice and it wasn’t fair that he was turning it back on her. She had been worried about this and she told him that and yet, he insisted it would be fine.
'I was trying to make an effort, alright?' He replied as he tossed his suit on her couch. 'I thought maybe I was being crazy or got something wrong so I was trying. But it was exactly the same as it always is.'
'And how is that exactly? Cause I thought everyone was pretty respectful. Fuck, we hardly even interacted with any of them!'
'I can't do this.' He said as he shook his head, reaching for his suit again.
'DO WHAT?' She screamed.
'Penelope, if you and I are going to be in a relationship, they cannot be in our lives. Simple as that. You need to be done with them, with all of them.' He said calmly, causing her body to fill with irritation. How could he say this shit calmly? Penelope felt her mouth open but no words came out, her brain short circuiting for a moment. She wasn't even sure if she heard him right. He was making her choose?
'I…I don't...' She tried to speak, her words coming out stuttered. She willed her brain to catch up but she felt almost frozen.
'Those people aren't good for you. Aren't good for us!' He spoke, trying to explain his stance. 'They have you at their beck and call all the time. It's ridiculous that you can't see it, Penelope. Wake up!'
She could feel her eyes growing wide in shock and confusion. She willed herself to calm down though, taking a breath as she tried to pull her thoughts together. Were the Bridgerton's really not good for her? Did they really have her at their beck and call? Her almost immediate gut instinct was to defend them. They were her family and she knew they loved her just as much as she loved them. There was no way they weren’t good for her, they had been there for her for the last 18 years.
'And these so-called best friends of yours.' He kept going, using air quotes as he spoke to clearly minimize the relationships she had with Eloise and Colin. 'You've got one clearly in love with you and...'
'WHAT?' Penelope yelled in shock, interrupting him. He didn't seem to mind though, his voice steady as he continued, completely ignoring her.
'And the other? She's either so fucking stupid she's oblivious or she knows and she's trying to sabotage our relationship.'
'Don't talk about Eloise that way.' She rattled off, rage building in her body and finally forcing her caught words up and out of her throat. She tried to take a centering breath, hoping it would keep her on track but she could feel her defenses were way up. She couldn’t believe where this conversation was headed.
'She clearly has no respect for me and no respect for our relationship. Neither of them do actually. It's gross and it's fucked up and I am not going to tolerate it anymore.' He said as he looked at her pointedly.
Penelope was so flabbergasted that she just stared at him for a moment. Was he talking about Colin? There was no way Colin was in love with her. Not a chance in hell. And Eloise? Penelope wouldn't put it past her to try and break her and Alfie up but there was no way she was trying to 'sabotage' their relationship. Especially with Colin. There was just no way. She took another breath, trying to calm the anger and confusion inside of her. He was making no sense and was clearly confused himself.
'Alfie, I don't know where you got these ideas but there is absolutely no way any of them are true.' She said after a moment, shaking her head as she spoke.
'He literally said you look beautiful right in front of me! Right in front of your boyfriend!’
'Colin always says shit like that, it's just his personality. He flirts with everybody!' She cried out, trying to defend him. It was the truth. Colin was insanely sweet and charming all of the time but it wasn't anything specifically directed at her. He treated her the same way he treated everyone else. They were best friends- they had been for most of her life and there had never been any indication that they would ever be any more than that. Why would there be?
Alfie let out a small chuckle as he rolled his eyes at her, the gesture making her feel small and stupid. He had a tendency to do this at times and she hated it.
'If you want to live in a fantasy land then I guess that's fine but I'll be living over here in reality, Penelope. And in this reality, we aren't going to be around people that are actively trying to sabotage our relationship. I won't do it, it's fucked up.'
'So, you expect me to just choose between the two of you?' She said as she looked back at him. It was insane but her mind flashed back briefly to a relationship book she had read last year after a frustrating couple of months of bad dating. She didn’t remember a lot of what the book said but she knew it had listed giving ultimatums as a huge toxic trait and here her boyfriend was, trying to do just that.
'No, I expect you to choose your boyfriend of 9 months. I expect you to respect my wishes and not see them anymore. It's very simple, Penelope.' He replied and an unfamiliar sound passed her lips, something between a gasp and a sob. He was going to make her choose and she had no idea how she would ever make a choice like that. She couldn’t even picture her life without the Bridgerton’s. Without Eloise and Colin. It wasn’t even a life she wanted to imagine. But to give up her relationship completely? One that she was fairly happy with and that she had fought for? That was painful too. She loved him.
'Simple? Are you insane? There is nothing simple about that at all, Alfie!' She shot back.
'You think I'm insane?' He yelled back and she watched his face redden in anger. Her stomach was in knots but it was true. He was insane. This whole situation was insane.
'Clearly. These things that you think are happening or have happened are not even real, Alfie. You're creating situations in your head that fit your narrative and that does not make them reality.'
'Penelope. Come on.' She heard him groan but she looked away, shaking her head in frustration. Pure exhaustion started to set in and she wasn’t sure how much longer she could do this. Going back and forth seemed to be a waste at this point and it was clear he wasn’t going to listen to her tonight. She desperately wanted a reprieve from this so they could close out their night on semi-good terms. At least for now.
'No Alfie, you come on. You're being ridiculous. Let's just turn a movie on or something and take a break from all of this. It's clear we aren't going to get anywhere tonight. We can talk again tomorrow if you want to.'
'I'm being ridiculous?' He said as he scoffed and it forced her to wince. She probably shouldn’t have used that word. 'I'm not being ridiculous, Penelope, and I'm not going to fucking sit here and pretend like tonight didn't happen and this is not an issue.'
'Well, I refuse to sit here and talk about something that isn't real, Alfie.' She replied as she turned to walk out of the room, towards her bedroom. She had reached her breaking point and if he was unwilling to let it go for now, she would force it. This wasn’t good for her and it wasn’t good for their relationship to be going back and forth like this.
'We're not done talking about this! Get the fuck back here!' She heard him call out and her breaking point quickly became her boiling point. She could not believe the audacity of this man. She was done.
'Well, I'm done talking about it so you can just get the fuck out.' Penelope yelled back as she walked into her bedroom. Her stomach instantly sank as she knew what she had said wasn't good but she was fucking done arguing with him about it. They had fought plenty over the last 9 months so she knew him. She knew this was never going to get resolved if they continued to go back and forth. They needed a break so things didn’t escalate.
But she was too late.
Suddenly, Penelope heard loud shuffling behind her and her heart began to pound wildly as a chill made its way up her spine. She knew that sound. He was coming. She tried to move faster, hoping to get into her bathroom so she could lock the door, but within seconds, Alfie was there and had a hold of her arm. Pain instantly shot through her body as her vision blurred and her stomach churned. She was going to be sick. Penelope tried to scream, pulling herself away but all she could feel was tightness. She tried desperately to fight back but Alfie was too strong. Obscenities filled her ears as more pain and tightness filled her body and then she was on the ground. Rough carpet scratched across her cheek as she tried to move before a heavy weight fell on her back and everything went dark.