Chapter Text
Spock stood staring at the comm -his hand still forming the ta'al- long after his father’s face and voice disappeared. He knew the path that was about to be forged for him was the logical one. Even more, he was certain his father’s demands came directly from his concern. Sarek thought he was saving his son's life, and the probability that he was right increased every day.
He had hoped, however illogical that may be, that his hybrid blood, the very nature he had struggled with for so long, would spare him this -the shame and indignity of his people.
But it was not to be. Kaiidth. His counterpart had informed him and his father months ago that he had experienced pon farr no differently that any of his peers, even if his first Time came upon him slightly later in life.
From that moment he had known that eventually he would need to find a mate, and so had his father. The Ambassador had made it his mission to find his son a mate between what remained of his people. Spock had resisted, claiming it would be many years before that became a necessity, hoping again that he could at least finish the five-year mission before he had to leave everything he had fought for and settle in the colony with a mate.
Again, it was not to be. His father had just informed him there had been now 27 cases of unbonded males succumbing to their time years ahead of what was expected and while most of them had managed to find a mate and survive, Sarek was reasonably worried about his son, the only one of his people in a starship light years away from New Vulcan. He had asked if Spock had made any plans to bond should his time arrive -perhaps wondering about his son’s brief relationship with Lieutenant Uhura- and Spock had not lied. Even if there was in fact someone he wished to bond to, the chances of that happening were so low that he refused to contemplate them any longer.
His father’s request was reasonable. Spock was to resign his commission in two months’ time, when the Enterprise’s upcoming missions would put her as close as it would be to the colony in the next year. Meanwhile Sarek would find him a mate, a female if at all possible (the need to repopulate never far from any Vulcan’s mind) but a male most likely (someone who lost his bondmate in Old Vulcan or someone like him, who thought they had years before their Time).
He knew he could refuse -he had gone against his father’s plans for him before. But it would only postpone the inevitable, and put him (and potentially anyone aboard the Enterprise) in danger.
But to leave the Enterprise, to leave Jim…
Kaiidth.
Jim put his PADD aside with a sigh and then he had to roll his eyes at his teenage-with-a-crush attitude. Spock had canceled their nightly chess game. Again. This time he hadn´t even bothered to cite a lab experiment as an excuse. He had just said he ‘wouldn’t be available’. This was the fourth night in a row. Not only that, but it was achingly obvious that he was avoiding Jim. He had stopped joining him for lunch, he had spent almost all their shared shifts that week in the labs, and he hadn’t sought him out later in his quarters to ‘inform him of his progress’ (or rather, as Jim had thought, to talk about their day).
He bit his lip nervously as he remembered Spock’s hasty retreat as Jim had tried to catch up to him at the end of Alpha shift today. Or at lunch yesterday when he had left for the labs, his meal untouched, as soon as Jim and Bones had joined him.
-Stop moping already, it’s embarrassing -Bones had said gruffly.
-I’m not! -he had said indignantly.
Bones didn’t look impressed.
-Yes you are, you are also pouting.
He kind of was, but…
-Something is going on with him, Bones. He is avoiding me!
The doctor let out a huff of irritation and turned his attention back to his meal.
-He probably has committed the full capacity of that computer he has as a brain to some all-important experiment and has decided things like eating or resting -or your kindergarten-level dating- can wait until it’s done.
My fork stopped halfway to my mouth.
-W-we ar-aren´t- he could feel himself blushing as he stammered like a fool.
He definitively had Bones’ full attention now.
-Come on, Jim. One would think we were past this by now.
-I’m serious!
Bones closed his eyes and whispered -I can’t believe you – and then he was giving Jim a half-glaring half-kind look- Then maybe I can. You are no better than the hobgoblin dealing with emotional shit, but he has a better excuse, being a Vulcan and all.
Jim gave him an imploring look and Bones sighed.
-OK, you mean to tell me there is nothing going on between the two of you?
-We are just friends!
-Are you sure? -he said not unkindly and Jim had to look away. But he had never been able to lie to Bones, and if someone had to know how hopelessly in love he was with his XO, there was no one better than his best friend.
-Aha! I knew it!
-He doesn’t see me like that -he said, gaze fixed on the table- and he doesn’t know that I do, if he knew it would make him uncomfortable and we wouldn’t be friends anymore -ha glared defiantly at his friend- and yes, I realize I sound like a mooning teenager.
Bones made a valiant effort not to laugh.
-Jim, there is no one on this ship he lets get as close to him as he does you. I’m pretty sure he didn’t spend half as much time with Nyota when they were dating as he does with you on any given week. That’s why I’m not the only one that thinks there’s something between you two. You stopped flirting with every man, woman or alien that crosses your way. And you no longer spend your off-duty time in the rec room. Even I have barely seen you this last few months– he muttered angrily to his plate.
-That’s because he has to Bones, he is my First Officer. Wait. Are you jealous?
-Don’t be ridiculous!
Jim gave Bones his best raised-eyebrows look (nowhere near as impressive as Spock’s) and then he had to laugh when his friend blushed slightly.
-Could it be that you have been missing me Bones?
-It’s been a while since you last came to pester me to Sick Bay, or came to drink my reserves away after a shift -he conceded somewhat embarrassed-. And you hadn’t said a word to me about you and him -he added more seriously.
-I’m sorry. I guess I just wanted to believe it would go away if I didn’t talk about it.
-Well, you are shit out of luck kiddo. That’s not how it works. Anyway, you should talk to him.
-Yeah, right. You can’t possible tell me I should what? Confess my feelings to him? I don’t want him to know. He would logically and politely tell me to fuck off, our friendship would be gone, and our professional relationship would be awkward.
Bones gave him an eye roll.
-I can’t believe I’m doing this -he muttered- Don’t be so dramatic. And I told you, he is different around you.
-How?
-I don’t know! I don’t make it my job to psychoanalyze the green blooded computer like you do, he is just... different with you. Less stand-offish, less cold, less robot like. I'm not saying he spends his time making puppy eyes at you like you do...
-Hey!
-...but he looks at you like he finds you fascinating- he spat the word out like it tasted bad.
Jim pushed his plate away, appetite gone.
-I'm sure it's just because I'm his friend, maybe the first he's ever had. Or because of my irritating illogicalness, more likely.
-That's not a word.
-Exactly.
-Look, Jim -he said kindly-. I won’t pretend to understand what you see in him. And that’s not because I don’t respect him or even like him -he added at Jim’s frown- and God help you if you ever repeat that. But you went from being Jim Tomcat Kirk to behaving like a lovesick teen around Spock of all people. It’s kinda weird. All I’m saying is, I think he feels something for you (and whatever they say, you and I know the ‘Vulcans do not feel’ thing is bullshit). Whether it’s what you want him to feel or not, and whether he can admit it or not, you owe it to yourself and to him to find out. And if things don’t go like you want… well, I have a couple bottles of Saurian Brandy. And even then, he is your friend. Give him more credit than to think he’ll tell you to ‘fuck off’ or whatever the Vulcan equivalent is. It might be awkward, but if you truly are friends that won’t change. And there’s nobody more professional than the hobgoblin -and with that he stood and picked up his tray to leave -. Just think about it, ok?