Chapter Text
Seokjin can’t believe his eyes. He blinks, then blinks again, harder.
It’s the same smile beaming back at him no matter how hard he tries to dispel the illusion.
“Hi, hyung!” Jeon Jeongguk happily chirps, the same voice, the same big eyes, the same bunny smile, although there are two lip rings through the bottom now.
Seokjin points aggressively. “What are you doing here?” he asks, as if the convention center isn’t full of thousands of random people, as if he hasn’t met hundreds just that day.
“Do you know RM?” Jeongguk asks, stepping up closer to him. For a moment, Seokjin thinks he’s about to take his hand like he did when they were kids and swing them all a while Seokjin can hardly remain standing for all the alpha pheromones wafting in his general direction suddenly, a startling amount which seem to come from his dongsaeng who he hasn’t seen in years and years. “I’m here to follow him around and record for press releases, but he’s on a break right now. He and his partner have a complicated but ironclad schedule for baby rearing, so right now he’s either skin-to-skin napping or skin-to-skin smothering the baby’s back into Taehyung while Taehyung nurses. It’s hard to say which it would be at this time. Honestly, they don’t look that different to me.”
He looks at his watch. This boy! Mature enough to be an alpha! To wear a watch! To talk about babies! What!
“But what are you doing here?” Seokjin repeats, outraged, offended, and disbelieving that someone he knew who ate dirt mixed with sugar when he was five-years-old could now suddenly be an alpha and be so hot.
“Ugh, working?” Jeongguk’s eyebrows pinch. “I work for RM. He’s my hyung, too. Well, actually, I was friends with his partner before they ever met, so maybe I’m more so Taehyung’s friend, but I think Namjoon would be offended if I said that. We’re friends. And employer-employee. But really, I’ve worked at cons like this before. I just never knew Worldwide Handsome was Kim Seokjin-”
“Shhhhh!” Seokjin cuts him off with a hand and a verbal chastising. “How dare you unveil my secrets!”
Jeongguk licks his palm. Seokjin screeches, and the few staff members allowed early into his room for the meet and greet glance over nervously, perhaps because it may or may not look like he kidnapped someone when he dragged a stumbling Jeon Jeongguk into the room and slammed the door behind them.
“I mean.” Jeongguk leans in with a conspiratorial whisper. “You show your face in public, hyung. I don’t know how secret it can be.”
“How dare you! This wig perfectly conceals my identity!” he hisses, pointing at the blonde monstrosity that Yoongi jokingly offered before his first public appearance when Seokjin was waist high into a meltdown and ready to clutch onto any lifesaver thrown his way.
It’s part of his brand now.
One of Seokjin’s wrist remains held in Jeongguk’s hand. A hot, sweaty alpha hand. He might as well brand him for how scalding hot his touch is! His mind races with the knowledge that the kid that used to chase him around the neighborhood, darting behind trees and fences and terrorizing some of the older generation with jumpscares as he tried to increasingly surprise Seokjin with his amazing hiding spots, is now all this.
Tall. Broad. Stylishly long haired with piercings and tattoos and did he mention buff? Seokjin feels a little faint looking at Jeongguk’s pecs. He looks up at his face.
Sweet bunny.
He looks back down at the pecs.
X-rated pornography.
Seokjin looks up at his face.
Jeongguk, with the same smile on his face, pulls Seokjin’s hand up to his chest to help him cop a feel. With a squawk, Seokjin slaps a titty and jumps back.
Dear god, did his fingers graze a nipple piercing?
“What happened to you?!” Seokjin demands. “Why do you look like this?”
Jeongguk giggles. He actually giggles looking like that. “I’m also a special kind of freelance performer,” he winks.
“What!”
“Hyung, shhhh!” Jeongguk takes both of his hands to drag him further into the corner, a jubilant feeling of ease and familiarity between them when they can have this, hunched shoulders and just the two of them, the world behind them. It is tangible in the way Jeongguk touches him - no hesitation, just a greedy kid at heart still. “I’m joking.”
Seokjin sniffs. “You better be. I know your mother! Or, my mother knows your mother. Which is the same thing!”
Jeongguk drops his smile, face so serious that even Seokjin stands up straighter. “Are you saying you don’t support the hardworking livelihoods of your local strip artists?” he says in a way that lets Seokjin know there is only one correct answer.
“Of course I support them!” Seokjin guffaws. “Maybe, not always in person, but mentally I support them!”
The bunny smiles comes back out. “That’s what counts!” Jeongguk says happily. “Hyung!”
Seokjin jumps, and all it does is make Jeongguk step closer to him. Here, Seokjin not only smells how potent his scent is, oversteeped black tea, but he notices the bump on his neck, his black tee low enough around his neck that it stands out above his collarbone.
“Would it be alright if I stayed for your panel to take some photos?” he asks, deploying what Seokjin thinks are larger eyes than a moment ago.
“Ah-”
“It’s just that-” Jeongguk puts a hand on the wall over Seokjin’s shoulder, effectively boxing in him, leaning in with his buff body and potent scent.
Holy shit!
This is exactly what Seokjin might write in one of his stories!
“Hyung is so pretty.” Jeongguk grins wolfishly, something between smoldering and cute. Seokjin is too stunned to duck his face and look away. “You really would make an ideal model.”
“Ah-”
“I’ll send you the photos. You can use them however you want, or I can post them from the day and tag you next to the other authors I’ve been following.”
“You know other authors?” Seokjin jokes, voice raspy from how dry it is. Jeongguk laughs, not a giggle, but a laugh.
“Funny, hyung. I always liked that you were funny.” When he tilts his head, Seokjin feels imminent cardiac arrest oncoming, heart beating so fast he feels faint.
“I-” He gasps weakly. “You-”
“Hyung, are you alright?” Hoseok asks, loudly and obviously over Jeongguk’s shoulder, here to clearly save him, but when Jeongguk backs away, Seokjin finds himself ready to enact every other scene from every other harlequin before him by fainting into the alpha’s arms.
He restrains himself.
Barely.
Seokjin shakes his head. What is he thinking? “Seokie, come meet my dongsaeng, Jeongguk.”
Jeongguk bows his head at Hoseok, who despite the heart shaped smile and heart shaped hair moment on his forehead, will absolutely gut a man if he has to. “We grew up together in the same neighborhood,” Seokjin explains, because Hoseok will interrogate every detail out of him under the guise of “business” later if he doesn’t disclose any information.
“Oh?” Hoseok turns back to Jeongguk, who waves his badge at him, the red one for specially invited guests and staffers to navigate behind scenes.
“I’m here as a photographer for the weekend.”
“Oh! Small world, eh?”
“You’re telling me!” Jeongguk happily prattles along to Hoseok as he gestures for him to take a seat at the front as his manager ushers him away. Outside the double doors, the ramble of fans waiting to be seated crescendoes in volume. “Who would have thought the next time I ran into my childhood crush would be the same day I realized he was the bestselling romance author of the century!”
Hoseok whips around from halfway across the room to lock eyes with him, right on time to witness Seokjin’s combustion on the spot, rapiding motioning for him to exit the stage area so he can enter after everyone is seated. For whatever reason, Seokjin was scheduled for book signings before his panel, so in between dodging personal questions or overly high praise, Seokjin was already flustered before Jeongguk’s sudden reappearance in his life.
Now his brain might be leaking out from between his ears, and he has to answer more fan questions in front of cameras! Carefully! With poise and tact, lest he give away something and the lawyers come for him!
“Do you want me to have him removed?” Yoongi asks, the quieter of his managing duo, as he gently helps Seokjin offstage. Suddenly, his feet don’t work. Childhood crush! That’s what he just heard!
“Yah, are you taking on the role of my bodyguard too?” he manages to mumble, but it sounds and feels like mush.
Yoongi watches him twist some of the rings on his fingers while waiting for the sign that he should go on stage. “He’s making you nervous. Extra nervous,” he concedes with a small shrug, because Seokjin will never not be nervous about standing in front of hundreds of readers while representation from his publisher listens for any potential screw-ups in what he’s allowed to say or not say.
“No.” Seokjin pats Yoongi’s hand. It’s awkward, even for them. Yoongi frowns. “Leave him be. I -”
“Like him?” Yoongi suggests with a smirk.
“I don’t know him anymore! And I have to go work! Stop it!” Seokjin gently slaps at the hand he just pat, puffing out his peeks and turning around in a nervous circle while he waits.
There is no denying how flustered he feels, and Seokjin gets a lot of offers.
Over the years, Hoseok and Yoongi have watched Seokjin gain more and more ease by which he can circumvent bold fans or even the occasional random person on the street. Fans are easier to deal with - they want to shoot their shot, but they tend to be respectful of a gentle reminder of any boundary he puts out. It’s the strangers, usually alphas, who pose more of an issue, more likely to push past a refusal.
Never once has Seokjin entertained a single one of them. He never wanted to. It was enough to conjure up romance in the comfort of his own home, just him, his computer, and an imagination that was sure to best the real thing. He hasn’t been on a date in ten years, and he can’t say that the idea excites him anymore. His experience with dating were people who talked over him without asking a single question, or people who displayed such aggressive sexual advances that it scared him.
At the time, Seokjin had another omega friend he confided in about how they made him feel, and it was the last time he told anyone something like that.
That doesn’t mean Seokjin doesn’t like to look, and Jeongguk is - is -
“Handsome?” a fan gently prods him for the answer she’s hoping for, standing behind a mic held by the MC.
Worldwide Handsome wasn’t even the pseudonym he chose. It was simply the nickname he earned after he debuted with three books in one year well on the way to promoting himself back in the day. Now, fans call him Handsome and it isn’t just an attribute, he has to respond to it. Gets to respond to it. It really depends on the day how he feels about it.
“Please call me princess!” he replies with a wink, chin propped up between his first two fingers. It makes the fans giggle, a reminder that while he may be a male omega, he has preferences too. It makes the crowd laugh every time, a buoyant noise that puts him at ease until he notices one person not laughing.
Jeongguk watches him, wide eyed behind his bulky professional camera, with a soft smile on his face. It’s the earnestness of it that catches his attention; it is a look that tells him Jeongguk wouldn’t need to be told twice.
Why didn’t he tell Yoongi to at least move him out of the front row! How is he meant to concentrate with those earnest eyes and that bunny smile taking up the entire room?
Also!
What was this woman’s question?
Over the years, Seokjin mastered the art of deflection. It’s easy to side step a question he can’t or doesn’t want to answer, and those same skills apply to times like this when he’s distracted and has no answer because he isn’t sure what he is being asked. Usually, it’s because he doesn’t quite follow the logic of said question, and less so because he straight up wasn’t paying attention.
He is a professional! He swears it!
The clicking noise of a shutter (on a digital camera! Who made that a thing?) alerts him to the fact he’s sitting there waving his fists around about seemingly nothing in a room full of fans. He smiles, blows a kiss, and the crowd erupts into applause and more giggling. Being an omega was certainly not a surprise in his genre, but being a male omega writer meant he had plenty of fans who were interested in part because of his looks.
“Hey, princess,” Jeongguk says to him with a wink when the panel is over, after Seokjin nodded when Hoseok asked if Jeongguk should be allowed to accompany him back to the green room.
Immediate regret!
“I - you -” Seokjin tugs at the collar of his top, no doubt as red as he’ll get - which is redder than the innermost workings of the sun.
“That’s what you said you like to be called, right?” Jeongguk smiles so wide he has to tilt his head. It’s so easy to see the boyish charm that remains in his features; he hardly looks any different from the kid Seokjin knew, and yet, they might as well be entirely different species.
“My fans can call me that!” he protests. It’s a lie.
Seokjin desperately wants Jeongguk to call him princess again.
“Who’s to say I can’t be a fan?” Jeongguk teases. “What do I have here, I wonder?” From the waistband of his pants, the alpha procures Seokjin’s most recent paperback.
“Where did you get that?” Seokjin yells, loud enough that Yoongi looks around nervously, but in the back, there’s only trade people about. The marketing guy from his publisher looks positively bored scrolling through his phone. Without a mic, Seokjin is of little importance to him.
“So interesting how secretive you are.” Jeongguk flips through the book to the back where there is a black and white photo of Seokjin, even if it’s the kind of photo that it would be easy to deny plausibility if someone recognized him when he didn’t want to be recognized, armed with heart shaped sunglasses and a pout the size of a fist, not to mention the chunky blonde wig.
His publisher didn’t think it was a particularly professional looking author’s bio photo, but fortunately for Seokjin, there was no clause in his contract about photographic material at that time.
“I can’t wait to read it,” Jeongguk teases, scrunching his nose and cheeks up, as if to highlight the dichotomy between his cute face and his ridiculous body. Seokjin looks up and down between the two.
He sees the pecs when they twitch under Jeongguk’s shirt.
The clap of his hands to his eyes echoes in even this wide room.
Jeongguk laughs boisterously, hand gently pulling on Seokjin’s fingers. “You’re just as shy now as you were back then. Wow.” His voice is softer now, but he stands much closer. Seokjin dares to look up at his lips, at the familiar mole under his lip and the unfamiliar lip rings nestled close by.
“You don’t look as if you’ve changed a bit.” He’s so close to him, Seokjin feels the warmth of his breath, detects a bit of spiciness as if from spearmint gum, and it combines with the alpha’s natural scent to make him lightheaded.
“And you -” Changed too much, Seokjin thinks.
“What do you say? Can I get your autograph?” Jeongguk flips the pages so they turn in reverse, back to the beginning. Too stunned to do anything, he gently pushes the book into Seokjin’s hands. “Maybe I can get a current number?”
If the publishing agent could see him now.
Well, he could, if he cared to look up, but Seokjin takes the offered sharpie and writes down his phone number before anyone sees, snapping the book closed quickly and pushing it into Jeongguk’s chest.
Wow.
His chest.
Many of Seokjin’s novels have shirtless men on the cover, but Seokjin has never wanted to see a naked chest more in his life than right now. Does he have tattoos there too?
He swallows down excess saliva at the thought.
What is wrong with him! Seokjin slaps his cheeks. This is the same little boy who ate too much birthday cake and had to ride piggyback all the way home, clutching Seokjin’s hand, because he got sick on himself at school.
“I need you to know.” Seokjin breathes out deeply. “I don’t - do this. Usually. I’m not - usually interested.” How to explain?
Jeongguk just grins. “Just two old friends catching up.” Seokjin nervously looks over at Hoseok and Yoongi, both quick to turn their heads to stare ardently at the wall after they’re caught. He shuffles his feet because he can hardly stand still, but he wants to stay near Jeongguk, so he shuffles them back. The sudden sight of him makes the thought of his dongsaeng just as suddenly parting tug at something Seokjin would rather not name.
“Since we’re in the same place right now, how do you feel about meeting up tonight? We can grab a drink-”
“I don’t drink.”
“Or dinner?” Jeongguk doesn’t miss a beat. His smile doesn’t change, nor his interest. People his age might not like the special emphasis dinner carries, but anyone weird about his lack of drinking gets immediately dinged.
“Message me,” he says, shifting his weight back and forth until Jeongguk touches one of his hips gently, one handed without looking up from his phone.
Why does that make Seokjin squeak like a certain rodent friend that he vehemently denies any relation to?
“I did it right now.” Jeongguk’s pupils widen when he looks back up at him, snapping his phone shut. “I hope to see you soon, princess.”
It’s only when they’ve successfully parted ways that Seokjin realizes that Jeongguk’s light touch kept a tiny bit of a scent mark on his hip, only enough for him to tell when he’s completely alone, and completely alone, Seokjin allows himself to check his phone.
His wail is loud enough that Hoseok rushes to his hotel room, knocking in a panic. “Kim Seokjin, you are the most dramatic person I’ve ever met!” he yells, helping him off the floor while Yoongi waddles in behind him more calmly, coffee clutched between both hands.
“I just listened to you vent for ten minutes about how the hotel sheets have personally set you back emotionally for at least a year because of how awful they were,” Yoongi says to Hoseok.
Seokjin sniffs, then looks up at Hoseok. “They are awful!” he agrees. “And the pillows!”
“They’re trying to kill us!” Hoseok leans down to hug Seokjin, tapping at his cheek. “Look at my skin!”
Yoongi sighs heavily.
Tearfully, Seokjin holds up his phone, message from Jeongguk displayed on screen.
Thirty minutes later, only ten minutes into Hoseok’s tornado of clothing options and accessories and five minutes post his impromptu facial from the omega, Seokjin feels slightly braver about the prospect of seeing Jeongguk again. Yoongi, his closest alpha confidant, quietly holds Seokjin’s hand when he can’t answer a single question about why he’s so nervous or why he agreed to meet him if he can barely think about him without hysterics.
“You like him.” Yoongi helps Hoseok fret about his hair, but it’s merely an excuse to lean into the alpha’s legs and let Hoseok pet him. They both idly scent him - not enough it will last. Jeongguk’s scent mark already faded.
“I’m excited by the idea,” Seokjin admits.
He knows Jeon Jeongguk. His brain might insist that he knew him, past tense, but in their brief reunion earlier in the day, Seokjin felt so intensely to his core that the boy he knew is the same person standing before him fifteen years later, and that boy was so wholeheartedly good natured that even as an eleven-year-old, he cooked Seokjin and his father dinner every night on his own after Seokjin’s mother suddenly passed. Over the course of nearly two months, Jeongguk graduated from cooking simplistic items to well rounded meals, and Seokjin, freshly sixteen and suddenly in charge of the household, bonded with him over cooking new recipes once he found the strength to find anything interesting again.
It wasn’t long after that new year that Seokjin took back up his extracurriculars in desperation to reclaim normalcy to soothe his mourning, and once again, their age gap was enough that they lost contact.
Seokjin eventually went off to college, and his dad moved to a smaller city apartment to remain close to him right after.
He wonders if Jeongguk’s family still lives in that old neighborhood.
After debating the pros and cons of being fashionably late because alphas should always be the first to arrive at the table, Seokjin pulls open the door to the restaurant Jeongguk picked at precisely 7:11 PM. According to Hoseok, that is on time, and he’s the manager.
It isn’t hard to spot Jeongguk seated at a table, but standing next to him is a blonde man laughing. Seokjin freezes, noticing the height of the heel on the guy but also the faux leather pants.
He feels silly in his jeans and pink sweater now, and he left his blonde wig at the hotel, packed not so carefully into his suitcase, so he doesn’t have anything extra to hide his nerves behind.
Jeongguk spots him, calling Seokjin over before he can think anymore on it, and the natural (?) blonde wanders off before they can be introduced. Still. “Who was the pretty blonde?” he has to ask, nose turned up slightly as Jeongguk’s fingers brush over his wrist as he hands him a menu.
“You really don’t keep up with your peers, do you?” Jeongguk smiles, chin in hand as he watches him with a wide grin.
Seokjin wipes a nonexistent fuzz off his top. “Do you have any idea how many novels I’ve put out in the past five years alone? Do you know how many stops I’ve made on my book tour?” He crosses his arms and pouts. He doesn’t have time to know everyone!
Jeongguk pinches his side lightly. Seokjin jolts. “I’m kidding, hyung. I know how busy you are. Jimin is closer to your side of things than Namjoon though.”
“Namjoon?”
“RM.” Jeongguk blinks. “The poet.”
“Ah yes, the man you came to do press for.” Seokjin sours. “Are you sure you can spare me the time?”
Jeongguk looks down at his watch. “In approximately fourteen minutes, he’ll be snoring on the bed with a baby on his chest for, hm, probably twenty minutes before he gives in to Taehyung’s needling about just putting the baby down to go to bed properly.”
Seokjin blinks. “You must be close with them.”
“I’ve been photographing their family for an upcoming project from Taehyung. He said I was the only one who could do it.”
“I can’t imagine letting someone so close to my baby or my mate if it were me.” Seokjin narrows his eyes. “Are you sure there isn’t more going on?”
Jeongguk laughs. “A baby trap would be an interesting way to snag an additional partner, I guess, but I’m sure. Namjoon’s fans are lucky that Taehyung shares any of him at this point. Pretty sure after this appearance the three of them will disappear for a while.”
“And you?” Seokjin resolutely will not look anywhere at the alpha’s face. The lip piercings are too distracting, his scent a little too nice. It might feel overwhelming if he lets it, after all Seokjin enjoys the art of crushing. He has it down pat, and crushing is great fuel for his writing. It never needs to go anywhere for him to feel appreciative, but he teeters on the edge of letting himself go along with it or desperately needing something else when it comes to the alpha in front of him.
“And me?” Jeongguk’s tilted smile crawls closer to him, face swimming down to catch his eyes. “Are you asking if I’m looking for a baby? What of it, hyung? Surely someone who writes all sorts of erotic situations can’t be so flustered by the idea of an alpha on the prowl.”
Suddenly, Seokjin wishes he did drink. Anything to have something to slow down the racing thoughts. As usual, they make him queasy; the idea of a lot of sexual situations when applied to himself is so far removed from how he writes and envisions romance for others. The idea of someone touching him that way can fill him with dread, but previous therapists have floated the idea that with the right partner, he might enjoy certain acts.
Seokjin wouldn’t know.
He avoids eye contact, skirting away from Jeongguk until the alpha leans back in his chair, one arm easily resting on the back of it and legs sprawled out lazily. Seokjin blinks.
He really is effortlessly attractive. The epitome of the love interest in many of his stories, the one one comes back to haunt the protagonist just as they are on the cusp of getting everything they want, their career aligned and the perfect partner finally noticing, only for their small town first love to come back into the picture -
Wait.
“You haven’t changed a bit, hyung.” Jeongguk thumbs at his lip piercings while looking him over. “Still just as shy. Maybe shyer. I can’t believe some of the things you write in your books!”
Seokjin shrinks up, and under the crisp, cool, and unnecessary heavy air conditioning, Jeongguk mistakes it for a display.
The alpha removes his jacket and wraps it around Seokjin’s shoulder, pausing to see if he will refuse it, but Seokjin remains perfectly still.
When Jeongguk settles back into his chair, he looks extra smug.
This is decidedly the kind of thing he would write in a romance.
Curse him.
“You must entertain a lot of suitors,” Jeongguk remarks, in tone casually, but in body, aggressively inquisitive. His body angles forward towards him, his eyes tracking the omega’s body language for tells, while his nose flares, hunting for scent.
Surely he’s already picked up the lack of claim on him. Ordinarily, someone would be able to pick up the lack of interest in his scent as well. “Well. I.” Seokjin swallows heavily. Unfortunately, he can’t fake his disinterest. Jeongguk’s eyes track his throat and Seokjin feels something stir he hasn’t in a long time, and never as a result from real life situations.
“Do you use your suitors for inspiration in your novels?” the alpha asks, leaning on his crossed arms over the table, subtly or perhaps, if he’s feeling generous, unconsciously invading Seokjin’s space.
It’s such an alpha thing to do.
Seokjin squirms in his chair. “You might be surprised.”
Jeongguk’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh?”
Shit, Seokjin thinks. That sounded way more forward than he meant it! Does he imagine the defeat in the alpha’s posture? He doesn’t want that! “I just mean - you might be surprised that I don’t really have inspiration. For that. Uh.” He blinks. Jeongguk blinks back at him.
“Oh. Okay. Uh, you clearly are inspired!” Jeongguk smiles affably, undeterred. It’s Seokjin who feels awkward about it. “Hyung, are these the things you wish someone would do to you?” he asks, wagging his eyebrows, so expressive, so handsome.
Seokjin squirms. He can’t have his dear childhood dongsaeng thinking he’s a pervert!
Or is it better that he thinks he’s a pervert?
This has always been his problem!
Seokjin certainly feels - not strictly professional every time he looks at the alpha, because he can hardly look at his face without combusting, but that leaves looking at his chest. Thank god they aren’t standing. If they were standing, the omega might be tempted to look farther south than just the chest.
“It’s just that - I don’t smell anyone on you, hyung.” Jeongguk’s smile does something. It changes on his face, but it also does something to him personally. Seokjin squirms in his seat. He can’t get wet in public over nothing! “No mate, no heat partner of any kind? A beta friend? An omega nest mate?”
“Are you asking?” Seokjin flails.
Jeongguk’s cheesy grin comes back, the one that takes up his entire face but doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Any alpha?”
“No! No one!” Seokjin covers his face. Can he smell himself? Will Jeongguk -
“Hey, I’m sorry.” Jeongguk snatches one of his hands and holds it between both of his own. He also sits right next to him rather than across the table from him now. “I’m not teasing. I’m asking because I’m interested.”
What Seokjin wants to scream is - INTERESTED! IN ME! SEXUALLY! in neon flashing lights above his head, because this is his dongsaeng and someone he’s known of since they were both children. Instead what he blurts out is, “I’m a virgin!”
Jeongguk’s smile falls.
Seokjin slaps a hand over his mouth. His skin? Hot to the touch.
“Oh.” Jeongguk clears his throat, eyebrows pinched together. “But hyung. All your novels? They have - a reputation!”
“Yah, as if sex is hard to understand!” Seokjin warbles. It might be difficult to write at times, but it isn’t difficult to understand! He can imagine it just fine without experience, thank you!
Jeongguk snorts. “Alright. But, there was that boyfriend of yours - what was his name? The older guy, he was a chef, wasn’t he?”
“He was more than a decade older and I was twenty!” Seokjin shouts loud enough that a woman nearby gasps, clutching at her necklace. He can’t cover his eyes because Jeongguk holds onto both hands. “We took things appropriately slow because of the age difference!”
They never even kissed.
The hand on top of his covering his face is so gentle. “I’m so glad you did, hyung.”
The din of the restaurant fades back into his periphery. Seokjin drops his hand to his lap, taking with it Jeongguk’s tattooed fingers. When he tries to pull it away, the omega clamps down harder. “I’d like you to keep holding my hand, thank you.”
Jeongguk’s hair bobs like the cutest little halo when he nods hurriedly. “Of course, hyung.” He slides his fingers between the omega’s then squeezes. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t. Now, hyung hasn’t eaten all day, so let’s-”
He need not say more, because Jeongguk’s free hand goes up so fast it makes Seokjin dizzy, let alone the unfortunately waiter walking by, nearly smacked in the face. The alpha orders for them - without consulting what Seokjin wants - and he should be more annoyed but instead he has to be annoyed that he isn’t annoyed at all, he likes it. Jeongguk knows what he likes.
Hmph.
“Are you - growling?” Jeongguk asks him, plastic glove on while he tears apart the crab to put it on Seokjin’s plate. When last they parted, they were of an age and time when it was still appropriate for Seokjin to prepare food for Jeongguk, but now they’re older, and well - Jeongguk is the alpha.
“It’s good!”
Jeongguk laughs, and when he does, his scent sweetens. It’s already sweet, for an alpha. Seokjin remains hyperfocused on the younger man, so it’s obvious when he reaches directly for him, a piece of succulent meat between his fingers, but aborts at the last moment to put it on his plate instead of handfeeding him, a faint blush over his cheeks.
“Pick it up,” Seokjin demands. Jeongguk scurries to obey, looking up at him with big unblinking eyes as if he’s never seen crab before in his life. The omega avoids stomping his foot - but just barely. “Weren’t you going to feed me?”
Handfeeding from an alpha can only mean one thing, right up there next to matching clothing. Funny how it’s the alpha blushing when Seokjin sucks the meat right out from between his fingers, cheeks hollowed.
Wait.
Well. Now he’s blushing too, because he had to stop and think about it.
“Jeon Jeongguk!” he yells, waving his fists around, and the alpha squirms, smile shyer with his cheeks so pink.
“I can’t believe I’m the one blushing,” Jeongguk whines, hands hastily shucking more crab and offering it to his lips.
Seokjin accepts.
The alpha’s smile grows a little - cockier.
Seokjin swallows thickly.
At the end of the meal, Jeongguk insists that he pay, and Seokjin also knows what that means. He demands to hold the omega’s hand while he taps his card with the other, and on the street, they stand at an impasse, hands locked together because Seokjin gripped it as if waiting for death.
“So.” Jeongguk fidgets, rocking forward and backward on his feet and flicking his tongue at his lip piercings, which is not distracting at all.
It’s probably considered a crime for a first kiss to involve lip piercings.
Just something Seokjin thinks about.
The way Jeongguk can’t quite look at him combined with the stimming reminds him of a younger version of the alpha, and the fondness in his chest overtakes some of the desperation he feels. But just barely.
“I can take things slow,” Jeongguk says, and it feels so removed from them that it takes Seokjin a minute to catch up.
“What - what’s that mean?” he still has to ask, Jeongguk swinging their hands between them.
“It means I’d like to see you again. Soon. Not in another seven years.” He laughs. “I’ll let you pick where you want to go. Maybe an arcade next time, or some go-karts. I think hyung wants to run from me.”
He pinches at his side with his free hand, because they’ve walked all the way back to the hotel swinging their hands together. A small group of fans recognize Seokjin on the way, but the women respectfully keep a distance while waving and excitedly chatting between themselves about how handsome he is.
“You are handsome, hyung,” Jeongguk says, breaking him out of his professional guise where he hams it up for the women watching them with winks and finger hearts. “But also, you are so pretty.”
A shiver rolls up his spine, but also, it sure is breezy out!
Unfortunately, Jeongguk notices, because of course he does, and immediately, he removes and offers his jacket once more.
Seokjin slaps it out of his hand. “This is not a cheesy romance novel!”
From the pavement, Jeongguk raises his eyebrows in question while he retrieves the offending item. No one looks good with a pierced eyebrow, his friend once said to him when Seokjin taunted that he wanted one. What the fuck is Jeon Jeongguk? Who does he think he is?
“So, you’re not cold?”
Seokjin stomps his foot. “I’m freezing!” Arms crossed, he hastily retreats into the lobby of the hotel, which despite its non affiliation with the convention, the proximity makes it a popular spot for more than the vendors, staff, and writers. More fans squeal when they notice him enter, and this time there is no escaping the autographs or selcas.
Hotel staff eventually escort him to his floor, a silent Jeongguk following after Seokjin drags him on the elevator with them. Outside his room, Seokjin can’t remember what it felt like to be cold. He’s boiling. Simmering. Absolutely about to combust because Jeongguk has that cheesy grin back on his face and he’s watching Seokjin like he has nowhere else to be.
Those kinds of looks usually come with expectations.
And!
He has a lip piercing!
Jeonggguk steps closer to him, enough that his body heat can be felt even through the sweltering effect already at play. He has absolutely no business feeling like this; Seokjin feels things through his characters, an exercise in more than creativity but a way to work out his own neuroses at a safe distance from a single other person who might judge him or be able to help. What is happening to him?
It’s when Jeongguk’s face ducks in slightly that he explodes. “I’ve never been kissed either!”
The alpha blinks, then reels back, eyes sweeping over his face. “Oh, hyung-” Seokjin cringes. Here comes the pity. He’s a thirty-something-year-old virgin who’s never been kissed.
“Do you want to be kissed?” Jeongguk asks, a nervous pinch to his face, but so soft looking otherwise. His thumb swipes over the back of his hand; it’s enough to make Seokjin tear up, although if Jeongguk makes the mistake of commenting on it, he will evacuate the earth immediately.
“It’s okay if you don’t,” Jeongguk adds, suddenly very serious. “There’s nothing wrong with that, and if you want, you can still hold hands with me. Or, others - other people. With anyone! You know. It feels good to hold hands, and it doesn’t need kissing, necessarily.”
“I want to.” Seokjin covers his mouth while he says it. “I want to if it’s you.”
There is only a moment, a flash of Jeongguk’s face breaking into the brightest smile, before Seokjin twists around to hide in the door, desperate to get it open and never be seen or heard from again.
“Wait, hyung-”
“GOOD NIGHT!” he bellows, door slamming behind him. Safely tucked away in the dark, on his own, a door between him and something he wasn’t sure he ever wanted, Seokjin counts each thunder of his heartbeat.
When he holds his breath, when he pushes his ear to the door -
He thinks he hears another heart beat.
“Good night, Jin hyung,” he hears, very softly, from the other side of the door. “I can’t kiss you through the door, so maybe next time.”
He hopes no one hears the muffled scream he lets out as soon as he collapses face first on the bed. The twinkling laughter echoing down the hallway says otherwise.
When he flips open his phone, there are kissing emojis across his screen in a brand new message.
Seokjin screams enough that Hoseok appears, nervously waving his hands around before hugging him around the waist, nose wrinkling. “You stink like him!”
How dare someone say stink! Jeongguk stinks, sure, but when Seokjin wears it, it’s distinct! He ducks out from his arms, Yoongi emerging from the dark doorway like a goblin. “He doesn’t want you to touch him. He doesn’t want to share with you, Hob-yah.”
Yoongi winks at him, one hand pulling Hoseok away from him.
Seokjin yanks at his hair. “Hyung.” Yoongi grimaces.
“Are you okay? I haven’t seen - this before.” Hoseok gestures at him, wincing when Seokjin hisses, smoothing back his hair and standing up straight.
“I’m perfect. Perfectly composed. I’ve never been so cool, calm, and collected.” Seokjin takes off his jacket, then realizes who’s jacket it is.
He screams.
He doesn’t remember putting it on! In fact, he distinctly remembers protesting it! How? When?
His friends - managers - jump, scrambling and bumping into each other in the guise of helping him. “Don’t touch it!” he screeches, and at their terrified look, stomps into the bathroom to lock that door and hide. Now he’s as cornered as he can get with nowhere else to go, and - “Someone hand me that jacket!”
All the next day he dodges both the concerned looks combined with mischievous looks from the two of them. It’s the last day of the convention and the schedule is both lighter but also more condensed. Seokjin sits on a panel next to an alarmingly pretty beta; the world is trying to actively sabotage him! Jeongguk is there, just there, slipping out of his chair in the front row to deftly swing out into the aisle, clicking pictures as he goes, and no, Seokjin is absolutely not wearing a leather jacket in a stuffy conference room where it is fundamentally unnecessary. He just likes to sweat. Everyone knows he gets cold easily!
Wisely, Jeongguk chooses not to mention anything of it when he slides up close to him after being waved past the menacing security guard by Yoongi. He slips something into his hand; at first, Seokjin thinks he’s merely holding it again, but then he feels the rough edges. In his palm, he inspects a keychain. A cute keychain. Seokjin narrows his eyes.
“What is this?”
Jeongguk falters. “A souvenir? Of the convention? Of - when we met again?”
“Right, right. Because if this was intended as a courting gift.” Seokjin snaps his gaze on him in what Hoseok calls the viper. “It isn’t.”
Jeongguk gulps.
“Uh.”
“It isn’t a scented item. It doesn’t count.”
Seokjin blinks back at the megawatt smile beaming like a light switched on. “Of course!” The alpha bounces his weight from side to side, then jabs an undercut to his side. Seokjin intercepts the fist, their fingers interlocking as they swing down, but Seokjin chops at Jeongguk’s neck for good measure while his defenses are down. It’s the only time he’s going to get one up on him.
“Of course, by that measure, I could say.” Jeongguk wags his eyebrows with an impish grin, one finger lightly tracing the sides of the jacket.
Seokjin’s forthcoming meltdown is spared only by Jeongguk insisting, “Let me properly introduce you!” But what is he talking about-?
Oh.
It’s the insufferably pretty one who sat next to him during the panel - and they’re hugging?!
“Hyung, this is Park Jimin. Jiminie, this is Worldwide Handsome to you.” Jeongguk then has the audacity to hold Seokjin’s hand while he attempts to tickle this beta’s side!
Seokjin shoves his hand away and crosses his arms. Right after he tosses his head back and fixes his hair. Jimin’s laughter sounds like bells, the cute and dainty kind. “It’s a pleasure to meet you officially, Seokjin-ssi.” He half bows, so Seokjin half bows. Jeongguk steps closer to him with a look.
“But princess to me, right?” Jeongguk asks so quietly that Seokjin is sure Jimin wouldn’t catch it.
“Jeonggukie told me about how he ran into you last night.” Jimin purses his lips with mirth.
Oh really. “Last night?” When would Jeongguk have time to catch up with a casual friend after their date? Not that it was a date! Seokjin narrows his eyes.
“He called me to gush about how pretty you looked.” Jimin’s charming smile turns devious as he tilts his chin forward. “He said your cheeks were so cute that they’d be the first picked to be eaten in a children’s fairytale.”
“Hyung!”
Seokjin reddens. Is that - a compliment? How is he to know! Flabbergasted, he risks a look at his dongsaeng, red faced as well. He knows he means it from the way the alpha’s shoulders are up around his ears.
Seokjin holds his cheeks in his hands at the same time as Jeongguk holds his own ears, just like when they were young. But the omega won’t be distracted with memories or how cute he looks!
“Who are you?” Perhaps he points more aggressively than is necessary. Jimin looks taken aback, and by that, he actually reels back away from the finger in his face.
“I’m an author? Same as you?” His eyebrows raise. “I wrote Closer Than This? It topped the bestseller’s list last year?”
Sounds familiar. Seokjin thinks he might even be able to picture the cover if he squints and really thinks about it. A tender hold takes his wrist, then hand. When he looks down, Jeongguk’s holding his hand.
“He’s just a friend, hyung. I don’t even like him that much,” Jeongguk says, which is a lie, because he sticks his tongue out at Park Jimin and Park Jimin huffs and kicks at him. They appear very clearly to be good friends.
“Don’t worry, Seokjin-ssi, Jeonggukie isn’t my type. You on the other hand.” He stops lunging after Jeongguk, the alpha ducking behind Seokjin’s back playfully, only for Park Jimin to smile openly at Seokjin with the type of sincerity that would woo anyone. Even Seokjin is a little flustered at the attention, but Jeongguk just as suddenly whips out from around him, standing full chested in front of Park Jimin and scowling in a way that brings back the deja vu.
“If ever this alpha bores you,” Jimin taunts over Jeongguk’s posturing, standing up on his tip toes to try and catch his eye over the alpha’s shoulder.
“How could he bore me?” Seokjin doesn’t quite mean to ask that aloud, but at Jimin’s questioning head tilt, he adds: “He has pierced lips!”
Jeongguk peers back at him with a quirked eyebrow - also pierced, and Jimin giggles, apparently delighted. “In that case, wait until he picks you up on his motorcycle,” Jimin laughs. “Or takes you back to his all black house!”
“Okay, that’s enough from you!” Jeongguk makes to grab him, and the two friends lightly tussle. It isn’t much - Seokjin wonders if at another time they might, but they both look careful not to touch their wrists on each other, because Jeongguk is a respectful dongsaeng like that, and Jimin looks the part of a literal angel on earth.
How is Seokjin meant to dislike him? How dare he be so nice!
The friends look over at him. “Hyung, you’re growling,” Jeongguk remarks while Jimin takes a step back, swatting his arm one more time. “Go comfort him!” he hisses, walking away while shaking his head and waving his arms with a grandiosity that Seokjin greatly appreciates and admires.
“So?” Jeongguk asks, creeping closer until one finger hooks into his. Something about it feels so childishly naive that Seokjin stops to ask himself if they ever held hands back then; surely, they must have, at least once? It seems a shame to think they never did, but now Seokjin grasps onto the hand as if he were drowning. “What do you think, hyung? Would you - would you allow me to court you?”
His forehead leans forward until it briefly meets Seokjin. Between them, Jeongguk’s scent sweetly swells up and then away, as if the alpha won’t be too hopeful.
“You want to kiss your hyung?” Seokjin asks. His mouth is numb. That’s why he says such stupid things! There’s no controlling it sometimes!
“If hyung wants.” His lips are close enough to his forehead that Seokjin feels kissed! “I wouldn’t mind being hyung’s first kiss.”
Resolutely, Kim Seokjin will not faint, swoon, or fall head over heels in love like some cliche omega. He is successful. He is dignified. He never once in his life has felt weak kneed. He will not faint!
(He feels a little faint.)
The feeling lasts the rest of the day as the alpha happily holds his hand and greets Hoseok and Yoongi like old friends when they check out of their rooms and pile their bags in the back of Yoongi’s SUV.
“He’s never been this quiet before,” Hoseok whisper-hisses at Yoongi. “Check for a pulse!”
Seokjin whips his head around to glare. In front of him, Jeongguk opens the passenger door of the car for him. “I’m still alive, thank you! You should be so lucky!”
“For your demise?” Yoongi frowns.
“You’ll get nothing from me when I’m gone!”
“Contractually, I would be able to sell rights with a percentage to my name as agreed upon in our last-”
“I will rewrite our contract!”
“Hyung.”
Oh shit.
Jeongguk looks at him with those big eyes, full of things that Seokjin could name but has never felt himself. Jeongguk looks at him like he’s full of feelings he could name and feel because he’s a higher being, and they’re standing so close together, the alpha’s arm around his waist. His scent spikes, he knows it does even if he cannot smell it himself, and Jeongguk’s eyebrow piques. “Don’t be nervous,” he says, so clearly. So confidently. “I won’t kiss you. If you want to kiss me, I’ll wait. Until you want it. Until you ask.”
Seokjin wants it. Screw his managers’ gawking faces, totally not obvious at all the way they pretend not to be listening. Screw being so public. Seokjin would accept a kiss from the alpha now if he leaned in, and that thought is terrifying.
He’s going to be sick.
“I’ll wait for you to make the move, hyung.”
Oh god! Seokjin can’t make moves! He's going to die a kissing virgin!
Jeongguk gently scents him across his lower back when he helps Seokjin into the car seat, and wobbly kneed and fighting for the last remnants of his sanity, Seokjin can only allow himself to hold onto the jacket in his lap.
Jeongguk, hand on the door, leans his head back in for a moment. “By the way, I think my jacket counts as a scented gift.”
Giggling, the alpha closes the door, stepping away and waving when Yoongi smoothly pulls away from the curb. Seokjin opens his mouth once, then closes it. Opens it again,then closes it again. His friend must be concerned for him, because Yoongi turns on Seokjin’s latest music obsession and Yoongi’s subsequent bane of existence. His eyes move quickly between the road and Seokjin’s profile, scent billowing in and out. In any other situation, Seokjin would find it amusing that Yoongi appears anxious on account of him, because during his most dramatic meltdowns, his friend and manager tends to dryly nod without looking up from whatever he’s doing.
“Yoongichi,” he whines, waiting until they come to a complete stop at a red light. Yoongi turns towards him, hesitant, cautious, dare Seokjin say - scared?
“Do you think -” Seokjin licks his lips. Yoongi leans in his direction. “He likes me?”
Yoongi groans so loud and for so long the cars behind them honk, and laughing, free of his alpha induced fluster spell for the moment, Seokjin rolls down the windows and sings along at the top of his lungs so Hoseok can hear him from his own car following them.
By the time Seokjin gets home, there is a waiting message on his phone and a bouquet of flowers on his doorstep. Screaming, he makes it into his apartment before fainting into his nest, arms full of roses and a leather jacket.
His first courting gift.
Kim Seokjin is about to get himself an alpha.