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Once upon a time in 409 CE there was a benevolent King named Sonic who ruled over the kingdom of Green Hill Zone, then, the Saxons from real life history decided to invade the fictional kingdom of Green Hill Zone, due to reasons we do not fully understand.
Sonic called upon his best warrior Shadow to defeat the Saxons.
“Brave knight Shadow, a blight known as the barbaric Saxons threatens our glorious Green Hill Zone.” King Sonic proclaimed.
“I miss my son, Sonic.” Shadow said.
“You must slay the Saxons.”
“My wife took my son in the divorce, Sonic.” Shadow said.
“Listen to me, pull yourself together Shadow, there are bigger problems.” Sonic put a hand on Shadows shoulder. “We can make a new son once every Saxon is dead, you see I too know what its like to be divorced like you, but the only thing I hate more than my three ex wives Knuckes, Knucles, and Knuckles, is the Saxons. Do you realise, do. you. realise, they could invade green hill zone, and we would have to move out of it!?”
“I see.” Shadow said.
Sonic led shadow into a field with an elevator which they descended to find a strange large object, Shadow had never seen anything like it before.
“Behold, this is an invention by the great wizard Merlina, its called the holy atom bomb, when the Saxons arrive on the Green Hill Zone we will drop it on them and they will all die. Its never been tested before but it will surely not have any negative consequences for us.”
The Saxons were approaching Green Hill Zone, but they kept getting stuck on the loops because humans can't run as fast as Sonic and thus they repeatedly failed to build up enough momentum, so every time they got to the top of the loop they all fell down on top of each other in a big pile. This went on for 1539 years, but in that time motorcycles had been invented and the Saxons eventually got their hands on one.
The Saxons made it through the loops with the motorcycle but they only had one so they all had to take turns, two people would go on the motorcycle then one would be dropped off while the other went back to bring more Saxons. They were all expert speed runners and could complete the course in 27 seconds, with the trip back taking another 27 seconds, there were 1000 Saxons in total, so in another mere 54000 seconds all the Saxons were ready to invade Green Hill zone.
But of course, it was all for naught as team Sonadow had prepared the Holy Atom bomb. They epically dropped the bomb and all the Saxons exploded, but Green Hill Zone was also destroyed for reasons we do not fully understand.
Due to divine protection (plot armor), Sonadow were the only two survivors. Sonic was overjoyed to hear the news of his ex wifes Knuckes, Kuckles, and Kuckles being dead. Shadow was greatly sad that his ex wife and son were dead we do not fully understand the reasons to this considering it was his EX wife and he could always just make a new son, which he did with sonic somehow, it was named Silver the Hedgehog 2 and Knuckles after Shadows old son Silver the Hedgehog 1 and Sonics ex wife.
Then, possibly because their entire relationship was built on the foundation of bonding over the fact that they were both divorced heterosexual males they ended up getting divorced. RIP.
