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Keith was lying in his bed at 4am when the thoughts started.
He had never really felt like he belonged. From foster homes and schools, to the Garrison, Keith never really fit.
That was, until, he accidentally ended up stuck in space with three random cargo pilots, his brother-figure who he thought was dead until recently, and two Altean aliens from ten thousand years ago.
Despite the complete ridiculousness of the situation, Keith had never felt more… normal. Sure, he still preferred to be alone and stuck out like a sore thumb at times, but at least he was able to talk to these people without them sounding like his mere presence was pissing them off. Well, apart from one person.
Lance was… interesting. Keith had barely remembered Lance at first, nevermind their so-called ‘rivalry’, but if Lance insisted it was real, then Keith had no problem keeping up the charade. At first anyway.
Lance pissed Keith off. A lot. With his constant natter, his flirtatious behaviour with any creature who breathed, his pretty cool sharp-shooting skills, his short but fluffy hair, nice eyes…
Whatever. So maybe Keith had a little thing for Lance, sue him. It’s not like it would ever go anywhere, as Keith often observed the Blue Paladin’s eyes locked on a certain Altean princess, so all Keith could do was pine in silence and beg that one day, Lance would drop the whole ‘rival’ thing so they could just be friends. But Keith never had many of those, so he didn’t exactly know how to go about it.
Even though he had some friends now, Keith still wouldn’t call himself the touchy type. He was too young to remember any affection from his parents before they died and nobody in the foster homes touched him much (other than to hit him if he was acting up). Kids at school avoided him like the plague and the only contact he ever received at the Garrison was from fights. Keith still remembered the first time Shiro had patted him on the shoulder. His large, warm hand burned into his skin with a gentleness Keith had never been treated with before; he always used to associate touch with pain. Before Keith could properly learn just how comforting touch could be, Shiro disappeared.
Now, whenever a group hug would occur between Hunk, Pidge and Lance, he would stand awkwardly to the side. When Shiro would go for a brief pat on the back, Keith would hunch his shoulders and tense up, despite everything inside him screaming to relax, to enjoy it before it was taken away again. Like it always was.
Why should he bother getting used to nice things when he knew he didn’t deserve them? Realistically, after all of this Galra nonsense was over, he knew that everyone would return to Earth, their friends, their families, and forget about the strange boy who they were forced into close contact with for a while. The cold, bitter, impatient Red Paladin would cease to exist and maybe…
Keith frowned, tossing and turning in bed as he squeezed his eyes shut to stop any moisture from escaping.
…maybe that would be for the best.
____________________
Keith thought he was pretty good at hiding how he truly felt. Everyone seemed to chalk up his worsened attitude to his prickly personality and honestly, Keith couldn’t blame them. That was until someone started to poke their nose into his business.
After a few days of ‘Keith-being-more-of-a-dick-than-usual’, Lance had started staring. Whether it was during meals, on missions, training, or just walking down a corridor, Keith could always count on feeling Lance’s stupidly gorgeous eyes following his every move. Was he trying to communicate telepathically? Maybe trying to see through to Keith’s true feelings? Whatever it was, it was driving Keith insane.
It wasn’t until a whole week later that something changed.
Keith was having a very bad, not good day. Everything that could’ve possibly gone wrong, went wrong, leaving him yelling at poor Allura for an off-handed comment, and running into his room to lick his wounds out of embarrassment.
He plopped onto his bed and sighed, aggressively scrubbing his stinging eyes and taking deep breaths to calm himself down. A few minutes later, there was a hesitant knock on his door, making Keith roll his eyes.
“Whatever you have to say, Shiro, I don’t wanna hear it.”
“... good job I’m not Shiro then. Does that mean I can come in?”
Keith sat up in surprise at the sound of Lance’s muffled voice. ‘This is probably going to end badly,’ Keith thought, letting out a small groan when Lance continued knocking. ‘He’s not gonna stop bothering me until I let him in, is he?’
Reluctantly, the Red Paladin got up and slid his door open with a glare. “What?”
Lance didn’t reply, but shoved his way past Keith and entered his room, humming to himself as he sat on Keith’s bed. The older boy clicked his tongue in annoyance before slamming the door shut.
“Just make yourself at home, why don’t you,” Keith muttered sarcastically, sitting as far away from Lance as possible on the other end of the bed.
“Sure, I will,” Lance responded before turning to sit cross-legged on the bed, his expression suddenly turning serious. “So, what’s up then?”
“Nothing is up,” Keith huffed, quickly crossing his arms and refusing to meet Lance’s eyes.
“C’mon, dude,” Lance complained, shuffling closer. “Something’s been bothering you for, like, a week now. You can tell me.”
‘I’m so scared of losing all of you when we eventually go back to Earth so I’m not letting myself get too close because I know it will hurt like hell and I don’t think I can handle feeling that pain again. Also I want a hug. Preferably from you or Shiro,’ was what Keith wanted to say. What he actually said, however, was,
“I’m fine, it’s nothing.”
Lance sighed. “Can you look at me for a sec?”
For a moment Keith didn’t move, but the awkward moment of silence quickly became suffocating so he slowly turned his head to meet Lance’s gaze. Lance’s worried, soft gaze.
“I know we fight a lot and I call you my rival or whatever but,” Lance paused, biting his lip. “I do care about you, ya know? Like we’re friends, whether you like it or not, you lone wolf.”
Keith huffed a small laugh.
“Seriously, though. The whole team is worried about you, especially Shiro. You’ve been distant lately and I’m- we’re worried you’re gonna do something stupid and get hurt. Or do some self-sacrificing bullshit and we’ll lose you. We can’t lose you, Keith… I can’t lose you.”
Keith stared, his lips parted slightly in shock. Where was this coming from? Was it some pre-prepared speech Shiro had given him? There was no way that Lance, his Lance, was scared of losing someone as forgettable as Keith.
Lance hesitated before speaking again. “I know you probably don’t believe me or whatever thoughts are going through your head right now, but it’s true. I like you a lot, Keith, we all do. Even if you’re a pain in the ass sometimes, you’re part of the team. So please stop treating yourself as an outsider and let us in. Let us- no, let me help you.”
A single tear fell down Keith’s cheek. Years and years of repressed emotions started forcing themselves out at Lance’s words, choking him of words and breath. It didn’t help that the very bad, not good day had started to catch up with him as well, making him clench his fist and try to slow his breathing.
“Hey.” A soft voice distracted him as he tried to pull himself together. There was no way he could fall apart in front of Lance, of all people. There was no way-
Keith looked up shakily and saw the blurred outline of Lance’s figure (a lot closer than he was before) slowly hold his arms out. “Can I… Can I hug you? You look like you need it.”
Maybe it was the gentle tone of Lance’s voice that he never thought he deserved to hear, maybe it was the shitty day (shitty week, month) or maybe he was just tired. Keith wasn’t sure which factor made him break, it might’ve been a mix of all of them.
But he couldn’t bring himself to care as he nodded, his expression breaking as a sob forced its way out of his mouth. Lance’s surprisingly strong arms wrapped around his body, holding him close to his chest where Keith tried to focus on the strong and steady beat of his heart. Keith reached his arms up to grip at Lance’s shirt, scared that if he dared to loosen his grip then Lance would disappear. A deft hand found its way into Keith’s hair, gently stroking the dark strands and lightly scraping his scalp in soothing motions. The other hand settled on his shaking back, rubbing it up and down in an attempt to calm him.
“It’s okay,” Lance murmured into his hair. “Let it all out. I’ve got you, I promise.”
Keith’s frame wracked with cries as he gasped for breaths that wouldn’t quite come. He buried his face further into the crook of Lance’s neck, sobbing out barely coherent apologies so that Lance wouldn’t leave, please don’t leave-
“Hey, I’m not going anywhere, I swear. I’d never leave you, neither would the others, okay?”
Lance listened to Keith’s gasps and cries for a few more moments before letting go slightly to cup his face in his hands. The older boy panicked for a moment, gripping his t-shirt tighter, but relaxed slightly when he realised Lance wasn’t letting him go completely.
“Hey hey, I need you to try and breathe, okay? You’re gonna pass out,” Lance tried to keep the worry out of his voice as he gently wiped Keith’s cheeks and pressed their foreheads together. “Try to follow my breathing. You’re okay.”
That’s how they stayed for the next few minutes. Keith basically sat in Lance’s lap with their foreheads together, breathing deeply in the comfort of each other's presence. Keith’s sobs slowly subsided as his breathing came under control and he fell against Lance’s chest, exhausted.
“‘M sorry,” Keith croaked out, blinking blearily to try and clear his vision.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Lance replied, tangling a hand in his hair. “You should never apologise for something like this.”
Keith sighed. “I- I was scared.”
“What of?”
Keith swallowed, tightening his hold on Lance again. “Of everyone leaving when we go back to Earth.”
Lance froze. “What do you mean?”
“When we free everyone from Zarkon,” Keith started, voice shaking a little. “Everyone will go back to their family and other friends. Nobody will want to stay with someone like me and everyone will leave and I will be alone again in that damn shack in the middle of the fucking desert-”
“Woah, slow down,” Lance pulled away slightly to look at Keith’s face and cupped his face, mirroring his actions from earlier. “Of course we won’t leave you when we get back to Earth. Keith, you’re part of this fucked up space family whether you like it or not. We’re not going to leave you alone.” He ran a hand through his hair, his expression turning slightly nervous. “I would never dream of not speaking to you again, that sounds more like a nightmare.”
Keith blinked. “I thought you didn’t like me.”
Lance flushed and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I didn’t used to, when we first met, but that’s because I didn’t know you. I guess you could say I was kinda jealous of you which is why I kept calling you my rival. I wanted to beat you to prove to myself that I actually deserved to be in the Garrison… Turns out I was just pretty obsessed with you.” He admitted, his voice low like he was sharing a secret.
“Obsessed with me?” Keith almost couldn’t believe his ears.
“Don’t make me say it again,” Lance groaned in embarrassment. “But yeah… I like you, Keith. As in, like like you.”
The older boy felt his jaw go slack. “You like me?”
“Don’t just repeat everything I say!” Lance protested. “Look, I don’t expect you to like me back or anything but-”
“Are you kidding me?” Keith couldn’t help but sound fond as he rolled his eyes. “I’ve been crushing on you since forever, you idiot.”
“Seriously?!” Lance squawked, his face bright red. “I guess we both could’ve sorted this out sooner, huh?”
Keith snorted quietly before sitting up straighter in Lance’s lap in a surge of confidence. He wiped his hands over his face in a half-hearted attempt to clean his tears. “I know I look disgusting right now but,” Keith took a deep breath, “can I kiss you?”
Lance leaned up slightly with a dramatic flirty look on his face. “Keith, you couldn’t look disgusting if you tried.” He winked and Keith groaned. The older boy was about to tell him to shut up when he realised he had a much more effective way to do so.
Mustering up all the confidence he could, he slowly closed the distance and kissed Lance softly. They parted for a moment, catching their breath as their eyes met, before their lips met again. And again. And again. Lance placed his hand on Keith’s cheek, tilting their heads to deepen the kiss. Keith reached up to tangle his hand into Lance's hair, pulling on the soft strands lightly, causing Lance to groan softly against his lips.
Lance reluctantly pulled away first, panting slightly. “Keith, you will never be alone again. You’ll have me. You will always have me.”
Keith’s heart swelled, his fear melting into fondness. Unable to form any words, he pulled Lance back in, hoping to convey a clear message through his lips.
I’ll always be yours.