A Whole New World... And it's Full of Sentiment Objects... Great

by CyeisLost

Summary:

The portal worked!! Too bad it exploded behind you, leaving you stranded in a world full of walking, talking objects. And with no way to contact your friends back home, you're left to the mercy of this world and its inhabitants. Now a phone is making you his assistant until a test tube, or your friend, can make a working portal back to your Earth.

All in all, trading in a life of high-stakes adventures for a life as a mere assistant is going to be a hard adjustment. And you just hope you can adjust fast, otherwise you'll be ripping this phone apart before the portal is even started.

Chapter 1: The Beginning

"Systems ready. Kai, secure the rig."

 

"I’m doing it, dude. Chill."

 

Kai’s half-lidded eyes and lopsided grin didn’t inspire much confidence, but his hands worked fast, cinching straps and clipping hooks with surprising efficiency.

 

"Excuse me—‘dude’? Maybe if you weren’t baked 24/7, I wouldn’t have to remind you not to screw up the one thing keeping our friend alive and SAFE!"

 

Kai rolls his eyes and snorted, tightening the final strap across your chest, tugging it until you grunt. The ropes and buckles bite into your suit—snug, heavy, and very real.

 

"Relax, Lucas. I’m good at multitasking. Weed enhances focus, you know."

 

"Yeah, tell that to the last batch of burnt-out processors!" Lucas snapped.

 

You can’t help but laugh at their usual back-and-forth. Lucas, all nerves and genius, fingers flying over a control panel. Kai, his hazy-eyed partner-in-crime, still smells like a dispensary. Honestly, just standing next to him feels like a contact high.

 

Or maybe it’s the adrenaline and excitement.

 

Because standing before you—glowing, humming, and alive—is the result of five long years of Lucas’s obsession: a ten-foot circular machine crackling with dormant power. He calls it the **World Hopper**—which, yeah, sounds dumb as hell—but you’re not about to insult the guy holding your fate in his hands.

 

Kai gave one last tug on your chest harness. "There. All done and tucked in."

 

You rolled your eyes but grinned. "Thanks, Kai. Try not to set the lab on fire while I’m gone."

 

"No promises."

 

Once everything was checked twice—because Lucas didn’t trust anything checked only once, especially if it was by Kai—both of them retreated behind a thick glass barrier, the control room glowing with monitors and data streams. You tapped your headset and gave a quick test.

 

"One, two. You guys hear me?"

 

"Loud and clear," Lucas replied, his voice crackling through. "Comms are stable. I’m powering up the World Hopper now. Brace yourself—there might be some kickback from the initial surge."

 

You plant your boots, heart hammering.

 

A spark flickered to life in the dead center of the machine.

 

Then another.

 

The hum grew into a deep, pulsing vibration that you could feel in your teeth.

 

And then the world exploded in light.

 

An electric-blue blaze burst from the ring, flooding the lab. You flinched, cursing as you scrambled to yank your goggles down. The energy pressure slammed against your chest like a hurricane. The air howled, the ground trembled, and for a moment you were sure the machine was going to tear itself apart.

 

Lucas’s voice shouted through your headset, barely audible over the roar. "You’re okay! Don’t panic! The readings are high but stable—just hold your position!"

 

"Easy for you to say, asshole! You’re not the one getting your ass fried in here!" you shout, fumbling with the straps as wind and static whip around you.

 

Lucas’s laughter bursts through the comm. "Hey, you begged for this! Remember the ‘Oh, pick me! I wanna go first!’ speech? You sounded like a kid begging for a puppy! So yeah, this one’s on you!"

 

Even through the light, you can see his smug grin. And in response, you flip him off.

 

"Love you too," Lucas chuckled, fingers flying across the console. "Alright, the ropes are rigged for automatic retraction. If your vitals spike or we lose your signal, it’ll yank you back immediately. Otherwise, stay calm, stay observant, and for the love of god, don’t touch anything that looks alive."

 

"Got it," you say, planting your feet. "Trust me."

 

"I trust you with everything I have," Lucas said, his tone suddenly serious. He hesitated. "Godspeed."

 

You salute, take a deep breath, and step forward. The portal’s hum deepens—a living thing, a storm in a circle—and then it swallows you whole.

 

---

 

You didn’t fall so much as blur. Your body twisted, weightless, as if gravity couldn’t decide which direction to pull. The world spun and folded in on itself—blue light, static, and your own heartbeat roaring in your ears.

 

Then, with a jolt, everything stopped.

 

You were standing before what looked like a window—except it wasn’t glass. The surface rippled like water, showing a world that shouldn’t exist. A green landscape stretched out beneath an impossibly blue sky, dark trees in the background. It reminded you of a drawing more than an actual place. It was beautiful and wrong all at once.

 

You raise a hand, fingertips brushing the surface.

 

It ripples.

 

Then the entire portal shudders.

 

"Lucas? Kai? You reading me?" Silence. Just static.

 

Panic claws at your gut. You tugged the rope around your waist—still there, solid, reassuring. The pull-back should’ve been automatic if they’d lost signal, which meant only one thing: the portal was still open. For now.

 

The trembling intensifies. The blue light fades to a deep, hungry black that starts to creep toward you like a living shadow. And it's coming in hot.

 

"No, no, no—come on!" you hiss, clawing at the tether. It won’t budge. The darkness races closer.

 

Instinct takes over. You sprint toward the window and dive through—

 

**CRASH.**

 

The moment you passed through, everything exploded.

 

A thunderous crack split the air behind you. You felt the cords snap, the weight of the harness yanked violently. The light vanished, leaving you in a freefall that ended with a bone-jarring thud.

 

—and then everything goes black.

Notes:

Summaries are hard, so I hope the story was good. If people want more, then I can make more of the chapters, but I can't promise any consistency. I've just had this idea running around in my head for a while, and I needed to get at least this part out. So please leave feedback, I'd love to read it!!

And if people want to know more about Reader's backstory, then I can also do a mini story elaborating on that. It's mainly based on an RP a friend and I are doing, and Reader is one of the main characters. Plus, I just think it's a nice conflict to be an adventurer and then go to an assistant. Sue me.

Chapter 2: This is a Dream, Right? Right??

Murmurs. Distant. Warped. Like voices underwater, and you do your best to call or to them.

 

“Ngh… Lucas? Kai? Wha—”

 

“Oh! They’re waking up!”

 

“Back up! Give them space to breathe!”

 

You fight against the fog smothering your mind, forcing your eyelids open—just a sliver at first. The light stabs at your skull, but you keep going, dragging yourself back to consciousness through sheer stubbornness and the will not to die wherever the hell you’ve landed.

 

Shapes blur together above you, but you swear you can make out a giant test tube hovering over you, and it seems like they're... Examining you? Maybe?

 

Or maybe you hit your head so hard that your brain’s playing puppet theater with lab equipment.

 

You groan and turn your head, fighting every ounce of weakness in your limbs to get a look at the “people” surrounding you.

 

And what you see knocks the breath from your lungs.

 

"What the?"

 

That's all you can muster at the moment. Because you don't see human people.

 

They’re objects.

 

Objects with faces. With limbs. With expressions. With attitude.

 

A suitcase leans in, looking at you with concern on its face. A trophy blinks lazily, almost annoyed. A fan standing beside the test tube, looking giddy at you. And many more. All are just looking at you.

 

"Ugh.. Am I dreaming? Or is this real?"

 

You had to have been dreaming. Maybe the machine actually didn't work, and it exploded before you were even able to set foot in there, and everything you saw in that portal was a dream. Now you're in some type of coma that's making you see walking, talking objects because there's no way that there's a universe out there full of objects! Other humanoids, maybe. Weird animal creatures, sure, why not? But objects! No way!

 

"Haha, yup! All real! At least, I'm sure I'm real." A lightbulb chimes in. Quite happily, too.

 

"All this is real! Here, let's sit you up." The test tube speaks up now and sits you up with the help of the fan that was next to them.

 

“Oh, this is exciting!” the fan babbles. “MePhone never said anything about a new contestant! You think this was supposed to be part of the episode?”

 

The trophy scoffs and rolls their eyes. “If it was, he botched the entrance. Just popping in from nowhere? Lame. And we haven’t even done elimination yet.”

 

Now you’re confused. What did they mean? Contestant? Why would you be a contestant in anything? You don’t even look like these guys. And that whole thought sent you to another one. These guys aren’t freaking out. No. They’re calm. Like you’re no different from all the others standing around you. And now that you’re finally sitting up and your senses are coming back fully, you notice your body doesn’t feel right. It feels almost… Different?

 

Almost like it’s not your human body. It feels… light. Balanced wrong. Weight where there shouldn’t be any. You look down, expecting your own arms—

 

No. No, no, no, no—

 

Thin black arms. Matte, smooth. Non-human. Limbs that aren’t yours.

 

If you weren’t freaking out before, then you certainly were now. You regain the rest of your strength before quickly jumping up from your position and yanking the giant knife from the crowd. You wrench him around, angling his reflective metal toward you.

 

He struggles. “Whoa, Hey! Let go!”

 

He’s struggling, but you’re able to hold him still enough as you take a look at yourself in his metal. And then all your questions get answered in that moment.

 

“No way.. There’s no way.. This can’t be possible…”

 

The portal somehow turned you into one of these guys. You’re an object now. That’s why they’re not freaking out. That’s why they’re not treating you like an alien and caring for you like nothing is wrong. Because to them, nothing is different.

 

You’re frozen. Stunned. The knife eventually pulls away from you, but only after you loosen your hold on him. You can’t even think properly anymore. This has to be a dream, but you know it’s not anymore. This is reality. Your new reality.

 

A suitcase approaches carefully, eyes full of worry. “Hey… you sure you’re okay? You don’t look good. Maybe sit down again?”

 

You look towards the suitcase, but before you can let out a single word, another voice comes from beyond the crowd.

 

“Hey, Hey! What’s going on here! We have a show to get to! Why are you guys crowding around here!” A phone is walking through the small crowd now.

 

“MePhone!” the fan chirps. “We were just meeting the new contestant! Or… guest? We still don't know, they’re not saying much.”

 

“A new what? I didn’t get a new contestant or a guest for this episode.” The phone then looks back at a tablet and a toilet that were standing behind him.

 

“Unless one of you two did without telling me?”

 

The tablet answers crisply. “No, sir. I would’ve informed you.”

 

Then the toilet was next to speak. “I didn't do it either, mistah phone! I wouldn't do anything before telling you!”

 

The phone just sighs, rubbing his screen, or face technically, with his hand in annoyance.

 

“Thank you for that reassurance toilet. But if you two didn't bring them here, then who did?”

 

The fan raises a hand like a student desperate to participate.

 

“If I may interject, MePhone.”

 

The fan is speaking again while walking towards who you assume to be MePhone. Very ‘creative’ name there.

 

“They weren't really brought here; they were kinda just, poofed, here.”

 

MePhone just stares at him confused. “Poofed?”

 

“Yup! Poofed! Which is why we thought: new contestant!”

 

You’re done listening. Every word is nonsense. None of it helps. Your mind thrashes with only one priority: answers. 

 

And most importantly…

 

Will you be able to make it back home?

 

You turn your direction towards MePhone, who's still talking to the fan, and start to walk over to him. You're stumbling a bit from the pain, but the idea of getting answers to these crazy events is driving you forward. You hear the voices of the other objects, at least a couple, telling you to stay seated and not to push yourself. You hear the concern, but it's falling on deaf ears.

 

“You.”

 

The tablet is the first of the trio to notice you stumbling over. You think he senses the slight anger that's bubbling in you from this whole situation as he positions himself slightly in front of MePhone.

 

“I have a sense that your tensions are high about this situation at hand, but let's not do anything that can cause harm to anyone.”

 

That sentence caused MePhone to finally look at you and caused you to stop where you were. You just sighed and raised your arms up in surrender, to prove that you weren't going to do anything to hurt anyone. Yet, at least.

 

“I’m not here to hurt anyone. I want answers. And you”—you jab a finger at MePhone—“look like the one in charge.”

 

You step closer until you’re only a few feet away.

 

“So you're going to be the one to give me those answers. Or I will become a problem.”

 

MePhone is now the one holding his hands up in defence. “Whoa, whoa, ok, ok! I'll talk! Just calm down.”

 

He clears his throat, then switches instantly into a cheesy game-show host voice before throwing an arm around you. You think you just opened up Pandora’s box as he energetically and enthusiastically wrapped an arm around your neck before gesturing to the crowd.

 

“You are on my reality show called Inanimate Insanity! And in this show, these contestants compete for the prize of one million dollars! I'm the host, MePhone4! And this is my assistant, Mepad!”

 

“Don’t forget me, mistah phone! I'm your assistant too!” Toilet adds proudly.

 

MePhone just sighs before talking once again.

 

“And then there's toilet. But all that aside, I told you everything I know. Now tell us about you. It's the least you can do for crashing my show, you know.”

 

You glare at him before shoving him away.

 

“Fine. Not like that was very useful information anyways.” You clear your throat before speaking again. “My friends and I were testing a machine that lets us travel worlds. The portal destabilized. This was the only exit. I crawled through. And now I’m stuck here—looking like THIS—until they fix the machine. Happy?”

 

Everyone is staring at you like you're the crazy one now. Not that you're surprised, it's not every day that people are popping into existence. And it looks like MePhone might be the first one to talk before the test tube speaks up and excitedly walks over to you. 

 

“THAT IS AMAZING! A functional interdimensional travel device!? One that adapts your form to local biology!? Do you have schematics? NOTES!?”

 

She starts inspecting every inch of you—hands everywhere, lifting your arms, tapping your limbs like she’s checking fruit at a market. 

 

You gently shove her back. “Hey, whoa, calm down. I don't have anything like that!” You sigh a bit before continuing. “I helped with the basic building of the thing, but all the technical, sciencey stuff was left to my friend. I didn't take any of that stuff with me since I didn't know the portal was gonna eat shit like that.”

 

She pouts for a millisecond—then beams again.

 

“Well, golly gee, that makes it all the more INTERESTING!”

 

“Uhh, how so?”

 

“Because, assuming you're telling the truth, that means there's a way to get back to your world! And I can be the one to make that bridge! Plus, you not being from this world most likely means that your genetic makeup is different from ours, despite being turned into one of us. If I can find a way to isolate your original genetic makeup from our own, then maybe I can reverse-engineer the portal to get to your world faster! Maybe even improve it! Again, assuming you're telling the truth and you're not just crazy!”

 

You look at her, confused. You could barely understand Lucas when he spoke all sciencey, so understanding her was already a losing battle. But you do understand that she can get you home if Lucas can't. And that part makes you happy. 

 

“Wait, really? Could you actually get me home? Ha! Haha! No way, thank you!”

 

You lift her up in a hug, even spinning her around in excitement like she weighed nothing. Which she really didn't, despite being a giant test tube with liquid inside her.

 

“Haha, it's no problem! But this does mean you're going to have to stay close to here. You're the closest thing we have to get a machine like that working. And please put me down.”

 

You put her down with a small smile on your face before a quick sorry. 

 

“Sorry! But that's not a problem; it's not like I really know where I am. I may be able to take care of myself, but I'm not about to make any more enemies.”

 

Before you can respond, MePhone wedges himself between you two and swings an arm around your shoulder again.

 

“Well, if you're staying around here, then it's not gonna be for free. We don't need another contestant at this point, and you're not a really compelling guest-”

 

You mumble out an offended little, “I think I would make a great guest, actually.”

 

He ignores that comment and just keeps talking.

 

“And plus, you did crash my show, making this episode take longer. So in return, I think you will make a great assistant for me! MePhone4! How's that sound? It's the least you could do.”

 

You stop dead.

 

“…What.”

 

You just stare at him in disbelief. But before you can articulate how stupid an idea that is, MePad leans in.

 

“Are you sure about this, sir? You already have two assistants, do you really need another one?”

 

“Well, you're more or less a co-host and toilet is well… toilet. I think it would be great to have an actual, and competent, assistant.”

 

He mumbled out the ‘competent’ part, but regardless, you couldn't believe what you were hearing! You shove him away again before growling and snapping at him.

 

“I AM NOT AN ASSISTANT. I am a trained fighter. A weapon specialist. I am NOT some assistant! And I'm especially NOT working for a phone.”

 

MePhone snaps his fingers. “Assistant AND bodyguard! PERFECT!”

 

He struts off before you can even think about strangling him.

 

“I'M NOT A GUARD DOG EITHER!!”

 

“I think that all works out! Welcome to Inanimate Insanity! Now, let's get this episode started already!”

 

MePhone just keeps walking away as Toilet follows him. MePad does too, but not before giving you an apologetic smile. You, though, are standing in disbelief. You didn't know what you were expecting to happen but being an assistant was not one of them. 

 

“I'm going to kill that phone.”

 

The knife comes over, patting your back. “Don't worry, we all want to strangle him.”

 

And with that, they're all walking away with small greetings and words of shared hatred for MePhone here and there. Test tube is the last one, only saying:

 

“I'll get to work on that machine as soon as I can. The last thing we need is any casualties while you're here.”

 

And then they’re gone.

 

Leaving you alone in the field where you first “poofed” in.

 

You’ve fought monsters. Survived worlds. Lived through hell.

 

And now?

 

Now you’re an unwilling assistant on a reality show hosted by a smug cellphone.

 

You stare into the sky and mutter:

 

 

“This might honestly be the worst adventure of my life.”

Notes:

And here's the second part! That concludes intros for the most part, so now we can get to the fun stuff! Hopefully. If people even want more.

I'm not that good at writing so let me know what y'all think! Mainly because I don't proof read so if it's bad that's a y'all problem.

I got a lot of ideas for this so if you do want more then let me knoooww.

Chapter 3: First Day Of Your New 'Job'

After your well-deserved crash out in the field, you decide it’s probably a good idea to finally head toward wherever everyone went. The last thing you need is to end up lost and alone in an unfamiliar world.

 

Well… more lost and alone than you already are.

 

The path opens into a surprisingly small stage setup—more like a mini arena than a real one. A compact platform. Stadium-style seating. Barely enough room to count for the show, but somehow just right for this world of walking objects, since everyone who matters is already seated.

 

Looking towards the stage, you see MePhone and MePad standing front and center, side by side, addressing the crowd like they’re running a trial. You catch fragments—elimination… missing darker half…—but none of it matters. You're only here because the quicker this circus wraps up, the sooner you can talk to Test Tube again.

 

Still, it’s hard not to listen when they announce they're getting ready to hand out prizes. Even in your own world, you’ve always liked these shows. It was a guilty pleasure. Might as well enjoy the free entertainment. If only MePhone weren’t hosting—otherwise you might’ve enjoyed it.

 

“Now it's time to give out the prizes! Sticks! We got a lot of votes, so we decided to make it special!”

 

You can’t hold back the laugh that bursts out of you. There is no way he’s serious!

 

“Sticks!? Ha! You’re kidding, right? Please tell me that’s a joke!”

 

MePhone clears his throat, irritation clearly present on his voice.

 

“I'm being completely honest! That's what my show deserves after all. Also—reminder—assistants only talk when spoken to. So. Quiet.”

 

You scoff. “Funny. I thought I was your bodyguard, too. And interesting how he”—you jerk a thumb at MePad, who’s still politely waiting—“gets to talk whenever he wants. So why can’t I?”

 

MePhone glances over at MePad, then lets out a short, nasal laugh before turning back to you.

 

“First of all, thrilled you’ve finally embraced your bodyguard role. Growth is beautiful. Second, MePad is trying to reveal the votes. So zip it, and let us run the show.”

 

You growl at him before rolling your eyes and leaning against the stage. You just keep reminding yourself that the sooner they can get this done, the sooner Test Tube can get to work on your portal. And the sooner you can get away from that phone.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

Thankfully, the elimination is short. Boring. Predictable. Except for the part where the lightbulb wins a stick… and eats it.

 

You’re not sure if that’s impressive or horrifying.

 

The cherries end up eliminated. MePhone opens a portal behind them like it’s nothing. But before stepping through, they turn for a heartfelt confession—they admit they were the ones who blasted Marshmallow into space last challenge, not Box.

 

You squint.

 

Are they… serious?

 

Is any of this serious?

 

MePhone interrupts the moment with a groan.

 

“Ok, cherries, just get into the portal.”

 

Now it's your turn to be annoyed.

 

“Dude, let them talk! They just got kicked out! They’re reconciling! Let them have their moment.”

 

“I would, but I have a show to run,” MePhone fires back. “We’re behind schedule thanks to your dramatic debut. And heartfelt scenes tank the ratings, so let’s keep it moving.”

 

You're gearing up for a full verbal takedown when—

 

 

 

 

FWOOOM!

 

 

 

 

A black circle blurs past you and body-checks the cherries into the portal like a homicidal bowling ball. A white circle springs up and immediately starts arguing with him. Yin and Yang, you guess based on the bits and pieces you gathered from the previous conversation.

 

Their argument escalates until the black one proudly announces he plans to kill everyone before sprinting off.

 

You stare, jaw dropping.

 

Then you swing toward MePhone.

 

He…

 

Is just standing there.

 

Watching.

 

Doing absolutely nothing.

 

That causes you to snap. 

 

“UM, HELLO? Aren’t you going to DO SOMETHING about that, you sorry excuse for a ho— MMF—!”

 

MePhones’ screen turned teal for a brief moment as he snapped his fingers, a gag appearing in your mouth.

 

He sighs contentedly.

 

“Ah, the sweet sound of silence. I should’ve done that a while ago.”

 

Your muscles coil instantly.

 

Oh, he’s dead. He’s actually dead. You just met this phone, and you’re about to end him.

 

You kick off the ground, ready to lunge straight at MePhone’s stupid smug screen—

 

 

 

 

FWIP!

 

 

 

 

MePad teleports directly into your path, blocking your advancement towards Mephone. Before you can even twist away, Toilet barrels in from the side, adding his weight to the blockade.

 

You thrash viciously, muffled snarls ripping through the gag.

 

MePad, unlike his boss, actually sounds like he cares.

 

“Hey—easy, easy,” he says softly, bracing you but not hurting you. “Just breathe, okay? You’re overwhelmed. Let’s slow down.”

 

You fight harder, but MePad only tightens his hold a fraction, calm as ever, while Toilet clings like a panicked toddler trying to stop a tornado.

 

MePhone, meanwhile, doesn’t spare you a single ounce of sympathy.

 

He just watches. Smiling.

 

That smug, glowing, infuriating smile.

 

Then his attention is back to the contestants, tone snapping instantly back into chipper host mode while you’re still fighting against the two-object restraint squad, swearing through the gag that the second you’re free, you’re going straight for the phone.

 

“Now! On to the challenge!”

 

His screen brightens theatrically as he throws his arms out.

 

“It’s a triathlon!”

 

While MePhone rambles on about the challenge—breaking it down piece by piece and getting the contestants to choose their roles—MePad and Toilet stay focused on calming you down. Well, MePad tries to calm you down. Toilet mostly lectures you for attempting to maul MePhone on the spot.

 

Still, between the two of them, they manage to get you settled enough that MePad feels safe stepping back and allowing you to remove the gag. Toilet gives you one last stern look before declaring you sufficiently scolded and wandering off, leaving you alone with MePad… who wastes no time breaking the silence.

 

“That was quite the scene you stirred up,” he says gently. “Would you like to talk about it?”

 

You glare. “Like I’m going to talk to a fucking tablet about my feelings.”

 

“I don’t know,” he replies evenly, “it might be helpful. If it weren’t for Toilet and me, MePhone would be in pieces right now.”

 

“And frankly,” you snap, “I think he’d deserve it. Bitch shoved a gag in my mouth for ‘talking too much.’ If it were up to me, I’d put my fist through his screen.”

 

“And that,” MePad says with the patience of a saint, “is exactly the kind of behavior we can’t allow. You will have to be civil with him if you’re going to remain here. He is the one in charge.”

 

You scoff harshly. “I’m not one to be ‘civil.’ Especially not back in my world. You wanna know why? Because I don’t take shit from anyone, and I speak my mind no matter who’s in charge. Why do you think so many people want my head on a stake? And as for me being here? This wasn’t exactly voluntary. If it was a choice, I wouldn’t be an assistant or a bodyguard for some knock-off reality show host.”

 

MePad sighs, the kind of sigh that says he knows you’re right. You didn’t ask to be dragged into their world, didn’t ask to crash the show, didn’t ask to deal with any of this. But you are here, in their world, and the rules aren’t going to bend for you.

 

“I understand,” he says quietly. “But at least try. Pretend to be nice, if nothing else. You’re in our world now, so you must play by our rules—or at least pretend to.”

 

You can’t help the small, reluctant smile tugging at your mouth.

 

“Heh, you know, you sound just like one of my friends back home. Always trying to get me to be nicer. Never works, but the effort’s cute.”

 

You sigh, long and begrudging.

 

“Fine, I'll try and play by your rules to an extent. But if that phone pisses me off, then I'm giving him a piece of my mind, got it?”

 

MePad’s smile softens just a little more at your reluctant agreement. “If you try, then that’s all I can ask for.”

 

“But don't expect me to be happy about it, got it.”

 

“Noted.”

 

Before you can respond, MePhone’s glitched-out screech cuts through the air. Both you and MePad turn just in time to see him drenched in water, glaring daggers at Toilet before kicking him straight into the pool.

 

“IT’S MEPHONE!”

 

You snort—loud, unfiltered, absolutely unapologetic. Poor Toilet… though after the lecture he gave you, you’re not exactly overflowing with sympathy. MePhone, on the other hand? Yeah. Zero pity. None. Not even a pixel.

 

Toilet resurfaces, sputtering apologies and explaining that some of his toilet water spilled into the pool. The soap contestant literally runs across the surface of the water to escape the contamination. Even MePhone recoils.

 

“Toilet! That’s disgusting! Get out now and get me some wires!”

 

Toilet perks up despite everything and happily hops out of the pool to obey, dripping all the way.

 

You cross your arms, smirking. “You know… normally I’d feel bad for that happening to someone like Mephone. But for him? Nah. Hehe. That felt like karma.”

 

MePad’s screen flickers as he turns slightly toward you. “Please don’t encourage violence against him.”

 

You shrug. “I said karma, not violence. There’s a difference.”

 

The look MePad gives you says very clearly: There is, in fact, not a difference.

 

You just chuckle a bit at his expression. “Agree to disagree.”

 

You don’t even notice MePhone approaching until he’s already in front of you and MePad—silent, dripping, and radiating glitchy irritation. He looks up at MePad and jabs a finger at him.

 

“You. Go watch the contestants.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

MePad gives you one last, reassuring smile before heading off—good timing, too. Yang has just hurled Yin directly at Knife, and Knife is not handling it well.

 

“And you.”

 

His attention snaps to you.

 

Ah. Here we go.

 

“Go get me a towel or something.”

 

He glitches out again and holds his head in annoyance.

 

“I need to get dry before this water fries my electronics. And get me something to sanitize myself with while you're at it, who knows what that toilet has floating around in his water.”

 

You cross your arms, letting a slow, amused chuckle slip out.

 

“And why would I do that, hm?”

 

MePhone mirrors your stance, annoyance carved into every pixel of his screen.

 

“Because you’re an assistant, and assistants do what they’re told. And actually, you’re a bodyguard too. Which means you were supposed to guard my body from this exact situation.”

 

“Ah, ah—wrong.” You wag a finger. “I never agreed to any of that. You decided that.”

 

“You agreed when you crashed my show,” he fires back. “Now go.”

 

“Which I didn’t mean to do,” you remind him with a shrug. “It was an accident. And no, I’m not going anywhere, because watching you like this—” you gesture at his soaked, glitchy form “—puts a smile on my face.”

 

You flash him your own proud, self-satisfied grin. You may have promised MePad to play nice, but you never agreed to play fair. And MePad’s not here to hold you back anyways.

 

“Plus,” you add, “you put a gag in my mouth with a snap of your fingers. I’m sure a big, powerful host can get his own stuff.”

 

“A host doesn’t ‘get their own stuff,’” MePhone snaps. “That’s what the assistant is for. You are for. And anyway…” He leans in closer, screen glowing with a dangerously smug tilt. “I have your only way back home. So you should be very inclined to listen.”

 

Your smile drops, and your jaw tenses.

 

He smirks wider.

 

“Because I can make sure you don’t get that. And I can make the time you have here a living hell. How's that sound? Hm?”

 

You shoot him a death glare.

 

“You're lying.”

 

A soft, glitched-out laugh.

 

“Maybe,” he hums. “You wanna test and find out?”

 

You would. You really would. Testing limits is practically a hobby. Breaking them is a skill. But that was back home—where the risks made sense, where the consequences were predictable enough for you to gamble on.

 

But this?

 

This is his world.

 

His rules.

 

His control—at least for now.

 

You hate it.

 

You hate him.

 

And you hate the fact that the smart move is the one you want least.

 

So you grit your teeth and growl out a stiff, resigned:

 

“…No.”

 

MePhone immediately brightens—literally—his screen flickering into cheerful clarity as another glitch rattles through him as he backs up.

 

“Perfect!” he chirps. “Now run along. I’m sure there’s a towel or something by the pool.”

 

“Wha—?! You were just over there! Why didn’t you grab one?”

 

“Because I knew it would annoy you.”

 

He reaches out and boops the spot where your nose would be if you had one.

 

If your blood wasn’t boiling before, it’s a full rolling volcano now.

 

You swallow the rage, grab his arm, and yank him forward.

 

“Fine. But you’re coming with. I’m not walking all the way back here just to hand-deliver you a fucking towel.”

 

MePhone laughs, perfectly pleased with himself as he follows.

 

“Fine with me. A bodyguard is supposed to stay close anyway.”

 

You groan so loudly it echoes.

 

You’ve been in this world less than a day, and you’re already fantasizing about the portal.

 

Or killing MePhone.

 

Honestly, either works.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

The walk to the pool is mercifully silent—exactly how you prefer him. You spot a stack of towels at the lifeguard chair, grab one, and immediately chuck it into his face.

 

“Here.”

 

He peels the towel off, utterly unbothered.“Wow. No care or anything? You really are a bad assistant.”

 

You roll your eyes and lean on the lifeguard chair. He’s mostly dry already—glitching reduced to the occasional spark—and the fact he even needed a towel is laughable.

 

“I’ve never been an assistant,” you mutter. “And I never claimed to be good, hotshot.”

 

“Maybe you should start learning, then. Based on what you said earlier, you’re gonna be here a while. Plenty of time to improve! And who knows—maybe you’ll be the perfect assistant by the time you leave! Haha!”

 

Oh, there it is.

 

There’s the urge to commit phonecide.

 

You raise a fist, fully ready to put it right through his screen—

 

But MePad appears again, intercepting your punch with flawless timing. You have no idea whether to be pissed or impressed.

 

“Hello, you two! I hope everything is all right. Sir, the challenge is nearly finished—you may want to get ready to announce the winner.”

 

“Ah! Thank you, MePad!”

 

MePhone bumps you with an elbow on his way out.

 

“See? You could learn a thing or two from this guy.”

 

He tosses you one last smug smile—practically glowing with satisfaction—before walking off.

 

You flip him off without hesitation, your own little parting gift.

 

MePad knocks your hand down as he gives you a look a disappointed parent would give to their child.

 

“I thought we agreed to you being nicer.”

 

“I was trying!”

 

“You were about to punch him. And you flipped him off!”

 

“Ugh! It's not my fault he has a shitty personality and a punchable face!”

 

MePad sighs like he’s aged thirty years.

 

“I understand that, but you still can’t take your anger out on him.”

 

“Easier said than done.” Arms crossed, you look every bit like a disgruntled child refusing to cooperate.

 

“I understand you're hard-headed and you have some anger issues that need to be addressed-”

 

“Hey!” you snap, offended.

 

He simply continues.

 

“—but whether you like it or not, MePhone is your boss for the foreseeable future. So you might as well pretend to wear a smile and not use him as a punching bag.”

 

You groan, dragging your hands down your face. You hate bosses. You always have. That’s why your life—your real life—worked: no one above you, no one barking orders, no one expecting you to bow your head and behave.

 

But this world?

 

But this world? It keeps flipping everything upside down. Stealing your control. Your autonomy. Your stability.

 

It’s exhausting.

 

Your thoughts are spinning, and MePad seems to notice. He kneels beside you, voice gentle, posture softening.

 

“I know this is a difficult adjustment,” he says gently. “And, if it makes you feel any better, I’ll be by your side. I’ll admit… MePhone can be a bit much.”

 

You snort. “I just met the guy, and even I think that’s an understatement.”

 

“Maybe I can act as a buffer, at least until you two get comfortable with each other.”

 

“That’s some wishful thinking, MePad. Me and that phone don’t seem to mix too well.’ Oil and water at best. Nukes and gasoline at worst.”

 

“Maybe so,” he says, rising to his feet, still smiling. “But it’s nice to hope you two might someday get along.”

 

Before you can respond, a scream pierces the air.

 

MePad flinches.

 

Before your brain can process anything, your body rockets into motion. You sprint toward the track where the noise came from, instincts firing, MePad rushing close behind.

 

You reach the track, breath sharp, ready to shout and ask what happened—

 

But before the words even leave your throat—

 

MePhone darts over and slaps his hand over your mouth.

 

“Shhh! The race is about to finish, and your yelling might ruin it!”

 

You scream into his palm, muffled fury vibrating through your teeth.

 

In your struggle, you catch a blur—Fan gliding through the air and landing perfectly at the finish line.

 

MePhone beams, pushing you away like garbage he’s done holding, and jumps right into his announcement.

 

“Team Bright Lights wins!”

 

You stumble backward—but MePad catches you again, steady and calm, grounding you while the contestants descend into their usual chaos. Bickering, arguing, complaining. You half-listen, mostly focusing on not decking MePhone the second he turns his back.

 

Finally, the elimination spiel wraps. MePhone pivots toward you with a smug grin plastered across his stupid screen.

 

“Wow! You actually hauled ass over here! Granted, you weren’t far, but getting from the field to here that fast? Impressive! Good to know.”

 

Your eye twitches.

 

“And why is it ‘good to know’?”

 

He throws an arm around your shoulders before you can dodge.

 

“Because it means if I’m ever in trouble and you’re not nearby, I can yell for you—and you’ll be able to rush to my aid. Just like a good bodyguard should!”

 

You growl again, but he's already moving his arm away from you and ushering you away.

 

“Now go, the episode is over, so you're not really needed at this point. But I'll call you once your

services are needed again.”

 

You want to argue. You want to fling him into the nearest pool.

 

But this might be your only chance to get away from the bastard.

 

You take it.

 

Immediately.

 

You make a beeline toward Test Tube.

 

And during that walk, one thought is running through your mind.

 

Home.

 

Well, that, and how MePhone would look with his screen cracked in.

 

You just hope you can get home before that point.

Notes:

And done! For this chapter at least. I'm hoping to get more interaction with Mephone in the next chapters, but my storytelling isn't the best, so bear with me.

And P.S., I wanna thank you all for all the love this story is getting! I really wasn't expecting it! I thought this was just gonna be me putting an idea out there, it only getting a few reads, and then not really going anywhere and dying within a few days. But y'all proved me wrong and have been wanting more, so now I must deliver!

I only want the best for you guys, so some chapters may take longer than others, and I will apologize now for that and warn you that this story will take a while to finish. I really only thought of the beginning and some major turning points. I never thought past that since I didn't know how well this story would do. But they will come out! And thank you for sticking through! I will finish this story even if it kills me!!

P.P.S. I'm bad at heartfelt 'Thank yous', but really, it means the world that people like my story enough to want more. <3