Chapter Text
“Sometimes in your life you will go on a journey. It will be the longest journey you have ever taken. It is the journey to find yourself."
– Katherine Sharp
We can never control the course life takes us on. You just have to learn to adapt and roll with it.
I thought of that as we continued down the road. The trees seem never ending and no life yet.
“How much longer?!” Yuka sighed as he took his headphones off and stretched. He had a mess of black hair on top of his head and an olive skin tone. His small eyes rolled as he yawned and looked at our mother expectantly. She looked back at him from the driver's seat and laughed airily. She was the most beautiful woman in North Slope Borough. Her hair was braided back and over her shoulder, long and black like ink. Her olive tone glowed with almond brown eyes.
“We are almost there. I swear you’ll love it!”
“Dad did talk about his home a lot.” I looked out the window and frowned. He had been gone for 6 months. A stroke they said. I sighed and turned back to see her looking at me saddened before pasting a smile on.
“He did. And you’ll get to see your cousin Brady!” He put his headphones back in and finally saw the sign that let us know we had entered Forks. The city was small and spread out. After passing the town square, we followed the road until we ended up surrounded by more trees.
After some time we finally entered La Push. We turned off the highway onto a dirt road and finally stopped in front of a small 2 story house. It had red paneling and brick. I saw a small window up top and we got out of the car. Aput pushed past my legs and wagged her tail as she ran around the lawn. I giggled as she stretched her legs from our drive. The 3 day trip was more exhausting than Yuka and his annoying questions. We entered the house and the bareness overwhelmed me for a moment before I went up the stairs. I saw there was only a room and a small bathroom to the side. The room was average in size with a nice sized closet. The white walls and dark wood flooring contrasted. I’ll have to paint them.
“This is my room!” I came out and walked back down the stairs to see my mom was in a bigger room that had its own small in-suite and my brother in the room across from hers. Aput was running around sniffing and I grabbed her and walked outside.
“Mom! I am going to grab some paint!”
“You know where to go?” I frowned and pulled my phone out.
“There’s a Forks Outfitters 30 minutes away.”
“Okay, take your brother. Here’s some money.” I nodded and smiled smaller before yelling for him to come on. We got in the car and started driving. Even though it wasn’t the snow I was used to, the trees blending together brought calm to me.
“Do you think mom will be okay now?” I saw him looking at me concerned and smiled small.
“As long as we listen to her and help, she will be fine.” He nodded and started playing a game on his tablet. For being 12 years old he was always so compassionate and understanding. Well, when he wasn’t being annoying. We pulled into the parking lot and hoped out. I locked the doors as we walked across and grabbed a cart.
“Don’t go too far away, Shoofly.” He stuck his tongue out at me before venturing off to the toys. I ventured around and saw the aisle for paint and took a look at the colors available. My wall was lilac at home, but I wanted to do something different. I stared at the strips for burgundy and the multitude of shades within it when I heard someone clear their throat.
“May I help you?” I turned and looked to see a guy with blonde hair and a wide smile. He looked to be around the same age as me and I noticed him looking me up and down before getting a little closer.
“Umm, maybe? I am trying to pick out a new shade for my room.”
“That's a pretty color, what about this one?” He grabbed another strip and it was a boring beige color. I frowned and shook my head before turning to him.
“I think I’ll go with this one.” He nodded and took the strip from me in order to mix the paints.
“So, new here?” He leaned into me as the paint mixed.
“Yes, we just moved in today. Still have to wait for the truck to arrive later today.”
“You need help? I mean I’d be more than happy to help you settle in.” I saw his cheeks rose over and sighed internally.
“We should be good.” He nodded dejectedly and then turned to get the paint and ring me up.
“I’m Mike by the way. In case you change your mind.” I smile small and nod before adding the 2 buckets into my basket.
“I’m Sakari. It was nice meeting you.”
I turned and made my way back to the toys and saw my brother not there. I kept going until I reached the books and saw him sitting on the floor with a comic book in his hand.
“Come one, let’s get some snacks and go home.” He smiled and grabbed 3 books before putting them in the basket.
“Jane called and they are going to host a party on First beach for us.” I moved back from the wall and put my pictures down. After painting, our stuff finally showed up. I had my desk set up in a corner and my bed against the wall under the window. The burgundy worked with my eclectic furniture. All the things made by our people. I felt my heart thinking of leaving everything behind. My mentor and friends, but it was for the best.
“When?”
“She said the elders wanted us to have time to settle, so tomorrow night. It's going to be a bonfire.”
“I’m surprised she isn’t already downstairs telling us the rez gossip.” My mom laughed loudly and shook her head.
“What would your father say?”
“ ‘Janie, your mouth runs more than the water that feeds our sacred lands.’ “
We laugh more and I see the distant expression in her eyes. I turned back and sighed before sitting down.
“It will get better Ookpik.” I nodded and watched her leave slowly. I sighed and moved over to my desk. I looked at the herbs and roots organized on it and hesitantly placed a hand on it.
‘The spirits are leading you down the path you have asked them for. I have taught all that can be from our ancestors. You must listen and let them guide you.’
The shaman’s words echoed in my head everyday since the funeral. I had reached out asking for them to show me my path. The lost feeling eating at me and making me feel as if the world had been swallowed whole. I looked at the trunk at the end of my queen bed and closed my eyes before getting ready for bed.