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It was a stupid thing to admit in front of a bunch of single high schoolers, and normally, Seokju would've known better than to let his mouth run, but this time, the situation had a variable. That variable was Ijin, because he was the one who asked the question. And god knows Seokju lets his guard down around that man.
"Are you dating anyone?" Ijin asked out of blue, as he tended to. Everyone in the group looked at him, all of them with a different expression on their face. Seokju shifted on his feet uncomfortably, this question being as unexpected as everything about Ijin.
Yeongchan chuckled softly, a sweat bead running down his face. "Obviously, not. My reputation is that of a white pebble on a playground," He said, making Jaehyung even redder with anger.
"Gah! Stop thinking so lowly of yourself bro! If the girl knew how good you are with a keyboard, they'd line up to date you!" He tsk-ed and only when he got an unbelieveably disgusted look from both Seokju and Hyeokjin did he get a little embarrassed.
"Or.. guys, whatever you want..."
"You're unbelieveable." Hyeokjin said, second-hand embarrassement written all over his face. "And disgusting."
Disgusting? Seokju watched Hyeokjin frying his friend with his gaze only, suddenly feeling a little defensive. Why?
"Because Yeongchan might like guys?" Ijin asked and basically voiced Seokju's own thoughts. He was clearly confused about what this was about.
That question itself made said friend turn a deep crimson, fidgeting all over.
"N-no Ijin you misunderstood-"
"No! There's nothing wrong with that, obviously!" Yeona said and her face went from blazing rage directed towards Jaehyung to overly sympathetic when looking at Yeongchan. "You'd still be our best friend and a champion of Legends of League!" She said and formed finger hearts at him.
Seeing how Yeongchan was prone to blow up any second, Seokju put a hand on Yeona's shoulder and said in a low-voice: "Maybe a little less supportive. I don't think that was what Yeongchan was worried about."
Their friend excused himself for a moment, probably to go cool himself down and Hyeokjin elbowed Jaehyung.
"Go and apologize, moron, or he might actually explode somewhere,"
That left only the five of them in the circle around Ijin and Yeongchan's desk they usually formed. Yeona sat down next to Ijin, who pondered over something for a second and then looked at her.
"What about you, Yeona?" He asked casually, spiking a very intense reaction from the girl.
"Me? Dating anyone? Nonono, I'm not, obviously, haha, What about Hyeokjin? He didn't answer either," She said, making both the adressed and Seokju cringe.
How much more obvious could this girl be... Either way, when Seokju looked at Ijin, he didn't seem to catch a hint or anything. His gaze was locked on Hyeokjin now, waiting for an answer. Seriously, what was he thinking about to miss all the hints about Yeona crushing on him? Seokju sighed internally. Seeing this hopeless situation made his chest twinge, both with an unfamiliar feeling, and sympathy for Yeona as her lifetime friend.
Hyeokjin nervously chuckled—Who wouldn't under that intense gaze of Ijin's, to be honest?
"Me? How could I when I'm constantly hanging around you two?" He gestured between Ijin and Seokju before he continued talking. "You guys keep stealing all the girls' attention—not that I'm surprised—so there's little to none left to poor common fellows like me and Jaehyung," He said, answering in his missing friends' stead.
"I see." Ijin said, a crease appearing in between his brows. It was barely visible, but Seokju's sharp eye caught the little bastard that ruined Ijin's normally steel-proof composure.
"And you, Seokju?"
Caught by surprise after watching that only minor imperfection on Ijin's face, he looked directly into the teen's dark eyes.
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't read anything in them. With that little crease in Ijin's brow, he could at least tell something about the guy, but without it, it felt like he watched Ijin through a tinted glass. Even during the SW training sessions, he couldn't deduct anything about Ijin. It seemed that he had a perfect control over his expressions, emotions. Heck, did this guy even feel? Obviously, Seokju knew the answer to that. Of course he did. Back when his sister got kidnapped alongside Yeona, it was as if a dam broke—this mysterious classmate of his, who seemed completely pulled-together had such an intense emotion reflecting in his eyes it shook Seokju to the core. It wasn't fear, but anger, rage, determination.
Looking at those same eyes now, he wouldn't believe they belong to the same man.
"I'm not dating anyone. I've been Yeona's guard for as long as I can remember, and because of all the mess she's been pulled into, I haven't had the time to even think about kissing anyone, let alone dating." He explained to Ijin, but instantly felt a tinge of regret when he noticed the guilty look Yeona had. He was sure she always blamed herself for tying him only to herself like this even despite his best efforts to assure her that he didn't mind.
"Not that I mind really-"
"YOU HAVEN'T EVEN KISSED ANYONE!?" Jaehyung re-appeared out of the blue with a shocked expression, making numerous heads turn towards them for making noise.
"Don't yell!" Yeongchan hushed him lightly, taking notice of the slightly embarassing situation. They got closer together and after Yeongchan assured them all of his well-being and Yeona that he didn't mind her taking his place, a small moment of silence settled between them.
"Really, Seokju, you haven't even kissed anyone? Not once?" Jaehyung poked again, this time significantly more quietly than earlier. It seemed that Hyeokjin wanted to hush him, but nor he nor Yeongchan actually did it. Seokju blamed it on curiosity, but he understood. Being hit on by multiple girls, yet not ever sharing a kiss with anyone? Strange for kids their age for sure.
"Not even with Yeona?" Yu "unpredictable" Ijin asked, making both Yeona and Seokju choke on air. "WHAT? NO!" They both said, looking at Ijin, whose innocent eyes widened at the sudden raise of their voices. Then they looked at eachother and franctically apologized to not take it personally, because- Just how unprofessional was that?
"How did YOU even think of that?" Seokju asked, baffled. Either Ijin was completely shameless, naïvely curious or unintentionally akward. Maybe all at once.
Ijin shrugged. This little-
"To be fair, bro, you and Yeona are attached by the hip, so an accusation such as this is not really un-called for..." Hyeokjin admitted, looking away. Seokju was absolutely baffled.
Shameless teenagers... How could he possibly ever think of kissing Yeona? She was quite literally his only friend before, and he thought of her more like a sister due to the familiarity of their families. Kissing or showing her any kind of romantic affection would be...wrong and he had a feeling Yeona felt the same. Besides, Yeona had a crush to worry about now and Seokju... Had his own things to figure out.
The look with which Ijin watched him for the rest of the day was the strangest one, and yet not generally different from his usual, he's ever had on his face. Whatever idea that boy's mysterious genius brain was initiating, it couldn't presage anything good.
Seokju didn't get to confirm his suspicions until later evening, when they were in the SW training room, undergoing yet another one of their coach's arduous training specially designed to improve their weaknesses.
Since Yu Ijin joined team 3's trainings, the atmosphere in the gym switched completely. The guys getting tips from Ijin, later to remind him to drink water after a training and inviting him all over for food and fun. Seokju watched it with pure amazement each time. Ijin, the most quiet human being he's ever met in his entire life, made all these adult men so fond of him without using anything else but mutual respect. Everyone noticed that since THAT first session, he'd been holding back (unless it was an externist) in 1v1 matches. Yet he never boasted about it, never once lectured the others about the imperfections they had nor using under-handed tactics to humiliate them. Unless they asked for tips they couldn't even fanthom where the teenager gathered them, he wouldn't point out mistakes. He respected their seniority as much as they respected his strength.
Seokju was caught in a trance, watching Ijin diligently following the instructions at hand. His eyes were focused on nothing in particular, but concentration could be read on his face. He could beat the entirety of SW's men with effort, but he still went through the same training as they did.
Seokju was absolutely stunned by the dedication, even after voicing he had no intention of joining the SW ranks. Sweat glistening on his forehead, slight blush in his face... If it were under any other circumstances, Ijin could represent a completely normal teenager, talking to a pretty girl or something.
There it was. A slight tug in Seokju's chest.
He tore his gaze away from Ijin right at the moment the watched returned a look. One of the many reasons Seokju paid so much attention to Ijin throughout the day was that horrible, horrible jealousy gnawing at his chest. Nobody had any idea what Ijin went through, where he got this good and under what circumstances, but that didn't change the fact that they were the same age, yet Ijin was completely out of Seokju's league. It made him feel inferior, despite doing significantly better at school than the latter. He felt inferior, despite handling the training just fine. He felt inferior because he could almost feel the disappointment his family emitted after seeing his incompetence as Yeona's personal guard. But even then, he couldn't possibly hate, or blame Ijin for this. That guy was going through his own stuff, and Seokju's lability to protect Yeona and his dignity had nothing to do with Ijin's skills.
Some are meant to be on top, but that also meant there would be those in their shadows, never to reach them.
BAM!
With a thud, Seokju fell on his ass after failing to calculate the strength needed to do a pull-up, the bar inevitably slipping from his grip.
"Seokju, you good?" A fellow teammate asked, having watched the spectacle. Seokju swiftly got up and lowered his head in apology.
"Yes, sorry. I got lost in thought." He said, noticing that other teammates also dropped what they were doing to look over. Great. Just what he needed— To humiliate himself in front of his teammates.
"You and lost in thought during training?" One of them summarized, quite surprised.
"Getting 'lost in thought' might cost you a life in real danger, Seokju. Take five to recompose yourself.
Everyone else, carry on with your work!" The team coach said, loud and clear, definetly deciding of Seokju's fate.
How embarassing. A rookie mistake, book-example of how to fail your job! If father catches wind of this, he might pull him out of the project and...
"Here," A familiar voice sounded and a water bottle nudged his shoulder.
"..." Seokju looked at Ijin, who watched him from above, his extended hand holding the watter bottle as an offering.
"Thanks. But don't get in trouble because of my incompetence," Seokju said, getting a hold of the plastic bottle. However, it didn't fall right into his grip.
"Incompetence?" Ijin questioned, his eyes and expression devoid of emotion, except for that speck of something Seokju would guess was confusion.
"Yes, my inability to even train properly. Can I take this?" He explained, finally taking the water bottle in his hands. The other boy seemed to be thinking something over, that damned crease making its appearance again.
God, maybe it was defeat, embarrassement or guilt that twitched in Seokju's gut, but he tore his eyes away from Ijin. He couldn't watch this again, get no hint about what the crease means and just carry on. Not today.
"Are you free after training?" Ijin asked, his face back to its default emotionless composure.
"What?" Seokju asked, now being the one who's confused.
"What could you possibly want to do at 10pm in the evenin-"
"I'm scared to walk home alone."
Seokju's eyes widened in shock.
"What."
"I'm scared to-" This shameless bastard!-
"I heard you the first time! I just can't believe you would be so-"
"Seems like both Seokju and Ijin are feeling better now. Get back to training you two, no slacking off!" The coach's voice resonated through the gym, making Seokju straighten his back immediately.
"Yes coach!" They both called, Seokju getting up from the bench he sat on and Ijin's look hardening.
"Wait for me after training." He said, that sole sentence making a shiver run down Seokju's spine.
Secretive donkey... What was he planning and why use such a lame excuse? Again, Seokju had no other choice but to carry on and see. If anyone asked, he'd say he was annoyed but deep down, his heartbeat fastened in anticipation.
40 minutes. Exactly 2400 seconds had Seokju waited before Ijin walked out of the changing room, unbothered and with a relaxed expression.
"Are you serious, what took you so long!?" Seokju said in disbelief, the evening chill gnawing at his bones already.
It was already the end of April, but the cold was still merciless.
Be it Seokju's imagination, but he almost felt like Ijin whipped a nano-smile.
"I had to shower. And dry my hair." He said with not even an ounce of shame and carried on, taking a place at Seokju's side to walk alongside him.
"Seriously, you might be even worse than Yeona..." He huffed, but put his legs to work.
They walked in silence for a while, taking a route through a busier part of the town, then through an unfamiliar path to the pier, where Seokju's cup had finally overflowed.
"Why are you intentionally dragging this out?" He stopped in his tracks, waiting for Ijin's answer. The boy in question also halted in his steps, facing Seokju and directly looking at him.
"I noticed you've been acting unusually absently," He said, offering nothing further until the moment Seokju's gaze got colder.
"My grandpa says that a walk alongside the pier might ease your mind and clear your thoughts. So I thought it might be of help."
Oh.
Oh..
Of course Ijin would notice something was amiss. Nothing escapes his eye.
"And the internet also suggested to do this when you want to ease someone's mind."
Seokju took a deep breath, then exhaled and thought about the situation briefly.
"So you purposedly made me wait on fresh air, then took me out on a walk because you were... worried about me?" He summarized.
"Correct." Ijin said with a completely serious face.
"..."
That alone made Seokju break. First, a soft chuckle escaped, then a louder one and before he knew it, he was laughing. It was the pure kind of laugh, the sincere one you give when on the brink of desperation or fondness. For Seokju, he wasn't sure which one was it, and neither did he remember when was the last time he'd laughed like this.
When he looked back at Ijin, he showed (!!) surprise, his eyes a little wider, his cheeks more flushed (Seokju accounted that to the evening chill) and a single wrinkle between his brows.
Now Seokju could guess what it meant— Confusion, Reservation. Ijin was thinking.
"Thank you, Ijin, that's seriously..." Seokju started, but he couldn't tear his eyes from Ijin's. This moment, expression, was to be remembered forever. He smiled. "...helped."
As he finished that sentence, the crease in Ijin's face slowly disappeared, but a new shocking expression formed; Yu Ijin smiled back.
Aside from surprise, Seokju felt warmth spread all over his face, if not his whole body. But he wanted to keep that smile on his friend's face, so he kept it up himself.
"What else did the internet say, how else would you soothe my mind?" He asked.
It wasn't every day that Ijin actually used the internet for personal matters, as he learned not long ago, so this meant he must've done a serious research and Seokju was more than willing to hear him out.
"It said..." Ijin started, went a step closer, making their few cm height difference more obvious, then hesitated.
What?-
He took Seokju's face into his hands before inching closer, making eye contact just before their lips brushed against eachother.
Seokju's world stopped. In that moment, his heartbeat sped up rapidly, even more blood rushed into his face and he felt nothing else but Ijin's stupidly soft lips on his own and the intense, yet absurdly gentle gaze with which he looked at Seokju with.
The moment lasted only for a while, and when Ijin separated them again, he accidentally bumped their foreheads together. It was as short as it was messy, but it was theirs.
Seokju was sure he was going to implode, explode or whatever else was possible.
Ijin Yu kissed Seokju Koh. Because he was worried about him and wanted to comfort him. Ijin Yu's lips are soft.
Gods above they were SOFT.
Seokju Koh liked when Ijin Yu's soft lips touched his. Seokju Koh liked Ijin Yu's lips. Seokju liked Ijin.
Oh no.
Oh no no no.
"Seokju?" Ijin asked, watching him for this whole realization.
"Do it again." Seokju said.
"Are you-"
Fuck it.
Seokju grabbed Ijin by the collar, watching him with burning intensity.
"I said, do it again. Kiss me." He said, and so Ijin did.