Finding Something New

by RainFrog42

Summary:

I'm not sure how to write this summary, but I wanted to look deeper into the complicated emotions and relationships that Bryan goes through in the Park, especially with his PTSD and dealing with hallucinations, he hasn't had time to spend with his friends.

Notes:

I'm posting only a short written form just to see how well it does on here. If it doesn't do well, I'll still do it only for me because I like to see where it ends up:)

Chapter 1

A crack and a hitch came from the brunette as he stretched his back; sitting down all day doing desk work has stunted the poor man's back. Bryan sighed as he trudged to his room, wanting the tedious day to be over with and just relax in his room. He punched the code in his hotel room and went inside the darkened room, save for the moonlight filtering through the balcony. He collapsed on the full-sized bed, pressing his face into the plush cushions while letting out a deep sigh. Filtering through tons of paperwork and trying to maintain being a good Ceo really drained Bryan. He hadn’t had any time to allow his brain to relax and decompress. Thoughts of him being a failed business owner were constantly drilled into his head, with how he manages the park, the anitromics, the finances… it continues to build and build like a weighted bridge begging to break.

Bryan pressed his face deeper into his bed, trying to allow the soft fabric to overtake his bundle of thoughts. He knows he needs to change out his tattered work clothes, but the energy required to do so has already been wasted in the comfort of his bed. He might as well just sleep in them. He’s done it before and he can just wash them in the morning. The moonlight continued to shine into his room, hitting the darkest corners as the full moon rose high in the sky. Bryan raised his head slightly to observe it, watching as some stars tried to peak through its misty glow. He remembers that Lefty would occasionally ask if the moon was made out of cheese, to which Bryan says no, it’s made out of rock.

“That's what they want you to think,” Lefty whispered, winking at a confused Bryan. He chuckled at that memory. Lefty always knows how to brighten the room that he’s in, prompting why he’s considered Bryan’s favorite. There are times when he is serious though, like when the Pizziera was about to shut down and Lefty criticized Bryan for not taking care of the place. His smile soon faded at the disappointment in Lefty’s eye, seeing hurt, worry, and irritation in his face. He knows that Lefty never intended to hurt his feelings, though that interaction left a stain in his brain about how he should handle things in his new position. Anger and hurt began to build in his eyes: all the emotions that he’s been pushing deep in the back of his mind are finally resurfacing. He grabbed a pillow and threw it in frustration, hearing the soft thud as it landed somewhere in the room. He wanted to scream, yell, to punch somebody for making him go through all these emotions, though he knew that he had no one else to blame but himself. All the idiotic choices with the portal and with Springtrap have led to everyone he cares about getting hurt and causing distrust in him.
“Were you trying to aim for me or the mirror?”

Bryan spun his head at the source of a deep voice. Learning against the open doorway with his arms crossed was Freddy, head tilted inquisitively with his somber frown, though instead of boredom and bitterness, replaced in his eyes were sorrow and kindness.

“Jesus Freddy, you scare me!” Bryan yelled. He could’ve sworn he locked the door, but knowing Freddy, he probably figured the code and let himself in.

“Sorry, didn't mean to scare you.” Freddy apologized, uncrossing his arms and closing the distance between them, not even asking if he could sit on the bed and just plopped right down beside Bryan, creaking the bed slightly but maintaining its hold on the brown bear.

“I didn’t see you for the entire day and was wondering where you were,” Freddy questioned. “You weren’t at your usual spots, so I figured you would be here.”

“Oh, right, right. Sorry Freddy, I got so caught up with work that I didn’t realise how much time had passed.” Bryan sighed; the tension in his back was starting to strain his spine.

“Have you had time to relax? I rarely see you outside of that office ever since that inspection happened.”

“No, not really,” Bryan admitted. He can’t remember the last time he sat down and let his thoughts be silenced; play some video games, spend time with friends, try out the attractions…

“Every time I catch one deadline, the next one is around the corner, a-and it's driving me insane. But if I stop working, next thing you know, I-I’ll be behind again.” Bryan hated the way his voice trembled every time he cried, making him feel he was constantly whining or complaining.

“Hey, hey. Breathe.” Freddy soothed, trying to mimic breathing techniques he saw on YouTube after Bryan’s latest panic attacks. Lefty showed him how to use it since he was not used to having a phone all the time. Bryan copied Freddy’s movements and allowed himself to breathe. He didn’t realise he was holding his breath until he felt the tight restriction begin to ease. As soon as the restraints were gone, Bryan broke down. Tears streamed down and heavy sobs shook through his body. Shock first took hold of Freddy at the sudden reaction, then immediately drew in Bryan for an embrace.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, easy now,” Freddy whispered as he tightened his hold on the sobbing owner. While physical affection isn’t his go-to when it comes to relationships of any kind, Freddy is willing to comfort those whom he cares about deeply. Minutes go by as Bryan continues to let all his frustration, anger, and anxieties out that have been building up for weeks. He was afraid that if he let any of them out for a second, he would spend who knows how long in his room just lying in his bed, endlessly repeating his failures and mistakes into a spinning blender.

“I can’t do this, Freddy,” Bryan spoke in a soft but tired voice. It was tinged with a kind of exhaustion of giving up everything, and it still wasn't enough.

“I can’t do anything right. Every time I make a smidge of progress towards the park, or even towards the higher-ups, they continue to see me as some mistake to the company. Jon, Davis, and even you guys say that every decision that I make is going to be my downfall.” He tightened his hold on the antitrontimc, not saying a word until Bryan finished.

“Maybe their right; maybe I should just stop. Doing all these tasks, decisions… none of it has any meaning if just from me. Maybe I should just…

“Stop.” Rockstar Freddy pulled Bryan out of his trace of self-hatred and made him look up, blue eyes showing concern and fear. He knows what Bryan is going to say next and he doesn’t want to hear them out loud yet.

“You are trying,” Freddy spoke slowly. “That's all we can do at this point. To try to be our best selves. I know I have been critical before about your decisions, and I am truly sorry for that. But there are times when you look before you leap, always taking risks and challenges that are too high for you to handle, and we worry for you. That's why we’re hard on you. Why I’m hard on you. You’re the only person standing between the park and being bulldozed into oblivion.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Bryan twisted from sorrow to anger and disgust. “Everything that I do is for you guys. To make sure that you are safe and well-taken care of. I don't want to see you guys get taken and turn into scrap.”

“I understand that, I do. But what happens if you don’t take care of yourself? None of those bosses will help you, and I highly doubt that Jon will take us in, even if you were gone and you ask him to. Anytime that we get hurt or damaged and are irreparable to fix, he’ll just replace us.”
“But each AI is special, and I love you guys! I don't want you replaced every time you guys break. I-I can fix you now. I know what to do! I’m not going to let you guys under someone else’s rule.” Those days in the pizzeria, when Springtrap would help Bryan and fix the animatronics. Another ploy to tamper with their systems and watch over Bryan with any questions or accusations.

 

“You guys warned about how dangerous Sprintrap was, about how he and Molten were tampering with the portal and spying on us. I didn’t listen and now my Pizziera is gone. I won’t let that happen again.”

“Springtrap was going to burn down Pizziera regardless of whether or not you had known.” Freddy pointed out. “He doesn’t care about anyone but himself when it comes to his goals. Believe me, I know.”

“True, very true.” Bryan sighed and collapsed on the bed, feeling as though heavy rocks were pressing against the back of his skull. He wishes that he could go back in time and gotten rid of the rusted trash bucket of an animatronic. None of this would have happened if he hadn’t gone to the vents and salvaged him, along with finding Molten as well. Then maybe he would still be in his pizzeria with everything and everyone relaxing and having fun. The memories being brought to life cause another sob storm to rise in Bryan’s throat, covering his face with his hand to hide his tears.

Freddy saw this and lay down next to him, placing his arm onto Bryan’s hand to soothe his cries. He wanted to give him some space, but acknowledged that he was here for him.

Silence had taken up the room, save for the crickets chirping outside, Freddy’s servoves mimicking breathing, and occasional sniffing and whimpering from Bryan as he tries to stop himself from crying before his headache gets worse.

“Have you tried talking to Jon about seeing that therapist?” Freddy’s voice spoke through after some silence had gone by. Bryan raised his hand to uncover his eyes, now red and puffy.

“No. I haven't had the time.” Bryan said in a tired, dissatisfied voice, rolling his body to the side to meet Freddy’s. “Plus, Jon is busy with work meetings and keeping me from going bankrupt. I already feel bad for him for doing that and I don’t want to worry him about me even further, just asking for his therapist.”

“Well, you need to tell him to get over it. You didn’t ask for him to cover for you and to constantly complain to you about it.”

“He’s a good friend, Freddy. Just have an issue. I know I have.” Though while he agrees with Freddy about Jon being more hot-headed when it comes to certain interactions, Jon is one of the few people he can rely on when it comes to dealing with CEOs and problems with his personal life.

Bryan can see through the barely lit room that Freddy was rolling his eyes at Jon's statement, but didn't say anything else.

“You still seeing Molten?” Freddy asked. “I know that you said you've been seeing him frequently.”

“I can deal with him now. Honestly, he's not as scary as seeing tons of paperwork towering over your head.” A dry chuckle escaped from Bryan’s throat at an attempt to make a joke, though it fell flat as Freddy’s face drew deeper into concern.

“You know it’s not normal to see dead people.”

“I know Freddy. Just.. humor me for once.”

“Kinda hard to do that when you've been seeing hallucinations of antrontimcs and becoming a workaholic to avoid your problems.”

I've been dealing with my problems, Freddy. I've been dealing since I got here in this park.” Irritation settled into Bryan at the thought of Freddy thinking he wasn’t doing anything with the park.

“I'm talking about mental problems.” Freddy’s clarified. “You've been using your work to distract yourself from your own mental health.”

“Heh, can you blame me?” Bryan scoffed. “It's better than drinking myself to death.”

“You don't drink,” Freddy stated, narrowing his eyes at Bryan. “Even if you did, it would be one of those fruity drinks.”

“You should’ve seen me in my college days,” Bryan remembered. “I would always come home to my dorm so drunk that I passed out on the bed,” he chuckled, reminiscing about his college days

“Did Jon say anything to you about that?”

Oh yeah, he did. When I woke, he would complain that I shouldn’t come home drunk and do all that partying, blah blah blah. Sounded like my parents.”

“You never talk about them,” Freddy realised. “You always talked about friends, but never about your parents.”

Bryan's smile was soon replaced annoyed frown. Brown eyes drifted away from blue ones as he curled further into himself.

“My parents… weren't really the best growing up.” he hugged himself and rubbed his shoulders to comfort himself. “They were always disappointed in something that was not related to their work or what plans they had for me. Both of them are top-notch lawyers and always believed that I should be one as well. When I told them that not what I wanted to be, they were furious and didn’t want to support my dreams. So, I left home, and I haven't spoken to them since.”

Another crying spell was about to take up in Bryan’s eyes. “Anytime that I’m failing or making mistakes, their voices fill inside my head, telling me that I'm doing this wrong or you’re failing all over again.” A shaky breath exhaled from the brunette, letting the hot tears flow onto his cheek and onto the bed. “I wish that… I could just sleep forever, and not hear those voices anymore.”

A shift from the other side of the bed and Bryan was engulfed in metal arms as Freddy embraced him in a gentle hug.

“You are more than what they perceived you as,” he spoke in a low voice. “Trust me, I know that feeling. Springtrap intended to make a killing machine after what he did to. Those old parts remain in me, yes, but I will not let them become my entire personality. “You don't have to become what your parents want you to because you choose a different path.”

Bryan lay his head onto Freddy’s, hearing him exhale a tired sigh, almost he had been holding onto this weight for a long time.

They stay like that for some time, hearing the soft motor of Freddy’s breathing and the occasional hiccups from Bryan trying to steady his breathing.

“Speak to that therapist, Bryan.” Freddy reminded, letting go of the sniffling man. “I can only help you as much as I can.”

Just as he was about to get up and charge, Bryan stopped him with a hand on Freddy’s wrist.

“Can you… stay for the night?” Bryan asked quietly, avoiding eye contact. “I just… don't want to be alone right now. You can sleep on the couch if you want and I can charge you in the morning.” Freddy hesitated; he was about to protest to make sure he gets charged in time, but seeing the depleted and exhausted look on Bryan’s face made him question his decision.

He sighed.

“One night,” Freddy quoted, seeing a small smile form on the owner’s lips before settling down on the couch.

“And change out of those clothes. They smell like ass.”

“Freddy Language!” Bryan exclaimed. Before Freddy shut down, he heard the drawer being opened and Bryan heading into the bathroom to change.

“Didn’t think you actually listened,” Freddy mumbled, hearing the door open again after some time had passed and heard the young man collapse on the bed.

“Yeah well, I'm not stubborn all the time,” Bryan grunted, wrapping himself around the covers

“Just shut up and go to sleep before I change my mind.”

End of Chapter 1

Chapter 2: Lefty

Bryan woke to the sunlight layering over his eyes, squinting as he adjusted to the now brighten room. He rubbed the dried remnants of his crying spells away from his face, cringing at how pathetic he must’ve looked when he was spilling his grievances to Freddy. No sooner than the animatronic was mentioned, Bryan looked at the couch where Freddy was, flipping through channels on Bryan’s TV. One of his ears flicked at the approach of Bryan, not taking his eyes off the screen.

“You slept pretty late,” Freddy spoke, feeling couch cushioned as Bryan sat next to him, yawning a response.

“What time is it?”

“11:30. And you snore pretty loudly.”

“What?! It’s almost noon?” Bryan hurriedly rushed to his dresser and checked his phone, looking at his reminders to see if missed a meeting or another coffee outing with Jon.

“Bryan, it's a Saturday. Your day off.” Freddy called out, raising his eyebrow at the confused young man.

“No, today is Frida..” He reopened his phone at the locked screen, showing the date that it is indeed Saturday.

“Oh”

Freddy shook head and abandoned his placement on the couch, already bored with nothing on TV.

“You need to actually relax Bryan.” Freddy acknowledged, watching as Bryan sorted out his clothes in his wardrobe. “If you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will.”

“Ughh, you sound like Lefty.” Bryan recalled, remembering how Lefty would scold him for not getting enough sleep or drinking too much coffee. Once he gathered his work clothes, he closes the draw and heads off to the bathroom to change.

“Speaking of which, where is he? Bryan called out to Freddy. “I haven't seen around the park since working on some stuff.”

“I think he mostly in his laugh house. He’s been asking about you.”

“He has?” Bryan was surprised. Most of time in their pizzeria days, Lefty would entertained himself with his “apps” and interaction with Molten. A sharp twinge of guilt cut through his heart at the mentioned of the twisted animatronic. While he hated Molten at the time with his cruel actions and words, Lefty managed to pull another side of him that broken and just wanted a friend… only for him burn alive in lava. He can’t imagine what goes Lefty’s head now that he has no else close to him to talk.

“Maybe I should go and visit him. I want to see how he doing after eveything that happened with Molten.” He finished combing his hair and spray some perfume on before heading out of the bathroom, seeing Freddy leaning next to the exit of his bedroom. “Plus I need to go outside and get fresh air. It feel stuffy in this hotel.”

“You’re already pastey as it is. Y’ll probably burn the moment you step outside” Freddy jokes, watching Bryan make mocked face at him as he leave his room.

“Excuse me Freddy, I happend to wear suncreen and lotion whenever I go outside.” Bryan pursed his lips as Freddy chuckled at him. They made their way downstairs to the outdoors, prompting Bryan to shield his gaze from the blaring sunlight.
When was the last time I been outside? Bryan questioned, waiting for his eyes to adjust. Since he has everything he needed in the hotel, he had no need to go outside, aside from food delivery and packages. He breathe in the fresh air, feeling the gentle breeze course through his hair and blazer. He can feel expanded of air different from the air condinted in the hotel.

“Maybe I should install a humidifier so the hotel is not so stuffy” Bryan commented, walking past the gushing fountain, feeling the gentle spray of the water graze his face.

“You’re going to pay someone to do it or you will?” Freddy responded, walking by the rollercoater plastered with face at the center.

“I’ll probably do it. It cheaper for me to just go to the store and buy one than having someone who wil overcharge me.”

“Do you think you can handle it ?”

Bryan face twisted into annoyance. He knows that Freddy care for him deeply, but he wish that he believed in him for doing things on his own.

“Why do you always think that I can do certain stuff?” Bryan asked in annoyacne, stopping just outside of Lefty’s laugh off. He can soft jazz playing inside. The large sign uptop overshadows the sunlight, causing a shiver down Bryan’s spine at the lost of the sun’s heat.

“I meant do you think you can handle it due to your mental health” Freddy answered slowly.

“I get that, but before you haven’t been supportive of any of my decisions. It make me feel as though as I’m an idiot.”

Freddy paused for a moment, trying to rephrases his words instead of just saying “you are an idiot at time and that why I worry.”

“Your decision worry me because it seem you don’t think things through and are strictly based on emotions instead of logic.” Freddy spoke at last. “I don’t trust people easily, and while I trust you with being my friend, I have a hard time trusting your decisions, mostly because of my own past and how you handle certain situations.”

He can see Bryan’s face soften at the mentioned of Freddy’s past. Bryan knows that Freddy seen and went through some horriffic events involving with Springtrap and Motlen. He doesn’t talk about it often, but when he does, Bryan can see the fear that plagues in his eyes, as if he was living through that moment.

Bryan sighed, knowing that Freddy will never intentionally hurt his feeling. One of the reason why Bryan adore Freddy is because he always true to himself no matter the situation. Not changing his personality or feeling no matter the person he is with, and staying true to himself. Bryan’s wishes he had that level of confidence and mentality.

Bryan nods at Freddy’s words, recalling how stubborn and hardheaded he can be when it comes to his friends.

 

“I just want to prove to you guys that I can do things on my own, without being judge or criticise for it.”

“People are always going to judge your decisions,” Freddy stated. “What matters is you stay true to your choices and take that criticisms with you that actually align with what you are doing wrong or right.”

Bryan nods again at this statement. He always been afraid of judgement due to his parent’s constant belittlement and involvement in his life, never being happy with anything he does or shame for him the littlest of mistakes.

“Sorry for snapping at you.”

“It fine. I know you dont mean it.”

Suddenly, the door creaked a little and the pair turned their heads to the sound. Lefty’s head was poking out of door, tilting his head at them with a goofy grin.

“I knew I wasn’t crazy when I started hearing voices!” Lefty spoke as he left his full body come to light. “I was sitting here writing jokes and starting hearing voices, and I was Welp guess I’m going insane now. Time to starting ascending to hell.

“Lefty, why would you go to hell?” Bryan questioned.

“Because i’m pretty sure that where Molten is obviously.” Lefty chuckled “I mean I’m pretty sure he killed mutiple people.”

“But why would you go to hell? You didn’t do anything wrong.” Freddy reaffrimated Bryan’s statement.

“Because I rather suffer in hell to be with my best friend than be lonely in heaven. That what really friendships about, Bryan.”

“I don’t think that possible, Lefty. If anything you just be turn off.”

“Can’t you let an animatronic dream? You know you can quite rude Bryan.”

“How am I being rude?! You’re animatrontic, you can’t go to heaven or to hell.” Bryan asked in bewilderment.

“That what I’m saying. You dont even realise you’re being rude because party poop on eveyone elses dream.”

“What?!” Bryan looked at Freddy with confirmation on Lefty is talking about. Freddy shook his head and pinch bridge of his nose.

“I’m not dealing with this right now, I’m going to go see Baby. I’ll see you Bryan” Freddy called out as he walked away from the insane conversation.

“Freddy! You can’t just leave.” Bryan yelled out, causing Freddy head to turn.

“I can, and I will.”

Bryan stuttered, before letting go of the conversation entirely.

“At least say hi to Baby for me!”

“Yeah yeah yeah.” Freddy shouted back before disappearing around a corner.

Pause for this chapter.

Notes:

Im still unsure how should the conversation between Lefty and Bryan go. Any suggestions? Hope you guys like what I have written so far!