Chapter Text
The first time someone saw you, they screamed. They screeched until they clawed their eyes out and all that was left was blood.
You filled their eyes with stars and sent them on their way.
That, really, is what all started this. You had just granted the wish to quite literally end all wishes, and had found your way to an unassuming Vauguarde since it had been the closest to the shore of your beloved island you had single-handedly erased. The person you never even learned the name of had been a sailor, and once you came crawling out of the sea they didn’t stop screaming. You didn’t know why, at first. Then, you remembered— Mortal eyes weren’t supposed to see you.
You… Probably should have been more considerate. Sometimes you wonder if things had turned out differently, it would have been better, that if you had just put on the facade of a human soon enough as to not hurt anyone—
But that was years ago. Not too long, but long enough for people to start forgetting about the beach incident. You’d say you fit in quite well, but you can never quite get enough of the strange looks and stares you’d occasionally get from passersby. When you forget to knit yourself together, get too comfortable within this skin made of space dust and people could start seeing the… Cracks. Sometimes, on bad days, someone would glance at you for only a second and just start screaming. The commotion that caused usually left enough time for you to scamper off into the crowd after gathering yourself.
Today, though? That didn’t happen to be one of those days. In fact, it was worse. Oh, it was so much worse.
It hadn’t been a particularly good day, your job hunting down sadnesses for the village you were staying in had gone a little bit awry—that said, you had gotten your stomach slashed open, and the Universe came pouring out. The sadness didn’t even need a swipe of your dagger, in the end—and it had put a little bit of a dampener on your mood. Not that you were in much of a good mood in the first place, having been wandering around aimlessly for years with no purpose other than to mourn everything you’ve destroyed. Everything you’ve destroyed but, in way, you had made uniquely yours. Colour, and your island, were two of those things.
Anyway, not a good day. You weren’t looking top notch, and you were a little bit frustrated with having your mirage disrupted. You’re sure you were unfurling, but didn’t care enough to fix it. And that’s when the screams started. First, it was at you, and then at something behind you, and you barely had enough time to dash out of the way before a very large sadness started wrecking havoc. You kept running. You told yourself you would come back later to help. There was nothing better to do, after all, but first you had to get yourself together. You were practically coming apart at the seams! The shock from getting ambushed by a sadness that you were very much supposed to have killed already was getting to you.
Then, the wind blew off your hat. Which was weird, because it wasn’t actually a hat, just a part of your mirage, but nonetheless you stopped and jumped several times to reach it with no results. It kept blowing in the opposite direction you were supposed to be running, and to your relief, no one had been behind you. So you ran after it. That hat was important, it was literally a part of yourself. It was made of everything you were; the Universe, the stars, the ink in between the light. You couldn’t let it escape you, who knows what would happen then? So you chased after it, well aware what you were running right into.
Except… Someone was fighting it. Multiple someones actually, three of them. You would take note of everything they had been wearing, the colours of their clothes, each individual shade, but no one else could. Why should you be able to do that? You decidedly ignore the lush green of the swaying leaves in the background, and focus in on the humans trying desperately to fight off this thing. Your hat blows right in front of the scene, and no one but yourself even takes note of it. They’re all too busy fighting.
Just for a second, you stop to look. Just one second, maybe less, really. Then you dash quickly and far too quietly past your hat, dagger in hand, and you enter the fray.
It was chaotic. Really chaotic. You… Didn’t really care. There was an objective, and that was all you needed. Save the humans. There was a glint of light from your dagger as you brandished it right before a strike. There was a squelch, a sob, and the creature in front of you no longer had the will to fight. You struck again. Again, just for good measure. Just to make sure that it really was dead, at least for now. Sometimes sadnesses had the habit of stringing themselves back together. Kind of like you did!
…That wasn’t very funny. That wasn’t exactly your goal, either, so whatever. You take a breath, in, and then out, calming yourself.
You gaze flicked back over to your hat, and you jog a little towards it before picking it up and setting it snugly on your head and making sure it sticks there for the rest of the time you’re alive. It must have come undone and blown away in the wind because you weren’t good enough with your mirage…
You start walking away, hands wrapped around your arms under your cloak. Another mess up, but that was just another day. Your entire existence was a mess up! Haha. Comedy genius, everyone. You tell yourself you’re speaking to the stars when you say things like that, but really, the stars are just you. You just talk to yourself, in your head.
a split second
Someone
touches your shoulder.
You spin around so quickly, dagger in hand, that you make yourself lightheaded for a moment. And, you realise soon enough that it was one of the people who were originally fighting the sadness. You take a breath in when you remember that, to look convincing, you had to do that. For the first time in a few years you actually seem present in the moment!
It’s panic. The present moment is pure panic. “S-Sorry!” You stammer, quickly hiding your dagger back underneath your cloak. “I didn’t—“
“No, really, it’s my fault! I should’ve called out, first, or—
You shake your head. “No, I wasn’t paying attention. It’s fine!”
Someone else, then. “…Are you done being a mess, Isabeau?”
He—you assume, anyway—gives a shy smile and a nod. “Yes Madame, sorry Madame. Uh, sorry again for scaring you.” He turned back to you, surprisingly. You make sure your mirage is extra put together so he really can’t see through it.
“It’s fine! It's fine, it was my fault anyway… U-Uhm, did you..?” You look hesitantly up to him, and stars is he tall. You wonder why you made your form so short, even if you know it was because that was really just average on the northern island. It was kind of embarrassing when faced with people like this, though.
“Oh! Right! We wanted to thank you for helping us with that sadness! That’s it, really.” He says. Kindly. You don’t think you’ve spoken to someone like this since… A long, long time. You kind of forgot how to act!
Luckily, someone else saves you from making even more of a fool of yourself. Someone shorter, and you can just sense the Change God all over this new person. Not directly, but clearly this person is in favor of them to a very high extent. Now you really can’t go messing this up! “We also want to repay you! Well, I do, anyway. Would you mind if we treated you to a snack, or something?”
Food? They wanted to give you food. That was just a plain waste of resources! You didn’t need food, you haven’t had any since you even came to Vauguarde, and you’re fine! You’ve spent thousands of years without food— It was a simple, human pleasure you were not to take part in. Food was sacred. You shake your head and wave your hands. “No, please, save your coins. It wasn’t that big of a deal, just a few lucky strikes! There’s really no need.”
“There must be something!”
You, once again, shake your head. There wasn’t any need for you to take anything from these people.
The older looking woman chuckled lightly. “I’d just let her get you something. She’s a stubborn one, and will probably keep bugging you until you give in.”
She just nods along to that with a sort of determined look on her face. Seems like the Change God picks her favorites well…
If there really was no choice, then. Might as well. “You can walk with me for a while, I guess. It’s been a while since I’ve had someone to talk to.”
You didn’t really want anyone to talk to. Less chance of you slipping up and hurting anyone. But if they insisted, humans were always fun to hang around. Unpredictable, scary at times, but fun. You loved these silly little creatures, you just wished you didn’t bring such chaos to them.
You and this new group you found yourself with eventually did take to walking down the streets, watching as people slowly started coming out of their shelters after realising that the danger was gone. The shortest out of the three started walking closer to beside you. “So, what’s your name?”
Briefly, you jump. Right! People from Vauguarde didn’t have the same traditions the island had with names— How are you still not used to that after all these years?! You suppose you had spent several hundred years on that island, but still. You’d think you’d get accustomed to that at this point. “Just— Call me Siffrin.”
It was a nickname, really. One that stuck.
“Well, Siffrin, I’m Mirabelle! And that’s—“ She points a little behind and to the side of her, where her companions were walking, “—Isabeau and Madame Odile.” Isabeau gave a little wave.
You wave back, nodding, before turning your attention back to Mirabelle. Humans had such fun names. Wait, people usually asked questions at this point in the conversation, right? Stars, you’re bad at this. “Uh, so what are you doing out here?” …That was awful. This whole conversation is awful. Only you could made a conversation this awful.
Somehow, Mirabelle didn’t seem to catch on to how bad you were at this. Success? “We’re on a quest!”
“…A quest?” You ask. A Change-given quest? No… Otherwise you would know. You’d be able to sense it on them.
Isabeau suddenly appears at your other side. You try very hard to seem like a human being about this, but even that takes effort. He nods his agreement. “We’re traveling around Vauguarde, partially because we need more firepower for what we’re trying to do! We also need evidence— to actually find what we’re looking for…”
Something about this screams red flag in the back of your mind. Your curiosity gets the best of you, though. You can’t help but ask. “What would that be?”
“Sathemis, the Dark Cloud! You know, the ancient evil god that erased the island to the north of us completely!”
…
Sathemis.
They… Were looking for… Sathemis.
You stumble and almost fall face first on the stone below before catching yourself.
Ha!
That. Was hilarious. They were looking for you!
How long has it been? Since you’ve heard that name?! A hundred years, maybe two? You don’t know. Sathemis, Siffrin, one in the same! Not that they would know that. Even you almost forgot, and you’re the person with those names!
This was unbelievable.
Absurd.
Your face contorts into a smile. “Really?” You say, voice cracking.
They’re looking for you. You.
Mirabelle stops. Has she realised it, yet? “You don’t believe us.” No, no she hasn’t.
You turn around to face her. Under your cloak, you can barely keep yourself together. You try, though, you try so hard. You don’t want to hurt them. “No, it’s not that, it’s just… I haven’t heard that name. In a very long time.”
They called you the Dark Cloud. You… Don’t know what that means. You all start up walking again, the mood somewhat dampened.
“So you know about the Dark Cloud?” Odile asks. She looks like a researcher.
You nod. Of course you did. “Yeah, I’m, uh, from the island up north…” You mutter. You miss it. You wonder why you can never refuse a wish, briefly, before shaking that thought away. “I’ve heard about Sathemis. Not really the Dark Cloud part, though.” It was weird saying your own name. But you did kind of have to learn more about this before you decided what to do. That was an important lesson you’ve learned, you’re sure it was from someone, but you can’t quite remember their face.
Odile raises her eyebrow at you. “Really? I suppose there would be cultural differences…” She started writing something down in her notebook. Or maybe she was writing in it the whole time? Either way, Isabeau and Mirabelle had started their own conversation behind you while Odile started asking even more questions. “Would you know anything about it other than that?”
You sigh, shakily, ducking into your cloak collar. What could you even say to that? Lie? Give them what their looking for? From what you’ve heard about the tales of yourself from Vauguarde, they weren’t… Pretty, like the islands tales were. You didn’t know much beyond that when you first came over to the country from the other side of the world, it was completely devastating, that you had blocked out the sun for years and shrouded their forests in mist that would serve only to distort the land and confuse the hunters. You don't remember any of that. You can’t even tell if it’s true or not.
With your track record, it probably was.
Stars, wait, you accidentally slowed down and now they’re all looking at you weird! You shake your head and plaster on what you hope is a convincing smile. “No, I don’t… Sorry.”
“That’s okay!” Mirabelle says, “You said you were from the island that no one can remember, right? I can’t imagine having my home erased by something like that… It must be awful!”
…Yeah.
Yeah, you can’t imagine that either.
“And that’s why we’re working to prevent that! Maybe we can get the island back somehow in the process!”
You stop dead in your tracks. “What.”
What do they mean ‘working to prevent that’?! Did you accidentally grant a wish that’s destroying another country?!
“…Didn’t you hear?” She asks you, looking concerned. “Vauguarde is being frozen in time by someone claiming to be the prophet of Sathemis.”
You have a prophet?!
…
THEY’RE BLINDING FREEZING VAUGUARDE IN TIME?!?!
“I’m surprised you haven’t heard of it.” Says Odile, pointing her pen at you. “It’s been all over the news for a month or so now.”
“I don’t read the newspapers…” You mutter. Vauguarde is being frozen in time! And, somehow, it’s your fault! Someone who knows you is using time craft or something to freeze an entire country in time, how in the blinding cosmic flux have you not heard about this?!
“Cool swears!” Isabeau remarks.
Did you say that out loud.
Whatever! You take a breath in, exhale, and do that a few more times until you’re calmer. In this instance, you’re very glad humans invented breathing. “S-So, how long ago… Did this start?”
You dread the answer. How long have you been ignorant?
“Just over a month.”
…Okay. Okay, you can deal with that. A month, miniscule to you because you’ve existed for millions of years at this point, but that was still a small amount of time to humans, right? You don’t remember. With how she said it, probably.
You nod. “How does this freezing work? Is it close to us?”
The three share a glance. Uh oh, that doesn’t look good! “Well,” Odile starts, “yes. Yes, it is rather close. It started on the edges of the country, from the shore to each border.”
You’re very close to the shore. Right next to Bambouche, you think! Close to it. And if it’s been a month?
“It’s just fully enclosed Vauguarde, and we think it’ll only get faster from here on out.” Odile continues, flipping through to earlier pages of her notebook as she talks. “Actually, I think people who want to evacuate the area will be leaving sometime from tomorrow to the next day. Will you be going with them?”
“I— Uh,” You don’t quite know what to make of this. You shake your head to clear your mind, and then look between the three people you’ve found yourself with. They looked… Kind. It’s the first time you’ve taken that in, really realised it. You always did think that humanity was beautiful. You’ve just been drifting along too quickly to remember. “Yeah, I guess I will be. And you— You three will be hunting this prophet and their God?”
…You try to separate the fact that you are that so called God. The islanders always did treat you like one, so it’s not as hard as it probably should have been.
They all nod. It’s confirmed, then. You’re over it now. From how things are looking, you have a sneaking suspicion about something. These people will be your end, won’t they?
Well.
You won’t be the one to stop them.
You give a smile. “I wish you the best, then.”
Mirabelle mirrors your smile with one of her own. “Thank you! What will you be doing in the meantime? It’s extra dangerous out, you know. Between the sadnesses and the freezing in time.”
“I’ll be fine. I’ve been traveling for as long as I can remember, so I’m used to it.”
It wasn’t a lie, either. You really have been traveling for as long as you can remember, from surrounding the planet and its first signs of life to concentrating your form tightly into this fake out and wandering the surface and its seas. Of course, there was that time from before that you knew happened in the back of your mind, where you weren’t quite conscious and part of a bigger whole. It’s too blurry with nebulae and stars for you to recall.
There’s a pause where no one talks for a few moments, and you’re left to pick up the clues. Isabeau and Mirabelle share what you think could be a concerned glance while Odile writes in her notebook, something you’ve already grown accustomed to.
Isabeau smiles at you. There’s been a lot of smiling in these past few minutes. “If you’re sure! Do you have any place to stay..? We’d be happy to buy you a hotel room or something.”
…These people are too kind for their own good.
You can’t help but laugh a bit into your cloak collar, hiding a far more genuine smile under it. “Seriously, I don’t need anything! Your company was enough. Good luck on your journey, maybe we’ll even see eachother again some day.”
“Maybe we will.” Odile says, eyeing you. Maybe it’s just in her nature to be suspicious of everyone, you wouldn’t blame her. The island was filled with plenty of people to be suspicious of.
“Bye, Siffrin!” Mirabelle waves at you as you leave.
You return the gesture. “May we look upon the same skies during our journeys!” You call back, mostly because you don’t know if you’ve ever learned any proper Vauguardian farewells. It’s not like you’ve been paying attention to most of your life in Vauguarde since arrival, either, so it’s not like you had any chance to learn.
You turn down the next road, cloak trailing behind you.
Looking briefly up at the sky, wishing so hard to no avail, you wonder what life would have been like if you’d never have come here. You sigh. Maybe it’s time you started living again; after all, it’s been almost 14 years since the island vanished. You should be over it by now.
Might as well spend your last few months here doing something fun.
~~~
You lay on a rooftop the entire night, staring upwards at the sky. There wasn’t much else to do at night. Everything was closed, you discovered after walking around for a little while. You remember when everything was closed during midday hours, back on the isla—
…
…You don’t want to think about the island. You push it to the back of your mind.
Anyway, the trees are green, the houses are surprisingly well coordinated colour wise for people who can’t see colour, and there are no birds anywhere to be found. Animals don’t like you. They never have. Something primal within them must know what you are, what you truly are, and stay far far away where nothing bad can ever happen to them. If there was a way for you to do that, you probably would have years ago.
During the night, you didn’t sleep. You can’t. You don’t know how, it never made sense to you how humans can lay down and shut off half their brains and slow their organs for so long and not just die. This planet was weird in that way, the fact that sleep existed at all. To you, it was useless. No way to do it, and you didn’t ever feel tired, so no reason to try and figure it out. Apparently, people said it was refreshing. It just creeped you out. No matter how many times it was explained…
You stand, and shake yourself off. There’s the sound of early risers, of some people just opening their shops. It is rather early. Maybe you should get moving, then? You don’t need to travel with the handful of people that’ll be evacuating, anyway, so maybe it was best to just pick a direction and start walking. Easily, you hop down towards the ground, and with quiet steps you make your way closer to the center of town. Maybe you’ll even be able to find a map, since you don’t actually have any idea where you’d be going.
…You pause. Not for long, just to look around for a split second, but you swear you can hear suspiciously loud voices coming from the direction that you were just headed.
Suspiciously loud familiar voices, actually.
Did you really manage to pick the direction that those three were going in, too? You walk on anyway. Maybe they won’t see you, you don’t make a lot of sound after all. Yesterday was enough social interaction for the rest of the year, really, you don’t need any more…
Tuning the corner, your thoughts were confirmed. The voices were clearer, now, too. They were talking about if they had enough supplies for all three of them, or something of the like. Unfortunately for you, you were spotted practically immediately. Well. You tried! You try to hide your nervous look under your head and behind the collar of your cloak.
Mirabelle was the first to notice you, waving a hand in a similar fashion as when you departed last night. “Oh, Siffrin!” She calls, drawing the attention of both Isabeau and Odile in the process. This much social interaction wasn’t exactly on your wishlist of things to do for the rest of your time on this planet, but sure! Why not! This isn’t nerve wracking whatsoever! She walks closer to you, and you stand there unmoving. “Are you going this way too?”
You sigh, choosing your fate. You nod. “I guess so..!”
“In that case!” Mirabelle exclaims, looking back at her companions, Isabeau giving a double thumbs up and Odile just sighing and nodding. You could relate to that sentiment, at least. “We could travel together for a while, just until the next town over. We have enough supplies for one more person!”
…You get the feeling that they’ve been planning for you to come along since last night.
Well, traveling with the people who’ll end up banishing you from this planet won’t be the worst thing you’ve ever done! It’ll probably be fine. The last time someone said that to you, they got a crab bucket stuck on their head and fell off the fishing boat they were on. You think they drowned. Funny how that works! Either way, you nod. “Sure, why not. Safety in numbers, right?”
“Right!” Isabeau says. “I think we’re all ready to go. If you are, that is,”
The only thing you need on your travels is the night sky to look up at. “That’s fine.” You say simply. You hope you don’t look too pathetic right now, that would be embarrassing.
He looks over you, a little confused looking. Actually, they all do.
…
…
Oh, wait, you don’t look equipped to travel at all! It’s probably weird that you don’t have any packs like they do— Stars! “Uhm, everything I need is in my cloak!” You say, flimsily. What else do humans do, again?! Sleep? “I also… Sleep in trees, so that sadnesses are less of a problem…”
…
Gold star for Siffrin, everyone! You try to smile like you’re not internally panicking.
Luckily, very luckily for you, they all nod in understanding. Except Odile, she just writes more notes down. Is she taking notes on you? “That cloak seems useful!” Mirabelle comments, dragging you away from that train of thought. You let her.
“It is,” You say, “it was made by a friend a while ago.”
You don’t elaborate. It wasn’t actually the exact one they made however many years ago that was, but it was a perfect copy made specifically to fit your mirage. After all, you can’t exactly wear clothes. Mimicking them is easier.
“Sounds nice.” Mirabelle smiles easily, and eventually she starts walking besides Isabeau and you let yourself fall behind the group a little, closer to Odile.
You listen to the conversation they have absentmindedly. You wonder, is this really what you’re doing?
Looking back up at the sky, you…
You suppose it is.
For some reason, it’s the most comfortable you’ve been in a long time.