Chapter Text
An endless sea of stars; with every step he took, more stars fell. They illuminate the sky in a soft tint of electric blue, much like the glow that every contractor emits when they use their power.
He dares not look back, and why should he? His sole reason for living is now in his arms. Frail as she seems, she gains solid mass with each step, her body transforming from ethereal to tangible. It is as if the gods are ensuring he doesn't back out of the deal, a pact she made out of love, their divine intervention manifesting in her transformation.
Hei adjusted his grip, pulling her closer as he continued walking, his heart aching with a blend of fear and love so intense it threatened to overwhelm him. He could wait a little longer. His legs moved on autopilot, unsure of where he was going, just knowing that it would be safe, far safer than the world they were leaving behind, and not the new world they could never reach. That was fine; after all, that new world was not for them, so they might have a world all to themselves or a brand-new place to explore where they could be free of everything.
His sister's star glows brighter the closer they get, far too bright for his eyes to bear. He holds Yin tighter against him and presses forward until the soft blue light swallows them. The never-ending light burns brightly until it slowly fades into soft, shimmering sunlight.
The warm sun trails down his back, and the cool ocean water soaks his sandal-wearing feet. He dares to open his eyes, squinting against the bright sunlight. In his arms is Yin's familiar weight; glancing at her, he almost drops her as he gasps softly. A painfully familiar blue and white sundress adorns her body, fitting well as he remembered, with a pair of white sandals loosely hanging off his arm.
He took in his surroundings—a vast view of the pure blue ocean—and his heart beat faster. A familiar building was off in the distance, looming over the horizon, casting long shadows. Hei's stomach twists itself into knots. They had stayed here briefly under the pretense of being a newlywed couple, so lost in the act of pretending that he let his guard down. A stupid mistake that cost them everything.
'If we kept moving, would it have changed anything?' Hei glances down at Yin.
"Hey! Is everything alright!" A voice shouts as a man wearing a lifeguard shirt with bright red shorts approaches them.
Hei blinks and turns towards the man, clutching Yin. "It's my wife! She fainted!" Panic laces his voice, and he slips into his Li personification. "Please help—I don't know what to do!" Genuine panic fills his voice 'Yin, please, I can't lose you again!'
Only then does he notice the other people dotted around the beach. It's not a lot, but it's enough for him to realize, maybe even hope, that it will be different this time. It's all a blur, but the lifeguard brings them to the air-conditioned hotel, where the same familiar people help them to their room, where they place her on the bed.
"Ai, you should take better care of your wife! Honey, fan her faster!" An elderly lady switches between scolding him and ordering her husband. "How could you do this to your wife? Ah, her poor skin! Look at her; she's red like a lobster!" She snatches the fan out of her husband's hand. "Quick, go get the Aloe vera cream, the coconut moisturizer, and the good sunscreen!" She turns towards him again. "You go start the bath! Cold, not freezing!"
He nods, still rooted to the spot. 'It's not like I will lose her soon after.' The room goes quiet, and blood rushes to his head. 'Right!? I can't lose her; the gods wouldn't be so cruel!' He stares at Yin; his expression must be pathetic enough for the older woman to stop before him. "It's okay. Her tone is soft. Your wife is fine. She's in good hands. Breath." She gently rests her worn, wrinkly hand on his shoulder as if he were a fragile boy made of glass. "Just breathe." He listens to her, focusing on the sound of her voice. Ignoring his instincts to slap her hand away every time her hand drifts close to his neck.
"How did you two meet?" Hei's brain is on autopilot as words tumble out of his mouth. "We were classmates at the same university, but we met at work. I worked as a cook, but I needed more hours." Hei could feel his face heating up, an involuntary action on his part. "The boss sent me to their convenience store at night to close the inventory and restock. She worked at the shop and lived in the flat above." Embarrassment swirls in his gut, but it's not his emotion. "The first time I saw her, she was in her pajamas." His voice cracks, and he stammers. "It… I. It wasn't sexy or anything!" He waves his hands in front of him like Li. It feels so natural. "It was like a grandma's with an ugly pattern, but she looked so cute." He rubs his neck. "She jabbed me with her white cane. And then her cat jumped on my face." He points to a scar on his cheek. He laughs weakly. "The rest is history," Hei says. "Two years ago, she fell sick, and we thought she had gotten better, so I thought this trip would be good for her…"
"Hmm." The woman moves back to Yin, gently fanning her face. "It's good that you worry about her. To have such a beautiful wife would have been a waste if you were nothing but a muscle-headed brute." She sighs, "But you are still a man who doesn't know what a delicate lady needs. This aunty will help you out." She waves her hand. "Now go and get the bath running."
Hei nods, moving to the restroom.
"Cool water!" she shouts.
The woman gently fans Yin's face, and she slowly stirs awake.
"Thank heavens. It's alright, dear." She places a firm hand on her shoulder. "Don't get up just yet. Don't worry; this auntie already scolded your husband." Yin frowned as if she were waking up after a nap instead of a two-year coma.
"Ah, what are you doing? Staring like a fool, go get water!" The lady shouts at Hei. If this had been the old him, he would have backhanded her so hard that her teeth would have become dentures. He blinks, his dark eyes still glued to Yin as if he were watching a corpse rise from the dead. Once he saw her chest's steady rise and fall, he finally tore his eyes off his Yin. Hei nods, grabbing a cold bottle from the mini-fridge. Opening it, he hands it to her, and she helps Yin drink from it.
"Slowly, there we go. You can go back to sleep, dear."
There was a knock on the door; Hei's hand twitched for the blade in its usual spot, only to find nothing, not even his wire. Her husband comes in, holding various lotions.
"I found them and even got some sunscreens, too!" The old man smiles as he places them on the counter.
"Good," the auntie nods.
'I can still kill them, should they pose a threat.' Hei blinks, 'An old couple is nothing.'
"Now, you help your wife into the tub and let her soak for a while." Then she glares at him. "I understand you are young and eager, but remember, your poor wife is small and delicate! You must not be so rough with her!" She sighed as Hei held up his hands in mock surrender. "We'll be back with some cold foods to help her."
The couple finally leaves them alone.
'She's just sleeping.' Hei stared at her chest's steady rise and fall; her soft breathing carefully lifted her into his arms. A sigh escapes him when she doesn't wake from her sleep. The bathroom door is already open, so he steps closer to the tub and gently places her in the cold water. Ignoring how the wet fabric clings to her body in all the right places, Hei turns, only for his knees to tremble. No longer able to support his weight, he falls onto the floor, landing on his backside. The impact rattles his tailbone, yet he feels nothing. 'It was a heatstroke…if only they knew the truth!' He thinks, and he laughs. 'She's practically been in a coma for two years.'
No one mentions anything; it's almost as if they can't see what he sees: bones visible under paper-thin, sickly gray skin, her body having eaten away any ounce of fat. Her once-vibrant silver hair was now dull and oily. The last time he saw her, she was slowly gaining weight and growing more human in his eyes. He glances at the clock across the room.
"It's only been twenty minutes," Hei mutters in a daze. "'Maybe it's those gods' ways of helping out,' Hei snorts. Staring at the ceiling, he focuses on the gentle breathing coming from Yin. A part of him knew he should guard them as this place wasn't safe, and the tub was enormous; there was a risk of Yin drowning. He reaches towards her, pulls her closer, and wraps an arm around her, acting as a makeshift safety bar. He turns his body, resting his head on his shoulder and staring unblinkingly at the woman he never thought he would see again.
Hei kisses her forehead.
For the first time in years, he fell asleep to Yin's soft breathing again.
Droplets of cold water fall onto his face, followed by a gentle caress on his scarred cheek. His entire right arm is numb. Dark blue eyes open, meeting soft violet eyes. The same eyes that hunted his dreams, tears blur his vision; he tries to blink them away, but his breathing turns ragged.
"Hei," her voice was coarse, yet it was the most beautiful sound.
"Yin. I'm right here, Yin." Hei whispered, afraid to scare her. He carefully pulls her out of the water, ignoring his numb arm, and into his lap, wrapping his arms around her, as cold water soaks into his clothes. Yet none of that mattered as Yin's arms wrapped around him as tightly as possible, and her soft muttering of "Hei" was answered with a firm "Yin." Soon enough, those quiet mutterings turned into soft sobs as they held each other.
After what felt like years' worth of tears, they pulled apart—not enough to break the hug, but just enough so Hei could see her face. Her pale skin, streaked with tears and bloodshot, sightless violet eyes stared back at him. He leaned forward until their foreheads touched. "Yin," he whispered, disbelief etched into his face. He desperately burned the sight into his memory like she would again fade from his grasp.
"Hei," Yin's voice was loud and clear as he rubbed the tip of his nose against hers. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"I'm never leaving you." Hei muttered, "I am not lying."
"I know." Their warm breath mingles as they lean closer.
The door opens with a slight whoosh; the weight in his lap and his hands wrapped around her are why Hei doesn't brandish his knife. Yet he does glare at the intruder.
"Ai, boy, what did I say?" the elderly lady scolds. "Your poor wife will never properly heal if you only worry about your needs!" She shakes her head. "Come now. I will lift you now, dear. Is that alright?"
Yin sneezes before she can answer.
"Oh no, a heatstroke and cold in one day! Not under my care!"
Before either can react, the manager carefully plucks Yin out of Hei's arms. Every bone in his body screams to attack, to get rid of the one standing between him and Yin.
"You clean up the mess! Honey, help him!" The lady shouts as she leaves with Yin.
"Ai, let me see," the elder mumbles as she wraps a towel around her. Take off your soaked clothes and dry up. I'll get you something comfortable."
The sound of the woman rummaging through what Yin can only assume is their luggage. Not that she knew what was around them; she could not feel her specter. Yin strips herself of the dress and, for the first time, feels what she can only assume is embarrassment; her face feels hot, and she wants to hide. "Ah, here we go! Let me just," the lady says. Then she puts something in her hand. "It's already correct; you just have to put it on. It's a nightshirt," she tells Yin. Yin slips it on, and an unfamiliar cologne tickles her nose; her face heats up. With trembling hands, she begins undoing her bra and removing her panties. More heat rushed to her face as she inhaled Hei's scent, which haunted her dreams, where everything went wrong. The woman moves around and picks up the discarded clothes.
Yin feels her eyes water and throat tighten as breathing becomes more challenging. She is trembling. With great effort, a broken "Hei!" makes it past her lips.
The bathroom door is thrown open, and Hei steps out, rushing to Yin. "What's wrong?"
Before the woman can interrupt them, her husband holds her hand and shakes his head. Then he turns to the couple and says, "Li, there is food on the cart; it's still warm. Make sure you both eat." The husband leads his wife out of the room. Neither of them hears the older couple leave. Yin's soft cries are muffled as Hei pulls her into his chest. "I'm right here," and "It was my fault for not listening!" are repeated into her hair.
The room is dark, with only their soft breathing echoing around the honeymoon suite. Hei's left arm is wrapped around Yin's waist, keeping her close, as she rests her head on his chest. One of her hands clings to the fabric of his tank top. In his right hand is his knife, shining in the moonlight, reflecting Yin's silver hair. Even with Yin in his arms, he still expects that blond bastard to break in, and everything to fall apart. As the moon climbs higher into the night, no one comes to disturb them. It isn't until Yin lets go of his shirt and slowly brings her hand up, brushing his cheek with a light touch.
"Hei," Yin mutters, snuggling closer. "I can feel my specter."
Hei sucked in a breath; he raised his knife, concentrating on the familiar pull; blue currents ran through the blade, but there was no blue aura surrounding him. The smell of burning plastic lingers in the air. Hei breaks the silence. "I can still use my powers…Do you want to try it?"
Yin shakes her head. There is a rumble from her stomach. Hei's stomach rumbles far louder. "Guess we should eat." He mutters. Yin nodded, her left hand tightly gripping Hei's shirt. "Yin, you have to let go of my shirt." Hei smiles slightly as Yin's grip refuses to loosen. "I'll be right here. I won't leave you," he whispers, kissing her forehead. "Alright." Yin's grip slowly loosened. Hei gently pulls away, rolls onto his back, and then sits up. His eyes have long adjusted to the dark, and he sees the food cart sitting there innocently enough.
Hei walks to the cart. Out of habit, he runs his fingers under the cart, and in every nook, he finds no trackers or bugs. Lifting the tray lid, he sees the plate loaded with breaded chicken cutlets, grilled corn, shrimp in a garlic sauce, and cucumber salad. Under the second tray, two small sides of cold soba with two kinds of sauces. Then, a rice cooker is in the center. Under the cart is a cooler stuffed with plump ice cream mochi, popsicles, and boba tea.
"Do you think you can eat?" Hei asks
Yin nods
"Alright, I'll just portion it-"
"Heat it all," Yin yawned. "I don't think I'll be able to eat much."
"Alright," Hei says, taking the plates and walking over to the microwave in the corner of the room. He puts all the food on one plate and starts the timer.
"Can I have water?" Yin asks, then adds, "There is luggage. "She sat up, stretching her arm and rubbing her legs.
"I am going to turn on the lights," Hei says, walking back to the bed and flipping the light switch.
The bright light from the nightstand fills the room, yet it still leaves some areas in darkness. The only extra items in the room are two large suitcases, two duffel bags, a backpack sling bag, a white backpack featuring anime characters, and an all-too-familiar telescope bag. Everything was as Hei remembered when they last stayed here, except for the bed. This time, it was a queen-sized bed right in the center; taking another look, he could see that the room was decorated in white and red. A large ice bucket, decorated with a pink heart, an arrow, and even champagne glasses, featured "Mr. and Mrs." in silver writing.
Hei avoids the bucket. 'Not touching the alcohol.'
The microwave beeped. Hei glanced at the suitcase, expecting it to move. When it didn't, he returned to the microwave and closed the door. He grabbed the cutlery and placed the hot plate on the second plate. He walked toward Yin, set the plate on the bed, and quickly cut the chicken.
"Do you want rice?"
Yin nods, "Yes."
Hei goes to the cart, opens the rice cooker, fluffs the rice, and fills two bowls to the top. Closing the lid, he grabs two chopsticks and returns to bed. The room is filled with the smell of food, and Hei is hesitant to give Yin the bowl. 'What if it's drugged? Or what if-' Hei closes his eyes and then breathes. "Here," he hands Yin the bowl, "eat what you can. I'll finish what you don't." He goes to the mini fridge and grabs two water bottles. He twists the cap off one, "Here's some water." He holds out the bottle and places it in Yin's hands.
"Thank you." Yin takes a long drink. She sighs loudly as if it's the best thing she's had all day. He can't help but smile. Yin straightens up.
"Yin?"
"My Specter, it's mine again!" From the water bottle, a familiar figure appears before them. The specter is even wearing the same nightshirt as Yin; it stares at him. Before, it had Yin's outline, but now he could see it was an exact copy, even down to her hair. The only exception was her eyes, which had the same blue hue as the rest of her, but they were looking directly at him. Yin blinked, and the specter did, too. "Hei." Both the specter and Yin called out to him.
Hei blinked. 'Was this an aftereffect of being separated? Or did all the dolls go through an evolution?' The doll reached out and gently caressed Hei's face. Hei moved on autopilot, smacking the ghostly hand away, expecting that thing to show up to take Yin away from him. His hand went right through it.
Yin and her specter mirrored one another as they stared at him with hurt-filled eyes. Yin curled inwards, becoming as small as possible, her specter retreating. "Sorry," Her voice barely a whisper,
"It's fine." He could not suppress the shudder that ran through his body. He wanted to comfort her, but wasn't he the one who hurt her? His brain is on autopilot. "Don't do that again." His tone is cold as he quickly cuts her portion of chicken into small pieces. "Here," Handing her the plate right into her hands.
Yin slowly begins eating; he, too, begins to eat; the sound of cutlery against the plates fills the silence. It reminds him of their first night at the resort. 'Is this just a trap? Another nightmare that will end the same as before? Should we just leave?' Hei thinks as he eats a second serving of rice, going on autopilot to the cooker and getting more. He fails to notice that Yin eats half an entire rice bowl and almost all the chicken cutlet pieces. Hei continues to eat the two bowls of soba and the remaining rice from the cooker.
His stomach still rumbles, but he ignores it.
"We can go get more," Yin whispers.
Hei's muscles tensed. He had gotten used to being alone and not hearing her voice. He blinked, half expecting her to fade. Yet, Yin stared at him, waiting for a response. He continued to stare, 'So beautiful.'
"Hei?" Yin calls out to him.
"I am fine. I'll look through the luggage." It's an excuse to escape; he can't hold himself back from doing god knows what to the woman before him.
Hei picks up the dirty dishes, stacks them neatly on the cart, and then turns to the open suitcase. He ignores the telescope; he's not ready to see if it's real. Carefully, he unpacks it; he finds about two weeks' worth of clothes: two swim trunks, a tux, a toiletries bag, a large beach towel, and underwear. At the bottom lie a familiar green windbreaker and a black trench coat. Hei ran his hands over the trench coat, the same bulletproof coat with a green inner layer. He relaxes as he lifts the coat, wanting to see if his gear is under it. A thick white album falls to the ground in the center, a morning glory. The photo album lands with a loud thud.
"Hei?" Yin's voice is full of worry.
"I am all right." Hei picks up the album and opens it; front and center is a marriage certificate named Li Shengshung and Li Kirsi. It was dated about a week ago and registered with the Japanese government. The witnesses' names are Huang Kuno and Mao Ricardo. Turning the page, he sees a picture of him and Yin, both in Western wedding attire. Huang, along with whom he can only assume to be Mao, is smiling. Even Shihoko Kishida is there, shedding some tears. Turning the page, a picture of them in traditional Japanese wedding clothing. The next page is of him and Yin kissing in front of a small cake with the words' Just Married.'
"We're married," Hei said as he flipped through the book. He glances towards Yin, whose face is confused and, dare he say, hopeful.
"For real, not pretend?" She asked, a soft blush on her face.
Hei's heart jumped to his throat. "Yes, for real," he hands her the photo album. "Here."
Yin takes the book, and she gasps. "There's braille on it," she says, slightly raising her lips. "I think I remember how to read it." Yin furrows her brows and pouts as she lightly moves her fingers over something.
Hei opens the second suitcase, finding two weeks' worth of women's clothing — perfect for Yin — and two bathing suits. He quickly puts those aside, along with the underwear. He also finds a bag of toiletries and a set of beach towels. At the very bottom was something soft and white; Hei lifted the fabric, and it slowly unveiled before his eyes. It was a smooth, sheer babydoll; the matching thong fell right into his lap as he held it up. Hei froze, glancing at the garment in his lap, then back to the one in his hands. Heat rushed to his face, as well as another place!
It had been so long since he'd had any sort of sexual thoughts. He believed it no longer worked. Before, when he had to seduce his targets, it did go up, but that was all part of the act; his target would be dead before anything could ever happen. It was easy for him to make it go up and down, but it was never for his pleasure or desire. It was because it was nothing more than another tool in his arsenal.
Even when on the run, those thoughts were nonexistent! Except when he saw her holding the baby. Even then, the only thought that crossed his mind was that Yin would make a good mother. The idea of who would father her child crossed his mind; he would be willing to if she so desperately wanted a child. It made perfect sense, as at the time, they were constantly on the move and unable to rest. If Yin were to look for a partner, they would put another person at risk. There would be no guarantee that the person would genuinely risk their life to save Yin, let alone an unborn child. He would gladly lay down his life for her and the child. Even if they did not love each other, he would do his duty as a father and protect Yin.
‘Stupid!’
He didn't even realize what he felt then, ignoring the implications of wanting to have a child with Yin, let alone how close they had gotten on the run from the syndicate. Having them act as newlyweds was no mistake on his part; it was just another excuse to hide his feelings, an excuse to be closer to Yin, hold her closer, and let his eyes and hands wander. To believe that they could have something just for themselves.
That they could be happy... for a year, he was happy in those few moments of peace.
After losing Yin, he drowned himself in alcohol and self-deprecating thoughts. In one of those rare moments of sobriety, he finally understood why he was so happy at the idea of Yin wanting children. He wanted them to be partners in a whole new way, to have living proof that he was capable of emotions, that he and Yin were ordinary people, too. A darker voice whispered, 'A way to tie Yin to you! A way to make sure she could never truly leave you! Not that it matters in the end." The voice snickers crudely, "All that talk of leaving her if he was the problem! Lies!' It laughs a twisted laughter that reminds him of Huang and Amber. 'You killed her!'
When those sorts of memories crawled to the forefront, it always ended with his rage taking over and drinking until the shouts became nothing but garbled noises, drowning in cheap booze and stomach acid. He could never escape the memories of all those soft moments he shared with Yin.
All thoughts led to Yin, which always ended the same way. Whether it was something innocent, such as cooking her food or watching her stand on the shore, he would watch as she gently whispered, "I love you." Like the pathetic dog he was, he chased after her, knowing what came next. She appeared naked before him, saying, "Goodbye, Hei."
Once, he had a sweet dream. Hei drank himself under, with his first paycheck on the most potent alcohol he could get. A mistake he never repeated. In that dream, he bared his soul to her, leaving nothing out and telling her of his previous relationships —a small list that included only Amber. Still, he swore up and down that nothing intimate happened between them, that he'd never had sex. It was more like he'd never had a reason to be sexually intimate with someone.
Yin, his angel, his white moonlight, would gently touch him. Soft hands that ran over his ruined skin felt electrifying, but at the same time, it was so wrong because it never happened. Yet, like a dog in heat, he gave in to it, leaning into her touch, going as far as touching her, letting his bloody hands taint her white skin.
Everything about her was an absolute contrast to him: her pure white skin, untouched by the sun, unlike his sunburned, brown skin; her petite body, which fit so well against his bulky frame that it could easily crush her. Long, soft, thick, silky hair always smelled of cherry blossoms and felt wonderful as he ran his fingers through it, unlike his long, dark, tangled, unwashed scraps of hair. He indulges in such a sinful dream that could never be; he would never get the chance to worship every inch of her body to make her his in body and soul, even if deep down he knew that her heart belonged to him.
For the first time in all his fucked up life, Hei wakes up with a sticky mess in his boxer. Stomach acid bubbles in the back of his throat, and he's curled on the toilet, spilling out acid until his throat burns. There is a strange sense of humiliation, guilt, and horror, knowing that he tainted the sweet and pure memories of his Yin.
Moments that were so few and far between in their hellish life as syndicate dogs, they were truly happy together. That's all he ever did; just fuck up everything and ruin what tiny sliver of good he had in his life. Even his memories were not safe from him. At the end of it all, it was easier to blame the alcohol for his behavior when, in reality, he was done with everything and everyone.
His existence revolved around Yin, and like a dog chasing an ever-changing scent in the wind, looking for its bone, he didn't care who he hurt as long as he got what he was after. Here she was, in a place he hated far more than anything, the same place where he stupidly believed there could be something more.
Could they be more?
It's all over, right?
They can be together and will return to being whatever they were trying to be. Right?
The dog had finally caught its bone; she was right there; he wanted to drown himself in her very essence, the same way he would drown himself in alcohol. He wanted to etch himself into her very being to tell her he loved her. He never stopped loving her, but did he deserve her?
Was he allowed to be with her? Was he allowed to share her happiness in this newfound freedom? Did she still love him? Even after he failed to keep his promises to her, even after he let her get hurt, she suffered alone for two years! Was he still the man she fell in love with?
He didn't even recognize himself.
Hei blinked; he had been staring at his bulge. He quickly put away the garment, shoving the rest of the clothes on top of it and forgetting its existence. He did not dare look at Yin for fear that he could see how well the pure white color would go with her silver hair. The lacy white thong still rested on his lap. 'What is this supposed to cover!? No, seriously, there are like three holes!' Hei thought, his face red. 'What if someone scammed her and sold her these pieces of string!'
"Hei."
Hei grunts as he shoves the garment into the suitcase.
"Mao wrote that he left us a gift." Yin frowns. "He's not a cat."
Hei glared at the floor, muttering, "Of course it was him." Then he glances at Yin in what he could only assume was his shirt, as the fabric hangs from her body. "He's human. I'm guessing we are too, but…"
"It feels weird."
"Yeah"
"Are you still hungry?" Yin asks, closing the album.
Hei glances at the clock, which reads '11 p.m..' "I doubt anything is open."
Yin nods, scooting towards the center of the bed. Hei stares at his clothes and his newfound companion. "Let me change. First," He grabs a pair of shorts and a tank top, then rushes to the bathroom. Stripping, he catches his reflection, greeted by his scarred body; he has well-defined muscles, still built lean and deadly, just as he had always been. Yet he carried old scars long before he became BK-201. He remembers everything about leaving home for Bai, training to protect her and himself. Then Heaven's war came, and he was marred in scars day in and day out. No amount of armor could help him; even as a contractor, he still got hurt. Blue eyes ran over every inch of his body, half expecting the scars to reopen. He had lost so much weight while on the run with Yin. Then, for two years, he relied upon booze and ate enough to keep hunger at bay.
Hei took a deep breath. "Is it finally over?" Rubbing his face, he glances at his ever-present friend. "Oh, right," he picks up his discarded clothes and slightly opens the door. "Yin, I am going to take a quick shower. Shout if you need anything." He closed the door before she could reply. "Alright, time to deal with you." He shook his head. "Cold shower it is."
Yin sat alone; the water had been running for a while now, and her hand itched to grab the water bottle and check up on Hei. She could not do that, not when he was in the shower. So she waited, gripping the duvet, while shifting her feet.
“It’s real,” Yin whispered.
And waited.
YIn’s hands slid under the duvet, shivering as her cold hands touched her bare skin. Yin carefully squeezed and pinched her skin hard. “It's real,” Yin tugged at her cheeks. “I am not asleep,” She muttered. “Oh,” Yin’s facial muscles moved into a smile, her fingers delicately traced over her own lips, and again she pinched her cheeks.
Something crashes beyond the room walls, and Yin jumps slightly. The door opens, and warm steam, along with the sound of water hitting the wall, fills the room.
“Yin?” Hei’s worried, filled voice cuts through it.
“I am fine. Hei,” Yin says as she grips the duvet, the water from the shower, and the droplet falling from Hei’s body sing out to her. For the first time in so long, Yin rejects the call; it would not be right to see Hei in such a state.
The door closes and the melody stops.
Heat rose to her face as a memory flooded her mind. The brief silhouette of Hei in his tank top, exercising, his muscles flexing as he did pushups in the old rundown apartment. A sweet droplet fell from his forehead onto the floor; another ran down his arm, following the curve of his biceps down to his forearm, landing on the back of his hand. Yin stared at Hei's long, thick fingers, then his forearms as he pushed himself up, freezing at the soft exhale. Yin blinked as a strange feeling of warmth filled her lower stomach. The bathroom door opened, and the scent of artificial pine needle soap filled the room. A new Warmth now spreads to her face as she looks away, listening as he moves around the room. The droplets of water were calling out to her, singing as they ran down Hei's body and his hair.
"Yin?"
Yin blinks, still unable to look up at Hei as the heat spreads from her face to her ears. The water droplets sing louder as Hei gets closer to her. Hei sits on the edge of the bed, drying his hair, listening to Yin with one ear open.
He sighs, mumbling something under his breath, then, loud enough for her to hear, "I'm..." Waiting for it to go to shit."
Yin finally stares up at him, nodding slightly. "...This is a nice dream."
He snorts, "A nice dream!" His voice comes out cold and bitter: "I haven't had one in years."
"So contractors do dream." Yin teases him. The bed dips as he moves closer, leaving just enough space between them so they're not touching, but close enough to feel each other's body heat.
"No, it was more like a nightmare." Hei turned to look at her. Even in the room's low light, her silver hair seemed to glow, giving her a soft blue halo. "A never-ending nightmare of the day you left me on repeat."
Yin goes quiet, her eyes downcast and brows furrowed. "I am sorry. I didn't want to burden you; I thought that if I were gone, you would be able to be happy…." Her voice trails off.
"Happy without you. Never."
The anguish in his voice caused Yin to look up. "I understand that now," Her thin hands gripped the fabric of the shirt she wore,"…but before, everything was too much… everything happened too fast…after I…" Yin pauses, flexing her hands and wiggling her feet and toes. "After I went dormant, I met Shion." She smiles slightly.
Hei’s stomach burned at the thought of another making her smile. Hei plinked as ‘She can smile on her own!’ He stared, wanting to keep that smile all to himself.
" He wanted us to make a deal with Izanami and Izanagi. He wanted to create a new world for his sister, and I wanted to be with you forever." Her hand moves towards him, settling on his knee.
Hei stiffens. It's been so long since he felt the gentle touch of another; the mere thought of hurting her shuts down the instinct to slap her hand away. Before she can remove her hand, he places his own larger hand on top of hers. "Forever," Hei mutters softly. "With our luck…" He trails off, and part of him doesn't want to jinx whatever sliver of good luck they had left. "How long will forever last?" Hei asks.
Yin tilts her head, glancing away from him. "I am not sure…" She bites the bottom of her lip. Hei cups her cheek gently, coaxing her to look at him. With his thumb, he rubs her lower lip, "Be careful; you'll hurt yourself," he mumbles, staring into her half-closed eyes. Her warm breath tickles his thumb, 'her lips feel soft.' Hei glances up into her sightless violet eyes. ‘Her eyes are so beautiful,' Hei thinks.
"Do you think forever will be until we no longer wish to be together?" she asks softly, her unfocused lilac eyes glance up at him through her thick silver lashes.
Hei still staring at Yin, his thumb on her lips, as he leans closer. "If that is what you want, when you no longer wish to be involved with me as a lover, partner, friend, or acquaintance." He swallows, his throat tightening. "You can be with anyone else if it brings you happiness." Hei grips her hand tightly as if she'll disappear once more. "I will back off."
Yin leans closer, following the sound of his voice. "Liar," She whispers.
Hei's eyes widened, and his hands trembled. "Yin…" His voice failed him as she pulled him into an embrace.
"Hei. I didn't give you a choice when I first told you to kill me. I am sorry for that," Yin says, squeezing him tighter. His arms embrace her as she continues, "I am sorry. I know I hurt you. I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you."
Hei's fingers dug into her skin. "Anything?" His voice cracks; he knows he's taking it a step too far. He can't lose her again after everything they've been through. The two years of hell, knowing that she loved him, and he was powerless to do anything to save her. Did she understand what he did for her? Hei would burn this new world if anyone dared to take Yin from him. Hei’s grip tightens around her petite body, squeezing her against him as if she’ll leave him again.
"Yes." Yin's warm breath feels uncomfortably hot against his face.
Hei swallows, but nothing comes to mind. No, the words he wants to say are stuck in the back of his throat. Hei just drags her down with him as he lies down, keeping her firmly on top of him. His arms loosen, giving her the choice of getting off him, yet she nuzzles closer to him.
"Hei?"
Hei inhales her scent; it's all too familiar, yet it hurts that he's forgotten it. The soft scent of coconut sunscreen, jasmine, and something else. It hurts how little he remembers of her! So, he buries his nose in the crook of her neck, feeling her pulse against his lips and relishing her warmth. He takes another deep breath; he can feel himself slipping.
Hei kisses up her neck, giving her soft, feather-light kisses. "Hha," Yin gasped as he slowly moved over her collarbone, again going over her pulse, letting his tongue taste the saltiness of her skin.
"Mhm," Yin moves her arms over his chest, gripping his shirt tightly.
Hei knows he's pushing his luck; he's never done something like this. 'Yin's probably never been this intimate with another person,' Hei thinks as he breathes her in. She sighed, and her right hand released his shirt, bringing it up to caress his face. Her hand was cold against his overly hot skin; Hei sighed, 'I should go slowly,' he thought as he leaned into her touch.
Yin's body tingles in a way; it's never done before, as Hei does things that she's only ever read about in stories that have been long forgotten. "Oh!" Yin gasps, her fingers tracing over the scar on his cheek. "Does it hurt?" It's all too much. She's not used to all the attention; she needs a distraction.
"Hmm? No." Hei mumbles in a half-daze. The taste of her salty skin lingers on his tongue. Hei places a final gentle kiss against her pulse.
Yin's thoughts begin to wander, 'A kiss to make the pain go away!' a long-forgotten voice crooned, and Kiko's familiar voice added, 'The MC always gives a kiss on the cheek after being saved by their love interest!'
Yin leaned towards Hei's cheek; at that moment, he turned to face her.
Something in him snapped, and something in her felt complete.
The kiss was nothing like the books Kiko had read to her; there were no fireworks or gentle start, let alone any warning. He was neither gentle nor sure of himself. He was hungry, as if she were the only one who could satisfy him. His arms pressed her closer in a painful grip, and yet he trembled. Or maybe she was the one shaking in his arms. Yin kissed him back clumsily, pressing her lips against his. Hei's hand cupped the back of her head, not letting her escape; his tongue slipped into her mouth in response.
Heat traveled through her body, swirling from her core down to her toes and then rising to her face, making her feel dizzy. A strange sound fell from her lips. He groans against her tongue; the vibrations, his taste, his scent, his voice, and his firm body against her sent another wave of heat throughout her body. Yin wrapped her arms around his neck. Hei's tongue rubbed against her own, sending another wave of heat. Yin gasped this time; Hei wasted no time tasting everything she had to offer. Feeling bold, she moved her tongue against his, earning a soft, pleading whimper from him.
They pulled apart only for a moment, both gasping for air.
There was something about being wrapped in his arms after not feeling the touch of another being in the last two years. Yin's body felt sensitive to Hei's touch; she didn't know whether it was because she was the one touching Hei or because Hei was the one touching her. Yin had dreamed of being with Hei forever, even if he no longer loved her. It would be fine as long as she could be by his side. This was far more than she ever dared to dream of, yet she melted into him, wanting this moment to last even if it was a one-time thing.
"Ee," Yin yelped as Hei's hands moved back up to her hips, squeezing them softly, pressing every inch of her body closer. Yin whimpered, spreading her legs over his hips until she was awkwardly straddling him. Carefully lowering herself, Hei helped her close the distance by placing his hand on the back of her head until their lips met again. Yin moves her hips in an awkward half-circle, trying to create more friction between them and properly saddle Hei's thicker thighs. Hei, gasps softly at the movement. He lifted her until she was right above the bulging tent in his shorts, all that work in the shower thrown out the window.
As Yin slips her tongue into his mouth, heat and confidence bloom as Hei lets out a low moan into the kiss. A jolt of electricity shoots throughout her body, and an ache between her legs grows. Yin continues to kiss him, using her tongue to explore his mouth. Soft sighs and moans filled the room as Yin rocked her hips awkwardly back and forth, testing what felt good for them.
Hei gasped, "H-hang on, Yin!"
Yin whimpers, about to scramble off, but his hands tighten on her hips, stopping her. Their mixed panting echoes around them; 'Yin kissed me!' He stares at the ceiling. 'Why did I tell her to stop!' He blinked 'Oh, she is so beautiful!' He stares at Yin, taking in the crimson blush across her face and neck. Her soft lips parted as she tried to regain her breath, the loose hanging shirt that gave him an eyeful of the smooth white skin and small breasts being pulled down by gravity.
Yin shivered, feeling a crawling sensation up her spine. She could feel Hei's gaze. It was far different from his curious stares, as if she were a puzzle he could not understand. This time, it was as if she were something precious, slowly morphing into something hotter. Smoldering, she looked away, and his hand cupped her face gently, moving her back into his line of sight.
"What's wrong?" Hei sounds breathless, and his voice sounds lower than expected.
Her voice is strange even to her ears. "I'm not a good kisser," she hesitates, adding a softer, "It's not like the books." Her violet eyes flicker around, hyper-aware of the muscular body under her and the warmth through his shirt.
Hei blinks. "Are you disappointed?" Hei asks, "That… isn't like the books?" He clarifies.
"Are you disappointed that I am a bad kisser?" Yin asks; this time, her eyes settle on him, and he stares back, letting the image of her flushed face and swollen lips burn into his memory. Those violet eyes were tempting him for another heavy kiss.
"I think you are great!" Hei answers honestly. "Are you disappointed our first kiss wasn't like your books?"
"No… I am happy," Yin answers honestly." But…. You're lying." Yin pouts, her cheeks puffing out as she tries to look away from him. Hei smiles, sitting up, keeping his hands on her soft body so she doesn’t fall off him. He leaned closer and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. "Am I now?" Another soft kiss follows. "About what?"
Yin could hear the laughter in his voice, "I've never kissed anyone before."
"Mmh.”
She could hear his amusement and, dare she say, a shred of glee. "I saw you kiss all those girls…they all looked happy to kiss you," Yin muttered.
Hei stares at Yin. "Does that mean you're happy to kiss me?" Completely ignoring her main point, Yin huffs, and it's music to Hei's ears, watching her eyes crinkle as her face lights up. "I am." Yin sighs. "I've never done anything like kissing…"
"I've only ever kissed people! I never did anything more." Hei admitted. "I would kill them after I got them alone. Besides…" his face heated up. "I am… I know how to please, I've just never done it. You are the one I love, so I would be happy if you…I…we…”
Yin creases his face, her thumb rubbing against his lower lip. "You love me," she whispers as if it's their shared secret. "Only You," he whispers back. "I have no experience in dating, let alone knowing how to be a lover." Yin's violet eyes moved to stare in his general direction. He leaned forward until he could see into her violet eyes, his heartbeat growing louder.
"I don't either; we can learn together," Yin leaned forward, their breath mingling. "I would like that very much," Hei closed the gap between them. They softly kissed each other.
“We should sleep,” Hei mumbled as he regretfully pulled away from Yin.
“What about?” Yin reached out, grabbing his hard-on.
“Yin!” Hei blushed, trying to stop her. He was not ready for this to go any further.
“Does it hurt?” Yin asks, losing her grip. “Does Hei’s penis-”
“Don’t say that!” Hei’s voice cracks
“Penis?” Yin tilts her head. “Do you prefer cock?” Yin smirks, “Hei’s cock.”
Hei blushes, “Yin!” It sounds so vulgar coming from her.
“I want Hei’s cock.” Yin moves her hips slowly. “Even if I can’t see it, I can feel it!”
Hei blushes harder, as his own hips lift to meet Yin’s ‘Who’s the vulgar one now!’ “Ah, Yin don’t.” He didn’t want to rush; he won’t be able to hold himself back.
“It’s our honeymoon.” Yin stopped moving altogether. “Does Hei not want me as a lover?” Her soft voice wavers.
“I want you!” Hei blurts out, “I just…don’t want to rush this!”
Yin blinks slowly, “I want to make up for lost time.”
“What!” Hei does a double-take, “What do you mean?”
“I want to be with Hei, I want to be Hei’s lover.” Tears fill her eyes. “I want to be Hei’s wife for real, and go on dates with Hei.” Yin sniffs, rubbing her eyes. “ I want to kiss Hei,” Yin gasps for air. “Everything we were robbed of, I want to be able to have it with Hei.” Hei cups her face, gently wiping away her tears. “We can do that, all of it!” Hei sighs, “I just want to hold off on any sexual intimacy until we know we’re fully safe.” Yin nods, asking shyly, “We have two weeks for our honeymoon. Can we be a real couple on their honeymoon?”
“Yeah,” Hei smiles softly, “We’ll be happy newlyweds.”
“Newlyweds who can’t keep their hands off each other?” Yin rolls her hips.
Hei gasps, “ If that’s what you want, just don’t regret it later?”
“Oh?” Yin’s eyes shine. “What are you” She rolls her hips “Going to do?” With each word, she rolls her hips harder against him.”
“Nothing,” Hei gasps, “I am just going to enjoy the view!” Hei grins, watching Yin. As she huffs, slowly grinding her hips, testing what feels good,
“Hei, can I…?” she tugs at his waistband. Hei blushes, “Just…not the boxers.” Carefully fits her up, ‘she’s light, ‘ Hei thinks as Yin nods her fingers, trailing over his shirt, tugging at his shorts.
Hei lifts his hips, watching as Yin removes his shorts, in their awkward position, Hei’s cock twitches from the confinement of his boxers, as Yin straddles him with far more confidence. “Oh…” Yin moved side to side. “I can feel it better. See?” Yin spreads her legs. Hei swallowed, staring at the thick curly bush of silver hair, coated in glistening wetness that was seeping into his boxers. “Yeah,” Hei. Yin rocked her hips forward, resting her hands on his stomach, “Can I touch you?”
“Yes,” Hei whispers, “Please…oh!” Hei gasps as Yin’s delicate, cold fingers slide under his shirt. “Hei has lots of scars,” She ran her hands up his abdomen to his chest, spreading her fingers over his pecks. Hei gasped as her fingers moved over his nipples.
“Does it feel good?” Yin asks, leaning forward, rolling her hips in a small circle while flicking his nipples. Hei moans softly
“Hei,” Yin gently rocked back and forth, “Touch me too.” She reaches for him, and he gives her his hand, watching with wide eyes as she sits up straight, spreading her legs, giving him another full view of her glissng pussy. She brings his hand closer to the small bud hidden under her thick silver bush. “Please, Hei”
Hei swallows, staring back into her eyes, “Are you sure?”
“Hei,” Yin whines, grinding against him faster, “Please.”
Hei carefully brings his hand to rest on her left thigh, gently rubbing her inner thigh with his thumb, watching her expression, as she sighs softly. Feeling bold, Hei moves higher up, sliding his thumb up and down her croch, scratching lightly at the skin under her bush, his eyes finding her face watching for any change. Rubbing small circles over her croch, adjusting the pressure as he got closer to the small bundle of nerves hidden by thick, curly silver hairs, more glistening wetness flowed from her, and even the stain on his boxers grew. His own gasps, and hers growing louder and faster. His thumb presses against her clit, and he moans at the feeling of the wet, slippery nub against the thick pad of his thumb.
“Ah,” Yin grinds her hips faster. Hei traps her clit between his forefinger and ring finger, keeping his thumb under it, while using his middle finger to flick back and forth over the hood of her clit. Hei applies slight pressure, watching as Yin grinds against his cock and into his fingers. Hei pinches and gently tugs at her clit, “Does that feel good?”
“Hei,” Yin whimpers, “Kiss.”
Hei sits up, capturing her lips, gently biting her lower lip. She gasps as he slips his tongue into her mouth. With his left hand, he slides it under her shirt, cupping the soft mound of her right breast. He gently pinches her nipple while also pinching her clit in sync.
“YIn…ah…”
“Hei”
Yin arches her back, letting out a silent scream, as she climaxes. Warm fluids rush out of her coating his croch. Hei moves his hands to her hips, moving her against him faster. “ That’s not fair, leaving me behind, Yin.” Hei moans as Yin kisses his neck, trailing kisses up until she bites his earlobe, whispering in his ear. “Cum for me Hei”
With those soft words, Hei whimpers as he cums, a thick sticky mess in his boxers as he falls backwards into the soft bed, holding Yin close to him. Their heavy breathing echoes around them as they lie their legs intertwined, their hands gently creasing and holding each other just to keep one another grounded in this new reality. He found himself once again staring into her sleeping face, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest, and feeling the soft puffs as she exhaled against his chest. A soft, almost stupid grin had been etched into his face as he watched her drift to sleep on top of his chest, using him as a body pillow and personal heater.
“Thank You for bringing her back to me,” Hei whispered to whatever higher being had answered his prayers.