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I wanted you to know, I’ve learned to live without it
They got together after high school
“It’s almost time to move into our very own apartment” Taki spoke into the dim room.
“Yea…Are you excited or nervous? I think I’m scared but really excited” Yuma spoke turning to look at him
“Excited. I love you and I love being with you. This all I could ever ask for” Taki said with a unknown shine in his eyes
Yuma had reason to be scared,
His lover
His boyfriend
His partner
His ex
Was not the man he first met
You never saw me naked, you wouldn’t even touch me
Except if you were wasted
“Taki I really don’t wanna have sex while you're drunk..” Yuma was now backed into their small kitchen constantly glancing at the pan hoping he wouldn't have to hurt his lover
“We don’t ever do it! It’s always; I’m tired, I’m busy, Not in the mood for fucksake Yuma. I want to do more than hold your hand every blue moon!” Taki yelled, pushing him with his voice.
I was your robot companion, you were my favourite colour, and oh
“Taki…W-We can do it another night I promise. But I really do not want to while you're drunk-” Taki quickly cut him off with a kiss not wanting to hear him. Yuma tried to reach for the pan only for his hands to be clamped to the wall behind him.
“M’not even that drunk..Just let me touch you” Taki said, placing open kisses on the others neck.
Yuma closed his eyes hoping it would end soon
I’m caught up on the person I tried to turn myself into for you
Someone who didn’t mind the push pull parlour games
It was now their second year of college, Yuma had grown numb to his partner
Taki was worse than before. Yuma never knew when it would happen.
“Riki look!--” Yuma pointed to the trinket his lover had wanted. “I got us matching ones!” He tried to smile but it didn’t reach his eyes.
Taki scoffed, “If I wanted it I would have bought it. Let's fucking go Yuma” The taller walked away without caring if Yuma followed.
Yuma placed the two trinkets on his bag without words, walking softly behind his boyfriend.
And I was trying my best, and that's the thing I tell the mirror
“You're getting fat again Yuma, you’ve gotta watch your weight” Taki said passing the boy by in the mirror.
“Oh..I-I didn’t know… Sorry! I’ll go back on my diet” Yuma said ignoring the burn behind his eyes. Old Taki would never say this, old Taki would have pinched and kissed at his skin calling him cute explaining how much he loved him.
This isn't his Taki
This is a monster
Do you wanna hurt me?
Do you wanna hurt me?
‘Cause no one hurts me better
“Say you're sorry damnit!” Taki swung his fist right back into Yuma’s side
“I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry Riki! Please!” Yuma cried falling to the floor shielding his head from the blows
Came in like a dream, put it down like a smoke
We used to be a team, now we let each other go
You’re cigarette ash still clinging to my clothes
I don’t wanna stick around, just wanna let you know
“I hate that you changed Riki” Yuma mumbled into his hand. Batter and burned, covered in purple and black spots, red bites on his neck, lips, and legs.
“Me too…I wish–I wish I wasn’t like this” Taki spoke from his dark chair covered with an eerie shadow.
They looked at each other in the eyes, thinking the same thing.
“Please just let me go”
Yet Taki was focused on the mirror behind the man he once loved
No one’s going to save me from your memories
Nothing to lose but I would have given anything
“Riki, I-I made you breakfast” Yuma said nervously, hoping he wasn’t due
Taki turned to him with a jump, “Fuck you scared me! Don’t do that again Yuma I’m not fucking joking”
Yuma stepped back in fear, “R-Right sorry! I’ll um.. Just leave it on the table for you”
He left the food on the table just like he said. Yuma glanced at the gun on the table.
He sighed
To get closer to you and all your enemies
I’ve got a few of my own, and this throne didn’t come with a gun
So I’ve got a different energy
I still see you when the lights get low
It was around 3 am when Taki woke him
“You’re lying! Fucking liar!” Taki screamed shaking the other out of his sleep
“W-What Taki! Wait-” Yuma jumped out of sleep instantly scared for his life. Taki picked him up throwing him on the floor.
I still hear you when I’m on my own
“What happened!? Please!” Yuma shouted blocking the incoming blows to his head and face
“You! You promised to be there! To always love me!” Taki shouted back still attempting to land hits.
This one is for you and your problems
Your good day job, your bad karma
What are you afraid of?
They were now in the living room, Yuma dragged by his hair and now torn shirt.
The gun
“Taki please!” Yuma whimpered out, voice gone and burned to hell
“No. I’m not changing my mind again. You make me hurt him! I don’t want to hurt him!” Taki was now screaming at the mirror above the sofa.
‘Cause you talk about your constant pain like I ain’t got none
And I’ve learned to live beside it
Yuma was scared
This may have been his last breath
And even though it’s over now,
Taki grabbed the gun without glancing at Yuma.
He shot himself directly in the head. Killing himself instantly
The silence left was sharp. Yuma couldn’t even hear his breath or his heart.
It was over.
Yuma never even realized the police and EMS kicking down their door, whisking him away to the ER and covering his ex’s dead body with the thin white sheet.
It was cold, his heart and head empty of all feeling and warmth, yet there was a mirror in his hospital room. He wanted it gone but he knew it couldn’t do much.
He threw the glass cup he had at the mirror shattering it.
He sighed.
It was over.
I will always be reminded of you.