Chapter Text
How did he end up here? He doesn't know exactly. He knows whose fault it is. He can place all the blame in the world on Scott for getting him into this mess in the first place. But he can't blame Scott for his stupid mouth that has no filter whatsoever.
So maybe it is his fault. He won't ever admit that openly but he can definitely admit it to himself. In his brain. Are werewolves psychic? He does not want to know what would happen if they could read his mind at any given moment.
Really, who would want to read his mind? If he had the chance, he certainly wouldn't want to get into his cranium and he was the only one actually in it. Actually, he happened to like his head. He had a lot of information stored in there. He wasn't the brains of the operation for nothing.
Back to the problem.
"Stiles." Derek drawls. The teenager almost forgot the alpha's existence. That question seemed to come back to mind, why am I here?
"Right." He snaps his fingers in a motion towards Derek and mentally smacks himself in the face. Don't try to act cool, you're not impressing anyone. "Scott sent me. You know since your whole quarrel about who's the better alpha went down, I've been playing messenger."
Again, he would like to curse Scott for making him do this. He didn't want to be here. Not really. Derek didn't like him. Not even a little. However, his feelings toward his male counterpart, may have been a little different. So maybe that was why he took the job to inform Sourwolf of the impending big bad that was headed their way.
"And the message?" Derek asks impatiently. Of course he forgot to mention the actual reason he'd come. They weren't old pals catching up. Stiles didn't even think Derek considered them to be acquaintances.
"We've got a killing situation. Just thought I'd fill you in." Stiles began. Really, there were a million better ways he could have started that. What kind of killing situation? Why should Derek be concerned about this particular killing situation? There were only two deaths. How did they know the supernatural was involved.
"I'm listening Stiles." Derek sighs. Now he was boring the alpha. God, this would have been so much easier if Scott would've sent Isaac. Sure, Isaac was still partially team Derek because he was the wolf who bit him but everyone knew he had a thing for Scott. "I've been listening."
"Yeah, I got that." Stiles nods. Now. What to say first? Start at why we think it's supernatural related.
"So nothing wolf-y is going on. I can guarantee you that. We haven't heard of any wolves in the area since the alpha pack. But it's definitely something bad." Stiles explains. They'd talked to Deaton. Or rather, he'd talked to Deaton because he was the one who figured the peculiar shit going on around their quaint town. "Sacrifices. Someone's sacrificing virgins."
"And how are we sure it isn't a serial killer who's human?" Derek asks. Not enough information for the big bad wolf. He really didn't have more to add to that. They were still trying to figure it out. But, he had a theory.
"Well, Deaton told me there's a scale. This is Beacon Hills and what most people don't know is that we act as a beacon for all things supernatural. Good or bad." Stiles continues. He just had to get Derek to believe everything Deaton told him. "And things have been really good lately. Scary good since you and Scott took down Deucalion. And apparently our luck is bound to change and these two people are dead. I'm guessing our time is up, Derek."
"I'll speak with Deaton when I can." Derek nods, all the information finally filtering in. He waited to speak once Stiles was completely finished. This guy definitely wasn't an open book. Stiles couldn't tell how he even felt about the situation.
"That's it?" Stiles asks, flabbergasted. "I tell you two people are dead. DEAD, Derek. And all you can think to say is, you'll talk to Deaton... when you can?!"
"What is it that you want me to do exactly?" Derek asks. He kind of had a point. If Scott couldn't do anything till they had more information, what could he do?
"You could ask how I have been dealing with this shit for the past three years." Stiles blurts. Because he was breaking. Piece by piece his sanity was slipping away into the unknown. Soon enough, they'd have to send him to an insane asylum.
Sure, he handled the alpha. He handled the alpha coming back and living with Peter in his everyday life. He handled Jackson as the Kanama. He handled the alpha pack. A new evil almost every year. He even handled those forest elves because nobody else would finish the damn job!
"Holy shit. How do you all do it? We're talking about innocent virgin lives here." Stiles exclaims, panicking. That wasn't a good sign. Panic attacks were never a good sign and he could not get one in front of Derek-freaking-Hale. "You know who's a virgin? Me! I'm a virgin. I'd like to let you know personally, that I am not okay with being ritually sacrificed."
"Stiles, you've gotta calm down." Derek says gently, and for a second Stiles swears he sees empathy in the alpha's eyes.
"Calm down? With my luck, it will be me. Because you know who's always the one in danger with every freaking monster we've had to deal with? The damsel in distress? It's me! Jesus Christ." Stiles groans and his breathing quickens. Why wasn't his life normal? He was going to blame Scott for yet another thing.
"Stiles you're not the damsel in distress. And you're not going to be sacrificed." Derek comforts. He didn't even seem irritated to do it. It seemed like he genuinely cared about Stiles which couldn't be right. Derek hated him. Maybe hate was a little strong. Derek wasn't exactly fond of his existence.
Stiles could be a pain in the ass on a good day. No one should have to deal with him on a bad one. Like right now. Derek didn't deserve this. No one deserved the disappointed feeling of not being able to help him out of a panic attack. He could do it on his own.
"How do you know that, though?" Stiles asks. "This person is sacrificing people with something I have spent my high school career trying to get rid of with Lydia Martin."
He wasn't sure where his infatuation with the spunky redhead had ended and where his new infatuation with tall, dark, and broody began. But it did. And all Stiles thought about lately was being good enough for someone like the person who didn't want him around the most.
So recently he hadn't tried. The thought of Derek never wanting to be with him was a bit of a downer. He even googled ways for someone to become a good mate... because Derek had wolf genes so maybe that's what he was interested in. He didn't even know if werewolves had mates.
Realizing he was attracted to both genders was a bit of a shock too. Never did he think he could fall for someone other than Lydia. But he was a senior now and freshly eighteen and no longer jailbait. He could have what he wanted if he could convince himself to go and get it.
"Because we'll make sure you're no longer a virgin." Derek says. How the hell were they supposed to do that? He came back to his surroundings when Derek had made the impossible statement. He also realized that Derek was a lot closer to him than usual. And that was the man's hand squeezing his shoulder.
Who knew the guy was kind of nurturing? Erica, Boyd, and Isaac probably. They were probably just too afraid to share Derek's secret. Maybe Cora knew first hand. Being Derek's sister and all.
"How are we supposed to do that?" Stiles asks desperately. "Who in their right mind would sleep with me?"
"I would." The alpha proclaims. Stiles had the wind knocked out of him with how calm Derek seemed to be about his mind-boggling confession. People didn't just say stuff to him like that. This had to be some sort of joke.
"You'd do that for me?" Stiles asks.
"If you don't have a preference in a partner... yeah Stiles. I would." Derek confirms. It was actually pretty touching and not to mention down right ego-boosting. Stiles had gone so long with thinking that he'd never be in Derek's league but here he was, offering to have sex with him. "I think you underestimate how much I care about you."
And if that wasn't just a kick to the nuts, he didn't know what was. Derek expressing an emotion other than disinterest and dislike towards him? How did things go from bad to somewhat relieving in a matter of minutes.
How long had Stiles even been at the loft? He swore to Scott it'd take him ten minutes tops. He was verging on hours here. Conversational hours with Derek Hale. Who would live to see that day? Apparently him.
"You know, I consider you a friend, Stiles. No matter whose side you're on." Derek was definitely not one to talk, let alone express emotions.
Was he living in some sort of alternate universe? This was not the Derek Hale he'd come to know and loath and like. God dammit, he liked Derek. And that would certainly kill him.
He choked on his own words for a while. He couldn't form a coherent sentence and he was pretty sure even if he were to scribble something down on a sticky note, his handwriting wouldn't be legible either. So many questions that he wouldn't have the time to get answered filtered through his brain.
His dad would be home from his shift soon and Stiles hadn't even made dinner. He'd make up for his tardiness with a peace offering. Maybe pizza. His dad loved Mama Mia's pizza and he didn't let him have it pretty much ever unless on a cheat day. He would watch his dad's diet every day even if it killed him.
"Do you um... have a location or date preference?" Stiles asks, awkwardly coughing out his words.
"Well probably tomorrow since we don't exactly want to wait before it's too late." Derek grins. Now he was just trying to be funny. And Derek didn't have a funny bone in his body. No way. He could not joke about his impending ritual death. "I don't have any other preferences."
"I do. Eight o'clock, my house. My dad's working till ten." Stiles spits out. He needed Derek to know all the information. This was going to happen. And guess who he had to thank...
Scott.
So that may have been how he'd come to be shoved against his door by a very broody looking alpha werewolf. It was eight o'clock sharp, too. At his house just like he'd asked. Derek had a thing for being precise.
The clock struck eight and the guy jumped in through his window, like it was a normal routine. And that's when he was shoved against his door. He had yet to find the reason why he was in such an uncomfortable position but he was sure he would soon enough.
Derek let him go without a word. He was suspiciously quiet from the night before. Actually, yesterday was suspicious. Now he was just being normal Derek. Silent and all.
"So how are we doing this?" Stiles blushes. He glances around his room to make sure everything looks nice. He wanted to impress Derek. He didn't want to seem like some unorganized teenager, even though that's exactly what he was.
"Sit down Stiles." Derek finally decided to speak. He even met Stiles' gaze and it was nothing but intimidating. If this was what sex with Derek Hale was like... maybe he shouldn't have been so ready to jump to any possible solution. Derek was doing this to be nice, not because he wanted him.
Stiles obeyed Derek's wishes any way and took a seat on the edge of his bed. Derek pulled up his computer chair and sat in front of him. He didn't know what they were doing but it definitely wasn't sex.
Derek squints his eyes as he looks him up and down. It makes him feel a little insecure since the eyes glaring at him belong to a guy whose body looks like it should belong to a Greek god. How could you not fall for someone you've seen shirtless an obscene amount of times?
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Derek finally asks. His intense glare is replaced with that soft empathic gaze he'd gotten the night before, minus the empathy. "Most high schoolers want their first times to be special and I don't want to take it away if that's something you want."
"Are you kidding me?" Stiles scoffs. "Finding the hypothetical "one" and risk being ritually sacrificed or have a good time and not die? I think one option outweighs the other by an enormous margin."
Derek seems skeptical for a few moments before he lets himself believe that this is something Stiles wants. But he totally had that look on his face like he knew something Stiles didn't and it was really bugging him out.
"Stiles, it'll be anything but fun." Derek says, standing up from the chair that he pushes away and it rolls back to Stiles' desk. That definitely didn't sound like a good thing. If it wasn't fun, why would he do it? Why would anyone do it? "It's going to hurt a lot because it's your first time and because we're men but I'm going to make it as pleasurable for you as possible."
Scared yet? He could just sense those words hiding from Derek's statement. He knew Derek wanted him to be completely sure about this. And he was. The guy didn't have anything to worry about. He'd watched enough porn to know how everything goes down. But those guys liked it. So, shouldn't he be able to, too?
"I'm good, Derek." Stiles scoffs. He hated how hesitant the alpha was being. He was ready for whatever was to come. He'd survived today. There would be no worry tomorrow. He wouldn't have to feel like that damsel in distress anymore. Or... at least in their new situation.
That got a smirk from Derek. He shoves Stiles down so his head is on his pillow and he is on top of the teenager. Stiles could already tell that he was in for the ride of his life. Maybe even literally. He didn't know Derek's preferences yet. "I hope you are, Stiles."
The way Derek purred his name was a little intoxicating. If this was what he did with all his partners, Stiles didn't know how they made it through the night because his heart was already pulsing at radioactive speed. It was ready to burst.
Stiles never knew how much he wanted to know what it felt like to be stripped by Derek Hale. But the way his fingers glide underneath his shirt, up his hips and the sides of his body, give him shivers. Derek gets his shirt off his arms and head like he'd become a professional in his technique.
He feels dizzy when Derek's lips play like a ghost across his chest. Barely there, but still close enough to feel. His breath is warm and something Stiles wants to feel against his lips.
When Derek kisses his body for the first time, it's insanely close to his nether land region. Just above the belt. It makes his back pulse up towards his face. Something that Derek wanted exactly. It shows that Stiles is pleased with his actions.
He doesn't stay in that area for long. He works on each of his nipples. Taking them into his mouth and swirling his tongue around in a way that makes Stiles' toes curl.
And then he goes for his neck and jaw but never his mouth. It's like it's the only limb unspokenly off limits. But he enjoys what Derek is giving him. He sucks in one spot till it undoubtedly leaves a hickey. Stiles would worry about how to hide them in the morning.
Sure the foreplay was great. It was everything Stiles wanted, but only from the Derek Hale that wanted him for more than just whatever this was. He still didn't even know how it was benefitting for him. Maybe Derek just hadn't had sex in a while and really wanted an easy lay. If that was the case, Stiles would just have to deal with it.
Derek lifts off his own shirt before grabbing at Stiles' belt. Stiles couldn't help but place his own hand on top of Derek's fumbling one. The alpha lifted his gaze to the younger and slightly shorter boy, wondering what the problem was if he had already confirmed how much he wanted to go through with this.
"What about you?" Stiles asks. Yeah, Stiles got all the foreplay he needed. It was really good too. But Derek needed something to keep him going too, right?
"This is about you, Stiles. Pleasing you." Derek states firmly. Stiles couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a really bad thing. On one hand, all Derek wanted was to please Stiles. On the other, Derek was in this just to please him. Derek didn't want to be in this situation like Stiles did. He wanted everything. Derek wouldn't even kiss him for god's sake. And there was no way he was about to ask him to.
Stiles releases Derek's hand and lets him do what he was prepared for. He was sick of the foreplay though. He didn't want a blow job or a hand job. He wanted to get straight to the part that was supposed to bring him into manhood.
Derek could sense that. It was the jeans to go first. On both parts. Derek got off him for a second just so he could fumble with taking off his shoes and socks. Derek did the same but his were off swiftly in under a minute.
Stiles has to pep talk his way into removing his boxers when Derek is standing in front of him with his god damn abs and all Stiles has is a flabby underdeveloped stomach. Derek is obviously the one with the most self confidence and silently volunteers to go first.
And shit, that is supposed to fit inside of him. "Uncut. Totally called it." Stiles swallows audibly. Derek can smell his nervousness from a mile away and pulls Stiles right up against him by his boxers. The kid can't be scared for the rest of his life.
"Is that going to be a problem, Stiles?" Derek asks. And there was that breath he wanted to feel against his lips. Their foreheads are almost touching and Stiles can feel how hard Derek is against his clothed thigh. And he can feel Derek's thumbs tracing the elastic band of his boxers and slipping underneath it.
"No." Stiles breathes, so compelled to lay one on Derek right then and there. And he barely even felt it when Derek let his boxers drop to the floor. But he definitely could feel the skin on skin contact. "How do you want me?"
"On your stomach." Derek answers, lust and want filtering through his expression. He grabs one of Stiles' ass cheeks and pulls him impossibly closer. "But not yet. I'm going to work you open first."
Stiles nods and Derek lets him go so he can rummage through his bedside table drawer for lube and condoms. Would his condoms even fit Derek? He couldn't think about that right now. It would seriously lead into a panic attack and what a cock block that would be.
The first jelly like finger Derek slips inside of him is freezing and hurts quite and bit but Derek's mantra that it will stop hurting and it will warm up, keeps him calm and he only shivers just a little bit.
He doesn't like this anticipation he is feeling. He knows what is coming and he hates this before part. But he knows it's essential. It will hurt less.
Derek works three fingers into him and scissors him till he deems him ready. He slips a condom on and applies even more lube. He lets Stiles get into whatever comfortable position is possible, even slips and pillow beneath him. He tells him that it may be in his best interests to hold on to something because his arms would probably give out if he tries to keep himself up. So his hands wrap tightly around the top of his head board.
Stiles doesn't feel Derek behind him until one of his hands wrap around his own and the other helps guide himself into his hole. And Derek was right, it was anything but fun. Stiles waits till Derek is balls deep before he decides to go and run his mouth.
"Fuck." He gasps.
Derek wraps his now free arm around Stiles' waist and holds on to him so he can begin thrusting in and out. And it actually gets a little better. The faster and more in rhythm Derek becomes, the more he enjoys himself.
His bed is rocking back and forth and his headboard even faster. He's sure if he had a little more force towards it, it would break. Derek runs his nose down the crook of his neck and down his spine. It feels like a godsend.
What really is a godsend is when Derek starts to hit his prostate. He definitely sees stars with every new maneuver. He finally understands what the big deal is. Everything feels amazing and intensified this way.
Getting fucked by Derek Hale was definitely on his wishlist and now that it was coming true, he didn't know how he could live with it just being a one time thing. But that's what this was. If only it could be more.
Derek starts touching him towards the end but his eyes roll in the back of his head and he comes without barely being touched. It pleases Derek and it becomes something that pushes him towards his breaking point too.
He rides his orgasm out while still inside Stiles and he can just feel his limp dick getting a little more interested from just that action.
Stiles lets himself collapse once Derek slowly pulls out and sits next to him. Stiles covers up with part of his sheets that aren't wet with bodily fluids.
He feels elated. He never wants that feeling to go away. The sex was great. It really was. But the fact that it was with Derek, made it even better.
He notices Derek already getting up and pulling his underwear and jeans back on. He doesn't like that. It makes the pit in his stomach grow even larger. This is where he has to face facts. This is it for him and Derek. Once was all it was supposed to be.
"Where are you going?" Stiles asks.
"Your dad's on his way home." Derek says, pulling a sock on a little clumsily, which is weird for the usually elegant alpha.
"I- thank you, Derek. For doing this. I hope you... uh, enjoyed yourself?" Stiles gulps. He's bad at this. He wishes there's any semblance of hope that this could happen again between them.
"I did, Stiles. Don't worry about it." Derek gives him what almost looks like a smile. But it's too Derek to actually be genuine. He wants to know what it's like to get a real smile out of the older man.
What could he do now? Derek is ready to leap out that window and never return. What if he was given an ultimatum? Would that get Derek to stay? He didn't have the guts to get him to stay though.
"What if we made a compromise?" Stiles blurts.
"What kind of compromise?" Derek asks, narrowing his eyebrows together. Derek enjoyed himself, Stiles enjoyed himself. What if they enjoyed themselves together a few more times just for the heck of it?
"Friends with benefits." Stiles suggests. "We both had a good time. Why fight what we both want more of? That was too good to be my last lay for a good ten years."
Derek snorts. He honest to god snorts and it has to be the best sound Stiles has ever heard in his life. He will never hear anything as amazing as that. Maybe an actual laugh. What was Derek's laugh like?
"Okay, we need some conditions." Derek nods. Stiles needs to do a double take. Because Derek just agreed. What was his life? Good things did not happen to Stiles Stilinski, they just didn't.
"Like what?" Stiles asks innocently. Derek grips his legs and pulls him to the end of the bed before he surges forward and kisses him senseless. Stiles is totally not opposed to that.
"I get to kiss you whenever I want, because dammit Stiles, your mouth does things to me." Derek growls and lets his fingers trace against the teenagers lips. Stiles lets out a ghost of a breath and waits for the next impending kiss that Derek gives him. "And we can't tell anyone. Especially not Scott."
"Do you realize how hard that is going to be for me? Not just Scott. I mean anyone." Stiles argues. "What about Danny?"
"Danny is on the verge of figuring out our secret-"
"And what's one more?" Stiles interrupts, clearly cheeky about the whole thing. Derek grumbles but doesn't disagree. Point one went to Stiles for that loophole.
"And lastly, you can't be in Scott's pack." He says. Now that is something that may be a problem. Not be in Scott's pack? How was he supposed to do that? The guy was his brother. He couldn't tell him that he was going pack-less.
"How am I supposed to do that Derek? I practically live with him on most nights. If you're asking me to stop being his friend I-"
"I'm not asking that. I need you to be neutral Stiles otherwise I can't do this. If Scott found out you were sneaking around with me, he'd get overprotective and shut me out for good. I'm a pack of three now. Sort of six but who really counts Peter? And Cora's not really fitting in here. Erica and Boyd stuck around out of obligation. Isaac's pretty much on Scott's side. I just need you to stay out of it." Derek explains. Stiles can totally see where he's coming from and he would agree in a heartbeat to do what Derek was asking. Anything to be with Derek more than once.
"Okay, deal. Yes. Let's do this!" Stiles nods enthusiastically and Derek kisses him again before shoving his shirt over his head. He's out the window in two seconds, muttering something about his dad being home.
And shit, he's still naked and trashed as can be. But his dad probably guesses that since the light is off and no noise is coming from his room, he's asleep. That is the most relieving thing of Stiles' day. Plus the fact that he isn't going to be sacrificed for being a virgin. Because he isn't one.
And he never would be one again.
He didn't know how a whole week went by but it did. And nothing strange happened. No deaths. No kidnappings. No conversations with Derek. It was all too silent for his liking. He didn't know if he should be worried that Derek dropped from the face of the earth or if he just needed space.
This is exactly where he would have Danny come in. Danny was a capable young gay male who probably had a shit ton more experience than Stiles. Especially in a situation like this.
The problem was, Danny didn't exactly look at him with interest. Stiles could tell why Jackson and him were best friends. They acted like they couldn't stand anyone that wasn't like them. Granted, Lydia changed Jackson's ways but Danny was sort of off limits since he wasn't in on the whole werewolf knowledge.
"Danny, I have a real situation that I need you to sit your ass down and listen to." Stiles was blunt. Some people, like Scott, could learn to love him for it. Maybe Derek was okay with it too. They were sleeping together, he had to like something about Stiles, right?
"And why would I do that Stilinski?" Danny monotones. Yup. Stiles definitely didn't catch his interests. He'd just have to go for Plan B. The hypothetical situation.
"Hypothetically, if someone were to promise something with someone... I don't know, let's say sexual favors... how long should that person wait till they get in contact for round two?" Stiles asks. This was going to save a lot of lives. Okay, maybe just his but that should count. He was dying over here. Was Derek still interested?
"This situation doesn't sound very hypothetical." Danny comments, continuing to walk past book shelf by book shelf. Yes, Stiles was tailing him in the library. And yes, he'd gotten shushed more than once already by the mean, old librarian.
"If you're suggesting this is about me, you'd have to be joking. Remember when you suggested you'd have sex with me? Virgin then, virgin now." Stiles lies. But come on, he wasn't the best fibber. Sure his dad still knew nothing about the supernatural world but Stiles' excuses were getting worse and his dad was getting suspicious.
"You're a crappy liar Stiles. Who's the girl?" Danny asks, selecting a book from the sci-fi section. He could have sworn the title was about werewolves but Danny shoved it in his bag before Stiles could be certain.
"He- It's none of your business." Stiles groans. Of course he'd let that slip. People had a way of getting information out of him if it wasn't correct in the first place.
"So you're gay, in a friends-with-benefits relationship, and-"
"Bisexual. I play for both teams. Fifty-fifty." Stiles says pathetically. How could anyone forget the Lydia Martin stage? And that's exactly what it was. A stage. He would not get in too deep with Derek. At least, not deeper than he already was.
"Right. And the lucky guy is?" Danny asks. He did not need to know all the information to answer Stiles' one question. This was torture. He would never ask Danny for advice ever again. Derek was right. He did not need another one of their secrets.
"That has nothing to do with my question. Plus he told me that I shouldn't even be telling you anything. But you're the only one he didn't completely turn me down on telling!" Stiles grumbles. He hated when he was wrong about people. Danny was a sarcastic asshole that- wait, he was a sarcastic asshole. He was getting played by his own kind!
"So this person knows me." Danny grins. Shit. Even more information down the drain. This was not good. Abort mission. Abort mission. "I'm willing to bet it's Miguel, your not-so-real cousin who is really Derek Hale."
"Jesus Christ, Danny. How do you know Derek?" Stiles asks, mentally face palming.
"First of all, who doesn't? Second of all, remember that party Ethan and Aiden helped me throw? It was at Derek's loft. And lastly, the Miguel thing was a total lie the whole time, you two have sexual tension that anyone can sense from a mile away." Danny drawls. Apparently they weren't as secretive as they thought. If Danny figure this out, what more did he know? He was in fact dating a werewolf.
"So if you appear to know everything, what should I do?" Stiles asks. Because that was the reason he came to Danny. It'd been a week and nothing happened and Stiles found himself wanting something to happen. He would lay in his bed every night just waiting for Derek to show up like the creeper he was.
Danny had to know something. He knew everything. He'd know how to handle a relationship. Even one like this with an alpha werewolf. Maybe Danny even knew that Derek was the alpha. Did Ethan tell him a lot? Or nothing at all?
"So you've had this weird content thing going on for a few days and now you're panicking which makes it about a week. I'm going to guess that you haven't had sex since then. Let's call this observation. Were you supposed to call first, or was he?" Danny asks. Now he was being useful.
"We didn't exactly make that clear before he left that night. We kind of just made this deal. I asked and he agreed." Stiles gave him the information he knew. Now Danny needed to give him something back. Something he could work with.
"If you made the deal, he probably expects you to contact him first. Since it's been a week, he might think you've lost interest." Danny shrugs, making his way to the line of students towards the librarian's desk to check out books.
Who in their right mind would lose interest in Derek Hale? Derek would never wait up for him. They all had to come crawling back at some point. The alpha didn't have to do lack of interest. He would be the one to lose interest. Especially in Stiles.
"What do I do?" Stiles complains.
"Well, everyone in this town knows where he lives. Obviously you do too. Go to him. Complain that you've been waiting for him. Show him what you're made of." Danny shrugs. "Don't seem too needy. Guys don't like that. Trust me on this."
The best Stiles could do was listen to Danny's advice. It had to be good advice. Danny went to gay clubs and got laid all the time. He was in a relationship with an ex-alpha, he tamed the beast even if he didn't know it.
So after school, not to seem suspicious, Stiles jumped into his jeep and contemplated this weird relationship he and Derek had going on while driving to his loft. He may have broken a few speeding laws but his dad was the sheriff, some deputies let it slide.
The problem was, Stiles was a horny teenage boy who just had sex for the first time a week prior. Derek was a broody twenty-something year old alpha who maybe had quit the sex wagon a long time ago after Kate Argent. They obviously didn't know how these things were supposed to work.
He sat in his car for at least ten minutes before he even tried to get up the courage to knock on Derek's door. He told himself he could do it but then that voice in the back of his head reminded him that maybe Derek found something new to keep him interested.
Or maybe Derek was really waiting for him. Maybe he needed to believe that Stiles was interested in someone as broken and burned down as him. Because Derek was anything but what someone wanted in a partner. But he was everything Stiles needed in one.
So he clumsily, almost fell out of his car, ran across the street, just barely missing a Porsche that looked just like Jackson's, and took each step up to Derek's top floor loft by two. To say he was eager was an understatement. And he still hadn't figured out what he was going to say.
Before he even had the courage to knock, the alpha was sliding his door open. And they just stared at each other. Derek seemed a little expressionless, Stiles felt a little like that too. What were you supposed to say to the guy you wanted to sleep with right that second?
Derek looked attractive as ever. He looked like he'd just woken up. His hair was strewn in displaced positions. His eyes were a little bleary like he was just rubbing the sleep out of them. And he was only wearing sweatpants. Stiles breath caught in his throat.
"Are you alright, Stiles?" Derek asks, concern suddenly becoming the only feature on his face. Maybe he'd asked the question because Stiles currently could not get any oxygen down his lungs. And yeah, they didn't need another panic attack to show up. They'd had enough of that a few nights previous.
"Have you lost interest in me?" Stiles blurts, with crazed eyes. He was surprised he even had the courage to ask it. He came here to demand Derek tell him why he hadn't called or shown up somewhere unusual like he normally did. He did not want to feel insecure about the fact that Derek may not want this after all.
"Why would you think that?" Derek asks, clearly confused. So maybe there was hope. Maybe it was true. Derek was waiting for his move.
"Because we agreed to this thing and it's been a week and I haven't heard from you at all and I sort of expected you to show up in my bedroom on most nights, I even left my window open for you and- shit." Stiles sighs. He felt truly pathetic. Derek wasn't supposed to know all this. He was just supposed to ask where their minds were in all of this. If they needed to make up a schedule. But schedules were gross and a distraction.
He wanted this anytime and all the time. He wanted to be able to show up at Derek's loft uninvited and let him fuck him wherever and however he wanted. Many, many times. In several different positions.
"Stiles, I was just giving you time to adjust." Derek replies softly. And what? Did Derek seriously just say that? Adjust to the fact that he was no longer a virgin? How much time did he expect him to need for that? "You just gave up your virginity to some guy you barely even know and then you go and make a deal on a whim and I just wanted you to be sure it was something you wanted."
"Of course I want it you idiot!" Stiles exclaims. Derek Hale was beyond good looking, he had his moments where he could be kind, he was strong despite all his struggles. Who would be so pervious to let that go? "You're incredibly attractive, you can be kind, tenacious, and that's why I want to be with you. I don't know anyone else like that."
"Do you want to sit down and have dinner with me?" Derek asks, suddenly.
"I thought this was all about sex." Stiles cringes. Because he did not have the willpower to be domestic with Derek and not get too attached. He'd want it all the time. Not just now. Not when Derek wanted to explain what this was to him.
"It doesn't have to be." Derek says. "If you want to get to know me, I'd be willing. If you just need someone to talk to, I'd be your shoulder to cry on. I don't need everything if you don't want to give me anything. We can be different. If you're more comfortable that way."
Stiles contemplated. Derek wanted to be friends with benefits the right way. He wanted the friendship part. The staying over late to watch movies. The Chinese take out dinners. The incredible sex. Everything in a modern day rom-com. And Stiles knew how all of those movies ended. They fall in love.
Could they risk that? Could Derek fall in love with him? Stiles was willing. He could become a good mate for Derek. That was probably something they should talk about too. Did werewolves have mates? Scott made it seem like Allison was his. Why would Derek do all this if there wasn't some ulterior motive?
He wouldn't ask. That was too personal and Stiles didn't even know if they could be considered friends yet. Derek had expressed that he'd grown to care about Stiles, and Stiles cared about Derek. But what he said was right. He didn't know much about the man in front of him.
"I know I want to have sex with you Derek." Stiles finally says. He could tell Derek was okay with that. If that's all this was for them. But what the alpha didn't know was that Stiles was okay with more too. "I mean like right now, we can have dinner later."
Derek's head snapped up and he could almost see the invisible wolf ears curl to the back of his head like a puppy's would. The small smile on Derek's face had to have been genuine. It was so tiny that it was like it'd barely been there but it was sort of worth it.
"No one's around, right?" Stiles asks, stripping his shirt from his body which was a really bold thing for him to do. But Derek had already seen him naked. He could get used to this. Maybe the insecurities would go away some day. Especially with the way Derek worshipped his body.
And now the way, he worshipped his lips. Derek picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. Stiles was now realizing he had a kink for being manhandled. After carrying him to his room, Derek laid him down on his bed and climbed on top of him. He ravished his mouth in kisses and intertwined their tongues together.
The nudity came a lot faster this time. They both tugged their own clothing off, stopping for quick breaks for open mouthed kisses. Stiles could totally get used to this. The sneaking around, if it meant he got to have this. He'd have to figure something out to tell Scott because lying to the guy just never seemed right.
He was on his stomach again but this time he was just laying as Derek traced his tongue down his back and to the crease where his ass cheeks met. His tongue slid swiftly around his hole and Stiles' whole body arched up into Derek.
"Holy shit." Stiles shivers as Derek continues to swirl his tongue around his sphincter. He could definitely find himself enjoying figuring out all the different ways Derek could pleasure him and maybe even pleasure Derek himself.
Derek flipped him over so he was on his back and went for his now throbbing dick. Stiles had to clench his fingers into Derek's sheets because the sensation was too much for him to handle. He started thrusting up into Derek's mouth that almost had all of him inside it.
He didn't want to choke the guy but he wasn't doing anything to stop Stiles. They were working in a rhythm and it was exactly what they both wanted. Since this was Stiles' first blow job, it was over pretty quick and he was coming. Derek didn't try to swallow most of it. He let some of it dribble down his lips and brought Stiles' mouth towards his.
Tasting himself on Derek was a little strange. He hadn't had anything like it and it was a little too salty for his liking. But he opened his mouth for Derek regardless and the taste was swirled in. He couldn't comprehend much since he'd started seeing stars but he knew when Derek was getting up to leave him.
"Relax Stiles, I'm going to make dinner." Derek grins, kissing Stiles once more before he got up and headed to the kitchen, pulling on his boxer-briefs as he went. Stiles couldn't help it, he let himself get back to normal before he got up too and followed the alpha. "Just stay in bed, get some rest. You could use it."
"What about you?" Stiles asks. "I'd really like to return the favor."
Derek turned away from the teenager, smiling to himself. He was getting out a pot and some noodles. He seemed to be making pasta probably. Why wouldn't he look at Stiles? Why wouldn't he let Stiles pleasure him? It was something Stiles wanted to try.
"I'm good right now, Stiles." Derek finally answers. He didn't like that. What was Derek hiding?
"Then come back to bed and fuck me." Stiles sighs innocently.
Derek smirked and pulled Stiles into a kiss that made him feel a little lightheaded. But he could also feel Derek pulling away and that was something he definitely didn't want.
"I would, but I'm making dinner and something tells me that you haven't eaten lunch." Derek says and right on cue, Stiles stomach grumbled.
"Traitor." He mutters and Derek chuckles. He decided since Derek wasn't being any fun that he'd go have a quick shower and then do some of the homework he probably wouldn't have even thought about till morning.
Derek's water pressure was a god send. He'd never felt anything better. It pounded out the kink in his neck and relaxed the rest of his body.
His mind wondered to shower sex and sex with Derek in this shower. Steamy. Sexy. Dripping wetness. Slick skin and- nope. He should stop while he's ahead.
He wants feelings. He wants to know what Derek is like outside these set pretenses. Is he a cuddler? A fan of horror movies? Does he like Mexican food?
The essentials. And Stiles realized it was aiming him in uncharted territory. Relationship territory. That definitely wasn't a good area to go for. Derek obviously just wanted to be friends... with very great benefits.
He toweled himself off with one of the big, fluffy towels hanging on a rack and tossed his boxers back on before leaving the restroom.
The cold air hit him hard as soon as he made his exit. He realized he had the heat turned up a few notches too much while showering. But it just felt so good.
He threw on his clothes from before to warm himself up a bit. Then he walked back to the little living space where Derek had a desk he could spread his homework out on and started up on it quietly.
"You know, I don't think I've ever heard you not talk for five minutes. Should I be worried?" Derek asks, shuffling sneakily into the silent room, now fully dressed like Stiles. The room is silent except for Stiles' pencil scratching on paper.
"Huh?" He asks, stopping what he's doing. Not really understanding the question being shot towards him.
"What's on your mind?" Derek asks more clearly.
"Nothing." Stiles shrugs. Everything. His mind wasn't a safe place. It wasn't a place anyone could just be invited into.
But he knew the look Derek was giving him. The look that said he was a terrible liar and to just spit it out already. Yeah, Stiles had really learned to decode the Sourwolf's facial expressions.
"I'm just... worried? I'm not good at this whole waiting game. We know something bad is happening. We know some poor defenseless teenager is going to be next-"
"With you excluded." Derek pipes up.
"Sure." Stiles nods along. But the frown on his face becomes more noticeable and Derek takes a seat across from Stiles.
"So you're no longer worried about yourself. You're worried about everyone else." Derek says like he totally gets it now.
"I guess?" Stiles states in a question. "I mean, I just have seen so much death in such a short period of time that I'm sick of it now. I was sick of it when Peter first started killing people, but now... now Derek, it feels like my responsibility to take care of what these people don't know about."
"You know, you're only involved because of Scott."
"And now that I am involved, there's no escaping it." Stiles shrugs and turns away from Derek. He picks his pencil back up and tries to act like he's working. Maybe Derek will get the point. That he just wants to be left alone. He doesn't want to talk anymore.
But Derek's never had a thing for following Stiles' wishes.
"Do you wish you could go back?" Derek asks, softly. "Back to before you made the stupid choice to go find Laura?"
"Every day." Stiles admits with a shuddering laugh.
"There is still the option of leaving this behind, Stiles. You'll be graduating soon and then you can leave and never have to look back." Derek encourages. He tells him what he already knows. What he's already thought about countless times prior to this conversation.
"I wish it were that simple." Stiles shakes his head. "But you, them, all of this? It's gotten so far under my skin, Derek that I think it might hurt worse to let go."
"Well, I can't say I would be happy to see you go." Derek shrugs, getting back up. "Not anymore."
"Huh." Stiles grins.
"What?" Derek asks, peering behind himself to glance at Stiles while walking back to the kitchen.
"Nothing." Stiles shrugs. "I just think that may be one of the nicest things I've heard you say to me."
"Shut up, Stiles." Derek shakes his head but Stiles can tell he's smiling as he disappears.
Stiles is walking through the woods in step with his werewolf best friend a few days later. The deaths were inevitable, Stiles knew that. But with spending so much time recently with Derek, he was starting to lose focus.
So when the next body showed up, Stiles didn't exactly expect it. And he certainly didn't expect Derek and Scott's packs teaming up to deal with the whole dilemma.
"What's up with you, man?" Scott asks, when he realizes Stiles hasn't exactly been paying attention to his latest rant about his and Allison's relationship.
"What do you mean?" He asks in return.
"You've been acting really weird these last couple of days." Scott shrugs. "Do you want to talk?"
"No!" Stiles snaps quickly and then curses himself inwardly because that sounded way too defensive. "I mean, nope. Everything's good. Nothing to talk about."
"Are you sure?" Scott pokes on. "Because whenever we talk about things like Derek or our packs you get all- that."
Scott's throwing his hands up in Stiles' direction as if saying his sudden trip over a log had to do with Derek.
"I don't know what you're referring to." Stiles says. "You've always known how clumsy I can be."
"Yeah. Sure." Scott nods and continues forward.
They walk a little further till they meet up with everyone else at the tree where the last victim was strung up with a garrote to the throat.
"Isaac caught a scent." Derek says at their arrival as they are the last ones to join everyone. "It's very faint."
"So what are we waiting for? Let's go follow it." Stiles says.
"It's getting late." Derek continues.
"The scent won't be there tomorrow." Stiles shakes his head.
"I think you should go home, Stiles." He says, getting to his point.
"What are you talking about?" Stiles asks.
"Lydia and Allison are leaving too." Scott pipes up.
"There's nothing more you can do, Stiles. We've got it from here." Derek shrugs.
"You're kidding me, right?" Stiles asks.
"If anything, you'll just be dragging us behind." He says. "And besides,
it's not safe for a human to be out here in the dark."
"Bullshit." Stiles hisses. "I've been out in the woods plenty of times at night. I'm coming with you."
"Stiles, Derek has a point." Scott insists. "You can help us by researching with Allison and Lydia."
"You're taking his side?" Stiles asks, in disbelief. "Oh that's rich."
"Stilinski, get over yourself and just go home." Jackson rolls his eyes and takes off into the woods with Erica, Boyd, and Isaac following close behind.
"Stiles, listen to me, I'm just trying to look out for your safety." Derek shakes his head as Scott goes to make sure Allison and Lydia get in their car safely.
"Well stop." Stiles growls. "Nobody chooses what I get to do except me. You don't get to be one of those clingy boyfriends when all we are is a couple of guys who occasionally fuck."
"I'm sorry I-"
"I'm going." Stiles interrupts.
Stiles walks into the woods alone and ends up lost. Go figure. As he sits on a broken tree stump contemplating life, he cringes at himself.
He'd basically told Derek that they were nothing to each other. He didn't want it to be that way. Being friends with Derek made things easier, but he just made them harder anyway.
A stick breaks in the distance and he knows he's not alone. He can feel the familiar presence of someone. He's not sure who but they'll reveal themselves as soon as he's terrified enough.
"So, I've done some thinking." Jackson says, suddenly. He's sitting right next to Stiles on the tree stump and Stiles doesn't know when that happened but it made him jump nonetheless.
"Jesus Christ, Jackson." He huffs. "A warning would have been nice."
"You know, I think I may be finally understanding this whole mind game thing you and him have going on." Jackson continues, definitely ignoring him.
"First of all, I have no idea what you're talking about. Second of all, how did you find me?" He asks.
"Well, Derek was going to but I suggested I could because I'm pretty sure you two idiots have no idea what's going on." Jackson shrugs.
"And you do?" Stiles rolls his eyes.
"He's hard to work with when he's grumpy. Especially over you." Jackson nods.
"Yeah well, that's just his personality." Stiles shakes his head and gets up, planning on finding his way back.
"You know, it's kind of obvious." Jackson says. And doesn't that peek his interests?
"What?" Stiles asks, turning to face his ex-rival.
"The way you feel about him." Jackson says. "I've figured it out. The other's are starting to see too. Lydia's known for a while and she's over the moon about it."
"How'd you-"
"I guess now I'm starting to get the appeal to it." Jackson continues. "Having someone so powerful wrapped around your boney little finger."
"He's not-"
"Denial doesn't look good on you, Stilinski." He rolls his eyes. "Besides, if anyone else went against what he wanted, he'd probably-"
"Rip their throat out with his teeth?" Stiles finishes for him.
"Exactly." Jackson nods.
Jackson's walking away before he can ask him really anything else. So he does the noble thing and follows him.
When they get back to their cars, Derek's already zooming away in his sleek Camaro. And Stiles is sighing in defeat. He needs to apologize for being a dick.
"Hey man, Erica's giving Isaac, Boyd, and me and ride." Scott says, sidling up to him. "I figured you'd want some time to yourself."
"I'm okay." Stiles nods. "But there is something I have to do."
"I'll see you tomorrow." Scott smiles timidly.
"Yeah buddy." Stiles agrees and is hauling ass to Derek's in his jeep.
He figures as soon as Derek sees him at his door, he'll slam it in his face. Which is why, he's totally shocked when that doesn't happen.
He's at Derek's door and of course he never has to knock but he's knocking now because he knows Derek would probably rather not see him.
But he's at the door, knocking as the door is sliding open and he's being swept up into a soft kiss. A kiss that bleeds out an apology that isn't even necessary.
And Stiles is very, very confused.
"I'm sorry, Stiles." He says and suddenly, it's all okay. Even better than okay. "I know what I said was selfish and stupid and I had no right to tell you what you could do but I was worried you'd get hurt."
"You need to stop talking." Stiles says, mind buzzy, clutching tighter to Derek's thin grey v-neck. It was doing wonders for his figure.
"But I-"
"I was a dick too." Stiles shakes his head, holding a hand up to stop Derek from interrupting.
He's now letting go of the bulking muscles he still wants to cling to and sitting down on Derek's really uncomfortable couch. Derek follows closely behind.
"I didn't mean what I said about us just being two guys who occasionally have sex. You're more to me and you know that. I know that. We're friends and I care about you and it was selfish of me to act like you don't care about me, though you've said you do." Stiles explains.
"I do, Stiles." Derek nods.
"And I know that." Stiles says. "Even though it's still hard for me to believe."
Derek clearly wants to say something but he figures it's better not to. Stiles doesn't encourage him to either. All he wants is for it to all be less complicated than it already is.
And he knows it's going to get even more complicated. Because Derek was acting like a clingy, worried boyfriend. And Stiles found himself liking it. Feeding off of it.
It would only get worse. His feelings would only make him feel a deeper connection. More than one just on a sexual level.
And the hard part was realizing that he already was feeling something more. He always had felt something more. Like a profound bond. And he was totally watching too much Supernatural.
"I promise I'll let you make your own decisions, no matter how stupid they are." Derek blurts. "If that's what you want."
"It's not." Stiles chuckles. "If they're really that stupid, you've got to stop me."
"Alright." Derek agrees.
"I should go." Stiles says, because he knows what he wants now. And it isn't sex.
"Of course." Derek nods, getting up from the couch to walk to the door with Stiles.
"Thanks for the apology." Stiles blushes. "Even though I totally didn't need it."
"That goes both ways." Derek shrugs.
"I'll see you around." Stiles chuckles, realizing Derek's hand is kind of in his.
"Yeah." Derek agrees and is leaning in for a kiss but Stiles is turning away. He only gets the corner of his lips.
"Sorry, I just-"
"It's okay." Derek shakes his head.
"No, it's just, if we start there I won't leave." Stiles blushes and looks at his shoes.
"You're an idiot." Derek is saying fondly, but is lifting Stiles' chin and planting a chaste kiss on his lips anyway.
"Leaving me wanting more?" Stiles asks, breathless.
"Maybe." Derek nods, sliding the door open.
"I didn't know Derek Hale could be such a tease." Stiles chuckles.
"You learn something new everyday." Derek says. "Goodbye Stiles."
"Night Sourwolf." Stiles grins, taking the stairs down to his jeep with a skip in his step.
The next few days pass by in a haze of sex and normalcy. Well, as normal as this new routine with Derek was getting.
There weren't any more leads on the murders and the packs didn't try to go looking. They had nothing to look for. They were at a dead end. Or more specifically, a crossroad.
"Does it ever make you want to leave?" Stiles asks Derek, who is currently running his fingers through Stiles' hair after their second round of sex that day.
"Does what make me want to leave?" Derek asks in a content voice. When Stiles looks up, his eyes are closed and his head his resting against the wall.
"All the death." Stiles murmurs. Derek's eyes slowly spring open and it looks like he's contemplating his answer.
"I did leave because of all the death." Derek settles on.
"But you came back to even more death." Stiles says. "Do you ever wonder what it'd be like if you never came back?"
"All the time." Derek confirms what he already feels he knows. "I miss Laura more than anything. Because even when I had no one else, she was still there."
"And now you're stuck with psycho Peter and Cora and it's just not the same." Stiles sighs. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even brought it up."
"You talk a lot, Stiles. It's a thing I'm learning to get used to." Derek shakes his head. "And it does make me feel a little better to tell someone what's in my head."
"Okay." Stiles nods. "I'm hungry. Think we could order a pizza?"
"Or I could make one." Derek suggests.
"No, that requires you leaving this bed and we both don't want that." Stiles shakes his head and finds Derek's lips with his. "Just order from that joint on the corner of the block. They deliver."
"I will... if you'd... stop... that..." Derek murmurs in between each kiss.
Stiles snatches Derek's phone from the bedside table and calls and orders for them. One large three meat pizza for the both of them. Stiles would most likely get a slice or two and Derek would eat the rest.
"You're paying." He says when he hangs up and tackles Derek back into the bed.
"Oh, I see what this whole relationship is about. You're with me for my money." Derek jokes.
"The looks are an added bonus." Stiles agrees and leans down to lap at his collar bone.
Derek looks down to see the purple mark blossoming and not fading.
"Shouldn't that be going away?" Stiles asks, gliding his fingers across the patch of skin.
"Not if I don't want it to." Derek admits.
"Hmm, I like that." Stiles grins, as their noses touch.
"So, be careful where you put those." Derek says, intertwining their fingers. "Wouldn't want to get caught."
"But that's the thrill, getting caught." Stiles grins wider.
"You have a habit of having bad luck, Stiles. Don't wish more on yourself." Derek shakes his head.
They make out for about ten minutes before the doorbell rings and neither of them want to get the pizza.
But of course, Derek goes and gets it because Stiles is a lazy son of a bitch. And Derek seems to do just about anything for him.
They eat in Derek's bed in comfortable silence. Derek doesn't have a tv in his room. Not any source of entertainment, really. He's got a book shelf that could rival a library, though.
Stiles gets up, tossing some boxers on as he shuffles through some books that seem more alluring than others.
"Why do you have so many?" He asks, flipping through a few pages of To Kill A Mockingbird.
"My family liked to read." He says, clearing his mouth of pizza before speaking. "They were salvaged in the fire."
Stiles picks up one with a charred front cover.
"Some are worse for wear than others." He shrugs, getting up to join the teen.
"But they're important. Because they were from before..." Stiles trails off softly. He understands. "My mom had this perfume bottle and it's almost empty, not useful at all. But I kept it and sometimes I'll look at it and it'll feel like she's there."
"I'm sorry you lost her. She was a great woman." Derek sighs, wrapping Stiles in his arms.
"You knew her?" Stiles asks.
"She was my first grade teacher." Derek nods. He sees the tears in Stiles as he pulls away but then he hears a laugh come from his lips. "What?"
"Nothing. Just imagining you as a first grader." Stiles smiles.
"I was a horrible little shit." Derek shook his head.
"I bet she loved you." Stiles says. "She did in fact, love me."
"And how could she be biased if her son was a little shit." Derek smiles back.
Stiles blushes, grabs a book, and settles back into the bed. He holds the book out to Derek.
"Read to me?" He asks.
And Derek does. Until he has to let Stiles get home before his dad realizes he was ever gone.
"Earth to Stiles!" Scott's fingers are snapping in front of his face when he goes back to reality. "Seriously, man. This is the third time this week."
"Sorry." Stiles apologizes, rubbing a hand across his face. "I haven't been sleeping."
"Why not?" Scott asks.
"Something's just been keeping me up." Stiles shrugs.
"Or someone." Danny says, taking a seat across from Jackson, next to Stiles.
"Shut up." Stiles hisses.
"So what is it?" Scott asks. "Because you've been weirdly cryptic as of late."
"You're so obtuse." Jackson mutters and Stiles shoots a death glare his way, which he gladly ignores.
"Just stuff, Scott." Stiles huffs.
"But-"
"And no," Stiles snaps at Jackson and Danny. "It's not because of a person."
"Hey Danny, can I steal you away for a second?" Ethan asks, understanding that whatever Stiles wants to say, it's something Danny's not in the loop about.
As soon as they're gone, Stiles spills.
"It's the murders." Stiles sighs. "They're keeping me awake because-"
"Because they're all virgins?" Scott asks, eyes widening. "Or three of them were, at least."
"No-"
"Stiles, I understand that you think there's a possibility you could get-"
"I'm not a fucking virgin anymore, okay?" He practically yells and most of the people in the cafeteria are turning to look at him now.
"Wait, since when?" Scott asks quietly, looking like a kicked puppy. "With who."
"It doesn't matter. The fact is, I was scared, so I took care of it." Stiles sighed.
"Dude, why wouldn't you tell me? You've been complaining about losing your virginity since sophomore year, to me." Scott says.
"Because Scott, it's personal." Stiles hisses. "It's not something I'm going to tell just anyone."
"But it's me, Stiles!" Scott exclaims. "We tell each other everything."
"Well, maybe we shouldn't." Stiles huffs, gets up from the lunch table, and exits the cafeteria.
Since then, he has been cornered in the hallway by not just girls, but guys too.
"Hi Stiles." He didn't even know who the girl was.
"Hi." He says, continuing his path to the locker room.
"So I heard about your V-card." She grinned.
"Mhmm." He says and before she can offer him anything, he turns the corner to the locker room where a few of his teammates already are.
He's never really been noticed when he enters the locker room, but today a few of the guys stare.
He stows away in a corner where no one else is and starts to strip to get into his lacrosse gear.
"Hey Stiles." A guy he thinks is named Theo suddenly shows up when he's clad in just his boxers.
"Can I help you?" He asks.
"I think we could help each other, if you know what I mean." He smirks, sidling up to Stiles.
"No, I don't know what you-"
And suddenly there are lips against his and a hand crawling against his inner thigh and he doesn't have any time to react.
He shoves Theo away and backs up against the lockers.
"What the hell, man?" He yelps.
"Well I just heard-"
"I'm with someone." Stiles says quickly, because it's the only way he thinks people will get off his back.
"Oh." Theo looks surprised, as if all he can get is a one night stand. Maybe that's what all these people think of him.
"I'm not that kind of guy." He blushes.
"I'm sorry, Stiles." He apologizes.
"Uh, don't be. It's okay." Stiles shook his head. Theo didn't say anything else as he left Stiles alone.
He didn't think he could go through practice with any focus, so he threw his civilian clothes back on. And then headed to Derek's.
"Don't hate me, but I think I just told the whole school that I was in a relationship." Stiles blurts as soon as Derek opens the door.
"Stiles!" Derek exclaims. "What part of secret-"
"They don't know it's you!" Stiles complains. "I could totally pull this fake relationship thing off."
"How do they know, anyway?" Derek asks.
"I kind of yelled at Scott and said I wasn't a virgin and the whole cafeteria heard. Then people were hitting on me, expecting that I'd be into one night stands, but after Theo kissed me, I said I was taken." Stiles explains.
"Someone kissed you?" Derek asks.
"Yeah." Stiles nods. "Totally one sided but mmph-"
Derek was pressing Stiles against the door and covering his mouth with his.
"This compromise, means I'm the only one who can kiss you." Derek says with force.
“I never thought jealousy would be a good look on you.” Stiles grins, shrieking as soon as Derek hauls him to the bedroom on his shoulder.
“You’re toxic, you know that?” Derek asks, dropping Stiles onto the mattress and following right after.
“Toxic?” Stiles asks, because that definitely doesn’t sound like a compliment.
“Mmm…” Derek trails off, licking a trail up Stiles’ neck and he shudders. “I want you. All the time. Only you.”
That’s got Stiles’ toes curling and he preens at the thought. Only him. Derek just wants him and only ever thinks about him. Granted, it’s probably only in these kinds of positions, but still.
“Like a drug.” He finishes.
“Okay,” Stiles starts, fingers tugging on Derek’s shirt. “Let’s get rid of this. Like yesterday, please.”
Derek chuckles and pulls the henley over his head by the collar of the shirt. Stiles immediately touches the chiseled abs that he loves so much. His hand trails down to the waistband of Derek’s jeans and he pulls him closer so they are fully pressed against each other.
“You like to get me undressed, but what about you? You don’t like to show a lot of skin, Stiles.” He purrs into his ear.
“Ha! Are you kidding me? Compared to you and all-“ He circulates his hand around Derek’s… everything. “that.”
“You know, maybe pale ass, scrawny, and moles is my type.” Derek shrugs, pulling Stiles up, straddling his hips. He pulls Stiles’ plaid shirt off his shoulders and then the t-shirt underneath.
“I hate you so much.” Stiles shakes his head, trying to hide his blush.
“You really don’t know how attractive you are, do you?” Derek asks.
“I’m…average.” Stiles says awkwardly.
“No Stiles, you’re a lot better than average.”
“You may be bias. Pale ass, scrawny, and moles isn’t everyone’s type.” Stiles argues.
“But it should be.” Derek smirks.
The rest of their clothes come off in the next few minutes and Stiles is receiving the best blow job he's ever had when his phone starts to ring.
"Ignore it, please!" Stiles moans, gripping on to Derek's hair tighter.
"Are you sure?" Derek asks, looking up at him with plump, red lips and disheveled hair.
"Yeah just, don't stop." Stiles nods.
The ringing eventually stops and Derek gets back into a comfortable rhythm. Until, it rings again. And Stiles does everything he can to ignore once more. He's close and he'd just like to get this over with so he can experience that bliss.
The third time, Stiles picks up the phone to Derek's surprise while he's still sucking his dick. Stiles knows it's a bad idea but the person on the other end is being persistent and he needs to end this now so he can enjoy his time with Derek.
"What?" He groans, he can barely speak at this point.
"Stiles? We've been trying to get a hold of you for ten minutes! Derek, too!" Scott exclaims through the little piece of technology.
"Sorry, been busy." Stiles pants to the side so Scott can't hear him.
"We're on our way to Derek's. Almost there, actually. Can you meet us?" Scott asks.
"Shit." He curses. He holds the phone so Scott can't hear him and speaks to Derek. "Your pack and Scott's are on their way here."
Derek just nods and continues to suck Stiles off. This needs to happen so much faster than it is.
"Yeah, Scott. I'm actually already here." His voice cracks as he says the last few syllables.
"Great! We'll see you in three minutes." Scott replies, just as Derek is shoving a finger up his ass and he yelps.
"Yes!" He shouts back into the phone and then he's coming. He hangs up without another word and stares at Derek, lapping up the mess.
His bones feel brittle and all he wants to do is lay back and enjoy the feelings that are about to wash over but he knows he can't. He's up and pulling his clothes back on before he even has a second to reminisce.
"They'll be here any minute." Stiles tells Derek, shoving his clothes into his arms so he'll get dressed. "Do you think they'll smell the sex on us?"
"Maybe. Most of them don't know what that smells like to their werewolf noses, though." Derek shrugs, taking his time to get decent for their guests.
"Hurry up!" Stiles says, pulling Derek's shirt over the rest of him.
"Now the way I remembered this ten minutes ago was you trying to take my clothes off." Derek smirks.
"Don't be an asshole." Stiles hisses. "We need to figure out what this whole dilemma is about."
"Of course." Derek nods and follows Stiles down to the main area of the loft before they hear footsteps heading up the flight of stairs.
Derek kisses him just before his front door is sliding open. It leaves Stiles reeling and wanting more. Which is why he hates Derek and his smug face right about now.
"Stilinski's here?" Jackson asks, as Derek is stepping forward to shuffle all the obnoxious teenagers into his house.
"He was helping me with research." Derek nods, shutting the door behind... Danny. "Hold on, who is this?"
"This is one of the important things we needed to talk about." Scott laughs awkwardly. He's never good in crowds. Stiles is still trying to figure out if he's a good leader.
"Danny figured out all the secrets we've been trying hard to hide." Jackson said blandly.
"It wasn't that hard to piece together, and do you know how loud you guys talk at lunch?" Danny pipes in.
"Yeah, like how Stilinski told the whole school he was fucking-"
Stiles is watching Derek who is at his side. His hands are clenching a bit while Jackson's speaking about him.
"Enough." Derek growls. "Why'd you bringing him here without asking me first?"
"He's not in your pack." Scott says firmly, taking his place as alpha.
"That still doesn't make it okay for you to just invite him over-"
"I'm sorry this is such an inconvenience to you. But Danny was the one who figured out what's been going on and what's going to happen next." Scott shrugs. "So if you'd like to listen..."
"It's called a three-fold death. I'm not really sure who's behind it. We have to talk to your veterinarian friend to get some more insight. But this thing has obviously gone through virgins already. Now there's warriors, healers, philosophers, and guardians." Danny explained. "I did some research on telluric currents and it seems like the places these people were taken, were not the same places they ended up."
"But you don't know who's next?" Stiles interrupts.
"No." Danny shakes his head. "That's all I could figure out with the information I had."
"Then Derek and I will go talk to Deaton." Stiles plans.
"Remind me again why I left a pack full of teenagers in my loft just to go talk to a vet for information?" Derek says, getting out of his car with Stiles trailing behind him. They'd already arrived to see Deaton. Heaven knew it was always a challenge to get answers from that man.
"I figured we both needed some space and so I got us some alone time." Stiles shrugs. "You'll thank me later."
"You want something, don't you?" Derek stops walking to look at Stiles.
"Yes, I want answers. Let's go." Stiles tries to continue walking but Derek pulls his arm back.
"That's not it." Derek shakes his head but lets Stiles' arm go.
"It's nothing." Stiles tells him and continues his path to the door. Derek decides to let it go for just a little while.
They walk into the vet's clinic with minimal banter and are greeted by Deaton. It seemed that even though the man had no supernatural abilities, he was still one of the scariest people Stiles knew.
"I had a feeling you two would show up sooner or later." Deaton tells them.
He's putting a cat away which is randomly hissing at Derek and Stiles is laughing. Derek glares at him and looks like he wants to punch him in the face. That just makes Stiles laugh more.
"So do you know what's going on?" Derek asks.
"I do." Deaton nods. "I was waiting for you to figure it out first."
"Why?" Stiles asks. "This isn't exactly a situation where you can take all the time you need."
"I'm glad you feel that way." Deaton says, going to a cabinet and pulling out a few things.
"Of course we feel that way. These are innocent lives!" Stiles complains.
"Pardon me?" Deaton asks.
"We're talking about two different things, aren't we?" Derek asks. He's confused but understands the look Deaton is giving him.
"I apologize for the confusion. What is it that you need help with?" He asks. He's brushing off the subject he was thinking about completely. Derek can tell Stiles doesn't want to just forget about it but they have more pressing issues.
Stiles explains the things that Danny told them. Mentioning all the things Derek already forgot about. Stiles really seems to trust that this kid knows what he's talking about. Especially with the telluric currents.
Deaton seems to know exactly what Stiles is referring to. He has Stiles talking to him even as he looks around in a few drawers for what seems to be a giant map of Beacon Hills.
Derek blanks out on the explanation that Deaton is giving to Stiles about how the telluric currents really work. The thing that catches Derek the most is when Deaton talks about a Nemeton. It just sounds like a big stupid tree at first.
Stiles nods along when Deaton says it's actually the power source for all things supernatural in Beacon Hills. Creatures of different species all draw off of it. That's what the wolf packs draw on during the full moon and when they need their strength.
Deaton also mentions Druids. Ones that aren't exactly right in the head. They're a different form of supernatural creature. He thinks that the only possible explanation for all the sacrifices is a dark Druid calling on dark forces for power.
"It's called a Darach. It narrowly means dark oak, where Druid means wise oak. Essentially it is a Druid who went down the wrong path." Deaton explains.
"What about the telluric currents? Why are the victims taken from one place and killed in another?" Derek finally adds his curiosity to the mix.
"I compared Mr. Māhealani's map to Chris Argent's. They show these intersecting lines. The bodies are taken and sacrificed at these intersecting points." Deaton points at the places he has marked for the three virgin victims. Then he slides his fingers to point out the newest three victims.
"We have some information on the new people. They aren't virgins. This Darach person has to be moving on." Stiles says.
"The next three were warriors." Derek tells Deaton. He researched a little on his own about them. He knew it was freaking Stiles out so he needed to see if he could figure out any more information.
"Yes, they were all associated with war." Deaton nods.
"Like Boyd's friend, and Mr. Harris. You think he's really dead? He hasn't shown up anywhere." Stiles says.
"Ms. Martin had a hand in helping me look into Mr. Harris' disappearance. We found a few sheets of paper in his classroom that were oddly graded. That's what gave me more insight into the problem." Deaton continues. He goes to his file cabinet and pulls out some tests from the senior class at school. There are six tests. Each one has a letter on it.
D. A. R. A. C. H.
Of course Mr. Harris would figure it out. He was always too suspicious for his own good. Or maybe, he was on the wrong side of things this whole time. Maybe, he wasn't missing. Maybe, it was him...
"Thanks Deaton, for your help." Derek says appreciatively.
"If I knew more, I feel I'd be of more use but right now, it's all still up in the air." He nods solemnly.
"We really should get going." Derek then says. He looks at Stiles who seems to be a little antsy over something. Derek wants to know what is on his mind but he's not going to push right now.
"I'll let you know if I find out more." Deaton says, ushering them out of the clinic.
The walk back to Derek's car is quiet. Stiles looks like he's deep and thought. It scares Derek just a little bit. The boy's always so talkative so it's a strange change of pace when there's no conversation flowing.
When Stiles is so quiet, it usually means he's not okay. He bottles up a lot of what he doesn't want people to know. Derek's learned that in the past couple weeks. The only way Derek knows how to make Stiles talk is to make him calm. He looks anything but calm in that moment.
"Come on." Derek says, telling Stiles to get into the car. "I want to show you something."
Stiles is a little more verbal when Derek starts driving. There are repeated questions of where they are going and why Derek won't tell him where they are going. He also expresses his hatred of surprises.
Derek pulls up to the edge of a cliff after driving out of Beacon Hills. It's getting a bit darker now since Stiles had been at the loft for a little while after school and talking to Deaton took some of their time away.
He shuts the car off and motions for Stiles to follow him outside. He loves this spot more than anything. He came here a lot after the fire and even before. When he was with Kate. Even when he was with Paige. It gave him a space to think without his family in a close proximity to torture him with questions.
You could see all of Beacon Hills from that point. The small town was glowing and buzzing with quiet energy. He feels his shoulders relax as he can smell the peacefulness and serenity. The wind is very mild that day and it only just brushes across his skin with a gentle touch.
Stiles hasn't spoken at all since he'd parked the car. He was slow to get out of the vehicle as well. Derek can feel his frustration. He wants to say something but doesn't know how. Derek saves him from having to figure it out.
"I used to come here a lot. Before the fire. After the fire." Derek tells him. He can't exactly look his way. He sighs when Stiles stays silent. He knows he wants him to go on. "I liked the fact that I was able to come out here and get away from my family to figure out my own struggles. It gave me a place to think."
"Derek, if you want me to-"
"I'm not asking you to talk, Stiles." Derek interrupts him. There's a slightly shocked expression on Stiles face and he closes his mouth. "I've never had anyone here with me before and I usually just think about things on my own. But maybe, it's time I told someone about the things I decided up here. The things that made me the person I am."
"I'm not asking for a tell-all about your past Derek." Stiles sighs. "You don't have to tell me anything."
"I want to." Derek realizes as soon as he says it. Because out of anyone else in the pack, he trusts Stiles most. He trusts him more than his own sister.
"Okay." Stiles nods and Derek turns to him. He's staring at Derek patiently. Stiles never seemed like someone who had that quality. He knew Stiles was the kind of person that liked answers as soon as they were available to him.
Derek doesn't speak for a while. He doesn't know what he wants to tell Stiles, because there's a lot he could. He has so much baggage, it's hard to remember when his life got so complicated. Maybe he should just start at the beginning.
"I want to get out of here." Stiles says abruptly. Derek was just about to settle on his first point of conversation when Stiles made the remark. It startles him a little and he looks at Stiles with curiosity.
"Okay. We can leave." Derek nods. He's not going to force Stiles to sit and listen. He has some heavy stuff on his belt. Maybe Stiles just doesn't want the burden.
"That- that's not what I meant." Stiles shakes his head a forces Derek to stay where he is. "I meant that, uh, well my dad brought home college pamphlets the other night. And I've been thinking- I just don't think I can do this anymore."
"Oh." Derek voices his surprise. He didn't expect Stiles to hit him with something so life altering. Stiles leaving wasn't on his list of priorities. He'd even told Derek that there was no way he could get out even if he wanted to.
"That's what I, uh, have been so weird about lately. And I haven't told anyone about it except my dad. He's actually encouraging me to do it. He thinks I'll be able to live a better life somewhere else." Stiles explains. He's got this nervous look on his face that's making Derek anxious. It's like Stiles wants something from him. His approval? He doesn't need that. Stiles isn't pack. He can't tell him what to do.
"Why are you telling me now?" Derek asks.
"Because I feel so alone." Stiles admits softly. Derek doesn't like the way his face changes. He becomes somber and closed off. Derek knows how he feels. He'd been through that kind of thing. Multiple times now.
"You don't have to do this alone." Derek tells him. He needs to know that Derek's there for whatever he needs. He'd never just abandon Stiles out of the blue.
"I'm sick of feeling weak. Like I can't do anything to help. And there's all this death and I don't know how to stop it. I just don't want blood on my hands even though it's already there." Stiles panics. Derek watches as he sits on the ground and curls into himself. He's looking out to the town, trying to breathe evenly.
"None of what you've gone through is your fault." Derek says, taking a seat next him.
"You sound like a therapist." Stiles wheezes and tries his best to get a laugh in there.
"I'm serious, Stiles. You haven't hurt anyone." Derek says. Stiles has to understand that just because he's been a part of this all, it doesn't make him responsible. There are plenty of people responsible.
"But I don't want to stick around and watch someone die because I wasn't quick enough, or strong enough, or smart enough." Stiles tells him desperately. "I don't want to see someone I care about, be a casualty to this mess we've gotten into."
"I'm not going to stop you from going." Derek says indignantly. He'd never want to hold him back. Stiles deserved better anyway. It would be good for him to get out of their corrupt world.
"I didn't say you would." Stiles says defensively. "I just, want you to help me through it."
"I can try." Derek nods.
They aren't looking at each other now. Derek feels Stiles, especially this close. He's like this emotional ball of energy and it's eating away at Derek. He doesn't like it. He wants it to stop.
Stiles' breathing slows after a while. He likes the silence. Silence helps them think. There are still so many things to say, but neither of them say any. It's dumb on both their parts. They can't get anything out in the open, even between the two of them.
Derek can see the preserve from where he sits. He wants to tell Stiles a million memories about Cora, Laura, and him running through those woods. They used to get into so much trouble. They did things that could rival whatever Scott and Stiles did as kids or still do.
Derek is thinking of this one specific time when Laura bullied him into playing hide and seek with her. He couldn't find her for hours. And it got dark and he got lost and because he was only eight, he got scared being all alone by himself. He eventually found his way home and cried to their mom about it.
Laura was pissed.
But Derek enjoyed that memory. Because he enjoyed all the memories he had now that he couldn't make any more with his eldest sister. In that moment, he missed her more than anything. He missed the way things used to be. Before the fire.
"Have you ever been in love?" Stiles asks softly in the moonlight. Derek hadn't realized how late it had gotten. He also doesn't know how to answer Stiles' question.
"Twice." Derek says finally. He knows Stiles will want an explanation. He just needs a few minutes to figure out how to tell Stiles that his first love died and his second love was a manipulative bitch. "Her name was Paige."
"What was she like?" Stiles asks quietly. Curiosity in his eyes, though Derek didn't look into them long enough to see anything else.
"She was nothing like me. I don't even know how I got her to fall for me. She hated me in the beginning. Wouldn't even tell me her name." Derek admits. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He didn't care how young they were. She was it for him. But his life never worked out the way he wanted it to.
"Did you lose your virginity to her?" Stiles asks. It's a very personal question. Not one he expected to be asked. He also didn't know it would hurt so much.
"She died before we could." Derek whispers.
"So when you told me you knew some people liked it to be special-"
"She was the one." Derek nods. He feels tortured while talking about her. She was amazing and beautiful and didn't deserve the way she left the world. He didn't know if he could admit to Stiles that it was his fault. He knows Stiles understands that when he was in high school, he wanted things to be special with her.
"So... Kate?" He asks.
"Yeah." Derek nods. "I had a shitty first time. I didn't want that for you."
"I'm glad it was you." Stiles says honestly. There's no blip in his heartbeat and it makes Derek stiffen. Stiles grabs his hand and squeezes it. He doesn't seem to plan on letting go. "It may have not been anywhere special or even remotely romantic, but it's better than I expected my first time to be."
"I cried after it was over." Derek blushes, trying not to look at Stiles. But Stiles was a persistent little shit and cupped Derek's cheek in his palm, drawing their eyes towards each other. His experience with Kate had be rough and unpleasant. He didn't want to show Stiles how much it pained him to talk about.
"I'm sorry." Stiles tells him somberly. He can feel what Stiles is trying to get through to him. Sorry you had such a crappy childhood. Sorry you still don't like the life you're living. Sorry I can't be more for you. Sorry I can't make your life better.
Stiles draws him into a soft kiss. Derek doesn't want to talk anymore. He thinks Stiles understands that and is looking to show comfort in a different way. And Derek thinks because of that, he may be okay.
When they get back to the loft, the pack is still there. Stiles can tell Derek wants to be left alone. He hadn't said anything on the way back and it made Stiles feel a little awkward. They walk up the many flights of stairs together without words.
The pack's eyes are drawn to them when Derek slides the door open. Immediately there are questions. Derek dodges them all and heads upstairs to his room. He wants to be alone.
"I talked to Deaton once you left the clinic at five. Where did you guys go after that?" Scott asks.
"We just went somewhere and talked." Stiles admits. Because even though it's risky to tell them anything about he and Derek's relationship, he doesn't think this is giving too much away. And he's sick of the lies.
"About what? Your feelings?" Jackson snorts.
"Yeah." Stiles nods.
"He opened up to you?" Cora steps forward and asks him. "I'm his sister and he hasn't treated me like it since before the fire."
"Maybe because all he sees when he looks at you is the pain he caused." Stiles snaps. They don't understand. Derek may seem stoic at all times, but he needs to be. He is so broken inside. And nobody cares to ask him if he's really okay. "You don't get it, do you? None of you do. He has feelings too, you know."
"And my nephew told you all of this?" Peter drawls, slinking his way toward Stiles.
"No. Stiles doesn't need to ask. He watches." Lydia says. Stiles thanks all that is holy for the beautiful red-headed goddess. She always has been on his side in times of need.
"I think it would be better if you all just left." Stiles sighs.
"But what about what you talked about with Deaton?" Cora asks.
"We'll deal with it tomorrow. We're not doing this without the alpha." Stiles states firmly. The pack is looking at him funny after that. He realizes what he's said and mentally hits himself in the face. The alpha. Like he's the most important person to all of them.
"Uh... I think that may be a good idea." Scott agrees. He'd caught on to the weirdness of Stiles' wordage. Stiles takes in a deep breath and tries to relax. He didn't spill anything. He didn't.
The pack shuffles out eventually. Peter leaves first. Stiles didn't expect him to show up in the first place. Doesn't know why he stayed. He wasn't very welcome anymore. But Stiles wasn't going to kick him out. He was still powerful enough to kick Stiles' ass.
Boyd and Erica leave together. They talk to Scott before they leave in a hushed tone. Stiles can't help but think they're talking about him. Him and Derek at least. What they're becoming. What they are.
Danny is actually still there to Stiles' surprise. He stuck to Jackson's side but that wasn't unusual. Since they are best friends, Stiles sees how Danny would see Jackson as a comforting presence in a room full of people with strange abilities.
Jackson ends up taking Danny and Lydia home shortly after Scott's voiced that they should all leave. He's not to keen on knowing as little information as possible. He just about has a tantrum demanding Stiles to spill all the information.
Scott pushes him out the door with Lydia's help. Scott nods at Stiles and ushers Allison out of the apartment after them. Scott understands that Stiles needs time to fix this. Fix whatever happened between him and Derek before they can even begin figuring out where they go from there.
Isaac and Cora are the last two people in the pack that stick around. Considering they both live in the loft, Stiles isn't surprised that they're waiting to see if they're able to stay. Stiles gives Cora a look and for some reason, she knows exactly what he needs.
"Isaac, why don't we go out for some food? We have nothing to eat here and I feel like I could eat a horse." Cora quips and drags him out the door after snatching her purse from the couch it was resting on.
Stiles sighs in relief when he's alone. Well, he's not really alone. He has a grumpy pain-in-the-ass werewolf moping around in his room. Stiles doesn't exactly feel like dealing with Derek at this point. He doesn't even know what's upsetting him.
It could be the memories. Derek had said that he'd never told another soul about the things he'd thought about outside of Beacon Hills. Maybe they were too much for Derek. Everything the alpha had gone through sounded too painful to even comprehend, let alone live.
Stiles cautiously makes his way up the swirling stairs to Derek's bedroom. He doesn't know what he was expecting to find when he opened Derek's door but any empty room definitely wasn't it.
He steps inside the surprisingly cold room and takes it in. The window is open. That's why the room is below room temperature. And Stiles suspects -since Derek is a supernatural being- that he took the window as an escape route. Just like how he entered Stiles' bedroom so many times before.
Stiles walks to the window and peers outside. Down below, on the balcony on the floor Stiles had just been on prior to coming upstairs, is Derek. He's looking out at the dark city around him and he's just oozing off waves of angst. Even from several feet above, Stiles can feel it.
Stiles makes the decision to talk to Derek on a whim. He heads back downstairs and towards that balcony that he's only been on a time or two before. He thinks talking to Derek is a bad idea because he doesn't even know how to start the conversation. How is he supposed to make Derek feel better?
He knows that Derek notices his presence because he stiffens. That's the last thing Stiles wants to see. He wants Derek to be comfortable with him. But Derek is such a bottled up person that Stiles doesn't see that happening any time soon. He won't even look at him.
"I didn't tell you how she died." Derek mutters into the cold open space in front of him. He still doesn't look at Stiles. It crushes him because he wants Derek to talk to him. He wants Derek to see that he's going to be there for him.
"Paige?" He asks, softly. He's not going to come on strong with Derek. This is definitely the thing that the man kept locked away from everyone.
"I wanted to be with her. For the rest of my life." Derek nods. "Peter convinced me that the only way for that to be was to turn her."
Derek has his hands resting on the wall saving them from falling to their deaths in case they were to fall off the ledge. Except, now he's clenching his fists as he holds on to it. Like it pains him to continue the story.
Stiles wants to protest. Wants to tell Derek that he doesn't need to know everything. Not if Derek isn't fully ready to come clean about his past. But he can't do it. Because he's a selfish person. And he's curious to know what made Derek the man he is.
So he doesn't say a word. And neither does Derek for a few beats. Even without werewolf hearing, he can almost hear how fast Derek's heart is pounding. How nervous and terrified he is about letting someone in. Stiles doesn't want him to feel obligated.
He sidles up to Derek's right side. Just so he's closer to him. Just so he can comfort him if need be. But he doesn't touch him yet. He just looks. He takes long moments to just gaze at Derek's profile. From any angle, there is no doubt that Derek is attractive.
Stiles could go on for days about Derek's scruff and how there's just enough but not an overwhelming amount of facial hair painting his skin, styled to perfection. He could talk about Derek's bone structure and how his jaw line could cut through ice.
Stiles can even see Derek's eyelashes. How they're long but not as long as his. His eyelashes are just long enough that they brush across his under eye in soft little swipes. He gets lost in everything that is Derek Hale.
He's brought back to earth when Derek begins talking again.
"I was naive and young so I thought it was the right call to make. My mom would never do it. But there were multiple packs in town. Peter orchestrated the whole thing." Derek explained. Stiles could sense his pain but he just kept going. Like once the words started coming, they wouldn't stop. "And when I tried to stop it, it was too late. She was bitten against her will and it was my fault."
Derek's slightly shaking now. Stiles reaches out and touches his hand. Just rests it on top of Derek's. Noticeably, Derek calms down and takes a deep breath. Stiles doesn't remove his hand.
"Sometimes... the bite doesn't take." Derek finally says. Stiles knows those words are hard for him to get out. The pressure of those words. How Derek spoke them. He was so broken.
"And then she died?" Stiles asks. He doesn't want Derek to have to say it. It can't be worse than this. It can't be. Stiles can't imagine losing someone he loves. Someone that's not a parent. Someone you just were destined to be with. He couldn't imagine losing Derek. It hurt to even think about it.
"No." Derek breathes out. "She didn't just die."
Derek rips his hand away from Stiles and moves to the other side of the balcony. Like he can't stand to be in the same vicinity as him. Derek's grasping his hair, ready to pull it out. Stiles wants to help. But he doesn't know how.
"I took her to a root cellar.” He tells him. "I watched as she bled black blood and suffered. I held her in my arms. And I tried to take her pain."
"Derek-"
"She asked me to make it stop." Derek says quietly. "She asked me."
"Derek, stop." Stiles shakes his head. Demanding Derek to let it go. But Derek shakes his head.
"I killed her!" It rumbles out of his stomach and into a roar. He's completely wolfed-out. His alpha eyes shine like blood in the pitch-black night.
Stiles should be scared. He knows he should. But Derek... He's fascinating. He knows his eyes are probably wide and maybe he does look horrified, but he's not. Because Derek's not a monster, no matter how hard he tries to make himself look like one.
"I'm sorry." Derek says suddenly. His other persona slipping away. Hidden underneath skin that's probably buzzing. Itching to be torn off. The wolf begging to be let free.
"You have nothing to apologize for." Stiles shakes his head.
"I startled you." Derek blushes, turning away from the teenager again.
"That's beside the point." Stiles shakes his head.
"I was different after what happened." Derek says in lieu of accepting Stiles' forgiveness. "Not just mentally, but physically too."
"It wasn't your fault." Stiles tells him. "You were tricked. She just wanted you to help her through the end. She didn't blame you."
"Did you ever wonder why my eyes were blue rather than gold, like Scott's?" Derek ignores him once more.
"I just figured they were a Hale thing." Stiles shrugs. "Peter has them."
"That's because Peter's a murderer." Derek says.
"So they turn blue when you-"
"Kill an innocent." Derek nods. He's stoic again. Showing no emotion what-so-ever. Stiles wants him to stop the act. But he isn't going to ask that of him.
"That doesn't make sense. You were only doing what Paige wanted." Stiles shook his head.
"I deserved them, Stiles. I deserved the reminder that it was my fault." Derek tells him fiercely. He's looking him dead in the eyes now. Hoping he will get the point. "My eyes were different. And so was I."
And Stiles knows what happens next. Or at least the basics. At some point after Paige, he fell for Kate. Fell for her lies and schemes. Derek must hate himself so much for what she did.
But that wasn't his fault either. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know who Kate was or what she planned to do. She was rouge and so was her dad -Gerard- and no one could stop the inevitable.
Derek tells him Peter was the only one who knew the whole story until his mom found him. His mom made the situation better. Told him that just because his eyes were different, didn't make them any less beautiful.
"I was in a bad place after her death. I rebelled against my parents and spent most of my time away from home. Then I met Kate. And she was everything I needed at the time. And because I was so young, I was so easily manipulated." Derek spills. "It started out as just something simple. And then I fell for her even though she treated me like shit. I didn't tell anyone that I was seeing her and if I had, it probably could have prevented everything."
And Derek still blamed himself for the fire. Stiles hated that. But he understood. He understood because he still felt like his mom's death was his responsibility. He wanted to laugh at the sheer similarity of it all.
Stiles decides not to ask Derek any more about Kate. At least not that night. Derek opened up enough. He told him all about Paige. And that was some pretty heavy stuff. Not to mention that he also delved into an explanation of his second love. And Stiles knew that Derek fell for her because she was the only one there.
"So the red eyes..."
"Alpha status." Derek says. "But I think you already knew that."
"Can I... see it again?" Stiles asks.
"What?" He asks, frozen in his place.
"Your wolf form. I've never really seen it up close." Stiles answers, stepping closer to Derek. Still cautious.
Derek doesn't answer him for a while. Stiles thinks that he's too sheltered to ever show someone something like that. Derek doesn't like vulnerability and that's exactly what this is. He's uncovered something from his past and he shouldn't have to uncover more of himself.
But Stiles wants this. Wants Derek to trust him enough to do this. So he doesn't push him. He waits patiently and lets Derek think through the consequences. When Derek finally makes eye contact with him, he nods.
Stiles has never seen someone shift like Derek does. He's never watched intently as someone is doing it. Most of the time it's Scott who he's watching and Scott does it so quickly in the heat of the moment. Stiles doesn't know how he feels about watching Derek like this.
It looks like Derek's insides are breaking and reforming underneath his skin. It's all just in his face mostly. It looks incredibly painful but Stiles isn't going to let Derek know that he sees his pain. It would derive him from the task at hand.
Derek's eyes suddenly shine alpha red and then they flash back to the normal almost green color. His ears are pointy -like an elf- and he has canines pricking out of his mouth. Stiles looks at his hands and notices that he'd missed the transformation from nails to claws.
Derek looks like Derek. Just with all the wolf-like qualities added to his features. Stiles is utterly fascinated by it all. He knows what Derek thinks of himself. He thinks of who he is, whether he's human or wolf, as a monster. Stiles thinks anything but.
He steps into Derek's personal space and lifts his hand to Derek's face. He gently strokes Derek's much hairier cheek and he leans into the touch. He momentarily notices the absence of his eyebrows, but saves the question as to where they go for a later date.
He's then distracted by the fact that the second he touched Derek, his eyes glowed that fluorescent shade of red. And Stiles has minutes to wonder why. Why they glowed in his presence? What did it mean? But he wouldn't ask. The moment would be ruined.
"You're breathtaking." Stiles sighs. He breathes onto Derek's face. And for some reason, he doesn't stiffen at the compliment. Stiles doesn't know how else to describe Derek at this point.
Well, there's endless words Stiles could use. Beautiful. Exquisite. Alluring. But his mouth didn't seem to be working. He was a little proud of himself for being so speechless when he could probably talk someone's ear off for just about anything.
Derek looks down, suddenly embarrassed. Blushing, even. Stiles can't help but grin. He never thought seeing Derek Hale blush would make him so happy. He hated the fact that Derek couldn't get past the fact that behind the shield he held up so high, he was actually an interesting and attractive specimen.
"Don't say things like that." Derek whispers.
Stiles shakes his head and leans in to place a chaste kiss on the wolf's lips. He wants to chastise Derek for being so cruel to himself. But he'd rather just show his appreciation through something Derek is more willing to understand, since he's not one for words.
When he opens his eyes and looks at Derek, he's normal again. The hair, teeth, claws, everything is gone. And Stiles feels his heart drop and his tongue catch in his throat.
He's seen this happen before. Years ago, when Scott was just beginning to understand all of this, he saw it. Allison and him kissing. She tamed the beast inside of him. She became his anchor.
Stiles feels like he can't breathe. But he knows that he is actually breathing, albeit much faster than normal. Derek's anchor has always been his anger. Stiles knows that from Isaac. But... what if he was changing?
Stiles knew this was the part where they needed to stop. They needed to end this whole thing because it would not end well for him. Stiles was falling for Derek without knowing how the alpha felt for him. And he knew one thing for sure.
Friends didn't act like this. Friends didn't do this - this being whatever they were doing. Sleeping together. Caring for each other. It was just supposed to be simple. But this whole thing -Derek- got under his skin and he couldn't take more of it.
But he also wasn't keen on letting it go. He wanted to ask Derek what they were doing. Why this felt right and wrong at the same time. They were more. They had to be. He just didn't see how this could end without one of them or both of them hurting each other.
He takes a step back from Derek and removes his hands so they are resting at his own sides. Derek is confused but doesn't question Stiles' sudden need for distance.
"I should go." Stiles finally voices. "It's a school night. Scott will probably want to check up on me. Cora and Isaac probably want to come home soon."
"I'm not keeping you here, Stiles." Derek tells him pointedly.
And he knows that. But he wishes Derek would beg him to stay. Ask him to stay a little longer so they can figure this all out. Because if they got their shit together, they could end up being something special. Stiles feels it. But he won't say it.
It's all so ironic. The fact that he knows too many words to count but he can't say a single one. He thinks the universe may be punishing him just because he's a Stilinski and Stilinski's can't have nice things.
"Okay." Stiles nods at him. Because Derek isn't keeping him there. He has to leave.
And he does.
The next few days dwindle by in loneliness. Stiles half expects Derek to show up at his window but he never does. He knows they left each other in an awkward position. Stiles doesn't even know how to fix it.
He ends up going to school and then lacrosse practice and then home for the next week without word from Derek. He wants to call him but realizes too late that they'd never exchanged phone numbers. So that was out of question.
Scott was coming over more than usual. Which wasn't exactly odd considering their friendship status but was odd because lately he'd been hanging around Allison a lot. Stiles kind of missed it. Just sitting down with his best friend to play video games and eat junk food. He used to live for those days back when his life wasn't so complicated. He hated how complicated Derek had made it. And he hated trying to figure out what to do and what was too much. He just wanted to be with Derek but that wasn't an option.
When his dad comes home sometimes, he doesn't question Stiles' mood but he knows he's in one. That's just something unspoken between the two of them. Normally his dad won't ask unless his behavior becomes an excessive thing. Which it doesn't really, it will probably pass by in a few days.
It all kind of feels like before his mom died. Scott came over a lot then, too. His dad and him never talked about how they were doing because they just knew. He felt like his life was running on a track that was incredibly slower than before. And he just wanted to get out of Beacon Hills.
So when Scott tells him that his pack is dealing with some rouge out of town pack, Stiles volunteers to go. He's bored and Derek's not there to tell him it's a bad idea so he goes. He hops into his jeep with his baseball bat in hand and picks Lydia and Jackson up to meet Scott and Allison at the set location.
Scott's a pretty peaceful guy and doesn't like to see fighting as an option. The other pack seems to not like talking as an option. It's not a surprise to Stiles when the one werewolf pacing in the back of the group pounces first. Hell breaks loose from there.
He comes out of that fight worse for wear. The rogue pack isn't dead, Scott's honor is still intact. The rouge pack's alpha gets everyone under control and apologizes to Scott. They leave immediately and promise they won't come back unless necessary.
Stiles is pissed when Scott acts kindly towards them and tells them that they'll form an alliance. Stiles is bleeding out on the upholstery of his jeep -well, bleeding out is exaggerating a bit- as Scott continues to talk his way through the rest of the deal.
"You going to be okay, man?" Scott asks him through his rolled down window.
"Yeah." He winces. "Just like always."
And that's the end of that.
He drives home alone this time. Jackson and Scott are already healed by the time they're all ready to leave. Allison and Lydia barely have a scratch on them thanks to their lovers. They're all going out for some well deserved pizza. They invite Stiles but he doesn't want to be the fifth wheel, so he declines.
When he gets home, he thanks whatever God is out there that his dad isn't home. He knows he's got to let his dad in on all the supernatural shit at some point but he doesn't want to burden him. He doesn't want to lose him. Like he lost his mom.
He wants to just crash in his room at that point and when he sees his bed he thinks it's the best idea ever. He's weak and still bleeding so he doesn't want to do anything else. Especially not clean his wounds. He sits down on his bed and winces in pain as he goes down. He just needs a minute.
He almost falls asleep until he's startled back into reality by someone's gigantic hand clamping down onto his shoulder and he jumps.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Derek asks. His eyes are glowing in the empty darkness of the room and Stiles has to look away. It's that angry, icy stare that Derek has perfected at giving him.
"I'm not... exactly sure what you are referring to. I do a lot of stupid shit." Stiles says sarcastically. Why would Derek care? It's not like he's cared for the past couple days.
"You're an idiot." Derek says, exiting the room abruptly. Stiles only has a second to wonder where he's gone when he comes back with the first aid kit from the bathroom.
He opens the container filled with medical goodies and pulls out rubbing alcohol and cotton balls. Stiles doesn't know what he's doing with the supplies until it feels like his arm is being stung.
And then he gets it. Derek is patching him up. He's cleaning the wounds before sticking bandages on them. It's a pretty domestic thing to do and Stiles both loves it and dreads it all the same.
"Why did I find out from Isaac that you and Scott decided to handle a rogue pack of werewolves without my help?" Derek growls through his teeth.
"Because technically I'm still in Scott's pack as far as he knows and it was just a pack thing. I didn't know I had to ask you for permission." He counters. He's angry now. Derek has no right acting like a babysitter for him.
"Look at you!" Derek argues. "You look like you got into a fight with someone twice your size."
"It's not exactly untrue." Stiles tells him. "But I can protect myself."
"Stiles, seeing people I care about hurt, is something I've had enough of for probably the rest of my life." Derek tells him and for a minute it sounds like he's desperate to get it through Stiles' head.
"Fine, I did something dumb." Stiles cringes when Derek applies a lot of alcohol to the big slash on his stomach where one of his favorite shirts -a batman graphic- is now torn.
"I'm going to have to stitch that up." Derek tells him. He's shaking his leather jacket off before Stiles even has time to protest.
"Have you done that before?" Stiles asks, eyes wide. He should go to the hospital. To Melissa. Derek shoves him down so he's laying on his back. He doesn't like it.
"A few times." Derek nods, digging through the first aid box for string and a needle. He's successful in his search and gets the string ready and loops a needle through it. He tears open Stiles' shirt, ruining it from ever being worn again, and gets to work.
"I hate my life." Stiles groans. As Derek prods at him with the needle, he reaches out and clamps on to Derek's free hand. Being punctured like this kind of feels like he's being stabbed by tiny knives.
He starts to relax as Derek quickens the pace. And he realizes once it's all done that he feels sort of... numb. He knows Derek took his pain. There's no other explanation for it.
And while it's all happening he also realizes the feeling he's having for Derek is trust. It hits him like a semi and knocks the air out of his lungs. Derek and him didn't do trust, but here he was trusting the hell out of him to stitch him up and make everything better.
Derek gets up and stuffs everything back into the first aid kit, quickly retreating to go put it back where he found it. Stiles waits for his return and pushes himself into a sitting position at the edge of his bed.
Derek comes back, though he took more time than before. Which is mind-boggling to Stiles. But he doesn't put too much thought into it since he's currently still in a little bit of pain everywhere else.
"Thank you." Stiles settles on, though he wants to say a thousand other things.
"Just don't do it again." Derek shakes his head. He reaches for his leather jacket, which is resting on Stiles desk chair. He's obviously ready to leave. Stiles can't help himself when he suggests otherwise.
"You could stay." Stiles tells him. But he doesn't push. "If you wanted to."
"Your dad-"
"Won't be home until morning." Stiles shrugs.
Derek debates with himself for a while before he finally nods his head. He puts his jacket back down and sits on Stiles bed. Stiles smiles at him and scoots up to sit against his headboard. He pulls Derek toward him and lays a wet kiss on him.
"Not tonight." Derek protests.
And Stiles pouts a little bit then realizes how tired he is. He is still severely wounded and Derek's just being considerate about how he feels. Not taking advantage of him. Like a gentleman. Like a boyfriend.
"Are we okay?" Stiles asks. He needs to know. It was awkward before. He didn't like the awkwardness. He liked being comfortable around Derek. Lately, the wolf-man was the only one he could feel that way around.
"Yeah, Stiles. We're okay." He nods. And that's the end of that.
He suggests watching a movie and they get ten minutes into it before Stiles is out of the game.
He then of course, wakes up alone.
He feels better after that eventually. He gets texts from Derek sometimes so he knows that at some point, the werewolf snatched his phone and added his number in there. He put it in as Derek Hale so of course Stiles has to change it. He settles on Sourwolf.
He goes to school like a normal teenager and it takes everything in him to forget about the night Derek patched him up and took care of him. Another death happens that they can do nothing about. It’s too public for any of them to search the crime scene. Stiles knows this Darach person is moving on to healers now.
“We’re thinking about sparring this weekend.” Scott tells him the day after they found the new victim. He doesn’t know what this means for the pack. Is Scott scared?
“Sparring?” Stiles asks. What good is that going to do for him? His choice weapon is a metal bat. That’s what he brings to a fight. He’s pretty much defenseless without it. And he's still healing from the previous outing with the rogue pack. He won't be able to accomplish anything.
“Yeah we were thinking at the old Hale property. I’ve been talking to Derek and he thinks it would be good for all of us. To get ready.” Scott clues him in. Honestly, it’s not a terrible idea especially to get ready for whatever is happening. That’s something Stiles hates. The not knowing.
“Okay.” He agrees. He has to be there, at least. Just for support. “Sounds like a plan.”
Both packs meet at the Hale house at noon that next Saturday. Derek and he arrive separately even though they had been together a few hours before. Which probably wasn’t a good idea because Stiles was already tired. He could probably just get out of fighting someone by batting his eyelashes at Derek. That sounded like a well thought-out plan.
Scott shows up with Allison on his motorcycle. She has her bow strewn across her back with some arrows of all different kinds. Stiles would never want to mess with an archery goddess like her. Scott though, he just greeted him and Derek with a dopey smile. That’s when Stiles knew that he could never see Scott lasting in a fight unless it was absolutely necessary to defeat his enemy.
Lydia and Jackson show up in Jackson’s Porsche soon after. Jackson looks irritated to be there, as usual. Stiles honestly thinks the only reason Jackson is even in Scott’s pack is so he isn’t an omega. Lydia smiles at him and gives him a look like she knows exactly what he’s been hiding from all of them for the past month and a half. She’s always been way too intuitive.
Cora has Isaac, Boyd, and Erica crammed into her car. It’s not a surprise considering they’re all in Derek’s pack. Well, Isaac’s still on the fence but pretty much all of them associate with Derek. The leather jackets don’t get past Stiles either. He wants to laugh and cringe at the same time because they’re all matching.
Derek avoids him like the plague after that. Stiles isn’t surprised. They’re supposed to be acting like nothing has changed between the two of them. Which is kind of hard when so much has. He really wonders if the packs can tell. Or if they can smell it on them. Derek had to have taught them how to use their noses by now.
He stays on the sidelines with most of the pack while two people fight. They start out with Jackson and Scott. It’s both hilarious and scary to watch the whole thing. Derek tells them to act like they’re in a real fight but not so much that they kill each other. Scott gets his ass kicked for a while because of the knack he has for not hurting others. But once he’s knocked on his ass for the third time, he’s had enough of it.
He goes at Jackson with all he has. In two minutes tops, Scott is winning by a landslide. The amount of blood that is spilling from both the wolves is enough to make Stiles feel like vomiting. He watches for a little longer before having to escape to the woods to find peace in what is currently going on.
He's on the borders of a panic attack. He doesn't want to worry anyone so he tries his best to calm himself before he can't breathe. Even though he already feels like he's gasping for air. This never used to happen like this. He never felt so weak when this was all happening. But now...
He thinks he sits there for at least ten minutes before he’s interrupted from his silent meditation. He needed to talk himself out panicking. Things wouldn’t get this bad where they would need to tear people to shreds. He wouldn’t let it happen. Scary stuff had happened before and they'd dealt with it, even if it was a little gruesome.
“Isaac and Boyd are fighting right now.” Derek tells him.
“I know I should have stuck around for that, gotten some tips or… whatever.” Stiles is hesitant to continue. He doesn’t want to tell Derek that he’s not ready to deal with this. He’s not prepared to die for this cause. He certainly doesn’t want to tell Derek how weak he feels.
“It’s not for everyone.” Derek tells him, choosing to sit on the log Stiles had taken to.
Stiles doesn’t know how he does it. Derek has been through so much more than he has and he is still fighting. Stiles wonders why Derek decided to stay in Beacon Hills. He could have left as soon as he buried Laura. Stiles wants to ask but he doesn’t know if Derek would give him a straight answer. He looks over at the estranged alpha and knows he shouldn’t ask.
Derek has this hard look on his face and Stiles thinks he’s deep in thought. Or maybe he’s just shielding himself, getting himself ready for something he feels like he’s about to be asked. Stiles can’t imagine becoming like that. He’s such a loud and obnoxious person. People would know how he was affected by all this if he just stopped talking.
Because of this, Stiles wonders what Derek was like before the fire. Before everything really. He wonders if Derek was a shy person or if he was loud like Stiles. Did Cora notice the change in him? Would she ever tell him what things were like for them before? He’s afraid to ask Derek.
He gets up, not acknowledging Derek any further and gets back to the group. Scott’s fine. Jackson is still healing up a little. Boyd and Isaac are still in mid battle. It’s obvious Boyd has the upper hand and just needs to make a few more skilled attacks to win. It’s a lot less bloody than Scott and Jackson's fight was. Stiles thinks that’s because Jackson is a cocky asshole.
He watches them, because this time he feels like he can. And then he watches Allison, Cora, and Erica get ready for a two on one match. Scott is confident that Allison will have no problem beating both of the super-humans. Isaac lost to Boyd but they help each other up and start healing as soon as they catch their breaths.
Derek comes up behind him and walks right past him to talk to Boyd who is still pretty happy about winning. Derek doesn’t seem to care about how Boyd is feeling. Stiles thinks he’s telling him ways he can be better. Because there’s nothing less than perfection in Derek’s eyes.
“Stiles.” Lydia greets, sidling up to him with her beautiful strawberry-blonde locks bouncing up and down as she walks. She is still the most gorgeous girl he has ever seen. But he looks at her more as a friend now. He has to, anyway.
“Lydia.” He raises an eyebrow in question. She just smirks at him. Like she has this whole evil plot in mind because she’s at least sixty percent evil. The other forty percent probably is half-and-half with gorgeous and smart.
“I want to go somewhere.” She tells him, eyeing him subtly like she wants something from him. Evil.
“Okay.” He says slowly, drawing out the A in the word, because surely she can’t mean she wants to go somewhere alone with him. Or maybe that’s exactly what she wants.
“Come on.” She sighs. “We need to talk.”
She easily steals him away from everyone and forces him to drive away in his jeep with her in the passenger seat. She kind of scares him so he goes along with whatever she has planned for the two of them. He's kind of grateful she got them out of having to stay to watch anyone else fight.
Sadly, he still feels like the weakest person in both packs. Even weaker than Lydia. Because she's a badass banshee that can totally kick ass. She doesn't need protecting from anyone, even though she gets it from Jackson. That just makes him feel even worse.
Lydia makes him drive to this little diner he hasn't been in since he was a kid. His mom used to take him to that exact diner before she died. It became the reason he didn't venture out to places she used to love. Because she couldn't enjoy them anymore.
Lydia orders them both a plate of fries to share and then just stares at him after the waitress has left. Her glare has always been intimidating from a distance, but up close it's menacing. He has to look away and search for something else to pay attention to because she is scary when she wants something.
"I know what's going on, Stiles." She tells him. She's surprisingly calm about it and he almost hears sympathy in her voice.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lydia.” He says pointedly. He wants her to get the idea that he doesn’t really want to talk about. And she’s making him nervous. How much does she know exactly? Does she know that Derek and him are sleeping together?
“You don’t have to talk about it. I just wanted you to know I’m here if you ever need someone to talk to.”
“I used to be in love with you.” He tells her. They both know, but he just has to say it out loud for once. He needs to say that he’s moved on, at least.
“I know.” She nods, he thinks she's almost smiling at the thought of it. “But that isn’t the case anymore.”
“Do you love Jackson?” Stiles asks.
He wonders if she’s happy. She deserves happiness. If Jackson isn’t giving her all that she needs than he definitely doesn’t deserve her. He’s always believed Lydia deserved so much more than Beacon Hills gave her. He could guarantee that she would be the first to get out of here by the time of graduation. He wanted to get there with her.
She doesn’t talk for a while. He thinks she’s analyzing her answer, to make sure he understands. Maybe he won’t understand what she sees in Jackson. He’s an asshole and that’s all Stiles has ever seen in him. Other than his looks, he doesn’t see what he brings to he and Lydia’s relationship.
“If I tell you yes, I don’t think you’ll understand why.” She finally tells him. Exactly what he was thinking. They always did have some sort of a connection. They were both insanely smart and clever. Stiles never did understand why he wasn’t good enough for her. He always believed he would be perfect for her, no matter how much of opposites they were.
That’s also all she gives him for awhile. Stiles believes she needs to come up with an answer that even she will understand. There food comes and they eat in silence. It’s like the past conversation is still on the borders of being the topic still but Lydia is trying to forget about it. Trying to make Stiles forget about it.
“I know he’s an obnoxious asshole. I know most people think of him that way. When we first started dating, I only dated him because I knew what kind of person he could make me. I was okay with changing who I was to be with someone like that.” She begins. “Then when we got into the supernatural world and he became the kanima, things changed. We did break up but that’s because he thought all he needed in the world was power.”
“Like Derek.” Stiles mumbles. She notices his little input. She bats her eyelashes knowingly.
“I don’t know when we both realized that we depended on each other in a way that most people don’t. I don’t think the way we love each other is normal, I don’t think it ever will be. But I’m okay with that. Not every relationship is perfect. And by the time I realized that, I came to terms with us.” She says softly. “I don’t know if I’ll be with him for the rest of my life, but for right now I like where I’m at. You don’t have to understand it.”
“I think I do.” Stiles admits. “I just hope he makes you happy. I hope anyone in your future makes you happy.”
“Stiles,” She purses her lips and smiles. “I know you loved me. God knows why, but you did. And I needed the attention you gave me even if you felt like I was just using you. You gave me a reason to show people who I was. Without you, I think I may have drowned in my problems.”
“It’s ironic, isn’t it?” Stiles laughs, smiling back at her. “I’ve waited years to hear something like that from you and now… I’m just really glad you’re my friend.”
“Me too.” She says gently. He thinks he loves her, then. Not in the way he used to but he still feels it. When you love someone, it doesn’t just go away. His love for her will probably always have an effect on him because she was his first. But he’s happy he figured out what he really wanted before something changed their entire relationship.
He’s happy in that moment, until he remembers life outside this little bubble of relief Lydia has provided. He physically feels the color drain from his face, but he tries to put a fake smile on when she continues to talk to him. He’s not really in on the conversation at this point.
She notices. Of course she does and he shouldn’t expect anything less. Lydia Martin, Queen of Deduction. She doesn’t say anything at first. He thinks she’d rather he start the conversation this time. Which is why he’s grateful for her because he doesn’t know how to tell someone he used to worship so much that he feels so weak.
“There’s something else, isn’t there.” She sighs. There’s always something else. unspoken words between the two of them. Between their whole rag-tag team of misfit supernaturals. And because she knows him, she knows what it’s all about. “It’s the fighting today. Something really hit a soft spot there.”
He looks down and clasps his hands together on the table in front of them. He can feel himself start to sweat. She’s not threatening him to talk and he’s happy about that but he can tell she’s waiting. She wants to help but he doesn’t know how anyone could help him be stronger.
"When my mom died, I saw how real death was." He looks up at her. She's paying so much attention to him and he hates to be under her watchful gaze. She'll see right through the cracks. "And for a while there I was numb to it. I thought, nothing could be worse than losing my mom. But as we keep getting deeper into this... I don't think I can do it anymore."
"What, be in the pack?"
"I guess that's part of it." Stiles nods. "It's getting so hard to see all this death and blood. I don't want to lose anyone else I care about, or be around to see it happen. What if I'm part of someone's downfall? What if my dad-"
"You can't think like that." Lydia interrupts. "Not right now, at least. You can leave. We all know not everyone is going to stick around for college. I've got a full ride to MIT."
"Really?" Stiles asks, though he's really not surprised. She probably even got early admittance. She is the smartest person he knows. She already made her plan to get out of this town, unlike him.
"If you want to leave, there's nothing stopping you." She tells him. Though they both know that's not true. His dad is stopping him. Scott is definitely stopping him. He can't give up on his best friend. And most of all, even if he doesn't know he's doing it, Derek's stopping him.
"It's not just wanting to leave." Stiles says. The reason he was so freaked out before was because he would probably be the reason they got themselves all killed. They would protect him because he's the weakest link. "I'm not strong enough. I'm not fast enough. I don't have powers. Im useless Lydia. And I will be their downfall."
"You think I have all of this figured out? I'm still coming to terms with being a banshee." She says it quietly, like she still can't believe it. Like it hurts to say. "I'm not strong."
"You're one of the strongest people I know." Stiles laughs in disbelief. "I wanted to stay out of everything when they were going to get themselves killed with Gerard. But you begged me to take you to them, so you could help. I was the one who wanted to give up. Who wanted you safe. You got right in the middle of the battle, Lyds. And you didn't even know if it would work."
"You're like that too, Stiles." She shakes her head, taking his hand from across the table. And there's no spark. Nothing. He doesn't feel that way anymore. But he listens to her because she gives him such a serious look. She cares so deeply for him even if he doesn't want to believe it. "If you need help, ask for it."
She pays their bill after that and he takes her home because neither of them want to go back to the Hale property. The place that still gave Stiles nightmares. Maybe even Lydia when she brought Peter back from the dead. He drives home and thinks about what they talked about at the diner.
Her words ring in his head like tiny bells. They are telling him what to do. Ask for help. It's as simple as that but easier said than done. He's not one to ask for help because he survived on his own for the longest time. Without Derek and Lydia and everyone else.
He sleeps on it. He already knows the best way to deal with this but he needs to figure out his approach. There's no saying how it will go. He knows asking someone for help would be pointless. They could turn him down. Or worse, tell him he didn't need to fight. That his skills were unwanted.
He'd figure it out though. Lydia would help him figure it out.
He decides to go to Derek's in the morning. His dad still isn't back from his shift and he feels so lonely in the house. He puts on some sweats and a t-shirt that’s probably a little more unclean than the rest in his room. Derek can see him when he’s at his worst, he doesn’t have to like it.
He fills up the tank of gas in the jeep before he heads over there. While he’s at the gas station he heads inside and grabs a couple bottles of water and a granola bar. He feels like he should get as much energy in him as he can.
Which is what brings him to going to this little coffee shop that’s only a few minutes away from Derek’s. As to not be rude, he buys Derek a coffee as well. Just black because he’s sure that’s how the alpha drinks it. He needs to add about ten packets of sugar to his before he’s able to drink it. He hates the bitter taste but it does wonders to wake him up. He kind of feels bad that Derek will have to deal with him with coffee in his system.
He doesn’t even knock when he gets to Derek’s. The door is already open like the company was expected. Derek’s chilling on his rugged couch and he’s halfway through one of the books Stiles told him to read. He knows Stiles is there but doesn’t close the book till he finishes the page.
“I brought coffee.” He smiles, handing Derek the scalding cup.
“Thanks.” Derek says, taking the cup graciously while Stiles takes a seat next to him. He kisses him on the cheek since his lips are occupied by the cup of coffee he’s currently taking a sip of.
Stiles picks up the book that Derek had set down. Fahrenheit 451. He always liked that one. He’s a little surprised Derek listened to his suggestions. Well, he had seemed interested when Stiles was giving him a detailed summary of the entire novel one night when he wasn’t sure what to say. He always tended to babble about nonsense after sex anyway.
“Are you alright?” Derek asks, wrapping an arm around Stiles’ shoulder, pulling him closer.
“Of course.” Stiles nods. It’s a lie but he doesn’t really want to talk about it yet. And he knows that Derek knows it’s a lie because of the skip in his heartbeat. But Derek’s the kind of guy that doesn’t press about these things.
“I’m sorry about yesterday. Was it too much to ask you to be there?” Derek asks, nuzzling Stiles’ neck. Scenting him.
“No.” Stiles says. It’s half true. He should have known that he wouldn’t have been able to handle it.
They're quiet for a while and Stiles can’t stand the calmness of everything. People are dying. People he cares about could die and he wants to protect them. He wants to protect his dad from all of this. Even though protecting him from the supernatural world could result in worse things than death.
“Teach me how to fight.” Stiles demands.
“Stiles, you’re still healing.” Derek argues. “You could bust your stitches.”
“Please Derek.” The desperation in his voice is enough to make Derek nod in agreement. Derek moves some of the furniture out of the way so they have enough room to practice. He watches Derek slip out of his henley and change into some sweatpants like Stiles.
Stiles chooses to keep his clothes on. He still doesn’t like the way he looks when Derek’s eyes are on him. There’s also that added bonus of the new scars on his chest. He looks disgustingly human and Derek’s perfect physique kind of terrifies him.
Derek approaches him and stands close enough that he can feel his breath on his face. Stiles isn’t sure what he’s doing but he’s close enough to kiss and Stiles wants to. He really wants to. He gazes into Derek’s eyes and wants him so badly.
And they’re millimeters away from kissing when Derek practically body slams him on the floor and pins him down by both his arms. He’s so out of breath that he almost cringes at the fact that he’s so out of shape. He stares at Derek with wide eyes and Derek just stares back with that one seriously broody expression.
“Don’t let your opponent distract you.” He tells him lowly.
Stiles wants to hit himself in the face because of course that was the first lesson. And fighting with Derek would probably be the worst because he’d probably always get distracted. He had a stupidly attractive face and a perfectly sculpted body. This would not end well.
Derek lets go of him and holds a hand out to help him up. He’s hesitant about taking it at first. It could be one of those tricks were he just slams him back down but Derek looks pretty insistent. He takes Derek’s hand and Derek helps him back up.
He backs up a little and starts talking about the best punching methods. Stiles gets distracted again for a little bit but then realizes how serious this is. Derek goes easy on him until he gets the hang of things.
He breaks into a sweat when Derek makes them practice every thing he taught him. He’s going easy on Stiles by not using his wolf side to make himself more powerful. Stiles feels exhausted already though. And a sweaty Derek makes his mind go to other places.
Lately, they haven’t exactly had time to do anything other than make out. Cora and Isaac are usually around or they’re dealing with more pack stuff. The whole Darach thing is also definitely taking up a lot of time. Stiles is very sexually frustrated and Derek looking like that did not help his cause.
Suddenly he has Derek right where he wants him. Well, he is on the ground being trapped by Derek once again but he’s not complaining. He brings their lips together in a sloppy and very wet kiss. Derek is a little confused but finally gives in to the temptation. Which is exactly what Stiles wants.
He uses all the strength he has left and flips Derek over so he is on top of him, trapping him in the exact position he was in only moments before. Derek is more than a little surprised, but he doesn’t try to fight it.
“Don’t let your opponent distract you.” Stiles smirks, leaning down to lick a stripe across Derek’s stomach and up his chest.
“Stiles.” He whines, bucking his hips up a little. Stiles can see that Derek is struggling to stay in control of himself. He knows that he’s more than a little interested at this point. Stiles grin grows wider.
“I want to try something new.” Stiles tells him, sucking one of Derek’s nipples into his mouth.
“We shouldn’t do this here. Cora and Isaac-“
“It’s more exciting this way.” Stiles shakes his head bringing Derek’s head towards him so he can kiss him. “Let me ride you.”
“Stiles.” He groans. They should be practicing more. Fighting didn’t just come to you, you had to learn. But Stiles needed this. He needed the break.
He peels off his t-shirt that is sticking to his skin from the sweat. He tosses it aside and starts mouthing at Derek’s neck. Derek obviously doesn’t know what to do. Stiles thinks he’s still in shock.
His muscles start functioning again eventually and he rubs his hands all over Stiles body. He likes Stiles’ lips the most and Stiles doesn’t mind when Derek gets distracted with kissing him when there are more pressing issues to be dealt with.
And Derek knows he’s impatient so he shoves Stiles off of him and goes to the table by the couch a pulls out a condom and lube. Derek is obviously prepared for anything. Even having sex in his living room. They could do this on the couch but Stiles is content with his position on the floor.
Derek sets their utensils to the side and strips the rest of his clothes, encouraging Stiles to do the same. Because Stiles is in the mood for it, he quickly does as asked without any regrets. He’s a little bit more comfortable with Derek eyeing him down like he is in that moment.
Stiles claims his rightful position on top of Derek and lets the alpha work him open. He uses a lot more lube than usual but Stiles isn’t complaining. Derek’s fingers feel easy going inside him and it feels even better when he crooks them so they hit his sweet spot.
“Auh.” Stiles whines. He wants Derek inside him so bad. Derek knows the signs by now and quickly takes his fingers out of Stiles. He puts the condom on effortlessly and lets Stiles take control from there.
“You sure you want to do this?” Derek asks.
“Yes.” Stiles nods, kissing Derek before guiding himself so he was sitting firmly on Derek’s cock.
It felt unusual but not a bad unusual. He wasn’t sure how to start. Well, he did. He watched enough porn to know what happens next but he just couldn’t get himself to move. He felt a little in shock and Derek knew it too.
Derek took his hands and guided them so Stiles was holding him down. Stiles gulped. Afraid that he would mess this up. Derek was the one who dominated over him, always. The fact that Derek was submitting to him was a really new thing.
The first thing he did was pick up his hips and lift himself off of Derek’s dick. Immediately he sank back down in a slow manner. It burned, but in a good way. He got the hang of it after a while and Derek didn’t even interrupt him from figuring it out.
The whole experience was really new and Stiles enjoyed it. He liked being in control. Even better, he liked Derek following him, falling apart for him. It was a change of pace for the both of them and Stiles was excited to try it again.
After they both reached the peaks of their orgasms Stiles pulled off of Derek and collapsed next to him, still out of breath. He started laughing and looked at Derek with a huge grin on his face.
“I so want to do that again.” He said.
“Me too.” Derek agreed and pulled Stiles into an out-of-breath kiss.
So they get into a routine. Stiles comes by Derek's most afternoons right after school to train. He gets a whole lot better at fighting. He's happier. He can actually defend himself a little. And their sessions don't always end in sex, especially when Isaac and Cora are around. But when they do, things get pretty hot.
Derek helps him practice using his baseball bat to a better advantage. Especially against supernatural creatures. Stiles starts feeling stronger after the next couple weeks. And he's healed up nicely since Derek had to stitch him up.
Scott mentions sparring again and Stiles is actually interested in trying out his skills. Derek's obviously hesitant but doesn't try and talk Stiles out of it. The plan is to spar at the Hale house again on Saturday morning. Stiles finds himself being anxious for the day to come.
He wants to get his energy out somehow. He thinks running would be good but the cold November air does not agree with him. He ops for lifting weights during free periods instead. Scott thinks he's been acting weird. He probably has.
He feels weird. He's not sure if it's a good or bad weird yet. He feels really anxious all the time and he's kind of having mood swings. Sometimes he can be really happy but then the happiness turns to anger just as quickly as it came. He hopes that sparring gives him some kind of release for all that energy.
He takes more adderall than he ever has since he found out he had ADHD. He doesn't want to scare his father into thinking he's gotten addicted so he gets himself a new bottle. It wasn't easy getting Melissa to write him a new prescription, especially when he lied and said he lost his bottle. He's pretty sure she didn't believe him, but did it anyway.
It gets to be Friday night quicker than he expected. He goes to Derek's obviously to train one last time before he has to show everyone how good he can fight. That he is a vital member of their team.
Derek actually isn't expecting him. He's in a too tight t-shirt and jeans that shape his ass perfectly. He wants to pounce at him but also remain calm at the same time. He chooses the latter. Derek lets him in regardless of the reason he's there.
"Are we going to fight?" Stiles asks.
"If we train too much you're going to be worn out for tomorrow." Derek sighs.
"Derek, I have way too much energy right now and no amount of adderall is going to save me from it." Stiles says, wide eyes trained on the baseball bat in his hands.
"Okay." Derek nods. He doesn't even go change. He stays in his normal clothes and goes up against Stiles for a few rounds.
Stiles is kicking his ass. He wants to believe Derek isn't going easy on him but he knows he probably is. He's got Derek pinned to the floor for like the third time when the front door is being slid open.
He doesn't expect Isaac and Cora to catch them in the position they're in. So when they do, he doesn't really know what to do with himself. He stays on top of Derek, practically straddling him.
"What are you doing?" Cora asks. She looks kind of weirded out. Like she's catching her sibling in a compromising position.
"Sparring." Derek tells them, pushing Stiles up on his feet and away from him.
"I was winning." Stiles chokes on nothing. Maybe he's choking on all the awkwardness.
"We'll let you get back to that." Isaac says, pulling Cora upstairs with him. Stiles thinks they know. Know about him and Derek being more than just fighting partners.
“We should take a break.” Derek tells him, going to the kitchen for a bottle of water. Stiles follows him. They both down the whole bottle before they even consider talking to each other.
Stiles tells Derek he should probably leave considering the fact that Cora and Isaac are around. Derek tells him he can stay but he politely declines. He thinks Derek would be concerned about him if he told him he still had a ton of energy buzzy inside him and needed to release more steam.
He leaves Derek’s and parks the jeep at home before going on a run through the woods. He knows it’s probably a bad idea, especially so late at night but he feels like he’s ready to explode because he can’t relax. He stays out for almost two hours before realizing he’s a little lost. And it’s freezing out and he’s only in sweatpants and a thin t-shirt. He suddenly hates his life.
He calls Scott to come find him and eventually ends up spending the night at the McCall’s. Scott looks at him like he’s an alien. He’s been looking at him like that for a couple weeks. Stiles can tell that he wants to be blunt and ask what’s going on with him but that’s just not a Scott thing to do.
Scott doesn’t ask him any questions but Stiles repeatedly tells him he’s fine. He just needed to go for a run. It should have helped. But it did nothing for him. He was starting to worry himself because he had no idea what was going on. He willed himself to sleep and eventually he did.
He wakes up on Scott’s floor with an extremely bad migraine. He rubs at his temples before sitting up and looking around the room. Scott needs to clean his room desperately. It smells and looks like the boy's locker room. He doesn’t understand how he even gets Allison to enter past the threshold of the door.
He gets up off the ground and smacks Scott awake with a pillow. Scott’s not even startled, he just smacks Stiles back and cuddles further under the blankets. Stiles has a deep envy for him in that moment. He’s still so tired and the new pounding in his head isn’t helping at all.
He decides to jump in the shower in Scott’s in-suite bathroom. It’s really hot, almost scalding when he gets in. It’s calming though. It’s the calmest he’s felt in days, even with the headache. He’s content for a while until Scott starts pounding on the door telling him not to use up all the hot water.
Since he’s an asshole he uses up the rest of the hot water and lets Scott deal with it. He can consider it payback for all the times Scott talked excessively about him and Allison’s love life. That deserved more than just using up the hot water.
Stiles finds a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that he'd left in Scott's room from weeks prior. It doesn't smell horrible so he puts them on a scours Scott's room for a sweatshirt since it's kind of cold outside. He's unsuccessful in his search but Scott comes out of the bathroom and tells him he can borrow one of his.
Scott's dressed in a t-shirt and shorts. Werewolves are just naturally warm so the impending winter weather on it's way didn't really bother them. But it bothered Stiles. So he used Scott as a personal body warmer by sticking close to him.
They ride to the Hale house in Stiles' jeep and he feels bad about driving because the headache has not gone away. It's kind of taking away all concentration that should be aimed at the road. He thinks Scott is tense because he's tense, but his idiot best friend doesn't say anything because he know Stiles won't talk if he asked.
"What?" Stiles asks, because when he glances over at Scott, he has this weird look on his face.
"What do you mean what?" Scott asks in return. He's trying to play it off as nothing as he looks out the passenger side window. He wants to drop the conversation, senses it'll probably make Stiles mad.
"What's that look on your face?" Stiles asks. When Scott looks over at him Stiles air-traces a few circles around his face, giving him a narrowed look.
"Nothing." Scott says reluctantly. Definitely not what he wanted to say.
"Spit it out." Stiles groans. He's not helping anyone.
"You're just... really pale." Scott finally admits. "It's kind of scaring me."
"I'm fine." Stiles tells him firmly. There's nothing wrong with him. Other than the headache and now the feeling of human combustion, he's totally fine. Okay, that's a total lie but he's not going to admit that.
Scott doesn't press for more. They become silent in the already too quiet vehicle. Stiles' radio is busted, just like every other part of the death machine he's driving. He already hates the silence so much because it leaves Scott to worry about him when he doesn't know how to admit how he's really feeling.
When they pull up to the Hale house, no one's there. It's surprising because Derek's usually the first to arrive anywhere. Especially when the whole pack meets up. He turns the jeep off and follows Scott to the burned shell that is the remaining bit of the Hale house.
"Are you okay, Scott?" Stiles suddenly asks. Because he's been so concerned about himself that he hasn't even asked his best friend. And Scott has shown behavior that doesn't depict him as alright.
"I guess." Scott nods, not looking at him. They go to the front porch of the house and just sit in silence. He waits for Scott to continue, even if it's likely he won't.
"I don't know how you deal with it." Stiles suddenly laughs. He's laughing because where they are is so unbelievable to him. He never thought he'd be part of a pack of supernatural creatures, sitting on the front steps of a house that held so many memories and bad dreams.
"I'm an alpha." Scott shrugs. There's the unspoken I have to deal with it. And Stiles feels like all the burdens on his shoulders are nothing compared to Scott's. If he loses someone, if someone dies, it's on him. He'll feel that loss.
"I want to go back sometimes." Stiles tells him, looking over to Scott to see that he's staring back at him. "This is all my fault."
"No it's not." Scott narrows his eyebrows together like he's confused as to why Stiles would say such a thing. But it's true. Even if Scott won't believe it. He's thought about it countless times before.
"I dragged you into this mess. If it wasn't for me and my stupid obsession with criminology-"
"Hey," Scott stops him, laying a hand on his shoulder. He squeezes it. Letting Stiles know he's serious. "I was as much of a part of it as you were. It's not even about fault anymore, Stiles."
"I wish I could believe that." Stiles sighs, clapping a hand on Scott's knee. "But it's so much more complicated these days."
"I know." Scott nods in agreement. "But we'll get through it. We always do."
And because Scott says it, he wants to will himself to believe it. Because this far, they have survived. But sometimes he doesn't know how and that scares him. Everything scares him these days. He just wants a quick fix. And yeah, they have gotten through things, but they're all different people now because of those things.
He's not the same Stiles he was when this all started. He was dorky and spastic and clumsy. He can't even seem to remember that part of himself. He's changed so much. Everyone has. Especially the ones who aren't even human anymore. And that's one thing he knows is his constant.
He's human.
Derek shows up shortly after Scott and Stiles' heart-to-heart. He finds them still sitting on the steps of his old home. They don't speak, just acknowledge each other in small head tilts. Derek's language.
Derek heads inside for unknown reasons and Scott leaves him to see Allison who is slowly approaching in her car. That leaves Stiles alone again, so he goes inside to see Derek. They hadn't talked since he left the loft last night and things were a little awkward then.
He finds Derek sitting on a charred couch that's surprisingly still standing even with Derek's weight on it. He approaches him slowly and waits to see if Derek would start talking first. But Derek just sits and he just watches and it feels like they're playing a goddamn game. Stiles is sick of it.
"It's not a good day." Derek tells him. It sounds like a fuck you to everything. Which is why it resonates with Stiles. Because lately, every day has not been a good one.
He wants to know the story. Why it's not a good day for Derek. He knows it's not the date of the fire. It's not the date of Laura's death. No anniversaries as far as he's concerned. But Derek just looks like shit and he feels bad about it. Because he cares.
"I scared Isaac and Cora this morning." Derek tells him. "I pulled a gun out on them. I don't even know where the gun came from. But it felt like it wasn't real. I was so scared. It didn't feel like a dream."
"It's okay." Stiles tells him, walking closer to him. Crouching into a squat so Derek will look at him rather than the floor. "This is real."
Derek nods. Takes Stiles hand and just strokes it with his thumb. He gives him a little reassuring smile. He knows it's real. He knows Stiles is real. Stiles is suddenly happy in that moment. And he feels something he can't describe.
He has to look away from Derek because if he didn't, he would say something he would regret. This thing between them wasn't meant to be more than just a thing. The indescribable feelings had to stop.
He wants to walk away. Forget the conversation with Derek even happened. But Derek looks so relieved that he's there, so he doesn't move. He lets Derek scoot forward and kiss him sweetly. Not too intense. It's like a promise, when he knows it's not.
"You look really pale." Derek mentions, their faces way too close for comfort. But Stiles doesn't move away, and neither does Derek.
"I feel like shit." Stiles admits. He doesn't know why, it just comes out of his mouth. He couldn't even tell Scott.
"Maybe you should sit this one out." Derek suggests. But he doesn't press too much about. He's trying to give Stiles an option and that makes him smile.
"I'll be okay. I want to do this." Stiles tells him.
So they go outside together. Nobody pays attention to them. The pack is all busy talking to each other or canoodling with each other. Stiles wishes he could canoodle with Derek. And that scares him a little because canoodle should not even be a word in his head. He shakes it off.
Scott and Isaac go against each other first. Stiles kind of wants to fight Jackson now. He's the only person he doesn't feel bad about beating to a pulp. So he eyes Jackson the whole time, watching him get ready to fight.
Derek comes up behind him and just stands there. He wants to say something. Like maybe taking on someone who doesn't care that you're human is a bad idea. Well everyone could deal with it, Stiles wanted to kick some ass.
He's not letting it show but the headache he woke up with has gotten worse. He tries to calm down but he's clenching his fists together and nothing is helping. There's suddenly a hand at his lower back and it feels like the pain is being seeped out of him.
He looks back to see Derek staring ahead at the fight going on. Like nothing is happening between the two of them. Derek is taking his pain away so casually that no one else even notices what is going on.
"How'd you know?" Stiles whispers. About the pain.
"I can smell your pain." He mutters back.
"Oh." Stiles nods. He feels slightly better but then Derek removes his hand and the pain comes shooting back. He ignores it and grabs his bat.
Scott has just defeated Isaac. Defeated isn't really the best word for it. Scott and Isaac fight like puppies. That's literally the best way to describe it. The fight was nothing like Scott's past match with Jackson.
He goes into the open area they've now designated for sparring. He calls Jackson over and the guy looks so friggin cocky. Like there is no way Stiles can take him in any fight. Little does he know that Stiles has been practicing.
Derek tells Jackson to take it easy on Stiles because it is just a friendly match. Stiles thinks Jackson's definition of friendly will be a lot different than Scott's. Jackson looks ready to destroy him yet, Stiles actually isn't that terrified of him. A few weeks ago maybe, but not now.
Jackson thinks he has the upper hand when he knocks Stiles down first. Stiles doesn't even have to swing at him. The wolf is definitely playing dirty. But Stiles won't let it affect him. He'll win, fair and square.
He picks himself off the ground a clenches onto his bat tighter. Jackson comes at him again but he ducks from the punch and gets behind him. He hits him in the back with the butt of bat. Jackson doesn't go to the ground but it knocks the air out of him a little.
He's angry, Stiles can see that. He's making him look bad and Jackson can't have that. Not in front of Lydia. Not even his alpha, Scott. He goes back at Stiles and rips the bat from his grasps. Stiles is prepared for something like this to happen.
Jackson has his claws out at first but Derek shouts at him to put them away. They fight like humans. It's a little like a boxing match at first. They're just punching and blocking each other. Stiles feels like this is the exact outlet he's been needing.
He gets his bat back while Jackson's distracted and he whacks him in the leg. Jackson tumbles to the ground and growls at Stiles, suddenly wolfing out. Stiles can't help but smirk. He pins Jackson to the ground by his bat and Jackson just stays their, completely out of breath.
He's backing away when his headache suddenly comes back to him. The wind is knocked out of him and he's gripping onto a tree to keep himself upright. His vision gets blurry and his hearing starts going in and out. He can hear someone shouting his name.
His legs give out and he's on his hands and knees in seconds. He can't breathe. He's not panicking. Something is just happening to him and he doesn't know how to control himself. He thinks he sees Scott running towards him.
His arms give out quicker than he expected them to and he falls onto his side. He thinks he blacks out. But there's these images in front of his eyelids. Flashing through his brain like a distant memory. He's scared, wants to scream, but doesn't know how.
Then, everything darkens and he sees no more. But he comes to in the veterinarian clinic. Deaton is at his side, ruffling through some drawers. Stiles hopes that he's not trying to drug him. He already feels incredibly woozy. But no more headache, so that's a plus.
"Nice to see you conscious, Stiles."
"Where are the others?" Stiles asks, looking around the room. It's just him and Deaton. He's not exactly comfortable being alone with the guy.
"I told them you could use some space. Plus, I would like to talk to you and I wasn't sure if you'd like everyone to hear what I have to say." Deaton explained.
“Am I dying?” He asks, eyes widening. “Oh god, I’m dying.”
“You are not dying.” Deaton rolls his eyes. “I just have a couple questions.”
“About what?” Relief both floods through his body and his mind. But he stiffens up a few seconds later when he realizes that Deaton wants information from him.
“I just want to try and understand what happened to you, if you’ve been experiencing strange symptoms.” Deaton explains.
“Uh… well I’ve had a lot of energy the past couple of weeks.” Stiles scratches at his head and leans forward a little. He still sits, perched on the examination table and he kind of feels like he’s being interrogated with the bright light above him.
“Has it been constant?” He asks. Deaton’s grabbing a notebook and pencil and jotting these things down. Almost like Stiles is one of his patients. He doesn’t like it and he doesn’t like where the conversation is going.
He looks at Deaton, patiently waiting for his answer. So he doesn’t answer. He turns away, sits there, and just tries to figure out why Deaton wants to know. He feels like he should be talking to a real doctor about this, a human one. Not a veterinarian.
He finally ends up answering Deaton. He tells him almost everything because once he starts, it feels too good to stop. He’s been bottling all this up and he’s been so afraid to tell someone. He doesn’t tell Deaton about how it gets more intense when he’s with Derek. Because nobody knows about their relationship except Danny and now, obviously Lydia’s been clued in.
Deaton nods along while Stiles tells him that the energy hadn’t gone away till that morning. That morning he’d actually felt extremely tired and almost calm for a while. It was a nice break from the usual routine of not being able to sleep through the night.
“Any other weird symptoms you’ve been having?” Deaton asks.
“I had a headache this morning.” Stiles shrugged.
“I figured you might.” Deaton nods and Stiles hates that he’s being cryptic when it’s his life they're talking about.
He wants to ask what he means by that but doesn’t. Deaton still kind of creeps him out and if it wasn’t for all the help he’d been giving them, he’d kind of suspect that he was behind the recent killings. What did they really know about the so called vet?
Deaton eyes him curiously and he starts to curl into himself. He hunches his shoulders and looks at the floor. Deaton thinks he has him all figured out, but he doesn’t. Stiles could be a surprise to people who didn’t know all his secrets. Deaton didn’t know everything, no one did.
“What did you see Stiles?” He suddenly asks.
The words go right to his core. Triggering the memory to come back to the front of his brain. He winces visibly and rubs the back of his neck with the palm of his hand. Deaton couldn’t know about that. It just happened before he blacked out. He hadn’t told anyone about it.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He tries to keep his voice steady, not defensive but he fails miserably. Deaton sees right through him, almost like he can hear the blip in his heartbeat.
“I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.” Deaton approaches him and Stiles scoots off the table and away from him.
Something flashes across his eyes and he’s not in the clinic anymore. It’s like he’s inside his vision and he’s just stuck. He can see what’s going on around him but most of it’s blurry. There’s blood and people are dead but they don’t have faces.
Soon enough he’s back to himself and Deaton is staring at him expectedly. Stiles backs away and stumbles just a bit. He catches himself on the edge of the counter he’s backed into. Deaton approaches him again until they are face to face.
“I didn’t see anything.” Stiles says calmly.
“Stiles, you’re a remarkable person.” Deaton says. “But denial does not suit you.”
“I’m human. I don’t understand why you think I’m some great-“ He stops himself there because he doesn’t know what Deaton thinks he is. And he firmly believes he’s human. He always will be. It’s his constant.
“Like I said, you’re remarkable.” Deaton nods. “And I wouldn’t exactly call you human.”
“I would, because I am.” He says forcefully. “I am human.”
He storms away, not trusting himself to not do something stupid. He walks out of the clinic and shoves his hand in his pocket to grab the keys to his jeep when he realizes they aren’t there.
“Stiles.”
He whips around quickly to see Derek standing there, looking stupidly attractive with his car keys dangling from his fingers. He snatches them quickly realizing that Derek probably heard what happened back there. He wanted to keep this quiet.
“You heard nothing.” Stiles tells him, turning back to where his jeep was parked, ready to get out of there. The whole day had been completely weird and he just needed space.
“Stiles, we should talk about this.” Derek says quickly grabbing his arm, spinning him back around with his werewolf strength so they are facing each other.
“We’re not talking about anything. There’s nothing to talk about.” Stiles shakes his head, ripping his hand out of Derek’s grasp. The alpha looks a little shocked but doesn’t try to reach out for him again.
“But what Deaton said-“
“Can everybody just stay out of my business!?” Stiles exclaims.
Derek doesn’t respond, the expression on his face almost looks pained as he looks away. Like he expected Stiles to confide in him. Well he had to think again because Stiles was so far from talking to anyone about this. He didn’t care what Deaton said, he was human and that’s how it would stay.
“Stiles.” Derek sighs. It almost sounds like he’s begging him for something. He doesn’t know what that something is but it bugs Stiles a little. It sounds like Derek wants to say more but Stiles is fine if they just left it like that. He thinks maybe everything would be destroyed if he just walked away.
And that’s what he does, destroy things. He still blames himself for his mother’s death. He blames himself for Scott getting turned. He blames everything they’ve gone through on himself because of that one night. They wouldn’t be a part of this world if it wasn’t for his curiosity.
“If you trusted me, you’d let me deal with this on my own.” Stiles tells him.
“You can’t just ignore something like this, Stiles.” Derek argues.
“You of all people should understand why I have to!” He shouts back.
“That’s a low blow.” Derek frowns and looks away. He crosses his arms against his chest and Stiles knows he’s ruining something good that they have. Honestly, he thinks it’s better this way, ending it now before it gets even worse. It was inevitable. The fact that this downfall between them would come.
“It’s not my fault that you blame yourself for every god damn thing that has happened to you, Derek.” He hisses. It is a low blow. And Stiles is being incredibly cruel but he just needs Derek to hate him. He needs everyone to be okay when he leaves, because he will and nothing will be able to hold him back.
“And you think blaming yourself is any better?” Derek asks. And oh, that was unexpected. He didn’t think Derek would come back from that one. Damn him for actually caring. And damn him for trying to make this right between the two of them. “I get that you want to think of yourself as something normal, or at least as normal as you could be because let's face it, you’re insane even without all of this baggage on your plate. But sometimes you have to face reality here, Stiles. If you don’t face the truth now, it could come back to haunt you.”
And Stiles thinks to himself, I don’t have to stand here and listen to this. But he stays because he’s a terrible person and he needs to give into something for once. If not to make himself feel better, to make other people feel better.
“You don’t get to stand here and tell me what to do.” He argues.
“I do if I think you’re being an idiot.” Derek nods.
“Fine. I’ll take that one.” Stiles sighs. “But just so you know, I know I’m not normal and I know that I never will be. But maybe I’d like to have a little ounce of hope for my future. Hope that maybe I can have a normal life. One with a family and a white picket fence. Somewhere far away from here. And I know I’m not the only one who wants to make it out of here. Who wants to have something like that too.”
Derek’s quiet. Stiles thinks he’s stumped him. He’s glad. He doesn’t need Derek to come back at him with more information that could potentially knock him down from where he stands. He thinks now's as good of a time as any to finally walk away. Because he doesn’t think he has anymore fighting left in him.
So he gives Derek one last meaningful look, even though the alpha is looking away like a wolf with his tail hanging between his legs. He walks past Derek but not before he can grab Stiles and not let go. Stiles can’t look back even though it pains him not to.
Derek lets him go. And it feels final. Like whatever they were, is over. He doesn’t look back while he walks to his jeep and gets in. It’s not till he pulls up in the driveway to his house that he realizes he’s crying.
He feels the water drip from his face and he wants to understand why he screws everything good in his life up. He sits in his car until the sadness drifts to anger. Anger mainly at himself and maybe just the world in general. He slams the door to the jeep when he gets out and he drags himself to the front porch.
His dad’s cruiser is in the driveway so he knows he has to put on a good face in front of him. He still hates the fact that he’s hiding everything from him but he doesn’t know what else to do. Especially now. He’s lost and he doesn’t know how to find himself or the right answers.
Stiles ignores the pack for the next couple days. He’s afraid Derek’s confided in Scott about the things Deaton was saying. So during school he sits next to Greenberg instead of his friends and at lunch he eats in his jeep so no one will find him. Danny has taken up his spot in the cafeteria anyway. They don’t need him around.
There’s a knock on his window when he’s eating in his jeep one day and he’s not surprised to see Lydia standing there. She’s expecting him to open the window and he thinks she’s expecting him to talk; something he doesn’t want to do right now.
He rolls his window down, regardless. It’s Lydia Martin. She’d find a way to break in somehow without his consent. Plus, he couldn’t deny Lydia of anything. He still had a deep appreciation for the strawberry blonde. So he sits there while she crosses her arms and though he can’t see her whole body, he’s sure she’s tapping her foot against the cement.
“I don’t want to talk, Lyds.” He says half-heartedly.
“Who said anything about talking?” She asked, going around the front of his car, climbing in through the unlocked passenger side door. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Uh…”
“Come on Stiles. Skipping class for one day won’t kill you.” She rolls her eyes, gracefully putting on her seatbelt.
“Where to?” It stumbles out of his mouth because he’s a little shocked that perfect Lydia Martin would want to miss class at all. Maybe she’s in just as bad of a mood as he is.
“My house first, we have to pick something up.” She tells him and he does what she wishes. He’s not about to argue with her. When she sets her mind to something, she gets her way.
So they drive through her neighborhood and stop at her house. She runs inside quickly and comes back with a bottle of vodka and some fancy champagne that Stiles can’t pronounce the name of. She tells him he can drive wherever he wants to next.
He chooses this spot he and Scott went to after he and Allison broke up the first time. Stiles tried his best to just help Scott get over her by getting drunk but that obviously didn’t happen. There was definitely perks of being human. Like the fact that alcohol actually worked.
The cons of drinking though, were spilling your guts. And Stiles saw right through Lydia’s plan. But in that moment he truly didn’t care. He took the cup she poured him and just sat back against a large rock. Forgetting everything for a while couldn’t hurt.
“What’s it like being a banshee?” Stiles asks her.
“Why are you asking?” She counters, taking a small sip of the drink in her hands. The face she was making was definitely one of deviance. She wanted to get all the information out of him. Well two could play at that game.
“I guess I was just wondering how you’re handling being a supernatural creature when you thought you were just some normal girl.” He shrugs, taking a huge gulp from the drink that tasted mostly of vodka even though it was a mixed drink. It burned as it went down.
“I never thought I was normal.” Lydia chuckled. “Are you kidding me? I preyed on being popular. I have always been in the spot light. I’m not you, if that’s what you’re thinking Stiles.”
“I don’t think I’m normal either.” Stiles says.
“I agree.” She nods.
“So what's it like?" He repeats. Because if anyone can make him feel better about the whole situation without actually knowing what the situation was, it's Lydia.
"It's strange." She shrugs, pausing for a moment to figure out how to really explain it. "I have these voices in my head. Normally, I don't know what to do about it but I know that it means something. And I'm still learning but I think it's better this way. That I know what I am and I can get through it. I'm not afraid of who I really am anymore."
"Sometimes I think I'm a freak." Stiles tells her. He sighs after he's said it. He feels like the craziest person on the face of the earth. He thought werewolves and witches and vampires, all this shit, was just for storybooks. He'd never thought it could all actually be real.
"I used to have a problem with that." Lydia says, reaching out to place a hand on top of his. "Understanding that it's okay to be a little different is what got me through it. I know it's insane sometimes and usually downright impossible, but that's just us, Stiles. We're freaks. It's about time we all start accepting it."
"What if I don't want to, though." Stiles says more like a statement than a question.
"That's up to you then." She shrugs, squeezing his hand then intertwining their fingers.
"How did our lives get like this?"
"Well, I'm a banshee now. So I guess I'm a firm believer in fate and things happening for a reason." She tells him. "I've learned a lot about what I am and about my heritage. Maybe it's time you look into yours."
"Have you been talking to Deaton?" Stiles asks, his heart drops a little. He doesn't want to think this whole thing was just some plan coordinated by Deaton, or Derek.
"Yes." She nods. "He showed me some things. Some powers I have that no one else knows about."
So nothing about him then. Unless she's hiding that little truth from him. But he's surprised she's telling him this. That she's been learning new things about being a banshee. That's a big step.
“He told me that I have a different kind of vision when I want to use it. It helps me see souls.” She reaches out and touches Stiles’ chest. Years ago, this would have been something he wanted. But he felt a little uncomfortable about Lydia looking at something as personal as his soul.
“You’re joking, right?” Stiles asks, and then something incredible happens. There’s a bright light in the palm of Lydia’s hand and it’s so mesmerizing.
“It’s beautiful.” Lydia tells him. “I’ve never seen one so pure.”
“What is that?” He asks, wanting more than anything to reach out and touch it. He felt drawn to it.
“Your soul.” She says simply.
“Oh my god! Put it back!” Stiles shrieks.
“It’s not your actual soul. It’s a physical representation. Amazing right?”
“No, it’s weird and really freaky.”
The flash of light suddenly dissolves and her hand is just her hand again. Stiles is relieved and rests his head against the rock he is leaning on. Lydia eyes him curiously and gets up to sit beside him. They aren’t facing each other anymore so he can’t see what she looks like now.
“So where’d you learn to fight like that?”
He knows she’s referring to the fight with Jackson. The one he’s tried to block out for days because ever since then things have been getting worse for him. He sees that same vision every night. It wakes him up in the middle of the night and he doesn’t know what it means but it terrifies him.
“I had a good teacher.” He shrugs.
He hopes Lydia will let it go. He knows it’s not likely because Lydia loves getting into other people’s business. That’s exactly what he doesn’t need. What he needs is someone to just talk to him like every thing is totally okay and people aren’t dying.
“You know, whatever you’re upset about this time, It’s putting the whole pack in a bad mood.” She tells him, probably to make him feel guilty. It works because Stiles knows he’s a terrible person. But he wants her to stop talking because if she doesn’t he’ll probably ruin this friendship too. “Scott thinks it’s Jackson’s fault, like he did something to you. But really we all know Scott thinks it’s his fault.”
“It’s nobody’s fault, Lydia.” Stiles sighs, he rubs his face with his hands and then looks at her. She stares intently at him, looking for answers in his tired face.
“Why don’t you talk to us anymore?”
“It’s not your problem.” Stiles says. “It’s not your problem I can’t sleep at night or the fact that I still feel scared. I’m more terrified than ever that something really bad is going to happen.”
She doesn’t say anything at first. He can tell she’s holding something in. He doesn’t know if he wants to hear what she has to say. Part of him thinks that maybe she feels it too. The other part of him thinks she may tell him to suck it up, they’re all hurting.
“I’m a harbinger of death. And I’ve never felt something so powerful before. So I think I know why you’re scared Stiles. I am too.” She tells him, he sees that the grip on her plastic cup has tightened, it almost looks like she may crush it.
He thinks he knows what she means. That he’s not the only one who doesn’t want to be involved. But who she is makes her attracted to death. She’s a key component in figuring all of this out. And maybe she’s trying to convince him that they need him just as much as they need her.
“I don’t want to scare you even more Stiles but for some reason I’ve been hearing something I usually don’t.” She says, looking away, up at the sky and then down to her cup. Anywhere but at Stiles. He wants to know what she’s hearing.
He knows the things Lydia hears usually warns her about death. Other people die when she screams. He’s a little anxious to hear what she’s hearing this time. What if it’s something to do with him? The way she won’t look at him clues him in as much.
“I hear your heartbeat.” She whispers.
His heartbeat jumps and she’s suddenly looking at him, terrified. He knows by the look on her face there is no other heartbeat she could be hearing, though he wants to deny it. She heard the jump in his heartbeat just as much as he actually felt it run through his body. Was she suggesting that he could be the next person to die?
She continues talking to him, trying to reassure him that she didn’t know what was going on. It could be nothing. He knew better than to believe that. At some point he blocks her out and starts to panic. If he died, he’d be leaving a lot behind. His dad would have no one. He didn’t want to die yet. Not now when he was just trying to get out of Beacon Hills.
Lydia tells him that it’s different. The way it sounds to her. It’s not like a panicked sound. It’s just constantly at the back of her head. That doesn’t make Stiles feel better. If anything, he’s somehow connected to Lydia and he doesn’t want to be connected to someone who finds the bodies.
He suddenly needs air so badly it hurts. He thinks he’s doing fine in Lydia’s eyes. It doesn’t look like he’s in the midst of a panic attack but Lydia’s normally really good at hiding the truth to make things better. Breath, Stiles. He hears it like a mantra in his brain even though he knows he’s not the one telling himself to do so.
He bats Lydia’s arm away when she tries to help him up. He just needs to sit there and calm down. He tries putting his head between his legs and it ends up working. When he looks back up, Lydia’s knelt beside him with a concerned look on her face.
She suggests driving him home and he wants to disagree but he knows he’s had more to drink than her. He knows as she drives his jeep through familiar streets back to the school to get her car that she feels bad. He almost feels the apology that she’s holding in. The tension in the car is suffocating and he’s relieved when she finally parks the jeep and gets out.
As she walks to her car and he gets out of the passenger seat, she suggests following him home. She wants to make sure he gets back safe. He declines and tells her he’s going to stick around for a while. He missed practice so he tells her he should go shoot some goals for a little while.
His lacrosse equipment is in the trunk of the jeep so he pulls it out and hauls the bag over his shoulder. Lydia pulls around and waves at him as she goes. He knows she’s still concerned but the best thing to do is leave him alone at this point.
He spends what feels like hours trying to make shots. He misses miserably because he knows he’s still a terrible lacrosse player. He’s obviously only on the team because of Scott these days. He likes his spot on the bench but he thinks after high school he’ll give up sports all together.
He’s also slightly tipsy which is why his shot is off way more than usual. That fact is also probably the reason that when he gets a text from Sourwolf asking where he is, he tells him his exact location. His mind isn’t exactly letting him think about consequences.
In the past hour he’s stripped out of his sweatshirt even though it’s actually a pretty chilly and windy day. It’s not bothering him, plus all that pent up energy has come back since that day he kicked Jackson’s ass. He throws the balls he has at the goal like he’s angry at them. He’s just angry in general.
Derek eventually shows up and Stiles doesn’t pay attention. He knows he’s there, feels his presence, but doesn’t stop what he’s doing for a second. Well, he does stop when Derek catches a ball he accidentally tossed at him.
He stands there, out of breath while Derek just glares at him with his stupid bushy eyebrows raised. He thinks Derek’s concerned about him, maybe he talked to Lydia. Or maybe Stiles just looked borderline insane.
He could feel sweat pooling down his shirt. He rubs his neck with his hand and looks away from Derek, back at the goal where straggling balls are lying everywhere. Derek makes him nervous and slightly turned on.
Stiles hadn’t talked to him, let alone seen him the past couple days. He looked as attractive as usual. Maybe even more. His beard is fuller than usual. His hair is a little more disheveled than his normal groomed look. He's also in that stupid leather jacket that may have been one of Stiles' favorite things to see him in.
He suddenly feels how cold it actually is. He rubs his arms and crosses them over his chest. Derek raises an eyebrow like he’s testing him. It frustrates Stiles how he hasn’t said anything yet. He knows the reason Derek’s here is so they can talk.
Stiles walks to the bench where he left his water and goes to take a long swig of it. He catches Derek watching him as he tilts the bottle up, baring his neck. He thinks he’s a menace because Derek gets this uncomfortable look after starring for far too long.
“You look cold.” Derek finally says, approaching him carefully. He pulls off his jacket to wrap around Stiles shoulders. Stiles backs away and stops him.
“I’ve got a sweatshirt.”
Derek ignores him and wraps the leather jacket around him anyway. It’s still bigger on him than he imagined it would be. But it smells like Derek and sort of like the earth and he doesn’t know if he wants to part with it any time soon. Curse him.
He sits on the bleachers and Derek follows suit but doesn’t sit right next to him. They keep a manageable distance. Stiles really doesn’t know what to say to him. He was the one that walked away that day. He should be the one crawling back for forgiveness.
“Stiles, about what happened-“
“If I wanted to talk about my feelings, I wouldn’t have told you where I was.” Stiles sighs, interrupting him. He doesn’t want this conversation to go anywhere.
“I just need to know something.” Derek says. Stiles can feel his eyes on the side of his face. It takes everything in him not to look at Derek. “What did you see?”
Stiles doesn’t want to talk about it. But Derek’s right there and it would feel so good to just tell one person. He trusts Derek. He can get Derek to believe that he doesn’t need to figure out what’s wrong with him.
“I saw my worst nightmare.” Stiles tells him. “And I see it every night. Like it’s on repeat. And I can never wake myself up till the very end.”
“What is it?”
“It’s death and destruction. There’s so much blood. I don’t know what it all means and it scares me. There’s people. Faces. At first I couldn’t see who they were but they’ve been getting clearer.”
“Who do you see?”
“You.” It’s a shudder under his breath. But he knows Derek heard him loud and clear. “Scott. Lydia. Isaac. Allison. Hell, even the alpha pack. And it’s like it’s my fault. Everyone’s dead because of me.”
Derek puts a hand on his shoulder. Tells him that it’s not real. No one’s dead, no one’s dying. But Stiles doesn’t believe him. There are people dying and they are in the center of it all. They’re the ones trying to fix it. And Stiles would never suggest letting it go, letting it run its course but he wants to.
Derek asks him about the energy that Deaton was talking about. That’s something he does not want to tell Derek about. But Derek nags him about it, asking him why he didn’t tell Derek when they were training together. Stiles doesn’t know what to tell him without it sounding like it has a deeper meaning because it doesn’t.
“Stiles,”
“I don’t want to talk about it! You won’t understand it.” Stiles shakes his head, getting up so he can pace around.
“What won’t I get?” Derek asks.
“It’s you Derek! It happens when I’m around you! I feel it right now. I feel like I’m about to explode!” Stiles exclaims. “It’s worse when I’m with you.”
“Are we still… together?”
“Why would we be?” Stiles snaps. He looks at Derek who has a pained look on his face. Like he was hoping Stiles would say otherwise. Derek would have to forgive him for them to be a thing again. He didn’t know if they could get back to where they were before. He messed things up pretty bad.
“I don’t want it to be over.” Derek tells him. It feels like they’re in a relationship. And Stiles wants to believe that’s what this is. That Derek is begging for him back because he loves him. He shakes the thought out of his head and tries to figure out what to say to that.
“And you think I do?” He asks. “I screwed everything up, Derek. Why would you want-“
“Because whatever we had, it was good.” Derek interrupts. Stiles can’t deny that Derek is exactly correct. They were good together. “I’m sorry that I tried to tell you what to do.”
“You’re an idiot.” Stiles shakes his head. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
“So we’re okay?” He asks.
“I don’t know.” Stiles says honestly.
“We can figure this out Stiles. You don’t have to try and be tough about it. If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to.”
“Stop saying all the right things.” Stiles sighs exasperatedly. Derek was just too perfect of a guy for someone as messed up as him.
Derek nods and steps down from the bleachers to cup Stiles face in his hands. This causes Stiles to stop pacing. He’s looking directly into Derek’s eyes and he thinks he sees stars. There’s a whole galaxy inside them. Derek is just so beautiful that he doesn’t have words when he’s around him.
Derek smiles at him, leaning in slightly, pausing to tell Stiles something. “You suck at lacrosse.” And then he backs away and leans down to pick up Stiles’ lacrosse stick.
“You’re rude.” Stiles rolls his eyes. And a good listener.
“Are you hungry? We could go get a burger.”
“Like a date?” Stiles smirks.
Derek rolls his eyes and smiles but doesn't answer him, ushering Stiles to follow.
Stiles laughs and tells him he’ll meet him at the loft. He had to pick up some equipment before he could go anywhere. Derek agrees and leaves him alone. Stiles doesn’t know exactly what happened but he thinks it’s something good for once.
Stiles and Derek easily slip into a routine again. Derek doesn't press Stiles for information. Which just makes their whole relationship that much easier. It's starting to feel like an actual friends with benefits thing rather than whatever they had in the past. It makes it easier on Stiles. He doesn't have to worry about feelings.
"I have to get to school." Stiles tells Derek, as he scrambles to throw his clothes back on.
"You could have waited till after school to come over." Derek rolls his eyes but hands Stiles one of the socks he's clearly searching for.
"Mm, could have being the key words there." Stiles grins and runs his fingers through his sexed out hair. He doesn't look too bad considering his hair normally looks a little disheveled.
"Come on, you can grab a granola bar or something before you go." Derek ushers him to follow him to the kitchen.
Stiles grabs his hand and they walk downstairs together. It feels a little too domestic for the routine but neither of them seem to mind it. They're startled out of the world that consists of just the two of them by a, "Well good morning to you two."
Stiles' immediate action is to rip his hand out of Derek's grasp and keep a friendly distance with his friend. He doesn't know how they weren't alluded to the fact that someone else was in the loft with them. Derek had super-hearing for god's sake.
"Peter." Derek glares at him. "What are you doing here?"
"I think the better question is, what is he?" Peter makes a cocky gesture directed at Stiles. Like he's figured out all the secrets of the world. Stiles wishes he could punch the smug look off his face.
"Research." Stiles answers quickly. "Not that it's any of your business."
"Not my business? Excuse me, but I am part of the pack." Peter scoffs.
"That may be true but-"
"Stiles, you should get to school." Derek interrupts him. Stiles gives him a confused look. He was just about to burn Peter's ass.
He wants to argue with Derek. Tell him that there's no way he would leave him alone with the devil's spawn. But Derek was also very stubborn and by the look on his face, he wasn't about to take no for an answer.
"Fine." Stiles huffs. "See you later?"
"Yeah." Derek nods, tossing Stiles an apple as he made his way to the door.
Derek's right back on Peter as soon as Stiles is gone. He doesn't know exactly why his uncle has taken this exact moment to show up, but he's not happy. He's sure he and Stiles could have at least gotten a good five more minutes to themselves.
"So..." Peter drawls, annoyingly tapping his fingers on the counter.
"What do you want Peter?"
"Oh, me? I just wanted some information. You know, I'm not at every pack meeting and I miss out on a few things. Clearly, I've missed out on a little more than I thought." Peter explains. Derek doesn't like the sound of that. It sounds like Peter's scheming. Nothing good every comes from that.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Derek asks.
Peter walks past him and there's nothing Derek can do except follow him. Peter looks around the room. He starts sniffing. It's really creepy and Derek just wants him to stop. He just about tells him to when Peter does.
"I get it now." He says. "I mean, it was blandly obvious that the kid was hiding something. And then you were being so cryptic, more than you usually are. And then there's the smell."
"What are you getting at?" Derek was really starting to get irritated by his uncle's presence.
"He's your mate." Peter smugly replied, he says it as if it were obvious. Obvious to Derek, at least.
"What are you talking about?" Derek suddenly gets uncomfortable. There's no way he could have heard Peter correctly.
"You don't know?" Peter asked.
Derek turns away and panics. He knows what having a mate is supposed to feel like. Your world shifts and you're in love. It's that one person for the rest of your natural life. Or in his case, supernatural.
The way you treat your mate is so different than the way you'd treat just anyone. You scent them. You protect them. You feel their pain. He doesn't know how he hasn't noticed what he's been doing. If he has even been doing any of it.
"You know what I'm talking about." Peter grins. "You've scented him. You protected him from me when you knew I was here. Have you not realized?"
"I can't. There has to be a mistake." Derek shakes his head. I don't love him.
"You and I both know that's a total lie." Peter laughs. "What's the problem, alpha?"
"I can't let him live like this. I'm not going to force him into something that's permanent." Derek says desperately. He's not going to let Stiles end up like Paige.
Everyone Derek loves, leaves. Or dies. He's stuck here with Peter and a sister he can't reconnect with. The only person that makes him feel alive again is Stiles and that terrifies him. Stiles doesn't need his baggage. This thing between them, is not anything serious. At least not to Stiles.
"How self-sacrificing of you." Peter rolls his eyes.
This is all such a revelation for Derek that he doesn't even mind when Peter kicks back on his couch and tries to take a nap. Derek goes back into the kitchen because he wants to be somewhere his uncle is not.
He grabs onto the kitchen counter and his shoulders hunch over in thought. He can't believe he's missed something so important. He doesn't know how he let this happen. How did he fall for Stiles so easily?
Because he fell so easily for Kate. And he would never believe Stiles was anything like Kate, but it was a bad concept for him. He really loved Kate and she betrayed him. He was naive and too young to understand that the world was much darker than his average teenage life. He didn't want to make the same mistake here.
He needed to let Stiles go. But they'd just became comfortable with each other again. He wasn't pressuring Stiles into talking about what was happening to him, physically and mentally. He didn't even go to Deaton for information. Though, he wanted to so badly. He wanted to help Stiles even if Stiles didn't want the help.
He walks back into the main area of the loft to confront Peter. He can tell Peter's not sleeping because he's breathing normally. Derek walks over to the couch and drags Peter up so they can talk about this.
"You're not telling anyone about this." Derek says, holding his arm hard enough to crush the bones in his wrist.
"Not even Stiles?" He asks, fake shocked. "Honestly, you're so predictable Derek. Playing tough to keep everyone else safe. You always were like your sister."
"Don't talk about her." Derek growls.
"I see she's still a weak spot." Peter shrugs, prying Derek's hand off his wrist.
"You don't get to reminisce in her memory. You killed her." Derek says, sprouting teeth and claws.
"Granted. I wasn't in my right mind though." Peter shrugs.
"Get out of here." Derek says. "Before I do something you'll regret."
"Fine. Just remember, I'm warning you. Information like this has a way of... getting out." Peter shrugs, quickly exiting the loft. Peter's no where near scared of Derek, but he knows that Derek could easily take him in a fight, especially with Derek's alpha powers and his weakness from resurrection.
Derek paces around the loft trying to figure out what to do with the information. He's thinking back to see if there was a defying moment that he should have known. Maybe it was the start of all of this. Saying yes to having sex with Stiles on a regular basis could have been a step in the right direction because that was totally out of character.
When he slept with Stiles for the first time, it was kind of addicting. He'd been in relationships and had countless one night stands, but none of them made him feel the way he did when he was with Stiles. It scared him that he could have been so oblivious as to what was happening between them. Having a mate was a big deal. He'd never be able to tell Stiles and now that he knew the truth, it'd be harder to act as if everything was fine.
Stiles would catch on to something. That's why Derek had to figure out a plan to back off of the teenager for a while. He needed to convince Stiles that taking a break was a good idea without making the kid feel worthless. When he was a teenager, his mind definitely went there when Kate wanted a break for a few days. Little did he know she was plotting the death of his entire family.
Derek knows that having a mate means that you're in love but he can't find the moment he fell in love with Stiles. It's not the same for every wolf so maybe he still hasn't gotten there yet. He might still be falling for Stiles and that's why he didn't sense it before, because he wasn't sure of their relationship himself. Plus, he's vulnerable from Paige and Kate. He doesn't want to ruin the good thing he and Stiles have.
He decides he needs to get out of the loft for a while and get some fresh air. He ends up driving to the animal clinic to talk to Deaton. Deaton probably knew the entire time and was just too cryptic to tell him about it. Emissaries knew way too much and should really consider sharing with the packs that they watch over. He owed it to Derek's mom to help Derek out.
If Deaton is surprised to see him, he doesn't show it. He ushers for Derek to follow him to the back room after lifting the wolfsbane shield. He's got a dog laying on the table when Derek gets back there. The dog growls at him which isn't uncommon in that species. He flashed his alpha eyes and the puppy immediately surrenders.
"What can I do for you today, Derek?" Deaton asks. It looks like he's removing a splint from the dog's leg, but Derek's not sure because he doesn't know much about the medical field.
"Did you know that Stiles is my mate?" Derek asks softly. He doesn't know how to approach the subject lightly. Being a mated werewolf is kind of a big deal. It may be common but there are some wolves that never have a mate. Derek thought he was going to be one of those wolves.
"Yes." Deaton nods, lifting his head from his work to glance at Derek. He gives the wolf a questioning look. He obviously wants Derek to continue but he doesn't exactly know what he came here to ask other than that.
"How long?" It's a simple question. But Derek thinks he won't exactly like the answer. Deaton knows thinks that he shouldn't know. Nobody should have the privilege of knowing something so intimate about Derek unless he wanted them to know. But Peter figured it out and the veterinarian knew everything.
"Do you remember the time Kate shot you with a wolfsbane bullet and Stiles stayed with you the entire time and saved your life?" Deaton asks. It takes Derek back to a simpler time. A time when he couldn't stand Scott and Stiles. They got into too much trouble and neither of them trusted him back then.
"Scott brought the antidote." Derek corrects him.
"But he didn't make sure you didn't die. He was just a factor." Deaton says. He moves around the clinic and collects a few objects from the cabinets before stitching the dog up and sending it back to one of the cages.
"So what's your point? How did you know?" Derek asks. Deaton's flashback is taking too long. He doesn't understand what that event in his past had to do with Stiles being his mate. It was such a long time ago. Years had gone by since then.
"I watched the surveillance footage from my security cameras. Derek, after you passed out, you shouldn't have been able to be woken back up. Stiles brought you back." Deaton tells him.
It all makes sense then. He knew he was going to die that day. But there was this constant buzzing feeling he got when he was around Stiles. It kept the wound from getting worse. Stiles' presence healed him? When he passed out, he felt Stiles punch him back awake. The connection sent enough adrenaline through his body that he was able to save himself.
"I think you understand now, don't you?" Deaton's lips lift into what could almost be a smile but isn't. He's not sure he's ever actually seen the guy express emotion before, let alone smile.
"You're not going to tell anyone, right?"
"I will refrain from releasing this information to anyone. But don't you think it would be wise to tell the one you're bonded to?" Deaton asks. He makes it seem like not letting Stiles know is a bad idea. Just like Peter did. Because information like this had a way of getting out.
"No. He doesn't need to be burdened with something like this." Derek shakes his head and leans against the wall. Deaton's giving him a look like he knows something Derek does not. He hates that look.
"It's not a burden, Derek. Your mother and father were bonded in this way. It made both of them stronger. It made your whole pack stronger." Deaton tells him, he turns around to fish for something out of the drawers below his cabinets.
He hands Derek a bullet shell. It looks like the one that cured Derek. Knowing Deaton, that's exactly what it is. He takes the shell from Deaton and it shocks him a little and he holds it between his thumb and index finger. He wonders why the man would save it.
"I had a feeling a conflict like this would come along. Your family always was quite complicated." Deaton smiles softly, it's kind of sad and Derek can't pin-point why it would be. "If you need to be reminded of what you have, hold on to that."
He's gesturing toward the bullet shell. Something that should have ended his life but in turn, saved it. Stiles saved him. He has been saving him from the moment they met. If it takes him not finding out about their mating status to return the favor, then that's what Derek will do. Mating can get messy and complicated. Not to mention, it's for life.
"If you change your mind." Deaton says in lieu of a goodbye. Derek leaves with that last sentence clawing at his brain.
When he gets back to the loft, he can hear three heartbeats. He takes his time going up in case of a trap or an ambush. He's too distracted to realize they are familiar to his ears. The door's unlocked when he slides it open and he's sure he locked it before he left.
He steps inside and sees Stiles sitting on his couch. He has a water bottle in one hand and his phone in the other. He stands up when he notices Derek is standing in the doorway. He's still a little confused as to how Stiles got in and why he's there.
"Hey." Stiles says, walking towards him, pulling him inside the loft while shutting the door behind him.
"Why are you here?" Derek looks on the clock and sees that school should still be in. Unless something bad happened. A lot of stuff tended to go down at the school.
"Early day. Cora let me in." Stiles says. He can tell Derek's a little freaked out which only makes Derek freak out more. Like he knows what's got him so paranoid. "I wanted to talk to you about this morning."
"So did I." Derek says honestly, a little relieved as well. "Is there somewhere you want to go? Cora and Isaac might listen in."
"A walk would be nice." Stiles nods. He grabs his sweatshirt that's resting on the arm of the couch and pulls it on. Derek takes the lead and they use the rickety old elevator rather than the stairs for once.
They get around the block to make sure they're far enough away that they can't be heard. Stiles starts talking first. He gets the conversation flowing by just talking about his day. He tells Derek about how he narrowly missed getting a detention from his history teacher and how Scott took the fall instead.
It's nice hearing Stiles talk. Derek hadn't realized before but he really liked the teenager's voice. It was energetic and full of life. It soothed the parts of Derek that felt broken most of the time. Stiles talking to him like a normal person was something Derek didn't know he'd been craving.
And the way Stiles talked was all gestures. His hands moved fluently in front of him, like he was telling a story. His hands were something of beauty as well. Whether it was the boy's lips or hands, Derek could and would get lost in either. Which is why he's tuned out of the conversation until Stiles mentions something about where he'd gone to all day.
"I uh... went to talk to Deaton." Derek tells him casually. He feels Stiles stop even though Derek keeps walking a few more steps. He turns around to see Stiles kind of dumb struck and maybe a little nervous.
"What about?" Stiles asks.
"I just wanted to know if he had any more information that would be useful to us right now." Derek lies. The look of relief on Stiles face has him a little confused. What did Stiles think he was going to talk to Deaton about?
"Did he find anything?" Stiles asks, changing the subject. Derek wants to drive the conversation back to him but he'd rather they not fight. Derek shakes his head and Stiles catches up to him and they keep walking again.
The conversation has mellowed out and they're just walking in silence. Derek doesn't know how to bring up what he really wants to talk about. Stiles looks happy to just walk around town with him. He likes seeing him in this light. Because whenever they're together, it's usually in darkness.
"Peter knows." Derek tells him and Stiles stops again. It's like one of his worst fears; someone having this kind of information over them.
"How?" Stiles asks, struggling to keep his emotions in check. It's like he can't breathe.
"He can smell it in the loft." Derek sighs. "Maybe we should cool it down. Not have sex as frequently as we have been."
"Lydia knows somethings going on too." Stiles tells him.
"We need to take a step back and figure out where we want to go from here."
"Yeah. Maybe you're right." Stiles nods.
He's surprised at how easily Stiles goes with it. If it makes hiding what they're doing from everyone easier, than he'd do anything. Derek of course does not mention that the real reason he needs to cool down is so he doesn't fall in love with Stiles. He hopes Stiles doesn't sense anything already.
"Don't do anything stupid, okay?" Stiles says suddenly. It's like he's saying without him, Derek is reckless. "I should go."
"Let me walk you back."
"Okay." Stiles murmurs and they almost hold hands. But Derek doesn't put enough effort in to make it happen. It almost feels like they've broken up.
Stiles spends time with Lydia because she does know that something is going on. He doesn't see Derek for a while. They talk. But they've backed off each other in a big way. Lydia can sense something has changed and her solution is alcohol.
Stiles sits on her bed while she goes to get them glasses and break into her parent's liquor cabinet. He thinks for a moment that this is some kind of distraction. He's never been in Lydia's room apart from that time when she went psycho and he came to check up on her. He doesn't think Jackson would let him go near her without an explanation.
"I have a bottle of bourbon or a bottle of vodka." Lydia waves them in her hands when she returns. Stiles is too distracted from his thoughts to care which one she gives him.
He takes the glass of bourbon from her hands and chugs it. He's prepared to get wasted tonight. He's a little horny and a little emotionally constipated. Those are two very bad things to be when stuck in a room with Lydia Martin. He doesn't want an unexpected boner and he certainly doesn't want to spill his guts to her. He's sure one or both of those things will happen.
Lydia sits on the ground and motions for him to do the same. He strips off his plaid button up and hoodie so he's just wearing a Beatles t-shirt. Lydia approves. He thinks she just wants to get him comfortable so she can torture information out of him. Or maybe, they're friends and she just wants him to feel safe around her.
Lydia starts talking about Jackson and Stiles wants to shoot his brains out. Especially when she starts talking about how he is in bed. He may be secretly banging Derek, but that doesn't mean he can be considered as a gay best friend. He takes her hand and that silences her.
"As nice as the blackmail material is from this conversation, I would prefer not hearing more about Jackson's sex habits." Stiles tells her and she giggles.
"What about you?" Lydia asks. "What was losing your virginity like?"
"So you heard about that?" Stiles asks. He thought that had blown over a while ago. The school had calmed down and a lot of people backed off when he'd told Theo that he was seeing someone. Word probably traveled.
"Who didn't hear about that?" She asks, pouring him some more bourbon, mixing a little vodka in there too. "So, spill!"
"Lydia I don't feel very comfortable-"
"Mine wasn't with Jackson." She tells him. She says it was freshman year and she wanted to get rid of it so she slept with Danny. And that's how Danny figured out he was gay. Jackson doesn't know about it. Stiles can't believe how much blackmail material he has over these two guys. He laughs. It feels good to laugh.
Lydia's waiting for him to say something. How does he tell her without spilling the secret? She knows something but it's not like she knows the details. He's nervous to tell someone. He offhandedly mentioned it to Danny but this was different. Lydia was really his friend. What would she think of him?
"I don't know. It was weird." Stiles mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. He cradles his cup afterwards and doesn't have the courage to look at Lydia. He hadn't really thought about it after it happened. It kind of hurt but he enjoyed it. It was supposed to be enjoyable.
"But it was nice?" She asked, hopefully. He sees how much Lydia cares about his well being. He nods and she smiles, squeezing his hand. She's happy for him. He's happy that he's not in love with her anymore and they can be happy for each other like this.
"I've been sleeping with Derek for the past couple months." He spills. He doesn't know why he tells her but she isn't smiling anymore. He's afraid that she's ashamed of him now. Maybe she hadn't known what was going on after all.
"I thought you two were just circling around each other. I didn't know it'd gotten this far." Lydia gasps.
"It's just sex." He says quickly.
"He's the person you lost your virginity to." Lydia continues, truly astonished. He's not sure how to take her emotions. She's so shocked that she missed it. "You like him, don't you?"
"Maybe." Stiles sighs. He shouldn't have said anything. He doesn't know how he feels. He could be falling for Derek though. He cares about the guy. It's hard not to fall for someone you feel safe being with.
Then, something weird happens.
"Stiles, your heart is racing." Lydia says worriedly. She gets up and puts her hand to his chest. He knows it's beating fast but he doesn't know why.
His lungs start closing up and he's trying to keep himself steady by holding on to Lydia. He doesn't know what's happening but it's not good. He can sense that something is happening somewhere else. People are getting hurt.
"Lydia, where is the pack tonight?" Stiles asks.
"They're fine." Lydia tells him quickly. He can tell that she's lying.
"Lydia." He says seriously, clutching at his heart. "Someone's going to die."
"I would feel like I had to scream if-"
"LYDIA!" He yells, falling to the floor on his hands and knees. She goes after him trying to help him up.
"They got a lead on the Darach. They wanted to leave the humans out of it." Lydia tells him with a sigh, helping him on to the bed.
"You and I both know we are nowhere close to being human." He steadies himself and is ready to get up and go but she pushes him back down.
"They want us to stay out of it." Lydia begs him to forget about it. But he can't. Derek's in danger. He doesn't know how he knows but he just does.
"I'm going with or without you." He gets himself up and to Lydia's door. She trails behind him, grabbing her keys in the process. Neither of them are very fit to drive but Lydia's more responsible when drinking so she drives.
It's like Lydia knows exactly where they're supposed to be going even if she says she doesn't know where they are. Perks of being a banshee. She can find the dead people, or people close to death. When they get to the woods, Stiles notices that trees are blazing with fire.
He more afraid now. Derek's somewhere out there, facing a fear he's bound to have. He sees someone stumbling towards them and runs after them. It's Isaac. He almost collapses but Stiles gets to him first. He hooks an arm underneath him and trips a little because Isaac is not holding himself up at all. Then Lydia is at his side and holding the other half of him up while they take him back to the cars Lydia parked next to.
"It was a trap." Isaac whines. The teen doesn't just have burn marks, he is scarred with huge slash marks, almost like he was attacked by an animal. "Real wolves. The Darach lit a fire around us. They were scared and attacked."
"Where's everyone else?" Stiles asks in a panic.
"Fighting. They're rabid." Isaac gasps. He's really banged up. Lydia takes him and lays him on the ground. She gets a first aid kit out of the trunk of her car and goes to work. Stiles is too worried about everyone else to do something.
"He's not healing very fast." Lydia tells Stiles, there are tears leaking from her eyes. She's afraid too. How could they have been so stupid?
"The Darach... used magic... to make that possible." Isaac says, breathing shallowly.
Lydia can sense that Stiles is ready to bolt. He needs to help. They both know that the others are going to be in a similar shape. He needs to get to them and get them out of there before someone ends up dead.
"Go." She tells him softly. "They need help."
"Stiles, be careful." Isaac whines, shining his fluorescent eyes at the boy. Stiles nods and goes running into the flames. The heat takes him by surprised. He's never been so close to so much fire.
It's surprisingly easy to find Erica and Boyd. They aren't being attacked by wolves so he goes in to rescue them. A huge tree falls to the right of him and it almost rolls on him. He's terrified but he keeps moving. He helps Erica up with Boyd's help. They're both weaker than they should be but they look slightly better than Isaac.
"Come on. We have to get you guys out of here." Stiles tells them.
"We can make it." Boyd says. "Go find Jackson or Scott."
"What about Derek?" Stiles asks.
"We haven't seen him since this all started." Erica says apologetically. He nods and runs off in search of the rest of his friends.
He almost misses Jackson but he sees a flash of blue and has enough intelligence to go and check it out. Jackson's trapped under a big log and stiles isn't sure how he's going to get him out without getting his hands burned.
He pushes anyway and with Jackson's help, they get him out of there. It crushed the bones in his left leg though so he has to lean on Stiles for support. Jackson tells him that Allison is close by and they've been shouting back and forth to each other so they go find her.
She's surrounded by a circle of fire and Stiles is at a loss for how they're supposed to get her out of there. There's a thick cut next to her temple and she's covered in soot but other than that, she looks fine.
Stiles has the idea to have her stand on a rock and jump over the flames. He rests Jackson against a boulder so he can catch her before she hits the ground. She makes it into his arms and he sets her down because she can walk. They both help Jackson back to where Lydia was with Isaac and probably Boyd and Erica.
"Where's Scott and Derek?" Stiles asks.
"You didn't find Scott?" Allison asks worriedly. "We have to go back."
They're out of the woods and almost back to the cars. Stiles agrees with Allison but Jackson is their priority and Jackson is totally against the idea. So they go where the rest of the pack is recuperating.
Lydia has Boyd helping with Isaac and she gets up and runs to Jackson. Stiles backs off and lets Lydia and Allison take over. Lydia is clearly relieved that her boyfriend only has minor damage. She's brushing his hair with her fingers while Allison tends to his wounds and tries to keep his leg propped up so it will heal right.
"Is Cora out there?" Stiles asks.
"She didn't come." Isaac says softly. He's the only one paying attention to Stiles and all of Stiles' attention is on the fire. "Neither did Peter."
"I have to go back in there." Stiles says.
"Don't be ridiculous." Isaac scoffs. "They'll find their way back. They're alphas."
Stiles wishes that made him feel better, but it doesn't. He's so worried. His best friend and the guy he's maybe starting to fall in love with could be in danger. They wait it out but the forest is just getting more engulfed in flames.
Stiles says they have to do something but Allison's a steady hand that keeps him from running towards the threat. Allison gets him to put pressure on Isaac's wound so he's at least a little distracted. It doesn't work. He still glances up every so often. Boyd tells everyone that he can hear sirens in the distance and they should all probably go soon.
Stiles refuses to leave until Scott and Derek are safe. But the more time that passes by, the more pointless it seems. He just shakes his head and denies that there's even a possible chance that they're dead. He wasn't supposed to lose anymore people.
When all hope is lost in the rest of the pack, they all start getting ready to go. Lydia tries to get him into her car but he's not having any of it. There are tears in her eyes when he looks at her. Which is why he doesn't realize he's crying too when she wipes the tears from his cheeks. He tells her he's not okay. She just nods and holds on to him.
No one notices when two people start approaching them slowly. Erica says something first. They're sure she's just hallucinating until they all look in the direction she's pointing at. When Stiles lets go of Lydia, he sees them. Scott is holding Derek up with all of his strength. Scott actually doesn't look too bad, it's Derek that's weighing him down. They're both stumbling slowly but steadily toward the pack.
Stiles starts running to go and help Scott but he doesn't even help carry Derek, he barrels into him and hugs him tightly. Scott's let go of him now, leaving Stiles to deal with the weight of Derek. Stiles quietly tells Scott that he should go and reassure the pack that they're both okay. Scott nods and leaves Stiles to talk to Derek who looks terrible and exhausted.
"Fuck." Stiles whines. "Fuck."
He clutches onto Derek tighter, happy to just hear a breath coming out of Derek's mouth. He can feel his heart beat too. He's alive. He's not exactly well, but they can work with this. Stiles can take care of him.
"I'll drive you back to the loft." Stiles tells him, pushing him up so he can see Derek's face. He's still crying but he doesn't care. He's just so glad to see Derek.
"I'm fine, Stiles. I can drive myself." Derek denies. He's trying to be tough even when it's clear that he wouldn't make it one step without collapsing.
"You're not fine. Let me do this." Stiles argues.
He helps Derek to the Camaro and shoves him into the passenger seat. The keys are in the ignition where Derek had left them. As he makes his way to the driver's side, Scott stops him. He gives his best friend a tight hug, just for reassurance that he's alive and well too.
"You going to be okay?" Stiles asks him.
"I'm fine. Are you taking Derek back to the loft?"
"Yeah. Uh... if my dad asks, can you tell him I'm at your place? I think I'm going to stay at the loft and make sure he's okay." Stiles asks.
"Of course." Scott nods.
Stiles thanks him with another hug and starts driving, hearing the sirens in the distance coming closer. The pack is going in the opposite direction to Scott's house. Derek isn't really speaking, Stiles thinks he's dozed off. He has to wake Derek up when they make it to the loft and they ride the elevator up.
No one's home but the door's unlocked. Stiles gets Derek to the couch and heads to the bathroom for first aid supplies. Derek's been stocked up since Stiles started coming around more often because his wounds don't automatically heal.
He returns with a wet wash cloth and the whole first aid box. He isn't sure what he's going to need yet. Derek will probably deny the help but Stiles is going to do something to keep himself from worrying too much. He hears Derek groan when he puts the first aid kit down.
"Stiles, I'm okay."
"You are not okay. You look like you were pulverized by a meat grinder." Stiles threatens and pulls a chair over so he can clean the blood from Derek's chest. The shredded shirt is still in the way but Derek tears it open for Stiles' benefit.
Stiles presses the wash cloth to Derek's chest and gets to work. Derek hisses at the contact and Stiles feels bad but he should really get himself cleaned up. Derek doesn't tell him to stop so he removes as much as he can. It doesn't look like he's bleeding excessively anymore so Stiles gets out the bandages and wraps some around Derek's chest.
He goes to the kitchen to grab a water bottle from the fridge, when he passes by a mirror. He looks at his appearance and just physically shivers. His shirt is drenched in Derek's blood. His face looks dirty from soot. He looks incredibly exhausted. It's not a good day in the life of Stiles Stilinski.
When he makes it back to the living room, Derek is trying to sit up but is having a bit of trouble. Stiles quickly goes to help him. He hands him the water bottle after he's securely sitting up on his own without help.
"Are you okay?" Derek asks him, reaching out to caress Stiles' face. He rubs his cheek with his thumb and Stiles leans into the touch. He missed the affection he got when he was with Derek.
"Yeah." Stiles nods. "I was just worried about you."
"I'm no Doctor, but I think I'm going to heal just fine." Derek smiles softly and sets his water down on the table next to the couch.
"I missed you." Stiles sighs, grabbing Derek's now free hand. He pulls Derek a little closer so he can kiss him. It tastes like ash and chapped lips but Stiles is content with it.
"Me too." Derek nods.
"I think you should get some rest." Stiles says. He helps Derek upstairs to his bedroom and makes sure Derek is comfortable before he leaves.
Stiles goes downstairs and cleans up a little. He takes a shower and it's everything he needed. He doesn't feel like putting his dirty shirt back on so he finds a blanket and sleeps on the couch. He had no intention of leaving Derek that night.
When Derek wakes up the next morning, he's completely healed but a little sore. He goes downstairs to get something to eat because he's starving. On his way there he notices Stiles on the couch. He looks almost peaceful as he sleeps. Derek looks at the clock and knows Stiles is late for school. He deserves the sleep though. Derek makes some coffee before waking Stiles up.
"You didn't have to stay." Derek tells him as he hands the mug to Stiles.
"I wanted to make sure you were okay." Stiles tells him, taking a sip of the delicious coffee that's made just the way he likes it.
"Well, thank you."
"For what?" Stiles scoffs and sets the mug down. He looks kind of cold sitting there with his shirt off and the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. It's probably the fall air turning into winter.
"For saving me since the day we met." Derek tells him.
"Well, if you wouldn't get yourself into trouble we wouldn't have that predicament." Stiles shrugs but smiles. He likes saving Derek's ass.
Stiles lunges forward and kisses Derek. Derek tastes like his normal cinnamon forest scent. Stiles feels better. He's glad he hasn't lost someone else. Someone he cares so deeply for. Derek carries him to the bedroom and they do things they've been deprived of for far to long.
Thanksgiving passes by in a blur. He and his dad don't really celebrate anymore. They can't find a reason to be very thankful since Claudia passed away. So they sit in and eat takeout because he'll allow his dad to have at least one cheat day. They order Chinese from the only place in town that has the egg rolls his dad likes.
It's a pretty quiet evening. His dad has most of it off so they chill in the living room and watch A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving because it's on every year. And some tradition they just can't get rid of. Especially when his mom used to force them to sit down and watch it with her. It was still painful but they got through it together.
Scott put together a pack Thanksgiving dinner. He obviously wanted to make them feel united as a group, even through all the blood shed. Another body was found. Another doctor or nurse of some sort. Scott was concerned about his mother because she definitely healed Danny from his lungs collapsing the other day. Danny was still recovering and Ethan was watching him. He also offered to look out for Scott's mom while she was on duty.
When his dad had to leave for work, he headed to Derek's. Derek didn't necessarily offer to host their little get together but his place was most reasonable. He had been trying to get along with Scott for the benefit of both the packs. Lately, it kind of felt like the packs weren't two, but one big one. Stiles still wasn't sure how he felt about that. There was more people to lose in a group.
Derek opens the door for him when he shows up. Cora and Isaac are smiling and laughing on the couch and it looks a little festive in the loft. It's very disconcerting since the loft normally looks dreary and not to mention, a little bent out of shape.
Stiles brings pie. It's his mom's recipe and everyone loves pie. He's not a terrible cook so he figures the pack will like it. He brings three because he's going to be surrounded by half a dozen werewolves. He'll be lucky if he gets a piece. Derek takes them from his hands and he follows him to the kitchen.
"How was your morning?" Derek asks him, setting the pies down on the island in the middle of his kitchen where more food was.
"My dad and I don't really... do Thanksgiving anymore." Stiles sighs and leans his body against the counter. Derek looks at him and crosses his arms. He nods like he knows exactly what Stiles is going through.
"This would be the first since Cora came back." Derek tells him.
"It's weird, isn't it?" Stiles asks. "Scott's always been one to bring people together but I never really thought everyone would agree to it."
"You'd be surprised at how much pack means to these kids." Derek shrugs and leans against the counter across from Stiles.
"I know this is supposed to be a nice occasion but I'm not really in the mood to get in a group circle and tell everyone what I'm thankful for." Stiles sighs. Derek smiles sadly and takes his hand because Cora and Isaac aren't paying any attention to them and no one has showed up yet.
"What are you thankful for, Stiles?" Derek asks, rubbing the top of Stiles hand with his thumb. He gets distracted by it, but not so distracted that he loses his train of thought.
"I guess I'm thankful that we're all still alive." Stiles says, honestly. It doesn't surprise Derek. Derek nods along with him and scoops him into a hug. He didn't know he needed it till his face was deep in Derek's neck. He knew that letting go was something that would happen, but he just squeezed tighter at the thought.
Derek's hand rubs up and down his back. The action brings tears to his eyes. That's exactly how his mother used to comfort him. He didn't show Derek that he was getting emotional, but he was sure Derek felt the wetness from the tears on his neck. It stopped him from rubbing Stiles back for a moment but then he just clenched tighter onto the teenager.
"I'm thankful for you." Stiles whispers.
Derek lets him go just enough so he can bring their lips together. It's one of Stiles' favorite forms of comfort from the older man. Derek doesn't take advantage of the situation. He keeps it light and chaste but how much he cares about Stiles, bleeds through.
"I don't mean to interrupt-" They were startled away from each other by someone catching them. "I figured when Isaac and Cora said the two of you were alone, I should be the one to come get you."
Lydia was blushing as she explained herself. She looked radiant and content. Her peacoat was still on and she was wearing this adorable white beanie with a large ball at the end of it. She looked happy to see them being so comfortable with one another. Stiles was also grateful that it was just her.
"Thanks Lyds." Stiles tells her.
"So she knows?" Derek asks softly.
"I told her." Stiles nods apologetically. Derek doesn't look angry, he looks understanding. He's fine with the idea of Lydia knowing about them. Stiles wished their relationship was something more worthy of the secret but he could only hope.
"Everyone's here now. I just thought you'd like to know. We're going to watch some movies soon." Lydia tells them. She graciously leaves them alone after that. Stiles goes to follow after her but Derek pulls him back.
"I'm thankful for you too, if that wasn't clear." Derek says.
"Message received." Stiles grins and pulls Derek to the main room behind him.
The pack makes him feel better. He laughs with them and it's genuine. He hasn't felt like this since before the new threat. Now if only they could get a lead on the Darach, maybe things would get better from here. He's learned that they can't exactly hope for the best though. There are many obstacles left before they can win this war. But they will win. They have to.
The pack leaves eventually and he ends up being left alone with Derek. Isaac goes home with Scott to watch over Scott's mom. Cora says she's going out to meet Peter because even though he's a pain in the ass, he's still family.
Stiles and Derek end up having sex in Derek's room. They barely make it to the bed before they start ripping clothes off. It's quick and emotionless, which is a change from all the peacefulness that happened only hours before. Stiles didn't mind though. Sometimes the sex just needed to be a little rougher than normal.
He lays with Derek for a while, knowing he has to get home soon. Derek plays with his fingers which are resting on his chest. Stiles can't stop smiling at the guy. He looks completely debauched and it's almost sinful. Derek's hair is sticking up everywhere and it makes him look so young and it makes Stiles happy.
It's weird that whenever he's with Derek, he gets this elated feeling. He knows it's probably bad to get trapped in a universe that consists of only them, especially with a serial killer on the loose. But he can't help it. Derek makes him feel things that he really shouldn't be feeling. Especially for someone so out of his league. Derek could break his heart.
Stiles gets up and starts putting on clothes. Some of them aren't his own but that may be on purpose. He likes wearing Derek's clothes. And he likes being able to smell what he can with his human nose of Derek and the detergent he uses. Derek pulls him back into bed, definitely not wanting him to leave. Stiles could definitely be talked into staying. But staying overnight is such a domestic thing to do and he doesn't know what waking up next to Derek would do to him.
"You could stay, you know." Derek murmurs into his open mouth. Stiles is so lost in how filthy Derek can kiss. He almost falls back into bed with him. "Why are you always running away?"
"I have places to be, Sourwolf. A dad to take care of." He tells him, leaving an ungodly kiss along Derek's jaw. "Besides, you have to earn the overnighter."
"You're lucky I'm willing to let you go." Derek sighs, as Stiles gets on his feet and tugs his Converse on.
"Happy Thanksgiving." Stiles smiles as he grabs his sweatshirt.
"To you too." Derek smiles back, showing his adorable bunny teeth. Stiles thinks in these moments, he's completely gone on Derek. But he takes a step back, and leaves it all behind once he's out the door.
After Thanksgiving, the days slowly drift into December and Christmas is approaching quicker than any of them expected. Deaton is taken one day and he calls Scott to alert him that he'll need help. It's scary, but Deaton ends up fine. Though while they were being distractedly saving Deaton, someone else was sacrificed.
It felt like when they thought they were a step ahead, they were really two steps behind. It was like this dark Druid, whoever they were, was playing mind games with them. Stiles was good at chess but this was definitely not a game that played between the lines. Or even had rules for that matter. With the anniversary of his mom's death quickly approaching as well, Stiles was unsure of how he was going to handle everything coming at him at once.
Derek's worried when Stiles doesn't show up to a pack meeting two weeks before Christmas. No one's acting like it means anything but with all the murders going on, he can't help but worry. He listens to Scott talk about something Deaton realized when he was taken but ends up tuning him out the rest of the time.
"Where's Stiles?" He suddenly asks because his curiosity is getting the best of him.
"He wasn't at school." Lydia says quietly. The pack -or at least, Scott, Allison, and Lydia- have somber looks on their faces. Like they know something and they're not sure how to tell him.
"Is he okay?" He asks, his heart stops beating for a moment. He has this strong urge of longing. It hasn't felt like anything had been wrong. Mates were supposed to be able to tell. But then again, he and Stiles weren't completely mated.
"It's the anniversary of his mom's death." Scott says, Erica and Boyd are a little surprised from the new information. The rest of the pack is expressionless. Lydia looks like she's being tortured. Allison may have a tear in her eye. She just lost her mom too.
"He likes to be alone." Lydia speaks up, her voice is strained. "We tried to get ahold of him. His dad said he hasn't left his bed all day."
"I've been best friends with Stiles since kindergarten. He hasn't let me near him ever on this day." Scott sighs. The amount of guilt and sadness in the room is suffocating. They all have something to be sad about. But this, it feels different.
The pack doesn't feel up to talking much. They leave soon after they came. Stiles shouldn't be left out of the meetings. Besides, there's not much new information. The Darach has been quiet since it finished off on the healers. It wasn't completely certain what it'd go for next. It'd already went through virgins, warriors, and healers. The only two left were philosophers and guardians.
Derek calls Stiles. Just to make sure he's alright. He's willing to go through any trouble to get what Stiles needs. His mating instincts are kicking in and he tries to tell himself that they shouldn't be. He's not in love with Stiles. He cares about him but for the bond to be complete, they both have to love each other. He's not there yet. And he should never be. He can never burden Stiles with this.
Stiles doesn't answer. Even after he calls the third time. He leaves a message, asking if the human is okay. He doesn't push too hard. He's not demanding Stiles to let him know how he's doing, he just wants him to know that he's there if he needs someone to talk to.
Cora ends up leaving the loft to go meet up with some friends she met at her job. She started working at a club a few weeks back. Derek didn't mind. She was trying to find her way back into Beacon Hills. They all should be finding a little normalcy in the town while things were so corrupt. Maybe that's what he was doing with Stiles.
He checks his phone frequently in case Stiles calls. When it's obvious that Stiles wants to be left alone, Derek puts on some sweats and does a few exercises to keep himself occupied. He does some pull ups and push ups but it's not distracting enough. He takes a shower when he gets too bored. He doesn't bother checking his phone after that.
After his shower he slips into some clean sweatpants and the long sleeve maroon shirt with the thumb holes that Stiles loves so much. He curls up on the couch and reads one of the books from his collection in his bedroom. Cora hasn't come back by the time midnight rolls around. Isaac is hanging out with Scott and Boyd, studying for some huge chemistry test tomorrow.
The loft has never felt so lonely. Even when Peter was around, it still felt like there was this constant in his life. He wonders if somehow he's pushed everyone away again. He can't really remember a time he let anyone in until Stiles came along. Stiles might know a little too much about him. But the way he feels about Stiles and the way Stiles makes him feel... it's safety. He feels safe again for the first time since the fire. Since Kate and Paige. He doesn't want to lose that.
He falls asleep by one in the morning. He loses his page in his book and just slips into oblivion. He's exhausted from his thoughts and hasn't really had a peaceful night in months. He's not surprised when he's woken up by pounding on the door at three in the morning. It startles him and he just about looks for a weapon before he realizes he has claws.
But it's probably just Cora who forgot her key again. He wishes she'd remember because then he could continue to sleep and not be afraid that someone's intruding. It's hard to get rid of that feeling though. Even after the alpha pack kept getting in and they got a security system. Derek never trusted the things meant to protect him. He was supposed to protect himself.
He reaches the door and is about to snap at Cora when he sees it's not actually who he thought it was. Stiles looks so small and pale in the small light reflecting from the window. He's drenched and it's clear that it's pouring outside but Derek hadn't even noticed. Stiles' eyes are red and holed in like he hasn't slept at all even though he's been in bed all day.
Derek's just about to invite him in when Stiles collapses into his arms. He hangs on to him and the only thing Derek can do is hug him back. He knows what's wrong with Stiles but he doesn't know what to do. Scott said Stiles has never seen anyone on the anniversary of his mom's death. What if he messes this all up?
"I went to her grave." Stiles tells him. He's not sure if Stiles is crying or if it's just the wetness from the rain. He squeezes Stiles' small and fragile frame tighter and doesn't speak. He lets Stiles take his time and come to terms with what he wants to say. He knows what it's like to lose people and not know how to cope with it.
Derek lets him go and walks him to the couch. He shuts the door and locks it because he doesn't want anyone getting in unexpectedly. He tells Stiles he's going to make coffee and Stiles just nods. When he comes back with two mugs, Stiles is shaking from his wet clothes.
Derek hands him the cup of coffee and Stiles takes it. He doesn't drink it and Derek isn't mad about it. He goes to the bathroom and gets a towel for Stiles to dry off, giving it to him before going up stairs to grab a change of clothes.
"Thank you." Stiles whispers. He just sits there with the towel wrapped around his back. He doesn't change his clothes or drink the coffee. Derek doesn't encourage him to talk but he knows he should ask.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks.
"Not really." Stiles laughs softly. "If that's okay."
"Whatever you need Stiles." Derek nods. He doesn't need Stiles to talk but he can talk for the both of them. He thinks that maybe Stiles will stop looking so dead inside if he talks about happy things. So that's exactly what he does.
"I had this stuffed wolf when I was a baby. I carried it around everywhere. My mom gave it to me. She said it would give me good luck. When I was ten, I still carried it with me wherever I went. I guess I shouldn't have been confused as to why people were making fun of me for that." Derek tells him. He smiles a little. He still remembers what it looked like. What it felt like in his tiny, grubby hands.
"What happened to it?" Stiles asks suddenly.
"Well, after I realized that was the reason I was made fun of, I hid it in the back of my closet. I forgot all about it until after I watched my house go up in flames. You know, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't for the life of me walk back in there to see what survived." Derek sighs. He lost so much that day. There were pictures and memories, erased into nothingness. He could never get things back to how they were supposed to be. "Once I did get the courage, I went back up to my room and looked for that damn stuffed wolf. And you know what? It was fine. It looked a little rough around the edges but out of everything that fire took from me, it didn't take that."
"So where is it now?" Stiles asks.
"In a vault with all my other family secrets. No one knows where the vault is and no one can get to that wolf." He says. That wolf is one good thing he has left of his mother.
Stiles smiles at him. He still looks so pale and sickly but he's genuinely smiling. As much as he can without it being too painful. Why are such beautiful things so terribly broken? Stiles is one person who is so pure for all he's been through, he doesn't deserve this. Derek can't smile back. He wants to cry, but he doesn't. He might as well not ruin the mood.
Stiles escapes to the bathroom and comes back with dry clothes. He apologizes for coming by so late but Derek can't be burdened. He suggests they go upstairs so Stiles can get some actual rest. They both look like they need it. Derek swaps the coffee for some water since Stiles wouldn't touch his.
He finds Stiles perched at the end of his bed, staring at the pages of a book he'd left out. When he approaches him, Stiles takes the water bottles and sets them down. He pulls Derek towards him by the neck of his shirt and they're suddenly locking lips. The intensity shocks Derek at first. He doesn't know how to react. But then instincts kick in and he's kissing Stiles back while being straddled at the end of his bed.
Stiles pulls him down so he's not bending at an awkward angle and he slides further onto the bed, not to the headboard yet. Derek follows him, trying not to break the trance Stiles has him in. But he comes to his senses and stops kissing Stiles back which only makes Stiles try harder to get him to do something.
"Stiles, stop." Derek tells him, pushing him away just slightly. He doesn't want to offend Stiles and make him think that he's unwanted, but he doesn't feel comfortable doing this.
"Why'd you stop?" Stiles asks, he's only slightly out of breath. He stops breathing when he kisses Derek and doesn't break away for air. Derek, is fine however with his werewolf abilities to help him out.
"I don't think we should do this." Derek tells him. "You're vulnerable. I don't want to take advantage of you."
"Please, do this for me." Stiles almost begs him. He slowly gets closer to Derek and places a gentle kiss on the corner of his jaw. Derek wants to refuse but it's pointless, so he takes the bait.
Stiles lays down so Derek can climb on top of him and get more leverage. He locks Stiles in, his arms on either sides of the boy's head. Stiles looks so beautiful in the light from outside the window. The moon reflects on his skin and makes him look like he's glowing. Derek hadn't even noticed the storm outside until lightning filters through the room.
He slowly brings his lips to Stiles' again and makes the kisses long and searing. Stiles has to catch his breath in between each one and every time his eyes are slightly lidded. He closes them while they're kissing but when Derek stops, he opens them just enough to see why. He doesn't know how Stiles does this to him. How he's so willing to do anything he's asked.
Stiles gets impatient with Derek when all he keeps it to is mouth to mouth. He rakes his hands up Derek's back, underneath his shirt. Derek knows he wants him to take it off and he still isn't sure if this is the right thing to do. Stiles was so emotional before this. He hadn't even talked to Derek about what was going on. They all had different ways of coping though.
He sits back on his heels so he can pull his arms out of the sleeves of his shirt and pull it off by the neck. Stiles is happy to see Derek removing clothing. He doesn't take the step to do it himself though. His fingers trail down Derek's pecs to his belt buckle. Stiles pulls him closer when he reaches his hips. They start kissing again.
Stiles flips them over and straddles Derek. He uses his tongue to lick patterns across his chest and suck marks into his skin. Derek's head shoots back against the pillows when Stiles sucks a nipple into his mouth. It's always been a weakness for him in the bedroom. He also has a weak spot on his left hip that Stiles totally knows about, which is why he's taking his time to reach it.
He's drawing the pleasure out of Derek, taking his time to get him completely blissed out. Derek sits up so he can remove Stiles' borrowed t-shirt from his body. Stiles only minds the distraction for a second before he's mouthing at Derek's neck, trying to get the attention off of him. Stiles is still uncomfortable when Derek undresses him and for the life of him, he can't understand why.
Derek lays Stiles down so their heads are where their feet usually go. Stiles doesn't like the way Derek stares at him and his naked skin. He tries to sit up, kiss Derek, run fingers down his body, but nothing draws Derek's attention away from the boy underneath him.
"You are-"
"I swear to god if you say beautiful I will-"
"I was going to say breathtaking, but that too." Derek nods, smiling cheekily at the wrecked human below him. Stiles looks away shyly. Derek tilts his head back up so he can look into Stiles' eyes. "I don't understand why you think so low of yourself."
"I'm nothing special, Derek." Stiles tells him, huffing at the persistence Derek is giving him.
"I beg to differ." Derek shakes his head, leaning down to kiss Stiles' moles. There are so many dots that he doesn't know where to start. But it's one thing he can't get enough of about Stiles.
Stiles is easily distracted by Derek sucking a hickey into his neck. He doesn't even tell Derek to put it somewhere he can easily hide it. And Derek is definitely not thinking about hiding anything on Stiles while he wants to get rid of more clothes. Stiles oddly senses that and undoes the ties that are holding Derek's sweatpants up. Derek easily kicks them off and tosses them next to the bed.
Stiles takes his time before taking off his borrowed sweatpants. He likes touching Derek's legs. His thighs are ungodly and sinful. When Derek gets him out of his clothes, his legs just look like toothpicks. Stiles can't understand what Derek sees in that. But he's obviously attracted to him.
Derek sits down on the bed and pulls Stiles into his lap by his legs. Stiles effortlessly wraps his legs around Derek's waist. Derek then, turns them around so Stiles' head drops onto a pillow when he lays them down. They're slowly grinding up against one another even with the weird angle. Derek rubs up and down his thighs as he swirls his tongue into Stiles' mouth. Stiles is entranced and out of breath. He can't remember why this day was so bad in the first place.
Derek unexpectedly pulls Stiles boxers down his legs and throws them into the darkness of the room. He removes his own only moments later. This is the part Stiles likes, skin on skin. He's incredibly hard and so is Derek as their cocks slide together. He knows what comes next and he's just waiting for Derek to make the first move. Neither of them want foreplay.
Derek reaches over to the bedside table for lube and a condom. Stiles takes that as his opportunity to flip over onto his stomach because that's how they always do it. He's not in the mood to ride Derek.
"No." Derek says, before Stiles is completely on his stomach. He flips him back so he is totally on his back. Stiles is really confused. He's sure Derek wants to have sex with him. That's what all of this was leading up to. "Like this. I want to see you."
Stiles gulps. He feels the nerves start to kick in as he nods his head. He's never done this before but he knows that with women, this is how it's supposed to be done. This position is so incredibly intimate and that's never something they have been. Stiles wants it, he doesn't understand why Derek wants it though.
"I trust you." Stiles tells him in almost a whisper.
You don't trust me. I don't trust you.
Derek doesn't know how they've gotten so far into this. How their opinions of each other have changed so much in the past few years. They never really liked each other. Never could trust that the other was doing something that could benefit both of them. Derek is glad to hear the words come out of Stiles' mouth because he feels them too.
Derek, the gentleman he is, pulls the sheets over them and puts a pillow underneath Stiles' back for better support. Stiles also knows from research that for men, this position can be kind of straining. But he wants to try it, because Derek wants to. He goes along with it every step of the way. Derek seems so focused on this. Focused on making it good for him, like the first time.
Stiles fists his hands in the sheets next to him as Derek fingers him. He feels like they haven't done this in forever though it's probably only been a week, maybe a little longer. They've been more discreet about when and where they have sex. No one goes in Derek's room so they aren't completely worried by Peter's warning.
Derek pulls out of him soon after he tells him he's good. It doesn't take long for Derek to slide into him. He knows immediately how uncomfortable the position he's in is when Derek's balls deep in him. He doesn't move for a few moments because Stiles stops breathing. He doesn't feel like there's any air that can enter his lungs. It feels painfully good and he can only tell Derek to move by moving himself. Adjusting.
Derek starts out slow and doesn't even cringe as Stiles' nails dig into his back. He's holding on to him so tightly that he's even pained by it. He lets go because he doesn't want to injure Derek, even though he heals quicker than wounds can be made. Derek's hands are holding onto his thighs but he lets go of one to intertwine his hand with one of Stiles'. Stiles squeezes on to it and lays it above his head.
He's staring so deeply into Derek's eyes that he doesn't realize he's tearing up. He's not sad, he's far from it. He just feels really good about this. Derek makes him feel the way he wants to when he's able to forget what's really keeping them together. They don't do the emotions thing, but Stiles feels everything so intensely and tries to see something in Derek too. He doesn't know if it's wishful thinking but he thinks he might see what he feels in Derek's eyes.
Derek kisses him. They're both exhausted but every time their foreheads touch, Derek leans in to take his mind off what the rest of their bodies are doing. Stiles loves Derek's lips more than anything and he loves the way he breathes him in. It's all intimate. There's no way you could feel nothing while doing something like this.
Derek gets a hand on Stiles' cock and starts pumping up and down so he can reach his climax. Stiles is not ready for this to end and he thinks Derek knows that, so he takes it slow and draws it out for as long as he can. Derek's thrusts get out of rhythm quickly and he reaches Stiles' prostate.
Stiles lets out what almost sounds like a scream. Derek's afraid he's done something to hurt Stiles but he doesn't smell pain, he smells pleasure. So Derek keeps going. Moving his body and his hand and Stiles reaches his climax in minutes. He throws his head back into the pillows and doesn't move another inch.
Derek comes a few thrusts later and almost collapses on top of Stiles. He pulls out, disposes of the condom, and curls around Stiles who is still laying there in ecstasy. Stiles is verbal about everything but at the moment, he looks to be completely speechless. He just stares at the ceiling with this high look on his face.
He eventually looks at Derek and smiles. He leans over from where he is lying to kiss Derek. He's incredibly exhausted but does it anyway and then collapses against Derek's side. Derek wraps an arm around his shoulders and with his free hand, intertwines his fingers with the ones Stiles is resting on his chest.
He's waiting for Stiles to leave. Because he usually relaxes for a few minutes before saying he has to go. That's just how it is every time and he won't be surprised if Stiles leaves even though it's four in the morning. His excuse could be that he has school in the morning. Derek won't take offense, he just wants Stiles to stay in his bed for once without running away.
"It looks kind of bad out there." Stiles says, glancing out the window. He lays his head back down and looks at Derek. "Not very good driving conditions."
"I wouldn't want you to drive in that." Derek agrees, but he can see out the window. It's not raining anymore.
"If you sent me away and I got into an accident, it'd be all your fault." Stiles says, continuing the joke. Derek smiles at him and kisses his forehead. He wouldn't let Stiles go even if he begged him.
"I guess you'll just have to stay then."
Stiles smiles back and closes his eyes. Derek was happy to see that Stiles was comfortable with staying the night. He wasn't worrying about his dad or what would happen in the morning. All Derek wanted, was to fall asleep with the person he cared about the most. The man -not boy- he was falling in love with. His mate.
"You know, I haven't completely forgotten the world around us yet." Stiles tells him in a low whisper. "Maybe, if either of us are taken hostage at some point in the near or distant future, we should come up with a code word or phrase to alert each other if we'd be walking into a trap."
"Why were you thinking about that?" Derek chuckles.
"Because I'm usually the one being taken hostage. And I don't want you or anyone else for that matter, to walk into a trap and get hurt." Stiles sighs.
Derek agrees and tells Stiles exactly that. He leaves it to Stiles to come up with their code phrase. Stiles can't come up with anything natural on the spot so he asks for some time to think. Minutes pass by and Stiles' breathing evens out. Derek thinks he's fallen asleep so he himself tries shutting his eyes to get some sleep as well.
"I love you." Stiles says into the darkness of the night, which is actually morning now.
Derek's heart stops.
"That should be the code phrase." Stiles adds. Derek's heart drops, but it starts beating again. "I mean, in every romance known to man, the villain always falls for the two main characters genuinely being in love and not having a back up plan."
"Yeah." Derek agrees, his voice is strained.
Stiles falls asleep after that. But Derek is kept up by the words that had fallen out of Stiles' no filter of a mouth. He believed Stiles for a minute. But it was all for pretend. Stiles would never feel that way for Derek. And that was the last thought on his mind before he fell asleep too.
Stiles wakes up the next morning warm and oddly, very well rested. His eyes flutter open to see Derek staring at him with hooded eyes. Stiles sighs and buries his head back into Derek's pillows. He thinks he should tell Derek everything that was running through his mind before he showed up earlier that morning.
"You're still here." Derek says in disbelief.
"I didn't want to leave." Stiles confesses, sitting up. He knows he's still naked and the air in the apartment is chilled but he moves away from his heat source anyway. His back his facing Derek while he runs his fingers through his hair.
"Are you okay?" Derek asks, leaning up so he's a closer presence behind Stiles. Stiles can feel Derek press light kisses to his shoulder as he wraps his arms around the teenager's waist.
"I'm okay now." Stiles nods.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really." Stiles sighs, glancing back to look at Derek. Their lips slide together and they fall back into bed and make out for a while.
Stiles notices it's around noon when he tries to bring himself back to reality. He tries so hard to stop kissing Derek but he doesn't have the will power. They eventually wind down and lazily kiss each other every few seconds until Stiles finally stops. He just stares at Derek who gently caresses Stiles' face with his fingers.
"My dad drank himself to sleep last night." Stiles finally says. "I don't think either of us know how to deal with her death very well."
"I hadn't done anything irrational until after Laura died. I got into a bar fight the year after her death. Almost killed the guy too because he wouldn't back down." Derek sighs. "As long as you're not murderous, I think your coping mechanisms are better than mine by a long shot."
"Thanks for last night." Stiles says, taking the hand that Derek still had rubbing his face.
"I was surprised to see you. Scott said you never see anyone on the anniversary."
"I needed to see you." Stiles admits and looks away. Like he's said something he probably shouldn't.
"I'm always here if you need me." Derek says seriously. Stiles just smiles at him.
They lay in bed the rest of the day for the most part. They get up to shower together and eat but even when they're fully clothed, they end up back in bed. Derek reads to himself while Stiles takes a nap. With all the sleep Stiles didn't get, Derek was definitely okay with letting him get the rest he deserved.
He heads downstairs after a while to grab some coffee when he hears heartbeats outside the door. He takes his mug of coffee and stands in the main room. He senses that Cora's out there. He doesn't need to open the door for them. She's got a key. He has a moment to panic about Stiles being in his room but it diminishes when he realizes this is what an alpha does for a pack member.
"Derek." Cora greets him and the rest of the pack walk inside, they all look slightly off the rails. They look like they've been worrying. They smell like it too.
"Have you seen Stiles?" Scott asks. He has wide eyes and he's rubbing his hands together because he's nervous. "His dad said he wasn't home this morning and we've been searching for him. He hasn't been answering his phone."
"He's upstairs." Derek nods. "Why didn't you call me first? I could have told you he came over here early this morning."
"He came here?" Cora asks.
"How early this morning?" Scott asks.
"I think around three." Derek shrugs. "He was soaking wet from the rain and he wasn't alright so I talked him down from panicking. He slept till noon and he woke up for a little while but he's taking a nap now."
"That's weird." Jackson huffs. Like Stiles confiding in Derek is a strange occurrence.
"He's okay. I'll let him know you all stopped by." Derek says, going back towards the stairs. Everyone wasn't leaving though but Derek didn't mind. They were worried about Stiles. They could stay as long as they didn't venture into his bedroom.
Stiles is still peacefully asleep when he enters his room again. Derek couldn't ask for a better view than that.
Christmas approaches quickly. Stiles does his Christmas shopping in one day. He buys a gift for everyone in the pack, his dad, and Melissa. He's still stumped on what to get Derek so he doesn't bother yet. He still has time. A few days, but still there's time.
He's sitting on Derek's couch when he realizes they haven't really talked about what they're doing for the holidays. The loft doesn't look festive at all. They don't even have a tree. It's a little depressing but Stiles refrains from expressing how he feels about it. Christmas is probably another holiday that the Hales don't exactly celebrate anymore.
"Any plans for Christmas?" Stiles asks him.
"Uh... Cora got invited to Christmas dinner held by the pack she was with in South America and Isaac is going to the McCall's." Derek tells him. He seems a little distracted and doesn't even look up from his book.
"That's nice, but I meant you." Stiles says, getting up from his spot to sit on the coffee table in front of Derek's seat on the couch.
"Me? I was just planning on staying in. Ordering takeout or something." He shrugs.
"Come spend Christmas with my dad and I." Stiles says quickly. "No one should be alone of Christmas."
"Won't he think it's weird that we're friends?" Derek asks.
"Good point." Stiles nods. "Well, he usually ends up having to leave for an unexpected shift at the station. Why don't you come keep me company once he leaves?"
"Stiles-"
"Please Derek. I'm not taking no for an answer. You'll be doing me a favor. I always make way too much food and end up watching stupid Christmas movies by the fire, alone." Stiles begs him, taking both his hands so his attention is all on Stiles. Derek ends up agreeing by sighing and nodding his head. Stiles counts it as a definite victory.
The next couple days, he ends up trying to plan everything perfectly. He's making a lunch for his dad and him and he'll save enough for Derek when he comes by. Derek even asks if there's anything he can bring. Stiles' answer is alcohol, which Derek denies right away but he's not completely bummed about it. Other than that, he's got everything covered.
His house looks like elves puked on it. He always had a knack for decorating the house with his mom. That tradition didn't really stop even though he was on his own. Stiles' dad helped a little but he never knew where Stiles liked to put things so he backed off and let his son do it himself.
Stiles and his dad had a good Christmas brunch and they hang out in the living room and watch A Christmas Story because it was his mom's favorite. They had a thing for keeping traditions alive for her benefit. No matter how painful bringing up the memories could be. Especially with the anniversary of her death so close to Christmas. Stiles will never understand why she was taken away before she could enjoy one last one.
His dad has tears in his eyes by the end of the movie. Seeing his old man so emotional makes Stiles super emotional. They have a long talk that consists of reminding each other of their favorite things she'd do around the holidays. Even though it's been years, it feels like days. His dad comforts him by wrapping an arm around his shoulders and letting Stiles lean his head against his.
It sucks when his dad is called in for an emergency. People do dumb shit during the holidays. They think they're invincible. Since his dad's the sheriff, he always has to clean up their messes. Sometimes Stiles wishes that his dad didn't have such a huge responsibility weighing over his shoulders. He deserved to relax and find a job that didn't give him so much stress.
He cleans up the house a little, waiting for Derek to show up. He half expects to see him walk down the stairs because he'd entered through the window. But it's just Stiles, setting up the kitchen table with leftovers. He stands in the middle of the kitchen for a few minutes. He doesn't know why but it feels like he's making such a big deal about this evening.
He hears a knock on the door and quickly looks at himself in a mirror before going to answer it. He still looks like he'd been crying previously. Not attractive at all. He was wearing jeans and a nice sweater to look attractive. His face wasn't helping his case at all. He goes to the door anyway and when he sees Derek, all his nerves filter out of his body.
"Hey." Derek smiles. When Stiles doesn't answer, Derek awkwardly stands there. It's just, Derek dressed up for the occasion too. He's wearing khakis -something he's never seen Derek wear- and a dark blue dress shirt. He looks like a young, twenty year old college kid. He even trimmed his beard.
"Uh..." Stiles blushes and snaps out of his trance. "You look nice."
"Thanks." Derek smiles timidly. He's not really good at accepting compliments. "So do you."
"Oh, I just threw something on." Stiles blush deepens at the lie. He put an effort into trying to look good. "I'm sorry, come in."
He moves aside so Derek can walk past him. He mentions food being warm if Derek's hungry. Derek heads to the kitchen at that. He also hands Stiles a tin of what looks like a pie. Stiles takes it with a confused look on his face. He hadn't asked Derek to bring a pie.
"Peter said it would be polite to bring something." Derek says shyly.
"You're talking to Peter about us?" Stiles asks, chuckling. He can't even imagine how those conversations would go.
"Um, no. He came by earlier when I was getting ready. He thought we could spend some time together but I said I had plans. He figured the rest out from there." Derek explains himself nervously. He has absolutely no idea why Derek is acting so sheepish. This is the guy he has rough sex with on occasion. He lets it slip past him for the night though.
"So, I have plenty of food. You can help yourself to whatever you'd like." Stiles gestures to the table. Derek takes a seat and waits for Stiles to sit across from him before he starts digging in.
They talk about random things from Stiles' school work to Derek's time in New York. They learn things about each other that they'd never told anyone. Derek tells him a bunch of stories about the trouble Laura and he used to get into as kids. It's obvious how much he misses her.
When Derek talks about New York, it's clear he misses his life there too. Or maybe he just misses the safety he had when he was there. He still had his sister and when he came back here, he lost her. Stiles wonders what's keeping Derek around other than his sister and his tiny pack. Stiles is ready to leave the minute he graduates.
Derek eats a lot and after, he helps Stiles wash dishes and clean up. Derek's not bad at drying dishes and Stiles commends him for that. They joke around and give each other quick, unexpected kisses in the middle of their conversations. They eventually end up in the living room and Stiles puts on the Christmas movies his dad and him hadn't gotten to.
Derek helpfully gets a fire started in the fireplace across from the couch. The temperature did drop a little because of the winter months. It was odd that it never snowed in Beacon Hills. Stiles' mom used to drive him out of state to see the snow fall somewhere else. He misses those memories. He doesn't mention it to Derek.
Derek and him curl up on the couch and make out while the fire is blazing next to them. Stiles feels content even though he's pained by the nostalgia he's been feeling all day. Derek lays on top of him while he's squished between the alpha werewolf and the cushions of the couch. Their clothes aren't coming off but Stiles is completely okay with how things are going.
"I have a question." Stiles says, breaking the long kiss Derek's left on his lips. Derek just puts his lips to use by sucking on Stiles' neck. But he hums to let Stiles know that he's listening.
"STDs and male pregnancies aren't a thing when having unprotected sex with a werewolf, are they?" Stiles asks and Derek immediately sits up.
"Maybe we shouldn't be having sex at all if you don't know basic anatomy and health facts." Derek tells him.
"I mean, male humans can't get pregnant but they can get STDs and I don't know if it's different for werewolves. I've read things on the Internet." Stiles continues. He's totally ruining the mood.
"I'm going to break your computer." Derek tells him.
"I don't have any condoms left." Stiles tells him.
"That's why you're worried? Because you want to have sex with me without protection." Derek sighs like he's having sex with an idiot. Which, point taken, Stiles can be an idiot sometimes. So he nods his head and blushes. "Well, no. You can't get an STD or pregnant. But I always come prepared."
Derek pulls a condom packet out of his back pocket and tosses it at Stiles' face.
"Not that I'm willing to have sex with you anyway now." Derek huffs.
"Do were-babies turn you off?" Stiles laughs, sitting up to rest his forehead against Derek's.
"No." Derek sighs, running his hands over Stiles' belly.
"You want that, don't you?" Stiles whispers. It breaks his heart when he sees how affectionately Derek is rubbing his stomach.
"A family? Who wouldn't." Derek nods, not being able to meet Stiles' eyes.
"Want to pretend to make a baby with me?" Stiles grins, trying to lighten the mood. Derek looks at him and all he sees is how much Derek wants.
"What would your father say?" Derek gives him a little crooked smile.
They don't have sex. They make out a little again but the mood is kind of somber. Stiles realizes he can't give Derek what he wants. He can't grow a ten pound fetus in his stomach. He's not a woman. And maybe that's what Derek wants.
"I got you something." He says softly, leaving the couch to get Derek his wrapped gift.
"So did I." Derek says, taking a thin package from his khaki pocket.
When Derek opens his, he gets this happy glint in his eyes and he kisses the smile right off Stiles' mouth. He got Derek a leather bound journal. Once when they had nothing to talk about, Derek told him some of the things he lost in the fire. He said his dad got him the journal so he could talk about his family or write about things he didn't want to forget.
"This is perfect." Derek tells him. He hands his gift to Stiles. It's wrapped so delicately that he can't believe Derek could have wrapped it.
He opens it to reveal a key. And fuck. He thinks he knows exactly what the key is to.
"Stiles, breathe. It's a key to the loft, not an engagement ring." Derek tells him.
"Do you want to give me one of those too?" Stiles jokes, heart beating quicker.
"You're around so much that I thought you having a key would be easier for both of us." Derek shrugs. "Is it too cheesy?"
"You're lucky I love cheese." Stiles smiles and kisses Derek's cheek after thanking him.
Stiles felt it then. Harder than he felt it the night of the anniversary of his mom's death. He needed to run from it. But not yet. He needed to revel in it before he buried it deep down.
Derek, Cora, and Peter disappear over the New Year without telling anyone where they're headed. Stiles half expects to receive a text from Derek saying that everything is okay and they'd be back soon, but it never happened. He doesn't really know what to do with himself since the night he had with Derek on Christmas. He was starting to feel something different for the werewolf than just affection.
Lydia can see he's worried about his friend, and gets him out of the house. They end up at a club with Danny. The rest of the pack is supposed to show up later but Lydia wanted to get a head start. They start the night sitting at a table and take a few shots to get their blood pumping. It doesn't take effect right away and they all just wait for something exciting to happen.
Danny gets whisked away by Ethan who shows up unexpectedly with Aiden. Aiden had a thing for Lydia even though she was with Jackson. She eventually gave in to his requests to dance with her. Stiles was left alone for a long time. A waiter came by and he ordered a beer. He watched Lydia and Danny have fun while he sat and continuously checked his phone for a message from Derek.
"You seem lonely." Someone says from across his table. He has to look up from his phone to see who could be bothering him. It's Theo. The guy that kissed him in the locker room that one day everyone learned he wasn't a virgin.
"Oh, hey." Stiles awkwardly says, putting his phone down. The waiter comes by and hands him his beer. Theo takes a seat next to him.
"What's a guy like you doing at a club like this?" He asks.
"I got dragged into hanging out with my friends." Stiles shrugs, checking his phone again. He's texted Derek at least five times now.
"Relationship troubles?" Theo asks, gesturing towards Stiles' phone.
"Uh... I wouldn't really call it a relationship but yeah." Stiles nods.
"You should put the phone away and get out on the dance floor." Theo suggests, getting up to follow his own advice.
"Trust me when I say, it's better for everyone this way."
"Whatever you say Stiles." He chuckles and walks away. Stiles feels a little weird about the whole conversation. He thinks Theo might be trying to hit on him. Especially when he sees him staring from the dance floor. Stiles makes it his mission to not look at Theo for the rest of the night.
The pack shows up at least an hour later. Erica and Boyd immediately go to the dance floor, per Erica's request. Allison and Scott take a seat next to him and order drinks. Jackson marches to the dance floor and takes Lydia away from Aiden even though Lydia wants to make her own choices. Isaac comes in last and takes a seat on the other side of Stiles. He's been acting a little weird recently. Stiles doesn't care though, he's been competing with Isaac for Scott's friendship anyway. It's not like he needs to help the guy out.
His friends all end up on the dance floor on and off all night. They're all pretty drunk but Stiles had been nursing his first and only beer since they'd gotten there. Isaac looks just as uncomfortable to be there as he is. Especially when the TVs are tuned into the ball drop and couples are getting ready to kiss and make out. He doesn't want to be around for that.
When there's a minute left, Stiles exits the club and wanders around the front entrance. It's cold outside and he regrets leaving his sweatshirt at the table but isn't in the mood to go back and get it. He stands out there for what seems like hours but is only actually a few minutes. He feels exhausted, not just physically but mentally too. He's been thinking too much about Derek.
"Stiles." Lydia calls out to him. Suddenly she's at his side. He won't look at her. He knows what she'll say. "What are you doing out here?"
"Too much testosterone in there for me to handle." Stiles shrugs and looks up at the sky. It's oddly barren. No stars are out and the moon is just a sliver.
"What's going on? You and Isaac have looked like kicked puppies all night." She says, squeezing his arm. He looks at her finally because he's distracted by the jingly noise of her bracelets.
"Why's Isaac in such a bad mood?" Stiles asks to get the subject off him. He could care less about Isaac's problems but he didn't want to talk about his own.
"That's beside the point. You look exactly the same as he does." Lydia points out. Like they're having the same problems.
"I'm exhausted and drunk."
"This has nothing to do with that. You've had one beer the whole night. And you've been acting this way since we came. Is this about Derek being gone?" She asks. He doesn't want to tell her. But she asks so many questions and it breaks him down.
"He hasn't called." Stiles sighs.
"Don't take it personally. He hasn't called anyone. Not even Scott." Lydia tells him. She also tells him that Cora probably would have said something too if it wasn't that important.
"It's just... we had sex."
"I thought you've been having sex."
"We have but... Lydia, it was different this time." Stiles tells her. He looks away and into the ally. There's people making out and some girl giving a guy a blow job. He looks back at Lydia when he sees someone puking.
"Different how?" She asks.
"I've been feeling something for a while now that I haven't been able to explain. After we slept together that night, and then he gave me a key to his apartment, I knew what it was. And I've been failing at talking myself out of it." Stiles takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. "I'm in love with him."
"Oh god." Lydia gasps.
"What?" Stiles asks, regretting ever saying anything at all.
"You need to tell him." Lydia says, smacking his arm.
"Are you kidding me? He doesn't feel the same way!" Stiles shakes his head and paces back and forth.
"Stiles, trust me. Either way, you've gotten yourself in too deep. You need to do something about it."
"You know what? He's not even here. I'm not going to make any irrational decisions when he's not even in town." Stiles tells her but continues to pace around anyway.
"You know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder." She stops him and gives him an award winning smile. He hates when she tries to be nice. She's at least fifty percent evil.
"You're not helping." Stiles scolds her. He tries to go back inside but she stops him.
"Do you know what this means?" She asks.
"No."
"It means, Isaac is in love with someone too!" She exclaims. As if on cue Isaac is running out of the club with Scott trailing behind and then the rest of the pack. It's always alpha McCall to the rescue.
Stiles follows Scott home that night. Everyone has gone to their respective houses but Stiles wants to get in on what happened. Isaac is obviously upset about something. Scott has to have the juice on everything. He always knows the secrets of the whole pack. It's odd that Stiles has referred to Derek and Scott's packs as one recently. It's just the way things have been going, they've been brought close together.
Scott's mom lets him in when he arrives. She tells him that Scott seems upset about something and won't talk to her. She's glad she's in the loop about the supernatural now, but Stiles thinks that Scott still leaves her out of his personal life. Which is obviously more important than the fantasy he's living.
"Scott, buddy? Can I come in?" Scott opens the door and Stiles shuts it behind him. Scott sits on his bed and curls his legs up to rest his chin on his knees. That definitely means there's something wrong. Scott's not smiling. "What's going on Scotty?"
"Isaac kissed me." Scott mumbles. Stiles has to do a double take at the information he's been given.
"Shit. You're who Isaac's in love with?" Stiles asks, eyes wide.
"What? He's not in love with me." Scott shakes his head.
"Scott, he follows you around and does whatever you ask. I'm pretty sure he's in love-"
"Stop!" Scott growls. "Isaac doesn't know how he feels. He's just confused. He likes girls."
"Even if he doesn't like you, he does like guys. You don't just go around kissing guys unless it's something you want to do or something you're trying to figure out." Stiles scoffs. It kind of sounds like Scott's being a little homophobic.
"I'm not saying he can't, I'm just saying that... none of my friends are gay, okay?" Scott says quickly.
"Scott, I'm bisexual." Stiles says, raising an eyebrow. He doesn't know how Scott couldn't have noticed. He doesn't exactly express it but he has eyes.
"What? No you're not." Scott says, confused. "How would you know that?"
"Because I lost my virginity to-" Stiles pauses, because he can't say Derek. "To a guy."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Scott's suddenly offended by his existence and he doesn't know what to tell the guy.
"Maybe because of the way you're reacting right now. Scott, things aren't always black and white." Stiles sighs.
"Are you still seeing this guy?"
"It's complicated." Stiles paces around Scott's room. He doesn't feel comfortable sitting down. Scott just stares at him and he feels like he's being interrogated. Scott just figured out he had a thing for guys, he should let that settle in first.
"Oh god. Is it Isaac? That's why it's complicated, because he likes me?" Scott panics and Stiles immediately drives the thought out of his head. There is no way he would ever be in a secret relationship with Isaac. Even though he is kind of attractive now that Stiles thinks about it, but back to the point. He's in love with Derek.
"No! Get that thought out of your head right now. You know I'm barely getting along with the guy because he's inseparable from you." Stiles says, rubbing fingers through his hair in a repeated motion like that will fix this mess of a conversation.
"I can't believe you didn't tell me you liked guys." Scott says. Of course that has to be the one thing he focuses on. Not the fact that Isaac may or may not be in love with him.
"I'm sorry, does that make you uncomfortable Scott?" Stiles asks, glaring at his best friend. "You haven't exactly been here for me the past couple of months!"
"Stiles, come on I-"
"Shut up Scott!" Stiles yells. "I have devoted my life to you ever since you became a werewolf. I'm living a life I don't want, to protect you! You're my best friend but you've been so crappy at it lately."
"I'm sorry about that Stiles but we've all had other things on our minds!" Scott yells back. That stings because it's true. Stiles hasn't really participated in their friendship either.
"Okay." Stiles nods. "But back to the real reason I came here. I think you should figure things out with Isaac. Don't break the guys heart. Let him down easy."
"I don't think I'm ready to accept anything right now." Scott tells him, standing up from his bed. He made it seem like he had to check to make sure that the floor was still there. Like he had to make sure he could make it past this.
"Is that to all this in general, or my sexuality?" Stiles asks softly. He doesn't want an answer but he asks anyway.
"Both maybe." Scott sighs. "I think maybe you should go. Maybe we just need some space from each other for a while."
"You know what, screw you Scott." Stiles huffs and storms out of Scott's room. He doesn't even stop when Melissa calls out his name.
He's walking back to the jeep when he sees Isaac standing in the darkness, walking up to Scott's porch. He runs over to him and pushes him back. He'd just been to hell and back with his best friend. Everything Scott would say now would be against better judgement because he was hurt.
"Isaac, you need to give him some space right now." He says, holding the beta back.
"I have to apologize." Isaac shakes his head and brushes past Stiles.
"He's going to say something he's going to regret. He's not in a good place at the moment. It's my fault." Stiles tells him, yanking him back.
"Stiles, you don't understand. I screwed up." Isaac tells him.
"By kissing him?"
"He told you about that?"
"Isaac, I know you're in love with him." Stiles scoffs but Isaac just looks offended. He starts walking back into the darkness. Stiles runs after him.
"Did you tell him you're sleeping with Derek?" Isaac asks.
"You know?" Stiles asks.
"Stiles, I live in the loft. You guys may think you're sneaky, but not from me." Isaac shrugs. "And I know you're worried about him but he'll be alright."
Isaac starts walking off again. Stiles just about lets him go. But Isaac is giving him some advice. Maybe he should give some to the guy. Or not. Stiles has a battle with himself because the guy is still trying to steal his best friend. Not from him now, but Allison. Scott's an idiot though and won't know what to do with the information.
"Hey Isaac, he'll come around." Stiles calls out.
Isaac doesn't turn around but Stiles is sure he heard it. That's all that matters.
Stiles doesn't like to study at his house. He's alone most of the time and usually when people don't want distractions, he thinks there's not enough. He usually studies at Derek's loft, he even has a key to do so. It doesn't feel right without Derek actually around though. He still hasn't received any kind of message from the guy.
So since he and Scott aren’t doing well and he doesn’t want to bother Lydia, he goes to the only diner in town. He doesn’t really hang around there anymore. He used to go a lot as a kid with his parents. His mom was really good friends with the owner and all the workers knew Stiles’ name. Sometimes his dad ordered takeout from there but they never eat in. The last time he was there was with Lydia.
Stiles takes a booth and one of the newer waitresses takes his order. She doesn’t know who he is an he’s grateful that she doesn’t ask about his personal life. He knows Julie, the other waitress, is dying to ask him everything she’s missed. He very pointedly avoids her gaze and gets to work on his school assignments. They have first semester exams coming up and he hasn’t studied at all for any of them. Since he’s a senior, he can per out of most of them but English isn’t an exception.
Miss Blake has them all working on a book from the 20th century. Stiles chose Gone With the Wind. He doesn’t know what he was thinking at the time he chose it because it was over one thousand pages. He’d gotten through five hundred so far and he only had a week left to finish it. Plus, he had to come up with a whole report for it. He started reading and taking notes while waiting for his food to arrive.
He ended up distracted by other work that had to be done. He finished his history work in twenty minutes and tried studying for his French test for the next day. He wasn’t very good with that language, he only took the class because Lydia suggested it to him. Spanish was enough his freshman and sophomore year, this was just torture. By the time his burger and fries show up, he starts reading Margaret Mitchell’s book again. He zones out so much that he doesn’t notice the shadow of a person in front of him.
“I didn’t think I’d see you here.” The gruff voice above him speaks.
He glances up and is shocked to see a broody werewolf staring patiently at him. He’s so shocked to see Derek that he has no idea what to say, he just continues to stare and let his mouth hang wide open. He scrambles to stand up and drops his book in the process. When he picks it up, Derek is grinning at him.
Stiles takes this as his opportunity to get mad at the guy for leaving without telling anyone were he was going. He ends up socking Derek in the arm which hurts his hand more than it hurts Derek’s shoulder. Derek is surprised by the action though, which leaves Stiles even angrier. This asshole is acting like he didn’t do anything wrong, like Stiles has something to apologize for. Derek will have to do a lot of groveling after this conversation.
Stiles sits back down in his booth and ignores the alpha giving him a confused look. His bushy eyebrows are distractedly furrowed and he finally takes a seat across from Stiles. He’s still rubbing his shoulder when a snickering waitress comes by, Julie, and asks Derek if he’d like to order something. Derek orders a meal meant for at least three people. It’s probably only for him and his werewolf metabolism.
“Stop looking at me like that. I have work to do.” Stiles huffs. He can feel Derek glaring at him while he tries desperately to read his book.
“Not until you tell me why I just got punched in the shoulder!” Derek complains. Stiles looks up and gives him a sour look. Derek huffs in annoyance and lets go of his shoulder. Like Stiles even made a mark.
“I hope you haven’t forgotten that you’ve been gone for about three weeks.”
“I haven’t. I was going to explain myself before you used violence.”
“That hurt me more than it hurt you, idiot.” Stiles sighs and looks down at his book. He wishes he could live inside the pages of it. He doesn’t understand why Derek would treat him like he didn’t exist for three weeks. He was in love with the guy. He’d come to terms with it since he’d spilled the beans to Lydia.
“For I am fighting for the old days, the old ways which I love so much, but which, I fear, are now gone forever, no matter how the die may fall. For, win or lose, we lose just the same.” Derek says seriously as Stiles slowly looks back up at him. His mouth is slightly hanging open because Derek’s always been like his own personal library. He knows so many quotes from so many different books.
“You’ve read Gone With the Wind?” Stiles asks.
Derek nods. “That particular part is from chapter eleven. Scarlett gets a letter from Ashley while he’s at war. She doesn’t really understand him but she loves him anyway.”
“Why that specific quote?”
“Because I want you to trust me even if you don’t understand why I do things sometimes. I didn’t mean to go radio silent these past few weeks. It was a family matter Cora, Peter, and I had to deal with. We didn’t want anyone else involved and if I could have, if it wasn’t that important, I would have told you.” Derek explains himself and Stiles nods along. He can’t be mad at Derek forever. If he was in Derek’s position and it was something he and his dad had to deal with, he would probably have done the same thing.
“How long have you been back?”
“A few hours. I talked to Scott, even asked him to tell you where I was.”
“Scott and I haven’t talked in awhile.” Stiles sighs, closing his book. He stuffs his things back into his backpack. He thinks that he’s studied enough for one day. Derek is too much of a distraction for him to get anything else done anyway.
“Did something happen while I was gone?” Derek asks, taking Stiles’ hand to get him to look at him for the conversation. It seemed like something pretty serious happened. Stiles should be completely focused on the subject when telling Derek about it. He didn’t want to get the wrong idea from the guy.
“Uh… Scott freaked out after Isaac kissed him and when I tried to fix things for him I ended up making things worse by telling him Isaac was in love with him.” Stiles admits and looks for some kind of emotion in Derek’s eyes. Maybe shock, because Isaac is a little gayer than all of them thought he was. But by the way he’s looking a Derek, it seems like the guy already knew.
“That doesn’t explain why he’s upset with you.”
“Well, I told him I was bisexual.” Stiles shrugs. End of story. He takes his hand away from Derek and slugs his backpack over his shoulder. Derek gets up at the same time as he does and the waitress brings him his take out food.
“Stiles, do you want to talk about it?” Derek asks.
“Not really.” Stiles purses his lips and wills away the tears that want to come out. It’s the first time he’s felt emotional about the whole situation since it happened. He walks past Derek to his jeep and he doesn’t even mind the fact that Derek’s right on his tail.
When they round the jeep and are out of view from the people in the diner, the people who know who his father is, he wraps his arms around Derek’s neck. He feels like he can suddenly breathe again when Derek wraps his hands around his waist. He didn’t know how much he need the affection until Derek actually gave it to him. He feels so broken without his best friend and he hasn’t known how to tell anyone about it.
Stiles starts babbling while he holds on to Derek. Not everything is clear when he says it, but Derek gets the gist of what Stiles is trying to say. He’s struggling so hard with trying to accept himself if his best friend can’t even look at him the same way. It’s always awkward when they bump into each other at school. The only thing that has kept him on his feet is Lydia and Danny. They don’t even know the whole story. The only person he’s really confessed anything to is Derek.
He feels better now that Derek is around. And Derek even reassures Stiles that he’s not going anywhere again any time soon. Stiles is grateful for the shoulder to cry on, even though he’s not exactly crying. He’s just being weirdly emotional in front of his not-boyfriend. But he wants him to be his boyfriend, desperately. He told himself he wasn’t going to get in too deep with Derek but now he was in love the guy and there was no turning back at this point.
“I should get back home, my dad is off his shift soon.” He tells Derek, taking a few steps back to get to the driver’s side of the jeep. Derek nods and agrees but not without letting him know he can stop by the loft soon. Stiles thinks that’s a good idea and leaves Derek in the parking lot with a wave goodbye.
When he gets home, his dad is still at work. Stiles keeps himself occupied by cooking something up for dinner even though he’d already eaten at the diner. He had to make something for his dad at least. He was still watching over what his dad consumed because he still didn’t trust his dad to make healthy decisions. Stiles hadn’t really been great at looking around the house for hidden snacks because he was so busy with the real world and the supernatural world. His dad could deal with a guilty conscience.
When his dad does finally turn up, he looks exhausted but also cheeky. He seems to know something that Stiles does not and that makes Stiles nervous. His dad takes a seat at the kitchen table and gestures for Stiles to take a seat too. The teenager gets dinner served before his father's wishes are followed. He takes a seat right across from his dad and his dad is still giving him that strange know it all look.
"So what's the deal with you and Derek Hale?" Stiles almost spits out his water. Almost. But he swallows in one gulp and stares at his dad like he has no idea what he's talking about. It's clear to the sheriff that Stiles has been hiding something.
"Derek and I are friends." Stiles tells him. He also adds that Derek is not a murderous criminal, if that's what's got his dad so suspicious. He knew that Stiles knew Derek way back when they were solving the kanima problem back in sophomore year.
"Just friends?" His dad is skeptical as he jams some meat into his mouth with a fork. He's barely even paying attention to his food. That's not what Stiles planned when he chose to give his dad food during a talk like this.
"Yup." Stiles nods quickly.
"Well, Julie said she saw you two together at the diner a few hours ago." His dad shrugs, cutting into his steak with focused attention. Good, he wasn't interrogating Stiles and seeing that he was definitely sweating under the pressure.
"Julie's nosy." Stiles scoffs. The only thing Julie could have told him was that Derek touched his hand. That's it. And friends do that when they're trying to comfort someone, right? His perception of friends was so blinded that he wasn't sure if he was doing the friends thing correctly anymore.
"If there was something going on, you'd tell me, wouldn't you?" The sheriff's guilt tripping him now. He can't lie to his dad. He's lied to his dad too much about werewolves, kanimas, this new Darach person, it was all getting to be too much.
"Dad, I'm bisexual." He says softly.
"Is that supposed to be shocking?" His dad asks, continuing to eat his food.
"It's not?"
"Son," His dad puts down his eating utensils and looks at Stiles with all the care in the world. "I'd be more surprised if you told me you were dating Lydia Martin."
"She's just a friend." Stiles chuckles, he feels lighter somehow. A weight has been lifted off his shoulder and he feels like he could tell his dad everything. But he won't take everything the same way as he is now.
"And Derek is too." Sheriff adds, still not buying it for a second.
"I told Scott." Stiles sighs. John gets up and puts a hand on Stiles' shoulder.
"You know, there is nothing in this world that could make me love you less." He says carefully. He squeezes Stiles' shoulder tighter and leans into Stiles' space further so he can be level with his kid. "And I know that being a little different than most people can be challenging, but you have to let go of the people that aren't worth it. I like Scott. He's been your best friend since before your mom passed. I'm hoping he'll be the bigger man and get past this, but I hope you know it's understandable if he's a little overwhelmed."
"I know." Stiles nods. "It just hurts a little, you know?"
"Emotions tend to make you feel that way." Sheriff agrees but just pats his son on the back. "You'll get through this, Stiles."
"Thanks dad." Stiles smiles. He may even have a few tears in his eyes as he gets up to hug his old man. They hug for what seems like a lifetime. And sometimes, Stiles never wants to let go.
"I want to take you somewhere." Stiles tells Derek as he gets into the jeep.
"Okay. Where is somewhere?" Derek asks.
"It's a surprise." Stiles shrugs as he shifts the gear into drive. He takes off and they drive for a while. They end up parking on the side of the road next to the woods that go on for miles.
Stiles parks the jeep and grabs the picnic basket from the backseat. Derek raises an eyebrow but doesn't ask. Stiles just grins and scrambles out of the car. Derek follows him shortly after, still completely confused.
They walk through the woods, Stiles always a few steps ahead of Derek. He seems to know exactly where he's going as they loop around trees and jump over fallen wood and rocks. Stiles glances behind himself every so often just to see if Derek is still following him. They finally stop in the middle of a treeless meadow.
It's earthly beautiful. Derek smiles softly when he realizes that he'd told Stiles about all the times he'd been outdoors as a kid. That's all his family did when he was a kid. They were wolves. It was instinct to just be outside all the time. They had so many family cookouts that Derek forgot how much he'd been deprived of.
Stiles pulls a blanket out of his basket and takes a seat, waiting for Derek to follow him. Derek's still in awe of his surroundings to notice Stiles waiting for him. It just smells so good, like tree bark and warmth and the sun feels so nice on his skin even though it's a chillier day in February.
Derek finally pulls himself out of his little world and takes his reserved seat next to Stiles. That gives Stiles the cue to start unloading all the food he has stashed in the basket. He made sandwiches and packed a whole bag of chips, water bottles, apples, and carrots. Derek knew he was a healthy person since he had to be for his dad. He didn't mind though.
They eat in comfortable silence and once they finish the main portions of their meals, they begin with small talk. Derek tells Stiles a few stories from family cookouts he remembers because he's really feeling the outdoor weather. Stiles listens like it's the most fascinating thing he's ever heard. He doesn't add in his opinion like he usually would. Derek's surprised at how calm and happy Stiles seems.
He almost forgets how much this feels like a date. Stiles planned something that would make him happy and it just feels like the best and weirdest thing he's ever experienced. This is what mates do. They take care of each other and do things that their partner needs. Derek didn't know how much he needed this, especially with Stiles, till he'd been sitting there for almost an hour.
Time seemed like nothing when he was with Stiles. The world didn't feel as fine-lined and treacherous as it once did. Stiles could make all the pain he had ever felt, disappear until it was just a numb feeling in the back of his mind. He wanted to feel like this for the rest of his unnatural life. But there was still this nagging part of him that knew the best thing for Stiles was to let him go. Let him live his life the way he was meant to, away from Beacon Hills.
Derek wouldn't tell him this yet, though. They still had time. Stiles wasn't graduating for another four months and that should feel like forever away, but it only seemed like weeks. He wanted to be able to stay like this with Stiles for so much longer. He wished they hadn't been so stupid in the past and they'd gotten together much sooner. Maybe that would change his mind on what he would really tell Stiles when it came down to the truth.
Derek appreciated everything Stiles did for him. Especially this. Stiles made him feel so connected to his past in that moment. He'd been so afraid to go back because he didn't want to relive any painful memories that he tried to bury for so long. Stiles, the human that he was, unlocked something in him that he didn't think he'd ever open up again for anyone.
Stiles is shocked when Derek kisses him. He's babbling on about his mom and memories from his past. Derek feels bad for interrupting the story but not too bad when Stiles closes his eyes and kisses Derek back like he means it. That just lights the fire at the pit of Derek's stomach and he's laying Stiles on the blanket and kissing him senseless.
Stiles breaks the kiss for only a moment to sweep everything off the blanket so they have all the room they need. Stiles is staring up at Derek with this look that can't be mistaken for anything but love. Derek doesn't look too deeply into it but he stores it at the back of his mind for another conversation. He's not completely sure of what he saw anyway.
He stares back at Stiles though, who is blinking back at him with a lust filled gaze. He's panting just softly enough for Derek's werewolf ears to pick it up. Derek's already messed up his hair and it's strewn in places that just make Stiles look that much sexier. Derek leans down to kiss him again, but this time it's slow and searing. He puts all his emotions into that kiss as he comfortably straddles Stiles' hips and lazily grinds down on him.
Stiles unlatches his mouth from Derek's with a low and guttural moan. His eyes are closed as he leans his head back and bares his neck. Derek goes in to scent him. Derek's never called it that to himself before but this time, he knows what he's doing. His nose drags across the teen's jugular and he licks a strip up to his chin.
It's obvious by the way they're moving with each other that they both want more than this. They don't want clothes between them as they try to get each other off. They want skin on skin contact that doesn't take forever to get to. As Derek grinds up against Stiles again, he knows they are both increasingly hard. Derek leans up and pulls off his light grey Henley.
Stiles lets Derek unzip his red hoodie and he leans up to shrug it off his shoulders. His white t-shirt comes off seconds after it. Stiles isn't shying away from Derek's glances at his chest. He's definitely gained some muscle and it shows. All the fight training they'd done together paid off and Stiles' confidence was growing.
They didn't mess around and got straight to taking off the rest of their clothing. Derek slid his hands up and down Stiles body and watched as the younger man shivered under him. Stiles cupped his hand around Derek's head and pulled him down for another kiss as his other hand snaked it's way around his back to squeeze his ass.
Their hands moved quickly and efficiently around each other. They were desperate to touch all the skin they could get their hands on. Their breathing was increasing and sweat was starting to pool in different places. Stiles broke another tongue-in-mouth kiss to tell Derek something. Derek latched his mouth onto Stiles' neck again and it made it almost impossible for him to speak.
"I think you should fuck me now." Stiles tells him in a gasp as Derek bites into his neck.
"Stiles, I want to try something different." Derek tells him, pushing himself off of Stiles to look into his eyes.
"What?" Stiles asks. He's game for just about anything.
"I want you to..." Derek pauses because it's hard to say it. He's never done it before. "To fuck me instead."
"Ha." Stiles laughs sarcastically and then stops when he notices that Derek is being completely serious. "I-I don't know how."
"I'll do all the work." Derek promises him. "We don't even have to if you're not comfortable-"
"No. No, I want to. I do. I'm just a little overwhelmed and maybe slightly terrified." Stiles shakes his head quickly as his heartbeat increases.
"Are you sure?" Derek asks. It's a big step. Something that neither of them has really done before. But they're trying it out together and if it goes horribly wrong, they won't do it again.
"Yes." Stiles breathes out a sigh and Derek kisses the worry from his lips.
They take it slow. Because it's different for them so they need a different pace. Derek fingers himself because Stiles is too out of it to really know what's going on. Derek gets a nose full of nerves but also lust and that's definitely what he's looking for.
Stiles is shyly watching him as he sinks one, then two, fingers into his ass. He knows the teen is used to doing this himself and is confused about what to do while he waits. So while he's completely occupied with one hand, he cups Stiles face with the other and brings their lips together. He bites Stiles' bottom lip and Stiles instinctively opens his mouth and lets Derek swirl their tongues together.
Derek tells Stiles that he's ready if Stiles is. All the human can do is nod vigorously as Derek lowers himself onto his throbbing dick. It's agonizingly slow but when he's firmly sat on Stiles, they both need a minute to compose themselves. Derek doesn't move for at least a minute. It's not that he's unsure of what to do, he's just trying to adjust to the fact that he's not topping for once.
Derek tries lifting himself up and then sinking back down and he cringes at the burning sensation. It's not entirely painful, it's just really new and he's the only one who's doing any of the work. Stiles gets the hint that he should do something so he cautiously reaches a hand out and settles it around Derek's hip. The other hand takes Derek's hand and pins it above his head. They start moving in a rhythm that mostly consists of Derek moving up and down.
Stiles hips starting moving with Derek and they move in a way that just seems natural. Derek leans down and kisses Stiles multiple times throughout the whole experience. But there are also those moments when he can't breathe and his head tilts back so he's seeing the sky behind his hooded eyes. Stiles reaches for Derek and just trails his fingers down Derek's chest.
He feels bad about not getting Derek off. He takes Derek's neglected dick and starts pumping it the best he can in the position he's in. Derek moves faster and it feels good and desperate. Stiles feels so close and he knows Derek is too. Derek comes first all over Stiles' chest. Stiles eventually comes too when he reaches his climax. He rides it out while he's still in Derek and Derek's still moving for him.
When Derek pulls off, there's come leaking out of his ass. They'd neglected to use a condom. Not because they didn't have one but because Derek didn't think it was necessary. But now that Stiles saw, it was kind of messy. Regardless of what is painted on their body parts, Stiles pulls Derek in for a slow kiss.
Derek looks into Stiles' eyes and there's just something there. Derek's heart is beating quickly and he realizes what this is. He and Stiles have been at this so long that he hasn't opened himself up to what it could all mean. And when he looks at Stiles, there's no question to what he really feels for the guy.
Love. He's completely in love with Stiles.
It feels good to admit that to himself. Even if it will just be for himself. Because he and Stiles aren't going to be this simple forever. Stiles will leave Derek behind and Derek has to be okay with that. They aren't even together. Not in the way it matters. This was only supposed to be about sex. All they are is really good friends that care about each other.
Derek can hear shouting in the distance as he breaks a kiss Stiles is trying to draw him back into. He doesn't know how Stiles' human ears can't hear what he's hearing. The person is so close. It's obvious that it's Scott too. And he's looking for Stiles. Because Stiles parked the jeep on the side of the road for anyone to see.
"We need to leave." Derek tells him. He doesn't want to. He wanted to relax and think about what he'd just allowed Stiles to do to him. But time was a luxury they never really had.
"I'll take care of it." Stiles tells Derek as he stumbles into his own clothes. Derek does the same and packs up the little picnic that Stiles made. He's going to take it with him when he runs because Scott can't see it. Scott can't even know they were together.
"I'll see you later?" Derek asks.
"Yeah. Fill me in on the pack meeting stuff." Stiles nods, he kisses Derek goodbye before running in the direction of where he'd parked the jeep. Where Scott was still calling in the distance.
When Stiles sees Scott, he's next to his jeep. Scott's bike is laying on the ground. He looks like he was panicking before Stiles showed up. He looks relieved when Stiles walks towards him.
"What were you doing?" Scott asks.
"Looking for something." Stiles lies. Scott doesn't even realize it's a lie. He must not be listening to his heartbeat. Or Stiles has gotten really good at lying.
"Stiles, it's not safe enough to go into the woods alone." Scott narrows his eyes, concerned. "They found three more bodies in the past two days!"
"Which is why I was looking, Scott!" He says with a little more force than he meant. "I need to get home."
"Stiles we should talk about this-"
"Talk to me when you're ready to accept me for who I am." Stiles says, getting his jeep.
He drives away. Scott doesn't even stop him. He thinks this may be the end. This was going to happen to them at some point. Once Stiles left, there wouldn't even be a friendship to maintain.
It's all coming to a heading. Stiles can feel it. And it terrifies him. He's not sure what exactly is going to happen but everything is going to come crumbling down all at once and he's not ready. He needs more time but they've had time. They couldn't fix it fast enough. This would be the end.
There's three sacrifices left. They'd lost three more community members in such a short span of time. Stiles had lost someone who treated him with immense kindness when he was a kid. His dad lost a deputy. It was so much more surreal when they looked at the list of people that died too early or too innocently. And for what? They were still unsure of the endgame here. They didn't know much of anything.
Stiles knew darkness was approaching. The energy that he'd put in the back of his mind for months had returned. The nightmares that he'd gotten rid of, especially while sleeping in Derek's bed, were now back. And worse than ever. They were just blurry enough that he couldn't tell who was involved and where it was happening. He gets headaches on and off. His body feels sore and he's incredibly exhausted every second of the day.
He avoids Derek too. Not just because something is seriously wrong with him. The other reason he hasn't seen the wolf is because of his feelings for him. When he's around Derek, those feelings intensify and he's ready to tell Derek everything. So he stays away and goes to school and home everyday, on a cycle. He doesn't even talk to Lydia about any of it.
Oddly, Jackson has taken Isaac under his wing while Scott is still uncomfortable with everything. The pack is hypothetically mutilated with everyone split up and reckless. Stiles was on his own. Jackson, Isaac, and Danny sat together sometimes joined by Ethan and Aiden. Boyd and Erica sat with Lydia usually, always saving a spot for Stiles if he wanted it. Lydia and Jackson were distancing themselves in the whole thing. That left Scott and Allison alone together.
Stiles can senses something's wrong one day. He goes to school with this pit in his stomach. He even goes through the whole day but nothing bad happens. Nothing out of the ordinary. That's why Stiles starts to panic. Because anything could happen. That was just how Beacon Hills worked.
"Stiles, I'd like to speak to you for a minute." Ms. Blake tells him when the last bell rings. "I have to go run an errand real quick but if you could be in my classroom by the time I get back, that'd be great."
"Of course." Stiles nods quickly.
He makes it to his locker so he can shove everything into his backpack. He doesn't watch what he packs away because he hasn't really been focusing on his school work lately, though he should. Colleges will be sending acceptance letters and if he's not on his A-game he's not going to get the scholarships he needs.
"Stiles?" Someone asks, placing a hand on his shoulder and he jolts away. He's a little relieved to just see Scott. He's been on edge lately too.
"What is it?" He asks, not paying attention to the werewolf standing beside him. He's still shoving things into his backpack.
"I think I'm ready. To talk." Scott tells him and he stalls for a second. He has the courage to look Scott in the eyes finally.
"Okay." He nods, hands shaking a little. He smiles though. It has to be progress. "I have to talk to Ms. Blake real quick. It shouldn't take me more than half an hour."
"Come to my house after." Scott agrees, giving him a reassuring and grateful smile in return.
Stiles watches Scott walk away, along with most of the student body. He calls after him to tell him he'll let him know if he'll be longer for some reason. Scott turns around and nods but goes back on his journey towards the door. Stiles heads back to Ms. Blake's classroom and is so out of it that he's shocked to not see Ms. Blake in the room, but someone else.
"Derek." He says softly. "What are you doing here?"
"I've been wanting to talk to you." Derek sighs, slowly walking towards Stiles but decides to stay in the middle of the room while Stiles stays at the door.
"Really?" Stiles asks. He wants to say something else. Me too. Because he has wanted to talk to Derek. It's been killing him not to.
"Stiles, I can tell something's different." Derek says, his arms cross over his chest and it immediately alerts Stiles. Derek is closing himself off.
"Something is different." Stiles nods. "You're not wrong there."
"I think I know what it is." Derek raises an eyebrow, as if allowing Stiles to come forth with it first. Do you want to tell me?
"I'm scared." Stiles looks at him, drawing his eyebrows together in confusion. He doesn't want to seem vulnerable, but does all at once. He should tell Derek the truth. At some point he would have to. And the last time he saw Derek... Well, something changed between the two of them.
"Scared of what Stiles. I don't know how to help if you don't-"
"I have a bad feeling about this Derek. I don't think we should talk about this now." Stiles shakes his head. It takes everything in him not to tell Derek. To just scream, I love you. Would it be that simple?
"Stiles, tell me." Derek sighs, his eyes are pleading with him. "Just tell me what you really feel."
"How I feel?" Stiles asks. As if he hasn't already said he was scared. But he knows Derek is talking about something else.
"I've felt something for a while now." Stiles breathes out, he can't look at Derek right now. He looks at the ceiling and closes his eyes.
"You don't have to be afraid, Stiles." Derek says, he's in front of Stiles now and there's no way he can't look at him.
"If I tell you this, it could ruin everything."
"You don't know that." Derek pleads, taking his hand. Something doesn't feel right about the touch, but it's probably just Stiles' imagination.
"What do you want me to say Derek?"
"Tell. Me. The. Truth." Derek demands, shaking Stiles' hands. His eyes are dark. Darker than normal.
"I love you." Stiles whispers.
He looks at Derek, his features calming. Almost relieved by the news. He's happy to see content on Derek's face but it still doesn't seem like the correct reaction.
"I love you." Stiles repeats.
"You're an idiot, Stiles." Derek sighs. "I love you too."
Stiles is wrapped in a tight embrace but he feels stiff in Derek's arms. Even stiffer when their lips meet. It doesn't feel right, which is why he backs away. Derek seems confused at first. But then, something changes.
Derek laughs.
"Well, I guess I can't fool everyone." Derek sighs and turns away from Stiles, looking at his hands like they're foreign to him. "I don't know what you see in this guy anyway."
"You're the Darach." Stiles stares, horrified. He backs up a little further, reaching for the phone in his back pocket. "Show me your real face."
"Now, what's the fun in that?" The Darach wearing Derek's face, laughs again. "Besides, you wouldn't like the real me."
"What do you want?" Stiles asks, holding his phone, clenching it in his hand. He knows how to type behind his back. He practiced for situations like this.
"Isn't it obvious, Stiles?" It asks. "It's you I want. You are the one I have been after."
"Why?" He asks. He hopes he's texting someone. Someone needs to come and help him. Where is Ms. Blake? She should be back by now.
"It's a long story. One I can tell you soon. But not now. Now, I have some errands to run." It smiles. It looks wrong on Derek's face. It's not the genuine ones he's gotten before. He can't believe their whole conversation was a lie. But Derek wouldn't just accept a love confession like that. He'd fight against it.
But then it clicks. I have to go run an errand real quick...
"Shit." Stiles breathes.
That's when the creature uses the force of literally nothing to rip Stiles' phone out of his hand and crush it into ashes. Stiles is completely screwed at this point. Because no one is coming to help him now.
"You've figured it out, haven't you?" It smiles, melting Derek's skin off to show it's true form.
Jennifer Blake.
She smiles at him. All he can do is stand there. He's angry and shocked all at once. He doesn't know how they didn't notice it before. She showed up around the same time all the sacrifices started. She took over Harris' class after he went missing. She planned everything so perfectly.
"You know, I wasn't sure at first if it was you. If you were the one the alpha was regularly fucking. But now, I don't know how I could have missed it. You're so pathetically in love with him. It's kind of sad, really. Because he'll never love you back, will he?" She laughs, approaching him in a way that resembled a snake.
"What now? Are you going to kill me?"
"Oh honey, you have no idea what I've been planning." She rolls her eyes. "But you're coming with me. Willingly or not."
"But once I do, you will."
"Stiles, Stiles, Stiles. Have you not realized that you're the key piece in all of this? You're want I need to finish what I started. The last sacrifice." She tells him, running a finger up his chest. Her finger nail is sharp as she pokes at his jugular.
"You still have guardians left."
"I've got that covered." She smiles. "But you are going to help me with something before I finish this."
He knows he was right, now. This is the end. The last thing he sees is a face, before she knocks him out. Her true face. And it's not pretty.
He wakes up with a kink in his neck and chills running down his spine. He can barely see what's going on when he wills his eyes to open. Everything feels so heavy. He feels too weak. But when he finally adjusts to the small light he's given, he notices dirt walls surrounding him. He tries to look around, get a good feel of the place to know what he's up against.
He's tied up. He can't move his arms because they're tied down and-
That's blood. His own blood is pooling down on opposite sides of him into little bowls. The whole thing can't be more ritualistic than it already is. But he understands why he's so weak. And his feet are bound together with rope. He doesn't have the effort to try and see if they can move at all. He's anxious to know what the whole end game here is, and why it had to be him. It was always him.
"Good to see you're awake." Jennifer's voice filters through the dark space of his underground prison. He can't see her yet, but he figures that's intentional.
"What are you doing to me?" He asks, leaning his head back against what feels like a wooden pole. It hurts just to breathe. The oxygen he needs is taking energy away from him to get it.
"Draining your blood." She rolls her eyes, prowling towards him slowly. It seems she's had time to make a wardrobe change. Where before she was Ms. Blake in a knee high skirt and cardigan, now she ditched the teacher look and went for full on evil witch. Her cape was fluttering behind her as she walked gracefully in too-high heels. The whole ensemble was nothing but black, much like the color of the woman's heart standing in front of him.
She crouches down close enough to his face that he has to flinch away from the hand coming towards him. She obviously doesn't like that and squeezes his chin between the fingers of her hand. She's so cold and Stiles shivers as her breath beats down on his face. He tries to get out of her grasp but fails miserably as she just clenches on tighter. She has some kind of hatred for him that he has yet to understand. It all seems so personal.
"Are you going to tell me your evil plan?" Stiles sighs, watching her fingers travel down his arms to make sure his blood is still flowing out of him. She squeezes both his arms and he hisses in pain. He may have even let out a small yelp. His voice was so ungodly scratching and he would give anything for a big glass of water in that moment.
"I'm not that stupid. I've seen the movies." She scoffed.
"Then why me? There has to be some reason you chose me." Stiles demands. He's sick of being so confused and scared all the time. Finally, when he has answers, he doesn't get the ones he needs.
"Because your family's ancestry and I go way back." She shrugs, standing up. She walks away from him, heading for the walls that have small tables against them. They're filled with things that resemble herbs and other spices. He's sure he's seen some of them in Deaton's clinic.
"What does that mean?" Stiles asks, moving his arms and wincing. He holds in a scream because though he probably looks like he's been defeated, he doesn't want to show all of his weaknesses. "Did you know my mother?"
"I didn't just know Claudia, sweetheart." She giggled. It traveled through Stiles' core and through his bones. That didn't mean anything good. "I'm the one that killed her. And I've come to finish the job I didn't get a chance to complete."
Stiles loses all the air he'd been holding in his lungs. He doesn't know what to say. What to ask. His mother died of sickness. She wasn't murdered. Stiles watched her get worse and worse. It wasn't something that could be done instantaneously. Stiles looks at the dark shadow that envelops Jennifer. How does one become so evil?
"What would you have against my mother?" Stiles asks finally.
"It wasn't just your mother I had it out for, Stiles. I had it out for the alpha pack. And Talia Hale's pack. All the packs that did not follow the laws of nature. That were abominations." She says and Stiles doesn't understand. Derek's pack was normal. They died in a tragic fire that was set by a person who could be considered an abomination. And then there was his mother, she didn't have anything to do with the Beacon Hills packs.
"Derek's pack? Why?"
"They didn't follow the rules. They broke natural violations. Some rules that you can't understand unless you know them. And your mother was in the center of it." She shrugs. His mom was taking care of him at this time. She didn't have time to be in the middle of a war with werewolves and a crazy dark Druid.
"I don't get it. My mom wasn't part of the supernatural world." Stiles tells her and she laughs. Has he been lied to?
"You don't know what you are, do you?" She stalks towards him and crouches down so they are eye-to-eye.
"I'm human." He tells her. He can't be anything else. If he is something... it would change everything.
"Your mother was special. Just like you. Which is why I need you for this last sacrifice." She sighs and strokes his face. She looks at him with what could resemble pity and he doesn't like it. Especially coming from her.
"What about the other three?" Stiles asks.
"I figured... why not just end the problems I'd have after you were gone anyway." She shrugs.
"My dad? You bitch!" Stiles yells, he struggles to contain his energy. Like hell his dad was dying with him. A bowl flies across the room. The only explanation is that he's done it through anger.
"I see you have a bit of a temper. Well, like mother like son." She smiles cruelly and retrieves the broken shards of her plastic bowl.
"Who else do you have?" Stiles demands.
"Your pack's a threat Stiles. Emotions make you weak. What better way to weaken someone than take away someone important to the best team players." She shrugs. She's so cryptic but it's not hard to figure out what she means. Melissa McCall is definitely on the list. Maybe Allison's dad too. It's all coming full circle. Stiles doesn't know how to stop it.
"Let them go! Please!" Stiles cries out, using force of will to unbind him from his shackles. "I'll do anything!"
"Anything?" Jennifer is interested now. She paces back and forth in thought. Stiles knows this is her plan. She's wanted something all along.
"What is it?"
"I want the alpha." She says. "And your permission to do the sacrifice. It needs to be consensual."
"Okay." Stiles nods quickly. Over his dead body will she get Derek, but he can cross that bridge. "Why do you need me though?"
"Because you're a Mage, Stiles." She rolls her eyes. It's such a foreign word to him. But he's read the Argent's bestiary more than two times over. He's practically got it memorized. And he knows exactly what kind of powers a Mage withholds. "And you hold all the aspects of the ritual."
"Warrior, yes. Guardian, healer, and philosopher, maybe. But virgin? That ship sailed. Obviously." Stiles huffs. The pain in his body has increased. He's starting to feel drowsy.
"Warrior, because you fight with your pack. Guardian because you protect the people closest to you. Healer because you take care of your father's health and you nursed Derek back to full strength. Philosopher because of your knowledge. You teach your pack more and more each day. And virgin, because you haven't even experienced a life of impurity. You're so fragile, Stiles. Not even fucking a werewolf could ruin your pure spark." She's smirking as she tells him. So he's got no hope of getting out of this. He lost hope of surviving a few minutes ago.
"But you'll let my dad go. And the others? If I cooperate and give you what you want." Stiles says. He doesn't beg for a second chance. He'd die before he let anyone else get hurt. Especially if this was a personal issue between his mom and Jennifer. He could handle the rest.
"You have my word." She nods. "I just need one more thing..."
"Scott." Derek says, surprised. "And Lydia, Jackson, and Danny."
"Is Stiles here?" Scott asks, pushing past him. Using his werewolf nose and super hearing to see if the teenager was hiding.
"No." Derek tells him. He tenses up. Scott gives him a pained look and he knows something's wrong.
"We need to have a pack meeting."
"Boyd, Erica, and Isaac should be back soon. Cora and Peter are in the kitchen." Derek tells him. Scott doesn't explain what's going on but it's obvious that it's something to do with Stiles.
When the pack all shows up, Scott tells them that Stiles is missing. They were supposed to meet up at Stiles' place but he never showed. Derek has a moment of relief when he thinks maybe Stiles just needed some space. But he tenses up again when he realizes Stiles wouldn't go anywhere without telling someone first.
Scott calls his mom who is not picking up. Neither is Allison's father. And the Sheriff has been allegedly missing since this morning. He never showed up for his shift. Derek doesn't have a minute to panic because the rest of the pack needs a leader. They all know something is really wrong. Scott's too on edge to make a plan.
"The Darach needed guardians." Scott panics. He can't breathe. It's almost like he's having an asthma attack. Which is exactly what it is. Allison pulls an emergency inhaler out of her bag and gets Scott to calm down.
Derek calls Stiles repeatedly. Hoping his absence is just a thing of coincidence. But the more calls he makes, the more it seems like Stiles could be hurt or worse, dead. Derek doesn't allow himself to think like that. He talks to the pack. Reassures them that everything is going to be fine. They'll find Stiles and their parents. They always figure it out.
Derek's cell phone lights up with Stiles' caller ID. He presses answer before it even has time to ring. He's waiting for Stiles' voice to filter through the device but what he ends up with is someone much more feminine. He recognizes the women's voice on the other end. He knows he's met her in person. He suddenly goes back to the full moon where Erica, Boyd, and Cora almost tore people apart because they hadn't shifted in so long due to the alpha pack.
"Hello Derek." She says. "Missing something?"
"What did you do to him?" Derek demands.
"He knew too much. I had to take him with me." She says. "Besides, I think Stiles would agree that this is between us now."
"Where is he?" Derek growls. "I swear to god-"
"What will you do Derek?" She sighs. "Come find me. You're the one I want anyway."
"I want to talk to him." Derek says.
"I thought you might." He can hear her smirk through the phone. There's a little shuffling before he can hear someone breathing on the other end. He's heard Stiles breathe so many times. He's concentrated on it as he falls asleep at night.
"Stiles?" Derek asks. "Talk to me."
The pack is frozen around him as he looks at them. They can hear what's going on through the other end. They know Jennifer Blake has Stiles. She probably has the Sheriff, Melissa McCall, and Argent too.
"I didn't think I'd ever hear your voice again." Stiles murmurs. His voice is hoarse and Derek can only imagine why. He hopes Stiles isn't in any pain. But that probably isn't the case. Jennifer wants him for some reason.
"Stiles, tell me where you are?" Derek says.
"Sorry Sourwolf," he sighs. If possible, Derek tenses up even more. "That's not the deal I made."
"Stiles I don't care if you made a deal. I'm coming to get you. You are coming home." Derek's in denial. Stiles has time left. He can get through to him. This isn't the answer. Giving up isn't the answer.
"She has my dad, Derek. And Scott's mom and Allison's dad." Stiles whines from the other end and it breaks Derek's heart. The only family Stiles has left is his dad. He would do anything to keep his family safe. Derek knew the feeling.
"So what are you going to do?"
"It ends with me, Derek. She only needs me." Stiles tells him. "No more death."
"Except yours." Derek says.
"I need you to get my dad, Der." Stiles whispers. He hears the pained way it comes out. Stiles doesn't want to die but he'd risk his own life to save others.
"Stiles, I can't-"
"Times up bub." Jennifer cackles on the opposite line.
"Put him back on." Derek growls.
"Ugh. Fine. Last words though. Make them count darling." She croons and he can tell she's passing the phone back to Stiles.
Stiles speaks first.
"Jennifer is going to meet you somewhere and hand over my dad and the others. Cooperate please. If anything doesn't go her way, she'll kill all of them." Stiles tells him slowly. He thinks Stiles is crying or holding back a sob. He needs more time. He needs hours, days, years. Anything more than what he's given.
He needs to tell Stiles he loves him. That they are mates. He'll never get over the death of his mate. Especially if Stiles doesn't know the truth. But Stiles isn't going to die. He won't let it happen and by the discussion going on in the pack, neither will they.
"Derek?" Stiles asks.
"I'm here Stiles." Derek says, his voice is strained and he has to turn away from the pack, because he's crying too.
"I need you to know something." Stiles whispers.
"What?" Derek asks quickly. Maybe Stiles will give him a location.
"I love you." And the line goes dead.
He tunes out the pack, who he can tell heard what he did. The phone in his hand is now crushed to bits and pieces from his werewolf strength. He's so angry that he chucks it at the wall and everyone is startled.
He goes back to the night Stiles came over because of the anniversary of his mom's death. When Stiles had been so shaken up but they made love anyway. It had felt like that to Derek, then. He couldn't speak for Stiles but he knew there was something there.
"Maybe, if either of us are taken hostage at some point in the near or distant future, we should come up with a code word or phrase to alert each other if we'd be walking into a trap."
"Why were you thinking about that?" Derek chuckles.
"Because I'm usually the one being taken hostage. And I don't want you or anyone else for that matter, to walk into a trap and get hurt." Stiles sighs.
"I love you." Stiles says into the darkness of the night, which is actually morning now.
Derek's heart stops.
"That should be the code phrase." Stiles adds. Derek's heart drops, but it starts beating again. "I mean, in every romance known to man, the villain always falls for the two main characters genuinely being in love and not having a back up plan."
"Yeah." Derek agrees, his voice is strained.
"Why would Stiles say that?" Scott asks.
"You're oblivious Scott." Peter sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.
"Derek, why didn't you tell us?" Cora asks. He can't look at any of them right now. Because he knows what Stiles said, isn't what he meant. He's warning them.
"Because he didn't know they were mates either." Peter says, and that's it. Peter wasn't supposed to say anything about that.
"Mates?" Scott laughs. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Oh come on, like you haven't noticed the bond you have with Allison." Peter rolls his eyes.
"He's not wrong, Scott. It's in the lore." Allison murmurs.
"You knew? And you didn't tell me?" Scott asks. There's way too much conversation going on for Derek to think straight.
"You had a lot on your plate." Allison blushes.
"We're family, Derek. I'm your sister. You told me about Paige. Why wouldn't you tell me about this?" Cora demands at his back. Allison and Scott are talking quietly now.
"Let's just get over the fact Derek and Stiles are boning." Jackson shrugs and wraps an arm around Lydia's waste.
"What are you- holy shit." Scott comes to the revelation many of them have already gotten to.
"You're not helping." Erica sighs angrily at Scott and curls further into Boyd. They're all fighting now. Derek needs his head to stop spinning. So he shouts at all of them to shut up.
"It's a trap." He says softly.
"What?" Peter is the only one not afraid to speak.
"Stiles and I... he thought we needed a code phrase if either of us were to get into trouble." Derek tells them.
"So the I love you..." Cora trails off.
"It's a trap." Derek shrugs dejectedly. "We're going to get him back."
"But even if it is a trap, you still have feelings for him." Scott says.
"It doesn't matter right now. What matters is finding him. I can do it. I know his scent. I can feel him. I need you to meet Jennifer but not let her take advantage of the situation. Scott, call your boss. Maybe he can help." Derek is on full alpha mode now. Emotions were a distraction and he needed to be strong.
With his force of will, finding Stiles wouldn't be a problem.
Stiles is in and out of consciousness for the next twenty minutes. He thinks it's twenty minutes but his perception of time is a little wonky due to the fact that he didn't even know when he'd been taken by Ms. Blake in the first place.
He feels the exhaustion eating away at his bones and he would do anything not to feel the dehydration sponging up his lungs so it makes it impossible to breathe.
His eyes feel crusted together with blood and other grimy substances. He's underneath the nemeton, so of course he's caked in dirt and earth. It's dark around him and he would love just one flicker of light in that moment. Before he wouldn't see anything ever again.
He was going to die there. He knew that much was true. Hanging up the phone with Derek, he knew he had to say his last words. Had to make sure that Derek knew he cared deeply about him and always would.
There was nowhere to begin with letting yourself go and accepting death. Stiles was never a fan of death ever since his mother died. But he'd be with her again in the afterlife. If there was an afterlife to look forward to.
He didn't want to die.
"Stiles." It's muffled and he just barely hears his name on the tip of the other specimens tongue, but it's there. And he doesn't want it to be. He doesn't want this to be it.
"I'm going to die." He whispers.
"Not on my watch." The voice replies and he knows that voice. That voice has always been his saving grace over the past couple of months.
"Derek?" He asks into the darkness which now that he's opening his eyes a little, he can see a small light.
"Come on, we need to get you out of here." Derek nods, wrapping his arms around Stiles' frail body, being terribly considerate of the injuries placed upon him by the Darach.
"This isn't real." Stiles chokes on a laugh. "You can't be here. No one will find me."
"Ever the optimist, Stiles." Dream Derek rolls his eyes. He's definitely ruling this as a dream or a hallucination.
"This is my brain conjuring up some kind of hallucination because I want you to be the last thing I see before I die. Isn't it?" Stiles huffs. "How cruel."
"Guess again." Derek sighs, still trying to find a way around Stiles' body without causing him pain.
"A mirage, then." Stiles winces as Derek grazes the wound on his upper arm.
"Still wrong." Derek says, scooping him up into his arms. Bridal style and everything.
"How?" Stiles asks, squeezing tightly onto Derek's perfectly ironed Henley. The black one that he loves so much.
"I could feel your pain." Derek shrugs. "Led me right to you."
"My hero." Stiles mumbles, before he's out of it again.
He comes to on the side of the road in Derek's Camaro. Derek's sitting with him in the back seat, stroking his hair till he gains consciousness again.
"My dad?" Is the first thing Stiles hoarsely asks about when he gets the courage to speak.
"At Scott's with Melissa." Derek confirms. He's safe and that's all Stiles needed to know.
"So, turns out I was the damsel in distress... again." Stiles jokes, trying his best to sit up.
"I'm sorry about all of this, Stiles." Derek says.
"I need some air. I feel like I'm going to hurl." Stiles huffs, getting out of the car, one step at a time.
Derek's next to him in seconds with a water bottle. He has to lean against the black beauty of Derek's car but he feels a lot better now that he has all his senses.
"We should really get you back to Beacon Hills. To your father. Or to a hospital at least." Derek interrupts the comfortable silence.
"Where's Jennifer?" Stiles asks.
"She's being handled till I can get back." Derek says vaguely. "Come on, you need rest.
"Hang on." Stiles shakes his head. "We need to talk."
"It can wait." Derek ignores him, ready to get back in the car and start driving.
"It can't. I need to know that you understood what I was saying back there, on the phone." Stiles says.
"I'm not going to hold you accountable for something you said when you thought you were going to die." Derek shakes his head, embarrassed.
"I said those things because I wanted you to know the truth, Derek. I thought I wasn't going to get a chance to say them to your face." Stiles protruded on. "I wanted those words to be my last to you. Because I was too much of a coward to say them before."
"Stiles-"
"I'm not finished." He refused to let this opportunity pass him by. "I knew getting into this whole charade with you was a bad thing from the start. But before we got together, I knew my interest in Lydia was just an infatuation with the possibility of being with someone so worshipped. With her, the what if excited me. But with you... it was different, Derek. It was real and I thought it could become something more. And it did. At least for me. Because I know one thing for sure. I meant it when I said I loved you."
He waits for Derek to respond but doesn't push. But the wait almost kills him and silence is louder than words.
"I guess, all I'm trying to figure out now, is if you feel the same."
"You're my mate, Stiles." Derek finally says. He finally looks at him since Stiles started his rant.
"I'm your what?" Stiles jaw drops. "And you've refrained from telling me this information because...?"
"It's a big commitment in the werewolf world. Being mated is like being married. We only get one shot at this and we'd be bound together for the rest of our lives. I had to be sure that you'd even be interested in the idea of that." Derek explains. He's nervous, Stiles can tell. Stiles can almost always tell what Derek is thinking now. Or at least what he can't get out through words.
"Well you're not really giving me a choice there, buddy." Stiles pointed out.
"Stiles, I'm in love with you. I have been since I figured this all out. Since Peter told me-"
"Peter told you that we were mates?" Stiles asked.
"My life, has been a whirlwind of bad dreams and vicious nightmares. Why would you want to be a part of that?" Derek sighs, ignoring Stiles' question.
"Because I made the choice to be in this world." Stiles complies.
"And you were willing to sacrifice yourself for people like me." Derek says.
"People like us." Stiles nods.
Derek gives him a questioning look and he just smiles softly at him as he steps forward into his personal space.
"I learned a few things about myself today." Stiles says, placing his right hand on his heart and reaching out to place the other one on Derek's.
He wills the magic to flow through him. Wills it to work in the way he read about in the Argent's bestiary. He just had to believe that he had the power for it to shine through him.
There's suddenly a small flash of light and he's opening his eyes to see this jumbled glowing string of red and blue flowing from his heart to Derek's.
"It's called-"
"A tether." Derek finishes for him, fascinated.
"Yeah. And I'm-"
"A Mage." Derek whispers.
"You're stealing all my thunder here, man." Stiles chuckles.
"Sorry, it's just-" Derek pauses, staring at the strings, connecting them together before looking back up into Stiles' eyes. "My parents used to tell me stories about how rare it is to come across a werewolf and a Mage pairing and how the supernatural is sometimes threatened by them because they work well together and make a good-"
"Team?" Stiles asks, putting some pieces together.
"Exactly." Derek nods.
"Huh." Stiles hums.
"What?" Derek asks, interested in what's running through Stiles' brain.
"I don't know, Derek. I think you two make a pretty good pair." Stiles recites. "You think Matt knew, back then?"
"Possibly." Derek nods.
"So we've been a couple of dumbasses these past couple years." Stiles says.
"It seems so." He nods again.
"There's one thing I want to do before we go and kick some evil bitch's ass." Stiles says, surging forward and wrapping Derek up in a kiss.
The kiss electrifies them and shoots through every wire in their bodies. It's the tether. Stiles didn't necessarily unravel it so it's affecting the both of them in a strange but pleasant way.
"Let's do this." Stiles grins, placing his hand in Derek's, exactly where it should always be.
"Stiles!" Scott exclaims the moment Derek and him step out of the car. "You're okay!"
"I've been better." Stiles shrugs.
"What's going on?" Derek asks Scott. They have to know what they missed.
"Lydia used the spell that Deaton gave us to trap her. She's still powerless but the force field isn't going to hold for much longer." Scott tells them.
Stiles is ultimately confused. Derek refused to fill him in on all the things that went down since he'd been taken. The plus side was that they had Jennifer. But how were they supposed to take her down?
She was powerful. That much, Stiles definitely knew. She had dark magic. Magic that could kill. It had killed people. That was the kind of magic that killed his mom. Jennifer let that slip when she was telling her backstory to Stiles.
She wasn't here to kill the alpha pack or to destroy the supernatural world by all means. She was here for vengeance. She didn't complete a task that was given to her ten years ago so she needed to end it now. With him.
"What do we do?" Scott asks desperately. Though he was an alpha, he still was kind of terrible one. Especially under pressure. He needed guidance.
"We don't need her to be held for much longer. We just need a plan." Derek decides. And Stiles understands what has to happen. What he has to do.
"I'm going to kill her." Stiles says simply. He takes Derek by surprise, but nothing compares to the look on Scott's face.
"We don't kill people, Stiles." He scolds. Scott has always been an optimist. Some part of him probably believes there's a part of this dark creature that they can save. But she's past saving. She saw to that when she killed all those people just to gain enough energy to kill even more people.
"This is personal." Stiles hisses. "You don't understand it now, but it has to be done. There is nothing left for us to do, Scott."
Scott looks to Derek for help. He's desperate for anything at this point. He wants Derek to stop Stiles from being a killer. But what Scott doesn't understand is that they can't always win each battle they fight.
"Lose a battle to win a war, ain't that right Derek?" Stiles looks to the person he's figured out he loves. Well, he'd known for a much longer time. It'd been a slow process but they were here now.
"I don't think you should be there for this." Derek sighs, running his fingers through his hair. Stiles doesn't like the pained look on his face. It's that look that says, this is a really stupid idea and I'm trying to stop you from going through with it.
"It's not your choice to make." Stiles settles on. Because once upon a time, their first fight was all about choices. And Derek promised him that he could make his own choices. But he also promised Derek that he'd let him stop him if it was really going to hurt them both.
He couldn't listen to that voice in his head that was doubting himself. He was meant to finish this. He needed to avenge his mother's death. They didn't understand the weight that was on him. And they wouldn't understand till after it was done.
He walked away without them. Through the trees and into the meadow opening that they had chosen to contain Jennifer in. He spots the pack before they spot him and he takes a thoughtful journey until he reaches them.
"Nice of you to join us, Stilinski." Jackson growls.
"Yeah, I was a little contained for a while." Stiles shrugs because even in their worst moments Jackson is a dick and Stiles is a sarcastic asshole.
"So do you have a plan?" Lydia asks, glancing behind him to see Scott and Derek finally making their way towards the group.
"I do. I can't say everyone's going to like it, but I do." Stiles nods.
The alpha pack shows up to help. Stiles isn't sure how they knew but he's grateful for the extra back up. They want Jennifer taken down just as much as he does. So they go into the fight head on with little tactics. All Stiles knows is that she has to be stopped, and fast.
Stiles never planned on dying. The moment he stepped into that field he knew something unexpected could occur. And it wasn't one of those unexpected things that made you wish it never happened. It was just simply unexpected.
Stiles always had a thing for sacrificing himself for the greater good. Not that, that intentionally meant a suicide mission. But if it had to be done, to save a lot more people over himself, he'd do it.
He goes back to that time sophomore year with Scott. When they were in the woods and his dad caught him out alone. Looking for Laura Hale. How he hadn't told his dad that he wasn't alone, because he knew Scott's mom would murder him. But that may have hurt Scott more than helped him.
Maybe none of the things they went through would have happened. If Stiles hadn't gotten caught, maybe he would have been the one who got bit. Those thoughts never went through his head because he refused to live in the past.
But every detail of his life, his life in this world - the supernatural one - was coming back to resurface. He makes mistake after mistake but no mistake will probably beat the mistake he's made now.
He glances over to Scott. He thinks his best friend might be dead, or close to it. And he looks around the once beautiful meadowy field and all he sees is blood and death. He feels every bone inside himself breaking because of one person.
Jennifer is using all her dark magic to kill Derek. To crush every bone in his body and it's literally driving him insane. Because he can feel it. Derek and him are still connected. The one thing Stiles forgot to do before all of this, was untether them.
His pain-filled scream breaks through the trees and echoes throughout the whole forest. He wants to rip himself apart. There are unquestionable tears filling his eyes and he just wants it to stop.
"DEREK!" He screams, because he is not letting him die.
He forces himself to break the connection, knowing that this could possibly kill Derek because together, they're just a little bit stronger. But once he does it, he feels all of his own strength slowly return to him.
He finds Lydia helping Allison who was knocked out in the crossfire. And Jackson is starting to sit up and regain the strength he'd lost. Boyd and Erica are wrapped in each other, making sure that neither of them gets hurt.
Isaac has taken to trying to wake up or heal Scott. Stiles still can't tell what is going on with his best friend and he doesn't have the time to check. This is a now or never kind of moment.
He knows there are people dead. The alpha pack was destroyed. They lay dead in certain places. Some worse for wear than others. He didn't bet on Jennifer taking them out first, and he knows it's selfish, but he's glad she did.
He can't find Derek's family anywhere. Peter must have decided to escape at some point and maybe took Cora with him. He just hopes he isn't missing something and Derek's last remaining relatives are both gone too.
"We're ending this. Now." Stiles says mostly to himself but he's sure the wolves must have heard him.
Stiles digs deep inside himself to do whatever he can to help. He knows he's just figured out that he's a Mage but that had to be useful for something. He didn't know how it worked but Stiles was the kind of guy that did things without reading the instructions.
He feels the spark before he sees it. It's like a little firework in the palm of his hand. It feels natural but unnatural at the same time. He feels power drain to his finger tips and in that moment he is forcing it to slip away from him and hit Jennifer.
It's not extremely powerful, obviously. It knocks her down several feet away from where she was in the first place and she stops torturing Derek. That's what he wanted. But now that Derek is safe, or somewhat safe, he wants to watch the life drain out of her body.
He didn't know when he got so violent. Maybe it was from hanging around Derek so much. But once he got to know the sourwolf, he actually wasn't the most dangerous person in the pack to be around.
Stiles thinks he's hurt Jennifer a little more than he thought when she doesn't get up. He creeps towards her, still on high alert and begins to think he may have knocked her out. He still doesn't trust his instinct that tells him things are going to be okay. He feels far from it in that moment.
He rushes to Derek's side, who is still rolling around in pain. Stiles just touches him and he stops moving completely. Derek looks at him with sadness in his eyes and Stiles wants anything but the chance to talk to him right then.
Stiles knew about his healing abilities. He realized he could heal himself so that's why Derek even considered letting him come in the first place. After being held captive and being mentally and physically beaten, he probably wouldn't have been able to handle this situation at all.
He knows that he's sunk way too deep into comfort at this point. Making sure Derek is okay should really not be on his list of priorities. Which is why when a buzzing starts playing in his ears he knows he's made a mistake.
Suddenly his head feels like it's exploding and he's clutching at his skull. He's ready to rip his hair from his scalp by the time he sees Jennifer smirking in his peripheral vision. He starts screaming only moments later when it feels like she's cranked the pain in his head up just a little more.
"Didn't I tell you the key to winning is always paying attention?" She asks, walking towards him.
Derek pulls Stiles towards him to try and protect him. He knows Derek's not at full strength yet, none of the pack is. But he really needs his team and he can't think about what to do when he's withering in pain in a grassy field.
She stops torturing him and makes him stand on his feet. She's so powerful. He doesn't understand how light magic is supposed to beat dark magic. Because he is a white light at the end of the tunnel but she is the whole tunnel.
"This is between you and me." Stiles sighs. He still feels the pain in his head. It's morphing into one of the worst headaches he's ever had. "Just let them go."
"You know Stiles, anyone who is connected to you must die." She shrugs. "Which is a little disappointing because I was starting to like your little alpha pet."
"Don't touch him." Stiles growls, moving towards her.
"I don't think that's the way this works." She smiles, somehow making him freeze in his place. "You don't get to make negotiations here, Stiles. All of you die. I guess we could decide who goes first though. I want you to watch me kill all of your friends before I kill you."
"You're sick." Isaac says. He's just now gotten Scott to wake up. So his best friend is alive but could really use real medical assistance at this point.
"Oh honey, I thought we were all familiar with that by now." She says sweetly and waves her hand to use magic.
Isaac starts grasping at his throat. It's like he's trying to rip off hands that are trying to choke him. He's being choked by nothing! Isaac doesn't deserve that. Isaac and him are barely even friends. He's the guy that wants to steal Scott from him.
"Stop!" Stiles yells, suddenly forcing everything in him to just make her stop.
And she does. Stiles has done something with his magic to actually make her stop. She is frozen where she stands, just like Stiles was. But she's laughing. Like a maniac. And Stiles knows she's crazier than he originally thought.
"Good one." She amends. She uses her magic to unstick herself from the position Stiles had her held in.
She's just standing there for a few seconds before she's doing something with more magic. She's smirking as waves of magic come off her and form into something else. Bodies. She is making duplicates of herself.
Stiles has to back away. Has to make a plan. He needs his pack in the game because he suddenly realized that he cannot do this alone. Derek's pulling him back when he doesn't have the strength to move anymore.
"I need help." Stiles tells him.
"That's what we're here for." Scott tells him. And he wants to cry because there is no way his best friend would make it out of this if he had to fight anymore.
"You're on the sidelines." Stiles tells him fiercely.
"Okay." Scott nods and Stiles has to be thankful that he's cooperating.
"I need everyone to get a Jennifer. Her duplicates obviously won't have the same power as her. She's going to try and camouflage herself so I can't find the real one. Just do whatever you have to do to get rid of them." Stiles tells the group.
The battle doesn't go exactly as planned. From what Stiles can tell, they're winning. That's the plus side of it all. But he's still having a hard to figuring out who is the mastermind behind the whole charade.
He blasts some kind of powerful energy at one of the straggling Jennifer's and she dissipates. They're all almost like real people and that's what's so terrifying about everything.
He thinks everything is under control. Some of the pack has taken out some of the doppelgängers so they are helping each other. That doesn't ease the sinking feeling in his stomach. It's just a matter of time before something goes wrong.
It just feels like when they seem to be gaining a semblance of hope, more of her start appearing. And Stiles doesn't know how to stop it. Except for when she slips and reveals herself. He doesn't know if anyone else has caught on to the one who practically has a glistening shield around her but he has.
So when he runs towards her, he's ready to end this. He forces himself to unleash all of the magic he can to break every ounce of protection or danger she wields. It should work. It does work. For the most part.
Stiles never planned on dying.
But in that moment, he knows it. He knows they can't always win everything. He accepted that the minute he and Scott got into this mess in the first place. So he's not surprised.
He knows Jennifer's down. He saw what he did to her. He ripped her heart out of her chest. She would never be able to see what she did to him. And there's a satisfaction in that, that only Stiles would ever understand.
He's been impaled. Or at least that's what it feels like. Right in his heart. He falls to the ground on his back and he's just... quiet.
"Stiles!" He hears Derek. The others. All of them call to him. It's already fuzzy.
He wants to cry.
Derek's with him seconds later. He's trying to pick him up. He just picks him up enough so that he's not lying on the ground completely. He thinks he's in Derek's lap. But his mind isn't completely there in that moment so he doesn't know for sure.
"We have to take him to Deaton." Derek says quickly, ready to carry him. Run with him.
"I'm afraid moving will only make it worse." Deaton says, stepping into the clearing. Always the one to show up when it was too late.
"We have to do something!" Derek says desperately.
"There's nothing I can do." Deaton sighs.
Derek pleads with him. But it's clear that Deaton handles animals. He handles wolves. He's not one to handle humans. Even semi-normal ones.
Stiles wants to stay strong for a little while longer because he's already starting to feel himself slip. He senses his friends gathering around him. Some more clued in than others at this point.
"Derek." He whispers. Derek is grasping for his hand and Stiles feels a little numb. He can tell Derek is trying to take his pain. He's grateful for it, even if it is probably pointless.
"Stiles, we're going to fix this." Derek promises. "I'm going to fix this."
Stiles huffs out a laugh and smiles at Derek. "It's okay, Derek."
"Don't pull that bullshit with me." Derek growls.
"Stiles?" Scott almost whimpers. He approaches Stiles cautiously. It's like he thinks he's almost imagining things.
"Hey buddy." Stiles coughs violently. His hands are shaking and they're covered in blood and he wants to throw up but knows he doesn't even have the strength for that.
"I should have helped." He cries, kneeling next to his best friend.
"There's nothing you could have done." Stiles shakes his head.
"But I-I could have been stronger. I could have fought with you. I could have been by your side." Scott blubbers.
"We have to lose a couple battles to win the war, aye Scotty?" Stiles asks weakly. He can't do this right now. He has to be strong even though he just wants to quit. "I need to-to tell you something."
Stiles is spitting up blood now. He can feel it coming up the back of his throat and he just needs to talk. He needs to get everything out before he can't.
"You've been a great friend and a great brother and son and alpha. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It may not seem like it at times but just- just keep going." Stiles tells him. And it's painful because it's like a goodbye and that's something Stiles hadn't imagined himself doing so soon. "I need you to keep going without me."
"Stiles, don't-"
"Let me, say this." Stiles pleads. Blood is dripping down his chin and Derek's wiping it away for him.
"Okay." Scott nods, crying harder yet holding in a sob.
"I love you." Stiles tells him. "Always remember that. And tell your mom she was like a second mother to me."
Scott backs away. He needs someone else then. Allison and Isaac are there, wrapping him in a group hug. They're all crying too. Stiles didn't know they cared that much about him.
Lydia, Jackson, Boyd, and Erica don't say anything to him. He doesn't want them to, to be honest. He can see that this isn't what they wanted. He can see that they'll miss him. He doesn't need anything else.
He closes his eyes for a second just to rest them and just breathes as much as he can. When he opens them again, Derek is staring at him in horror.
"What's happening to him?" Derek asks Deaton.
"Essentially, all of his organs are shutting down. He's bleeding out of any open orifice." Deaton explains sadly.
That's when Stiles knows that blood is dripping from his ears and he's losing his hearing. He cries a little bit harder. He needs to talk to Derek. He needs Derek to be alright after he's gone.
"Derek." He murmurs, lifting his hands and putting them on Derek's cheeks. They're stained with blood but Derek doesn't give it another thought.
"Don't leave me." Derek whispers. Stiles has only seen Derek cry one other time and this is worse. He looks like he's losing everything even though he's already lost so much.
"I'm afraid it's not up to me." Stiles jokes.
"You're supposed to get out of this town. You're supposed to graduate. Get married. Have kids. Live a normal life. You're supposed to make it out of this." Derek pleads with him.
"Do those things for me." Stiles says. He's not asking. He needs Derek to be happy without him. "I need you to be okay."
"I wanted to do them with you." Derek shakes his head. And he repeats it like a mantra, resting his head against Stiles'.
"You need to be strong." Stiles tells him. "I need you to take care of my dad for me. I need you to take care of yourself. Take care of the pack. Please, do that for me."
"Stiles-"
"I love you." Stiles cries, bringing copper tasting lips to meet Derek's. Because he has to know what that feels like one last time. "I know we were supposed to have more time. Because we've been idiots for a while. But this is what we have left."
"I can't do this. I can't lose you too." Derek is begging him to hold on. But the fight is over. He has long given up. He just can't do it anymore.
He cries more when there's blood streaming from Stiles' eyes. His body is shutting down. He probably shouldn't even be alive. But his magic is tethering him to Derek for as long as he can before that gives out too.
"I love you." Derek tells him, kissing his forehead.
Stiles drifts away, happy that those are the last words he will ever hear. And then images and words and smiles are filtering through his brain to be displayed in front of him. Happiness. Sadness. Contempt. He's living it all.
"We have to do something." Lydia says. She knows Stiles is gone already but there just has to be something they can do. "I can barely hear his heartbeat!"
There is something. It could end badly but it's all Derek can think of. He doesn't need power anymore. That's not what he continued living for. He wanted to live for Stiles. And Stiles had to be alive for that.
He grasps onto Stiles' hands and sucks all the pain he can. It could consume him and kill them both. But either way, they'd be together.
Then, there is nothingness.
The funeral is three days later.
Derek doesn't want to go but he knows that it's the right thing to do. Stiles would be mad if he didn't go. He paces around the loft and finally puts on a suit handed down to him by his father. He'd lost almost everything that was left of his family. But they had a secret vault, so not everything was destroyed completely.
The hardest part of dealing with Stiles' death was telling his dad. Derek couldn't do it obviously. So Scott does it. And Scott also tells him everything he was missing out on. Something Stiles would never get to do now.
Derek hates funerals. When he gets to the cemetery, his immediate thought is to turn back around. He hasn't been to a cemetery since the fire. But he sucks it up and does it for Stiles. Because what Stiles wanted from him, were things he was actually going to try doing.
There are many people at the funeral. Stiles was the sheriff's son. He's surprised to see so many people weeping. He didn't know Stiles was so popular and loved around the community. He bows his head and tries to think of how much he knew Stiles at all. He would like to think he knew him better than most people.
Derek looks around. All the deputies from the station are in the second row. The front row is reserved for family and friends. Scott and his mother are seated next to each other. He thinks she's squeezing his hand a little too tight, even if he is a werewolf.
The pack are also lined up next to Scott. Allison is on the opposite side of him. Isaac takes the spot after that. Boyd, Erica, Jackson, and Lydia sit right next to them. Erica is crying and he understands why she's having such a hard time with all of this. Some felt the pack bond more than others. She felt like something was missing.
It's how Derek felt. Still feels. And it doesn't go away. He lost his whole family. Even though he still had some back, it wasn't the same. They weren't the pack that they had been. And he hadn't even seen them since it all went down.
Lydia is being stoic about the whole thing. She looks calm and collected but if you look into her eyes, she's dead inside. Derek understands this too. Stiles was pathetically in love with the girl for years. That was all on her now. She didn't feel like she deserved to sit there and cry. If she was with him, maybe things would have been different.
Jackson's a different story. He's holding back his tears the best he can. Derek's confused by this whole side of things. Boyd is as stoic as Lydia. But Jackson, the person that tormented Stiles more than anyone, is crushed about his death. It's nice to see he actually cares, but it's all for the wrong reasons. Stiles would have loved to see that.
Derek realizes he's been standing in the middle of the isle for a good five minutes. People are starting to notice, starting to stare at him. But mostly, they probably think he's just in shock. Someone he loved, died. But most of them probably didn't know about the love between him and Stiles.
The sheriff is glancing around. He thinks he may be looking for someone. And that's when Derek realizes, there's an open seat next to the sheriff. Derek knows it's meant for him. Knows the sheriff is more intuitive about things than he originally thought.
But when the sheriff turns around to look at him, he doesn't approach. He doesn't move forward even though the sheriff is nudging his head for him to. He shakes his head and kindly declines the offer before sitting about five rows back.
When the funeral starts, all Derek wants to do is leave. Stiles would have liked the fact that it was all outdoors. He came to like the forest when Derek showed him all its perks. Which is why Derek really doesn't want to stay. Because there's too many memories here.
There's some kind of priest ordaining the whole thing. He says words and phrases from the bible. Stuff that Derek never believed. Still doesn't believe. And when he talks about how Stiles is in a better place, well Derek would like it if that were true. Stiles deserves to be somewhere without all the pain and suffering.
The priest finishes quicker than Derek thought he would and lets others speak about the time they had with Stiles. They've obviously asked a select few to come prepared. Scott is up first and Derek knows this is something he shouldn't be doing. Not when he's still healing.
"Stiles was not just my best friend, he was my brother." Scott says softly. He has a piece of paper in his hands and they are shaking rapidly. Derek feels sorry for him. "We used to do a lot of stupid stuff as kids that would get us into trouble. But we kept doing things like that no matter how many times we'd been brought down to the station. Everyone knew us. The sheriff's kid and his asthma ridden best friend. If he was here right now, I think he'd laugh at me trying to say something that didn't involve him being an idiot. But he was a good person. He didn't deserve such a short life."
Scott goes on to talk about how Stiles was happy. He lost his mom and him and his dad were in a rut but they came back from that. They met people. Friends that care deeply about him. Stiles lost a lot in the past, but now it was time that they lost Stiles. And living in a world without the kid with an aderal addiction would be hard. Because he brought life into people.
He brought people back from the brink of their suffering. He brought people like Derek back. He made people happy. Scott just hopes that Stiles was happy with what came out of his life. Derek sits there silently. He knows Stiles was happy with the way it all ended. But he wasn't.
Some of the pack speaks about Stiles. They talk about him like he was the glue that kept them all together. Honestly, Derek thinks that may be the best way to describe his spastic lover. He tunes out the rest of them for the most part.
When the sheriff speaks, it really hits Derek. Stiles doesn't get to tell his dad he loves him one last time. He doesn't get to sleep in his bed or sneak in late to his house after a long night at Derek's. Stiles doesn't get a second chance. Derek failed him. He failed everyone.
The service finishes soon after that. They lower Stiles' casket into the ground and his dad and all his friends throw dirt on top of it. Then, stronger men with shovels, fill up the rest. And just like that, it's all said and done. It's real. There's no coming back from this.
The clean up is simple. They have a lot of helping hands. And after that, people congregate to talk to the sheriff and Scott and Melissa McCall because those are the people that matter. He stands back and watches it all happen. Listens to anyone who needs to talk. He's polite when people approach him.
Some ask how he knew the deceased. All he can think of to say is close friend. They nod their heads and tell him they are sorry for his loss. If only they knew how Stiles and him were so much more than that.
Many people disperse after a while. There's a small reception for lunch at the high school gym and that's where people need to go. They can't stand to be in a cemetery. And can't help not wanting to be at a funeral for a child. Because that's what Stiles was, still just a kid.
He stands at Stiles' headstone. He wants to see what it reads. He hates it. Stiles was so much more than just a few words on a headstone. But the quote wasn't too bad.
If you're going through hell, keep going.
And underneath that was all that Stiles was. Son. Friend. Leader. But he was more than that to Derek. Lover. Mate. Family. Savior. Survivor. He deserved those titles. He deserved more. Glue. That's what was most important about him.
He feels the sheriff approach him before he actually sees him through the side of his vision. He doesn't look away from the stone. He can't face John like this. It doesn't feel right. There should have been a formal introduction. And John probably would be a little iffy about their relationship at first but then he'd grow to like Derek.
Derek wouldn't be surprised if John hated him. He hated himself.
"I admire you for showing up today." The sheriff tells him gruffly. The man has probably shed more tears than both of them combined. "Scott said it might be too much for you."
"He would have wanted me to." Derek murmurs, sticking his hands in the pockets of his suit jacket. He feels naked without his usual ensemble. The leather jacket given to him by his father. It smelled like Stiles so it was too much for him at the moment. He couldn't go near it.
"Scott told me things." John says. "I guess Stiles was always meant to be a part of something like that. I know why he did what he did that night. His mother, used to tell me stories. She told me they weren't real but all of this just shows me how much I really missed. I think Stiles thought it was his responsibility to do something."
"I didn't understand why he felt the need to be so involved." Derek says. John obviously knows all the things that Stiles never got to tell him.
"Come over for dinner tomorrow. I'll fill you in. I think I'll be getting a lot of casseroles from the women in town." He chuckles.
"Okay." Derek agrees. He promised Stiles that he'd take care of his dad. They'll be okay because they both loved Stiles. They could tell each other things about him that they hadn't been informed about.
"I know I may not be the sharpest parent in the bunch with all this supernatural stuff, but I knew about the two of you. I'm a little intuitive when it comes to things like that." John tells him.
"I'm sorry we never told you." Derek sighs. "I kind of wish he would have never met me. Maybe he'd still be alive."
"Well, I'm glad he did." He says to Derek's surprise. "He was happy. I hadn't seen him that happy since before his mom died. So, thank you."
John pats Derek's shoulder and just squeezes. Derek finally has the courage to look at John and he feels a little bit of acceptance. Stiles' dad doesn't hate him. He's grateful he was a part of Stiles' life.
Derek wraps him up in a surprising hug. But Stiles' dad reminds him a lot of his own dad. And now that Stiles is gone, he doesn't have anyone who will show him that kind of affection. And he sighs in relief when the sheriff grips him tight and hugs him back. It's something they both need.
Soon enough, they break away from each other and give each other space. John nods at him and starts walking away. He has other places to be today. Derek's okay with that. But he probably won't show his face for the rest of the day. He needs to run.
Sheriff turns around to tell him one last thing. He actually smiles at Derek and says, "So I'll see you tomorrow then Derek?"
"Of course." He agrees.
And that's how it starts.
Derek shows up at the Stilinski residence at least twice a week after that. It's one of the only things he'll actually leave his loft to go and do. It's the only time during the day that he doesn't feel completely alone.
And they sit in comfortable silence over a dinner that John doesn't make. Stiles was always the cook. Which is why it becomes a normal routine for Derek to make the dishes while still looking out for the sheriff and his health for Stiles.
They don't talk much but when they do, it's not only all about Stiles. They talk about Claudia Stilinski and the Hale family. They include political topics that neither of them give a shit about. Derek even helps him figure out some of his cases at the station.
Which is how Derek goes into the deputy program at the sheriff's department. Months later, he's on his first job outside of the station and things feel good again. It feels so silly to be tracking down a gunman in Beacon Hills - a normal human - when he'd been through so much before that.
And it's even funnier when he gets shot with a regular bullet and they rush him to the hospital. The sheriff is there a few hours later after Melissa takes care of it. Deaton taught her a few things after the accident.
That's what they called it now. An accident.
John laughs at him when he sees him. But it's clear he was worried nonetheless. That's when Derek thinks he can move forward with his life. He's found family in John and he's happy like that.
That's exactly why it has to go to shit when the sheriff gets in an accident during a run into a different town. He just wanted to help out. And look where that got him.
Derek visits him everyday in the hospital while he's in a coma. He promised Stiles he'd take care of his dad and himself. He was doing a piss poor job at both.
He gets drunk off of wolfsbane induced alcohol and doesn't leave the loft enough again. Just for his job. It all goes back to how things were right after Stiles died. He's not good at surviving without him.
When the sheriff wakes up, Derek doesn't see him till he shows up at the loft. He scolds Derek for living like a hermit. He tells him that he was making progress. They both made so much progress in the past two years.
"I can't do it!" Derek shouts at him. "I don't know how you do it. I can't live without him."
"Yes, you can. And you will." John shakes his head. "Because we need each other to get through this."
Derek caves after that. They sit on the couch in Derek's loft and watch all of Stiles' favorite movies. And they move forward.
The pack visits a couple times throughout each year. They all scattered for college. But they remained close. Derek preferred to stay out of the loop these days. And they rarely had any supernatural problems.
Each year gets easier and harder all at the same time. They have their ups and downs but he lives as much of a normal life as he can.
At least ten years after Stiles' death, Derek leaves Beacon Hills with the promise to John Stilinski that he'd return. He doesn't. And John never counted on it. Derek needed to leave the place he still had nightmares about.
He doesn't find anyone to replace Stiles. He lives a pretty lonely life. He stays connected with the sheriff, who comes and visits every so often. He's ready to retire soon. And the pack comes by too. They're all married and having kids.
His life isn't what he wants it to be. But he has good moments. Those are the ones he looks forward to.
To be continued...