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Wu Yanzi pulled him into the alley with a harshness Shen Jiu was all too used to. Before the boy could even ask what was happening, Wu Yanzi’s dry hand had slapped over his mouth and he pointed to the street.
Walking down was a man in white robes, a Daoist most likely. There was a pleasant smile on his face and his eyes were a pale green, kind but muddled. He navigated the crowd without any difficulty but didn’t seem to pay attention to any one thing or the other.
Most of all, his features were all too alike Shen Jiu’s.
Wu Yanzi whispered rough words into his ear, “I think we have a new target,” he said and Shen Jiu had already learned that nothing Wu Yanzi comes up with benefits anyone else but himself. But Shen Jiu’s hands were similarly covered in blood, so who was he to protest?
The plan was simple. Wu Yanzi had gathered some information that the Daoist was heading to a mystical temple to retrieve a precious scroll for his sect. No doubt this scroll held incredible value or some sort of cultivation secret.
Further, luck had benefitted them as the Daoist had planned to meet up with one of his martial brothers here – someone who he had never met. It was up to Shen Jiu to play that role. Wu Yanzi would take care of the real one when it came to it.
Though they weren’t able to get their hands on any white robes, Wu Yanzi insisted that the pale colored disciple’s robes he’d pilfered a while ago would be enough to play the role accurately. Especially considering that the man in question wouldn’t even be able to see them. Shen Jiu figured that if he had been able to survive, subservient, under Qiu Jianluo for those years, he’d be able to pull this off.
The Daoist had ended up at a nice inn rather than a temple. Around a shichen after he entered, Shen Jiu walked into the building. He tried his best to look humble and inquisitive. He didn’t have to do much acting after that; the inn keeper seemed to notice him immediately and put together ‘who he must be.’ She declared that the two of them must have been brothers to look so similar and immediately sent him to the immortal’s room.
He bowed and thanked her, hiding the smirk on his face, before he turned around to knock on the door.
Before his knuckles even hit against the wood, the door swung open revealing the man from before. From afar, he’d seemed untouchable and mature. But up close, he didn’t look much older than Shen Jiu.
“Shidi?” he asked.
“Yes, this one is honored to meet his shixiong,” he says with another short bow. They give short introductions and the man lets him into the room without any other questions.
According to the plan, he will follow along with his ‘shixiong’ until they get close to the location of the scroll. Then Shen Jiu is to rip the talisman he’s been provided and Wu Yanzi will show up shortly after.
Shen Yuan was unlike any Daoist Shen Jiu has ever heard of. The first day, when they left before the sun had even left because he ‘sensed a demonic cultivator in the area’ was the most self-restraint
They’d been traveling around for two days and haven’t stopped at a temple or eaten a single ‘simple’ meal. It’s clear that rather than anything of a spiritual man, he was meant to be a young master instead.
But that doesn’t say anything about his character. Though he may lean towards being more indolent in his life, he truly does extend his kindness to everyone he meets. The person who receives the most of that is Shen Jiu himself.
The last time he was treated so well was when he was with Yue Qi. The last time there was any care given to him, it was so long ago. He had nearly forgotten how to accept it. And he knew Shen Yuan was just supposed to be a easy mark, but when he was treated like this, it’s easy to forget.
“Shidi, are you almost ready to leave?” Shen Yuan asked as he ran his hands over the table, checking for anything left over. And Shen Jiu was ready, but Shen Yuan absolutely was not.
“Shixiong, should this one do your hair?” came out of Shen Jiu’s mouth before he can even think. He doesn’t owe this man anything but when he looked at the mess he’s made of it, something shriveled in his gut.
Shen Yuan tended to leave his hair down, only tying back a few strands, but now his hair was in a lopsided ponytail – completely ruining his image.
Shen Yuan frowned, a furrow between his brows, “Does it look bad?”
Shen Jiu didn’t understand how he can easily navigate through a crowded street of people without his shoulder brushing against a single person, but he still didn’t know how to put up his own hair. “Like a toddler did it,” came out before he realized a proper shidi wouldn’t say such things to his shixiong, “Ah, this-“
But before he could apologize, Shen Yuan started to laugh, “Fair enough. If shidi wouldn’t mind helping this shixiong, it would be appreciated,” he said before sitting at the chair. His posture was upright and his fingers were graceful as he undid the ribbon from his hair.
Despite their similar visages, Shen Yuan was everything Shen Jiu was not. He had the inbuilt grace Shen Jiu could only dream of. Shen Jiu’s insides roiled against that thought. Why didn’t he get the same chances? Why did he have to crawl and scrape through the mud?
But then he looks at the man. With him sitting, back turned and open, he offers so much trust. And Shen Jiu deserves none of it at all. He’s not the shidi Shen Yuan had been waiting for. He tricked a blind man and then dared to bask in his kindness.
Still, his body carried him forward to finger comb through his hair. At least it wasn’t tangled. It seemed his shixiong could at least comb through it. He takes the ribbon from his shixiong’s hand and works it into a neater ponytail.
“Shixiong doesn’t have a guan or hairpin?” he inquired, thinking that a ponytail would be much easier with one.
“It’s too much of a bother. Most of the time I don’t have a kind shidi to help me with it,” he answered, turning around with a grin.
This was the hardest part of pretending to be someone he had no knowledge of, he was not sure how much he should know about Shen Yuan. Did his shixiong ever return to the main sect? Or was he usually wandering on his own?
“Is shixiong alone by choice?” is what he decided on.
“Hm, as shidi knows, this one is not the easiest to travel with. Nor does this one have nay lofty goals for his cultivation or standing. This makes it hard to find a companion,” he said.
It was kind of a vague answer. But Shen Yuan was a vague sort of person – never committing to one standard or another. Just the other day, as they walked through the market, Shen Jiu had to pull him away from a tasty smelling cart of meat buns. Could he not even commit to the most basic harmonies?
“Which is why this shixiong is so grateful shidi has joined him on his mission,” he said.
That twisting in his gut came back with those words and he tried to push it down. He’d just have to put up with it until they got to the scroll. Thanks to their leaving so early on the first day, he didn’t think Wu Yanzi was able to track them thus far.
It would be up to him to pull this off.
A rush of spiritual energy brushed by Shen Jiu’s ear, just stopping the blade heading towards his neck. The person behind it was sent flying and Shen Jiu stared at the space where the blade used to be.
His sage green eyes were shaking when he said, “Shen Jiu? Are you…” as if he was too scared to ask. Slowly, he turned to Shen Yuan who just saved his life.
The second Shen Jiu moved, Shen Yuan’s body let go of its tension, “Come here, shidi,” and it came out more like he was begging.
Shen Jiu scrambled to his feet and moved to Shen Yuan, “Who was that?”
And when Shen Yuan put his hands on Shen Jiu’s shoulders and felt to make sure there were no injuries, Shen Jiu didn’t even flinch away. The touch felt grounding.
“In my travels, well, sometimes I step on people’s feet. I have… hm… an knack for finding rare artifacts and plants. It draws the wrong attention,” he said.
The words were like a blade to his throat and suddenly it was hard to breathe, “That must have scared you, huh? Do you mind if I check your qi?” he asked.
Shen Jiu barely remembered nodding but when he feels Shen Yuan’s qi run through his veins it feels… nice. He didn’t know it was supposed to feel that way. But Shen Yuan frowns.
“Is something wrong?”
“Yes, I- this shixiong, well, shidi, you’re crippling yourself by cultivating like this,” Shen Yuan said, his voice was lighter and faster than usual, “It’s-“
But Shen Jiu didn’t hear what he said next. All he can think is that this is where it ends. Shen Yuan is surely going to realize that he’s an imposter and not from his sect at all. Then Shen Yuan will abandon him and-
His thoughts kept spiraling until the flow of Shen Yuan’s qi cuts out, “This shixiong will take you to the Waterfalls of Clear Mind. Four days of cultivating there will set you back on track and we’ll cover the foundations again,” Shen Yuan said, “There’s no reason this has to hold you back.”
He- Shen Yuan didn’t notice? Shen Jiu could stay with him?
It isn’t until later that night, at their fancy inn, does Shen Jiu realize that he didn’t even consider that their ‘heist’ could fail. He was only worried that he would be abandoned once again.
That kind of trust was terrifying.
Shen Jiu was not in good shape after the Waterfall of Clear Mind. His entire cultivation system had been reshaped and clarified and his body had yet to catch up. Instead of heading to an inn, Shen Yuan had broken into a nearby cabin to help nurse Shen Jiu back to health.
His recovery passed in flashes of care.
One moment, Shen Yuan would be feeding him the most watery, flavorless congee. And yet Shen Jiu would accept it with hungry lips – always taking as much as he could from the older boy.
Next, Shen Yuan’s hands would be running through his hair – keeping it untangled. His fingers were warm against Shen Jiu’s scalp and ever so gentle with his locks.
“Shixiong,” Shen Jiu had whispered through his fever, “You won’t leave me, right?”
“I could never leave my favorite shidi,” Shen Yuan said.
“And what if I were someone else?”
“This Shen Yuan would still accept you. Would you do the same for me?”
“Shen Yuan is Shen Yuan, no one else.”
Shen Jiu felt himself smile when Shen Yuan laughed at that, “You’re right about that,” he said.
When he started to become more aware of himself and his surroundings, he took stock of where he was. It didn’t seem like this was just a cabin Shen Yuan ‘broke in to.’ Instead, he seemed like he knew intimately where everything was – like it was his home.
He brought over a small cup of tea for Shen Jiu to sip – likely made of rare herbs that hadn’t been sighted in millennia, “Small sips is okay,” he said in a gentle voice. It made him feel like he was the doted upon young master. He worked on sipping the tea and Shen Yuan stroked a hand up and down his back.
“Shen Jiu, I don’t think you should go back to your Shizun,” Shen Yuan told him mid sip. It was only by virtue of his prior pretending that he doesn’t spit out the drink in his mouth.
When Shen Jiu doesn’t answer, he continued, “You have the most potential I’ve ever seen, but your Shizun was sabotaging you. If you wanted, you could travel with me to Cang Qiong and we could attempt to join or take on some more official work for the connections.”
“Why?” Why would he throw away his entire sect for Shen Jiu? Why would he put so much value on a dirty little nothing? Was it merely for sake of being his shidi? Would he have done this for whoever would have joined him in Shen Jiu’s place? The place he took for himself?
“You deserve it, that’s why,” is all Shen Yuan said in response.
And suddenly, Shen Jiu felt far too tired to continue the conversation.
“Do you want to see it?” Shen Yuan asked him.
But Shen Jiu didn’t want to even look at it. The talisman he kept in his sleeve burned against his skin. He should have gotten rid of it ages ago.
Without waiting for his answer, Shen Yuan pushed the scroll into his hands. Shen Jiu almost dropped it right then and there.
The two of them had been traveling for months. Somewhere along the way, he started dreaded finding the scroll that started it all. He looked at the weathered paper like it would explode in his hands.
Wu Yanzi wanted him to rip the talisman in his sleeve. But doing that would ruin everything. Shen Yuan would never trust him again.
“You should open it up, shidi,” Shen Yuan said. The Shen Jiu a few months ago had considered this gentleness a weakness. But now, he saw that even when Shen Yuan could bend, he would never break.
He was firm in his belief of his values and character, even if it was wrong (which it often was). Shen Yuan could judge someone’s character in a second flat, but couldn’t see himself even if he were on the outside looking in.
“Shixiong, this one is-“
“Awww, did you get attached?” a sickly sweet voice came from the entrance to the cave, “And here I had thought you were just an outstanding actor. But it seems like my disciple has gotten himself carried away,”
Shen Jiu turned, all the blood had drained to the floor, Wu Yanzi was here. The talisman was safe and unripped in his sleeve but he’d still been found out, “How-“ is all he got out before being intercepted.
Shen Yuan grabbed him by the shoulder and put Shen Jiu behind him to face the demonic cultivator, “Wu Yanzi. It’s been a while,” Shen Yuan’s voice was low and rumbled at the end of his sentence.
“Hand over the scroll and the disciple, or just the scroll if you’ve gotten just as attached to the parasite,” Wu Yanzi said in a commanding voice. He walked closer to them in the winding pattern he always used against enemies. Shen Jiu had never seen it from this perspective before.
“Shen Jiu,” his shixiong started, voice void of emotion, “Hand me the scroll.”
It scared him, how little Shen Jiu could read the man when he was like this. He had no clue what Shen Yuan would do. Would he give him up for his trickery? Still, he holds out the paper for Shen Yuan to grab from him. With a little bit of qi, he throws the scroll across the cave and Wu Yanzi catches it.
“Shen Jiu, you’ll stay with that madman, I assume?”
He found his voice and asked, “How did you find us? I never ripped the talisman.”
“And you never would have, I know how Shen Yuan’s tricks work. Which is why it was a tracking talisman and not one for signaling,” Wu Yanzi explained.
Shen Jiu took a step forward and Shen Yuan stopped him with a hand against his chest, “Don’t talk to him anymore,”
“And just let him take the scroll we’ve worked so hard to find?”
“Shen Jiu is worth ten of that scroll, if Wu Yanzi can’t see that, it’s not our problem,” Shen Yuan said confidently. He voice is still as firm as it was when he spoke to Wu Yanzi but he said it a bit lower in pitch.
It sent chills down Shen Jiu’s arms.
So, they stand there and watch Wu Yanzi walk away with the very thing that had brought them together.
“I’ve been lying to you,” Shen Jiu starts after he tore out the talisman and burned it to ash. He looked at Shen Yuan who seemed as at peace as he always did, “I’m not your shidi, Wu Yanzi probably killed them. What will you do?”
Shen Yuan walked over and fumbled until he could put one comforting hand on top of Shen Jiu’s head, “You’re not the only one who has been lying, shidi,” except the last word sounded a bit different than usual, “Everything Wu Yanzi told you at the inn was a lie I had told to the inn keeper.”
What… “And you just let me believe it? Why?”
“When I first got my second chance at life, I was lucky enough to have someone guide me to the right path,” he explained, it’s the first time he’s ever sounded remotely like a Daoist, “I wanted to make sure you had that chance as well.”
“How could you have told that lie for me when we hadn’t even met yet?” Shen Jiu demanded to know.
“Remember what I said? I have a talent for finding treasures like you,” Shen Yuan said with a grin, “We don’t have to return to my sect or even go to Cang Qiong. I’ll go anywhere as long as it’s with Shen Jiu,” he promised.
He promised.
Did that mean Shen Yuan was his now? Even with the lies confronted, Shen Yuan still wanted him at the center of his life.
He grabs the man’s white robes and pulls him in to stop the burning in his chest. With their lips pressed together and his hands in the man’s pristine robes and hair, he feels the anxiety quell. He can make his mark on this man in a way that will never fade. He’s certain of it.
When they release, Shen Yuan seems a little shocked as he puts his fingers to his lips, “Oh, a-Jiu thinks-“
Sensing that he was going to say something stupid, he pulls him in for another and pushes him against the wall of the cave, “Shen Yuan can never abandon me. I won’t allow it,” he snarls into the lead of another kiss, Shen Yuan just nods his head against their locked lips.
Certain that he got the message, Shen Jiu relaxed against him, “What about the scroll? If that was a lie, then what did we just unearth?”
“Hm?” Shen Yuan asked a little suspiciously.
“Wasn’t it important?”
“Not so much. I was just curious. I’m still not sure what he’ll do with my shopping list from so many years ago,” Shen Yuan answers.
Shen Jiu gaped at that answer. They did all of that for a shopping list?