Chapter Text
It’s there on the wind: rumors and half-whispers from ANBU shadows in the backs of alleys and in the quiet of jounin meeting rooms. Started during the war with Pein and Obito. Boosted by tales bought home by travelers and peddlers. Stories of a man, no — a boy — no — a child with red eyes crying tears of blood as he drops enemy after enemy at his feet. Stories of a ghost erasing the evil of the world. Stories of a warrior who killed the strongest of Akatsuki only to disappear amidst the smoke of battle.
Kakashi tries not to think too much of these stories. Tries to close his ears and his eyes to all the signs and tells and could-be proof because he doesn’t think his heart can take it anymore (because hope is far too fragile). But that doesn’t stop him from flinching whenever he sees a too-black shadow in the corner of his eye. Doesn’t keep him from wishing.
.
They find ROOT.
Things start to make sense.
.
He tells Gai first because Gai has always been better at these things than him.
It helps that Gai doesn’t think he’s crazy. “If my eternal rival says it’s so, it’s so.” Gai smiles up at him. Even bound to a wheel chair, Gai still looks far too large for life and Kakashi answers him with an equally genuine, though smaller, smile. “Do you think he’s here?”
Kakashi doesn’t know and says as much. “He must know ROOT has been dissolved. Why doesn’t he show himself?”
Gai thinks on this for a moment. “Perhaps he does not know how.”
Gai, Kakashi thinks, has always been very good with words.
…
They lose Sasuke like this:
Kakashi has been reborn for two weeks when he receives a summon from the newly-appointed Rodikage and goes because he has to. He has little respect for this man. He has even less patience. But Kakashi will bow to the will of the village in this matter. He is a shinobi, after all. Lord Danzo does not mince words, does not try to soften the blow. He hands him Sasuke’s sword—his because Kakashi can feel the remnants of lightning chakra just barely contained within its steel and he knows that chakra, had nurtured it as it had just barely begun to leave its infancy—along with a scroll and says he has a forty-eight hour mourning period as is customary after the death of a loved one. Kakashi bows and leaves through the door.
He feels numb.
He goes to Sakura first because he does not know how to tell Naruto. He does not know what he can say to soften the blow after they have lost so much, but perhaps Sakura, with all her medic-nin training and practice at telling the truth after a particularly risky surgery, will know something. She takes one look at his face and at the sword still held in his hands and throws herself to the ground, screaming. The walls shake. The floor shakes. Somewhere in the distance someone is shouting something and Kakashi does the only thing he can. He straps the sword to his side, grabs Sakura and makes for the remaining forest around Konoha.
He stands a safe distance away and watches her cry herself out. When she is done, he approaches and touches her shoulder cautiously. She sniffles and looks up at him and Kakashi is reminded, startlingly, of the Sakura who told her she’s going to study under Tsunade-sama the day Naruto left the village. There is a will of fire in her eyes. “How do we tell Naruto?” she asks.
Kakashi enters through the window for the sake of tradition. Sakura picks the lock because she is polite. Naruto squawks in protest, turns red, and breaths in deep. Kakashi steps back, preparing himself for the screaming that is bound to start because as he grows older Naruto only seems to gain more and more of Kushina’s temperament. Then Naruto suddenly deflates. “What’s wrong?”
Kakashi places the sword on the kitchen the table and pulls out the scroll because he doesn’t know what words to say.
“No,” Naruto whispers, running a single finger along the scabbard. “No. No. No…”
Kakashi opens the scroll and summarizes what he’s already read. “He was found after a confrontation with the now-deceased Itachi Uchiha. He fell to battle wounds. The civilian who found his body was too late.”
Naruto is still chanting “no, no, no, no, no” under his breath, and Sakura sobs, trying to still her shaking shoulders. For now, Kakashi continues to feel oddly calm. After all… what is one more heart break (one more failure)?
“At least,” Sakura says between chocked sobs, “he accomplished his goal.”
Kakashi nods.
Naruto shakes his head, “It’s not right,” he says, “It’s… He was supposed to come home.” With a suddenness that catches everyone off guard, Naruto grabs the plate he’d been eating from and throws it across the room so it cracks against the wall with an ear-shattering crash. “HE WAS SUPPOSED TO COME HOME!” Naruto screams and flips the table, but not before Kakashi can rescue Sasuke’s sword. Breathing hard, Naruto snarls at nothing.
Sakura reaches out carefully and Kakashi watches as she wraps her arms around Naruto’s heaving chest. “I know,” she whispers. “It’s not right.”
The fight leaves Naruto just as quickly as it came and he breaks into ugly, noisy sobs. He wraps his arms around Sakura and repeats into her hair, “He was supposed to come home.”
Kakashi steps forward, unsure. But still, he wrap his arms around both of them, and closes his eyes as they cry. If Obito’s eye cries with them then no one is the wiser.
.
Forty-eight hours later, Kakashi, Sakura, and Naruto return to the field. Konoha is preparing for war. Konoha needs to be rebuilt. They have been given their time to mourn.
The first time Gai sees him after, he asks for a challenge and Kakashi is quick to comply. He doesn’t want to think.
.
The next time he thinks, Tsunade-sama is leading the charge with Naruto at her right and Kakashi at her left. The other Hokage fall in line around them. The battlefield falls quiet. In front of him stands the true leader, the remaining members of the Atasuki, several reborn Atasuki, and the army they’ve amassed.
As Kakashi charges his kunai, he thinks absently, It has been a long time since I’ve been on the front lines.
After that, there isn’t time to think. Kakashi ducks and cuts down another one of his opponents and spins. The enemy seems never-ending and the blood feels sticky between his fingers. Sweat drips down the back of his neck as he sweeps the feet out from under another ninja and watches their head hit the ground with the right kind of crack before stabbing another between the third and fourth rib. Efficient. Effective. This is how Kakashi gained his legacy. This is a battlefield he is familiar with. Obito’s eye throbs from use.
In the distance Gai charges, his kicks just as deadly as any kunai and Kakashi makes his way towards his oldest friend. There is a safety in watching each other’s backs. And Kakashi has always trusted Gai to watch his back. It is there, amongst the chaos, that he sees it: a long, black-haired ANBU charging forward, wielding lightning from his fingertips as easily as Kakashi’s own lightning dances across his skin, taking down any enemy who crosses his path. It is enough to make him pause, enough to make him lose his balance before he rights himself and dodge a series of quick strikes from an enemy on his left. When he is safe enough, Kakashi desperately spins, trying to catch another glance. Because for a moment, just for a moment, he could have sworn he’d seen Sasuke smile at him.
But then the battle resumes and he thinks no more.
.
In the end, they win. Naruto stabs his hand through Obito’s chest (Obito, Obito, Obito, why? Why when you were supposed to be so much… more than this — charred remains on a battlefield instead of a symbol of hope, of peace, of everything I’ve ever strived for — friendship, love, protection…) and the remainder of the army flees when the last of Atasuki was brought down by an unnamed ANBU with a lightning blade.
.
This is where the rumors start.
.
Tsuande-sama hands him the hat, wishes him luck with all the kindness she can spare him before she returns to her hospital.
It sits heavy on his head as he looks out upon the slowly rebuilding Konoha. Naruto reassures him, makes him promise to “keep the hat warm” for him. Sakura says they’ll help. He appreciates it.
He takes a deep breath and sits down in the chair he’s been running from since the third died and tries not to think of Minato-sensei, tries not think about Obito whose dream it had been to be Hokage before he threw it all away. Instead, for just a moment, he thinks about the son he almost had and wishes, with all his heart, for just one more chance for Team Seven to be whole.
When no one answers him, he sighs and opens his eyes. Let the next generation have a better chance, he thinks bitterly. Let this cycle end.
…
They find Sasuke like this:
Kakashi honestly discovers ROOT by accident. He has never liked Danzo and it is no secret in Konoha that there is no love lost between the two. But when the Third had disbanded the secret branch of ANBU, Kakashi had, like most of ANBU, believed the group gone. So when some of his own try to assassinate him, he does the only smart thing he can do: he investigates.
It’s disturbing how much of what has gone wrong in Kakashi’s life somehow connects to Danzo. It is safe to say he now hates the man. The arrest of Danzo is swift and remorseless. The trial equally brutal. Death sentence by the hands of Ibiki and Co is the least Kakashi can do.
(He is not the Third. He does not forgive.)
But even with him dead, there is still too much to do. Finding out how deep ROOT has sunk its festering claws into Konoha genuinely terrifies Kakashi. When he finds its members, broken children all of them, Kakashi goes home and cries himself to sleep because this is his Konoha, but it is also not. Because his Konoha would have never allowed for something so… so…
Finding the truth about the Uchiha Massacre is too much. “How?” Kakashi whispers, sorting through the documents Tenzo has brought him, “How could the Third allow this?”
Tenzo has no words for him.
Kakashi goes to Sakura first, because of course he does. He tells her between rounds of gin and she holds his hand while he shakes. The next morning, Kakashi wakes with a hangover for the first time in seven years to find Sakura sitting somberly in the living room, the ROOT documents spread around her in a half circle. Not for the first time Kakashi thinks, Sakura is the strongest of us all. When she looks at Kakashi, her eyes are bloodshot.
“We have to tell the truth,” she says, “for Sasuke.”
Kakashi closes his eyes and slowly nods.
When they tell Naruto, Kakashi expects him to rage, to flip the table, to punch a hole in the wall, to scream. To do something. But Naruto just stares and stares, stays still and silent in the wake of their news. It looks wrong. It feels wrong. Finally, he takes a deep, staggered breath and closes his eyes. “This would have killed him,” Naruto confesses.
“What?”
“Sasuke…” Naruto whispers, “He loved his brother and he killed his brother. But in the end…”
“In the end, Itachi Uchiha was just another victim,” Kakashi concludes.
Sakura starts crying. Quiet broken sobs as she hides her face in her hands.
“In the end…” Naruto says to no one and then he spins and punches a hole in the wall. “Gods…” he hisses. “He never even had a chance.” Naruto is shaking. “He never even… I just wanted him home and happy. I just didn’t want him to be alone anymore. Was that too much to ask? Was that…”
Kakashi stares at the ground, lost. How does he comfort them? How should he salvage this? Can he when he feels the same despair? It’s not fair, Kakashi thinks as he hears his team fall apart (again), it’s not fair.
.
The public doesn’t take it well. There are calls for the council’s head. Calls that Kakashi answers with their public removal from office. But it isn’t enough.
(Nothing will ever be enough.)
He pardons Itachi, pardons Sasuke. Has their names added to the memorial stone. Naruto carves Sasuke’s personally in an attempt at closure, but Kakashi doesn’t know if it works. He traces the name with a finger. Tomorrow a professional will come to make it pretty and the lines will smooth out.
How many names? Kakashi thinks, stepping back to look at the memorial stone. How many names will I see added before my own?
He aches. He aches with every battle he has ever fought. He aches with every war he has ever won. And he aches with weight of every friend he has ever lost. He is tired. Never before has Kakashi felt so very tired.
.
ROOT, Kakashi has come to realize a month into their investigations, is less like an organization and more like an infection that has been left to fester within the heart of Konoha. It will take time to clear away the rot.
Around him the various leaders of the five great nations attempt to keep their heads as Kakashi quietly asks for their patients as Konoha attempts to settle its affairs. “I doubt,” Kakashi says after a moment of silence, “that we are the only ones who need to clean house before we can truly settle into this era of peace.” He holds each of their gazes for a moment, a silent reminder of the spies and mercenaries Konoha has found amongst its ranks in the last few months, and smiles.
In the end, the signing of several particularly controversial amendments to the peace charter regarding information sharing is left to be voted on for another year.
.
It’s Tenzo that brings it to his attention. But it’s Sai who makes it a possibility. Finding out Sai was in ROOT wasn’t as big a surprise as he thought it would be. It certainly explained a fair amount. So Kakashi wastes no time getting Sai and a few other loyal former ROOT members working on shuffling through the rooster and mission reports, looking for the remaining unknown members to call the home.
Three months after the project begins, Sai discovers an operative named Hawk. No registaration number. No reference to a civilian name. Just Hawk. He’s a recent recruit (one of the few not trained from birth) tasked with the long term mission of discovering and eliminating threats towards Konoha and its Hokage; Hawk’s mission reports are brief and, at times, useless. Only their hospital reports appear to have any details. It is there that Sai discovers a clue. An eye surgery. Specifically an eye surgery involving the eyes of one Itachi Uchiha.
“It could mean nothing,” Tenzo warns when Kakashi is too silent for too long. “It doesn’t have to be an Uchiha.”
Kakashi sets the report down slowly as if any sudden movement might be too much of a strain. “Have you heard the rumors?”
Tenzo says nothing.
“Of the ghost crying tears of blood for every enemy they destroy?” Kakashi whispers. “Of the ANBU that took down the reincarnated Deidara and Sasori during the war? The ANBU who aided Naruto in the last leg of the war…”
“Kakashi,” Tenzo warns gently.
Kakashi’s heart is beating too fast and his breath is coming in just a little too short. He doesn’t know if he’s overjoyed or panicking. He wonders if at one point they start to feel the same. “It could be…” Kakashi starts and then cuts himself off. Hope is dangerous. Hope hurts. But… he wants to. He wants to.
“Don’t do anything rash,” Tenzo orders.
Kakashi nods.
.
He tells Gai first.
Gai pats him on the shoulder, wishes him good luck, and reminds him he’s here for him.
This, Kakashi thinks, is why Gai is my best friend.
.
Sakura says they can’t tell Naruto and Kakashi agrees.
Naruto, Kakashi thinks, is not ready for hope.
(Kakashi thinks neither is he.)
It had been hard watching Naruto destroy himself; carve off piece after piece until he was the very perfect picture of what a future Hokage should be. Kind, patient, and unmovable. He’d thrown himself into politics, clawing his way to an apprenticeship under Shika Nara to learn strategy and politics. Gone, it seemed, was the loud brat Kakashi had come to see, in his own way, as family. In his place stood a man. And if at times Kakashi saw Sasuke in Naruto’s smirk, underhand barns and stubborn set of the jaw then there was little Kakashi could do to stop it.
(Kakashi knew all too well the appeal and burden of living for two. But… if hope could turn into reality—and when had Kakashi ever been so lucky?—perhaps he could remove that temptation from Naruto.)
But for now they look for clues of where Hawk is stationed. Sai says it is possible that not all of ROOT knows it is technically disbanded. “We’ve discovered operations running in the background for years with little to no input from Danzo-sama,” Sai admits, “some for so long that they did not know the Third attempted to shut down the program to begin with.”
“Some,” Yamato points out, ever the rationalist, “we might not even want to close. This operative is working in intelligence, correct?”
“And take-downs,” Sakura adds, shuffling through a few pages. “You’ve seen the hospital reports. Hawk has removed entire armies before Konoha even knew about them.”
This is where Kakashi steps in, “Even if it is useful, every shinobi is given the right to turn down a mission. ROOT has removed that right. That is not how I will run my Konoha.” He gives Yamato a measured glance before turning to Sai. “Get me in contact with these operatives. They have a right to their history. And leave the files. I’ll discuss which ones to keep with the Council next Tuesday.”
With that, he picks up his brush and it’s as clear a dismissal as they’re going to get.
.
It is three weeks later when Kakashi is coming home from tea country after far too many hours with their daimyo, renegotiating the taxes on shipments relative to the men assigned to protecting the port cities from an influx of mist pirates, when he sees him. The assassination attempt is nothing to sneer at. The fact that they get the drop on his men (two former ANBU, one ANBU, and two Special Jounin) is a testament to their skill alone. And it doesn’t help that their numbers overwhelm them two to one. Clearly, Kakashi thinks, whoever wants me dead is paying very well.
It is in the midst of battle that Kakashi sees him once again: long black hair, porcelain-white mask with bird of prey markings along the edges, and lightning dancing from his fingertips. And Kakashi knows that chakra, had known it in its infancy and now again as it reaches adulthood: the quiet hum before the storm so perfectly mimicking his own. He downs the enemies closest to him with three shocks around the heart and a kunai to the throat, trying to clear a path.
As the enemies become manageable from ten to four to one, Kakashi abandons the battle, throws down a series of mud walls in an attempt to cage him in. “Hawk,” Kakashi calls out as Hawk shatters one wall and then another, hesitating for only a moment before taking to the trees.
Kakashi wastes no time following. He will not lose his student again. He will not let Sasuke leave again. The chase is long. One hour. Two. The foliage is thick in these woods and Hawk knows them better than him. As Kakashi drops down from the trees to reorient himself, Kakashi calls out, “Come home, Sasuke.”
But Sasuke does not answer him. It is only when he can no longer sense the familiar hum of lightning on the wind that Kakashi admits defeat, slowing and then, inevitably, returning to his comrades. None are injured beyond the normal bruising or small cuts. And they are all kind enough not to comment.
.
Kakashi tells them the minute he returns to the village. Sakura is the only one who believes him.
“I do not understand,” Sai says. “If he is close, why does he not reveal himself?”
“Is that important?” Sakura snaps. The bags under her eyes have deepened since the last time Kakashi has seen her and he knows she has another rotation at the hospital coming up. Caught between her two teachers, Kakashi muses. He makes a note to tell Tsunade-sama she needs to rest. At this rate, she’ll make a mistake.
Sai seems upset by this remark (or as upset as Sai tends to be, but Yamato has done wonders for the boy). “You and dickless rarely seem to consider the traitor’s motives. How is that a good strategy for bringing him back?”
Sakura snarls, “Don’t fucking call him that.”
Sai smiles. “Call who what? Dickless or tra-.”
“Don’t,” Kakashi cuts in, silencing both of them. “Sai, check ANBU records. It might be possible he’s been entering the building without us aware. And let Yamato know I need a report on Council feelings. I’m not going into another session concerning ROOT blind. Sakura, you’re with me.”
Sai nods and calmly leaves through the west window. He’s gotten better at not simply body flickering away and Kakashi has no ground to stand on when it comes to convincing the boy to use a door. Sakura collects her coat as Kakashi stands and takes off his hat.
“Where are we going?” she asks, following Kakashi out the door.
Kakashi nods to the two ANBU at the door, telling them to stand down and stay. “We’re going to tell Naruto.”
.
They find Naruto stepping out of the Mission Report office, traveler’s pack secured on his shoulders, and munching on a chocolate chip cookie. When he spots them standing half in the shade of a large oak discussing quietly amongst themselves, he says, “Hey guys!”
He’s grinning, Kakashi notes, instead of that half-smile that he’s adopted from Sasuke. His outfit is more black than orange these days, but his backpack is toad-green with smiling frogs patterned on the outside and it’s the most Naruto thing Kakashi has ever seen. Kakashi asks, “Are you going on a mission?”
Naruto nods and launches into an explanation of the diplomatic mission for which he has to visit Sand. Kakashi remembers signing off on it, but he’d left the lead diplomat up to Shikamaru. He’d picked well.
“Naruto…” Sakura cuts in as Naruto winds down from his explanation and Kakashi tries not to fidget. Not for the first time does he feel guilty for keeping Naruto out of the loop for so long when the rest of Team Seven had known, but it was necessary. He knows that. But he also knows Naruto will not appreciate it.
Naruto’s grin wavers, as he looks her in the eye. “Why is it whenever you two come to me, I know something awful is about to happen?”
Kakashi looks away and he hears Sakura sigh. “Kakashi-sensei…” she urges and Kakashi takes a deep breath.
“Sasuke is alive.”
“That’s not funny,” Naruto snaps almost immediately. There is a moment of silence as Sakura fidgets next to him and Kakashi braces himself. When Naruto looks back at them, he’s glaring is all Sasuke, “That isn’t funny,” he emphasizes.
“There is a ROOT operative: Hawk,” Kakashi explains. “No civilian name or registration number. Tasked with the finding and removal of all threats towards Konoha and her Hokage.” He clears his throat. “He has Itachi’s eyes.”
Naruto takes a deep breath, screws his eyes shut, and grits his teeth. From the tension in his shoulders to his clenched fists, Kakashi knows he is trying to hold in his scream. When he speaks, his voice is hoarse. “That isn’t him,” Naruto insists.
“I saw him,” Kakashi adds.
Naruto punches the tree. Kakashi and Sakura do not flinch. They had expected this. When he removes his hand, his knuckles are bloody. “Then why hasn’t he told anyone? ROOT has been disbanded for half a year now.”
This is where Sakura steps in, “We think he can’t? Some kind of seal or memory loss? When Kakashi-sensei met him, he didn’t seem to recognize his name.”
“That’s not…possible…” Naruto shakes his head. Naruto, Kakashi thinks, has realized how fragile hope is. “It isn’t enough.”
“Don’t you know the rumors,” Kakashi whispers, “of the ANBU with red eyes and a lightning blade? Who helped end the war?”
Naruto says nothing.
“Of the shadow who ended the Cloud Rebellion before it could start? The man who brought in two Konoha missing-nin who’d managed to steal a Byakugan?”
Naruto is shaking, breathing harsh, and Sakura reaches out with steady hands but he steps away. She tries to conceal the hurt on her face.
“The boy who put down the remaining Akatsuki forces in the months that followed the war?”
There is another moment of silence before Naruto looks Kakashi in the eye and snarls, “I’m going after him.” There is determination etched into every line on his face and it has been a long time since Kakashi has seen Naruto look so very… Naruto. The Will of Fire burns in his eyes.
“Your mission?” Kakashi asks though he doesn’t really mean it. He knows Naruto will go. He expects Naruto to go.
“Send Gaara my apologies,” Naruto says, handing Kakashi the mission scroll.
“How do you know he isn’t in the village?” Sakura points out.
Naruto laughs, a little bitter, “Because he hasn’t visited me in weeks.”