Chapter Text
Of all things Adam knew about himself, was proud of, being a good dad wasn't always it.
He was the first man, the first mortal father, and he had no clue what he was doing most the time, he'd been learning as he went being a parent without any guidance.
And while Adam never admitted his mistakes anymore, ignored them as best he could in hopes they'd go away, because angels didn't MAKE mistakes…
Despite how many centuries passed him by, he'd never be able to forget how his first born had been the first ever murderer, and how his second son had been the first victim of said murder.
What had he done so wrong for such a thing to happen?
What could he have done differently?
To prevent his sweet Sugarcane from doing such a thing? To protect innocent Abel? To keep Eve from ever seeing such a sight?
He debated it every night for almost a century, till Seth was born. His heir.
The replacement.
It was supposed to be either Cain or Abel, but Abel was dead and Cain was banished and his brother's killer-
He tried to do better with all the rest of his kids, and Slowly over time he did get better. He stopped making some mistakes, didn't have favorites. He was both kind and firm to them all, no exceptions. It couldn't happen again, it wouldn't happen again.
Yet… with the amount of children he had, inevitably, it did. With his sons and daughters and his grandchildren and beyond…
What mistakes could have been avoided this time?
At this point he was simply stretched too thin, thousands of children…even more grandchildren. It became too difficult to give equal attention to them all, so he focused on the younger ones.
But this just let the older children do as they wanted.
Eve had tried to help, Seth tried to help too, but even with the 3 of them and some of the other responsible older adult children, it still wasn't enough sometimes.
Adam wasn't always a good father, a strong father or a wise one either. That came with age, and even as he got older he was never perfect. And it wasn't something he was always proud of.
When he died…
When he died he wasn't the first person there.
That's where he saw Abel for the first time in 9 centuries.
His son, his sweet 2nd son had waited for him at the gate before he entered Heaven himself, so did a few of his other unfortunate children who perished before their time, and Adam openly wept at the sight.
He'd rushed over to his son and then pulled him into the tightest hug possible.
It was his baby, his sweet boy, he was in heaven and he was alright, tearing up as well but uninjured and healthy. Having waited for him all this time.
Adam ignored how the lack of Cain hurt his heart. His eldest was dead too, he'd gotten word of it many years before. Though how it happened had never been clearly stated to him, some say one of his descendants accidentally killed him while hunting, others say that his house fell down upon him- some even going so far to say the stones from the house that fell upon him had been the same that had killed Abel hundreds of years beforehand, others said it was sickness, and other stories were passed about.
They hadn't known what death for humans truly was at the time, not before Cain had killed Abel. But Cain had still killed his brother. Someone who had been so pure, innocent and naive. And he would never be allowed into heaven for such a deed.
Adam ignored the additional knife that went through his heart at realizing he would never see his eldest again, even in death. Forced to wander the earth in life, and now forced to wander hell most likely.
Once he entered heaven with his son, and the other few children beside him that also made it to the pearly Gates, He did his best to parent them once again. It was strange dealing with so few of them though, after so many centuries of all of his children.
These specific children were good as well, almost entirely, it was almost weird to him how lacking of any evil they were, unlike how many of his children had been in life… The many children that would likely go to hell, alongside those who had been killers like Cain, the others who'd followed his example.
It was a bitter pill to swallow, to see just how few of his children made it up to heaven with him, of the thousands and thousands of children he and Eve had raised, only about a 10th had been good enough in life to reunite with him. Or perhaps a bit more, at one point he had lost count.
Had they all even deserved their fate?
It had hurt, it had hurt so badly when he realized how few of his children he had succeeded with, and how many he had failed. That the others didn't simply live longer than their siblings, that they were instead dead and in hell.
It felt even worse when he realized Eve never came, and never would come up either.
He regretted his next actions immediately after the scene he had made in front of his children and the other angels once the realization had hit him.
His wife hadn't deserved hell, he'd screamed and cried- it wasn't her fault she was tricked by Lucifer and Lilith.
He sobbed out to them that she had been GOOD in life, that she had helped him raise their countless children well, always doing her best to be kind and thoughtful and good to each one. That losing Abel and Cain hadn't quite shattered her like it had him.
She deserved heaven alongside him.
The Angels gently shushed him, tried to comfort him as best they could, as did his children- though he could see the tears in their eyes as well, as the angels explained that the sin of accepting the fruit of knowledge was simply too great it seemed, too irredeemable to allow her into heaven after her death only a year or so after his own demise. That the evil that had seeped into the world because of her action, alongside Lilith and Lucifer had doomed her to hell the moment it occurred and that they could do nothing to help her now.
He was inconsolable for days after.
It had hurt
It hurt so fucking bad
To realize his other half had been ripped from him as well, just as Cain had been. Just as the other countless children they'd raised and loved had been.
Just like how Lucifer who'd still been called Samuel at the time, and Lilith had been.
The pain was so great in his soul, that over time it began to numb him.
-
He spent the next few years always by Abel's side, or with Sera when he could be. Her presence always gave him a specific comfort he hadn't realized at the time, something he later realized was almost motherly.
Slowly though, as more and more souls entered heaven- first the rest of his children, then his grandchildren, then his great grandchildren and their children… After a while he didn't recognize the souls that entered heaven.
The children upon children of pure worthy souls he had no memories with, no connection with, he wasn't real to them, a person to them. He was-
A story.
Such thoughts almost undid him.
To see eyes look at him in confusion, in wonder, without any semblance of understanding him, never having met him before death.
It was both a blessing and a curse.
He wanted to know them, and he wanted them to know him, to connect with them- but it was difficult. And his children and the angels didn't seem to know how to help.
-
Over the years he'd also learned how to view the earth from above, how to summon viewing orbs of magic to see what his descendants did. And with the great amount of good his descendants brought, they also learned and practiced great evil. So much horror filled him at the sight of what they did, but he couldn't look away either.
And then- then one day he realized it became too much.
Too much, yet- he needed to see the worse of the worse. He needed to see it with his own 2 eyes.
And he visited hell.
The horrible cesspool that awaited him broke his already shattered heart into a million more pieces, and this time not all the shards could bring themselves back together.
The constant fighting and death, bodies cut up and tortured, blood pooling around the unfortunate sinners who didn't fight back well enough. Corpses being trampled over.
But just like with earth, he couldn't look away.
But what had hurt even worse was to realize he could recognize the sinners that had once been his children.
The once big eyed boys and girls he'd nurtured so many centuries ago. The proud faces at their first lost teeth, their first hunt, first house they built from scratch, first blanket or set of clothing they sewed together all by themselves, their first raised animal, their first words and steps.
He saw Cain.
And then Cain saw him, and he sneered at Adam. He screamed at the heavenly angel from above, cursed him and his name, cursed out The Angels in heaven and Abel.
After returning to heaven he once again openly sobbed his heart out, uncaring who saw or heard him as he screamed and sobbed, gripping at his head and almost tearing his hair out. It was only his luck that Abel had been the one to find him.
Abel tried to help, but his very presence made it all so much worse, and for the first time- though not the last, he screamed at his son to leave him be, to go.
And the anger in his voice, the look in his eyes, the demanding tone... It had frightened his poor son so bad he left without a single goodbye, scrambling to get away.
And leaving Adam on the floor in his misery.
How…pathetic.
In the weeks after, Abel avoided him.
Adam…he felt horrible and he did his best to apologize to his son in the best way he could. But It was hard when his son did his best to stay away from the other man.
And so instead he started getting his son sweet foods they could only dream of back on earth during their time alive, got him sheep plushies, blankets, a bow and arrow, even different musical instruments. Leaving each with a note for his son where he'd find them.
When he wasn't doing this, he was locked up in his room, watching hell and earth from the viewing orb. Questioning.
What could he have done?
If only he'd raised Cain better
If only Eve never bit the apple
If only Lucifer and Lilith had never given her the damned apple in the first place-
The thoughts swirled in his head constantly for days, weeks.
He'd only open the door for Sera or Seth, or for hopefully Abel. Feeling horrible as he ignored the rest of his children. Another pang going through his chest as many slowly stopped trying to get him out of his room after too many failed attempts.
Another few days or weeks passed before Abel finally approached him again. Forgiving him, and apologizing as well for whatever he'd done to upset the older man.
Adam immediately hugged him close and cried again, this time relieved, that he hadn't pushed Abel away. Telling the younger man that he had no reason to be sorry.
He stuck close to Abel's side again after.
But in the years after that things got so much worse.
-
The flood had already happened a long while back but the wars- better weapons were created, horrible inhumane tactics made to be used against friend and foe alike, then guns were invented, then bombs. Everything kept getting worse and bloodier. Crueller. Darker, so many unspeakable evils…
And hell was more than a hundred times worse.
It pained him every time he saw it, and slowly that hurt turned into anger. And that anger grew bigger everyday.
And only getting so much worse when hell tried to fight against Heaven. When Lilith tried to raise hell above heaven.
How dare she
How DARE she
Seeing any of the innocents he cared for getting hurt-
It turned that anger into HATRED
He would no longer shed tears for those in hell
And so he started to train
After the failed rebellion he realized he needed to be ready to fight if things came to it again, THEY needed to be ready
It had been a horrible battle, but this time he'd be ready
His anger seeped out of him more and more often, directed itself at those around him.
He started to pick up swearing.
He began yelling more often.
He created and trained angels for an army, something Sera agreed to, understanding that Michael would need more help in case hell decided to fight once more. Though these would be under Adams command.
Despite the anger and the hatred though, it didn't completely stop the hurt.
And in his hurt he looked for any way to stop it
He'd already played an instrument or two, learning about rock and realizing he adored it though- he started doing more, learning more instruments, falling in love with the guitar-
And then after gaining the attention of some of the winners with his music, he decided to start playing for others, doing concerts monthly then weekly, then every few days.
And with music there was finally the way to connect better with his descendants
And then he started to connect with some of them in a… different way.
He'd loved Lilith once, but she had never truly fully held his heart, that spot belonged to Eve. The woman that had loved him, truly loved him the way he had needed. The woman who had his children and helped raise them with him, the one he grew old with. The one he had learned with. The one he's still so desperately missed… but he'd been away from and without Eve for so so long…
And it'd been so long since he'd been wanted.
It ended up being too easy to fall into bed with other women. It had helped him forget for a bit.
He started to boast about himself more as well.
After everything, he needed to feel strong. To BE strong.
He started ignoring the sad looks he began to get from Abel soon after. Abel didn't need to worry about him. He was doing fine. He was the father, he should be the one doing the worrying. If he also started distancing himself from all of his children including Abel, well that was his own problem.
And he could hardly feel the pain anymore anyway, so he had to be fine right?
He ignored the sudden drop in his previously slow downward spiral he'd been on for centuries just as well as he ignored everything else.
A hell princess was born some time later, and afterwards Adam paid closer attention to Lilith.
After so many failed attempts at having children, he knew the 2 of them would want everything possible for their child.
He'd felt the same way when his children had been born.
They'd try to fight and raise up again at some point, or at least Lilith would.
He began training and sharpening the skills of his army more, spent more time with them than he did almost anywhere else- besides when he did concerts or slept with women.
His children were completely on the back burner now, and though he couldn't help but feel a bit of guilt at this fact, he didn't dare change it.
Not too much later he realized he needed a lieutenant. Someone to help him lead the army.
His mind immediately went to Seth and Abel, but Abel wasn't ready for something like that- still too sweet and- kinda a push over. And Seth… he had his own thing going on, he was already a leader of his own right. Caring for the children Adam left behind…
No. He needed someone from within the army. And there he found her, Lute. The most loyal, most ruthless, the most ready to defend and the most desperate of his approval.
She was perfect.
And so he trained her harder than the rest, with Michael’s help- he being the one who'd trained Adam himself, and soon he had his second in command.
It took a bit of time for them to work flawlessly together, but not too long after he already couldn't remember what it was like without Lute at his side. It felt… right. Like a small piece of the puzzle had finally been clicked back into place.
She also didn't…mind how he acted. How broken he didn't admit to her he was, only looked at him with even more admiration for what he's done. What he wanted to do. It almost made him cry, but he kept it in.
With the inclusion of Lute to his inner circle, he then finally visited Abel again. He… honestly hadn't seen more than 3 or 4 glances of him in a full 2 years or more by this point, Had it been closer to 5?
Not now with Lute at his side, and finally feeling a bit more whole, he felt confident enough to see his son again. He also wanted to introduce his lieutenant to his eldest heavenly son.
Though it felt different to do so after the time apart, after changing more. Having changed more this time without Abel at his side with those sad concerned looks of his.
After seeing him again though, it almost felt… weird, with how soft Abel was. How gentle and sweet. He'd grown used to the looks of awe and adoration from his girls, from everyone he interacted with in heaven- well, besides Sera. Even Emily, once formed gave him a similar look.
Everyone looked at him like he was something great, something powerful and grand, special, amazing. More myth than man. He was no longer used to anything else.
And Lute must've seen his uncertainty because immediately there was a glare sent Abel's way- but that wasn't what he wanted at all. So he'd called her off, told her to stand down, that this was supposed to be a ‘pleasant meeting’ with his kid. And she backed down.
And suddenly- there was that look from Abel again. That- sad, concerned and confused look. And Adam realized he had forgotten what that look meant. He also looked at Lute unsurely. And Adam…didn't know what to do about it. It- felt like there was this large gap between him and Abel now.
How did he cross it? How did he even attempt it?
This was his child, the 2nd out of all of his kids ever born- one of the few the fuckers on earth decided to even put in the damn Bible. And really- they only decided 3 of them were important enough to mention? He's got a LOT more than 3 kids- goodness, some winners he met were actually SURPRISED he had more than 3 kids! How did they expect 3 sons to populate the earth after him?! Especially with one dead, and another banished… hell, sometimes people forget about Seth too. It pissed him off. But well, they did mention one of his daughters somewhere at least, the one…the one Cain left with.
No wait, he was getting off topic-
The fact was that he loved Abel, He really did. It didn't matter the time apart, how he acted, or how Adam himself acted, he loved that boy. Just like how he loved all of his children. And he was proud of him too, just like how he was proud of Seth and the others.
But now it felt… difficult to show that. To say that.
He'd spent 900 years without his son before, how could these last two or more make more of a difference than that?
After he left the awkward meeting, Lute trailing behind him and the feeling of Abel's eyes on him as he flew off, he tried to think it over more. He hadn't really changed too much since he last saw his son… right?
He tried to force the thought out of his mind, but like the centuries before he suddenly found himself leaving small gifts for his son… Perhaps as an apology as they had been before, perhaps a small way to bridge the gap between them and the only way he remembered how. Or maybe just to show him he still cared.
But that wasn't enough.
He started doing the same for his other children as well, giving gifts and writing notes, some of the children he hadn't spoken to in a century.
Some he hadn't thought of for even longer
And he knew it still wasn't enough, but he didn't know what else to do. For a moment it almost felt like he had forgotten what it was like to be a father.
To be a good father. He'd been a good father once, at least sometimes… But now- It didn't feel that way.
Though by the time that he had registered the burning pain in his chest from that thought, he'd already left the latest note for Seth and was now in search of the nearest woman that would be interested in him, to help him forget for the night at least.
-
When he had first gotten his mask, it had just been facial protection.
Something to wear while training, something to protect his eyes and nose etc from injury while him and his girls got ready for when they finally could strike hell back.
When did he start thinking about striking first rather than just protecting themselves Just in case?
But as time did what it did best and passed him by over the years, he found himself taking it off less and less until he wore it constantly.
And suddenly it was less a face covering, and more almost his actual face. People would forget what he looked like underneath, new winners would never know he had a face underneath. It became protection to him in another way.
When Abel first saw the mask though…
That first second of unfamiliarity on his face, not immediately recognizing his father before he noticed the robes and heard his voice.
That almost broke him in a way he hadn't been in a long time.
He ignored it though, and continued on like it didn't happen.
He'd gotten very good at ignoring things that hurt.
-
Then finally it happened, Lilith attempted an uprising when her daughter was about 190 something years old, and Sera without hesitance agreed to allow them to attack hell for it.
And Adam with his prepared army, absolutely slaughtered and crushed down the attempt.
He'd been ready for this, waiting for this moment, yet during his first kill there was a moment of hesitation, looking down at the face of the sinner below him.
This was for the best, this is what he needed to do to keep heaven safe, this is what he had trained his army for. This moment, this battle. Yet still he hesitated.
For a moment it almost felt like Cain was beneath him, about to be killed by his father just like how he had killed his brother.
But it wasn't, he reminded himself, This was some random unlucky sinner. Someone he didn't even know. Just another pawn for Lilith, another corrupted soul who probably did unspeakable acts to end up here.
Because the people in hell had to have done unspeakable things, or else they wouldn't be here. They'd be in heaven with him.
They had to have done something unforgivable.
And after what had felt like minutes, though had probably only been a few seconds, he got over his hesitation and he sliced into the sinner, killing and erasing its soul. And he couldn't help how he shuttered at the feeling after. Seeing what used to be a person beneath his blade, dead because of him.
Nausea. Pain, fear, sadness- Anger-
This is what he needed to do, This is what he had to do. He repeated to himself as he left the cooling corpse and went after another.
Honestly, this was almost granting them mercy. He convinced himself.
No more suffering, no more hell, No more pain.
More and more sinners and demons alike fell to him. Each one killed quickly without issue, unable to stop himself from at least not wanting to lengthen their torturous death.
And all his girls did the same, fast, efficient. Trained killers.
Soon enough they were in front of the king and queen of hell, bloody and smiling at the carnage they had created out of Lilith's army. And Lucifer doing the first smart action of his very long life since before the apple- and surrendered. Much to the surprise and dismay of his partner.
Adam watched her rage, angered, trying to convince Lucifer out of it. But the fallen Angel could not be budged, couldn't be swayed by his wife's words.
And looking closer Adam realized he looked tired, And for a moment he felt pity for what once was his friend so long ago, before he then quickly squished it down.
A deal was then formed between them, giving Adam and his army, now named exorcists, rights to kill any and all sinners- for one day a year. But making sure Adam knew that hellborn were off the table. Lucifer also made sure that the sinners could only stay in the pride ring to make it easier, and make it less likely a hellborn would accidentally get in the crossfire. A giant clock was created hours after to always show the time until the next extermination.
And so it was done. The deal was sealed, and Lilith looked more betrayed by the moment.
Sometime later, Lilith then came up to him asking for a deal of her own.
Lute advised against it, but in an act that surprised him- despite his better judgment, he made the deal with Lilith. Allowing her to stay in heaven. The agreement partially born from the stubborn faint care he still felt for her but would never admit to.
He ignored the question on the tip of his tongue, wanting to ask if Eve And Cain were alright, if she knew where either was.
It didn't matter anyways
It never mattered
He ignored the throbbing in his chest that told him that wasn't true like he did with everything else nowadays.
-
Once they returned to their base, him and his exorcists partied like there was no tomorrow in celebration of the first extermination.
And despite himself, he had Abel join as well.
Abel and Seth- they were his heirs
And while Seth cared for and led his heavenly siblings, maybe…maybe Abel could be included in this.
Though he would never force the boy to kill. That was up to him and him alone.
Sometimes he wished he was stronger, braver, more powerful… but other times, thoughts like that made his gut twist. Abel was his sweet son, and they'd grown apart, but he'd never ask him to change like…like he had.
He didn't think his heart would make it if he realized he'd turned Abel into a broken mess like himself. If he did that to ANY of his heavenly children.
He…wanted Abel to be himself. Even if he didn't act like it sometimes.
It was almost comforting when he thought about it, about Abel not being changed despite…everything.
So he never pushed him. He let him be. But he did teach him the basics on how to fight like him and his exorcists, taught him a bit of strategy and more.
Suddenly, it felt like maybe there was a way to bridge the gap that had grown between the two of them.
He had to be careful though, he…didn't want to overwhelm him. To break him. Abel seemed more fragile to him as time went on. And it was a delicate balance of trying to toughen him up, and let him stay his gentle self. It was hard, but Adam made do.
Lute never seemed to understand, but he didn't need her to. She saw the tough love and didn't see the love, but that was fine.
As long as Abel saw it, everything would be ok. He'd be ok.
Abel knew he loved him after all. He had to.
Years passed. Exterminations passed. He kept up with Abel, and he kept doing small things for his other children, rebuilding a bit of their old bonds with each one, even if distant. Even if not as close as he wanted. He was doing his best. Even if Seth looked at him in uncertainty, even if Abel looked at him in concern more times than not.
He kept the outburst to his room the night after an extermination when he had first killed one of his own children in hell.
4 years in, Lute found one of her fellow exorcists attempting to allow a sinner child to go free. It was Vaggie, one of his top exorcists after Lute herself and he… found himself simply watching as Lute tore into her and punished her. Taking her eye and wings. He stood back as he watched her do it. Because why should he help? He trusted Lute's judgement. And this…this made Vaggie a traitor. Yeah, yeah it made her a traitor. Even if the sight of a child sinner pulled at his heart strings.
Children were a Mercy kill. And she was denying them a merciful death.
He kept the smile up on his mask as he grabbed the halo from Lute and then walked off with her before returning to heaven. Guilt gnawing at his inside. But it would go away.
If he couldn't manage to look Abel in the eyes for a few days afterwards though, having started to imagine if the roles had been reversed and instead Abel had been the one unable to kill a sinner child… then that was his to bear alone.
And It was different, Abel was his son, the exorcists were soldiers, nothing more.
Vaggie was made into a reminder, no sinner was to be spared.
-
The next few years passed without issue, they honestly sort of…blended together.
Wake up, eat, Train, Abel, Lute, eating, Sera and Emily, gifts, more training, eating, sleeping and repeat. Everyday was the same. Only changed up by what girl he slept with, or if he played a concert. Till extermination. That day was full of bloodshed, then it started over.
He lived with it, even if it felt… difficult.
No one seemed to notice though.
But at the same time, Abel had started looking at him…differently. He recognized the look, but not on Abel’s face, it itched at his mind. What was it, what was so different about that look than what he normally gave him?
What was it?
He couldn't figure it out. Yet still the days continued on, till one day something unordinary happened, something troubling. Something that allowed them to bump up the annual extermination to bi-annual.
One of his exorcists was found dead in hell.
After that almost nothing was the same, new plans were in place, new pieces were uncovered, new players entered the game.
And the biggest new player of the game? Charlie Morningstar, the princess of hell.
Their meeting was mostly forgettable, but what would happen after it wasn't.
With her taunting stories of bringing redemption to Sinners.
He didn't allow any hope to flutter its way into his heart at the thought.
The only good was already in heaven, everyone in hell was a lost cause. There was no do over, no reset, and no second chances.
The heavenly trial later on was a joke, so was the ‘reforming sinner’, even if he…did everything he said it would take to get to heaven.
He pushed down the questions that were raised in his mind at it and instead went to taunt the princess just as she'd done to him.
He felt bad when he accidentally went and got loose lips in his taunting though and announced the exterminations to the unknowing Angels all around him.
But in the short run, it didn't matter much. After he took down the princess and her little hotel, the rest could come after.
Before he went to the girls though, he managed to stop by Abel's, finding his wings bringing him there almost by instinct instead of by actual thought. Snagging a small wool blanket from his house he'd made himself days before when he'd felt stressed. He'd made so many of them in the past few weeks, all of them for one child or another. He'd had some sort of foreboding feeling in the pit of his stomach since he first had the meeting with Charlie…
A small note sat folded up inside the blanket and he was careful not to crinkle it as he flew, it wasn't long before he then landed down at his son's doorway.
Abel seemed surprised at him showing up once he came out, especially with a blanket in hand. He didn't normally hand these out in person, leaving them for him to find instead. but…he’d wanted to see the reaction of this specific one.
He smirks as he hands it off and Abel’s confused look melts away into an awed one.
Seeing the sheep and guitar design on it, carefully dyed and put together. Adam just grinned back and ruffled his hair when he was looking down at the blanket, almost knocking the hat- another of his gifts, off his head. And something in his heart warms at the sight.
He doesn't tell him it's hand crafted by Adam himself, sewn and woven together without any magical assistance, but it's not something that needs to be said.
And something settles inside him.
He'd…talk more with Abel when he got back. Him and Seth, and any of his other children that still wanted something to do with Adam. Yeah, and he'd hand out all the blankets and other crafted trinkets too… that sounded nice. After taking down that little hotel they'd have all the time in the world.
And as he leaves, he notices that look on his son's face appear again. Not the one that matched the one he'd see on other people's faces, the…other one from before.
The fact he still can't place it bothers him, but…seeing it again from Abel…it soothes something in him, and he goes to his army of executioners ready
to attack hell with glee.
-
The battle was… a lot.
Watching his girls fall- it set a fire off inside him. And so he shatters the shield the stupid hotel put up, and then fighting the radio deer sinner soon after.
Things were going so well-
Before they weren't.
He was fighting the Morningstar princess, when she stabbed him and-
Pain
And then
Lucifer Morningstar
The disgusting disgrace of what once was an angel
Who once was his friend
He beat and taunted him- and of all things, spewed lies about Eve! Suggesting she cheated on him, with the devil of all people or angels alike!
HOW DARE HE!
But it didn't get any better after that
His mask was struck and part of it shattered off his face as he was beaten into the ground.
He felt some part of his self control slip away with the pieces of the mask.
Then he got his whole mask off and he screamed at them all. This wasn't how things were supposed to GO! Not to him, not NOW.
He didn't even fully process what he screamed, just the looks on all of their faces, like he was the bad guy. If he wasn't yelling, he was sure he'd be sobbing at this point.
It wasn't fair
And then suddenly-
AGONY
Something- something slicing deep into him, All the way THROUGH him, breaking and cutting into him and he- he falls, only for the searing agony to be quadrupled or more. So much pain, but this time in a way that was too physical in a way he'd almost forgotten
In life he'd died in his sleep- this, this was so much worse. Feeling his very essence slip out of him and- and then he heard a scream and….it was Lute and she'd come for him. If he'd had any strength left in him perhaps he really would have cried then, but as it was he could barely feel his lip curl up after Lute had turned him back over to face her.
For a few moments, everything felt slowed down.
Regret flowed to every part of him now.
Could he have prevented this? He thought, and he realized that he could have. And easily too, but…
Perhaps this had been a long time coming.
He'd been spiraling for so long…yes, this was always going to be how it ended. If not now, then later.
Focusing on Lute's face again now, he looked at her expression. It was horrified and full of despair yes, but- something else about it caught his eye. Something familiar, but something only familiar from one person and-
Oh
Underneath was the look Abel always gave him.
And oh Abel…he'd promised to see him after this extermination. He'd also promised himself he'd hand deliver each and every gift left in his home to his children after this.
He'd… he'd promised
But it didn't matter anymore, did it? He would never get to make up to any of them now. All the time in the world ended up not being much fucking longer.
And in a moment of clarity- it hit him, what that look was.
She was looking at him like he was a person
Looking past his titles and his history of being first man and the first to walk through the heavenly gates- seeing more than just a story, seeing more than just history when she looked at him. looking past everything and seeing him, just Adam himself. Just like how…how Abel had done. Had seen his father in the mess he'd become. Something Adam had almost lost even from his son for the past 3 or so years before that day.
Oh Abel, his sweet boy. Too good for him, too kind, and so much stronger than anyone had ever given him credit for.
Had he truly forgotten what it was like to really be seen? That he'd never recognized how his son looked at him before it was too late?
Perhaps that had been what he'd needed for so long. To be seen.
Maybe he would've let his son help him if he'd realized sooner.
But it'd never happen now
As he closed his eyes and Lute faded from view, he hoped that Abel could forgive his father for never coming home.
And he hoped somehow Abel knew that he was thankful, that he loved him and that he was so proud of him.
He hoped that he had been a good enough father that all his children knew he was proud.
He wondered if Cain had known how much he had loved him, still loved him, and had never been able to stop loving him.
Abel…Abel was gonna do big things
He was just sad he'd never get to see what he’d become.