Planets, Galaxies, and Songs About You

by halfof_thesky

Summary:

A certain relationship with an unbelievably pretty yet evil band dude had lead to many downfalls in her life; grades included. Not wanting her to throw away a bright future, her professor assigned his TA to tutor her for a few sessions. Little did she know, the man with snowy hair and oval glasses — with a brain that's too big for the size of his head — ended up teaching her more than just black holes and galactic models. Although she must admit, it is still hard to let go of the past, especially when it keeps coming back to her.

Chapter 1: only glimpses of your sight

Notes:

hi! this is actually a story that i've written in the span of... quite an amount of time, but i've always written it in bits an pieces. a while back, i finally decided to just... compile it all into one story. i've written many chapters, but they're still drafts that needs to be worked on. hope you'll enjoy this one. happy reading!

TW: explicit sexual content

Wednesday, February 14, 2024

His lips ghosted over the curve of her ear, whispered grunts and breathy moans sending shivers to her back. He sounded so pretty that it made her pussy throb, clenching his cock inside of her, eliciting a low groan from the back of his throat. One of his hands remained on the tiled countertop, whilst the other flew to cup her cheek. The touch reeked of desperation. He drank her eyes in with the hunger of a man who had been long deprived of her. He moved his hips, giving one deep, harsh stroke inside of her. A sharp gasp escaped her lips, her breath trembling with pleasure. He continued to intensely bore his gaze into her glassy eyes, a faint smirk of satisfaction forming in his lips. His hips pressed deeply into her again, leaving her mouth hung open. Toying with his thumb, he rubbed it gently against her bottom lip before slipping it into her mouth. She closed her lips around his thumb, enveloping it with her tongue. Under the dim neon lights, she looked ethereal. He let out a hushed hiss that slowly turned into a moan, slightly throwing his head back. The sight was killing him.

She had reached her climax a few minutes ago, and he was intent on making her orgasm once more. Her core was burning, unbelievably throbbing at his every little move, at the sight of him. The dark gleam in his pretty, narrowed eyes, steadily cutting straight through her as he gradually fastened the pace of his thrusts. Her grip on his black shirt grew tighter, fist clenching the cotton fabric. Her other hand behind his neck snaked into the back of his head, taking the raven strands in between her fingers. Raw, quivering moans spilled from her throat at every stroke, her breath growing shorter by the second. She began to pull on his hair, earning a rough, pleased grunt from him. He pulled out his thumb, brushing the wet skin against her chin in one line. His hand slowly dropped down, resting itself in the back of her neck. Leaning his head in, he sucked on the skin just below her earlobes. His kiss, his unrelenting thrusts on her walls, and the wet sounds emanating from between their bodies finally sent her to the edge. “Suguru, fuck… I’m gonna, fuck… I’m gonna cum,” She whimpered in a choked voice. Her moans grew louder but shorter by the passing second. He retreated his head from her skin to watch her. Eyes fluttering from the overwhelming build of her high, mouth slightly agape, eliciting the most beautiful sounds he had ever had the pleasure to hear.

“You’re doing so good baby… so fucking… pretty like this,” Geto’s velvety, irresistible grunts became more consistent, gradually turning into a low moan that rumbled from his lungs, “I could watch you like this… over… and over.” He leaned in closer, his breath fanning on her skin. She fought to keep her eyes open, her half-lidded gaze admiring every feature gracing his face. There were beads of sweat that formed in his forehead, the long front pieces of his hair sticking to his cheek. There was only an inch between them, their lips ghosting over one another’s. Geto licked his bottom lip, a wider smirk forming in his cocky expression. “Aren’t you gonna kiss me baby?” It was cruel. Teasing her whilst she’s nearing her high. His smug grin as he continued his deep, unwavering thrust, rubbing right against her sensitive spot. “You’re such… a dick, Suguru,” She choked, nearing a sob. A trembling swell spiraled through her center, threatening to unfurl. Geto let out a low chuckle, he could sense her climax from her trembling legs and her pussy sucking him in with such consuming intensity. “I know… but I know just how much you like it,” He whispered darkly against her lips, “Come on baby, cum around my cock… I want to hear you… watch you cry out my name, want everyone to know the sounds coming from this pretty girl… is from getting fucked stupid by me.”

It was then that the pressure building inside of her unfurled from her core, the waves washing all of her body. “Fuck… Suguru, I’m…” Her pussy tightened around his dick, earning ragged, guttural moans from Geto. Her eyes squeezed shut, overwhelmed by the intensity of her orgasm. Her legs wrapped tighter around his waist, her knuckles white from furiously gripping on his shirt. Her heavenly moans climbed higher, shaky and unrestrained. It was sending Geto to the edge. He continued his thrusts, growing shorter but more fervent, more desperate. He was reaching his own high, relentlessly drilling into her, overstimulating her senses. The sight of her, the sounds falling from her glistening dark lips, the sensation of her pulsating pussy against his throbbing cock, it was all engulfing him. His thrusts got sloppier, but deeper. After a few more strokes, his hips bucked harshly, grunting as he spilled his seed inside of her. He panted as he rode out his orgasm, leaning in to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. Her mouth hung open, finding the gesture to be incomprehensible. She found his audacity to be unbelievable, yet she couldn’t stop the butterflies in her stomach from fluttering.

She pulled him into a sloppy kiss, moaning quietly into his mouth. He smirked against her lips, kissing her with a softness that made her want to cry. He sucked on her bottom lip, before his tongue entered her mouth. She gasped into the kiss, taking him even deeper; slow but intense. Before they retreated, she bit his bottom lip, dragging it teasingly as he pulled away. Geto let out a deep groan, “I will fuck you again if you keep doing that.” She huffed out a chuckle as she gently caressed his cheek with her fingers. It’s these moments that Geto appreciated, but could never tell her. He grabbed her hand, and pressed a soft kiss on her palm. He was killing her. When she could feel his dick softening inside of her, Geto retreated and cleaned himself up, zipping up his pants. Before she could grab the roll of tissues hung on the wall, Geto beat her to it. He took a few and proceeded to wipe in between her thighs. She looked away, unable to witness it. Her cheeks became rosy, tinted with embarrassment. Geto didn’t have to look to know she had directed her gaze elsewhere, chuckling at her reaction. He threw the tissues to the bin and walked back up to her.

Tilting his head slightly to the side, his eyes trailed from her lips to her eyes. “You’re so cute,” He uttered with a smirk, leaning in closer to her face. “And you’re an ass,” She uttered with an amused scoff. It was part truth, part light-hearted joke. His smile grew wider, a warm, under-the-breath laugh erupting from him. “I never said I wasn’t, darling,” He responded with a low tone, teasing yet playful. Darling. She couldn’t help but grow redder at the nicknames he kept throwing at her, cursing herself for the reaction. He kissed her once more, before holding out a hand for her to grab. Her gaze lingered on his open palm, finally deciding to hold on to them. He helped her come down from the bathroom countertop. Her black calf heeled platform boots hit the ground, a thud echoing inside the empty bathroom. She looked up to the man towering over her, who was fixing his hair. He tied the top half of his hair into a ponytail as he stared at his reflection. She couldn’t help but linger her gaze as he continued with his movements, finding it frustratingly attractive. Finally looking away, she smoothed out her fitted black mini skirt, pulling down her long-sleeved dark navy top that had ridden up during their encounter.

“I’m gonna come out first, you can get back to the table in like five minutes,” He spoke as he finished up his updo, turning to face her, “Just say you were out like… smoking and getting fresh air.” She forced herself to keep a calm, composed look, despite the tightened jaw. “I know Geto, we’ve been through this countless times,” Her voice was laced with bitterness. She couldn’t help it from slipping, but Geto barely noticed. He took note of something else instead. “Huh, it’s Geto now that I’m not inside of you anymore?” That was what he caught on. She was mad, and he knew why. However, he would never address it, choosing to act clueless even after poking fun at her for it. “I’m just kidding, baby,” He uttered with a smirk, caressing the top of her head, “Alright, I’ll head out first.” Exiting the room, the door swung close behind him. The click of the door against the lock stile seemed to ring louder in her mind. She let out an exasperated sigh, before catching a glimpse of her reflection on the mirror. The dark stain on her lips were slightly blotched from the kisses, her eyeliner smudge pooled around the outer corners of her eyes. The pout in her face grew at her own state, covering her face to stop herself from viewing the sight.

---

“Where were you? You missed ‘The Fallouts’,” Shoko questioned with a monotone voice, her head leaning against her hand propped up on the table. One of the bands she came there for was ‘The Fallouts’. She cursed her own inability to practice self-restraint. Clearing her throat, she quickly grabbed her sling bag placed on her seat before sitting down. Everyone at the table was looking in her direction, wondering where she had gone, with the exception of Geto. The long-haired man was focused on the band performing on stage. She swiftly turned her head to watch who was performing, before returning to face her friends. “Was just out to smoke, needed some fresh air,” She spoke casually whilst fishing for her lipstick inside of her bag. Yuki quirked an eyebrow, eyeing a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in front of her friend before looking right into her eyes, “But your cigs are here, and so is your lighter.” Geto stayed still as he drank, not being able to bring down the glass from his lips. Her eyes shot up for a brief second, imperceptible to others, before continuing her act. “Yea, I left it here, I only took one cig but I forgot to bring my lighter,” She quickly clarified, not an ounce of hesitation evident in her voice, “Borrowed some dude’s lighter outside.” Yuki nodded, seemingly believing her little story.

“Was he cute?” Utahime chimed in with a sweet, wide grin. She stopped putting on her lipstick, mouth slightly agape at Utahime’s question before bursting into laughter. Geto’s expressions tightened. She hummed as she continued to put on her lipstick. “Very pretty but unfortunately, he was kind of a dick, a music snob as well,” She uttered whilst focusing on her pocket mirror, “Told me ‘Barren Lands’ sucked because they ripped off ‘Tokyo no To’.” The others erupted into laughter. Geto huffed out a snicker, knowing well who she was talking about. “You met another ‘Barren Lands’ hater? One is already enough,” Yuki eyed the raven haired man sitting next to her, earning an eye roll from him. “They are a rip off,” Geto muttered in the midst of all the laughter, loud enough for her to hear. “It’s not a rip off when the vocalists are exes that inspire each other,” It was her turn to roll her eyes, closing the mirror and shoving it back to her bag. Geto tongued his cheek, his smirk growing as he placed the glass back to his lips.

She gulped down her drink, setting her glass down on the table as the music faded out. The crowd clapped as the band finished their second song. When the claps died down, the vocalist tapped into the mic, “Alright, this next one goes out to those who are stuck in those fuck ass situationships, my condolences for you! Been there, done that, never again.” Her jaw tightened. Slamming her eyes shut, tension rippling through the skin. This night is turning comical. She could hear someone choking on their drink, and she didn’t have to look to know who it was. “Passionate kisses in cars, making out between bars… hidden in shadows, walked home with sorrows,” The singer sang as the drums kicked in. She let out a bitter laugh, taking back the glass in her hand. Downing the rest of her drink in one go, she stood up. Geto was observing her every move, an unsettling feeling resurfacing in his chest. “I’m getting another drink, anyone want more?” She announced to the group, earning a few headshakes. Geto contemplated accompanying her. However, he took too long debating in his own head. Nanami got up and walked to her side, “I’ll come with, I’m getting another glass as well.” She gave him a bright grin, excitedly putting an arm around his, and dragging him to the bar.

“Two glasses of rum and coke,” Nanami placed his order to the bartender who held out his hand to Nanami's direction, signaling for him to wait. She quietly snorted, earning an eye roll from him. Nanami sighed, “They always do this.” She patted his shoulder sympathetically. “Watch this,” She uttered to him before turning to the bartender to flag him down. When the bartender turned to her, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Her eyes fluttered as he came close, “Hi, can I get a… two rum and coke please?” Her voice came out more sultry than her usual tone. She threw a soft, delicate smile at him, pulling a trembling smile from the man. He nodded hurriedly, “Ah yes, the rum and coke, no problem! Coming right up!” The bartender scurried to the stack of glasses behind him, preparing their order. Nanami groaned in annoyance, finding the scene to be unbelievable, “Apparently I’m not hot enough for their standards... do I have to bat my eyes at him as well?” She cackled at his response, covering her mouth with a hand. Nanami huffed out a smile, his mood brightening up at the sound of her laugh. “No Namin, the guy’s just straight, and so are you,” She quipped amusedly, “I’ve seen Ryusei get hit on by gay guys, and though he’s not interested, he does cater to them more than the straight guys, ‘cuz it boosts his ego.” Nanami clicked his tongue, shaking his head lightly. She chuckled as they continued to wait for their order.

“I’ve seen him turn down women as well, and here you are, but I’m not surprised at his reaction, you have people falling for you left and right,” Nanami admitted as his fingers drummed on the bar table. There was an ache that settled on her chest at his words. If that was true, why was it turning out this way? “Except for that idiot Geto, of course,” Nanami suddenly said out of thin air. It felt as if he was listening to her thoughts, “Find someone new please, you don’t deserve all this shitty treatment.” Thumping loudly, her heart felt like it was dropping down to her guts. Her eyes grew twice in size, immediately turning her head to face him. Nanami’s gaze was still locked on to the surface of the table, taking note of the ring stains on the wood. “What? You don’t think I’d find out? You guys are good, but not so good to hide it from me,” He stated, sounding casual like he usually does. Her eyebrows lifted with a pained expression. She was at a loss for words. “When did you…?” She trailed off, unable to finish her question. Nanami stopped drumming his fingers, turning his body to face her. “Around two months ago, during the Christmas party at Yuki’s,” Nanami began to recount that devastating night, “He was flirting with Yuki’s co-worker, right? I remember you kept trying to hide your sour mood, but I know you, I heard you crying in the bathroom as well.”

The night couldn’t get more embarrassing. She lowered her head, avoiding Nanami’s sympathetic gaze. To a stranger, he might seem like he was just conversing normally, a plain expression painted on his features. Though they had known each other for quite some time now, relatively long enough for her to discern the small twitches and faint emotions seeping through his face. “I got suspicious, I tried to reassure myself that it wasn’t the case, but then New Year’s Eve happened,” Nanami continued, and she could feel her body shudder at the mention of another crushing night that left her gutted, “Geto hooked up with someone in one of the frat bedrooms, and I don’t know, I just immediately thought to look for you, then I found you drinking alone on the rooftop, it was all… aligning.” She gulped down nervously, speechless at all of the reveal. Her inhale became shorter as seconds passed. “I… so… that was why… you came looking for me,” It was all that came out of her mouth. Nanami nodded, placing a hand on top of her head. “It’s alright, I won’t tell anyone, to be honest, Shoko and Yuki’s been quite suspicious of you guys also,” He added whilst rubbing her head gently. She let out a lazy chuckle, “Yea, that I know, they... kinda mentioned it a couple of times to me with very vague questions of course, but you? I’m surprised because… you never made any comments about it.” Nanami lightly chuckled in return, retreating his hand and placing it on his side. She exhaled a long, deep breath.

The bartender suddenly appeared, placing their orders in front of them. “Enjoy, gorgeous,” Ryusei threw a wink at her. She returned it with a radiant smile, before dropping it once he was out of sight. Nanami let out a warm laugh, eyes crinkling with joy. She groaned before laughing along with him. “Alright, let’s go, before I have to make more niceties with him,” She grabbed her drink, with Nanami following along by her side. “You know, if you need me to punch him or Geto, I will,” He suddenly spoke; uttered just a few metres away from the table. She smacked his arm playfully, earning a low chuckle from the blonde. Geto raised an eyebrow at the interaction, his expression tense. The both of them sat down on their chairs, sipping their newly acquired drinks. “Was Ryusei hitting on you again?” Shoko suddenly barked, the alcohol getting to her. Geto’s ears perked up at the question, though feigning disinterest. Nanami snickered, remembering the scene before him, “Wait, so this is not the first time?” Yuki bursted out laughing at Nanami’s confirmation, “You know what? You guys would look cute together.” Her eyebrows knit together, confused at her friends’ behavior tonight. The comments about Geto and her had never been publicly addressed in front of the group, and now they were teasing her about another man. Ryusei at that. Something felt off.

“Are you kidding me? He flirts with everyone, no thank you,” She scoffed as she took another sip. She needed more alcohol tonight. “Well, it doesn’t need to be anything serious… I don’t know, haven’t seen you with anyone since we met! You haven’t been with anyone since Choso right?” Yuki added with a shrug, “I was just wondering if you’re open to dating or taking a long break and all.” She was cornered, unsure as to why tonight, of all the nights. Grimacing, a dry laughter choked out of her. She wondered whether she should answer truthfully or dodge the questions. “I’m still open, just… not pursuing, at least for now, I’m… exhausted,” She let out a hushed sigh, avoiding eye contact from a certain someone. She could feel his stare burning holes into her. “I’m done with men who want nothing to do with me,” She confessed to the group. Maybe it was the liquid courage, maybe it was feeling fed up. Though she wondered if she could live up to her own words. There was a faint smile that formed on Nanami’s lips.

“Well, it doesn’t have to be men, I know a few girls… who are interested in you,” Mei Mei chimed in after some time passively contributing to the conversation, her eyebrows wiggling playfully. She giggled at Mei Mei’s suggestion. “Ah, I don’t know, it’s not just men, just everyone in general,” She added; a faint sadness in her voice. There was a lump in her throat, threatening to crawl itself out in the form of tears. It’s been months, that’s enough of a message that Geto wants nothing else but sex. Why was she still sticking around? She closed her eyes, releasing a quiet but long breath. Gathering herself, she faced the group once more, feigning a relaxed expression across her face. “So, two more bands until you guys perform?” She redirected the topic, unable to proceed with the current one. Shoko nodded gingerly, a heartfelt smile gracing her lips. “Geto’s got new songs we’ve been practicing, it’s so good,” Mei Mei stated with a sly smile. That expression made her even more suspicious of her friends. Brushing it aside, she tried to focus on keeping a composed demeanor. “Oh? What are they about?” She questioned with a casual tone, despite the strain felt on her throat. Geto smirked, leaning closer to the table. His fingers glided along the surface of the glass, toying with the droplets of water. “Now why would I spoil the surprise?” He spoke with a tilted head, his tone sounding innocent.

---

“Good evening everyone, we’re ‘Hollow Echoes’,” Geto spoke into the mic, adjusting his guitar strap as rounds of applause and shouting roared from the crowd. From what she had observed, their band does get the late night segments, and almost always gets the most cheers. The audience loved their songs, and many loved Geto. It was hard not to, he was beyond charming. She hated to admit it, but that was why people were constantly flocking to him, intoxicated by his beauty and presence. There was a certain allure to him, and it was easy to be enchanted by him. “Thank you for having us tonight! Hope you guys are having a good time so far,” He continued with their introduction, earning cheers and claps from the audience, “It’s an amazing opportunity for us to play the last show, and especially for the Valentine’s special!” More screams were heard from the crowd. Bodies were pressing into hers; arms bumping.

Utahime shouted along, pumping her fists in the air. She would usually help hype up the crowd, shouting the loudest for Hollow Echoes. Tonight, she just couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm. They were standing around three rows from the stage. “We have a few new songs to play for you, very on theme with today’s celebration, though may be slightly sappy for the happy couples,” His monologue earned a few laughs. Geto cleared his throat, biding the time with his introduction as Yuki, Mei Mei, and Nanami prepared their instruments. His head turned to face his bandmates, asking for a signal if they were ready. They all nodded to Geto. He nodded in return, grabbing the mic once more. “Alright, this is one of our new songs, it’s called ‘Unspoken Devotion’,” She may have hallucinated it, but she swore Geto was looking at her as he introduced the song. He waited for the cheers to die down before adding, “I don’t know if anyone relates to this, but it’s about adoring someone… just utterly, insanely in love with them, so, so fucking much, but you can’t seem to say even one word about it… hope you guys like it! And Happy Valentine’s… to… wherever she is…” The crowd erupted. The people at the front rows jumped, excited at the new content their favorite local band was serving.

Mei Mei opened the song, her hands skillfully gliding across the fret, followed by Shoko’s melodic keyboard. A catchy, gritty guitar riff boomed in the speakers, every note sharp and cutting. Nanami came in strumming the bass, followed by Yuki setting up an energetic rhythm with the drums. Geto cradled the mic with both hands, pulling the stand closer to his mouth. “Soft lips against mine… gleaming eyes staring into mine… no words uttered but you’re mine… you’re mine… you’re mine,” He sang angelically into the mic, closing his eyes as he took in the atmosphere of the room. “Hands buried in my hair… but you’re not here tonight, it’s not fair… lies I told myself, like I don’t care… don’t care… don’t care.” Her face scrunched in annoyance and utter disbelief. Was he singing about Manami? The song entered into the chorus, Geto screaming into the mic, “She’s in my bed, our bodies tangled up in the sheets… but she’s not you, how could it be, that she’s not you…”

She wanted to throw up. It is about Manami. Sometimes, he would mention her name, looking pained as it was uttered from his own lips. She knew he wasn’t over her. Her head dropped, her gaze focusing on the ground. People’s feet were jumping around, thrashing all over the floor, yet she couldn’t seem to care. It felt heavy to breathe. The limited space in the crowd didn’t seem to help with the suffocation that is plaguing her lungs. Her breaths came out fast and short, unable to inhale more air. “She sings in my ear as she grips on my shirt… but she’s not you, how could it be, that she’s not you…” Geto continued as he strummed on his guitar, adding more depth to Mei Mei’s melodies. She had to leave, she couldn’t stay there and listen to him drone on about fucking her whilst longing for someone else. “Utahime, I’m gonna go smoke… the crowd’s a bit more suffocating than usual, I need some air,” She shouted to Utahime over the booming speakers. Her friend nodded, slightly concerned. “Are you gonna be okay? Do you need some company?” Utahime offered, placing a hand on her shoulder. She shook her head in reassurement, “All good, just need a moment, I’ll join again later.”

She bolted from her spot, cutting through the crowd. Running up to the front entrance, she flung the double doors open and quickly stepped outside. She was greeted with the cold air, silently thanking herself for putting on her long brown coat. Fishing the pockets for her pack, she realized that her hands were trembling furiously. Shaking her head, she took the cigarette out and placed one in between her lips. With a flick of the lighter, the ends of her cigarette burned. Smoke released into the air, spilling out from her mouth. Her throbbing heart gradually calmed as she took more puffs of her cigarette. She tilted her head upwards, watching the dark, cloudy night sky. The vastness made her feel small, inducing an anxious feeling all over her limbs. A small breeze passed through, making her body shiver. Suddenly, a tear gushed down to her chin. One of her hands came up to her face, wiping the water away, surprised by her own silent cry. 

Notes:

AHAHAH sorry it started off very abruptly and explicitly. i don't know why i kind of suck at making smut so, apologies for that. but yea... this fic will be FILLED with them so... brace yourselves. and yes, geto will be... unbearable as hell here, so, my apologies. this is more of a lighter fic in comparison to my other one. if u guys love aot, and especially levi, please go check it out!

i've always kind of loved the idea of geto in a band. and i got this idea from gege saying that geto was more popular with girls. knowing how he was when he was leading that goddamned cult, i just kind of had the idea of him being a pretty fuckboy that manipulates his way into many things in life, even friendships.

Chapter 2: your eyes are now looking into mine

Notes:

i decided to post chapter 2, not only because i was done editing it, but i'll post the third one a little bit later than i would like to hehe. enjoy!

TW: nsfw

Monday, February 26, 2024

“What’s happening to your grades? You’re slipping each week,” Yaga questioned her firmly, his eyebrows scrunching together, “You used to hand assignments on time, your essays were unbelievable, your tests? You were at the top of your class! There would usually only be one mistake that you’d make! I entered your projects into competitions for god’s sake.” He rubbed his temples, holding in the frustration brewing deep within. As her supervisor for university, he would keep track of her progress. It surprised him to no end that his favorite student — not that he would ever admit it to her — was on the brink of failing at the start of the semester. He deemed her a prodigy, and it was worrying him; how fast she was falling. “What’s going on? Is there something I should know?” Yaga continued through her silence. His eyes bore through her like knives cutting the tense atmosphere between them, though his voice carried a gentleness that eased the anxiety flowing in her bloodstream, “Is it your mom? Is she pushing you too hard again?”

Her eyes shut tightly. The mention of her mom brought an ache to her chest that swelled like a plague. “No, she’s not… I haven’t been in contact with her since… last time,” She stated with gritted teeth, exhaustion more evident in her voice rather than anger. Yaga hummed knowingly, letting out a quiet sigh. “Then what’s wrong?” She didn’t know what to say. There was no way that she’d tell him. Inhaling a deep breath, she uttered, “I don’t know… I… I guess I just got distracted… I’ll get back up on my feet… I promise.” She shifted her gaze from the floor to face him, remorse reflected in her eyes. Yaga grew more concerned, but it was clear that she wasn’t going to tell. He sighed heavily, grabbing some of the files stacked on his desk, “Alright, meet me again after class, we’ll talk more about this,” He stood up from his chair, the files in his hand, “You need extra credit, I’m not gonna let you pass this semester with an average score, it’ll bring down your G.P.A, and not to mention, your scholarship will be at risk.” His voice was stern, though affection was shown through his words. She stood up to walk next to him, nodding as he finished. “Okay, I’ll get better I promise,” She spoke with more conviction, “I’ll see you in the afternoon.”

---

The silence was deafening. In the midst of her loud thoughts — with only a rhythmic ticking sound of the clock — she felt like she was dangerously close to turning insane. She sighed in frustration, shaking her head to ward off the self-deprecating voices clouding her mind. She stared at her notes and the stack of books she had picked out from the shelves. She couldn’t seem to take in any of the information written in them. It’s been two hours. Class was starting in another hour. Clicking her tongue, she decided to close her notes. Maybe a small break would help clear her mind. The library was almost empty with only two other people and the librarian. The other two were sitting on the other edge of the room, deeply lost in the books in their hands. She had picked out a spot in the corner, hidden away by the shelves in order to isolate herself. It would usually be filled with more students on this floor but most of them are in class today during these hours. Unfortunately, her mind was too loud for her to focus, and the silence had been more than suffocating. She opened up her phone, noticing the pile of notifications that flooded them. Opening her message app, her eyes widened at the latest text she had received, sitting on top of the other unopened ones.

Suguru

14/02/24

00:13

‘Where are you? Did you leave?’

‘Utahime just told me that you were going to come back after smoking’

‘But you texted her that you needed to leave’

‘Is everything okay?’

02:01

‘Hey, I’m really concerned’

‘At least let me know if you’re safe’

‘Goodnight darling’

16/02/24

17:28

‘Hi’

‘It’s been two days, I’m fucking worried goddamn it’

‘Where the hell are you?’

‘Please, answer me’

‘I want to see you’

‘Shoko told me you haven’t been replying much to her texts too’

21/02/24

15:03

‘The others are asking about you’

‘I don’t know what the hell to tell, since you’re not replying to me too’

‘Where are you?’

‘Please get back to me’

24/02/24

23:39

‘Areh you fuckig kidding me,?’

‘I fucking missdyou cant u see?’

‘Plese just answerme’

‘Iwant to see u i wantyo talk to you’

‘Baby please’

‘Ill getdown onr my knees if i hav to’

‘Just tell me whatu wnat ill do it’

25/02/24

11:34

‘I can’t seem to fucking delete those messages since it passed an hour already’

‘Fuck it, I still stand by it’

‘Please, call me, I need to see you’

26/02/24

07:15

‘I can’t get you out of my fucking mind, I’m worried as hell, please… just call me, reply to me, anything’

‘I just wanna know if you’re okay’

Her lips pressed into a tight line. She couldn’t believe what she was reading. Geto had never been like this. A new phenomenon. Her eyebrows knitted, confusion painted all over her face. What was he up to? The last time he was this nice, this caring, was when they were friends. It was all gone once they started their complicated relationship. Guilt resurfaced in her mind, manifested in the form of a lump in her throat. She had missed how he treated her, before all of this. It was bringing back memories she thought had been buried in the back of her mind. Maybe he had changed. It’s nothing big, but it was something. She contemplated whether to text him back. Was it foolish to give him a chance?

26/02/24

12:06

‘Hi…’

‘I’m sorry I haven’t been present’

‘I’m not sure what’s going on with me either’

‘Need some time alone, but yea, I should’ve at least let you guys know about it, so I’m sorry about that too’

‘I’m at the library, the usual floor. Far left corner’

She locked her phone swiftly, unable to see what the reply will be. Maybe he’s not even on his phone at the moment. Break time was over, she needed to focus again. She opened her notes once more and opened one of the books. Succeeding to finish one paragraph, she continued to the next one. Though she couldn’t help but steal glances at her phone, tucked away in her bag. There had been no vibrations, no signs of a new notification. She cursed herself for responding to his message. There was no need to do that. She had done a good job already avoiding him. Why did she have to crawl back like this?

Groaning, she returned to her book, attempting to read the new paragraph. After taking in a few sentences, her gaze shifted back to her bag. Squeezing her eyes shut, she grew frustrated at her lack of ability to concentrate. She rested her head on both of her hands, her elbows propped up on the table. Holding in her breath, she released it heavily. There was no point in continuing to study at the moment, her mind was far off from the books. She stood up begrudgingly, dragging her feet back to the shelves next to the desk she had occupied. The sound of a door cracking open echoed throughout the silent room. Her head swivelled to the sound, but she immediately continued to put down the books in the ‘Astrophysics’ section. As she placed the last book in the gap of one of the racks, a figure appeared next to her. “Fucking hell,” She yelped in surprise, turning her body to face them. Before she saw the man’s face, she could tell who it was from the scent. “Sugu, I… I thought you didn’t get my message,” She breathed out shakily, gulping down nervously at his sudden presence, “Wasn’t sure you’d… actually come.” Geto folded his arms, his eyebrows scrunched together, vexed by the situation. His chest was heaving up and down rapidly, seemingly out of breath from running. “Of course I came, you’ve been missing… for more than a week,” He spat out, his piercing gaze making her lower her eyes, “No word, nothing, you just disappeared like that.”

He leaned in closer, inviting her to look at him. When she continued to focus her stare towards the carpeted floors, Suguru huffed. His hands flew to cup her jaw, his thumb gently trailing to her chin, tilting her head slightly upwards to face him. “What’s wrong baby? I was fucking worried out of my damn mind,” Despite the cursing, his voice came out strained, almost growing weak at the sight of her. There was desperation laced in his tone, a faint tremble in his eyes. She was greeted by his sharp features, expressions taut in concern. “I… don’t know, but I’m sorry,” Her voice came out hushed, her mind still attempting to comprehend the fact that he was standing there. A pout began to form on her lips, “I… missed you too.” The corners of his mouth tugged downwards, confusion seeping through his expression, “I wish you’d call me.” Letting out a quiet, bitter chuckle, she shook her head. “It was hard to,” She admitted casually, finding herself able to be more upfront with him. It surprised her as well, but it was a long time coming. She may not be able to say it all, but she can see that her courage was gathering up.

Geto leaned closer, his face only inches away from hers. There was a softness in his gaze, almost remorseful, but she wasn’t sure. It was Geto after all. “I told you, I’m here if you need me,” He stated a rebuttal, sounding gentle yet assertive. She scoffed, eyes casted downwards, “You’re rarely there when I need you, why would I call you then?” Geto let out a short sigh. He couldn’t deny it, because it was the truth. He hadn’t been prioritizing her after all. “That’s also why I want to make it up to you, I’m… I’m sorry I haven't been so present,” Geto promised, his eyes full of determination. Her gaze was still stuck on the brown carpet, simply giving him a small nod. Geto tilted her chin once more, making sure that her eyes were locking into his, “I promise, I’ll be there.” She stared right into him, finding any signs, any look, that might betray his words. It was hard to believe that she couldn’t find one. He leaned in closer, almost closing the gap between them. Her breath hitched. She could feel his hot breath fanning on her lips. Her eyes fluttered, fighting to keep it open, fighting to look unbothered, but it proved to be difficult. “Do you believe me baby?”

The unbelievably close proximity was distracting her. His half-lidded gaze burned into her, glistening pink lips hovering over hers. His air was untied, the front pieces obscuring a part of his eyes. He was so gorgeous, so incredibly close, and it was flooding her mind with so many thoughts. All she could do was nod. She didn’t actually believe him, but her mind wasn’t clear enough to think about it. His thumb slowly moved to her bottom lip, gently rubbing and dragging it down. “I fucking missed you, pretty girl,” He whispered in a low voice, the velvety tone sending shivers in her back. He slowly guided her body, silently directing her to lean her back on the bookshelf. His eyes ran to her jaw, moving his lips and pressing a gentle kiss there. Trying to remain quiet, her whimpers came out like a muffle, silenced by her own lips refusing to open.

He left a trail of kisses upwards along her jaw line, landing on the spot below her earlobe. Pulling out his tongue, he pressed the tip on her skin, licking a stripe upwards. His voice carried a slow, deliberate heat as he whispered, “You have no idea how much I thought about you this week.” The sultriness in the tone made her almost moan, coming out as a hushed whine instead. Geto retreated from her ear to face her, slightly tilting his head as his eyes focused on her lips. He licked his bottom lip, a faint smirk appearing in his face. “You know, I was drunk when I texted you on Saturday, but I… meant every fucking word,” He let the words slip out with a warm, wicked charm, “I couldn’t get you out of my mind… do you know how many fucking times I touched myself thinking of you? Wishing I was fucking into you until your knees gave out, wishing it was your mouth around my cock, wishing it was your skin I was drinking.”  

Her breath was caught in her throat. She wouldn’t have imagined that being gone for more than a week had left this effect on him. His words were weakening her limbs, her core clenching with desire. “Suguru… we’re in the library,” It was all that she could respond with. Her eyes darted from left to right, frantically checking their surroundings, only to be met with nothing; no one. The library of their university was a five floor building, filled with vast halls, covered with an enormous amount of tall, gigantic bookshelves. With the amount of people present there at the moment, it would be hard to catch both of them in this position. Geto’s cocky grin grew wider, lust shining through his eyes. “So? It’s not like anyone’s around… and that hasn’t stopped us from fucking in campus before,” His voice came out husky, making her almost moan from the sound, “You don’t remember cumming on my dick in the bathroom of the Visual Arts Department? Second floor? Hm? You don’t remember how empty the park in your faculty was around December? How you were riding me, moaning out my name the way that you do, out in such a public place like that?”

Her face was a deep shade of red, unable to hold in the embarrassment and the arousal building up inside of her. One of his hands ran to her thigh, rubbing up the exposed skin gently before snaking its way inside of her a-line mini plaid skirt. Teasing her skin, his fingers trailed to the inside of her thigh, drawing soft circles. She let out broken whimpers, eyes threatening to slam itself shut. As he continued to stroke her thighs, he swallowed her whimpers with kisses, capturing her lips with urgency. “So, what will it be, darling?” His rough, low voice was dancing with mischief. She stared straight into him, no longer able to keep it in. There was something she had lacked from him in their affair. Something that Geto rarely gave her. “Go down on me, please… I… I need you there,” She uttered in a whisper, her words making his pupils dilate with excitement. “I thought you’d never ask,” Geto teased her, “Want me to fuck you with my tongue, baby? Hm?” She could only nod, feeling embarrassed at the thought of even asking. Geto pressed more kisses on her skin, trailing down her jaw line. “I need to hear you say it though baby,” He added in between kisses. She let out an exasperated, quiet sigh, frustrated by his teasing. “I want you to eat me out, Suguru,” The words fell from her tongue, her insides dying of shame, but her core throbbed at the humiliation.

Geto let out a low chuckle, “That’s my girl.” He left kisses on her neck, before dropping slowly to his knees, eyes never leaving hers. She swallowed a nervous gulp, insanely aroused by the sight. Geto pushed her skirt up, bunching it up in her waist. Kissing her thighs, he moved upwards. One of his hands parted her legs, placing one over his shoulder. Her pussy was throbbing at his piercing eyes looking straight into hers. Holding out a finger, he traced the outline of her cunt through her lacy black underwear, giving a gentle press as he dragged. A smug smile formed on his lips after licking his bottom lip. “You’re this wet already,” He stated through his grin, continuing to tease her through her underwear, “I wonder how dripping you will be once we finish.” Her breath hitched, whimpering at his words and tantalizing touch. With his index finger, he moved the underwear to the side, exposing her pussy to the cold air of the library. He hungrily stared at her cunt before shifting his gaze back to her.

He dove in, licking a long stripe from her entrance to her clit, eliciting a choked, quiet moan from her. Her hands flew to the top of his head, fingers grabbing strands of his hair. She gently pulled them, earning a groan from Geto that sent vibrations to her core. Her breath staggered, a loud moan threatening to escape her lips. “It’s okay to moan baby, even better if they can hear how loud you are when I’m touching you,” Geto whispered before continuing to suck on her clit. The combination of his tongue and mouth moving desperately slow was making her legs weak, almost dropping a book from the sudden grab of one of the racks behind her. She held on to the wooden rack tightly as Geto gradually fastened his pace, sucking on her clit whilst his tongue made flicking motions. Stammered breaths and quiet whimpers filled the air. She closed her eyes shut, head leaning on the books behind her as the pleasure from her cunt sent butterflies in her stomach. Geto watched her get lost in his mouth, moaning against her clit at the beautiful sight before him.

As the flicks of his tongue moved at a quick pace, her whines turned into breathy moans; the sounds he had waited to hear. “That feels… so good baby… please… don’t stop Suguru, fuck…” She moaned out so filthily that it made Geto feral. He smirked against her, continuing his steady rhythm. His middle finger reached out to tease her entrance once more, earning a gasp from her. He inserted the finger slowly, feeling her walls against his skin. Her lips pressed into a tight line, holding in a moan from attempting to crawl out of her throat. Her hips bucked, making Geto dive in deeper to her cunt. Geto’s tongue consistently lapped up her clit as he rocked his finger inside of her, deliberate strokes to slowly reach her sensitive spot. Just when she thought it couldn’t get better, he inserted his ring finger. A loud moan slipped from her lips, immediately retreating one hand from her hair to cover her mouth. Geto pulled his head away, though still continuing to stroke his digits, curling them against her gummy walls. “Don’t cover your mouth, let me fucking hear you moan,” His voice low and coarse, “And don’t take your eyes off of me.” She whimpered as she nodded, her hands returning to his hair.

Geto went right back to suck on her clit, going dangerously fast with his tongue as his fingers quickened its pace inside of her pussy. Quiet moans broke out from her lips, mouth agape from the pleasure. She was having a hard time keeping her eyes on him, her lids threatening to shut itself. He looked ethereal on his knees, hair messy as he went down on her. The sight itself was sending her to the edge. Geto’s digits rubbed against her sensitive spot, making her drop her head and letting out another loud, lewd moan. Geto groaned in return, curling his fingers inside of her. Her moans became choked, breathy and strained. She was close, and he could feel it. From the way her legs were starting to tremble, the way her pussy was clenching his fingers tighter, “Suguru, I’m gonna… cum, fuck… I’m gonna cum baby.” Geto faintly smiled. As he went down on her, Geto had been trying hard to ignore the suffocating erection forming under his baggy jeans. At that moment, he became impossibly hard as he watched her reach her high, looking divine above him. She finally climaxed from the unrelenting pace of his tongue and fingers. Her cunt was swallowing his fingers. Her hips bucked furiously, thighs pressing together with his head in between. Lewd moans erupted from the back of her throat, almost sounding like she was quietly sobbing. Geto slowed down his pace, helping her ride out her orgasm, eyes never leaving one another’s.

Her heaving chest slowly calmed down, rubbing his head gently in appreciation. Geto retreated his head and fingers, staring up at her with heavy-lidded eyes. His mouth and chin was glistening, an incredibly indecent view to behold. He placed his fingers — dripping with her juices — in between his lips. He sucked on it in such a lewd manner, whilst staring right through her. She whimpered at the titillating scene, embarrassed yet unbelievably aroused, looking away as she felt her cheeks warming up. Geto huffed out a smile, slowly standing up. Towering over her, he cupped her chin with his clean hand, turning her head to face him. His wet fingers grazed her bottom lip. “Open up baby, I want you to taste yourself too,” He uttered, dragging out his words seductively. She gulped before slightly opening her mouth, letting Geto’s fingers enter. She greeted him with her tongue, closing around the digits. She sucked on his fingers whilst staring up at him with a half-lidded gaze, swallowing the salty taste of her own cum. Geto grunted, fighting the urge to touch himself at such a filthy sight.

He pulled his fingers back and pressed his lips against her with urgency. The kiss was messy, heavy breaths and tongues meeting. “Suguru, fuck… that was… amazing,” She said in between kisses, chest heaving at his lustful smooches. “So pretty… cumming on my mouth and fingers,” Geto muttered, continuing to press his lips with such haste. His grip was tight on her waist. Getting lost in his lips, she almost forgot about the time. “Fuck, what time… is it,” She whispered, slowly pulling back from the kiss. Geto let go of his hold on her, checking his phone, “Uh… it’s 11:51.” Her eyes grew twice in size, covering her mouth with her hand. “Fuck, I can’t be late! I have class,” She frantically ran to the desk she had occupied and grabbed her bag. Geto stood there, mouth slightly hung open, unsure of how to react. There was an odd feeling settling in his chest. She slung her bag over her shoulder and hurriedly walked back to Geto. “Thank you for that, handsome, it was… unbelievable,” The string of words escaped her lips in a quick manner, “I’m so sorry, I have to go, I’ll talk to you later okay?” She briskly pressed a kiss on his cheek before waving him goodbye as her body turned, walking towards the door. Geto remained standing at the same spot, left wordless, unable to process what had happened and the indescribable feeling that spread down to his guts.

---

“Hello, thankfully you remembered to meet up with me again,” Yaga attempted to make a light-hearted joke, “I have a few ideas lined up, which includes, again, extra credit… This is to raise up your grades of course.” She nodded, paying attention to his words. Yaga took a few papers from his bag and handed it to her. She accepted them in her hands, skimming over the words. “It’s quite early in the semester, and you have only taken two quizzes and a test so far, and yes, you can call me being paranoid and dramatic, but I can see where your scores are heading, and like I said… it’s not looking good,” He continued, his expression slightly tense at the last few words, “But! That means there’s only three extra credit scores that you need to fulfill, and the deadline for those three will be in two weeks, so that should give you time.” She continued to nod, feeling grateful for Yaga. Placing the papers inside of her folder, she stuffed it back inside of her bag.

“Lastly… I assume that from your grades so far… you haven’t been keeping up well with the materials, and I need you to be right back on track to resume your studies,” Yaga added, scratching his head as though he was reluctant to say the next few words, “I decided to personally assign you our TA for this class, and before you complain, none of this is negotiable… I need you to progress quickly and I think a tutor will really help with that, and to keep me updated on your progress as well.” Her mouth hung open, eyebrows knitted together as if holding in complaints from escaping her mouth. She closed it back up, though her expression was unchanging. “Do you not… trust me enough to… fix this on my own?” She commented, slightly hurt at the insinuation of these tasks. A flash of her mom crossed her mind, her hands waving in the air as she shouted profanities at her daughter. Papers flying in the air, and glasses broken. Yaga waved his hands in dismissal. “No, I trust you fully, but this is not about that, I can assure you,” He attempted to clarify. A brief expression of guilt crossed his face, “I just need you to be right on track again, and fast, as fast as our class next week, and I think being assigned a tutor will be really helpful for you.”

Contemplating his words, she sighed in defeat. There was no space for bargaining anyways. She reluctantly nodded. “Okay, I get it… but, thank you… for still giving me a chance,” She uttered with a slight tremble in her voice, “I’m sorry… for making you worry, and adding more on your already full plate.” Yaga faintly smiled, a sympathetic expression taking over his face. “There’s no need to apologize, of course I worry,” He replied in a quieter voice, “I don’t want to see one of my top students failing… you have a bright future ahead of you, please don’t throw it away no matter what the situation is, I will be here… to try my hardest to help.” His words struck something in her. It penetrated an old wound, but instead of leaving more scars, it felt like a hand was gently patting on it. She bowed to him, making him wave his hands once more to dismiss her gesture. A knock was heard, making Yaga turn to the door. He motioned for the person to come in.

“Right, I’m sure you know each other already, considering he is the TA for this class and your class last semester, but yes, he will help keep your progress on track for the next… three weeks, a month max, I mean… if you still need him after, that’s also fine, you guys just try to… work out the schedule amongst yourselves,” Yaga motioned to the man that had walked up to him, “Alright, I’ll leave you guys to it, I have to go to a faculty meeting, I’ll see you guys later.” She waved at Yaga as he left the room. Inhaling a quiet, sharp breath, she turned her head to face the man. “Hi Gojo, I’m… sorry for this arrangement, I heard you’re currently doing your thesis as well, so I hope this isn’t… messing up with your schedule,” She uttered with a remorseful look. Gojo waved his hand down at her words, pushing his black-rimmed oval-framed glasses back. “Ah, there’s no need to apologize or worry about that, I’d love to help,” He threw her a warm, bright grin, the silver ring on the left corner of his bottom lip shining from the room’s lighting. Though she found his smile to be incredibly sweet and seemingly genuine, she nervously gulped, throwing him a smile that didn’t seem to reach her eyes. She wasn’t sure if Gojo could actually sense the fiddly but faint reactions from her. She wasn’t certain whether he knew about Geto and her being friends, and especially whatever they are now. She wouldn’t even know what to say to Geto about this whole arrangement, considering that Gojo was his former best friend.

“What did Professor Yaga tell you… exactly?” She questioned with concern written all over her face, a flash of embarrassment appearing. Gojo motioned with his hands as he talked, pupils shifting to look upwards to the ceiling as though he was trying to recollect the professor’s instructions. “It was… actually me who helps him grade tests and quizzes in his classes, and I noticed that your scores have… dropped,” He stated with a faint pout, “We discussed it, and he said that it was best to assign me as your personal tutor to help you… that’s pretty much it, I guess.” She nodded slowly, taking in his words. Shame and embarrassment flooded her chest, her face growing red. She didn’t know why, but the thought of Gojo seeing her grades made her want to crawl into a hole. He was someone she respected after all. For his accomplishments, perseverance, discipline, and overall intellect. “Fuck, this is embarrassing, I can’t believe you had to see my grades,” Out of sheer panic, the words slipped off of her tongue like a reflex. The second it left her lips, regret came crashing down.Gojo was slightly taken aback, confused as to why she felt that in particular. I can’t believe you had to see my grades. You. “Why are you embarrassed? There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” His frown grew, concern drawn on his face at her reaction, “We all go through shit, and sometimes it makes us drop, and that’s okay, no one is judging you here.” He took a step forward, slightly bending his body to get closer to her. “I’ll help you get out of this academic rut,” He added as he gave her a wide smile, “Professor Yaga… cares a lot about you, he thinks you’ll be big someday… he talks about you quite a lot actually, it’s a bit endearing to hear.” She nodded, looking down on the floor. The revelation made her cheeks tint with a red shade. It didn’t help that Gojo was absurdly close to her. She didn’t know how to act if she had to look at him from that distance. “Thank you… for your help… I also didn’t expect Professor Yaga… to be like that…” She stated her gratefulness, slightly trailing off. Letting out a heavy breath, she spoke, “I guess we have to work out our schedules, huh?” Gojo nodded, getting one of his books and pen out from his backpack. Flipping over some pages, he finally landed on the page he was looking for. “I have time during Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays,” He spoke as his eyes were still glued on the book. She hummed in acknowledgement, thinking of her own schedule. “That actually… sounds good… I have an early class on Wednesday, no classes on Thursday, and I’m pretty much free on Sundays… since I usually take that day for some down time by myself,” She stated as her pupils remained staring at the ceiling. Gojo nodded, closing his book and placing it back on his backpack. Zipping the bag up, he slung it over his shoulder, “You have my number in the group right?”. She nodded, giving him a gentle smile of acknowledgement. He threw her a big, warm smile in return, “I’ll see you Wednesday, then.”

Notes:

when i first saw that photo montage of gojo's school years, and i spotted the one where he was kind of bent on his desk looking tired as hell studying his notes, i thought... omg... wouldn't he be such a nerd? the way he had to learn so much by himself because of his technique, like u gotta be smart af if u can maximize it the way he did. and then the nerdjo started trending and that pushed me further down the rabbit hole. nerdjo is my weakness, and i just had to write about it. and yes, sorry, he just had to be a physics kid, i don't make the rules haha. as usual, thank you for reading!

Chapter 3: who knew we'd be here?

Notes:

TW: nsfw

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

“Okay, before we continue, is there anything you’re having trouble with regarding the materials? I understand that it’s… very packed, but Professor Yaga did tell me to… ‘execute things quickly’... his words not mine.” Gojo questioned gently, a lopsided grin plastered on his face. She pursed her lips, forming the words in her head, “I’m so sorry, can you just… repeat the part on how LIGO extracts the final mass? Just the final mass… because I already get how it extracts chirp mass, spin, and amplitude, and actually, I kind of get that the final mass is from the “final” ring but… yea, I just want to make sure that I didn’t misunderstand.” Gojo nodded gingerly, silently impressed that she was able to take in the abundance of information — two classes that she hadn’t been paying attention to — in only half an hour. It was the smoothest tutoring session he has ever had. “No need to be sorry, it took me some time as well to understand, but yea, I mean you’re basically correct already but we can go over it again if you need.” He replied with a faint grin, trying to suppress how excited the discussion had made him. Gojo didn’t want to freak her out, as other people have had that reaction. She scoffed playfully, “Did it really? Or are you just bullshitting?” Gojo let out a light, husky chuckle. “Well, I’m not lying since I had to read that chapter a little longer than I usually did, but yea I understood it immediately after the first read,” He shrugged, feigning a casual demeanor. She laughed at his cocky attitude seeping through, her voice making him reflexively grin wide. “I knew you can be kind of smug, but you somehow found a way to be subtle about it,” She joked with her eyes rolled. “Well, what do you want me to say? I'm just... kinda born with it,” He bantered in return, making her smack his arm playfully.

Spending time with Gojo was a surprise to her. It was, apparently, not difficult to get along with the man. He was a batch above her, same as Geto. They hadn’t known each other much, despite having a lot of friends in common. She got to know Geto in her fourth semester. It took him a few months before he introduced her to his group of friends, who ended up becoming her friends as well. Gojo was an exception, because their friendship cracked just two weeks before Geto invited her to his group hangouts. She came into that friend group during an awkward time; an intense friendship breakup between two people in the same circle. Shoko, Mei Mei, and Nanami were still close with Geto, especially Shoko and Nanami. Gojo, Geto, and Shoko were especially close, so it was quite a rough situation for Shoko. Although, she did a good job hiding how she truly felt about it to the others. Yuki had been pretty neutral in that situation, choosing not to dwell on the issue too much. Meanwhile, Utahime had been Geto’s confidante when it came to their friendship problem. In the end, Utahime had never really been fond of the man. Geto never minded that they’re still in contact with Gojo. In fact, he’s glad. He still had great affection for his former best friend after all, despite never wanting to admit it. Geto himself never talked much to her about Gojo. He never had a problem making petty and malicious comments wrapped in a smile to the group, though the same behavior can’t be said when it’s just the two of them. Avoidance was his usual tactic when the white-haired man’s name was mentioned. She was never quite certain why that is. There was one time where he was drunk out of his mind, mumbling about guilt regarding Gojo when she brought up a story that happened in her class. She wasn’t sure if he remembered it, and she was reluctant to bring it up. She never really understood what had happened between them in the first place.

She herself had never interacted much with the man beforehand. Exchanging smiles, waves, and small talk whenever they passed by each other in the halls or when they had to interact in class. Before last semester, before Geto, she had only ever heard of him. There were only a couple of times where she had seen him in the halls of their department. He was hard to miss after all, with his white hair and insanely tall figure. They only ever started talking last semester because of their shared class. Although, she would hear quite often about him. Gojo had always been one of the biggest gossip topics amongst the students in her faculty, ranging from fascination to jealousy. He became a student there due to getting the highest score for the scholarship qualifying test, a feat that people at first thought was a fluke. The man came from a wealthy family, to put it lightly. That was until he actually started attending university.

People realized that he was a giant nerd that has a particular obsession with solving mathematical equations and star formations in galaxies. Despite his cockiness, his attitude wasn’t exactly what made people feel intimidated to approach him. They witnessed him excelling in academia, his formidable accomplishments, his dedication and pure love for his studies. He quickly gained the respect and admiration of his peers, but it gradually evolved into many feeling intimidated. It didn’t help that he was strikingly attractive. Some students saw him as a competition, some saw him as some sort of mythical being. Men and women swoon over him, but many find it difficult to initiate a conversation with him. Some that did and were able to talk to him — more than small-talk — were thrown off by the difficult topics he found interest in, finding it hard to keep up. In actuality, Gojo didn’t need people to talk about those things with him. None of his previous friend groups really talked about accretion disk physics with him anyways; ever. He had thought that these people threw in that topic for them to discuss, to which he excitedly flooded them with what he knew, expecting a deeper discussion.

From her understanding and observations, Gojo didn’t have that many friends despite being quite well-known and admired. He was an anomaly to everyone. A lot of people still held on to the stereotypical idea of what a nerd is, so it was quite a confusion when they saw Gojo. What can’t he do? He has a humongous brain, but he’s sociable; charming even. Not to mention that he doesn’t dress or look like a typical nerd to them. It became a hot topic when he got a lip piercing three semesters ago. He was a social butterfly without its kaleidoscope. To her, he always just seemed like another guy, except that he’s insanely intellectual. The capacity of his brain impressed her beyond belief. The knowledge that he had, how systematized his explanations are when he breaks down the materials that are being taught. It was commendable to her. Not to mention the charisma he held to capture the students’ attention whenever he teaches, creating an environment that’s more engaging; at least in class. So far, she hadn’t seen anything that would put her off from getting along with him, aside from his smug attitude at times. Though even with all of this, he was still a stranger to her. A stranger with red strings attached to hers.

Geto had been radio silent ever since the whole arrangement Yaga had set up. She had called him during her walk back to her apartment after discussing with Gojo, but he was not picking up. She figured he was still in class. Geto’s Mondays are always packed in the morning and in the late afternoon until the evening. She decided to text him regarding the situation. There was no way he could be mad, it was a non-negotiable deal she had with Yaga. She had to fix her mistakes, she had to pass. Her chest felt uneasy throughout the whole night, waiting for his call, his notification, but she was met with silence. She was now sitting with her tutor, and still, there were no words from the man.

---

“Gojo I… actually kept declining your offer for a reason,” She chewed on her cheeks, “After an intensive one hour and a half hour of going over CMB to LIGO, I… need a cigarette, since I assume you don’t smoke, I didn’t want you to like… wait for me smoking for us to go home.” She chuckled softly whilst looking down on the ground. After their tutoring session, Gojo had asked her how she would be going home. After finding out that she was taking the bus, he offered to drive her back to her apartment. Gojo laughed at the revelation, taking off the strap of his backpack and fishing something from it. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, earning a gasp from her. “Wait… you smoke? Scandalous,” She teasingly retorted. Gojo chuckled, the sound low and husky. She almost smiled from how attractive it sounded, immediately slapping herself internally for the intrusive thought. “Actually, I only started last semester,” Gojo confessed as he pulled out a cigarette, “Doing my thesis… stresses me out a lot… and apparently… nicotine just tastes so good when you’re stressed.” She giggled in response, pulling out her own pack from her sling bag.

They headed towards the back of the Physics Department canteen, where a cement table and bench stood amongst the grassy grounds. “So, when did you start smoking?” Gojo questioned with curiosity. He already knew that she smoked, sometimes finding a sight of her smoking in the park or in the back of the canteen. “I started in high school, during my last year,” She recalled the memory in her mind, sitting with Megumi at the back of the school. They had bought a pack and a lighter to share, coughing as the smoke first entered their lungs. “My high school friend and I were… going through something, and for shits and giggles, to just kinda… cheer us up from it, we tried smoking,” She continued, finding the story to be incredibly silly, “But well, we didn’t realize just how addicting it quickly became.” Gojo huffed out a chuckle as they sat down on the bench. She placed her bag and phone in between them. Checking the time on her phone, she was relieved that she still had a lot of spare time to relax and continue studying once she got back. Gojo lit up his cigarette, keeping the lighter on for her. After she took a puff, she broke the silence, “What’s your thesis about by the way?” Gojo blew his smoke to the side, one of his hands fidgeting with the lighter. “I’m… investigating metallicity gradients in the milky way,” He replied, bouncing his foot reflexively, “I’ve always been interested in galactic evolution, and I had the idea of investigating that to… constrain those models.” She hummed in response, interested in probing about the topic. As she was about to speak, her phone buzzed. Instinctively, the both of them turned to the source of the sound.

Geto’s name popped up on the screen, a few message notifications from him appearing. Her eyes grew twice in size, cheeks turning warm at the situation. The fact that Gojo saw it had frozen her in place. She wasn’t sure what to do, not being able to move somehow. “Are you just gonna stare at it or…?” Gojo retorted, a chuckle escaping his lips. There was a faint bitterness in his tone, something she had not caught. Gulping, she let out a nervous laughter, “Ah… right, give me… a second.” Her hand slightly trembled as she took the phone in her hands, trying to obscure the view of her screen so that Gojo didn’t see the content. He shifted his gaze elsewhere, not wanting to accidentally invade her privacy further. She opened up Geto’s messages, her eyes almost popping out of their sockets as she read the texts.

Suguru

28/02/24

15:11

‘Why does that piece of shit have to be your tutor?’

‘Where are you right now?’

‘Is he there?’

She clicked her tongue, biting her lip as her shoulders started to tense. Gojo stole a glance at her expressions, noticing her nerves spiking up. Gojo contemplated speaking out his thoughts, but decided to hold it back in. She furiously typed away a few words on her screen.

28/02/24

15:12

‘Well, I didn’t ask for it, I tried bargaining but Yaga was persistent’

‘’He’s our TA anyway, you know this already’

‘I’m still with him in the Physics canteen, we just finished up our session’

She locked her phone, not wanting to wait for his reply. She placed her phone back beside her, taking a puff of her cigarette. Her jaw was clenched tight, eyes burning with an intensity that made Gojo change his mind, “Does he have a problem? If he does, he can talk to me instead of bothering you about it, you have enough on your plate already.” He kept his composure, but you can hear the curtness and firmness in his voice. Letting out a deep exhale, she rubbed her temples. Tapping her cigarette, she held the cigarette close to her lips. Before inhaling it, she uttered, “He does, but that’s for him to deal with, this shouldn’t be a problem in the first place since I’m just trying to focus on my studies again.” Gojo smirked, relieved and satisfied with her answer. He hummed in response, inhaling his cigarette. As the smoke escaped his lips, slowly floating away into the cold air, he spoke again, “How are you though? Are you… okay?” She turned her head to face him, noticing the concern in his expression. She gave him a reassuring nod, “Yea, yea I’m… okay… just… god it’s… complicated.” He figured. Geto wasn’t exactly a simple man.

She clicked her tongue, “Did you know? About us being… friends?” Pictures of her flashed in Gojo’s mind. He would come across her hanging out with his old group of friends, looking especially close with Geto. His mind then conjured up a memory of Geto; a memory of their screaming match. “Of course I did,” He admitted to her, a lump forming in his throat, “He told stories about you to us, wanted to introduce you to us too, until… well…” He let out a short chuckle, sour in its tone. Gojo wondered if he should tell her the whole story, from the beginning. After a moment, he decided to save that for another day. He didn’t want to freak her out. She nodded slowly, taking the words in. So, he knew. She wondered what he thought of her before. “I… don’t mean to pry but… what happened? From what I heard, you, Geto, and Shoko were like… inseparable since high school,” She carefully asked, a little regret washed over her chest. She didn’t want to push him away, not after finding out how pleasant it had been to spend time with him so far.

Gojo took a deep puff, the smoke penetrating deep into his lungs. He fiddled the lip ring with his teeth, his eyes seemingly lost in thought. “It’s… like you said, complicated as well… might take a while to tell the story,” He let out a short chuckle at the end, the sound not reaching the joy of a laughter. Pondering her next move, she cleared her throat. “I understand, I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable,” She scrambled her thoughts for the next words coming out of her mouth, “But if you… ever want to… talk to me about it… you’re welcome to talk to me about it.” She finished off her sentence while looking away, not wanting to look in his eyes. He shifted his gaze to her, watching her chest rise up and down, seemingly taking deep breaths. He noticed her lips, pressed into a tight line as her eyes darted from the ground to the gloomy winter skies; melancholic in its gaze. Strands of her black hair blew to her face from the wind passing by, the sight sending warmth to his chest. He felt the tips of his ears reddening from the view. “Thank you… I… maybe another time, I don’t want to… bring the mood down further right now,” He huffed out a smile, flustering as he remembered her grin from across the table back then.

She tilted her head to face him, meeting with his soft stare. His glasses slightly hanging low on the bridge of his nose. He really was painfully beautiful. It was no wonder that she’d hear about him so often, the stares of adoration he would get his way. “It’s alright, no pressure,” She giggled, trying to ease the tension of the conversation, “There’s always time, that is if you don’t get sick of me soon enough.” Gojo raised a brow at her joke, an incredulous expression painted on his face as he let out a dry laugh, “I doubt that, that would be the case.” He redirected his gaze to the lighter in his hand, toying with the hood of the match. “It’s not a surprise that people talk about how lovely you are,” He said quietly, purposely almost like a whisper. She hummed with a cocked brow, as though asking him to repeat what he muttered under his breath. He shook his head, opting to take another puff of his cigarette. She squinted her eyes at him, “Come on, what?” All of a sudden, her phone rang. She cursed in a hushed voice as she grabbed the device in her hand, eyeing the screen. She scoffed as she silently read the name, rolling her eyes as Geto’s picture flashed on her phone. Accepting the call, she greeted the man with a monotone voice. “Need a ride home?” No greetings whatsoever.

“No, I’m good, thank you.”

“Then, how are you getting back?”

“Gojo’s driving me back.”

“What? Why would he do that? He lives-”

“Why are you asking me?”

“... I’m driving you.”

“No you’re not, where the hell are you even? That’s too much of a hassle.”

“I’m at my place, I’m going to campus.”

“No you’re not, I’m already in the car, goodbye.”

“No, wait, how-”

“I tried calling you, I texted you, but there’s no answer up until today… This isn’t the first, second, third, fourth, nor the fifth time you’ve done this to me Geto! I know your schedule is packed, I know your thesis is taking up a lot of your time, but I know you’re not that goddamn busy to not read my messages! It’s been two fucking days! It fucking sucks that I have to keep waiting on you to even get a sliver of response.”

Silence. Not a word from Geto nor Gojo, who had been holding in his breath at the mention of his name during the phone call. His jaw tightened as the conversation escalated with a tension that spread to his shoulders. Though he couldn’t help but feel proud of her for confronting Geto. The man needed to be slapped with harsh words from time to time. A literal slap would be great as well. “Listen, I’m so-” Geto finally spoke with a slightly strained voice before she turned off the phone call with ire. Placing her phone inside of her bag, she put out her dying cigarette on the soles of her calf boots. Gojo followed in suit, dragging the ends of his shortened cigarette against the cement bench. They both threw the butt to the trash can near them, just behind the cement bench. “Wanna go?” She asked Gojo, feigning a bright grin; eyes almost covered by her rising cheeks. Gojo held in his breath, nodding quickly.

She closed the buttons of her long coat, striding forward with Gojo by her side. “We’ll turn over there, my car’s in the faculty parking lot,” Gojo broke the silence, almost forgetting where they were going. She nodded as she kept her gaze ahead. He stole glances at her, taking note of her clenched jaw. He couldn’t hear what Geto was saying on the other line, but he felt her frustration. Geto was cunning with his words, knowing how to intricately carve his phrases, crafting sentences to serve his needs, his interests. Gojo huffed out a breath at the memories intruding his mind. “Does he do that often?” He couldn’t help but ask, curiosity clawing at his mind. She tilted her head to the side, meeting his gaze, “Do what exactly?” Gojo gulped as he watched her eyes, her stare looking like she was trying to dissect him. He cleared her throat, facing the pavement ahead. “You know… the push and pull,” He carefully spoke, as though he was trying not to step on the eggshells. He doesn’t know her to that extent yet, after all. She clicked her tongue, lowering her head, “Yea… he does.” Gojo’s stare was charged with silent intensity, brows drawn together. He couldn’t believe what he had been hearing. Geto had promised.

“I’m… sorry to hear, it’s… not fair what he’s doing to you, it’s cruel… actually,” Goto uttered, flustered from trying to hold in his anger. She hummed softly in response. Letting out a quiet sigh, she shrugged, “It’s… yea it’s shitty… I’m… I’ve been trying to… be more vocal about it to him.” She chuckled at her own words. She knew being confrontative wasn’t enough. She had to leave. It has been happening since November. Was she ready to let him go? Even she doubted herself. This magnetic pull that Geto had, it was hard not to come crawling back. “That’s good,” Gojo said quietly, “You’re doing great, I know it’s… not exactly easy.” That was an understatement to her. It had been hell. She couldn’t understand why the man felt like a drug to her. Geto had been a dear friend to her. It was him who dragged her to the hospital that one time, keeping her company throughout the whole night. He almost prayed to a God, whoever was possibly out there, hoping that she’d survive. He had always been around, as a friend, a confidante, through the ups and downs.

Despite the lingering crush she had always had on him, she never did anything about it. Their friendship came first, and she would rather keep quiet about her feelings than ruin it. She always had a feeling, an intuition that he knew. It disappointed her beyond belief when things took a drastic turn. That night in August in her apartment, when they got a little bit more touchy than usual, the stares that lingered on longer than they should have, that was when it started. There weren’t many problems in the beginning. The lack of conversation regarding what happened had bothered her, but didn’t want to press on. It hadn’t bothered her as much. Geto was still affectionate, caring, and tended to her needs. As November arrived, he got more distant; unless he needed a pick-me-up in the form of her in his sheets. “Thank you Gojo, that’s… what I needed to hear… I think,” She said as her gaze softened, not wanting to burden her tutor even more about her relationship problems with his former best friend. “I’m sorry he… kind of disturbed our time today… I’m sure it’s not exactly amazing for you,” She uttered with a huff as she stared at the pavement. Gojo let out a dry laugh, holding out his hand and hovering over her shoulder. There was something that made him pause, hesitating to touch her. He had no problems being physically affectionate with other people, so why were his fingers twitching? He inhaled a deep breath and landed his hand on her shoulder, gently rubbing it.

Her head slightly jolted in shock, her mouth agape. She slowed her steps before it finally came to a halt. Turning her head to face him, she eyed him with warmth, though traces of surprise still remained. “It’s alright… I’m definitely more concerned about you,” He said with a giggle, his hand still soothing her shoulder. Bit by bit, her lips curved into a gentle smile, sending a peculiar flutter in his chest. “I’ll be okay, I think… but… thank you, sorry for worrying,” She uttered as they continued to walk. Gojo placed his hand back to his side, the other gripping the strap of his bag tighter. She could feel her shoulder burn from his touch, the sensation lingering on her skin through the layers of clothing. Biting her lip, she decided to change the topic. She didn’t want Gojo to feel more heavy than he probably already had. This was their first time ever really interacting, talking, and even studying with each other. “I’m curious Gojo,” She suddenly spoke with an airy tone, perking his ears up, “Why astrophysics? Why the obsession?” Gojo paused before a laugh escaped from his lips, eyes closed from glee.

---

Her building came into view in her peripheral vision. She pointed at it, bordered by the tinted car windows, “Ah, that’s my building, the brick one.” His eyes followed the direction where she had pointed. Feeling a small disappointment that they had arrived, he quietly sighed; unheard by her ears. She grabbed her bag and turned to face him. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then,” He stated, the despondency faintly heard in his tone, though she did not know what to make of it. Maybe she had imagined it. She felt an odd feeling passing through her chest as the car parked in front of her building. It was akin to sadness. She couldn’t believe that she actually had a nice time with the man. Despite the disturbance of one long haired man and the flooding of information during their study session, the rest had been a blast. She couldn’t help but feel like she wanted to spend some more time with Gojo. She was about to invite him inside to hang if he had the time, but she received his words as an end to their time today. “I guess so,” She replied with a warm smile, an attempt to feign the small disappointment washing over her, “Thank you for driving me here, you really didn’t have to, but… I had a good time today and hopefully, I’m up to speed with my studies as well, so thank you so much for that too.” Gojo bit his lip, his upper teeth hitting the silver lip ring. He wanted her to invite him over, to spend more time. Gojo returned her smile, they would see each other tomorrow anyways. “Thank you too… it was… I had a great time as well… so yes, thank you,” He uttered with a fluster that took over his expression and his ability to speak.

She closed the car door behind her, waving at him from the pavement despite not being able to see him through how dark the window tint was. As he drove away, she let out a content sigh. Turning around, she headed inside of her apartment building. When she reached her door, her phone buzzed from her bag. She decided to ignore it until she was inside, but the vibrations continued in a consistent rhythm. It was a phone call. Fishing out her phone as she fumbled with the keys on the lock, she read the name flashed on the screen. Geto. Groaning, she accepted the call, “What do you want?” It was quiet on the other line, but she could hear a faint hum of an engine; a familiar sound. Suddenly, her heart dropped to her guts. She hoped that he’s not doing what she thought he was going to do. “Are you back in your place already?” Geto questioned, his voice saccharine to her ears. It made her slap herself internally. “What’s it to you?” She spat out, needing him to hear the bitterness in her tone. Geto clicked his tongue as the sound of a car door opening was heard, “I just want to apologize baby, please? Can I see you? I promise I’ll get out once I’m done, I don’t want to disturb you.” She scoffed at his words. She didn’t believe him, but a part of her felt the pull. He promised, he promised. He won’t do it again. She didn’t believe those words, but why was it so easy to open the door for him despite that? “Five minutes, and then get out,” She replied, caving in.

After two minutes passed, she heard a knock on the door. Getting up from her couch, she walked towards the door. She unlocked the door, swinging it open but only leaving a small gap. Geto rested his palm on the wooden entrance, tilting his head. “Can I come in? I’ve missed you, you know,” He spoke with a sweet voice, making her clench her jaw. She had to fight this evil, pretty man’s attempts to charm her again. She opened the door slightly wider, immediately walking away as he got in. Geto closed the door behind him, catching up to her and snaking his hand to her waist from the back. She froze in place as the thumping in her heart grew so loud she could hear it in her ears. He lowered his head to lean closer to her ear, taking his other hand to tuck strands of her hair behind it. “I’m sorry baby, I should’ve answered your texts, I should have called you,” He spoke so slowly, the volume nearing a whisper. His tone was sultry, making her fluster. His lips ghosted over her ear as he rubbed soothing circles on her waist. “I’m so sorry, please forgive me baby… I’ve missed you so… so much,” He added as his hand moved from the back of her head to her chin.

He turned her around with the grip on her waist, tilting her chin upwards to face him. Pulling her closer to him, he eyed her lips. “I was too focused on my thesis, I should’ve replied to you, and I’m sorry for earlier… I promise it won’t happen again, I just… I got worried that he’ll… do something to hurt your feelings,” Geto continued, his fingers traveling from her chin to the back of her neck. She had been holding in her breath, holding on to herself from falling apart in his hold. “He didn’t do anything to hurt me, why would he do that anyways?” She spoke, a little bit more quiet this time. She could feel herself growing weaker the longer he held her. “I don’t know, with the way he broke off our friendship, I just didn’t want you to experience the same thing, or even worse,” Geto continued, voice still soft as ever. Her eyes slightly widened, the revelation was a surprise to her. She never knew that it was Gojo that decided to leave. “See? I… don’t know that, you… never tell me anything! You shut me off the more we get closer, you shut me off the moment things get serious,” She frustratedly spoke, gradually raising her voice in anger, “Is it so hard to be with me? I’m not asking for much Geto, I… I just want… I just…” Want you to love me. There was a faint surprise in Geto’s eyes, his mouth opening up to speak, but nothing seemed to come out.

She let go of his grip, taking a step backward before trying to turn away from him. Geto held her arm, pulling her back before crashing his lips onto hers. His hand snaked to the back of her neck, while the other returned to her waist. “It’s not… I’m sorry, I should’ve… been more open with you,” He uttered in between kisses. The feeling of his lips pressing hot against hers had pushed her off the edge. “You’re such… a dick…” She muttered as she continued the kiss, deepening it as she grabbed onto his shoulders, his black trucker jacket bunched up in her fingers. “Fuck, I’ve missed hearing that… I’ve missed you baby…” His hands ran to her thighs, lifting her up. Her legs wrapped around his waist as he dragged her to her bedroom. He gently laid her down in bed, hovering over her as he continued to shower her with kisses on her neck, “So pretty… my fucking pretty girl.”

Notes:

astrophysics is... idk why i burdened myself by making that our girl and gojo's major... the amount of shit i had to read my god HAHAHAH but i mean it was interesting af BUT YAY we have gojo time now. but i do notice some things from my writing, and i keep making the mc... seem too similar with the girls i've had crushes on before.

anyways... hope you guys will like it! thank u for reading:)

Chapter 4: it's so pretty from your lips

Notes:

aaa i had a good day today, and i was able to continue editing this fic in the midst of such an insane schedule, so here u guys go! hope you'll like it:D

Sunday, March 3, 2024

“Look, I’m not exactly saying that ΛCDM isn’t… elegant, I get that it can explain the CMB power spectrum in such a… beautiful way, but… when it comes to galaxy-scale phenomena, rotation curves for example, actually, especially that, modified gravity models still does a better job! And with less arbitrary assumptions at that,” She argued, her eyes glistening with intensity. It was a look he knew all too well, and it burned the fire within him. A lopsided smirk curved in his lips. “That’s an oversimplication, no? It might reproduce rotation curves, yea sure, but! It kind of fails, spectacularly I might add… on cluster scales,” Gojo debated her back, his eyes widening with excitement, “If gravity were to be modified, we’d expect the baryonic mass in clusters to match the measurements of the lensing… but hey, lensing… shows way more mass than visible matter accounts for, don’t you think?” He huffed out a wider smile, a wild glint in his eyes; daring her to fight back.

She scoffed whilst rolling her eyes, “Only, and only, if you treat MOND as static Gojo… you’re ignoring relativistic extensions like TeVeS! Because, guess what? Those can reproduce weak lensing signatures… without invoking cold dark matter.” As the debate went on, the both of them gradually leaned closer to each other from across the table. Veins popping, their gazes piercing one another’s. Gojo tongued his cheek, not wanting to back down. “But those overpredict the amplitude of the CMB acoustic peaks, remember? The third peak, specifically… we talked about this on Wednesday… ΛCDM nails that using a cold… pressureless dark matter component,” He tilted his head, quirking a brow, “Whilst TeVeS has to incorporate extra fields to fix that, which, if you actually pay attention, defeats the purpose of being “simpler than dark matter”.” She groaned. He made some good points. “Okay, but your lovely ΛCDM isn’t exactly minimal too, pretty boy… you’re relying on a hypothetical particle that’s never been detected! No WIMPS, no axions, nothing! At some point, you have to question it, right? You have to question whether the missing mass problem is actually telling us something… something deeper about gravity that we don’t know yet.”

A wave of emotions washed over him. It had been so long since he had an equal to discuss and debate with. Her answers had been more than impressive; it was bewitching him. Yaga was right, it wouldn’t be difficult at all to tutor her. Keeping her back on track actually made her return to becoming on equal footing with him. Before their first ever tutoring session, he had been watching her from afar. Whenever he had to grade papers, he looked forward to seeing her answers; eyes lighting up whenever he read them. He longed to have someone to be on par with him. It wasn’t fully to satiate his needs to be intellectually stimulated, but it was more on the comfort. The ease of being understood. Deep down, he had a craving, wishing that someone would just see him as just, typical. There are a few of his peers from his batch that he could have these conversations with, but it wasn’t the same. The intensity, being greeted with the same fervor. Not to mention, connecting more than all of it combined. He could have casual conversations with her. They had talked about their interests; outside of geeking out over their shared major. His love of digimon, their shared love for vintage comics. Gojo found out that she loved to make her own clothes, having her own sewing machine back at home. They went on to share stories of their past, reminiscing the good times, and even bonding over familial traumas; though still steering clear of talking about a certain someone. To add on to it, she called him ‘pretty boy’. That made his breath hitch.

All in the span of a few days. It turns out, they got along really well. She grew to find comfort in her friendship with Gojo. It felt way more than a tutoring session. This was their third meeting, and it felt like he was a long time friend from primary school. She felt connected to him deeply, something that doesn’t happen often. She could count with only one hand how many times it had happened. The relationship had been unbelievably refreshing for her, especially in the midst of a hard time in her life. She wondered why she never tried to approach him earlier. They had spent the last two hours having the tutoring session, ending it with a curious, innocent question, which turned into a full on debate. Invigorating in every sense. They continued their debate, earning a few looks from other students sitting near their table in the canteen.

“The absence of detection doesn’t mean nonexistence… dark matter is inferred from multiple independent lines of evidence… you have galaxy clusters, Lyman-alpha forest, cosmic shear, lensing, and structure formation in the early universe! Whilst modified gravity can’t reproduce the hierarchical clustering pattern that we see in simulations!” Gojo continued to argue, one hand clicking on his pen rhythmically. She clicked his tongue, smirking at him, “That’s because structure formation simulations assume ΛCDM from the start! Listen, if you modeled the primordial power spectrum under MOND-like conditions… the growth factor? It could be different.” Gojo clicked his pen faster, his hand clenching on it tighter. “Not different enough though! Without cold dark matter, perturbations don’t grow fast enough between recombination and z ≈ 10 to form galaxies by-” A loud snap sounded out, snapping the both of them from the trance the debate had driven them under. Her pupils ran to his hand, eyeing the broken pen in his hand. With her mouth hung open, she slowly broke out into laughter; baffled by the scene before her. Gojo stared at the destroyed pen laying on his palm, scoffing in disbelief. “That’s… insane,” She said in between laughter, her cheeks rising up, covering up almost half of her eyes. The gleam of joy in her eyes sent flutters in his chest. It was another trance he didn’t expect to fall under. He nervously swallowed before laughter escaped his lips.

“Okay… maybe it’s time to close our books,” He joked, but still cleaned out his materials on the table. She followed in suit, stuffing her books back in her bag. “It’s lunch time actually, wanna grab some food and then smoke?” She suggested as she continued to clean up her things. Halfway through nodding, his eyes darted around the canteen. It seemed like they hadn’t been paying enough attention to their surroundings since they started their tutoring session. He didn’t realize how packed the canteen had become. “Um… am I crazy or… it’s like… weirdly crowded here?” Gojo’s eyebrows scrunched as he further observed their environment. The tables were all filled with students, cracking open their books, laughing with their friends, laughter breaking out between them. She eyed the canteen, taking a long once over the conditions. Drawing together her eyebrows, she eyed Gojo with confusion, “Since when… is our canteen packed? This is… a rare occurrence.”

Her eyes landed on her classmate from last semester, sitting next to their table. She greeted the man, who waved at her in return. There was a blush forming in his cheeks, something Gojo took notice of. “Riku, you got any idea what’s going on? This place is… rarely crowded, nor was there ever a crowd in the first place.” The student tilted his head to the side, staring at her with a bewildered expression. “Didn’t you hear? The library’s fucked… the snowstorm last night was crazy… crazy enough to break the windows,” Riku informed them, “There was so much snow that got in, the building is like… flooded as soon as they melted.” Her mouth dropped lower, shocked at the revelation. She turned back to Gojo with her mouth hung open before facing the student once more. “My fucking God, okay… thank you by the way, that is… the randomest shit I’ve ever heard, this campus never fails to surprise me,” She uttered whilst huffing out a laugh in bafflement, still befuddled by the information. Riku waved his hand down before returning to his notes, smiling to himself.

His reactions made Gojo quietly giggle to himself. He would often hear things about her. Adoration, admiration, an abundance of compliments. The crushes people had. He wasn’t sure if he knew just how popular she was in their faculty. She was highly respected amongst her peers, some envying her bright mind. It really wasn’t a surprise that she was one of Yaga’s favorite students. He remembered the day Professor Yaga called him over to his office to discuss her grades. The worry in his face, the strain in his voice. “Okay, where do we eat then? I’m not gonna wait half an hour in line for lunch,” Gojo pointed towards the line, making her scoff in disbelief. “Are you serious… that’s… okay, let’s continue packing our shit and think of another place to eat, I think we need a cig first,” She waved her hands in the air as she talked. Gojo chuckled at her response, finding her to be incredibly adorable when frustrated. His cheeks were warming up, making him lower his head slightly, trying to hide his reactions from her.

After they finished getting ready, they headed to the back of the canteen, lighting up their cigarettes. The smoke had slightly warmed them up. It was baffling that February was ending, but the winter somehow grew harsher. “Man, climate change is fucking us up,” She muttered as smoke escaped from her lips. “It’s just gonna get worse each year, the state is largely responsible for this,” He replied as he tongued his cheek. She huffed out a smile, “Maybe we need a revolution… no more will we have a state that continues to serve the interests of the big bourgeoisie." Gojo laughed in response, followed by her own giggles. “By the way, got any ideas of where to eat?” Gojo looked up to the somber sky as he thought of a place. “I don’t really feel like eating in other department canteens, nor other faculties, after seeing… that,” She added as she pointed her thumbs back to the canteen. Gojo nodded in agreement, “Same here, um… what about a cafe?” She pondered the suggestion, scrunching her nose. She sighed, she needed to save up some money. “I mean if you have cheaper options, or cheap cafe suggestions, I’m down… a bit tight on money at the moment, don’t wanna squeeze my scholarship’s allowance,” She said with a shrug. Gojo held his hand up, taking a pause before landing on top of her head. He slightly ruffled her jet-black hair, “Hey, I’ll pay for your food, no worries.” Her cheeks were tinted with a deep shade of a rose at his hand placement. She wondered why little things he does make her fluster.

“Ah no, I don’t wanna owe you anything… you tutoring me because you were instructed by Professor Yaga is burdening you enough already,” She uttered with a pout. A smile couldn’t help but form in his lips at how endearing she looked. “You don’t owe me anything nor are you burdening me, I already told you that I will gladly tutor you, plus… it’s actually… kind of a blessing,” Gojo admitted, blushing at his own admission, “Since, we got to spend time with each other… and it’s been great… plus, let me treat you… nice food will cheer you the hell up.” She let out a laugh, looking up at him with a gentle look. “I’ll tell you what, give me cheap food recommendations, like takeout! I’ll pay for my own food… and just treat me if I get a good score on my next text… that’ll prove to you that you did a great job tutoring me,” She suggested, mischief glimmering in her gaze. Gojo laughed loudly in response, “So I have to treat you because it was me who did a good job?” She nodded gingerly, teasing him, “Exactly!” Gojo continued to laugh, making her chuckle in return. He nodded with his eyes closed, “Okay, deal I guess, and yea, I have good, but cheap food recommendations.” She cheered excitedly, earning a soft smile from him.

He internally debated whether he should say more. He didn’t want to impose nor make her uncomfortable, but he wanted to spend more time with her. Two hours wasn’t enough. Another hour wasn’t enough. Getting takeout meant that they’ll return back to their respective places. He wanted more time. He felt like he would abandon all his tasks, his overbearing thesis, just to spend another minute with her. Gojo cleared his throat, his nerves spiking up. “Um… the food is… takeout by the way,” He slightly stammered, “I was thinking we could grab some and then… eat it at my place.” Flustered, his eyes darted to the ground. Her lips parted in surprise, pupils dilating in a flash. She continued to open her mouth, as if she was going to say something, but no words came out. “Okay, so… I… I kind of lied before… I actually um, live… in the campus dorms,” Gojo confessed, “When I drove you home the fist time, you… asked where I live, and… If I said the dorms… you wouldn’t have let me… drive you back.” Her mouth dropped even lower, shock washing over her. No wonder Geto was confused as to why Gojo was driving her back to her apartment. It wasn’t far at all from campus, but the man could’ve walked back to his dorm instead. It also surprised her that he lived in the campus dorms. She expected a nice penthouse or some of the sorts, considering how loaded his family was.

“Why did you…” She trailed off, still in disbelief that he made that much effort to drive her back. Her face grew redder. Gojo waved his hands in defense, “No, no… I… I just didn’t want you to walk back… the weather forecast that day… was not good.” It was true, there was a snowstorm that night. She remembered because she cuddled with Geto all night, falling asleep in each other’s arms through the insane temperatures. There was an ache that passed by, remembering that she woke up alone in her bed. “So yes… sorry I lied,” Gojo added, holding in his breath as he waited for her response. After a few seconds of silence, she broke out into laughter. “It’s fine, you didn’t mean harm, I’m just… I can’t believe you lied about it just so you can drive me home,” She continued to laugh. Embarrassment crept in his cheeks, rattled by the situation. “So, we’re getting takeout and then… going back to your dorm?” Gojo gulped before nodding. Suddenly, the idea seemed terrifying. He quickly clarified, “If… you’re not comfortable, that’s okay of course… I was just… giving ideas… it’s a co-ed dorm by the way… so it’s not packed with… dudes.” She giggled at his fluster, finding him to be irresistibly cute. “I’m okay with that, it’s not a problem as long as you’re okay with it of course.” Gojo’s eyes widened, not believing what he was hearing. She agreed to go. He nodded at her response, “Of course.”

---

After grabbing food from a local convenience store near campus, Gojo drove them to his dorm. When they arrived, she observed the room, amazed by its minimal size. As they walked in, she was immediately greeted with his study desk to the left, a large dresser on the other corner adjacent to it, and his bed on the far right corner. There was one large window that provided some light into the room. She took off her calf boots as Gojo set his things down on his desk. Her eyes remained focused on taking in her environment. The top part of his desk was littered with Digimon figurines and old mangas. Her eyes drifted to the walls, covered in movie and band posters, along with galaxy themed posters with puns in them. She smiled to herself at the sight. There was a carpet in the middle and one bean bag. Despite the simplicity, she could still tell what Gojo’s background was from the traces of expensive things splashed around his room. His furniture set was of excellent quality, hard teak wood in the color black. There was a coat hanger next to his dresser, where branded, high-quality bags, coats, and jackets hung. His bean bag was made of top-grain leather, his carpet mohair. She scoffed quietly in amusement.

Gojo laid down on the carpet, patting a spot in front of him for her to join. She sat down, feeling the lustrous texture of the carpet in between her fingers. Gojo opened up their food, steam coming out of the boxes as soon as he lifted the plastic covers. He nervously gulped. The only other woman who had entered his apartment was his ex-girlfriend from his first semester, Shoko, and Yuki. He had around three hookups throughout university — not counting his ex-girlfriend — but he never brought them back to his room. This was someone he had secretly admired from a distance for a long time, now sitting in his dorm room. One could burn from how boiling his ears felt. “Gojo? Can I ask you something?” She suddenly spoke up once she finished observing his room. Gojo nodded, eyes wide with curiosity. “Why a dorm room? Sorry it’s just… I think you know that people know… just how filthy rich you are, like… it’s not news to us, so yea… you living in the dorms kind of surprised me, not gonna lie.”

Gojo smiled at her question, nodding in response. “That’s okay, it’s not the first time I heard it as well,” He replied as he grabbed the bowl of rice in his hands, “It was free accommodation, thanks to the scholarship, my parents actually… wanted me to buy an apartment near here, but… I didn’t want that, I never got something… simple in my life, everything was always luxurious.” She listened in as she took her own bowl, preparing the chopsticks but still keeping her eyes on him. “Whether it be material things or experiences, it was never… something ordinary… and I… I don’t know if it’s weird to say, but I craved it… simplicity, and so I declined their offer and picked the dorms,” He continued, toying with his rice as he spoke, “And yea, it’s been great so far, and it’s one of the only things I get… an experience of my own… and it was university… I was tired of them dictating every little part of my life… living here, the choice I made to live here… felt freeing.” She nodded, appreciating the fact that he was comfortable enough with her to share that. She seemed to have been living the opposite of what he had lived, but she craved the same thing. To live ordinarily.

“I relate too, might not be in the same way, I’ve… never experienced luxury the way that you do, but yea… I’ve always wanted to live a simple life as well,” She uttered as she took a chopstick full of rice. Her life was far from luxurious. Her mother worked a 9 to 5, going over to 10 often to make ends meet. Her father her mother for another woman, fleeing to Cyprus with all of the money their family had saved up. The event traumatized her mother deeply, worsening her already rough relationship with her mother. Beatings, verbal abuses, and threats were nothing new to her. Her mother was especially hard on her when it came to grades, expecting her daughter to always be at the top of her classes. One bad score was a literal punch to her gut. It was a common occurrence to have their fridge empty, leaving them starving for a day or two. Her mother didn’t need a poor family with an only daughter that can’t accomplish anything in life. So she forced her to greatness, punished her until she reached it.

“Ah, sorry, I sound ungrateful-” Gojo spoke, but she interjected, “No, no, no need to apologize… we lived different lives yes, but in the end… we kind of want the same things, no? I’m sure a lot of people relate to that sentiment.” Gojo nodded in agreement, swallowing a nervous gulp. He was slightly relieved that he could say that without much judgement. It felt really nice to talk to her, even about personal things. Gojo swallowed his food, then started to speak, “I don’t know fully what you went through, but if you ever wanna ta-” The sound of a phone ringing echoed throughout the room. She eyed her bag, clicking her tongue. A bad feeling washing over her. “Sorry Gojo, let me just get this quickly,” Putting down her meal, she grabbed the phone from inside of her bag whilst Gojo waved his hand down in reassurement. Eyeing the name across the screen, she groaned quietly. She contemplated whether she should pick it up or not. If she doesn’t, she fears that he might show up in her apartment, and she’d like to avoid him at all cost for a while. Gojo took in her movements and expressions, seemingly able to decipher who was calling her. “What?” She said curtly, the tone cutting through like a knife. “Where are you right now?” Geto spoke from the other line, sounding nonchalant. Her eyes slammed shut, trying to not let all of her anger spill out into the room. Sighing, she spoke into the other line with a harsh tone, “None of your fucking business, Geto.” This made Geto click his tongue. She was mad alright. “It’s Geto for now huh, baby? Okay, I understand,” His velvety voice only made her jaw clench tighter, “Are you… still with Gojo? I thought that it’ll be over by 14:00.” She scoffed. He was keeping track. 

In a flash, her mind thought of an idea; one that’ll definitely get her in trouble. She wasn’t sure what it was, maybe it was the adrenaline rush, but at that moment, she didn’t seem to care what would happen next. As long as he left her alone. “I’m in his dorm right now, we decided to continue studying.” Gojo choked on his food, quickly grabbing his water bottle to clear his throat. Geto remained quiet for a few seconds as he took in her words and Gojo’s voice in the distance. Geto let out a bitter chuckle, “Is that so? I see… he’s charmed his way, huh?” Her nose scrunched. Her gaze darted to Gojo, who was as red as a tomato. She drifted her stare back to the carpet, hiding her own blush. “Whatever that fucking means Geto, I don’t know what you’re trying to imply,” She spat out with seething anger, “Why don’t you call your other girls, hm? Maybe they can entertain you.” Gojo’s eyes felt like it was going to pop out of his head. He wondered what storm had been brewing in their relationship. He didn’t know the extent of it. He could guess, but apparently, it goes deeper than what he thought; more complicated than his assumption. He held in the fury brewing within him. It got quiet on the other line, making her smirk bitterly. “I thought so… goodbye, Geto.” She hung up the phone and tossed it back to her bag. She remained quiet, continuing to eat her food. Gojo awkwardly shifted on the ground, unsure of what to say in that situation. He wanted to reach out to her. He couldn’t help but feel like he wanted to envelop her in his arms.

All of a sudden, the pain washed over her like a huge tidal wave. Long gone was the adrenaline rush. Her eyes felt heavy with water, glassy in its appearance. She let out a bitter chuckle, “I’m… such a fucking idiot.” Gojo eyed her with confusion, eyes squinted at her. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “What? Why would you think that? You did great, standing up to him like that,” Gojo placed his food down, scooting closer to her. He reached out his hands to place them on her shoulder, hesitation taking over him for a second. His gaze drifted to her watery eyes, threatening to flood her cheeks. That was when he quickly laid his hands, cupping her cheeks. He held his breath, unsure whether it was a good idea. Her shoulders jumped at his sudden closeness, before quickly settling in his touch. It felt nice, comforting. “No, it’s not that… I just can’t believe… that it took me so long to… confront him… it’s been months of this and I just… stayed silent, I kept letting him come back,” She spoke with a tremble.She couldn’t believe it had been affecting her to this extent, to the point where she had been neglecting her studies. She may have been forced into a gruelling discipline by her mother, but she had fallen in love with what she was studying. It was during middle school when Megumi gave her a pop-science book about the milky way. In an instant, that book became something dear to her.

She finally broke down in tears. Gojo wiped it away before it reached her jaw, dragging his thumbs across her cheeks gently. She felt like she was going to melt in his touch. She lowered her head, but Gojo caught her with his hold. “Look, don’t blame yourself too much… he’s the one who decided to treat you like that when you have given him your best,” Gojo’s never really been the comforter, almost always the cheerleader of the group. Of course it was different with Geto and Shoko, but that didn’t happen so often either. This was not new, but it wasn’t exactly a common occurrence either. He didn’t know how the words came flowing out without him thinking. “It’s not easy, you know that yourself… don’t be so hard on yourself,” Gojo continued, his touch never leaving her face, his eyes staring down on hers, “You did your best with what you could, and you… should never talk yourself down on that.” She looked into his icy-blue eyes, never realizing how calming it felt to gaze into them. She felt like she was slowly getting lost in them; a vast ocean staring back at her. “Gojo… I…” She had so much to say, but didn’t know how to say them. Words were stuck in her throat. “Gojo…” She spoke quietly, her voice shaky. A delicate smile bloomed on his face as her feelings washed over him, “Satoru… please, call me Satoru.”

Notes:

for those who actually study astrophysics... my apologies. i have no idea what i'm talking about, this is like... very minimal research. hope you guys don't cringe as u read through it.

lmaooo gojo do be talking about wanting to live minimally but he's still a sucker for high-end stuff like clothes and shit. but i kind of like the ending of this chapter, it felt sooo mushy fluff for me. the ending is what made this one of my favorite chapters.

btw, i am going to be trashing on geto A LOT in this fic, so geto lovers... my apologies (i actually love this pretty man). as always, thank you for reading!

Chapter 5: a rush of blood

Friday, January 27, 2023

Classes had finished, but Gojo decided to stick around the canteen to continue reading up Lidsey and Maharana’s Quantum Cosmology: The Supersymmetric Perspective. It was a nice quiet that settled in the air, not many students filling up the tables. The atmosphere of the canteen had provided him the right conditions to focus. His schedule had been extremely packed, not being able to enjoy his leisure time. His professors — even the university itself — expected a lot from him. A prodigy and now an exceptional undergraduate that big companies and institutions already sought for. Though he was loving the turnout, the stress was also getting to him. After taking the time to read, he planned to go to his favorite bookstore to buy the new volume of his favorite manga. Shoko and Geto had also invited him to hang at Geto’s apartment later that night. He decided that it would be a nice way to end the day. He had the day scheduled to just indulge in his down time.

“Excuse me, can I sit here? The other tables are dirty as hell,” A silky voice penetrated his ears. He turned his head to the source of the sound, eyes landing on the girl standing up in front of the table next to his. It wasn’t often that he’d see a student of the Faculty of Sciences and Mathematics dressing up the way that she did. She was clad in thick platform boots, a short red plaid skirt, a cardigan with only three buttons in the middle that held the top together, and a long brown suede coat. His eyes shifted to her face, taking in her features. It was as if someone had taken all the air out of his lungs; wind being knocked out with an invisible punch to his chest. He couldn’t describe it. Maybe the linguists haven’t found the word for it yet. He gulped, swallowing the lump in his throat. There was something that was pulling him, and somehow, he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of her. The person sitting at the table that she had approached blushed profusely, stammering with her words. The flustered girl could only nod, motioning for her to sit down. “Thank you, you’re such a blessing… I can’t believe these students can be really messy,” She extended her gratitude as she sat down. The poor girl seated across from her could only nod more, huffing out a chuckle.

Gojo nervously looked down on his book. The words written down on the papers were no longer registering in his mind. It surprised him that he had never seen her before around campus, especially with how distinctive she was in the sea of button-ups and t-shirts. Maybe she was a freshman or in her second year. His teeth bit down his bottom lip, itching to steal more glances. She could hear her soft laugh and lush voice from a few feet away, piercing into his brain. He gladly let it distract him from his plans to finish a new chapter of the book. Unable to fight himself, his eyes darted from her and back to his book whenever he felt like his stare was lingering too long. He caught a glimpse of her smile, curving sweetly on the corners. That honeyed grin was ingrained in his mind. He could feel his brain starting to frame the picture, placing it somewhere deep in his memories. His heart was thumping loudly in his ears, the vein in his hand felt like it was popping out of his skin. Drying up, he grabbed his water bottle to satiate his parched throat. The fuck is happening to me?

---

“I don’t know guys, it was… she was like… I don’t know, I’m not sure what happened to me,” Gojo recollected her face in his mind, bewildered by his own reaction, “She was… insanely beautiful…” He trailed off, brows drawing in together. Geto and Shoko stared at him with confusion painted in their faces, eyebrows knitted. They finally broke out into chuckles. “I’ve never seen you like this Satoru,” Geto replied in between his laughter, “Jeez, It’s like you saw a mythical creature or some shit.” Gojo’s eyes widened, pointing a finger at his friend. “Exactly! She felt… mythical… it felt so… unreal,” Gojo added with intensity in his tone. Shoko’s laugh loudened, a rare sight of his friend being enamored with someone. His nose is usually deep in his book or his Nintendo Switch. It wasn’t long before he broke up with his ex-girlfriend and Gojo never had a reaction quite close to his when he was with her, nor the other girls he had hooked up with. “Oh my God… you’re whipped as hell… I gotta see this girl,” Shoko said as her chuckles died down, “Did you get her name?”

Gojo froze in place, mouth agape at the question. His eyes twitched, unsure how to reply to Shoko. Geto immediately realized what had happened, palming his forehead in disbelief. “Don’t tell me you don’t know,” The raven-haired man sighed, eyeing his friend with a sharp, incredulous look. Gojo scoffed, “Well? What was I supposed to do? She wasn’t sitting on my table, it’ll be weird, no?” Gojo was always used to people approaching him, whether he was interested or not. He knew it was either because of his brains or his looks. He never really had to approach people to get to know them. It was a new situation for him. Geto groaned quietly, rolling his eyes at his friend. Shoko giggled, placing a cigarette in between her lips. She lit the end of the paper, inhaling the smoke into her lungs. As she blew out the smoke, she spoke with teasing in her tone, “Maybe you could learn a thing or two from our casanova over here.” Her free hand landed on Geto’s shoulder, earning a scoff from the man. “Shut the fuck up,” Geto shifted his gaze upwards in annoyance, though a faint smirk slowly surfaced on his lips. Gojo pouted, side-eyeing Geto, “I don’t know… I feel like Geto wouldn’t be so nonchalant if he ever saw her.”

Geto raised his eyebrow, intrigued with Gojo’s comment. If she was able to make Gojo stutter and blush like a teenager, then maybe the white-haired man wasn’t exaggerating. They had the same type after all. He clicked his tongue, taking a puff of his cigarette. Geto teased with a sly grin, “Don’t be so hard on him Ko, it’s not often that someone doesn’t immediately fall head over heels for him, of course he doesn’t know what to do.” Gojo groaned at Geto’s words, making his friends laugh at his frustration. “Okay, ugh, you guys are being shitheads,” Gojo frowned in annoyance. After his friends’ laughter had died down, he decided to change the topic, “Anyways… how, how… was band practice?” Geto’s smirk grew at his friend’s fluster, but deciding to let the moment pass. There was no need to tease his friend further. “It was good, Shoko wrote a few new songs, we’re working it out at the studio earlier,” He replied as he tapped his cigarette in the ashtray. Shoko lightly chuckled before nodding, “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do Satoru, but I’ll let it pass… but yea, it was just one song that we were working on in the studio, probably need a bunch of studio visits to finish the other two songs.” Gojo fidgeted with the hem of his oversized hoodie as he looked at Shoko proudly. “That’s great Ko! What are the songs about?” Gojo questioned excitedly, always stoked at the updates of the band. He always attended their performances, unless a deadline was kicking him in the shins. “Um… one is about familial trauma,” She laughed at her own words before continuing, “The other two are about breakups.”

Gojo eyed her sympathetically, understanding how devastated she had been ever since she broke up with her ex-girlfriend. The two of them ended their relationship with their partners around the same time. Geto consoled them through it, but it was mostly Gojo and him lending a shoulder to Shoko. Gojo was upset at his own breakup, but moved on quite quickly. There were too many contradictions between them, and Gojo ended up being more dejected over his ex’s lack of support for his studies instead of the ending of the relationship itself. It frustrated him whenever she asked him to abandon everything to come to her, despite him being faced with a plethora of research projects and plenitude of other responsibilities that came with his studies. He never really felt understood by her, finding it difficult most of the time to truly connect with her, so he broke it off the last time she berated him for choosing his academic responsibilities over her. Shoko on the other hand, was close to depression. She was cheated on, giving her a hard time to move past the relationship. They were insanely close, to the point that Geto and Gojo was sure they would spend the rest of their lives together. The breakup struck her deeply, immobilizing her in bed for the first few days. “I’m sorry man,” Gojo’s pout changed into something that felt more lighthearted, poking his finger on Shoko’s cheek, “Her fucking loss.” Shoko rolled her eyes, but secretly appreciated the gesture. “It’s fine, it is what it is,” She said as she hovered the cigarette near her lips, “The song’s a banger though.” The three of them let out a laugh.

Geto checked his phone after putting out his cigarette, the smoke slowly withering away in the air. He kept the phone close to his chest, eyes darting between his friends before returning to the screen. He scrolled through his messages, smiling when his eyes landed on the one he had been waiting for. Typing a quick reply, he set the phone down. “Ugh, is it the girl from Sculpture who was flirting with you yesterday?” Shoko peered at the foxlike expression drawn across his face, disgust painted on hers. Geto’s womanizing ways had always been an annoyance to their friend group, but never something that meddled in between their friendship, so far that they know of. Geto’s shoulders tensed, not realizing Shoko had been paying attention. He froze in place for a brief second before relaxing. Geto rolled his eyes, whilst Gojo sighed in disbelief. “You should’ve seen them Satoru, bet you would gag as well,” Shoko added with a scoff, “She looked so puppy-eyed over him, being all touchy and everything, I feel bad for her… that it’s Geto that she fell for.” Geto groaned as he sipped his bottle of beer, slouching to the sofa behind him. He turned to Shoko, giving her a sweet, murderous grin, “First of all, it’s not her, but thank you for that my sweet, sweet Shoko.” “You’re welcome,” Shoko bit back quickly, making Gojo laugh incredulously. “Maybe once in a while, we need to cockblock him,” Gojo jokingly suggested with a dramatic shrug. Shoko giggled as Geto’s smile twitched, “We definitely should.”

---

Shoko was splayed out on the carpet, passed out from the mix of beer and whiskey. Her eyelids lightly fluttered for a second, seemingly deep in her dreams. Gojo eyed her with endearment before carrying her to Geto’s bedroom. The raven-haired man was cleaning up the bottles and throwing them in a large trash bag. “Guess the three of us are gonna be huddled up in my bed, huh?” Geto shouted out from the living room, chuckling softly after. Gojo huffed out a smile as he laid Shoko in bed. She immediately curled up, her legs tucked under her arms. Gojo patted her head gently before leaving the bedroom, closing the door behind him. “I’m gonna finish up my drink first, still have a bottle left,” Gojo uttered, rubbing his eyes with one of his hands. Geto nodded as he tied the trash bag, “No problem, gonna finish mine as well before heading to bed.” Gojo walked over to Geto’s coffee table standing against the wall, grabbing his half-empty bottle. Taking a sip of it, his index finger tapped on the green bottle; a dull tink of the glass filling the silent air.

“Thought you were gonna leave us for your… date,” Gojo teased Geto, earning a playful scoff from the man. “Nah, the three of us haven’t hung out in a while, you and Shoko have been busy as hell,” Geto stated with a gentle smile, throwing the plastic in his trash can, “It’s been like… a while since I’ve had band practice with Shoko attending.” There were times where Geto ditched them before or during their hangouts, but most of the time, the man preferred to spend the time with his best friends. Gojo flashed the man a lopsided grin, chuckling under his breath. “Sorry, I know it’s only the beginning of the new semester, but my schedule’s fucked already, I’ll try to make more time.” Geto waved a hand to dismiss him, pocketing it in his black sweatpants after. “No need to be sorry genius, I know you have a lot on your plate, go prioritize that,” He stated to Gojo, his tone laced with warmth. Gojo gave him a small nod before taking another sip of his drink.

Geto grabbed his bottle standing on the carpet, gulping down a few chugs. “How are you by the way?” Geto asked out of the blue, slightly surprising his white-haired friend, “You know, with your schedule and all.” Gojo hummed in response, trying to reflect on the simple question. He shrugged, “I’m fine honestly, a little stressed over not having enough me time? Yea, but aside from that, I’m… fine mostly.” Geto raised an eyebrow at his answer, dragging out his hum. “Mostly?” He asked with a faint raise of his brows. Gojo nodded slowly, squinting his eyes at the man, “Uhuh… what do you mean?” Geto sat down on his couch, resting his leg on top of his thigh. Gojo followed his friend’s movement, sitting down next to Geto. “Well, you did say mostly… what’s the rest?” Geto questioned carefully, eyeing his friend with a knowing look.

Geto may seem nonchalant to others, especially strangers, but he is the most expressive out of the three. It was hard for Geto to hide his feelings. He may not speak them or he would let out a few passive-aggressive, sarcastic comments to leave his lips instead, but his face will voice them all. Gojo pondered his question, looking down at his bottle. He didn’t realize the label was slowly chipping off from his fidgeting. “I don’t… know, actually…” He trailed off. There was something tugging at the back of his mind, but he kept pushing it further away from confrontation. For the longest time, he refused to acknowledge it; how lonely it felt to have what he possesses. The more months pass, the more he realizes how disconnected he felt with many people. Maybe from the get go, he had already been stamped as different. To have a brain like him, it intimidated many. It was as though the border was already set. The more time passed, the more he progressed, the more knowledge he possessed, the more detached he felt from his peers. He was glad to have Shoko and Geto. They were friends from high school, spending most of their days together. His friendship with them made him realize how even more lonely he felt before meeting them. It was always something gnawing deep within him, like an itch he couldn’t scratch because he couldn’t find the bite mark. They never made him feel like he was just an accomplishment to be paraded around.

Gojo let out a deep sigh, clicking his tongue before sipping his drink. He couldn’t talk about this to Geto. If he were in his friend’s shoes, what was he supposed to respond to this rumination with? Geto would feel like he hadn’t done enough, despite the problem not being about him or Shoko. “But again, it’s fine really… it doesn’t really bother me to that extent or anything,” Gojo shrugged, feigning a lack of care to assure Geto that he was fine. Geto hummed as his gaze pierced through Gojo. Slowly, he looked away, a smirk forming in his lips. “You don’t have to tell me now Satoru, just wanna let you know… we’re here if you want to talk about it,” Geto lightly swatted his hand against Gojo’s arm, making them both chuckle softly. Gojo really couldn’t imagine a life without them. He nodded with a lazy smile, silently appreciating the words. “How about you? How are you, Suguru?” Gojo quietly asked, nursing the bottle in between his legs. Geto pursed his lips, gaze shifted upwards in thought, “I’m good, I’m good, just thinking of the arrangements for the songs, I want it to be a bit more mellow than our usual stuff, still metal infused of course, but yea.” Gojo nodded, wondering how it would sound once it was done. “Got anything going in your personal life? Haven’t seen you going on dates in a while, well… I haven’t seen you guys in a while anyways,” Gojo asked with a toothy smile.

Geto’s shoulders froze, his throat drying up at the question. His mouth was slightly parted, trying to ignore the uneasiness slowly building up in his chest. Clearing his throat, he tried to laugh it off. “Ah no, yea, just the usual,” Geto stated with a strain in his voice. Gojo’s nose scrunched, knowing that it meant Geto was still breaking hearts left and right. “I never asked you this really, but… why do you… avoid commitments so much?” Gojo carefully stated his words. It was something Geto never really talked about. Gojo knew the answer, at least he could guess. It had been quite obvious, knowing Geto’s tumultuous relationship with his father. The man wasn’t exactly the role model for a good, loving husband. A marriage tainted with affairs. It affected Geto a lot, as little as he verbalized it. Though conversations that touched on that subject had revealed quite a few sentiments from Geto. Shoko and Gojo could gather some things from it without the man explicitly verbalizing it. Geto attempted to gulp down the lump forming in his throat, but it couldn’t seem to disappear. He finished off the rest of his drink in a chug, setting the bottle down next to his foot. He contemplated bearing all of his feelings to Gojo, but it was Gojo. They spent their adolescence together, up until now. Geto had trusted Gojo with many things. Some things he felt like he couldn’t keep from his two friends, but there are some things that need to remain unopened. Before he could think longer on it, the words came flowing out of him. “I don’t know… relationships, committed ones… are such a hassle,” Geto finally spoke, eyes looking down to the wooden floors beneath him, “It’s… scary, putting your whole trust in one person… I don’t know if I can’t do that, and… being committed and trusting them… means that you’re opening yourself to a lot of pain too… so I’d… rather not.” Maybe part of it was the guilt that pushed him to do so. If he couldn’t let Gojo know about the guilt that he felt from time to time, then he’d confide in Gojo about another thing. It made sense in Geto’s mind.

Gojo hummed knowingly, finishing off the last few sips of his drink before placing it on the floor. Pocketing his hands in his jeans, Gojo paused in front of Geto. He nudged his head to the side, motioning to Geto that he was going in. Geto held out his hand to the bedroom door in response before Gojo went in. Taking sips of his drink, Geto hummed a melody of the new song. Though he was happy that Shoko came in with new songs for the band, there was a part of him that felt disappointed. The feeling was directed at himself for having writer’s block for the past two months. Nothing seemed to be flowing in his head, no words were stringing together perfectly to make a line. He rested his hand in his palms, his elbow propped on top of his thigh. Getting lost in his head, the vibration of his phone in his pocket broke him out of the trance. He pulled it out and saw the name flashed on the screen. Geto eyed the bedroom door anxiously before typing a reply. After locking his phone, he headed towards the bedroom. Opening the door, he was greeted with the sight of Gojo and Shoko in his bed, a space left for him on the right side. Geto smiled at the scene, watching their chest slowly rising and falling, Gojo’s arm wrapped around Shoko’s back. He closed the door behind him and made his way to the bed, carefully sitting on the mattress before laying down. Geto reached out a hand to caress the top of Shoko’s long brown hair, whilst the other held her waist. Gradually, the sleep took over him, his eyes drifting into slumber in the warmth of his best friends’ bodies.

Notes:

hellooo, it's the first flashback chapter that we have, there will be a few of them. aaa i love this chapter sm! i've always wanted to write about the trio's relationship. *spoilers* that scene where shoko said, "i was there too" kinda killed me. i wanted to draw on their relationship as being, well, a trio. i will dive deeper into this dynamic later and how the friendship falling off ended up affecting it greatly. but basically, i wanted to give more glimpses on how each of their presence greatly affected the trio's dynamic.

i hope u guys liked this chapter! and so now we know how long gojo had been whipped lmaooo

Chapter 6: what changed?

Notes:

i'm feeling quite nice today. work is still akdhaksj but i'm feeling more organized with my shit, and i was able to finish up this chapter!

Saturday, March 9, 2024

“I can’t believe you made me go here,” Megumi stated with his brows scrunched together, earning a laugh from her. “I can’t believe I successfully convinced you to come, I was so sure you’d prefer the other option I gave you.” Megumi huffed out a breath, rubbing his temples with his thumb. “Yea, a drink at your place sounds better instead,” He uttered with frustration in his tone. She giggled at his reactions, slightly feeling bad. She gave him no pressure, but he decided to go. Little did she know, Megumi mostly went because he wanted to cheer her up. They haven’t seen each other in a while and he had missed her dearly. Knowing what she was going through, despite her not wanting to discuss it, he wanted to do anything that at least could help distract her. The wide, bright grin on her face when he agreed was enough to make Megumi faintly smile in return.

The bass pumped through the speakers, as though feeding their veins with the vibrations. Gritty guitar riffs filled the air, accompanied by an angelic voice. Though contrasting each other, it helped bring balance to the sound. She could finally watch ‘The Fallouts’ again, one of her favorite local metal bands. Their fans cheered through the crowd, jumping and thrashing around energetically. She had always looked forward to the showcases that are held once a month, anticipating new music. She and Megumi had made plans to hangout, but since he was only available on Saturday, she decided to see if he could come to the show. Megumi attended the university in a different city, only being able to see each other from time to time. They used to spend almost everyday with each other since middle school, making the distance weigh heavy on the both of them now. “You know what… they’re actually pretty good,” Megumi admitted, looking as though he’s in pain as he spoke. She giggled under her breath, moving closer to shout to his ears as the singer started screaming into the mic, “As a fellow metalhead, I knew you would like them! So if the scene sucks, the music doesn’t, right?” Megumi reluctantly nodded, silently appreciating the music blasting from the speakers.

Megumi coming with her was also a blessing. She didn’t want to run into Geto alone. Maybe Megumi could help ground her, in the case of her weakening in his stare. She never told Megumi about it, but the man could gather from a few conversations they had that something, or in fact someone, was clouding her mind. The breakup with Choso was bad enough, and he didn’t want to see her suffer more. The music faded in the background, ending the song. The singer bantered with the crowd as her bandmates took a quick break before they played another. “Wanna grab some drinks first? It’s on me,” She flashed him a smile as she offered, earning a nod from Megumi. They walked to the bar, greeted by an enthusiastic Ryusei. “Hi gorgeous, back here for the show?” He threw a small towel over his shoulder, smirking in an attempt to flirt. Megumi winced at the man’s advances, holding in whatever curses were threatening to spill from his lips. She tightened her lips, knowing what must be going through Megumi’s mind. “Um, yea! It’s been great so far,” She tried to make niceties, not wanting their drinks to be laced with poison. “So, what can I get you and your… oh, um… boyfriend?” Ryusei shifted his gaze to Megumi, an unfamiliar sight standing before him. Megumi stared at him with daggers from his eyes, making the bartender gulp nervously. He did not realize that Megumi was there at first glance. “A rum and coke for me and whiskey on the rocks for my boyfriend,” She placed the order with a smile, wrapping her arm around Megumi’s. Her friend slightly jolted his body at the sudden gesture, quickly relaxing into the touch. “Okay, I’ll um… get your orders! Give me a few seconds, alright?” Ryusei spoke as swiftly as he left to grab their glasses.

She lightly chuckled at the interaction as Megumi groaned quietly. “Does that guy always bother you? Because it seems like it,” Megumi questioned, annoyance still lingering in his tone. She nodded, her head brushing against his arm. “Yes, and I’m too scared he’ll put something in my drink to say anything about it,” She stated with a giggle. Megumi huffed out a breath, patting her head gently. It started to happen around high school, people flocking to her or swooning over her from a distance. A combination of her bright mind and her beauty was what drew people in. “So, how have you been?” Megumi questioned with a calmer tone, the annoyance subsiding. “I’m… I don’t know, honestly… I’m not good,” She replied with a heavy exhale. She wondered if she should tell Megumi the whole story about Geto. She bit her lip, getting lost in her thoughts. Megumi observed as she zoned out, eyeing her with worry. “Hey, you can talk to me about it,” Her friend assured her with a gentle voice. Despite the plain expression, she could see the softness glistening in his eyes through the stoicism. “Wanna sit down at one of the tables after we get our drinks?” He offered, looking over to the direction of the tables. She nodded in return. Maybe it was time her best friend knew.

---

Megumi clicked his tongue, anger brewing in his chest. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He couldn’t believe what his best friend had been and had to go through. Gulping down a few sips of his drink, he set the glass down, a loud clink sounded out as the glass hit the flimsy plastic table. Worry overtook her expression, silently waiting for Megumi’s response. She gulped down, her nerves spiking. “You’re telling me your friend Geto, the one who had been so sweet to you, was actually doing all of this insane shit?” Megumi finally spat out, though still tempering his fury, “And he’s here tonight because his band is performing?” She nodded her head hesitantly, wanting to look away from Megumi couldn’t seem to. “I actually haven’t talked to him since I… berated him on the phone when I was at Satoru’s… so I doubt he’ll actually approach us or anything,” She uttered with her eyes darting all over the place, hands fidgeting with the rings around her fingers. Megumi raised one of his brows, unnoticed by her. Initially, she had referred to the white-haired tutor with his family name. That was the first time he heard the change. He brushed it aside, not wanting to poke that certain detail; yet. Returning his mind back to the more pressing situation, Megumi clicked his tongue for what felt like the millionth time during the conversation. “If he does any stupid shit tonight, I will beat the shit out of him,” Megumi firmly stated, fist clenching atop of his thigh. She tightened her lips into a straight line. It wasn’t a hyperbole, Megumi will actually try to beat the living hell out of Geto. He often got into fights in high school, coming out unscathed and winning. His victims were bullies and men that would mistreat the girls in schools. Though she wouldn’t be sure who would win. She had also seen Geto getting into a fight with someone; a creep who had touched her inappropriately. The man ended up on the floor with a bloody nose, too scared of Geto to take the damage up to a higher court. 

“He won’t, I… doubt it,” She replied, her tone sounding as though she didn’t believe the words that came out of her own mouth. Megumi leaned in closer to the table, a silent invite for her to meet his gaze. “Why didn’t you tell me about all of this?” He questioned, his tone sounding more delicate than it was a few seconds ago, though still firm with his words. She gulped, “Um, I… I don’t know, I just… didn’t want to burden you… you’re already so busy and I don’t want to add on… to that, and of course like… I’m slightly embarrassed because… the things he put me through… it feels so humiliating for me… I mean for God’s sakes he fucked someone whilst we were under the same roof, at the frat house, and I just…” She trailed off, the memories getting to her. Watching Geto and that woman slip off into a room, not realizing she was there to witness it. Crying at the rooftop after, consoled by Nanami despite no words being exchanged between the two of them. A lump in her throat formed, shaking off her head to rid off the picture in her mind. Megumi eyed her with concern and sadness, “I already told you I will always find the time to spend time with you, even through the phone, you are not disturbing me nor what I have going on in uni, I want to hear about you, I want to listen to you, and there’s… nothing to feel embarrassed about… because it’s not your fault.” His words were reassuring her, making a passing ache of guilt pass through her chest. She nodded with her head lowered, sighing with exasperation.

“I’m sorry, again, for not telling you sooner,” She spoke as she continued to look down on her hands. Megumi’s frown only grew at her response, before relaxing his features slightly. “It’s okay, there’s no need to apologize… sorry I got… a bit frustrated as well,” He huffed out a breath before he continued, “It’s just… hearing what you went through… I hated that, that happened to you, and that you had to go through that alone… I just wanted to tell you that… you don’t have to, you need to realize that.” She looked up to him, eyes slightly glassy at his words. He was right, and it frustrated her. Why did she have to keep it to herself? She had friends she could lean on and yet, she chose not to. They could’ve helped her, be there for her, provide her the strength she needed when she couldn’t muster up any, but she didn’t let them. “Can I ask you something?” Megumi asked, softness peeking through his gaze. She nodded, signaling for him to continue. “What do you feel for him?” His question struck her a few seconds after he spoke it. There was an unfamiliar feeling that settled in her chest. Before she could dwell further on it, she felt a hand land on her shoulder. She turned her head swiftly, eyes widening at the man behind her.

“Geto… uh… hello,” She wasn’t sure what to do or what to say. They haven't spoken to each other in days, and there she was with Megumi. All the screaming, all the curses that she conjured up in her mind dissipated all of a sudden. Megumi’s face twitched at the sight, fists and jaw clenching tightly. “Um… Geto, this is Fushiguro Megumi, my best friend since middle school that I’ve talked about,” She motioned her hand to Megumi as her eyes darted to the both of them. Geto had a wide grin plastered on his face; sickly sweet but something else was brewing behind it. Meanwhile, Megumi looked like he was ready to flip the table. Geto extended a hand to Megumi, “Hi, I’m Geto Suguru, nice to finally meet the person she always talks about so adoringly.” Megumi’s jaw felt like it was going to fall off from how tightly clenched it was. Geto’s voice was velvety, the way he spoke was like water pouring from the skies, but that didn’t make Megumi deter even slightly. He held his hand out, shaking Geto’s. The long-haired man’s eye twitched as Megumi gripped his hand a little bit too hard, too tight. When they let go, Geto let out an awkward chuckle under his breath. “Strong grip there, buddy,” Geto continued to smile, refusing to let the confusion bubbling underneath falter his composed demeanor. His fingers flexed in a deliberate stretch, attempting to release the tension he felt under Megumi’s hold.

Geto bent down and stopped near her ear, his breath fanning against the shell. She held her breath, surprise and frustration seeping through her expression. “Can I talk to you for a bit? I promise it’s only for a bit,” He spoke gently, there was desperation in his eyes and in the way his lips lightly curved downwards. A faint crease settled between his brows, an expression that folded his face into a quiet ache. She eyed Megumi, somehow trying to communicate through her faint expressions to not get mad. Megumi knew her for a long time, and he knew her well. He gave her a quick nod, too subtle for Geto to notice but just enough for her to catch on. “Okay, I’m… gonna go talk to Geto for a bit, I’ll be back, I’m so sorry,” There was an ache in her voice when she uttered her apology, putting her hand on Megumi’s shoulder. He placed his hand on top of it, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. She smiled softly, trying to reassure him that she’ll be okay. Following behind Geto, they headed towards the front entrance.

The both of them exited the double doors, greeted by the dark night sky and a spring breeze that passed through them. The cool air sent a chill down her spine, her body shuddering at the temperature. It had rained a few hours before, puddles decorating the poorly maintained cement road. Geto held out a pack in front of her, “Need a cigarette?” Saving up money sounded good, so she accepted the stick despite their preferred brands being different. She muttered a gratitude before waiting for his lighter. Wanting to take it from his hands once he was done, Geto instead flicked the lighter once more and held it near her face. She clicked her tongue quietly before letting the flames burn the end of her cigarette. Blowing the smoke upwards, she tilted her head back to face him. She was met with Geto’s gaze boring into hers. She thought she imagined it, but she saw a hint of guilt flashing in his eyes. She didn’t want to be the one starting the conversation, opting to stay silent rather than be the first to open up her mouth. Waiting for Geto, she shifted her gaze to the road. Cars were passing by at a slow speed, people crossing the streets and walking along the pavement. Long coats covered up their bodies, shielding them from the cold winds; remnants of the winter. Her eyes got lost in the crowd of people, spotting a few families on their night out. Mothers and fathers holding their children’s hands, wide grins plastered on their faces. She thought of her father, wondering how he was doing. Was he happy with his new family? Did he treat his wife better than he did to her mother? Did he ever have more children? Did he ever feel guilty for the damage he had caused?

“How… are you?” Geto questioned with a tremble in his smile. A small pout formed in her face, her eyebrows scrunching faintly. “I’m… alright I guess,” She stated as she tapped her cigarette, the ashes falling to the pavement, “What did you want to talk about?” Her curtness stabbed his chest like daggers, penetrating deep into his lungs. His breath hitched quietly. He was never good at maintaining his composure. “I… I wanted to… apologize to you… I’m sorry for the things I said on the last call,” Guilt overtook his whole face, his eyebrows pulling inwards and his frown surfacing, “I shouldn’t have said all those things to you, nor seem… possessive over you for studying with Gojo.” She raised one of her brows, wondering where this was going. Geto was a man of games, and she was tired of losing because she fell for his tricks. Taking a step closer, she blew out the smoke she had inhaled to the side. One of the best ways to be one step ahead was to surprise the trickster. “Yea, you shouldn’t have… that was shitty of you to imply that I had anything going on with him… when you know damn well who I’m in love with,” The words came out of her lips without a second thought. It surprised herself, but she tried not to let it show. Her throat was drying, in disbelief at what she had just admitted. Geto’s eyes widened, a horrified look painted across his face. He wondered if he heard it right, wondered if he was lucid. He stood there, mouth agape and hands frozen.

“You… I… what… did you say?” He needed to hear her say it again, or he needed to walk away. He wasn’t sure what he truly wanted. He knew that was how she felt, but he would never believe it until he heard it himself. She huffed out a breath. She was unbelievably exhausted, “That scares you, doesn’t it? How much I give to you? How big my feelings feel to you?” She took another step closer, looking straight into his eyes. All the courage she had repressed, she didn’t want to lay down her arms anymore, not one second. Her gaze darted to each of his eyes, trying to search for something, anything that she could grasp on. She was giving him a chance, one more chance to show her how he truly felt. She wanted to see if there was an ounce of reciprocity, she wanted to see if he would admit it. Her unyielding gaze made his shocked stare falter, growing weak at the sight. His head was eerily quiet, as though he couldn’t gather any thoughts. He needed to think but nothing was crossing his mind. “Was I… crazy to think that you actually loved me back? Just a little bit? With how you were treating me? With how much you tried, at least in the beginning?" Her frown grew, lips twitching as she spoke, “Tell me… please tell me, because… what the hell do you want from me Suguru? Did you just want me to warm your bed all this time? Is that it? All that effort to be my friend, just for some… stupid conquest? That once you fucked me, I was nothing else but that? Was that all I was to you? Whatever it is, just fucking tell me… I need you to say it, whatever it is!”

It felt like it was just the two of them on the pavement. No crowds passing, no loud honks, no shouting, no laughter. All he could see was her, demanding him to lay down his truth. Tears were threatening to spill from her eyes. He could see her glassy eyes, wanting to wipe the tears before it streamed down her cheeks. Though his body was frozen, his cigarette half-burnt with the ashes still stuck to the stick. He wanted to speak, he wanted to open up his heart and tell her what needed to be said. The words were stuck in his throat, attempting to crawl back into the deepest parts of his mind. She remained still, her burning gaze unfaltering. All she could find in his eyes was that he wasn’t there; checked out from the situation. She could stay there all night, but she knew he wouldn’t say anything close to the truth. All she could see was the urge to run away reflected in his eyes. That was when the months of going through denial finally awoke something in her. Something she had ignored and refused to admit to herself. Humming, she turned her head away, taking another puff of her neglected cigarette. She remained quiet as she blew the smoke to the ground. Drawing a long, deep breath, she exhaled with an exhausted sigh. “What did I expect from you? Of course you’re not gonna say anything,” She stated with a bitter chuckle, “But your silence is the answer, I don’t know why I kept begging you when your silence had always been the answer… you refuse to talk to me about what we are, continuing to treat me like I’m some… some cum dumpster… I don’t know why it took me so long to accept that… that’s just what I am to you.”

Geto’s eyebrows knitted together in shock, his eyes reflecting the frustration he felt. “You’re not… I don’t… see you like that, at all,” Was all that he could muster up. He had so much to say but that was all the words that could spill out. Something snapped in her at his words, fury boiling deep inside. “Fucking bullshit! You fucking liar! Stop, stop lying to me! You couldn’t even keep your last promise!” She was screaming. People walking by paused for a brief second to stare, confusion drawn across their faces. She jabbed a finger to his chest, “I am a cum dumpster to you and you’ve proven it way too many times… and I don’t want that anymore, I refuse to be treated like that anymore, I refuse to be treated like I’m fucking worthless.” Her eyes were wide with anger, her chest heaving, pent up with months of the pain the man had put her through. She scoffed, taking a step back once more, “You know what hurts the most? Is that… you were my friend… a dear friend… I thank you for all the moments that we shared, I still cherish them deeply… but I will not forgive you for hurting me the way that you did… me, the person who I thought was your friend.” She took one last puff before throwing her cigarette on the ground, putting it out with the soles of her boots. She spared him one last glance of disappointment before heading back in. Geto stood there, his unfinished cigarette in between his fingers. The flames had already died from the cold wind, the filter neglected by his lips. After the silence that had plagued his brain, his thoughts came flooding in abruptly. All the curses he could think of were thrown around in his brain, beating himself up over his cowardice. Why couldn’t I say anything?

For the second time, she had missed ‘The Fallouts’, though she thanked herself because she got to see half of their set. Still, Geto was the cause of her absence during the other half. He was always at the scene of the crime. She had abandoned her studies, she skipped out on hangouts. He was at the center of it. She couldn’t believe she had given up so much only to be treated like nothing but a body to be fucked. Her own friend had treated her as such. All the pain, the hurt, the unbearable ache came rushing in. Emotionally paralyzed, she couldn’t even cry. All the tears that had bunched up on her ducts felt like it disappeared into thin air. Her chest felt unbelievably heavy, yet she couldn’t let it out. She ran back to the table, panting as she could only stare at Megumi with eyes full of sorrow. There were no words coming out of her mouth, but Megumi stood up quickly and pulled her into an embrace. Megumi was holding her in his arms, gently embracing her with all his warmth. His hands rested on her back, rubbing soothing circles through the fabric of her shirt. She let out a heavy sigh, burying her head further in his chest. His scent helped ground her, calming down the anger and devastation that was pooling in her head. “I… did it… I told him off, everything… how I felt, how I think our relationship is… I told him I don’t want it anymore,” She quietly spoke, her breath warming up his chest. One of Megumi’s hands trailed up to her head, caressing it delicately with his fingers. “I’m proud of you,” He replied, whispering to her ears, “But I’m also so, sorry… I’m here, I’m not going anywhere… I’m sleeping over remember?” She nodded against his chest, relief taking over her as the thought of being alone tonight might make her go insane.

---

Satoru

09/03/24

23:47

‘how was the showww?’

‘did the fallouts play any new songs?”

‘wish i could come…’

‘man my thesis is fucking up my saturday’

She stared at the text, a small smile curving on her lips. She had invited Gojo to come, but she knew there was very little chance for it since he just got his revisions on Friday and had to turn in the revised version of Chapter 3 on Monday. Gojo worked fast, but the amount of revisions he got had shocked him to his core. This was an uncommon occurrence. There would usually only be a comment or two from Yaga, but this time, pages were decorated with a red pen. Chapter 3 was his weakest point after all. He decided to immediately go home and fix his mistakes and dedicate his Saturday to finish it with maximum results. He wanted to complete the revisions so that his Sunday will be undisturbed; the day he would see her again. Initially, they had only messaged each other to coordinate regarding the time of the tutoring sessions. This changed after last Sunday. They started to text almost everyday, bantering and talking about things outside of her studies. Though they had met up on Thursday, he couldn’t help but long to see her again. 

09/03/24

23:48

‘Ugh they were sooo good!!!’

‘Wish u could see them, they played two new songs today’

‘Sadly I only got to watch half of their set’

‘Megumi and I stayed until the second to last show, now we’re back at my apartment’

‘Gonna watch a movie, he’s sleeping over’

‘I missed him so much’

Satoru

09/03/24

23:48

‘aaaaa i hate my thesis:( thanks for making me feel left out’

‘why only half? did something happen to the band?’

‘that sounds nice, i hope u and megumi have fun! u told me it’s been a while since u guys met up’

09/03/24

23:49

‘AHAHA sorry, didn’t mean to intensify your fomo’

‘Ummm Geto happened… that’s also why we skipped his set HAHA’

‘Thank youuuu I’m so happy he’s here, I’ll introduce you to him if he’s staying longer tomorrow’

She and Gojo had bonded over their love for ‘The Fallouts’. At first, it surprised her that Gojo listened to the same genre as her, but it made so much sense. Geto was his friend. She sighed, setting the phone down next to her. Megumi sat down on the couch next to her, their arms brushing up against each other’s. He stirred the cup of hot chocolate in his hands, eyeing her as she pressed the buttons of the remote, scrolling through movie options. He had been paying attention to her movements, noticing how she had been glued to her phone as he fixed up a drink for himself. “Uni stuff?” He tried to probe, knowing well it wasn’t the case. There was a blush in her cheeks. She avoided his stare, eyes locked on to the TV screen. “Um… no, I was just… texting Satoru about tomorrow’s session,” She answered, sounding evidently flustered. Megumi hummed, still gazing at her intensely. They stayed silent for a few moments as she continued to look through movies for them to watch.

Suddenly, Megumi broke the tense quiet that had settled between them, “Getting out of a relationship like the one you had with Geto is not easy, you’re still processing a lot of things from it as well.” His voice was soothing, but she could feel the stern tone seeping in his voice. She cleared her throat, unsure of where he was going with his words. “Um… yea, I mean, there’s definitely still a lot to unpack… honestly I… don’t know if I can fully let go of him yet, even after what happened earlier,” She answered as she placed the remote in between her crossed legs, “What I feel for Geto… it’s almost as intense, as big as… what I felt for Choso… honestly, maybe even more… especially the fact that he was my friend, we started out as friends Megumi… and I… I don’t know… I truly don’t know if I could ever let go of him, especially letting him go as a friend, the thought of it is… it’s too much to bear right now.” She could feel the tension in her shoulders relaxing gradually as the words flowed out of her lips. It was hard to keep things from Megumi. One look from him, and she easily crumbled like paper. Megumi eyed her sympathetically, concerned for her state. He took one of her hands and intertwined it with his, rubbing gentle strokes on her cold skin with his thumb. She relaxed into the touch, accepting the warmth from the stoic man.

“I know it feels like that right now… I remember how heartbroken you were when Choso left, but… as heavy as it is, as unbearable as it feels now, it will pass… you’ve lived a life without Geto, and you can live one without him again,” He spoke quietly, almost like a whisper, but it felt like he was speaking directly into her mind. There was nothing else, not even the buzzing of the refrigerator or the gushing wind outside. She knew how Megumi usually talked to those who are not close to him. He would try his hardest to be as gentle, but you can usually feel the firm and stoic demeanor more. Right now, in these moments, this is where Megumi becomes vulnerable as well. This is where Megumi doesn’t have to try to be soft, because deep down, that’s how he is. Megumi continued as his gaze lingered on their joined hands, “There is so much out there for you… you will find a love that is greater, one that actually makes you feel… loved, appreciated, taken care of, and one that actually allows you to give love back… what you have right now with Geto, that isn’t love… you may love him and give him love, and he might actually love you as well, who knows? But what he is giving you, how he has been treating you? That’s not love… and you deserve so much better than all of that shit.”

She knew Megumi was right. These are thoughts that have been lingering in her mind as well for the longest time, but it was something she refused to confront, let alone accept. Blissfully ignoring the obvious until her own body can’t contain all the pain anymore. “Megumi…” She didn’t realize she had been crying until a tear fell to her cheek. She wiped it quickly and laid her head on his shoulders. Megumi leaned into her head, reciprocating her touch. “I’m sorry for all of this mess… I’m trying, and… thank you, thank you for saying all of that… I know you’re right, I know you are… I know that the pain is probably just clouding my judgement right now, but thank you… I needed to hear that, I needed that to be spoken to me,” She uttered through her tears, her voice strained. She remained glued to his shoulders, silently crying as her cheeks continue to dampen. Megumi’s thumb continued to stroke soft circles on her hand. “You know… I’m saying all of this to you because you haven’t really had much rest… I know it took a long time from Choso to Geto, but throughout that, you mostly focused on your studies, you didn’t really process what you went through.”

And again, her friend was right. Choso and her dated since eleventh grade. He was her first boyfriend, her first ever romantic relationship. For the most part, their relationship was healthy and stable. Choso had been supportive of her studies, and she also supported his decision to immediately work at his family’s company after graduating high school. It was until the start of her third semester when he broke the news. His family was moving him to head their branch in Osaka. She was happy for him, especially noting how excited he was. He wasn’t sure how long he had to take on that responsibility, and decided to end the relationship. Long distance wasn’t something he wanted or thought he could do. He stated that they were too young to be taking the relationship to that level, to that extent. Heartbroken, she accepted the decision. She wanted to stay, but there was no point. He didn’t want to fight for it. There wasn’t much of a mourning period after the breakup, she decided to bury herself in her books, research papers, and projects. Her passion to keep progressing allowed her to improve at such an accelerated pace, but the lack of processing what she went through had impacted her more than she thought on other aspects.

“I’m just saying, take this as a warning… process things first, before you get on with Gojo, or apparently… Satoru now,” Megumi stated bluntly after handing her pieces of his analysis one by one. Her eyes widened in shock, mouth agape at his final statement. Her cheeks were burning, unmistakably flushed at the insinuation. “What!? I… no, no, we’re not… like that and I don’t…” She trailed off, confused as to what to respond. Why did Megumi come to that conclusion? Megumi raised a brow, scoffing at her surprised reaction. He flicked her forehead, continuing his observation of her reactions with a composed demeanor, “Please, like I haven’t seen you blushing as you’re texting him… and the way you talked about him? You… gush over him… you can’t even deny that you don’t have any sort of feelings for the guy.” She groaned at his explanation. “Stop! I don’t… ugh, you’re delusional as hell, we’re just friends! And I admire him a lot because… because he’s… he’s a fucking genius! You should see the way he teaches and talk about astrophysics… it’s like I… finally found someone I can bond with to that extent, plus like… we connect more than that, and it’s hard because, usually, when meet people that I can nerd out with but it’s only limited to that, and when I meet people I can emotionally connect with, I can’t nerd out with! Which is okay of course, I have the most amazing, deep relationships with them! You included, but what’s a plus about you is that you listen to me geek out about it and you don’t just passively listen, you actually ask questions, which I really appreciate! And to also find someone like him was… it just doesn’t happen often, okay?” She blabbered on, making him faintly smirk, “Yes he’s… attractive, but like… that’s just that, everyone thinks so as well… and he’s like… insanely sweet and considerate, he’s funny and he just looks at me really gently, like… I’m not just a task given by Professor Yaga for him to complete, like he cares more than my studies, and… um… anyways, what about ‘One Cut of The Dead’? I’ve never watched it.” Megumi simply hummed, his smug smile still faintly plastered on his lips. It’s too early to probe about this; she won’t budge. He decided to leave it at that, waiting for the moment it would click in his friend’s stubborn head. Huffing out a quiet laugh, he replied to her suggestion, “Okay, that sounds good, I also haven’t watched it, it’s got good reviews, no?”

Notes:

this felt satisfying to write (not read because i cringe at my own writing). our girl is fighting back!

i know i wrote the story starting off with her and geto's relationship already kind of cracking greatly. it feels abrupt yes, it might feel less emotional yes, but i promise you, we will dive in deeper on how that relationship unfolded.

also yaaay! we get to see megumi HAHAHAH i was inspired by the scene where ozawa confided in nobara and megumi regarding her feelings with yuji. i just kinda thought that megumi's response was so adorable, and i kind of wanted to draw on that here, especially since megumi and our girl are besties since they were kids.

hope you guys like all of this so far. thank u so much for reading!

Chapter 7: you're unraveling me

Thursday, March 14, 2024

“Alright, let me see your score! I know Yaga handed them out to you guys today,” Gojo stated with excitement, his icy-blue eyes gleaming. He had run to her class a minute before it ended, slightly panting when he arrived at the door. When Yaga exited the class, he eyed Gojo suspiciously before quietly stepping aside, motioning with his hand to enter. Yaga had assumed that the white-haired man was fond of her, or something along those lines. It was the way he would talk about her. He remembered when Gojo probed him for the first time about a certain student a batch below his, pretending to act nonchalant when he clearly showed signs of being flustered. Gojo stated that he was simply curious because he heard a few things about her; how intelligent she was. He wanted to know if Yaga was teaching her. When Yaga described her accomplishments, her physical description, and finally mentioned her name to make sure she was the one Gojo had been referring to, he swore he saw Gojo’s eyes light up. After Yaga offered the TA position to him, that was when his demeanor and behavior started becoming more obvious. It was when Yaga would drop by the first few classes, just when the white-haired TA started out. He watched as Gojo’s eyes would linger on her a little bit too long. The frequency of it is what got to him. Sometimes, he would steal glances whenever they were at Yaga’s office. When Gojo had to grade papers, Yaga watched as he would look through the stack of test papers, searching for a particular one. He would always read that one first.

It was Gojo after all who brought up the issue of her declining test scores. It was just slightly below average, though it kept dropping. If it were another student, Yaga wouldn’t have worried so much, but it was her. It seemed almost unbelievable at first. She missed the marks on even the simplest questions. He should have noticed the signs. She looked as though she was zoned out, her mind elsewhere as he droned on about galactic models. At some point, she fell asleep. Her head was buried in her hands on the table. Yaga grew concerned as well after Gojo came to him, holding her papers in his hands, worry drawn all over his face. He needed Gojo to keep track of her progress, to make sure she is back on track. She was one of the top students that their faculty and the university has. Aside from personal matters due to his dual position as her supervisor, he saw a bright future ahead of her. The professor didn’t want her to throw it all away. The semester had just started out, and he needed to move fast. Gojo was the best option, considering he was the best student the university has ever had in the span of a decade.

After entering the class, Gojo acted like he was just passing by, deciding to drop by. He strutted to her desk, earning a few glances his way. There were giggles, whispers of ‘he’s so gorgeous’. She could hear them swoon over the tall man; unable to fight a smile from forming on her lips. Though, he didn’t seem to care or even hear. His eyes were focused on her. For the test that was taken the day before, he didn’t get a chance to grade it. Seeing how hard Gojo worked for his thesis, to teach his class, and to tutor her, Yaga decided to teach the class yesterday. He graded the papers as well. He would never admit it to Gojo’s face, but he appreciated his TA’s resilience and dedication; despite how much Gojo could annoy him. Though Gojo got a chance to relax for a bit, he couldn’t help but feel a bit frustrated. Yesterday, there was no tutoring session. She had suggested a day off as she had just finished the test, wanting to take a long nap. Although he agreed that she needed the rest from all that hard work, he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing that day. He also wanted to be the one grading the papers; he wanted to see how she was doing during the test.

She sighed, looking dejected at Gojo’s thrilled face when he asked about her score, “Don’t act stupid, I know damn well you graded them.” She actually knew he didn’t, considering Yaga told her after class had ended yesterday that he gave Gojo a day of a break. “I actually didn’t…” Gojo revealed with a half-curved pout. She huffed out a breath, a frown plastered on her face. “Come on… I’m sure you did your best,” Gojo reassured her, his voice gentle as he eyed her with a soft look of concern. Her reaction had made Gojo’s nerves spike. Questions arose within him, wondering if she was okay, wondering if he wasn’t a good tutor, wondering if he had failed her. She took the test paper out of her bag, looking at the score again before reluctantly handing him the paper upside down. She didn’t even look at him. Gojo swallowed a nervous gulp as he took the paper in his hands. Adjusting his glasses, his eyes ran to the top right corner of the paper. 

As his eyes widened at the number, she broke out into laughter. “Please tell me I’m a good actor, maybe that can be my backup plan if I can’t secure employment as an astrophysicist,” She joked as she watched Gojo’s expression turn into relief. He was glad and unbelievably proud. It was a whopping 95/10. She was back to the scores that she would usually get, which in general, was quite a difficult feat to achieve in the first place. Though he was more than pleased, his lips quickly turned into a frown; brows knitted together. “I can’t believe you would do that to me, that was so cruel,” He stated through his pout, palming his forehead dramatically as she giggled, “I felt like a horrible teacher.” She threw him a wide grin, honeyed at its corners. It was a sickly sweet grin that made Gojo immediately smile in return, abandoning his pretend hurt. “I’m sorry, I just had to do that before reminding you that… you’re paying for my dinner!” She cheered ecstatically, her eyes half-covered by the rise of her cheeks. The way she glowed tugged his heart, a fluttering sensation spreading from his chest down to his guts. “Congratulations, I’m so fucking happy for you, and you will be getting that dinner! So, congrats again for getting a free meal… but on one condition,” Gojo uttered, building the suspense as her ears perked up with curiosity, “You can’t decline where I’m taking you, you have to accept whatever is going to be given to you.” She chuckled with excitement, snatching the paper playfully from him. She responded to his deal as she stuffed the paper neatly back in her bag, “Now, why would I be complaining about a free meal?”

---

“Satoru… why the hell would you take me here… I am… not fucking dressed for this, you sadistic freak,” She muttered through gritted teeth; she was in disbelief. Most of the time, she forgot just how grossly rich his family actually was. Her brows were drawn together, chest heaving with anxiety whilst attempting to look composed. She eyed the environment, feeling in contrast with the high ceilings, well-dressed diners, classical music playing in the background, and a mini waterfall in the middle of the restaurant. Her eyes darted all over the place, noting the fancy patterns on the velvet carpet that guided patrons inside, the warm, ember lighting from the sconces that reflected on the polished silver and glasswares, heavy draped fabrics, giant vases of fresh flowers, and the dark hardwood that decorated the floors underneath the carpet. She eyed the outfit that she wore with a pout, her usual platformed calf boots decorated her feet. Her eyes gradually drifted outwards, suddenly over-observing every piece of clothing on her. Baggy jeans and a full-white converse, topped with a black tank top and a sheer white long-sleeve over it. She wanted to smack Gojo. He could’ve, at the very least, let her get changed first. Though she would’ve still refused to come if she knew how fancy the place was going to be. She nervously swallowed the lump in her throat as Gojo chuckled under his breath. “Relax, I’m paying, and we had a deal, remember?” Gojo teased her, his eyes shining with a warm reassurance. She nodded slowly, wanting to take back her promise back in class.

“I could’ve worn something way better, but no, Gojo Satoru decided to immediately drive here,” She sarcastically retorted with a quiet voice, not wanting other patrons to hear her. Gojo turned his body to face her, slightly bending down his torso to get closer to her. Laying a hand on top of her head, he patted her gently whilst chuckling, which made her cheeks warm. “Hey, look at me and what I’m wearing,” Gojo stated casually. She eyed his oversized sage green hoodie with a white shirt underneath, high-top black and white sneakers covered slightly by the hem of his baggy jeans, and a backpack with pins; manga protagonists and galaxy puns written on some. It was then that she noticed how good he looked wearing such a simple, casual outfit. A little too good. She cleared her throat. He did look laid back as well, making her feel slightly calm. “It’s alright, it’s just an outfit, we’re here to eat! Plus, you look… amazing already, so… yea um… that,” Gojo wanted to slap himself for growing flustered as he complimented her, quickly turning away from her gaze to hide his growing blush. He wondered why it was so easy for him to become a flustered teenager when she’s around. A faint smile curved on her lips at his reaction. “You’re just trying to reassure me because I look anxious as hell right now,” She tried to playfully dismiss him, unable to look into his eyes. Gojo wished she could see it herself. He wished he could see through his eyes who exactly has been occupying his mind. “Yea, maybe I am,” Gojo tried to tease her to get rid of his own fluster, earning a smack to his arm.

One of the waitresses arrived and immediately tended to Gojo. From the knowing smiles flashed by the waitress and the way they bantered, she assumed that he was a regular. The waitress directed them to the outdoor section on the roof of the second floor, which felt entirely different from the atmosphere inside. She raised her eyebrow at the choice for such polarizing designs, but stood in a sense of wonder at the greenery in the outdoors. The view was close to enchanting. The cherry blossoms — close to blooming — stood elegantly, protruding from the small garden below. The pink flowers decorated its branches, spreading mightily in the air. The flooring  beneath their feet was a patchwork of natural stones, its small tiles of varying colors and textures meshed to create intricate patterns. Vines wrapped around the railings, climbing to cover almost all of its dark wood. Tables and chairs made out of intentionally disproportionate wooden pieces added a hint of modesty to the expensive environment. The waitress showed them to their table, right by the railing. As they sat down, the waitress left to get the menus. Gojo might have craved for a simple life, but there was no denying that still had an affinity for some of the high-end lifestyle. With his outfits and furniture, she could gather that had expensive tastes for a few things.

Her palm stretched open against the table, trying to feel its wooden surface on her skin. She sighed in content, appreciating her surroundings as it had slightly relieved her off of the tension. Gojo watched as she got lost in the view, her eyes gleaming at the cherry blossoms. It brought a smile to his face, “I knew you’d like it.” The softness in his grin turned to a playful smug, making her roll her eyes. “It’s… kind of nice up here, I guess,” She feigned indifference jokingly, pretending to be unimpressed with a shrug of her shoulders. Gojo chuckled widely in return. “But yea… it’s nice… though I can’t help but estimate the price in my head, and I start to feel like I’m loosing blood,” She uttered with a huffed breath, earning a snicker from him. “It’s on me, remember? Don’t think about it, just… eat and enjoy, which I’m sure you will,” He stated gently, looking calm and composed, “I brought you here because I have a feeling you will love the… ambience? But definitely, I know you’d love the food, and especially, the desserts.” One of her eyebrows quirked, slightly intrigued. “You go here often, don’t you?” She queried, wanting to know if her assumptions had been correct. He nodded with a nervous smile, “I mean… it has become one of my favorite places to eat, and that’s why I wanted to bring you here, but I don’t go as often as you think though, but I do go here… at least once in two weeks during spring, because well…” He trailed off as he motioned with his head towards the cherry blossoms. She smiled at the thought, agreeing with how beautiful the trees were. She could feel her chest warm up at his words. She couldn’t believe that Gojo wanted to bring her to one of his favorite places, despite only really knowing each other for a short time. His words were simple, but it struck something within her. Or maybe she had been reading too much into nothing. She had been in this situation, refusing to admit even to herself that Geto was interested in her more than a friend; until the signs were too obvious. Or was it too obvious in my mind? It wasn’t the objective truth after all, since he treated her the way that he did. Though she couldn’t deny that he was actually interested, just not in her. It was her body he was after, it was the feeling of someone bending to his will, it was knowing she would easily fall down to her knees with a whisper from his lips.

Though Gojo was right. The food tasted beyond amazing. Not only that, but Chinese cuisine was one of her favorites. She couldn’t help but feel flustered that he remembered that about her. She shook her head, not wanting to dive too deep into it as the thoughts started to spread everywhere in her mind. She eyed her empty plate, feeling her stomach starting to reach its limits. She took a deep breath as she realized that the desserts they ordered hadn't arrived at their table yet. “Satoru… that was… one of the best meals I’ve ever had in my life… please don’t ever tell me how much it costs,” She uttered as her eyes glimmered; mesmerized at the quality of everything. Gojo softly chuckled under his breath, his face painted with endearment. “It’s amazing right? Wait until you taste the cakes,” He replied as he grinned brightly. She laughed in response, “I don’t know if I’ll still be able to, but fuck it, a stomachache from being incredibly stuffed doesn’t sound so bad right now.”

---

“I gotta get a hundred in my next test, let’s see what you’ll treat me with by then,” She joked as they got out of the car, earning a radiant, sunlit laugh from Gojo. He walked up to the pavement, standing up in front of her with a wide grin that suddenly fell. It had only registered in his mind that since she was updated with her studies and doing well, it was no longer a necessity for their tutoring sessions to continue. He swallowed a lump in his throat at the thought of not seeing her again. Spending time with her despite being faced with a stack of books, discussing theories, bonding over their shared love of local bands, watching her sickly sweet smile from up close, hearing her voice. She saw his sudden frown, her brows faintly knitted together at the sight. “Are you okay? Did I… say something wrong?” Her eyes nervously darted between his pair of eyes, trying to look for an answer. Gojo tried to plaster on a smile, one that didn’t seem to reach his eyes. “No, no at all, it’s… it’s alright, I just… remembered that since your grades are now as stellar as they had been before, so we don’t have to have our tutoring sessions anymore,” He stated, still trying to maintain his bright composure. That was when a pout started to grow on her lips. She had such a great time with Gojo that she forgot why she was being tutored in the first place. 

“Right… I… I got a pretty good score already, and I think I’m back on track so… yea… you’re right,” She uttered as the realization felt heavy on her shoulders. Why was she so devastated over this? Clearing her throat, she tilted her face upwards to face him, laying both palms on his shoulders. The touch made his shoulders jolt, eyes widening as he stared back at her. Electrifying was an understatement to describe what flowed in his veins at the sudden gesture. He quickly settled into the touch, shoulders relaxing and chest falling. “I just… want to say thank you for sparing time in your… very busy schedule to tutor me,” She started to speak, looking so deeply into his eyes that he felt like he was going to melt from the intensity, “You had been more than helpful, and turns out, I had more fun that I thought I would have whilst discussing about galactic models… and yea, I didn’t expect to get along that well with you, it had been… more than amazing, getting to know you and all.” Throwing him a warm smile, he couldn’t help but note the hint of sadness underneath it. He wondered if that was solely his imagination or she felt the same way about parting. “Sorry this is kind of dramatic, I’m acting like I’ll never see you again,” She suddenly retreated her hands whilst chuckling dryly, pocketing them in her long coat. He wasn’t crazy. He saw it. The twitch in the corner of her lips, the flutter in her eyes. That alone was enough for him to try his luck.

“Hey… I had an amazing time as well,” Gojo swiftly placed his hand on her shoulder, slightly close to her neck. His thumb grazed the skin of her collarbone, making her breath hitch. He was looking into her eyes with an expression that she couldn’t quite read. It was as if every line of his face softened, every glance brushed with tenderness. She wondered if he knew just how much butterflies were fluttering around her guts from his look and small touch alone. “I always found you to be incredibly worthy of praise, admiration, and respect, but I… was taken aback the more that I got to know you… it was as if all the thoughts that I had about you couldn’t even begin to describe how mesmerizing you are, as a person, as a fellow nerd, as a… friend,” Gojo continued, making her frozen in place. He took a step closer, leaving only a few inches between them. His head had slightly bent downwards, drawing his face closer to hers. She couldn’t hear it, but it felt like the beat of his heart was echoing in the streets. This has never happened before. Her mere presence could make his chest feel like it was dropping down to his guts. She stood still, unable to make a single move. “I consider you as… one of my friends now and I… would love to still hangout with you,” Gojo went on, his thoughts loud as he contemplated his words, “When you’re free, and you want to… meet up or something, to study together, to watch a movie, or to just… talk, anything really, I’ll… do anything with you, just call me.”

Her mouth parted. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. He said the words that couldn’t seem to be spoken by her. I’ll… do anything with you. She blushed as those words kept repeating in her mind. Did it mean what she thought it meant or was she simply reading too much into it? Was she unnecessarily picking it apart? It couldn't be. I consider you as… one of my friends now. She bit her lip as she remembered his previous words. That was all there was. He thought of her as just that. Why did it disappoint her? Didn’t she feel the same way? Why did she feel like she was expecting more? “Um I… me too… I’d love to still spend time with you, and yea I’ll call you up, you can… do the same as well, just, let me know,” She stuttered, unable to stare into his piercing gaze but unwilling to look away, “You’ve become… a friend as well and I… I like the sound of that.” There was a feeling of relief that washed over him, but he couldn’t ignore the disappointment gnawing in his chest. He didn’t blame her, he was the one who uttered the word ‘friend’ in the first place. What was he expecting her to say anyway? That she was starting to feel confused whether this admiration was more than just simply that, too? Whatever was happening, he was just glad that she could still be in his life somehow.

---

Pushing the window doors wide open, she cracked open her pack of cigarettes and lit one in between her fingers. The first inhale gave her a sense of relief, her muscles relaxing as the nicotine entered her bloodstream. The air had been humid since late afternoon and though smoking wasn’t exactly helpful, she needed it to help calm her thoughts. She checked the messages on her phone. There were still unopened messages from Shoko, Yuki, and of course, Geto. She clicked her tongue. Simply seeing his small profile picture had left a bitter taste on her tongue. He had been bombarding her with apologies since Sunday, but it stopped on Wednesday. She locked her phone and threw it to the side, continuing to take a puff of her cigarette. Flashes of the guilt on his expression crossed her mind. She must be imagining things, or he actually knew what he was doing. He must’ve. How could one do this without knowing what they were doing? She covered her hands with her palms, growing frustrated at the thought of him. The pain resurfaced, her chest weighing heavy. Geto had such a way of making her feel extremely unworthy of herself, yet she couldn’t stop craving for a tiny piece of his attention, his affection. She wondered what happened, what shifted. 

Huffing out a breath at the thoughts of him and the stuffy air, a bead of sweat ran down the side of her neck. Her hand flew to the wet spot, wiping away the salted water. As her fingers grazed against the skin, Gojo’s face shot through her mind. The memory of his touch clung to her like an echo that refused to disappear, his fingers lingering on her skin. Her hand ran down, fingers softly brushing against her collarbone; right where he laid them. Its warmth reminded her of his icy-blue eyes that held her gaze, searching its depths. The almost imperceptible tremble in the corner of his lips, parted slightly. Heat crept up her neck at the memory, a flutter stirred low in her guts. She left out a small gasp as she came back down from the trance, eyes shooting wide open. Her eyebrows knitted, bewildered at her own reaction. She struggled to understand how the memory latched on to her mind, down to the surface of her skin.

A knock on the door was heard. She flinched at the sound, her body reflexively jerking. She squinted her eyes, nose scrunching in confusion. She wasn’t expecting any guests today. Standing up, she shouted to the person behind the door to wait. She walked up to the door with careful steps. As her hand slowly turned the knob, her heart started beating fast. Opening the door, she was greeted by the sight of Shoko awkwardly waving at her. “Hi… I haven’t heard from you in a while,” Shoko uttered with a nervous smile, shyly looking everywhere but her. Her eyebrows raised in surprise, “Shoko, hi! Uh… I… honestly didn’t expect you here… come in, come in!” She stepped aside, allowing Shoko to enter. Looking around the apartment, Shoko slowly took her shoes off. “Yea… sorry for dropping by out of nowhere, I just… I’m worried about you,” Shoko debated confessing even further about her worries, not wanting to seem clingy, “We haven’t talked since… Valentine’s.” The events of the night flashed in her mind. Swallowing a lump that started to return in her throat, she stuttered as she tried to find an excuse, “Yea um, I… wasn’t feeling super well that night, so I left early.” But it didn’t explain why she had been missing from her friends for days; weeks even.

She closed the door behind her, lingering by the entrance; hand still stuck on the metal knob. “How… are you? Sorry I haven’t replied to your texts,” She said, smiling apologetically. Shoko waved her hand down in dismissal, “I’m okay and yea, It’s alright, we were just worried and all.” Shoko leaned on the counter near the front entrance, crossing her arms against her chest. She awkwardly stole glances at Shoko, mostly focusing on the wooden floor of her apartment. Shoko huffed out a quiet breath, deciding to let out the thoughts she had kept hidden for so long. “Listen, I know about you and Suguru,” Shoko blurted it out, making her shoulders jump. Her gaze ran to Shoko’s stoic expression. “Wha… what?” She uttered in disbelief, eyes blown up in panic. A soft, sheepish smile was drawn on Shoko’s face; almost remorseful. “I… I knew for the longest time, I just… I guess I didn’t want it to feel real, to be real… that’s why I never outwardly confronted you about it,” Shoko let out a deep exhale, pulling out her pack of cigarettes, “But seeing your reaction now, I can be certain that… yea, it’s true.” Shoko waved the pack in the air, silently asking her for permission. She broke out of her surprise to signal Shoko, “Yea, yea go ahead, let me just open the window.”

After they sat down on the couch near her apartment window, she inhaled a long breath. Letting out what felt like all the air from her lungs. Shoko kept quiet, giving her all the time in the world for her to speak. She reached out for her own pack laying down on the coffee table in front of the couch and burned a stick. As the smoke exited from her lips, she finally broke the silence, “Yea, I… I had a… thing… with Suguru, I’m not sure what to call it.” She let out a bitter laugh, dry at its tone. Shoko eyed her with a half-hearted smile, her heart twisting at the confirmation. The short-haired woman took a puff of her cigarette, breathing in the smoke deeply. “I’ve always known… it’s the stares, stealing glances, the touches that… just seemed… different, like the affection was different,” Shoko replied, picturing the memories like a collage in her head, “It’s the way that Suguru never shuts up about you, finding ways to mention you, the way he’d always… just slime his way to be near you, the smiles he tries to hold in at the mention of you, finding ways to drive you home, to linger in your apartment after everyone had said their goodbyes.” Her lips parted at Shoko’s confession, but her expression slowly turned to confusion and anger. The way Shoko described her observation was disorienting to her. The words latched on to her mind. How was what she experienced completely different from what Shoko had illustrated?

“I’m… what? I understand that it… might’ve been obvious from me but… Suguru had never looked at me that way… at least in front of everyone,” She retorted, her tone firmer. There was a faint frown that formed on Shoko’s lips, the stick in between her lips slightly moving downwards as though it was about to fall. “He does, trust me, this is not just a conversation between me and my head,” Shoko pulled out the cigarette from her mouth to tap it against the ashtray, the ashes decorating the ceramic, “But I didn’t let the others know what I was thinking… I’m pretty sure Yuki feels the same way, but, it’s Yuki.” The blonde was mostly nonchalant about these things. Yuki was not one to pry, unless there were underlying intentions. Still puzzled, she waved her hands in the air, “But Suguru is… cold to me… I don’t think he really cares or pays attention to me, so I don’t know how you figured out about us being together in the first place.” Was it denial that Shoko sensed? Though the more Shoko thought about it, the more it made sense. Geto was experienced in the subtle art of steering hearts and moments. “I don’t know fully what happened between the two of you, but knowing him, I can gather some… ideas,” Shoko winced at the possibilities, “I know we don’t… really talk a lot about personal things, but… if you want to talk to me about it, I’m… I’m here.”

Shoko was tight-lipped about herself and mostly acted with indifference to a lot of personal discussions with the group; at least from what she has seen. She has known Shoko for months now, but she never knew her to that extent. They got along quite well, bantering like an old friend, laughing over the stupidest things, conjuring up ideas on how to spend their weekends that made the others groan, their in-depth discussions about music, especially the metal scene. It was obvious to her that Shoko cared; more than what meets the eye. It’s the subtle looks, the simple questions to check in on her friends, it’s the small, gentle touch of reassurance. Though she didn’t feel like they were that close for her to confide in Shoko. She didn’t want to feel the rejection or impassiveness from her friend, maybe that was why she kept her mouth closed. It was at that moment that she realized just how wrong she had been. In actuality, Shoko had been worried sick. Her unanswered texts left Shoko anxious at times, consecutively asking her friends whether she had responded to them. When Shoko was met with shaking heads and frowns, that was when her nerves would spike. It frustrated Shoko even more when all Geto could reply with was curtness; avoiding her gaze at all cost.

It was until Shoko called up Gojo, asking if somehow he knew what had happened to her friend, considering how he TA’d her class. Relief washed over Shoko when Gojo updated her on her missing friend, finding out she was focusing on her studies and apparently spending more time with Gojo. They laughed over the circumstances, finding the universe to be amusing. She wished him luck, earning a flustered response from Gojo, denying whatever Shoko was trying to imply. They ended up talking for about two hours, updating on each other’s lives. It had been a while since they talked. Though she still met up with Gojo from time to time, Shoko spent more time with Geto. She didn’t exactly prefer to spend more time with the man over Gojo; it was just convenient. Gojo was the one who left after all, leaving Geto to be the one still sticking around with the group. There was still a lingering feeling of anger when she remembered the fact that Gojo bolted, though she understood why he did, not really holding it against him. Maybe she would’ve left as well, she wasn’t sure. But as reluctant as she is to admit it, she devastatingly missed him. The phone call ended with Gojo making a petty comment about Geto, something along the lines of: “hope he knows when to stop his trail of broken hearts.” Shoko had laughed over it, missing Gojo’s poetic comments that would slip out of his mouth at the most random times, but when she hung up the phone, she thought more about it. After everything went down, Gojo rarely brought up Geto to her. Her suspicions were further confirmed. The fact that her friend was missing probably had something to do with Geto and her relationship with him.

She thought more about Geto; his deepening eyebags, his dissociated eyes. Geto’s usually pretty fussy about his hair. Always making sure it’s neat, always making sure it looks as perfect as he needs it to be, but lately that’s not the case. There are days where it’s dishevelled, sticking out of its buns, sometimes not even caring to tie his hair at all. His smoking habits had gotten worse as well, finishing one pack a day on most days. She can pinpoint this shift to a particular day; Valentine’s. Shoko understood that Geto kept his escapades mostly to himself, but she had never seen him this perturbed over it. It was Manami that last left him close to that state, and it was never this bad. She didn’t want to admit it then, but it hurt her that Geto didn’t open up his mouth about this, especially because of how distressed he had been over it. It hurt Shoko even more after she confirmed it. It was a sting that Geto decided to open up more to Utahime when Gojo left, and it is a sting now. Things took a drastic turn ever since Gojo left. It felt like the both of them were pulling away from her, shutting themselves out.

Then, there was her. Shoko was surprised that she got along with her on their first meeting. It was also a surprise that Geto didn’t immediately take her to bed, considering how lovely she was and the fact that she was his type inside and out. Maybe it was that exact reason that he didn’t court her. Of course Geto probably didn’t approach her that way immediately because she was Gojo’s crush, but it still surprised Shoko either way. Nonetheless, Shoko was more than glad that he didn’t, because she stuck around and got closer to the group. It was comforting and thrilling. She was a breath of fresh air, bringing a new dynamic to the group. Yuki and Nanami ended up hanging out more often. Even Mei Mei liked her; a rare occasion. Despite how happy she was at the new addition to the group, there had been too many wounds that Shoko carried. She was tired of people constantly leaving, so she kept a little bit of distance from her. Shoko didn’t want to get personally attached; at least not yet. “I know I’m… pretty close with Suguru, well, at least used to be I think, but… just so you know, I don’t condone whatever shit he pulls with the girls he’s been with, and I probably won’t condone whatever it is that he’s done to you because, well,” Shoko moved her hands as she talked, growing frustrated at the thought of Geto hurting her. It pained Shoko that Geto would cause great distress for her. “Uh… what do you mean… used to?” She questioned with confusion and worry drawn on her face. Shoko clicked her tongue, looking out into the window, “Let’s just say… it has been quite different since Satoru left.” She nodded slowly, not wanting to pry. She assumed from Shoko’s choice of words that it should be left at that for now. “Well, I… don’t know where to begin,” She spoke quietly, as if she didn’t want Shoko to hear it. She didn’t want Shoko to know the extent of how he had hurt her, but she couldn’t keep it from her friend anymore.

Notes:

i am a number one shoko defender gooooddd she deserves all the love. writing this out made me realize just how emotionally unavailable my characters are lmaooo

i remember the fact that gojo was a sucker for high-end fashion, and that was the idea i had as i wrote this chapter down. i wanted to show that though gojo craved simplicity (due to his stinking rich background), there was still no denying his family's class background seeping into him as he still loved expensive things. also... they're dramatic af about their tutoring session ending lmao affection starved bitches. but yes, i also kind of wanted to draw just how lonely the younger generation are these days. though they are often in communities, i still observe the chronic loneliness that they experience, the lack of connectivity amongst one another. there's a community but the sense of it is lacking.

as always, thank you for reading! i can't wait to post the next chapter because it's so angsty. let's hope i can post this often HAHAHA i'm feeling a surge of productivity with my work and other activities, including continuing this fic (my apologies to the levi fic, i'm still trying to navigate how the story will unfold).

Chapter 8: in the late hours of the night

Notes:

TW: slight... nsfw? very very minor, almost not there even.

Sunday, March 17, 2024

Shoko eyed Geto with disdain; anger boiling up in her veins. It frustrated her even more that he still wouldn’t tell her anything after she finally found out what happened. Shoko wanted to scream, berate him for what he had done to her friend. It was hard to look at him with affection at the moment, especially when he still wouldn’t open up to her. “Shoko jeez, what pissed you off today?” Yuki quipped, slightly chuckling to lighten the mood. Shoko tried to relax her face at the comment, though there was still a faint crease on her forehead. Geto turned his head to watch Shoko, carefully observing her expressions and movements. “Nothing, no worries, just a raging headache,” She uttered, sounding almost genuine. Almost. Geto slightly squinted his eyes at her, but she refused to meet his gaze. She could see him staring her down through her peripheral vision, but she pretended not to know. “I have paracetamol if you need it!” Utahime offered with a pout, holding out a hand to rub Shoko’s shoulder. She threw a sheepish smile to the black-haired woman, “No, no it’s okay, took two already this afternoon, plus… I’m not mixing that with beer.” The group broke out in laughter as they remembered where they were. Shoko was casually lying through her teeth, something she had always used to. It even fooled Geto often, but that wasn’t the case this time. After being berated by her in front of the bar, he had visited that bar more often than he should have. Those nights had left him almost incapacitated from the amount of alcohol that entered his system. Paranoia lingered in his mind. He felt like his friends knew something, knew about the both of them, but refused to talk to him about it.

Geto clicked his tongue, eyeing his half-empty bottle of beer. It wasn’t strong enough to douse the loudness of his own thoughts flaring up in his head, but the amount of beer and shots that he downed had already started to make him feel tipsy. He didn’t want to make his friends worry over him again, especially with Nanami having to carry half of his body back to Yuki’s car. “God, the music sucks tonight,” Nanami spoke under his breath, earning a chuckle from Utahime. “Yea, it kinda does,” Utahime agreed with a groan, “Guys, go to the DJ and just start, asking for a mic or something, relieve me from the pain of hearing this song everywhere.” Utahime was drunk, her face flushed red. The group giggled at the intoxicated Utahime. She could be brash, but only if the person frustrates her. Gojo was usually the one who would push her buttons. Geto often did, but the frequency had lessened greatly ever since Gojo left. “Ah! Which reminds me, Shoko, my girlfriend said that the song you wrote, you know, ‘Swallowing Salt’, is really good!” Utahime spoke once more, slightly slurring her words, “Please write songs more often, enough of Geto’s lovesick writing.” The group erupted in a cackle, except Geto, Nanami, and Shoko who only huffed out a chuckle; all for different reasons. “As if Shoko’s writing isn’t lovesick and depressing as well,” Geto added with tease. Any other day, she would’ve agreed and laughed, but at that moment, everything the man was saying seemed like gasoline to her already burning anger. Shoko’s retorts are often wittily brash; casual in its tone like a playful banter. Though this time tone was harsh, not mincing her words even slightly, “I’ve been working on a new song actually, yea… maybe I should call it, ‘You Ungrateful Womanizing Asshole’... I think that’s the perfect title to the song.” 

Silence quickly befell the table, tension lingering in the air. Nanami’s eyes were shot wide open, looking down on the table as his hands froze on the bottle he was holding. Utahime’s mouth parted at Shoko’s retort, while Yuki’s lips pressed into a tight line. Geto was taken aback. The anger laced in her tone shocked him, his gaze piercing into her. Shoko exhaled a sharp breath before standing up. She grabbed her pack of cigarettes from the table, “I’m gonna smoke, I think the alcohol is getting to me.” She walked out quickly, still refusing to even spare a glance at Geto. The black-haired man’s pupils followed her figure as she slowly disappeared into the crowd towards the exit. Before anyone could say anything, he got up from his chair, grabbing his own pack. “I’m gonna smoke as well, see you guys,” He quickly spoke before walking away from the table. He headed towards the exit, hoping to find Shoko outside. As he pushed the doors wide open, he could see Shoko’s figure on the pavement. She was standing near a street pole, eyes lost on the road in front of her. It was a familiar sight; a familiar dread creeping up his neck. He walked up towards her, taking careful steps.

“What happened back there? Anything you’re not telling me?” Geto wasn’t exactly a confrontative person. When situations pushed him to be, he tended to dance around with words. This time, the alcohol was speaking for him. Shoko scoffed, feeling the effects of the drinks she had downed as well. “Not often that I hear you being direct,” The bitterness in her tone was clear, she was fuming despite how composed she was. A sudden feeling of light-headedness suddenly struck; her vision getting more blurry. The composure that she had maintained quickly broke as memories of Thursday came flooding into her mind. “Actually, it’s no longer often that you tell me about anything at all! You’ve been avoiding me ever since Satoru left! And it fucking hurts that you… you chose to talk to Utahime instead.” Geto froze in place, not expecting the attack that came from her. His lips parted, but nothing could come out. He didn’t even know what to retort back with. “I was there too, I was fucking there! I fucking miss him too, you asshole! Do I not mean anything to you? You’re here but it’s like you left too!” Shoko continued, “You or Satoru never even told me what the fuck happened! It couldn’t just be because of her, and there’s something the both of you are not telling me! The both of you shut me out! Fuck Suguru, he left us! Not just you, but us! Was I never there in yours… or his eyes? Is that it?” Tears started to form in the corner of her eyes, fists balled up in anger.

Geto’s lips trembled. He could see her glassy eyes threatening to pour down her cheeks. He wanted to reach out, but it was as though he was immobilized. She palmed her face in frustration, fingers rubbing against her eyelids. “I always had my suspicions, and I hoped, I fucking hoped that I was wrong, for the first time in a long time, I wanted to be wrong,” Her mind felt foggy. She was slurring all over the place, but she felt like nothing could stop her at that moment. It had been pent up in her chest, the pain constantly repressed. “And now I finally know just how shitty you had been to her, you fucking asshole, I can’t… I can’t believe you would treat her like that… she’s our fucking friend and she’s a fucking person worthy of respect,” Shoko took a step forward, throwing her cigarette to the pavement out of anger. She jabbed her index finger at his chest, “I finally have another friend, a friend that had become dear to me, but my best friend, at least used to be, decides to fucking fuck that up! All because you can’t keep it in your pants… and is a coward to fucking commit to the most lovely fucking person I had ever fucking met!” There was a lump forming in his throat. Every sentence that came out of her mouth felt like a punch after another. He couldn’t comprehend what was happening. Every passing day felt like his world kept on crumbling. Shoko’s disappointed face was starting to be ingrained into his mind, something that would surely haunt him for days on end.

“Shoko, I… I’m sorry… I fucking love you, and you mean the world to me, you are my best friend and you will always be, there’s no changing that,” He began to speak, voice strained from how dry his throat had gotten. Before he could continue, Shoko cut him off, “Then why are you acting like a stranger? Like I don’t fucking mean anything to you?” Geto huffed out a breath, trying to gather his thoughts to speak, the ache in his head was not helping. “Because! I… Shoko fuck, sometimes it’s… it’s hard to look at you because… I get reminded of the time where it was the three of us,” Geto’s voice gradually became a whisper. The words escaped his mouth like he had just spit out poison. He wasn’t sure how long he kept quiet about it, thinking that it’ll pass with time. “It would’ve been the same if… if you were the one who left… I would’ve shut him out just the same… because… it’s still hard to imagine us… without one of you.” Shoko stood still, only her lips trembled in a hushed sob. “Why… why did you have to wait for me to confront you? I’ve been… crying over this for… I don’t know when and you…” She trailed off, ending her words with her cries; the sound echoing in his head. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Shoko,” He repeated desperately, pleading with her for mercy. Shoko had broken down in a pained sob, face covered with her hands. His hands trembled as he reached out to hold her, but she took a few steps backwards.

“And how could you… how could you treat her like that? You wrote those songs about her, right? They were about her, right? But you couldn’t even say those things to her face! She’s goddamn head over heels for you, and you… just continue to play her with your strings and it’s… you’re fucking cruel, Suguru…” Shoko spoke in between sobs, sounding almost like a wail. Flashes of her smile crossed his mind. Her laughing with their friends, her slouching on the chair after studying for hours, her peaceful face when she was sleeping in his arms, it was all flooding his mind abruptly. He felt a pang in his head and chest, making his fingers run to his temples to rub it. “I… I don’t know…” He really didn’t know. He knew why he acted the way he did, but he didn’t know why he couldn’t help but do what he did. “That’s not a fucking answer, asshole,” Shoko spat out, stomping her foot, bloodshot eyes staring right through him. “I don’t know, okay!? It fucking… baffles me as well because, I don’t know! I don’t know why I haven’t been able to get her out of my head ever since the day that I met her, and I don’t know why I… I…” Geto trailed off, not being able to continue. The words were stuck in his throat, burning along with the lump.

“Fucking coward… I know damn well just how much you love her! You just refuse to admit it to yourself because you’re fucking scared of it, because you’re a fucking coward! She dese-” Before Shoko could finish off her sentence, vomit poured out of her mouth to the ground. “Oh fuck, okay yea, I’m… taking you back home,” Geto instinctively moved behind her, directing her to the trash can. He rubbed her back gently to help her puke out the alcohol. Seeing his friend puke had an instant sobering effect on him. One of his hands retreated from her body to fish out his phone from his pocket, dialing Nanami’s number. “Hey man, can you… bring out my stuff and Shoko’s? She’s wasted and puking, I’m gonna drive her home,” Geto spoke into the line as he continued to massage Shoko’s shoulders. Nanami simply replied affirmatively before hanging up. Two minutes passed and Nanami appeared in front of the bar, handing Geto their stuff. “What can I do to help?” Nanami questioned, his tone firm, his expression composed, though Geto could see the glint of concern in his eyes. “No worries, all taken care of here, I just need to drive her home,” Geto waved a hand down to reassure Nanami. “Will you be okay driving?” Nanami queried once more, taking a brief scan of Geto with his eyes. “Yea, yea I’m good, I won’t speed I promise,” Geto assured the blonde, taking a quick look at Shoko before returning his gaze to Nanami, “I’ll explain tomorrow, just go on and enjoy the night with Yuki and Hime, I’ll take care of her.” Nanami nodded reluctantly before bidding his goodbyes to them. 

---

Geto eyed Shoko’s intoxicated, half-present body with guilt. After laying Shoko down on her bed — after he was sure his friend could sleep better — the conversation outside of the bar played again in his mind. He sat down on the floor, leaning against the bed. Guilt, regret. He knew at some point, the consequences of his actions were going to blow up in his face. It was Gojo leaving. It was her finally getting fed up over the uncertainty. It was Shoko yelling at him for pushing her away. It was slowly losing them from his life. Geto rubbed his temples, the frustration made his head ache more than the alcohol did. Just when he started to get lost in his mind, he felt a hand lay on his shoulder. His head swivelled around to face the bed, greeted by Shoko’s sheepish smile. “Hey, you good?” Shoko checked in on him with her usual tone, making him huff out a grin. “You’re the one that threw up and almost passed out buddy,” Geto joked in response, chuckling under his breath, “I thought you were asleep already”. Shoko let out a dry laugh, closing her eyes for a few seconds before she gazed back at him. “Might fall asleep soon, but I can’t stop thinking about… earlier,” Shoko admitted, lowering her eyes. Geto hummed, quietly agreeing to the sentiment. “I’m not gonna apologize for all the yelling to be honest, I feel like you deserve it,” Shoko continued to confess, “I feel like… people think I’m… too chill? Too… nonchalant about things, and maybe to an extent, they think I don’t care but… I do… it hurts me Suguru… it hurts that you feel like you can just… sideline me like that.”

Geto moved closer to her face, rubbing his hands on her wrist. There was a gentleness in his eyes that she hadn’t witnessed in a long time. The warmth that she had missed. It was the Geto she had missed. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry I’ve been… avoidant as well… of course I care about you, and of course I know you were hurting too,” Geto swallowed a nervous gulp, fighting the voices inside that told him to curl up and never open the box he had kept locked so tightly, “I just… it’s not that I don’t want to talk to you about it, like I said it… it’s hard to… but I don’t want that to keep happening, not anymore, because it’s not only hurting me, it’s hurting you, and I should’ve… admitted that to myself sooner… I don’t want us to carry the pain alone, especially since we’re going through the same thing.” She nodded gently, eyes focused on Geto’s hand around her wrist. Letting out a deep sigh, Shoko held out a hand to pat his head. “You should really fix up your hair Suguru, you look like shit, and you’re usually obsessed with being finely groomed,” Shoko joked, her humor stepping out to lighten the mood. It was hard for her to have a full-on serious conversation. Geto groaned before laughing, flicking her forehead with his fingers. She pretended to feel pain at the motion, “Ugh, I just told you to not hurt me anymore emotionally, so you resort to physical pain?” Geto rolled his eyes playfully, ending it with a chuckle. “You deserve a flick for saying I look like shit,” He quipped in return with a smile. Shoko eyed him with a teasing grin, “But you do… you look like you haven’t been taking care of yourself, and I know you haven’t… which… is unsurprising, considering how you tragically fumbled a baddie.” She chuckled at her own joke. Geto simply huffed out an abashed smile, unable to accept his own stupidity. 

“What do you even want from her?” Shoko added, questioning him with a firm tone. She stared into him, searching for the answer that might be reflected in his lavender eyes. All she could see was regret and shame. “I… I don’t know,” Geto answered, unable to let out the truth. It was hard to admit to someone what they feel, when he didn’t even want to admit it to himself. Shoko clicked her tongue. “You are a coward Suguru, you’ve always been,” She replied harshly, but lightening the weight of her words with a snicker, “I see the way you look at her… and I need you to start admitting to yourself just how much you feel for her… I know Manami was your last straw, but… she’s not her… you need to realize that.” As much as it pained him to hear it, Geto knew that she was right. Shoko can be brash when it comes to laying out the truth, but what frustrated him the most was just how precise she was. Silence lingered over them. They were mulling the conversation in their own heads. It was until Shoko turned her face back to him, an apologetic smile plastered across her face, “You might be too late though… she and Satoru have been… really close lately, and you know damn well that we never saw him like that,” Shoko suddenly spoke, focusing her gaze on the miniscule reactions in his face; the eye twitching, his lips trembling. “And… he’s been good to her so far,” Shoko added. There was an intention to hurt Geto with this information. Out of the hurt Shoko felt, out of the pain that he had put her friend through; a critique regarding his treatment towards women. Though this was only a small reasoning in comparison to her intention to see the effect of said information on him. She wanted to see the reactions that she knew he wasn’t going to verbally, explicitly hear. 

Geto’s jaw tightened. He remembered when he tried to approach her in class on Thursday. He intended to talk to her. Geto didn’t know exactly what was going to come out of his mouth, but he just wanted to see her. He desperately missed seeing her, hearing her, being near her. He wanted to be able to have her in his arms once more. These past few weeks had truly struck him. He always craved her, but ever since their last fight, it has been feeling like her absence had resulted in some sort of chemical imbalance in his brain. He peeked through the windows of her class from the hallway, but there was a disturbing ache in his chest at what he was witnessinf. Gojo’s hands were propped up against the surface of her desk, his body hovering over hers. Geto had predicted that Gojo would end up having that look in his eyes. It was no longer simply admiration, no longer the googly eyes he donned whenever she passed by. It was something else, it was deeper. It wasn’t a surprise; it was her after all. Though it unbelievably crushed him when he saw the same look in her eyes. He turned around and exited the building; a punch to his gut, an elbow to his chest. “Is that so? Ha… well… Satoru had been insanely whipped over her for the longest time,” Geto uttered with a feigned wide smile as his insides felt like it was melting, “Then maybe… that’s what’s best for them.” None of those words came out of his mouth with utter sincerity; Shoko knew that. She knew that he was lying through his teeth, the faint condescending tone laced in his voice. That was why she scoffed, playfully smacking his head. “You’re the fakest bitch I’ve ever met Suguru, I know how much this bothers you… I know you don’t want her to be with Satoru, I know you want nothing more than punching the dude in his face right now,” She spoke sternly, sick of Geto’s word games, “I don’t think you’re worthy of her, hugely because how shitty you’ve been treating and seeing her, she’s out of your loser ass’ league… but… I know how much you meant to her, so… try to fix it… as best as you can.” Shoko’s words surprised him. He thought that she would go to lengths to stop him. Geto simply nodded, appreciating her support. “I know, I know… I don’t deserve her because… she deserves the world, but… I’m selfish,” Geto muttered with a bitter laugh as he eyed Shoko’s half-conscious state. Her eyelids were closed almost all the way, fluttering at the ends. She was softly snoring, making Geto smile sheepishly, “Goodnight Shoko, thank you… for still sticking around.”

---

She turned off her light, the darkness immediately enveloping the room. The street lamps seeping through the window provided some light in the bedroom, reflected on her white sheets. She walked towards her bed, ready to end the night. Yawning, she pulled the covers up to her chest. She opened up her phone as she laid down, checking it one last time before going to sleep. Clicking on the messaging app, she mindlessly scrolled and her eyes landed on Geto’s unopened texts. She wasn’t sure why, out of nowhere, she contemplated texting him. She never heard him out, but how will that even help her? It’s not like his explanation will provide her some clarity, especially closure. She wondered how he was doing. Last she heard from Shoko, he wasn’t doing so well, but she doubted it. He always went on just fine without her. There was no way her absence had any effect on him. Sighing, she scrolled up to the top, eyes landing on Gojo’s unopened text. She had seen the notification twenty minutes ago. At the glow of his name on her lock screen, her pulse stumbled. She didn’t know what came over her, it was like a reflex. Immediately unlocking her phone to open it but instead, her finger hovered over his text. Why did she react that way? Why was there a smile threatening to shoot through her lips at the sudden flash of his name? She rubbed her temples, unsure of what was happening to her. She decided to set her phone down and reply later. Time ticked and now she was in bed, clicking his text. Previously, they had been talking about a manga they were both reading that recently ended its run. 

Satoru

17/03/24

23:13

‘the way it ended up so abruptly, you could tell the mangaka couldn’t wait to finish the series’

‘it used to be so good riiight?’

‘anyways, how has your day been?

‘have u been getting good rest?’

‘i mean, u better’

‘considering u don’t have a tutoring session today:p’

A bright grin slowly formed on her lips as she read his text. She really appreciated all of the love and affection that her friends had given her, Gojo included. Though the affection wasn’t all that different from the ones her friends had shown her, she felt her cheeks heating up at his texts, immediately dropping her smile once she realized how wide she was smiling. She placed the phone down next to her, sitting still as she really thought about it. She kept asking herself, wondering what was going on. She had never looked at Gojo like that. Yes, she always found him to be insanely attractive. Yes, sometimes when he passes by she couldn’t help but linger her gaze on his figure, his pretty eyes. Yes, he was a formidable student, intelligent beyond comprehension. Yes, she respected him for his work ethic, perseverance, accomplishments, and overall intellect, but it had always been just like that. At least before she got the chance to really get to know him. Now that she was starting to peel the layers, she found herself admiring him even more. Yes, turns out he’s a huge geek who would go on a rant about galaxies and the universe when provoked. Yes, he would update her on his new findings; a vintage stamp, a comic or manga with yellowed pages, or a Digimon action figure. Yes, he would be quick to check up on her when he noticed just one small thing that seemed to be bothering her. Yes, he was very open to those who came to him, genuinely asking for help on their studies. Yes, he would make cocky and petty comments when someone pissed him off or if the person blabbered about something they barely researched on, but talked as if they had mastered the topic. Learning these things about him made her adore him more; with the exception of the smugness. Though sometimes, as much as she hated to admit it, she couldn’t help but feel flustered when he did. There was something slightly attractive about it.

She slapped her palm on her forehead, baffled by her own thoughts. Stop thinking about him that way. Though it was hard not to, especially when she can recall the way he looks at her when he’s listening. Eyes glued to hers with such intensity that it could melt her on the spot, searching every corner of her pupils. It was as though he was trying to swim into her mind. It was hard not to think about him like that when the way he smiled or laughed so brightly made something stir in her guts. It was the way his small, simple touch could easily make her crumble right then and there. It was the way they could connect and relate to so many things. They could talk for hours without an ounce of exhaustion, jumping from topic to topic, but they could also sit in comfortable silence whilst doing their respective things. She had found a kin in him, and maybe that was just it, but the thumping in her heart seemed to argue that there’s something else; something that she’s not addressing to herself. She picked up the phone once more, inhaling deeply to steady her breathing before typing out a response.

17/03/24

23:35

‘Ugh I know right? I used to have a big fat crush on Itsunari Kenshō’

‘I mean, I still do’

‘But well… he fucking died…’

‘I mean, the mangaka hated Kenshō with a passion HAHAHAH so idk why I was THAT surprised’

‘I was also in love with my emo king Yashiro Yuto, but he died as well aakdhdk I guess the mangaka hates me or something’

‘As devastating as it was though, I think it was quite a poetic ending for Kenshō, I actually liked it’

‘I’m good by the way! I mostly just had me-time’

‘Napping, cooking, sewing’

‘I made a new dress hehe:D’

‘It was something that I failed to make once, and I don’t know why yesterday I had the urge to try it again’

‘And it worked!’

‘How about uuu? How are you?’

She reread the texts she had sent, mouth agape at the amount. Everyday, it has become more obvious to herself just how much she gushed over him. She screamed into her pillow in frustration, her cheeks were tinted with a dark shade of red. There she was trying to get over Geto, but here comes his former friend; confusing her already messed up heart. She stuck her teeth on her bottom lip, mulling over everything. She wasn’t sure if Geto had ever made her feel like this. It’s a little bit hard to process at the moment, considering how long it has been since she felt like she was treated right by him. Considering how that mushy feeling felt incredibly distant in her chest, due to all the emotional neglect he had put her through. Before her thoughts started to flood her mind once more, her phone buzzed. Her head turned almost as swiftly as the notification sounded out, staring at the name on the screen. Quickly unlocking her phone, she opened up his texts.

Satoru

17/03/24

23:37

‘ahh so you like emo and white haired guys huh?’

‘i know a white haired dude, pretty cool in my book’

‘more good looking tho’

‘way better than kenshō’

‘but yea, his death was pretty sad’

‘i agree with what u said about his death tho, he felt lonely for a long time, waiting for someone to match up to his state of… insane power haha’

‘i’m good by the way, just finishing up some revisions’

‘gonna sleep soon, the caffeine is losing its effects’

‘glad you got more rest’

‘sounds like a productive day as well’

‘i’d love to see the dress on you’

‘i’m sure u did a great job’

‘i know you’ll look beautiful in it’

She furiously blushed at his texts; many of them left her gripping the phone tightly in her hands. It just dawned on her how similar one of her favorite characters was to Gojo. It didn’t help that she always fawned over the character, joking to her friends that the only man she’ll ever marry was Kenshō. She screamed into her pillow once more, unsure whether it was out of embarrassment from her “confession” or if it was his flirting. Was it even flirting? She couldn’t comprehend what was happening, the heat creeping up her neck wasn’t exactly helping her calm down. His last message was the tipping point. How was one short sentence, one simple compliment, able to make her a puttering mess? She fumbled with the phone in her hands, opting to end the conversation before losing her mind, despite her still wanting to talk to him. Not wanting to address the similarity — as it felt like a confirmation of her “confession” — she decided to playfully tease him instead.

17/03/24

23:55

‘You wish you were on Kenshō’s level’

‘No one is as amazing as him, that’s why he’s my husband’

‘Damn… you need to get some rest Satoru’

‘I’m gonna sleep soon too’

‘Ahahah thank you, idk when I’ll wear it tho’

‘Goodnight Satoru:)’

Satoru

17/03/24

23:56

‘well too bad for u, kenshō literally flirts with almost every living thing and is probably to busy with his job to have time for u’

‘maybe a less… ripped, but charming, smart, more handsome, loyal, awesome white haired guy should keep you company instead’

‘i will, i’m heading to bed now’

‘well, i can’t wait to see’

‘goodnight to u too, sweet dreams’

She giggled at his jokes, her laughter slowly dying down in a sigh. She read the first and last message over and over again, the grin plastered on her face seemed to grow by the passing second. She plopped her head back to her pillow, mind getting lost on the thought of Gojo. It had only been a few days since they saw each other, but she couldn’t wait to spend time with him again. She closed her messages app, opening up her gallery. She swiped through the photos of her and Gojo, sitting in the canteen, books spread all over the table. Swiping past them with a smile, she landed on photos during their late lunch in that restaurant he took her to, his pearly white teeth flashing as he posed with a peace sign. She also took candid pictures of Gojo while they were studying. There were pictures of him being caught off guard, and some angled from the side as he focused on his reading. There was something about those photos that made her chest flutter, her neck heating up once more. Maybe it was his laser sharp focus on his reading, maybe it was the faint knit of his brows as he read from one line to another, maybe it was the way his pretty white lashes draped above his eyes, or maybe it was all of it combined. Maybe it was just him being so determined with his studies that felt so incredibly attractive to her. She could feel herself growing flustered the more she stared at them. She covered her eyes with her hand, feeling embarrassed even though no one was watching. Though her cheeks were so red that it felt like people could see it from miles away. 

She locked her phone and placed it on the bedside table, groaning into her pillow. She didn’t understand what was happening to her mind. She didn’t understand what he was doing to her. She didn’t understand why she’s having these bodily reactions simply from his texts and photos. Turning her body to face the ceiling, she attempted to steady her breathing. The heat didn’t only creep up from her neck to her face, but she could also feel it rising in between her legs. She pressed her thighs together in an attempt to get rid of the sensation, but it only intensified from there. The photos were ingrained into her brain, popping up intrusively in her mind. His eyes burning into the writings on the paper, his glasses slightly low on his nose, his jawline unbelievably sharp. Slowly, her hands made their way to rest on her thighs, palms softly grazing against the skin. She ran her hand up and down in a deliberate motion, until one of her hands slithered to the inside of her thigh. It was like she had fallen under a trance because it took her a few seconds before she snapped out of it, hands swiftly retreating from her thighs. She buried herself into her hands even deeper, growing unbelievably flustered and in disbelief of what was going on. Maybe she was just ovulating, because she felt like she wanted Gojo to be in her bed at that exact moment. She tried to argue in her head that it was just the hormones and nothing else. It had been a while since she got laid. She was only a friend to him; he made that clear. The question lingered in her mind once more, as it had been plaguing her ever since he uttered it. Why did she feel so crushed when he said it?

Notes:

my brain got fogged up from furiously typing the argument scene, but it ended with me giggling and kicking my feet when i wrote it HAHAHA. also, the way the manga they were talking about was basically… jjk lmaooo their names are just puns of their actual names. but this was what i meant in the two chapters before, i wanted to draw on the trio’s relationship and how one missing person was greatly affecting all of them, how there was a great bond between the three of them but like many relationships — especially amongst the youth — there were underlying issues that tend to not be addressed. it's not that they secretly harbor disdain for one another or that it wasn't a friendship that was meant to be from the start; it's far from that. it's more on... how simple it seems to lay everything out on the table, but it's actually a difficult principal to practice in reality. i wanted to write about the three’s emotional avoidance regarding the whole falling out. the three of them were reluctant to really confront each other about the situation, and now shoko and geto are trying to pick up the pieces. hope that works out well for them bcs i am not nice to geto in this fic HAAHHAH

but yea, i’d like to think that even in the manga, geto and gojo have great affection for shoko, it’s just that the situation with geto definitely created a rift between gojo and shoko, and created a rift between him and shoko as well. sure geto and gojo had a stronger bond in the trio (a gay ass one at that), but in this story, i wanted to make it more of the trio. she was there too damn, and they looked inseparable. i mean… *spoilers* look at the amount of cigs she smoked when she watched gojo’s fight…

anyways, as usual, hope u guys liked it:D thank u for reading!!!

Chapter 9: why was it you?

Notes:

TW: mentions of CA

Friday, May 26, 2023

“I can’t stop thinking about last night… like… no one, and I mean no one, has ever fucked me like that,” The woman spoke with an alluring tone, an amorous smile tugging on her lips. She leaned closer to his lips as she talked, eyes drifting to his mouth, then back to meet his eyes, “I’m free tomorrow night by the way, Geto.” A sultry smirk formed on his lips, his fingers tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “You can call me later then,” He leaned to her side to whisper it slowly. The woman bit her lip, shyly waving at him as he left. Geto’s smug grin remained plastered on his face as he walked towards the exit, intending to have a smoke. He sighed as the incoming summer heat prickled his skin, making him tug on the collar of his black t-shirt, slightly fanning the fabric to cool the skin underneath. He groaned as he continued to make his way to the Faculty of Sciences and Mathematics.

As usual, there were only a number of students spread around the tables of the cafeteria. He let out a huge sigh of relief as he waited in line to buy a cold drink. After being handed his order, he walked up to the back of the canteen, the spot his white-haired friend had shown him whenever Geto wanted to smoke if he was visiting Gojo there. He decided to smoke there and wait until Gojo finishes class, since they had already planned to hang out with Shoko as well. He stopped in his tracks when he saw someone sitting on the cement bench. Smokers in this faculty were considered a minority, and they would rather go to other canteens to feel more free to get their nicotine intake. He quickly thought of his next steps as the person hadn’t realized his presence yet. His eyes took a quick glance from the top to the bottom. She had sharply layered black, luscious hair that ended right below her shoulders. She donned a blue mini A-line dress that fitted her waist, with ruffled lace straps. Her calf was covered in a black platform heel boots. She was an irregular sight at this faculty, but it intrigued him all the more. Before he could move, she turned her head to him, noticing his presence. When he finally made out her face, something stirred in his chest. She’s insanely… fucking gorgeous, what the fuck.

“Hi, um… wanna sit?” She eyed him with an amused look on her face. He swallowed a nervous gulp, quickly retaining his composure. “Hi, yea sure,” Geto threw her a soft grin before sitting down next to her, close enough to insinuate interest, but leaving just enough gap for her comfort. She eyed him curiously, feeling an odd sense of familiarity. He looked like he would be hard to forget. “Sorry this is weird but… do you happen to be in a band?” She asked as the stranger fished his pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his black baggy jeans. His eyebrows raised in surprise, “Uh, yea… yea I am.” Her eyes widened, as though dots were connecting in her mind. She sat straight up in excitement, adjusting her position on the bench to face him more. “Oh my God! I think I saw your band’s performance last Saturday! You’re… the vocalist for Hollow Echoes, no?” There was a warm, bright grin that formed on her face. He couldn’t help but smile in return.

Nodding his head to confirm, he replied, “Yea, I am, I’m Geto Suguru.” He extended his hand to her as she was taking a puff, making her quickly blow out the smoke to return his handshake. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you, wow it’s, kinda cool meeting you, I really loved your band,” She went on to introduce herself. Geto repeated her name, feeling like it sounded just right coming from his lips. “Thank you, we were really nervous, it was our first performance there,” He replied, feeling excited that their band earned a new listener. She inhaled her cigarette, blowing the smoke to the side. Geto swore that he had never seen something so attractive. “You guys didn’t sound nervous at all though, and I think you earned a lot of new fans that night,” She added as her smile grew bigger, pearly whites visible, “I talked to a few people who are like… frequent goers of the local band performances in Kurogami, like me, they usually come to watch ‘The Fallouts’ and ‘Rizumu Pulse’... and they were… completely blown away by you guys! The lyrics, the instrumentals, the guitar, oh my God the guitar!” Geto found her excitement to be incredibly adorable, interested to prod further regarding her interest in music; metal music at that. “Ah, that’s really nice to hear, you’re really brushing my ego here,” Geto joked, his sultry voice making her faintly blush, “But, ‘The Fallouts’ and ‘Rizumu Pulse’? You have immaculate taste.”

Just when he thought she couldn’t get brighter, her eyes lit up even more. “That’s… ah, that’s really cool that you like them too, I mean, it’s a bit unsurprising since the music that your band makes is just, really good,” She blabbered on, slightly fearing that she was talking too much, but Geto was staring deeply into her eyes. He was nodding to everything that she had said, intently listening as his chin rested on his palm, arm was propped up on his thigh. He was undeniably handsome. There was a certain softness in some of his features, and it was hard to deny just how painfully pretty he was at the same time. His delicate yet piercing gaze was starting to make her nervous, but she attempted to remain composed. “Thank you, thank you, this… really made my day,” Geto spoke as he leaned in slightly closer, making her eyes almost pop out for a second, “It feels really nice when I get to meet a fellow metalhead, a gorgeous one even.” She froze in place, not a finger moving. It felt like the world was silent for a few seconds until she broke out in a cackle. “That’s… annoying as hell, but thank you, I guess,” She replied whilst still snickering, earning a chuckle from him. “Corny, huh?” He joked in return whilst slightly tilting his head. He knew it was, but he also knew where he was going with it.

It was corny for her, but it didn’t fail to make her cheeks heat up. It didn’t help that he still remained at his position; incredibly close and eyes gazing into hers. “Don’t tell me you use that line often,” She continued to giggle, putting out her dying cigarette with the soles of her boots. Geto shrugged playfully, “Sorry, it’s hard not to say it when it’s the truth.” She jokingly scoffed whilst Geto maintained his seemingly innocent smile. “Sure Geto… Geto, wasn’t it? Yea, I guess I know the answer, which is often,” She playfully rolled her eyes at him, earning a soft chuckle from the raven-haired man. Geto inched closer, curious whether he could try his luck. “Okay, I promise I’m not that corny, I just wanted to make you laugh, and you’ve got a great laugh,” His gaze lingered to her dark-red glossy lips before drifting back to her eyes, “It’s a sound that I’ll gladly hear over and over again.” And that was when she lost her feigned composure; furiously blushing at his words. She playfully slapped his shoulder whilst laughing with an evident fluster. “Wow… so you’re saying that your compliment wasn’t genuine?” She quipped back with giggles, trying to deflect his flirting due to how flustered she was. It earned her a huffed out smirk. “I never said that,” Geto simply replied, the smug grin still plastered on his face, “And honestly? I like your vibe, you’re sharp… funny… probably insanely smart… cute… too cute even… and you make teasing… way too fun.”

She attempted to swallow her nerves, but the lump didn’t seem to go away. She felt like she couldn’t escape this man’s overwhelmingly swallowing gaze, velvety voice, and charms. Though she wasn’t backing down, especially considering how Geto sounded and looked like he could manipulate his way into her bed. Despite how good he would probably look laying there. “And what the hell makes you think that I’m smart?” She questioned, trying to evade his tactics once more. “You’re a student in this faculty, no? If you are, you most probably are… let me guess… molecular biology?” Geto’s lavender eyes were burning into hers, making it harder for her to not squirm under it. “Yes, I am a student here but… you guessed wrong,” She replied, trying to muster up all her courage to sit straight up and stare right back at him, “Astrophysics.” Geto’s eyes shot up. The more he thought about it, the more he talked to her, the more he took note of the little things, the more she sounded like the girl Gojo described; the girl he had been fawning over. 

From time to time, Gojo would give small updates to him and Shoko regarding what he found out about this person. It was information he gathered from overhearing gossip about her, as she was often a topic of conversation amongst her peers and the higher batches apparently. It was noticing the little things whenever Gojo would see her in the halls, in the canteen; particularly smoking behind it. Gojo also poked around Yaga “nonchalantly” to get more valid information, confirming what he had learned from the students. She was in the same major as him, a second year Astrophysics undergraduate. She had a peculiar style of dressing in comparison to the students in the faculty. Her grades were highly praised by students and professors. She recently won a project competition amongst her batch, where she built a low-cost radio telescope to repurpose satellite dish data and mapping the Milky Way structure, or something like that. Information that Gojo would spew out regarding his studies would usually kind of go one ear out the other for him and Shoko, not being able to comprehend what he was saying. Though that small fact about her win was ingrained in his brain. Most of all, Gojo would not stop repeating just how bewitchingly beautiful and highly intelligent she was. Like her name, she was like a sun to many people; bright, warm, and burning with passion. Though there was one thing Geto noted; Gojo’s reluctance to tell him her name. He would make excuses about still not learning about it, finding out and then forgetting; excuses Geto found hard to believe. It was a small possibility, considering how Gojo had never actually interacted directly with her, but Geto was sure his friend knew, and kept it from them for a reason. Geto was certain as to why this was the case, smirking at the realization. 

“Let me guess, you’re in your second year?” Geto questioned with a smug grin, making her eyes widen in surprise and confusion. She scoffed in disbelief, slightly leaning her head back, “Yea… how did you…?” Geto let out a soft chuckle, the sound low and warm. She had noticed how there was something smooth in his voice; something that made the edges of his words and laugh sound inviting. “What if I told you I’m just that good at reading people?” He took a puff of his cigarette after speaking. Her eyes followed his movement, feeling like she was being enchanted by a snake’s graceful motions. “Well, I’ll tell you that… that’s bullshit,” She let out a small giggle, earning a short chuckle from him, “Do you happen to have a friend here? From our conversation, I can gather that you’re from a different faculty, and I’ve never seen you around as well.” Geto nodded gently, putting out his dying cigarette. He leaned back, his arm rested on the back of the cement bench, wide open right behind her. She couldn’t help but found herself slightly leaning into him as he moved back; an unconscious push and pull. Maybe he wasn’t the reptile, but the snake charmer itself. “Good guess… and you’re correct on both,” Geto responded, never breaking eye-contact, “My friend’s in his third-year, really smart dude, you probably know him… and I’m a Painting student.” She hummed, assuming that his friend might know her, hence the precise guesses. “Painting, huh? I mean, you do look like a Visual Arts student, and you’re in a band too,” She uttered with a knowing smile, “What’s your friend’s name?” Geto tilted his head, smirking at the question. If Gojo can keep things about her from him, so could he. “I’m gonna let you guess, but I’m not gonna confirm your answer,” He replied, licking his bottom lip. She scrunched her nose in amusement, “Well, that’s unfair.” Geto huffed out a smile, “Maybe, but maybe I just like how cute you look when you get lost in your head.” She groaned even though the blush crept to her face once more. “Hm… from your description, I can think of a certain someone in my head… there are lots of smart students here, whether they’re my peers or in their third year, so that’s pretty hard to guess… but if you’re talking about… otherworldly smart then… let me guess, it’s Go-”

Her phone rang and vibrated from her back, alerting both of their bodies, slightly jolting from the sudden blast of the sound. Her eyes ran to her bag, fishing out her phone quickly, “Sorry, let me get this… I think it’s my friend since I’ve been waiting for her here.” Geto motioned for her to go ahead, nodding in understanding. He thanked silently whoever called her, knowing exactly the name she was going to utter from her lips. She accepted the call, putting her phone against her ear, “Nobara hi, I’m at the usual spot… uhuh… ah, okay, I see… alright, I’ll go there and help you out, give me a minute… okay, see you babes.” She hung up the phone, settling the device back in her bag. From the phone call, he assumed that she needed to leave, making him faintly pout. He didn’t want their conversation to end. “So… I have to go, I was waiting on her to finish up the forms for moving dorms, but apparently she’s having trouble with it, so I’m gonna go to her to help,” She explained as she tidied up her things back into her bag. Geto nodded, hiding the small disappointment surfacing in his chest. “That’s alright, I hope your friend can get it sorted out.” As she stood up, Geto followed along. She had been shutting down his flirtations, but he could sense that the attraction was reciprocated. Her blushes, her flustered giggles. Or maybe I’m fucking delusional. She was out of his league after all, but he could keep trying his luck.

“I… had a nice time talking to you, and I’m sorry for being so forward, I just can’t help it since, I don’t know, talking to gorgeous women makes me kinda nervous, and apparently it makes me corny as hell out of nowhere too,” Geto casually shrugged, admitting shyness whilst remaining completely composed. She knew he was lying through his teeth, and it frustrated her just how believable he sounded; just completely sly and charming. “From how you… move, I know that you’re used to this, but I’ll accept the compliment either way,” She joked, rolling her eyes playfully. Geto chuckled. She really was quick-witted. “Well, can you blame a guy for trying to act cool?” Geto bantered back with an amused smile, fishing out his phone from his pocket, “But I hope you’ll believe that I’m just telling the truth, despite how cheesy it sounded, but yea… I’d love to see you again, whatever kind of hangout it is, even if it’s just us at the cafeteria talking about metal.” She raised an eyebrow whilst throwing him a grin. He was incredibly cute. Insanely, frustratingly attractive. The way the front pieces of his hair fell effortlessly in front of his eyes, while the rest was tied up in a bun. She wondered how long his hair was, what it would feel like when her fingers cascade down the black strands. She blinked, trying to internally push away the thoughts. She knew it was probably a bad idea to hang around him, considering how magnetic he was, but she couldn’t help but want to give him a chance. What’s wrong with being friends? He seems pretty chill, and we seem to connect. “Well, why not? That does sound nice,” She took his phone that he handed, typing in her number. As she returned it to him, she waved him goodbye, “I guess I’ll see you around, Geto.” Despite looking calm, his heart was beating so loudly that it felt like the flutters in his stomach were from the vibration of it. In the end, he understood completely why Gojo was so infatuated with her. “Suguru… you can call me Suguru instead, Geto sounds so formal,” He uttered as he pocketed his hands, watching her stop in her tracks when he spoke. “Alright, I’ll… see you around… Suguru.”

The sound of his name from her lips made his chest drop down to his guts. He watched as she disappeared into the distance, sighing once she was out of sight. Long gone was the Photography student that had approached him moments ago from his mind. He took out another cigarette, lighting the ends with the flame from his lighter. Inhaling deeply, he sat down once more, mulling over the whole interaction. Though it was short, Geto couldn’t help but swoon. There was something about her that made his chest stir, his guts warm with an unfamiliar sensation. What were the chances that he would meet her? He couldn’t believe that he rarely visited the faculty. If he knew, he would’ve been hanging out there more often. He would be able to meet her before Gojo ever even saw the sight of her. Geto clicked his tongue, contemplating whether to tell his white-haired friend about the encounter. But why would he? Gojo kept his mouth shut about her name. Geto scoffed, feeling hurt at the insinuation. Did he think Geto couldn’t keep it in his pants over someone Gojo was crushing over? Just what did Gojo think of him? Then he thought of the incident during their first year. But that was a drunken mistake. Geto would never repeat that, nor would he ever let Gojo know. “Hey! Sorry I kept you waiting, a second year was asking me for some advice on their project for final semester exams.”

Geto turned his head to the right, greeted by the sight of Gojo standing beside the cement bench, a lopsided smile gracing his lips. Geto feigned a warm grin, trying to brush away his earlier thoughts. “It’s fine Satoru,” Geto replied as he stood up, an idea suddenly popping in his head, “Something interesting happened though whilst you were taking care of that.” Gojo raised an eyebrow, adjusting his glasses that were sitting low on his nose bridge. “Oh? What happened?” He questioned as he walked alongside Geto, heading towards the faculty’s parking lot. “Let’s just say, the world is small after all,” Geto answered vaguely before completely changing the topic, “Anyways, ramen or tonkatsu for tonight? Shoko asked me earlier.” Gojo scrunched his nose. He scoffed, teasing Geto, “Come on, spill you asshole.” Geto chuckled, finding the situation to be incredibly amusing. He stayed silent for a few seconds and then uttered her name slowly. Gojo froze in place, eyes widening for a brief moment. Geto immediately caught his reaction, smirking to himself. “Sound familiar?” Geto queried cattily, eyes piercing into Gojo’s. The taller man avoided his gaze, swallowing nervously before attempting to remain composed. “Never heard of that name before… what’s up? New girl you’re pursuing?” Gojo replied, trying to sound as stoic as possible. Geto’s smirk only grew at Gojo’s reactions, “You sure? Doesn’t ring a bell at all?” Geto questioned once more, silently giving a chance for his friend to finally come clean. Gojo hummed as though in thought before shaking his head; still not looking into Geto’s eyes. Geto tongued his cheek, humming in response.

“I think that’s the girl you’ve been on and on about,” Geto spoke, watching how Gojo’s shoulders flinched, “I came to the cements and there she was, smoking… she looked exactly like you described her to be.” Gojo finally looked at him, eyes frantic and lips pressed into a tight line. It took a few seconds before Gojo returned his gaze to the pavement ahead. “Ha… yea, I was pretty specific wasn’t I?” Gojo spoke, a slight strain in his voice. Clearing his throat, Gojo added, “So… what… um, what do you think of her? Did you talk to her?” Geto’s smug grin resurfaced in his lips, taking a moment before shaking his head. “Nope, we just stayed silent as we smoked, saying one or two things about the weather,” Geto lied, his casual tone fooling Gojo. The taller man usually knew when his friend was lying, despite how good Geto was at it. Maybe there was some sort of an unconscious slip, a gap that Geto had always left for Gojo to know. Maybe that was why Gojo always knew, but this time, Geto left no room for mistakes. “She seems nice by the way… seems like your type so far,” Geto teased, having too much fun tricking his friend. Gojo chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck, “That kinda means she’s your type too, no? But yea, I… still haven’t gotten the courage to talk to her… even though… now that I know her, it seems like we keep crossing paths, literally… but still, I can’t… come up to her, I don’t know why.” Geto patted Gojo’s back, slinging an arm around his shoulders, “It’s alright, the time will come… sorry I beat you to it, buddy.” Geto’s smirk kept growing, almost feeling tired as his lips kept curving during the conversation. Gojo laughed brightly, this time no longer nervous.

---

“The guy who’s the vocalist in Hollow Echoes? Oh damn… yea, he was pretty as fuck,” Nobara uttered, making her laugh with a flushed face. “I know right… tried so hard to not seem like I was shitting my pants when I was talking to him,” She revealed, earning a cackle from Nobara. The short-haired woman wrapped an arm over her shoulder, tugging her head closer, “You weirdo, you literally have people at your feet and you’re nervous over some long-haired emo guy?” She laughed loudly, their banter earning glances from people passing in the hallway. She lowered her gaze, feeling shy at Nobara’s words, “Oh come on, no they don’t, and God, Nobara! He was even more gorgeous up close! He kept throwing these corny lines on purpose and then… he fucking hits you with what he wanted to say all along… it was annoying as fuck because it got to me.” Nobara’s laughter grew in volume, patting her head before letting it fall on her shoulders again. They passed through the exit and made their way to the faculty’s bus stop. “You gotta hang out with him again, but wait… be careful… I think I need to dig a few infos before giving you the go signal,” Nobara’s tone suddenly turned slightly serious, making her eyebrows knit in amusement. She giggled as Nobara’s eyes widened, “You can’t trust a guy who’s that pretty, and good with his words too… he must have a closet full of skeletons, and by skeletons, I mean girls.” She rolled her eyes playfully before laughing. Nobara was probably right. He was too smooth with everything he did; too nonchalantly confident. She really had to be careful.

“Anyways, enough about Geto… we’re still going to that new bookstore right? I really want to buy the latest volume of-” Nobara cut her off with a palm in front of her face. “Yes we are babes, no worries, I’m gonna stop you there because I don’t want to hear anymore about how tantalizingly delicious Kenshō's abs are in the newest chapter release,” Nobara playfully teased her, earning a flustered laugh from her. Her mouth hung open, pretending to be offended, “Shut up! It is! But that’s not the point! It’s how fucking amazing the current arc is, is what of course got to me… how Shoji’s skills developed is written so beautifully.” Nobara smiled widely at her friend, admiring how she was geeking out over her favorite manga. “I know, I remember you fucking bawled your eyes out at that one chapter,” Nobara uttered with a dramatic sigh. She giggled at Nobara’s constant teasing. Her short-haired friend had been a constant in her life since twelfth grade, her seatmate throughout the year. The first few days of the new class year, she thought Nobara hated her. The girl was crass with her words most of the time, incredibly straightforward. Meanwhile, Nobara found her to be intimidating. Students fawned over her, finding ways to talk to her, blushing when she replied. Nobara would catch them gossiping about her. It was either an abundance of compliments or feeling jealous over her. After weeks of slowly getting to know each other, they gradually got closer and started to get over their initial prejudice towards one another. They laughed over their opinions of the other when they finally admitted them.

Other than Megumi, Nobara was her closest friend. Despite her popularity throughout primary school, she didn’t have many close friends. People were either too intimidated to get close to her, or they simply maintained a more casual friendship with her. She didn’t really mind, finding it slightly hard to open up to people, but noticing just how easy it was for the doors to creak open whenever she felt a strong connection. That was exactly what happened with Nobara. One month into the friendship, Nobara invited her for sleepovers, invited her for hangouts in Nobara’s house after school hours, going to the arcade, movies, or small concerts on the weekends. When she didn’t have the money for their weekend activities, Nobara gladly paid. Though the financial state of her family had gotten better during her time in high school, they still had to be more disciplined and tight regarding money. Being quite well-off, Nobara didn’t mind one bit to spend her money on her. “What’s the point of having money if I can’t spend it on my loved ones?” Nobara would always assure her whenever she declined the offer. Nobara knew her situation deeply, down to the abuse she had to go through. Nobara sighed a huge relief during their first day of university; feeling glad that her friend was far away from her overbearing and violent mother. 

Nobara was there through it all. The attempts, the breakdowns, whenever she ran away from home after a brutal beating from her mother. Nobara and Megumi were the first to be called by the hospital a few days before graduation. Her mother had found out that her scholarship — funded by a private foundation that scouted her since eleventh grade — gave her an apartment for the full duration of her undergraduate enrollment as part of the scholarship program’s benefits. Finding out and feeling hurt that she accepted the offer instead of commuting back home everyday, she received a vicious beating. Megumi and Nobara drifted swiftly to the hospital, keeping her company for the two days of hospitalization. Ever since she found out about her friend’s abusive relationship with her mother, Nobara offered for her to stay at her house permanently. She declined, not wanting to burden Nobara and her family. Nobara always reassured her that her family would be happy to accept her into their home, but she always rejected the offer. 

Nobara was next-door neighbors with Choso. The man was head over heels for her, and Nobara noticed it. Slightly too shy to make the first move, Nobara helped introduce her to him, and the rest was history. That was why when Choso ended the relationship, Nobara was the first to know, and the first to throw a rampage over it. She had only revealed the break up one month after he had settled in his new office, knowing what Nobara would do. Unbeknownst to her, Nobara berated him in a phone call during his work hours. It angered her even more when Choso told him that he already found someone else in the new city, something he kept quite on purpose. Not a peep on social media, not a word to his closest friends. Choso admitted that he was still madly in love with her, but felt hopeless at the situation. He didn’t deserve her. She deserved someone who’ll fight through whatever hoops that got in their way. Choso made Nobara promise not to tell her until she was ready.

Aside from Megumi, Nobara was the closest person she had in her life. Her friend knew almost everything about her, things Megumi didn’t even know. The crush she had on Megumi when they first started getting to know each other, the unopened letter her father had left her, the sketchbook she had that was littered with pictures of her loved ones, her dislike for black and white foreign movies with extremely long pacing that she sits through only for Megumi, and many little things that Nobara felt like was a privilege to witness and learn; especially when she saw the sketches of her own face in that book. She loved Nobara dearly, seeing her not only as a best friend, but as a sister. That was why as happy as she was, it also devastated her on the other hand that Nobara had to leave for their third year for field work in the countryside that became a part of her major’s condition to graduate. Botany students only needed one semester for that field work course, but after going through her own investigation of the rural area where she would be placed, Nobara came up with a grand plan. Nobara was so sure it wouldn’t get approved by the faculty, but she was determined to push through.

Nobara had learned of the geothermal operations near the small village, falling into a rabbit hole of the ecological disaster that had befallen the area. The locals’ farmlands were destroyed, lands left degraded due to the toxic chemicals from the waste seeping into the ground. Their water supplies contaminated, their harvests failing. The situation had angered Nobara greatly, which ended up with her writing a proposal to take an extra semester to further gather qualitative and quantitative data for her thesis. It would mean that Nobara had to graduate in four and a half years, but she didn’t care. She needed to help the villagers to voice their situation. It was a surge of passion regarding her studies that Nobara felt had been missing. Nobara was slowly losing that flame as her studies in university went on, and this had provided her the motivation that she once felt. Being Nobara’s number one supporter, she secretly helped convince professors like Yaga who were in the council for Nobara’s case. It was a controversial move, as one of the university’s biggest donors was the company that operated there. It surprised them both when the proposal actually got approved. Putting aside how she’ll dearly miss her friend, she was ecstatic for Nobara’s trip; unbelievably proud of her friend’s accomplishment and unstoppable rebelliousness. 

“Man, I’ll miss you,” She suddenly spoke, making Nobara swivel her head to face her, “We need a going away party… I’ll call up Megumi.” Nobara chuckled, appreciating her friend’s idea. “Aw come on, it’s only a year,” Nobara waved a hand to dismiss her, feigning nonchalance but failing to hide her excitement. “Girl… it’s… a year! Are you kidding me?” She loudly retorted, earning a cackle from Nobara. She scoffed, playfully rolling her eyes, “So, no party then?” Nobara dramatically gasped, smacking her friend’s shoulder. “I never said that,” Nobara pursed her lips in disappointment, which she responded to with a giggle. There was no way Nobara would miss a party, especially one thrown for her. “Drinks at my apartment and then a sleepover?” She offered excitedly. Nobara nodded with thrill, cheering as they continued to talk about plans for their party. She loved hosting her friends at her place. It was also one of the small things she could do in return, as Megumi and Nobara constantly provided her shelter when she was still back at home. Now that she had more freedom, now that she had her own place, she would offer to hangout at her apartment whenever they had plans to meet up until late at night. Megumi and Nobara always gladly accepted the offer, finding more comfort in her apartment rather than their own place. She had a way of making people feel welcomed and decorated her place in a way that would always remind people of a home. The trinkets spread all over the apartment that gave it a soul, the wooden and wicker furnitures, the sage green splattered on her walls and cushions, the posters plastered on the walls, the cottage-like kitchen and its appliances. Having her own place was a chance for her to mold it into something she had always craved; a comfortable home. It was also a plus point that her apartment was the nicest out of all their respective dorms, as the foundation that funded her scholarship was an incredibly generous one. It was an international foundation after all.

Her phone buzzed from her sling back, making her stop on her heels. She took it out of her bag, briefly scrunching in confusion at the message notification from an unknown number before it hit her. As her eyes widened in realization, she repeatedly patted Nobara’s back with strength and excitement. “Ow! What!?” Nobara feigned pain, bewildered at her friend’s sudden reactions. “He texted me, oh my God!” She spoke as she stared widely into Nobara’s eyes. Nobara’s mouth hung open, urging her to open the message.

Unknown

26/05/23

14:38

‘Hey, it’s Suguru’

‘Just wanna say thank you again, it was really nice meeting you’

‘I was wondering if you’re free on Sunday’

‘There’s an art showcase in my faculty’

‘I think you might like it, I can pick you up and we can go there together’

She covered her mouth, surprised at how quickly he texted and invited her to meet up. Nobara’s eyes widened, eyebrows knitted in shock. “An art showcase? The two of you are gonna see paintings and shit, together!?” Nobara spoke so loudly that it sounded like she was announcing it out into the open air, “That’s… oh wow, kinda romantic… but! Still! Be careful.” Nobara’s warning made her faintly pout. Her friend was right. “You think I shouldn’t go? What do you think I should say?” She bit her lip as her nerves spiked, wondering if it was a good idea to go. He seemed like he would be a good friend, finding an instant connection with the man. On the other hand, the enchantment Geto had easily put her under made her want to retreat. She really shouldn’t fall for someone who’s clearly a flirtatious charmer. “That’s up to you babes… I mean, as romantic as it sounds, it could turn into a friend thing, no? It’s a faculty showcase after all, and it is a safe option I think,” Nobara gave her opinion on the situation, “And I think it’s a… an okay sign that he didn’t invite you out late at night at a bar or something… but if he does anything weird, tell me… I won’t hesitate to beat the hell out of him.” She chuckled in response, agreeing with the analysis. Sighing, she thought for a few more seconds before typing out the words. She hoped that she made the right decision.

26/05/23

14:40

‘Hi, it was nice to talk to you as well’

‘That sounds nice, I’m down to go’

‘I’ll meet u in campus, there’s no need to

pick me up’

‘See you Sunday Suguru:)’

Notes:

i think i'm gonna start editing the format for texts, so that it goes left and right kind of like how texts are. and i'm gonna edit the rest of the already uploaded chapters so that the format is the same.

anyways oooo we're finally finding out a little more about the trio's friendship back then and it's getting... interesting HAHAHAHh geto is sooo fucked. tho i found their meeting and interaction kinda cute:P

anyways, hope you guys liked it. sorry for the uh, explicit dialogue at the start of the chapter... again... HAHA thank u for reading!

Chapter 10: look how far you came

Notes:

my apologies for the error in the last upload. i wasn't sure why chapter 9 was uploaded twice. but here is the tenth chapter!

hope you'll enjoy:D

Saturday, March 23, 2024

“I can’t believe you’re only telling me this now… I told you to immediately tell me whenever things started to feel off,” Nobara sighed on the line, clicking her tongue. She bit her lip, nerves spiking up. She had dreaded this phone call for months, never having the courage to confide in Nobara on their weekly phone call. She also didn’t want to burden her friend, who was not only busy with her research, but Nobara’s presence and initiatives there had been a threat to the geothermal operation. The short-haired woman had received verbal threats and intimidation tactics. Though Nobara had it under control, she feared that she would add it to her friend’s plate. “I’m so sorry babes… I just… didn’t want to make you worry… I feel so much better now, so… yea!” She attempted to reassure her friend. Nobara sighed once more into the phone, sounding dramatic, “There’s no need to be sorry sweety, I get it, but please… I want to know how you’re really doing, I wanna hear about you, I want to be there for you, despite the distance.” She huffed out a quiet breath, pressing her lips into a tight line. “I know… I’m sorry again… I’ll… update you more on my life,” She let out a short, small chuckle, earning a soft laugh from Nobara on the other line. “Thank you… that wasn’t so bad, wasn’t it? Confiding in your best friend?” Nobara teased, earning a playful groan from her. “Yea, yea you’re right, you always are,” She chuckled lightly in response. 

“So… you haven’t been talking to Geto for how long now?” Nobara went back to the topic discussed earlier, making her sigh. Her eyes drifted towards the ceiling, trying to think of the last time she talked to the man. It was then she realized that she hadn’t even seen the sight of him around campus. They were in different faculties, their buildings not exactly close to each other. Geto also didn’t have much reason anymore to visit her faculty, considering their situation and the fact that he was no longer in contact with Gojo. “I’m not sure… weeks maybe? I mean, it’s for the best, no? I’ve been processing a lot of things in the meantime… things that go back to Choso too, so it’s been doing a lot of good for me, I think,” She sounded slightly unsure, something that Nobara caught on, “Why are you doubting yourself?” She tongued her cheek. Nobara always reads her well. “Um… I don’t know… maybe… ugh, I don’t know, it feels like I… there’s like this lump in my chest that keeps bothering me, I can’t pinpoint what it is exactly but it’s been gnawing at me,” She admitted, feeling restless over the predicament. Nobara hummed, staying quiet for a few seconds. “Could it be, that… you need to talk to him?” Nobara prodded around, “I know keeping distance from him has been helpful, and it usually is, and I’m super glad that you did! I know that must’ve not been easy… but you guys left things kind of… messily? There were so many unaddressed things, especially from his side.” She hummed as she registered Nobara’s words. Their last phone call was just petty comments thrown around, and what happened in front of Kuragami Bar was just her laying out her side. There wasn’t exactly a conversation that happened, discussing the situation they were both in. Maybe that was what had been bothering her.

“I guess… there’s truth to that,” She said with a sigh, taking a cigarette out of her pack and lighting it, “But… what if I see him again and… and I fall back again? To the same fucking hole that took everything in me to crawl out of?” Nobara chuckled softly, earning a groan from her. “You’re strong, stronger than most people… hate to remind you of this but you went through hell, and you’re still here, and I thank you… for still surviving,” Nobara began, making her heart sink. It wasn’t an odd feeling that settled over her, but it wasn’t exactly an uncomfortable one. “My point is, you went through a goddamn lot… and I know, I know you know, that you’ll be able to push through it just fine,” Nobara continued, her voice becoming gentler the seconds passed. Nobara cleared her throat, aware of the lump in her throat and glassy eyes. “You don’t have to talk to him now, or tomorrow, just do it when you feel like… it’s right… girl I hate the thought of you seeing him again but… I think it must be done, you guys need to talk through it, lay it all out on the table,” Nobara said with a sigh, “Show him that unlike him, you don’t ghost people when you feel like they no longer serve you! And… he also used to be your friend… I’m sure that there’s a part of you that wants to address that situation too.” She hummed, taking in Nobara’s words. She clicked her tongue, “I hate when you’re making sense, but yea… I think you are right though, I do think that… that is what’s been bothering me.” Nobara chuckled, smiling into the phone. “Of course I’m right, I’m always right,” Nobara joked, making her giggle as she tapped her cigarette on the ashtray.

Inhaling the smoke deeply, she slowly released it from her lungs through her nose. Sighing, she spoke, “Thank you for… listening to me… I’m so sorry again that it took me so long to tell you… and I’m sorry you had to listen to that for like… two hours.” Nobara chuckled once more, the sound bright and warm in her ears. “Again, please… no need to be sorry, I’m glad you told me,” Nobara replied. The phone call ended with Nobara wishing her luck and the both of them scheduling another phone call next week. Hanging up her phone, she placed her phone on the couch next to her crossed legs. Clicking her tongue, she eyed the time on her phone. 10:19. She planned to study until late afternoon and spend the night enjoying her down time, but after the phone call, she decided she needed to reschedule for the down time. Tomorrow’s a Sunday anyway. She sat still as smoke emanated from the tip of her cigarette. Gazing at the opened window, memories of Geto flashed in her mind. The happy moments. The both of them laughing on the couch after watching some rom-com, or cuddled in as they were locked on to the tension of the horror movie playing from the screen. Deep conversations until late at night despite their tired eyes and exhausted bodies. Geto sharing his new music with her, listening intently to her opinions and critiques. Both of them silently enjoying each other’s company as they studied their respective materials. All of it felt so distant that it started to feel unfamiliar. She couldn’t really feel that sense of longing, that craving for his presence that usually weighed heavily in her mind. She wondered what had shifted. It wasn’t a rare occasion for Geto to be leaving her alone for days on end, but she remembered the dread that would plague her during those times; the depression that followed. She would cry in her bed or curl up into a ball; staying silent as all the hurt came crashing down. Sighing heavily, she got up from the couch. She needed to set things straight.

---

She realized that she can be slightly impulsive at times, because there she was sitting on Geto’s couch. He had welcomed her in with shock, mouth agape at her standing in the front entrance of his apartment. She seemed to look brighter, making him wince at his own state. There hadn’t been much difference since she last saw her, it only had been weeks after all; gruelling days of drinking, abandoning his university responsibilities, and getting lost in his own head. Despite that, it looked like there was a spark in her eyes that he used to easily spot from across the room. A gleam he had missed. He wondered if he had taken it from her during their relationship. She picked on her fingernails as she silently watched him. He looked different. The circles around his eyes became darker, his eyebags deeper. His cheeks looked more sunken in. Geto was wearing a baggy long sleeve, hiding his thinning figure. It looked like he lost quite an amount of weight, making her eyes twitch at the realization. He had put down his hair, a rare sight. He rarely keeps it untied, unless they were cuddled in bed after a heated session of their bodies intertwining. Not only that, but they were slightly dishevelled; strands protruding. She doubted that she was largely the reason behind it. He never really cared about her to that extent, at least not anymore. It couldn’t be, right?

She cleared her throat, awkwardly adjusting her body on the couch. Angling herself to face him, she started to speak, “Thank you for… wanting to see me… sorry I dropped by out of nowhere.” Geto blinked slowly, as though trying to register her words. He swallowed a nervous gulp, “Yea, I… of course I want to see you, I… haven’t seen you in… such a long time.” She faintly raised an eyebrow. That was his way of saying he missed her. He’d done this way too many times for her to not know. “Is it so hard to say you miss me?” She joked, attempting to lighten the tension lingering in the air. He let out a dry chuckle, reaching a hand out to tuck a strand behind her ear. It paused mid-way, as though he was in doubt whether to continue, but his fingers ended up finding her hair in the end. “I know, sorry I… I’ve missed you… a lot, it’s… it hasn’t been great to be honest… without you around,” Geto admitted, taking his time as though it took all his might to just utter it. She froze in place at his words and movements. It was easy for him to admit that he had missed her, but only when he needed to get her to bed. A faint frown formed on her lips. “Why is it so hard for you to talk to me?” She questioned calmly, but disappointment was evident in her face, “Why do you have to… dance around with your words… to just admit that you missed me? To say that you want me to be around?” 

Geto carefully dropped his hand, laying on the backrest of the couch, hovering near her shoulder. He looked off to the floor, avoiding her gaze that was attempting to search his eyes. “I’m sorry I’ve been… shitty towards you, and I think that’s an understatement as well… I’m sorry I haven’t been treating you the way you should be,” He admitted, pressing his lips into a tight line after he spoke. Though she appreciated it, she didn’t come for an apology. “Suguru… I’ve loved you for a long time… I know you know that, I know you know just how deeply and stupidly I loved you,” She began, holding out a hand to cup his chin. He flinched in surprise before quickly melting into her touch. “You knew, you fucking knew I can’t do casual, I can’t do this… friends hooking up thing… you knew it already because I told you, we talked about this when it hadn’t even started yet… you knew, yet you still initiated things and… gave me just that,” She spoke, her voice slightly strained from the lump in her throat, “I stayed, I accepted whatever you could give me despite giving you my all, because I craved for your love… I would do anything to get just a sliver of your affection and attention… I stayed because I stupidly thought that… you actually felt the same way… the look that you had when it would just be us, the words you spoke, the small, gentle touches… I thought that maybe it was there… I stayed, and I stayed, and I stayed, hoping that one day you’ll admit to yourself and to me that you do love me.” Her hands fell to her lap, gripping the hem of her skirt. She sighed as she looked down, watching as her knuckle turned whiter at the tight grip. “But I deluded myself into thinking that… deep down, I’ve always known that you didn’t care for me that way, that you just didn’t love me that way… it was obvious from the way you treated me,” She continued, eyes becoming glassier by the passing second, “You shower me with such beautiful words, we fuck and then you leave… you would leave for days, not a word, not a text, not a phone call… I’m left in bed, feeling used because… you used me to satisfy whatever it is that you needed to be satisfied… I’m left with my own self-deprecating thoughts… I’m not good enough, I’m not lovable enough, I’m not worth sticking around for.” 

Geto’s breath hitched. There was an ache that slowly festered from his chest to all parts of his body. Pain, guilt, regret, and something he couldn’t quite name. He stayed silent, giving her the time to let it all out. “That last part is not at all fully your fault, I do admit that I fell to my own self-deprecation… it’s thoughts that had always been there, but you… you were my friend, and you decided to treat me like I wasn’t… like I was just an object for you to use, to fuck, to fulfill your needs, you made those feelings and thoughts worse,” She continued, a tear slowly coming down from her ducts, “You fucked other girls, blatantly flirt when them in front of me, and I have to act fine in front of everyone because you made me promise you to keep this a secret… and slowly, I start to admit to myself that… you just never gave a shit about me that way… and it was pointless of me to stay because of that.” Her fists were balled up, more tears flowing down her cheeks. She inhaled a deep, shaky breath, gathering all her courage to push through the conversation. “Not only did I stupidly stay despite your treatment, but I slowly realized that me continuing to stay… it was me hurting myself… it was me letting you constantly step over me… me letting you hurt me again, and again, and again, and I… I don’t want to go through that anymore,” Her tone grew firmer on each word. All of the anger that had piled up over the months was slowly slipping out, ‘I don’t deserve any of this treatment, I deserve so… so much better than this… the cut was too deep… you fucked me up Suguru, you really did.”

She let out a long breath, shaky at the edges. Geto sat still, unmoving. He didn’t even know if he was breathing anymore. He had known how it affected her, he had known how much pain she was in. What he didn’t expect was for her to finally, and actually end it. Panic was drawn in his eyes, growing glassy each passing second. Words couldn’t escape from his throat despite the desperation for it to crawl out. He wanted to speak but he couldn’t. He had to do something. His hand reached out to hold hers, while the other cupped her cheek. She flinched under his touch. He could feel her leaning away slightly before carefully settling under his touch. There was a pang that crossed his chest at her reaction. “Hey, please… we can talk this out… please,” Geto stammered, his lips trembling, “Please, I’m so sorry… I’m sorry for putting you through all of that… you can slap me, you can curse at me all you want, let it out but please… let’s talk this out… I’m sorry baby… please.” Her eyes widened for a brief second before her eyebrows faintly turned inwards. “Me slapping you is not gonna make me feel that much better in the end,” She lightly chuckled before taking a deep breath, “But we are talking it out… I’m giving you a chance to talk too you know, to explain… so, go ahead.” Geto didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know if what was going through his head, the things he wanted to say, would make her stay. He knew that if he opened his mouth, she'd want to get up and run, but staying quiet won’t exactly make her stay either. 

So he did what he knew best. He leaned in, lips hovering over hers. “I know… I know you’re gonna go… but I promise I’ll be better… I’ll fix this, I’ll do anything… please,” Geto uttered, his breath shaky, his eyes frantic. She smiled apologetically, watching the panic settle in his gaze. “You’ve made similar promises before… what makes it different this time?” She whispered, her voice gentler than before, and it made Geto’s chest start to heave. She was too calm for this, and it sent another wave of dread within him. “No, I promise, I’ll be good… I’ll be good to you, I promise… I won’t hurt you that way again… I promise, just please… stay,” His other hand flew to her cheek, both hands cupping her face. His touch reeked of desperation, clinging on to any little bit of hope that he could find. “Not again… I can’t go through that again… I won’t let that happen to myself ever again,” She uttered gently, but with firmness in its tone. One of her hands slowly reached out to his hair, fingers brushing down his black strands. “I loved you… loved you too much that I refused to admit to myself that you were hurting me… so fucking much… I loved you Suguru… so much that I was so convinced I couldn’t find anyone who could love me better… but that wasn’t love that you gave me, and I won’t accept love that I don’t deserve, because I deserve so… so much fucking better than that,” A huge weight slowly lifted from her shoulders. The hollowness that she felt had been overtaken by relief over the days she spent processing everything, and finally, she felt a sense of solace. It may be brief, but she hadn’t felt it in so long.

Loved. Geto’s heart dropped down to his guts. Loved, loved, loved. His mind wouldn’t stop repeating the way she said it; the amount of times she kept uttering it. “Loved…?” Geto questioned weakly. She smiled sheepishly, gently rubbing her thumb against his cheek, “I’m… I don’t think… the love that I felt for you is the same as what I feel now… I’m not sure really, I’m confused myself but… either way, I can’t… keep going like this.” His insides twisted, a wave of nausea rolling through him. Why is this happening? She stared into his lavender eyes, gazing into them softly, but it felt different. He couldn’t point his finger at it, but it was a different kind of gentleness reflected in them. She leaned in, her lips grazing against his, “You know… despite it all… I’m thankful that I met you… I had lots of great memories with you… it had been… a privilege to get to know you, Suguru.” Geto’s hands trembled against her face, his lips quivering. “Wait, no… what do you mean? Are you… is this the last time… that we’ll see each other?” He questioned with fear reflected in his eyes. She looked at his lips before returning to meet his trembling gaze. “No, it’s not… I don’t know what’s gonna happen either, but… I definitely need some time to continue… processing everything… and I can’t do that when I’m still around you,” She uttered slowly, her thumb coming down to the corner of his lips, “It took me so long to get here… so, don’t make me fall back again.” 

Before he could take in her words, she softly pressed her lips onto his. It was as soft as he remembered, intertwining with his just right. She kissed him gently, hands running to his shoulders to steady herself. He kissed her back slowly, holding her like an anchor to prevent himself from drowning even further. Geto deepened the kiss, swallowing the small gasps she let out. “Please… don’t leave me… I’m begging you… please… I can fix this… please stay…” He desperately whispered in between kisses, slightly whimpering. She held in another tear that threatened to fall down, refusing to answer him as she continued to kiss him. Gradually, the movement of his lips turned feverish, reeking of desperation with every press against her lips. She slowly followed in sync, holding on to his shoulders even tighter. Slipping a tongue, one of his hands flew to her waist, pulling her into his lap. The kiss became heated as she adjusted herself, caging Geto’s thighs in between hers as her face hovered over his. With eyes half-lidded, she gazed into him before pressing another fevered kiss to his lips. Geto’s hands felt more frantic, gripping tightly on her shirt, desperate for her to change her mind. His lips trailed down to her jaw in a deliberate pace, before attaching himself on her neck. He quietly inhaled her scent, missing the sweet fragrance that used to lull him to sleep. He sucked on her neck softly with a sensual, lingering pull as though trying to reclaim every inch of her skin.

Quiet moans escaped from her lips, making the tent in his pants twitch. He carefully grinded against her core, earning a loud gasp from her. Her hands clasped his shirt with a firm hold, slowly feeling herself being reeled back into his magnetic pull; intoxicating her mind. Her teeth stuck on her bottom lip as Geto’s lips trailed to her ear, his small whimpers making her knees grow weaker. She could feel herself getting more lost in his touch, his voice, his hold. He always did have this effect on her. “Suguru… please,” She spoke in between breathy moans but was only met with small, quiet hums from the man. “Suguru… fuck… you’re making it… so hard,” She continued, letting out a high pitched whine. “Please stay… at least just… for now… please… don’t go yet…” He begged as he whispered against the skin below the curve of her ear. She whimpered as his lips softly brushed against her skin, painfully teasing her. She slightly pushed his shoulders away, leaning away from Geto. Gazing into his eyes, she lightly panted as she thought about her next steps. “Please… stay… just for tonight…” He repeated, voice strained from desperation and the craving for her touch. He stopped all of his movements, waiting for her answer. Without a word, she dove back in, kissing him more ardently than before.

---

Geto softly snored, his chest rising and falling steadily. It was an understatement to say that he was expressive, yet in his slumber, he looked serene. Regardless of how rough the days were, all the setbacks and distress, he seemed to fall easily into a state of peace once he drifted off to dream. Quietly letting out a long breath, she removed herself from his hold. She pulled away his arms gently, stealing glances to make sure he wasn’t waking up. Sitting up on the mattress, she paused before her fingers reached out to him; skin tenderly grazing against his cheek. She retreated her fingers from Geto’s face, smoothing out her hair. Taking one last breath, she cautiously got up from his bed. Her eyes scanned the room, looking for her clothes that had been thrown somewhere around during their rendezvous. Once she spotted them, she took careful steps to retrieve the articles of clothing. After putting them back on, she eyed him one last time. She wondered what was going through his head once sleep took over. Sometimes, she envied the reprieve he seemed to have. Her gaze lingered on for a moment, taking the time to memorize the scene as though taking a mental picture for the photo album she kept in her mind. His hair was draped all over the pillows, strands effortlessly fanned out. With each breath of sleep, the more delicate his already soft features became. It was painful; how pretty he was. Sighing under her breath, she turned the doorknob and left him in his sleep.

As she exited the building, she eyed the quiet streets. There were only a few passerbys walking on the pavement. One or two cars would drift by, but it was mostly empty. She walked up to the pavement, walking further away from his building before stopping next to a lamppost. Taking her pack of cigarettes out, she burned a stick wrapped around her fingers; thin wisps of smoke curled from the ends. Placing it in between her lips, she inhaled the nicotine deeply. After the smoke crawled its way into her lungs, she breathed it out through her nose, staring off to the streets. She felt an odd sense of calm. It was an unfamiliar feeling, considering how she’d almost always be filled with dread after being tangled in the sheets with Geto. She couldn’t even feel a trace of it.

Geto had a hold on her that she thought she could never escape from. It proved to be difficult when she had gotten addicted to it. Though the time apart gave her some sort of clarity, as painful as it was. Slowly opening up to her friends about what she had been repressing for so long, revisiting her hobbies, taking the time to refocus on her studies, really taking the time to listen to herself, and getting closer to Gojo taught her many things. There had been one lesson that seemed to keep echoing in her head for the past couple of days; how difficult it can be to love and to give love when some of her baggage was left unaddressed. Chuckling dryly to herself, she started to smile. There was bitterness to it, though touched with a sense of relief. She wasn’t there yet, but she could feel herself walking towards it. Her laugh grew louder. People must’ve thought she was crazy. She covered her face in disbelief over what had happened for the past year. Maybe, she could let go after all.

Notes:

this kinda shit came a little bit from experience. i wanted to show that leaving this kind of relationship isn't always as easy as saying goodbye and dipping. sometimes it's gradual, spanned out.

but i'm so happy for our girl:D finally the moment has arrived!

i hope u guys liked this chapter! as always, thank you for reading!