Chapter Text
Tony managed to shake off Ziva’s half-hearted invitation to dinner with a plea of having to check in with Human Resources, and then wanting to get on home. Heading down the stairwell rather than wait for the elevator, he hoped someone was still in the office. If not, he was prepared to leave his paperwork on the desk of the chief dragon rather than make another trip up here.
He was in luck. Janet Phillips was just locking the door as Tony exited the stairwell door. She saw him coming, saw the sling and sighed. Unlocking and reopening her office door Janet nodded Tony on in, turning on her desk lamp rather than the overhead light.
“What brings you down here at this hour Agent DiNozzo? And wearing a sling and a scowl?” Janet hadn’t seen an official injury report, so this had to be new.
Closing the door behind him, Tony looked at the Assistant Head of HR. Making his decision, he moved over to sit in front of her desk. “I’m tired, Janet. I’ve spent the day in a rolling box in winter breathing smoke and being shot by my ‘partner’, who has apparently decided to completely cut me out of the team…and everyone has gone along with it.” Sitting with his shoulders slumped and his head bowed, Tony repeated, “I’m just so tired.”
“So what am I processing here, Tony? Medical leave? Medical retirement? Your resignation?” Janet looked like she was ready to go in whatever direction he indicated.
For the first time medical retirement didn’t sound like code for ‘waiting to die’. But he should probably not make that decision right this minute. “Two weeks of medical leave to start with. And I think rather than lurk around my apartment like a ghost where I’m easily found, I’m going to actually leave.”
“That’s probably a good idea. And maybe check in with your doctor on your way out of town? That smoke combined with the cold night air couldn’t have been good for your lungs.” With a burst of rapid-fire typing and a couple of mouse clicks to print Janet had the forms sent off to the appropriate people with a copy printed out for Tony as well.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll give Brad a call in the morning. See what he recommends.” Tony just really needed one good, uninterrupted night of sleep.
Janet gave him an unimpressed look. “We both know what Dr. Pitt recommends. I know you’re dedicated to justice, but at some point you need to look out for yourself as well. Especially if it doesn’t look like your team is looking out for you.” She had expressed her opinion more than once that the way Gibbs ran his team was going to be the death of his Senior Agent. Literally.
Tony thought of the smug pleasure of the people upstairs…not just quietly excluding him, but making sure he knew it was just him that had been left out. That didn’t feel like friendly teasing. That didn’t feel like ‘team’.
Sighing again, Tony took his paperwork from Janet and stood up. Coughing a little, he ignored the pointed look the assistant head of Human Resources was giving him. He just needed one night to rest, get his feet back under him, and make some decisions.
“How exactly are you getting home, Tony? With that arm in a sling you can’t drive your car.” Janet knew all about his new baby, since he’d told her all about it when he came in to get a new parking permit. “Let me drive you home. I can call my husband and have him pick me up at your place. That way you don’t have to use that arm.”
Tony hated having to ask people for favors. Not being able to take care of himself had been a cardinal sin in his house growing up, often enforced with a belt. But at least he knew Janet wouldn’t hold it against him. And she loved his triple-chocolate brownies.
“If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, I’d appreciate that.” Tony figured giving in gracefully was better than pouting like a toddler, though he really would have liked to do that too.
Janet smiled at him, quickly gathering up her things. “No trouble at all. Don actually dropped me off this morning, so I don’t even have a car to worry about.” Smiling up at the worn man in front of her, Janet moved out of her office and headed down to the parking garage, locking the door behind her.
Tony followed along, resisting the urge to open the stairwell doors, accepting his limitations for now. His arm throbbed along with his heart, both tired and wounded. Yeah, he definitely needed sleep.
Closing the door behind Janet and Don, Tony looked around his living room. Hanging up his jacket, he set down his mail he’d stopped to get on his way upstairs. Only to have the whole stack slide sideways and scatter across the floor.
Sighing, Tony stooped to pick up the fallen letters. Gathering them together, he looked at the one that had been shuffled to the top of the pile. Huh…his lawyer was trying to reach him. Opening the envelope with his teeth, Tony was surprised to find only one piece of paper inside. On it were six words. Just six. ‘Call me when you get this.’ Postmarked three days ago.
Another call to make in the morning then. Wonderful.
And after that…
Who knew? Somewhere else, for a week or two anyway. Moving into his bedroom, Tony stopped long enough to put his weapons in the safe. Well, except for the knife he kept between the mattress and box spring. Rule 9 after all.
Slipping off his shoes, Tony looked longingly at his bed. Nope. Not in his smoky clothes.
Changing quickly, Tony returned to the bed, lying down carefully, mindful of his arm. The relief of finally being horizontal was huge. Pulling the comforter up over himself Tony felt as though he was beginning to get warm at last. His body had been cold for so long, it was hard to warm back up.
Tony knew he should use his nebulizer, and he’d get up and do that in just a minute, but he was so tired. He just needed to lie here for just a minute.
It was his last conscious thought until morning.
Waking up, Tony quickly became aware of two things. First, sunrise had invaded his bedroom without a warrant just because he forgot to close his blackout curtains. Second, he couldn’t breathe.
On second thought, maybe that should have been his first thought. Rolling upright brought a headrush that nearly saw him hit the floor, and as he staggered towards the bathroom medicine cabinet, he was glad he’d kept his rescue inhaler prescription filled. It took two puffs instead of the usual one, and that wasn’t concerning at all.
Maybe that call to Brad should precede breakfast.
He wasn’t sure about using his nebulizer after taking his rescue inhaler, so he gathered up all his paraphernalia and walked unsteadily back to his bed. Grabbing his personal cell phone, he scrolled through his contacts. Finding the one he wanted, he hit the button to connect and leaned back against his headboard.
“You’d better be dead or dying, DiNozzo!” Wow! Grumpy wolverines apparently bit first.
“I might be…but I kinda…hope I’m not.”
“Tony, where are you? I’m on my way, just let me grab my keys…and some pants…oh shoes, too. Where am I going?” Apparently the obvious difficulty Tony was having getting a breath had shot through the phone and triggered the Commander’s battle response.
“Home…”
“Fifteen minutes. And you’d better still be alive when I get there! Hear me?” With that, Brad hung up, presumably to focus on either dressing or driving. Well,Tony guessed a house call wasn’t the worst thing Brad could have done. He could have sent an ambulance after him. At least this way his neighbors wouldn’t be cursing his name.
He wasn’t quite able to muster the energy to do anything, so Tony just sat quietly on his bed concentrating on breathing in…and breathing out…no need to panic…breathing out…help was coming…breathing out…
“Hey buddy, I let myself in since you didn’t answer the door. Want to tell me what led to all this?” Brad was suddenly there using his stethoscope to listen to Tony’s lungs. You could almost call that their thing. Like a secret handshake, but more intrusive….
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound good. Have you used your rescue? Just nod.” Tony nodded and held up two fingers. “Two puffs? Right before you called me?” Another nod. “So about half an hour ago. Have you used your nebulizer yet?” A head shake.
Brad saw all the required paraphernalia there on the bed with Tony and started efficiently putting the device together and filling the well with medication. “It won’t hurt to use this now, since they’re different meds. If your breathing doesn’t respond in the next forty-five minutes, you’ve got a fun-filled ER trip in your future.”
Tony just held his nebulizer to his face and focused on breathing. Time enough later to deal with the overgrown weasel threatening him with medical incarceration.
An hour later, facing his friend over scrambled eggs and toast, Tony thought about what he should tell his doctor, versus what he should tell his friend. Finally with a mental ‘Screw it’ Tony dove in.
“OK, so Ziva and I got ambushed and driven into a mental cargo container. Which then was loaded onto a truck and driven away. She freaked out and fired a shot in the container, which took a chunk out of my arm on the ricochet. We explored, found fake money, threw fake money out the window in hopes of attracting attention. Ultimately she started burning the money, for warmth. We were rescued following a firefight. I came home exhausted and fell asleep before I could use my nebulizer. End of story.” It probably would have sounded better if he hadn’t had to stop and gasp a couple of times, but it at least got the bare bones of the info out there.
Brad swallowed and took a drink of his coffee. “Look Tony, I know you don’t want to hear it, but speaking as your doctor…you can’t keep this up. I told you when you requalified for field agent status that you were looking at a medical retirement within five years. The way Gibbs runs his team into the ground on the regular has cut even that estimate in half.”
Tony sighed. He thought of a little boy screaming for his sister, and wondered. Had he done enough? “I know you’re worried, but…”
“No Tony. No buts. You need to put yourself first, for once. If Gibbs’ team can’t prove their cases, someone is going to notice. Changes will be made, and a team constructed that will follow procedure and law. But it’s not on you to do it. You’ve given your all and then some. Dust off one of your other degrees and reinvent your career.” Brad was determined. He hadn’t watched his friend struggle back from the brink only to stand by and watch him kill himself with overwork.
Tony put down his fork and ran his hand over his head. “Look, Brad, there are some things that have happened in the last couple of days…I’m starting to seriously consider my options. I’m going to make a quick call to my lawyer since he’s been trying to reach me for a few days. Then I’m getting out of town for a couple of weeks. Get away, clear my head, get some sleep, and really think about things.”
“Tony, what’s happened? I mean, I’m glad to hear you taking your health seriously, but … you know I’m your friend as well as your doctor. If you need to talk, I’m happy to listen.” Brad’s concern was obvious, but Tony just didn’t feel up to going through it again.
“Thanks man, when I’m ready to talk I may take you up on that. But right now, I really just want to get out of here. Before anybody from work shows up.” Carrying his plate into the kitchen Tony rinsed it off and started to open the dishwasher.
“Give me that! Honestly,” Brad took the plate out of Tony’s hand and proceeded to put it and his own plate into the dishwasher, setting the machine to run. “Well, take care of yourself wherever you’re going. And make sure you’ve got your inhalers and nebulizer. You’re going to need to nebulize twice a day for the next five days. Do you have the gear for that or do I need to write you a prescription?”
“I’ve got it covered, Wolverine. I’ll give you a call and let you know where I end up. And it might be a good idea to update that paperwork. Not saying I’m going to use it, but I’m definitely going to give it some thought.” Tony may feel right now like he was half-way out the door, but he wasn’t quite ready to take that last step.
Grabbing his suitcase out of the hall closet Tony went into his bedroom and opened it on his bed. To his surprise, the train case landed on the bed next to his medium case. “I’ll pack your meds and toiletries. That way I’ll know for sure that you at least have them.” Brad bustled on into the bathroom and began rounding up bottles. “Man, you have way too many hair products. I don’t even know what half this stuff is for.”
“And that’s why you’ll be bald before you’re forty and I’ll still have this fine head of hair.” It felt normal to snipe back and forth with his friend about hygiene products, ignoring the medications and apparatus that were piling in beside them.
Loading up his suitcase with jeans, henleys, and sweaters Tony made the decision to leave his suits behind. He wasn’t planning to need them for the next two weeks anyway. Throwing in his underwear and a couple of pairs of sweats for nightwear and he was finished. Brad snapped the train case shut at the same time.
“I’ll take these down to your car real quick, save you a couple of trips with your injured wing.” Brad made his way out the door with Tony’s bags in hand, snaffling Tony’s car keys on his way. Tony stood in the silence of his apartment. Leaving his work phone locked in his desk, he grabbed his personal phone and house keys and headed out after his friend.
Instead of calling Jake, he’d just stop by on his way out of town. If he had to wait for a while, that was ok. He wasn’t in a hurry to get out of town. Just to get away from his apartment, where he could easily be tracked down. As he locked the door behind him, Tony wondered who he’d be when he unlocked it again…Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo, NCIS, or someone else entirely.
He had a lot to think about.