Chapter Text
Two days after Lilly died, Duncan tried to kill himself. Fortunately for him, Logan and Veronica stopped by the house to see how he was doing and found him about five minutes after he washed down eighteen of his mother’s Percocet with a bottle of Merlot. After getting Duncan to admit what he had done, his friends rushed him to the hospital where he had his stomach pumped. In his altered state Duncan begged Veronica to leave, screaming that he couldn’t be around her. Celeste arrived as Duncan was ranting and insisted that her son’s ex leave immediately.
Shortly thereafter, Veronica’s dad brought in Jake Kane for questioning in the murder of his daughter and Keith and Veronica were shunned by the town. After all, Jake hadn’t just lost his daughter, he almost lost his son, and here was Keith Mars coming to make things worse. If it hadn’t already been established that Veronica would be staying away from Duncan—who had dumped her, after all—her being ostracized by the entire town cemented it.
Of course that meant that Veronica lost all of her friends, acquaintances and any sense of belonging at her high school. As she sat in the quad during lunch at the beginning of her junior year, everywhere the blonde looked she saw evidence of her fallen social status. The worst of course were the 09ers, notably Logan Echolls. When he saw her looking in Duncan’s direction, Logan sat down on his best friend’s lap and started rubbing his chest suggestively. The rest of the 09ers laughed in appreciation at Logan’s rapier wit, going out of their way to let Veronica know that the show was for her benefit.
Duncan, per usual, showed no expression at the emotional evisceration of his first love. Since his sister’s death and his own attempt to follow her into the sweet hereafter, Duncan had spiraled into a pit of depression. He rarely if ever showed emotion and his friends and family lived on constant suicide watch.
Veronica sighed. Her best friend bludgeoned poolside, her ex-boyfriend teetering on the edge of death, and everyone in school convinced that she was an evil whore. How was this her existence?
She dumped her lunch tray in the trash and headed to AP English. Halfway down the hall a hand shot out of the janitor’s closet and pulled her into the darkness of the solvent-filled room.
Strong hands pushed her up against the wall and soft lips started working their way down her neck. She dropped her messenger bag on the floor and wrapped her arms around the shadow now kissing her pulse point. As he raised her heart rate, the young man who was pinning her to the wall murmured against her neck.
“Veronica...” as he said her name a low sound escaped her throat. He continued, “I can’t handle the look on your face. I can’t do this.”
As she tangled her hands in his hair and tried to breathe, she managed to murmur, “We have to do it this way. You know that.”
His lips stilled and he sighed in exasperation, leaning his forehead against hers.
“I know,” he whispered. “But I hate it. I hate it.” His voice was filled with self-recrimination and pain. He stepped back to look at her and for the first time she could see his expression. The look on Logan’s face was as devastating to her as her earlier expression in the quad had been to him.
She took his face in her hands. Gently stroking his cheek with her thumb, she said softly, “If Duncan knew that we were seeing each other…” Logan pressed his lips to her forehead and nodded.
Duncan was minutes away from killing himself at any given moment and both Logan and Veronica knew it. The news that his best friend and his ex-girlfriend were in love was one of the events almost guaranteed to put the final nail in Duncan’s coffin. The couple decided the previous year to keep their relationship to themselves in an effort to keep Duncan alive and well. They had hoped to be able to come out of the closet, so to speak, as soon as Duncan showed signs of improvement. Unfortunately that day seemed no closer now than it had last October. So Logan and Veronica continued to sneak around in broom closets and trips to Catalina, anywhere that they knew Duncan and the other 09ers would not be likely to see them.
They learned their lesson early. About a month after Lilly died, Dick and Cassidy Casablancas walked in on Logan and Veronica making out against the wall in his living room. As his friends had foregone knocking and simply walked into his house, Logan and Veronica had had time to unlock lips, but didn't have time to walk away from each other.
Proving that he was much faster on his feet than people gave him credit for, Logan had said in a deadly whisper, “If you ever come here again looking for absolution, I will make sure that you are never able to show your face in this town again.” He then leaned in closer and finished, “Now get the hell out of my house before I have to have it fumigated.”
Veronica had left in a hurry; Dick and Beaver had been none the wiser; and thus had begun the calculated isolation of Veronica Mars. Unfortunately, neither Logan nor Veronica had realized the extent to which the students at Neptune High needed an outlet for their anger over Lilly’s death. Veronica’s lynching at the hands of the 09er population had quickly taken on a life of its own, forcing Logan to not just avoid his girlfriend in public but to taunt and humiliate her.
Every night he would hold her as she cried and every day he would break everything he spent the previous night fixing. They both wanted to stop the cycle but felt powerless to do so. For reasons beyond understanding, Duncan’s anxiety calmed in the face of Veronica’s being shunned. Veronica imagined that knowing she was separated from him not just physically but socially was a salve to the deep wounds in his soul. Logan and Veronica needed each other too much—they loved each other too much—to stay away from each other. Duncan needed for her to be ostracized too much for them to let anyone know.
In the janitor’s closet, Logan kissed her one more time and they clung to each other in silent defiance. Then with matching sighs, they separated. Veronica picked up her bag and carefully opened the door to the hallway. It was almost deserted. With one last look behind her, she cautiously exited the tiny room, taking the comfort of Logan’s touch with her. It was all the armor she had to protect herself from the torture that had become her every day life at Neptune High.
Logan exited moments later and headed in the other direction, as always caught between gratitude at the presence of such a wonderful woman in his life and self-loathing for making her life miserable.
Welcome to Neptune.
The Beginning…