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In Ganymede's defence, he wasn't exactly on his best ever since the beginning. That morning, his head screamed before he could even open his eyes. But Ganymede forced himself to get up either way, almost falling out of his bed.
He wasn't sick. Couldn't be. Illness meant that he was weaker than usual, and it wasn't something Ganymede could allow. After all, he had to be the biggest, the strongest. Able to withstand any pain or mild discomfort.
Because if Ganymede wasn't strong, what else did he have about himself? Weak celestials were worthless. And Ganymede wasn't, except for when he was.
So he pushed through, even as his thoughts were getting progressively more dizzy. Clouds fuzzing within his head, making it hard to focus on anything. Good thing Ganymede was quite experienced with pretending. Moon revolution was far from the first time when he forced himself to stay strong. Except that it could be just the worst one. Usually, even if Ganymede pushed through, he wasn't leading the entire revolution or some other crap. All his attempts at strategizing left him dizzy. Barely able to stand because the world just couldn't stop spinning.
It was fine, Ganymede had to be fine. Jupiter wouldn't let some stupid illness to take him down. Ganymede saw it himself, how Jupiter pushed through, right after he collapsed. How he always assured them he was okay. And if big guy was able to stay strong, Ganymede needed too.
"You turned my protest into a war!" Titan was speaking... The hell was he talking about, Ganymede couldbarely understand the words, much less their meaning. He tried to shout something back, but his clogged, dry throat kept the noise in. Asteroids splached against his clammy surface. And while Ganymede tried to kick some in return, it was getting harder to understand if the general direction was right. Things were doubling in his eyes, and for a moment Ganymede shut them tight, trying to take a deep breath, trying to cover how heavy it was, curling within his chest and turning into a throbbing pain within his core.
"I just—" He forced the chocked words out, slamming himself forward with all his strenght so cover how his legs were about to give out. Ugh— no, no— He couldn't— He wasn't fucking pathetic, he should be fine.
Except that thing had started to black out. Whatever anyone had said, screams around felt like he was drowning. His chest burned, everything was slamming against him.
If there was something that Titan expected, then Ganymede collapsing was certainly not one of those things. Thinking of it before, Ganymede's movements weren't exactly quick or nimble. Every step he made was filled with some sluggish weight that seemed to pin his shoulders down. But, Titan wasn't exactly paying attention to that beforehand.
"Uh? Ganymede?" Titan cleared his throat, tropping the asteroid he was about to launch, Ganymede wad lying on the ground, completely still— what?
As much as he didn't like the larger moon, that was wrong. Did he— no, he couldn't actually kill Ganymede... The idea left Titan's chest tight, because with everything, Ganymede was still a living being, and wasn't it why Titan stoppedthe revolution? To prevent deaths! What if he actually... He couldn't have hurt Ganymede so bad, please... Titan crounched down, and oh, Ganymede's forehead burned. Not just a bit hot, boiling, surface sticky against Titan's fingers. Ganymede's chest moved up and down rapidly? as if his body struggled to breath under it's own strain.
It was wrong...
Titan pressed his fingers to a wrist that suddenly looked several shades paler than it used to be. Turned into a dry, dirty with dust colour. And, deep withing, Titan could sense how magma flew, sending a throbbing sensation up to the surface. Unsteady, sometimes it felt too fast, sometimes skipping a beat. But still, undeniably real. Allowing Titan's stiffened body to relax before he knew it. Because even if Ganymede was so strangely hot, and now that Titan looked very close, his cheeks were flushed. His body trembled against Titan.
If there was something Titan admired in Ganymede, it was the sheer power he imposed. What made the edge of his core curle with jealousy was just how easy Ganymede moved, manipulating the sheer imposing power that left everyone in shambles. But wight now, strenght wasn't a word that fit him measy, heavy form.
"You hear me?" Titan tried to shake Ganymede awake, the other guy's face shifted in discomfort, pressing his blueish lips together with a groan. "Ganymede! Snap out of it—"
And then he noticed just how the rest of the moons stared at them, suddenly getting the idea that this looked wrong if there was no context. "He just fainted!" His words came out quick, panicked, allowing Ganymede's face to fall in his lap.
Io was the first to rush forward, breaking with enough force to scatter the nearby moons, the plates on his face creaked, shifting as lava poured onto his surface, welling in his eyes from panic. For a moment he reached his hand, before snapping it back, to wipe off whatever eruptions he just had. Europa's eyes shifted towards them, she moved from foot to foot. Looking as if she wanted to run, but concidered it a betrayal. Her eyebrows tightened, ice wrinked before some of the little moons tugged her forward. And even if Titan didn't hear from so far away, the way Europa's body relaxed, just a little, suggested she was allowed to check. Know that he was okay.
"G-gany..." She muttered, kneeling next to Io, who burrowed his face into Ganymede's shirt, and Titan. Her surface drained of colours as she took into consideration just how wrong Ganymede looked.
Titan stared away, ignoring how his core pounded from the sheer closeness. It was something stupidly intimate, a moment of weakness that Ganymede probably wouldn't want him to see. And yet, here they were. "Is he... often like this?"
Io shook his head, as Callisto cleared her throat behind them "I can't remember the last time Ganymede was actually sick."
Io tried to lift Ganymede's body, but with all his strong gravity, the biggest moon still was over a chest tall, and his limp limbs refused to cooperate. Not even counting the wings that yellow moon touched so gently, as if afraid to burn them into crisp, they made Ganymede look way broader than he was in reality. "N-now that I think... M-my orbit felt a but weird before w-we went for Titan..." He stammered.
Europa's eyes shifted, tail twirled between her legs. "Actually.. yes. Mine was kinda off cource..." Her voice heavy with concern.
...
His body dropped, Ganymede felt like he was screaming.
Was he?
Ow... ugh.. it hurt. He pressed his knees to his chest, that was so damn tight that he couldn't breathe. His surface felt watery and all messed up. It burned into a sickly horrifying pain, like nothing he had ever felt. It seemed like his core was on fire, turning his vision write with mind numbing agony that settled deep withing the ice of his surface.
Something pressed into his back, a huge hand, bug enough to grab him. Ganymede tried to snap and push it back, but his body didn't listen— why the hell couldn't he move? Why was it so damn heavy? He— he wasn't pathetic... Please... He... he couldn't be.
A deep soothing voice came to his ear, mumbling into his surface with a blowing wind that felt so strong it could tear him apart and yet, strangely soothing. The words? Ganymede couldn't tell them apart. The face of a planet blurred into a mix of colours, and if it wasn't for his familliar pink clouds of his atmosphere, Ganymede probably wouldn't even recognize Jupiter.
He wanted to scream, cry... He should be strong, he mustn't just... collapse like a baby. Tears came from his eyes. Not only at the pain, but the weight on how bad he looked. Did others know how weak he was now? H-how much would they hate him for this?
Ganymede shouldn't be weak, not now, not ever. Except that his body was so hot and everything burnt, and he just couldn't think about anything but the swallowing agony. He dropped back, whimpering into the soft pillow before Jupiter picked his up. Ganymede grabbed his fingers, feeling like his life dependend on it. The soft, cradling movement were gentle, soothing him into a soft moan. Which allowed the world to turn back into nothing. But this time filled with wartmth. Welcoming.
But it didn't change how worthless he felt
Jupiter held his breath, watching as Ganymede's face evenled into calmness once again. Breathing had turn into a weak snoring.
If Jupiter had a say, he considered himself as a planet that had a lot of experience with sick moons. Io was a definition of being chronically sick. Constantly on pain that seemed to stop bothering him so long ago. And maybe Europa wasn't so bad, but she still experienced a lot of simular symptoms. Just way tamer. But this was different. It wasn't chronic gravity effect, Ganymede just got sick on his own. And it burned Jupiter's core to watch how he trembled from unstoppable cold, how his body looked even smaller than before. So tiny and fragile as of he still was a baby moon.
Io and Europa already told him about how their resonance didn't feel right before they left— and was it why they took so long? Maybe they just wanted to check what happened to Ganymede, and Jupiter got worked up over nothing and abandoned them. When maybe he could get his moon help earlier on. But there was no use to dwell on it now.
It was other concerning part. Ganymede looked so fine, sailing at him just like he always did. He acted so casual thatvif it wasn't for the fact right now he was trembling in his hand, Jupiter wouldn't even believe there could be anything wrong.
Why didn't Ganymede tell him?
Did he not trust Jupiter?
It made his core ache. The idea that he could've failed so bad, Ganymede preffered to be in pain than tell him. Guilt gnawled on his core like a nasty parasite.
"Don't worry, I promise you, its nothing"
"Ganymede, I'm strong enough to handle anything... you don't have to worry for me."
Jupiter's core missed a beat. His arm froze in the air as his own words rang so painfully clear in his head.
Was it why? Did he make Ganymede think he shouldn't ask for help? N-no... It... it wasn't like this. Jupiter was his planet, he couldn't act weak in front of Ganymede, couldn't rely on his support when he didn't feel okay. Ganymede was someone he took care of, so he should've come to Jupiter if he felt wrong
...
Jupiter couldn't remember last time Ganymede did.
It made his insides twirl with agony. Not from pain, but guilt. As if the feeling that maybe, maybe he made his moons think it wasn't okay to ask for help. Not only his largest. What if they all thought they weren't allowed to ask for his support?
It almost made him want to throw up.
"Ganymede... its okay." He whispered, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "There's nothing wrong with being sick."
Physically, Ganymede felt better.
Emotionally? He wanted to never appear in front of anyone.
He was weak, so damn pathetic that he allowed some stupid pain to bring him down. It was wrong. Ganymede wasn't supposed to allow himself this, but here he was.
Jupiter must hate him now.
He curled on the campcot that Jupiter had so lovingly placed on a table in his own room. The table lamp shoon above his head, so large and bright, is could've replaced the Sun. Ganymede shifted, trying to shield himself from Jupiter, unable to loom him in the eye.
"Oh... Ganymede..." His voice sounded so happy, so relieved. As if Ganymede didn't pass out in front of everyone. "Do you feel better?"
The moon tuned away, trying to hold down the weight in his core. Jupiter acted so happy, why? It made no sense. Ganymede showed weakness, if he had a moon and they were so pathetic, he would throw them out, nobody gave a damn about him if he wasn't the strongest. But... Jupiter looked at him like he still cared. And it made Ganymede's throat clog with something he couldn't comprehend.
"I'm sorry..." He forced the words out. With the corner of his vision, Ganymede saw how Jupiter blinked, his face widened.
His planet's eyebrows flew up. "Wh-what do you mean, 'you're sorry?'"
Ganymede bit down the words that threatened to rip his insides out. Why was he so kind? It— it was stupid. Everything about it was. "I— I fell sick, I shouldn't have—" His words died in his throat like a hushed whimper. "I'm not that worthless, I promise."
He— he didn't want for Jupiter to think he was some pathetic weakling. Even if he was
But... Jupiter's entire body froze, his face paled, and something akin to terror grew within his pink eyes. "Ganymede?" He muttered in disbelief, swooping his moon up. So uncomfortably close that Ganymede heard how his atmosphere whirled. "You are not—" he chocked down his words, "You are not worthless."
Ganymede's sirface turned rigid. He—? No, what? "B-but I—"
Jupiter cut him off, voice firm but not angry. "You are not worthless because you're sick." And the way his words cracked, the raw emotion within him... It all was so stupid.
Jupiter should've hated him for this, any sane celestial would. The biggest moon of the solar system? Fainting in front of everyone?! It was so stupidly pathetic that it made Ganymede's core turn inside out, with even worse pain that he felt when he was actually sick. But big guy looked so genuine, so upset at the mere suggestion of Ganymede's thoughts.
"I love you... No matter what..."
Ganymede bit down his tears, pressing his face into Jupiter's chest. It made no sense of why Ganymede was worthly of love in his eyes even despite being so weak this time. But it felt too damn nice. So much that Ganymede couldn't master the strenght to srgue with whatever twisted logic Jupiter had.
"O— okay..." He muttered, trying to hide hiw much his cheeks burned.