Chapter Text
Yukio.
It was with this word that he began to exist. Sensations and sounds and stimuli rushed his being into movement.
Someone was clearly in pain. Someone screaming. Someone screaming his name.
Yukio.
Yes, that’s his name.
He couldn’t stay there. He didn’t know where there even was, but he just knew he didn’t belong there. He didn’t even know how he moved, he didn’t even know what moving even felt like until he stopped.
Yukio.
His name. His being. How long did he exist before he knew his name, before he knew he even existed at all? He couldn’t remember beginning. He could only remember being aware that he had begun at all.
There was a different voice screaming. A different voice yelling. This one wasn’t painful. This one didn’t repel him and tear gashes into his soul.
It was angry, though.
Yukio opened his eyes—green eyes—glasses—and looked up at an aged wooden ceiling. He turned his gaze around. He was in a bedroom with two bunk beds pressed up against the walls. Belongings of several people were stuffed and stored away in corners, each little pile and shelf having wildly different personalities and organization styles.
The door slammed open, then closed and Yukio watched as a young teenage boy ran into the room and clambered up one of the bunk bed ladders, crawled under the sheets, and stilled.
The door slammed open again and this time, an older boy with blond hair rushed in.
“RENZOU!” he shouted, looking around—through him—and climbing the bunk bed on the other side of the room. He tugged the blanket over, clicked his tongue in annoyance at the empty bed, and rushed back out the door without even checking the other side.
The young teenager—Renzou?—peeked out from under the blankets and snickered.
“Idiot,” he muttered smugly.
Yukio looked around again, leaning towards the door as it swung back closed from the force in which it was opened. He didn’t know how to get through. Yukio turned back towards Renzou who was reclining in the bed and pulling out a book from under his shirt. He slowly approached him, laboring in his movement through the air towards the boy.
He didn’t get close before a voice rumbled soundlessly through the air.
What are you?
Renzou didn’t move or show any sign that he had spoken the words or even noticed them, yet Yukio could tell they were coming from him.
I don’t know. His thoughts responded honestly.
Why are you here?
I don’t know.
Do you intend to harm anyone in this house?
I… I don’t think so. He didn’t feel like he was, anyway.
Hmm.
A pair of yellow eyes that didn’t have a place in the room appeared in his mind’s eye. They weren’t there, physically, but Yukio could tell he was being watched.
You are not a demon.
I don’t even know what that is, Yukio responded, allowing his thoughts to flow freely. Irritation? Maybe. Maybe he was feeling irritation. Where am I?
You are in the room belonging to the sons of the Shima family, the family that I serve.
Shima…? And who are you?
I am Yamantaka. I am bound to service under Shima Renzou.
The eyes changed their target. Yukio could feel their attention slide off of him. He looked at Renzou who was engrossed in his book, ignorant of the conversation happening. He could feel irritation, but it wasn’t his. It was Yamantaka’s.
I am bound and tucked away into a life of solitude and quiet. Your presence is almost welcome, but be warned. If you do anything to harm Renzou or his family, I will act.
Right…
Yukio recognized a threat when he heard one.
Did he?
It was the first time he’d ever been… threatened.
Yukio leaned closer to Renzou, inspecting the book he had in his hand. He frowned—lips, chin—as he recognized what was on the cover and why Renzou was so engrossed.
He turned away from the teenage boy and his magazine, instead turning to the door. He still didn’t know how to get through. Could he even get through? Did he want to get through?
Yukio reached out—hands, fingers— and touched the doorknob. His hand slipped right through as if it was air. As if he was air. Yukio pressed his hand against the door, but found he couldn’t slip through that as easily. That was solid. So were the walls.
You are contained in this room.
Yes, thank you. I noticed. Yukio sighed in irritation, pinching the bridge of his nose—face, cheekbones, dark brown hair long enough to touch his glasses—
And you are becoming clearer to me too. But I don’t think any human can perceive you. You are barely of this world. It seems my existence between the two worlds allows me to see you.
Between the two worlds… Gehenna and Assiah. Demons. Humans. Am I something in between?
Yukio grimaced—teeth, jaw—and clenched his teeth. He didn’t feel pain, but he felt… weak.
His strength left him steadily, draining as he sunk to the floor. He couldn’t feel the wood beneath him as he passed out.
Moonlight.
Yukio opened his eyes. He was still lying on the floor, though this floor was different. It wasn’t a floor at all. The uneven bumps of shingles on a roof pressed lightly against his weightless form and Yukio lifted his head.
You’re awake.
Yukio looked around. He still couldn’t see Yamantaka, but his presence was unmistakable. So was Renzou's. He was lying beside Yukio, oblivious of his presence as he stared up at the stars and moon in the sky above.
What happened?
You expended too much of your energy. I still do not know who you are or what you are, but you seem to be bound to Shima Renzou as well. As you were unconscious, I felt your presence following us.
I… see.
He didn’t. Yukio sat up, rubbing his forehead. He didn’t know why he did that. It wasn’t like anything hurt. It just felt right to do.
What’s going on?
I do not know, but maybe I can alert Shima Renzou to your presence.
Should you do that? Yukio wondered.
One way to find out.
Renzou’s peaceful expression twitched within seconds, disturbed by his familiar making himself known.
“Ugh. What do you want?"
‘Shima Renzou.’ Yamantaka’s voice sounded a little louder, or maybe farther away too. It sounded like it was in a different room, though the door was open so he could still hear it clearly. ‘There is someone here with us.’
Tension wound up Renzou's body, every muscle pulling taut. But he didn't move from his spot, merely glanced around out of the corner of his eyes, but he saw no one. Of course, he knew his familiar had far better senses than his own.
"Who?" he murmured. Where? he asked, mentally, cutting himself off from speaking aloud further for the purpose of discretion.
'I don't know,' Yamantaka told him, mirroring Yukio's answer from before. Yukio leaned closer, tilting his head and waving his hand in front of Renzou's face. No response. He placed his hand on his arm, only for his fingers to go right through.
'It is attempting to touch you,' Yamantaka reported.
I'm more than an it! Yukio protested, but Renzou couldn't hear him. Nonetheless he flinched back. And then rethought his reaction.
Are you… messing with me??? Renzou wondered incredulously.
'I am not messing with you. It is here, neither human nor demon. I can perceive it, yet it seems that you cannot.'
Use he when you speak of me! Yukio huffed.
'It is demanding that I refer to it as a 'he.'' Yamantaka seemed unbothered by Yukio's irritation.
And by Renzou's irritation for that matter.
"Yeah, right."
Renzou settled back down on the roof with a scoff, though he couldn't quite get back to the relaxed state he had been in. Yamantaka's lingering presence in the back of his mind was a disturbance that was always hard to ignore, though Renzou strived to do his best to do exactly that.
However, Yamantaka did not make that easy. The demon kept his connection with Renzou open as he addressed Yukio.
‘He doesn’t believe me.’
Of course he doesn’t believe you. He can’t see, or hear, or touch me. How could I possibly prove my existence?
‘Then you should do something so he can perceive you.’
You say it as if it’s so easy… Yukio sighed, lowering himself down on the roof.
Are you seriously going crazy right now? Or are you just bored? That was Renzou's two cents. He was growing more annoyed and exasperated by the second. He glared up at the sky, imagining Yamantaka was there to receive his ire.
‘You can summon me if you want to glare at me properly.’
Not a chance, Renzou thought viciously.
Yukio furrowed his brow, drinking in this exchange.
So he can… summon you? He stared down at the young looking black-haired teenage boy. Maybe he can summon me too, somehow.
‘You’re not a demon, so he can’t,’ Yamantaka pointed out. ‘Also, he dislikes summoning, so even if he could, he wouldn’t.’ At this, the demon’s tone took on a decidedly aggravated dip.
Complaining about it is definitely not going to make me change my mind, Renzou told Yamantaka pointedly, his dark glare affixed on the stars above them. But there was a part of him that started to get weirded out by the fact that Yamantaka kept pretending to have a one-sided conversation.
‘Nothing changes your mind. Not requests from your family, not force, not requests from me—’
Are you serious? Yukio grimaced, hearing the way Yamantaka spoke to Renzou. That’s definitely not the way to get what you want. Have you ever tried being nice to him?
‘...Nice?’ The demon sounded so clueless, Yukio almost pitied him.
Yes, nice. Kind. Understanding. I know I wouldn’t want to listen to someone when they’re so demanding.
Once the words left him, Yukio frowned. He didn’t really know that at all. He just had a feeling. After all, this was the first proper conversation he’d ever had.
Still, Yamantaka seemed to consider his words before replying.
‘And how am I supposed to be kind to him when he is intent on denying me at every turn?’
At this point, Renzou was definitely starting to have doubts that Yamantaka was actually having a one-sided conversation. As much as he disliked interacting with his familiar, he knew enough about him after all these years to know that he wasn't really one to joke around. He sat up, brow furrowed, and took another look around him.
"Who are you talking to?" he murmured suspiciously.
Yukio frowned when Renzou’s gaze predictably passed right over him.
‘I don’t know his name,’ Yamantaka responded.
Tell him my name is Yukio.
‘Why?’ The demon sounded a little irate again. Yukio sighed.
Look, just tell him. I can’t talk to him on my own, but I’m going to try and figure out how. If you do this for me, I’ll put in a good word for you once I can.
It was a long shot considering Yukio barely had any sort of plan moving forward, but if he was going to get anywhere, he needed Yamantaka’s cooperation.
Luckily, the demon seemed curious enough, or perhaps desperate enough, to accept.
‘Fine. His name is Yukio.’
“Yukio,” Renzou said dubiously, muttering still.
‘Yukio,’ Yamantaka confirmed.
Tell him I remember watching him run from that blond guy. Ask him if he remembers something happening beforehand that could have caused my appearance.
Yamantaka was palpably displeased by the request, growling in response.
Come on. Please? Yukio huffed. You’re all I have right now!
Yamantaka let out another aggravated noise before relenting.
'Yukio says he watched you run from your brother, Kinzou, and is asking if you recall anything happening beforehand.’
Anything out of the ordinary! Yukio clarified, but Yamantaka didn’t pass it on. Not that it would have mattered because there was nothing in particular about that day that Renzou could recall happening.
Hold up, back up, he told Yamantaka. And then, with a severe frown that had his brow wrinkling, he dared to consider whether or not he should actually summon Yamantaka so he could gauge the veracity of his story by looking at him directly. Of course, the moment the thought crossed his mind, the eager rush of desire that he felt from his familiar put him off from the idea entirely.
‘Summon me!’ Yamantaka demanded.
“Shut up,” Renzou muttered, distinctly annoyed. He moved on from the subject before the demon could press him further.
Who or what is Yukio? he asked. Yamantaka had mentioned that it was neither demon nor human, but what else could “he” be? He looked around again, wariness returning to his expression. Also, where is he, anyway?
Honestly, he didn’t actually want to consider that Yamantaka was being serious because the thought of something that he couldn’t see with his own eyes watching him freaked him out.
‘He is sitting beside you,’ Yamantaka growled, answering his question surprisingly enough.
On his right side. Yukio sat up a bit.
‘On your right side.’
Renzou looked to his right side. His eyes looked past Yukio, rather than at him, as he squinted in his general direction.
“...Hello?” he said out loud, feeling a little stupid for playing along.
Yukio tilted his presence a little, trying to make sure he was in Renzou's line of sight. He could pretend.
Hello. He tried to reach out to Renzou, but his voice didn't carry and his fingers passed through the boy's arm again. Still, he tried. I'm not here to hurt you.
'He says that he will not hurt you,' Yamantaka said as Renzou showed no sign of understanding him.
“Well, I should hope so,” Renzou muttered.
Then, he wrinkled his nose as he considered that he was talking to basically thin air. He redirected his attention to Yamantaka.
“Ugh, this is stupid. Can you ask this… thing, whatever it is, what it wants? And preferably for it to go away.”
Yukio gave a disgruntled noise. He didn't appreciate being called a thing, even though he knew he wasn't human. He didn't fit into what human meant. Renzou was human, and so he was not.
I don't think I can go away. Yukio moved on to the only question he had an answer for. When we were in his room, the door and walls were solid. So was the floor. I didn't have time to try the ceiling, but considering the roof underneath me now, I can only exist where he exists. Even when I was, I suppose unconscious is the only word for it, you said I followed him. And that's evident in the fact that I am here, even though I didn't come here willingly.
‘He can't leave,’ was all Yamantaka relayed and Yukio felt a hot frustration well up in his stomach.
I said much more than that!
‘That was the only part of what you said that was relevant.’
Tell him everything I told you!
‘Why should I?’ Yamantaka was uncompromising, the depth of his voice a flicker of heat that left a lasting sting. ‘I told him the important part. The rest doesn't matter.’
"Oh for the love of—" Despite being unable to hear this 'Yukio', Renzou suddenly felt an intense sympathy for him. He knew exactly how frustrating it was to deal with Yamanataka. Already, he had grown tired of it.
"If you're gonna bother me about this nonsense," Renzou said behind a tight jaw, closing his eyes with thinning patience, "either do it properly or I'll just go back to ignoring you again!"
For both our sakes, Yukio started, trying to reign in his irritation as well. Please repeat what I say word for word.
Yamantaka gave another growl, but his silence felt like grudging acquiescence. The demon began to relay Yukio’s words exactly.
‘I apologize for the confusion. I have asked Yamantaka to relay my words exactly so that nothing is lost in translation. As for the questions you asked, I’m not sure what I am, why I’m here, or what purpose I’m meant to serve. I only know that my presence is tied to you. Earlier when we were in your room and now when we’re here, I can’t pass through the walls and the roof and I don’t think I can go far from you.’
If there was a part of Renzou that was still doubting Yamantaka, it vanished now. That was certainly not the way the demon normally spoke to him. And it wasn't just the words, it was the inflection too, despite the fact that it was all being relayed directly to Renzou's mind.
An uncomfortable sense of unease began to stir inside of him.
Yamantaka-kun, he asked in his nicest voice. Is this thing dangerous? You sure you can't get rid of it?
Although it didn't sound dangerous, the fact that there was something around him that he could not see, that was tied to him... couldn't possibly bode well.
‘...I can get rid of it, I’m sure. But you will have to summon me. Then with my flames in Assiah, I can attempt to burn it from existence.’
What?! Yukio flinched back. What are you talking about?! I have no intention of harming anyone, so you don’t have to burn anyone from existence!
Reluctantly, Yamantaka relayed Yukio’s words as requested which naturally made Renzou feel a nervous sweat roll down his neck.
Geez, can you be any more discreet! he complained to Yamantaka.
Well, he supposed it was a good sign that the threat hadn't caused this mysterious Yukio to get violent. Maybe it was too scared of Yamantaka to do him any harm.
Ugh. Renzou hated the situation he was in. Why did these sort of inconvenient things have to happen to him?
One blessing, at least, was that he couldn't see or hear whatever it was that was haunting him. Which was more than what he could say about Yamantaka.
He sighed heavily.
"Well..." he muttered, keeping his voice low, because he didn't want to seem like a crazy person even though there wasn't anyone else around (aside from present company). "Whoever you are, 'fraid you're stuck with a bad hand if you can only talk to this guy. As for me, try not to bother me too much, yeah? I've got enough to deal with as it is."
Before Yukio could even think about how he might have responded, another voice called out from the garden below.
“Renzou!”
They looked down. It was a young man, black hair the same as Renzou’s and dressed in monk robes. He crossed his arms, giving Renzou a disappointed look.
“There you are. You know Dad said not to get on the roof anymore. You could fall.”
"Geh. It's Juu-nii. You found me." So much for a quiet evening. Renzou let out an annoyed groan. "Please don't tell on me. I'm not gonna fall, promise."
Juuzou sighed, his shoulders falling a little.
“You’re lucky it wasn’t Dad who caught you. How did you even get up there anyway?” he asked.
Renzou rolled his eyes at the question and leaned forward so he could rest his arms on his knees. “I climbed. Duh. Now, did you want something or can we go back to pretending I’m not actually up here?”
“You have to come down,” Juuzou said, frowning. “Mom already noticed you were missing and told me to look for you. If I come back empty handed, she’ll be upset so I got no choice but to tell them where you are if you stay up there.”
“Ugh, come on. Can’t you keep them off my back for a little longer? It’s not even dinner time yet!” Renzou complained.
“You got two choices, Renzou. I already told you what I’m gonna do,” Juuzou replied stubbornly.
Yukio peered at Renzou, taking in his disgruntled expression.
It sounds like you’ll be in less trouble if you go down, he suggested, and Yamantaka helpfully translated for him.
Of course, the reminder that he also had this going on only took Renzou's frustration up another level. He felt stifled, trapped, and wishing more than ever for some god damn lasting solitude, but that was a pipe dream that would never come to fruition and he knew it.
With a scowl that caused his entire face to darken like a storm, Renzou gave in.
"Fine, fine,” he told Juuzou. “I'll be right there." Jerk.
Yukio watched Renzou stand up and walk over to the tree off to the side of the garden. He felt himself get tugged along the moment Renzou was too far away and Yukio had no choice but to follow. Below, Juuzou tensed, uncrossing his arms and hovering his hands in front of him as Renzou jumped down into the branches, then onto the ground.
Juuzou sighed with a note of relief and braced his hands on his hips while Yukio floated down, hovering right behind Renzou’s shoulder. No one could see him, and yet he still didn’t really want to get in the way.
“Just save us all the trouble and don’t climb up there anymore,” Juuzou said. “Next time you might not be so lucky as to have me find you.”
"If you're that worried about Kin-nii cracking my skull open, maybe tell him to think twice instead," Renzou muttered with resentment as he trudged alongside Juuzou back inside the house.
“Come on, Renzou. It’s not that bad. Don’t exaggerate,” Juuzou scolded. “Kinzou may be enthusiastic, but he’s hardly going to crack your skull open. He’s your older brother.”
Yukio frowned, feeling a little irritation at the dismissive attitude. If Kinzou was who he thought he was, he’d seen that blond’s brute force with his own eyes.
"He's a moron," Renzou said bluntly, which earned him a sharp look, but Renzou didn't bother to protest further, knowing exactly how successful that venture would prove to be.
As a result, he was looking away when Juuzou lifted his hand. Yukio started and reached out. For a brief moment, his fingers made contact with Renzou's shoulder and he felt a chill run over his skin. It was shocking enough that he turned his head in time to see Juuzou's hand, in time to duck and dodge the swipe coming his way.
"Don't start," Juuzou said, not bothering to try again. The smack wasn't probably going to be all that hard in the first place. Still, Yukio looked at his own hand in astonishment. Renzou, similarly shocked, touched his shoulder absently, still feeling the phantom sensation of a touch that he instinctively knew belonged to another person. To Yukio.
He quickly schooled his expression.
What the hell was that? he asked Yamantaka.
‘Yukio touched you. But he is beginning to fade again.’
He was. Yukio felt that same weakness from before. He’d overexerted himself. Somehow, touching Renzou had simply been too much.
Wait, again? What do you mean? Renzou’s brow furrowed in confusion.
‘This is the second time he has been awake. He’ll probably come back.’
Yukio’s eyes fluttered closed.
Probably.