Chapter Text
.Clarke’s POV.
She felt like she was living in a dream. The wedding, the wedding night, even the days following… It took her quite some time to come back to reality. It was a high she had never felt before and she never wanted it to wear off. Her dream had come true, her fairytale had happened. She was married to the woman of her dreams, living in the Capitol, and finally feeling at peace. It took some time to get to this place, but it was all worth it (well maybe not all of it… but most of it).
Thinking back, Clarke couldn’t remember much of the wedding. She felt like everything happened so fast. She was more of a bystander, an observer… But one thing she did remember was the feelings she felt during the whole thing. Her heart was full, she felt love from all directions, not just Lexa, but her friends and family, and even the Grounders. Her head swam in the best of ways and her body tingled from all of it. All of these feelings came rushing back every time she even thought about the wedding.
And the wedding night… Phew. Clarke shuddered just thinking about it.
It had been such a long day, such a long week leading up to the wedding that she was surprised she didn’t pass out as soon as the last guest left. She tried to help clean up, but the handmaidens wouldn’t have it. The tower staff had it all under control and wouldn’t allow her to lift a finger. She ended up bidding her family good night, excited to spend time with them in the coming days. They were staying in the Capitol for a few days which thrilled Clarke. She couldn’t wait to spend more time with them in her new home.
So she retired to her room with her new wife, both of them still in a state of bliss. Lexa too looked exhausted, but happy. It was a look that she wore well, as rare as it was. She figured they’d both be asleep within minutes, the excitement and nerves finally wearing off, but that wasn’t the case. Despite the fatigue, they still longed for each other. Clarke had spent the entire ceremony, since she first laid eyes on Lexa in that dress and that makeup, trying to keep her hands off of her. It appeared Lexa felt the same way. Clarke could see it in her eyes, and in the way her hands were itching to reach out and touch. Now they were finally alone, and it was finally time to give in.
The sex was great, it always was with Lexa. She had a way of worshipping Clarke, every inch of her that set Clarke on fire, making her feel a hundred things at once. And making her feel like she was the sole focus of Lexa’s life. Lexa was so caring and thorough, not missing one opportunity to kiss or touch. At the same time, she was so aggressive and hungry, but in a respectful way. A fine balance that only Lexa had.
They took turns, both having the opportunity to take charge, both having the opportunity to give in and experience… It was amazing. But at the same time, this night was different. Something had changed. Maybe it was the wedding, maybe it was the emotions behind the entire day, maybe it was the words that Lexa had spoken so earnestly and openly, but Clarke felt the change. Tonight, she felt like the two of them had truly become one, and Clarke never felt closer to anybody in her entire life. Even their movements matched perfectly. They just fit harmoniously… Not to mention, there were definitely some new things that happened that night that neither of them had tried before. All in all, it was perfect…
The days that followed were also nice. There was a sense of calm in the lands. A sense that soothed Clarke’s heart. For the first time in her life, she felt good. She didn’t have to worry. She wasn’t sure how long this would last, but she tried her best to live in the moment and just cherish it all.
There was no honeymoon because that wasn’t a thing, nor was there time for it. Lexa had to return to her duties pretty much the next day. Of course she didn’t get any time off. Where would they go anyway? Though Clarke had some ideas of where she’d like to go. The mountains, the ocean, any beach really… Maybe someday they’d have the time. Time for themselves.
The wedding had been the talk of the lands for a long time, even weeks afterwards. It was a rare occurrence, completely new for the Grounders. Never had a Heda wed another. As Lexa stated during the ceremony, it went against everything they had been taught. But not anymore. And who better to change decades of tradition than Lexa herself. She had set a precedent for all future Commanders, something for the novitiates to look forward to, and something for her people to look forward to. Not only a wedding, but the prospect of love… And further, the prospect of happiness. She showed those young Nightbloods, and the young (and older) Grounders overall that it was okay to be happy. If Heda could do it, they could too. It warmed Clarke’s heart and she was so happy to be a helping hand in all of it.
Not only was this sense of relief a huge change, but Lexa and her council were beginning to make big changes within the Capitol as well, and in Grounder law. Everyone knew this wouldn’t be easy, even Clarke, but they had to start somewhere. It would take a long time for the laws to really change the way of life, and people’s mindsets, but if anyone could do this, Lexa could.
Jus no drein jus daun remained in effect, and luckily this pertained to Pike and the guards as well. As much as Lexa wanted to unleash vengeance upon him, she knew she couldn’t. Clarke was just a little bit pissed with herself for putting this idea in Lexa’s head in the first place, but they couldn’t backtrack now. So yes, Pike was spared, but he was banished from the lands as well, forced to live out the rest of his life in solitude in the wilderness. Maybe he’d come across Titus, maybe he’d die alone… Clarke didn’t care. She just wished that he would suffer. It was too bad that he was kind of knowledgeable about nature, but hopefully not this “post-Praimfaya” wilderness.
The guards were given a lesser sentence. For their participation in Pike’s rule and the mass-murder of hundreds of Grounders, as well as attempted murder of the Commander and some members of Skycrew, they were each given prison sentences with possibility of rehabilitation, though Clarke wasn’t banking on the latter part. She knew that they could not kill the guards either under Lexa’s law, but at least they would be punished. Some were serving life terms, others were given less, some were even given community service/hard labor punishments instead. It was the best they could do.
Bellamy was included in this group. Clarke really wished he had been banished, but Kane was a better person than her. Maybe he held a soft spot for the guy, or at least for Octavia. Maybe he knew that banishment would lead to most-certain death. Who knows… Life in prison would have to do. Although Clarke had a feeling that he’d get out before that, maybe on good behavior, or maybe because deep deep (deep) down there was something redeemable within him. He could be helpful when he wanted to…
Clarke had avoided seeing him, not knowing what her reaction would be. She also didn’t want to give him the time of day. She didn’t want to hear his excuses. She didn’t want to look into his eyes. She also didn’t want to be tempted to strangle him with her bare hands. She knew he’d be sitting there with this big, sad eyes, feeling bad for himself, or maybe he’d be regretting what he did. She’d never know. She thought she knew him… But what he did was unforgivable, even if he had spared Indra. So she mourned their destroyed friendship and made her peace with never seeing him again (if she could help it).
The Conclave was the next order of business. This was going to be much more difficult to change. This was essentially the cornerstone of their culture. The entire Ascension was central to Grounder leadership. This was one of the oldest traditions, stemming from the first Commanders, so yes, it would be very difficult to even approach this, let alone change it.
But Lexa was never one to run from difficult choices. She faced them head on. So she began coming up with alternatives, making sure to keep all opinions in mind. It was hard… Lexa was facing opposition from everyone, including her most trusted advisors. The Clan leaders were not too pleased either. The main issue being that allowing other Nightbloods to live after the Conclave could leave a potential threat alive, and it would leave the door open to an assassination attempt on the sitting Heda. Lexa doubled down, insisting that the Nightbloods could be trained in how to deal with this. They spent so much time in the Capitol, this would be something they could address. She also reminded everyone that the title of Heda means one’s life is always in danger, not only from other Nightbloods. And the way she mentored the young ones would allow her to address this as well, perhaps teaching them how to live harmoniously after the Conclave. They respected her, some even loved her, so yes, Clarke believed they would listen to her and remain peaceful despite the outcome.
Other dissenters wondered how the Conclave would take place if not a fight to the death. How would a winner be chosen? It was a tall order to change the entire process of the Conclave on top of everything. A few suggestions were offered here and there, but nothing was agreed upon. This was going to take a lot longer than other decisions, but at least the conversation had begun. Lexa put the idea out there, and eventually they would figure it out… or not. Clarke would help in any way she could. These young lives were so important and Clarke wanted to keep them all on Earth as long as possible. They could offer so much, especially after all the training, even if they did not become Heda. It could even prove to be very beneficial to have Nightbloods dispersed around the lands. After all, they would have a specific skill set that others would not. All something to think about…
Clarke also found that she was getting a much bigger role as Heda’s wife. And it was quick. She expected this… but didn’t necessarily want it. The surprising part was that now people were coming to her with certain issues. They weren’t the biggest concerns, but they weren’t small either. It appeared that as Lexa’s equal (or as close as anyone could get in the political sense), Clarke was just as important in some of the decision-making processes. It was a lot to comprehend, and it definitely scared her.
Clarke and Lexa discussed what exactly Clarke could assist with, and which decisions she could make. Lexa seemed to trust her more than Clarke even trusted herself, so she pretty much allowed Clarke to make any decision that was brought to her. It terrified her. She felt nowhere near qualified to make such decisions. Lexa laughed, called her adorable, but didn’t change her mind.
Lexa was now beginning to ask for Clarke’s input more as well. That was the most surprising, though it shouldn’t have been. It was no longer Lexa ruling alone, it was almost as if the two of them were now (most of the time at least). And the Grounders didn’t seem to have a problem with this at all. They were no longer stubborn and standoffish. They were much more welcoming and receptive to her opinions and decisions. That was a huge shock. It took some time for Clarke to be truly comfortable with this, though she probably never would be.
During all of this, as changes were being implemented and drawn out, Lexa also made a point to begin seeing Gaia and the others more regularly. Most Commanders did not spend a lot of time with the Order of the Flame and the spiritualists, but Lexa seemed really intrigued by them. She was interested in who Gaia was and what she did, which might have had something to do with who her mother was…
Indra came along for some of the meetings, but not all the time. She was rather quiet around her daughter. Clarke still couldn’t quite tell the nature of their relationship. It was far different from the one she had with her mother. But Clarke could see that Indra enjoyed seeing her daughter, even if only for short periods at a time, and even if she didn’t say so (or necessarily show it blatantly).
It was decided that Clarke would remain the Flamekeeper. She was relieved, but nervous all over again. After learning a bit more about it from Gaia, she realized how big of a deal it was for the Grounders. Though after seeing what it really was, Clarke thought she might actually be the best person for the job. At least she could go to Raven if something ever came up or if there were any tech-related issues. Though she prayed there never would be because she did not want to see that thing again up close and out of Lexa.
Clarke made it a point to continue seeing Gaia on her own to learn as much as she could about the Flame and their interpretation of it. She wouldn’t share what she knew about it because for now, those worlds did not have to meet. Everything was stable at the moment and she wanted to keep it that way. She would also use this time to learn more about the history of the Grounders in general. It was so fascinating… And maybe one day, she’d be able to share their history with Gaia as well. After all, both of their histories were quite intertwined, almost one in the same. And thanks to the wedding and union of both their people, it was coming back full-circle (almost).
So yes, things were looking pretty good… And Clarke was not only satisfied, but she too was happy. Finally happy. And for once, she was looking forward to the future. She wasn’t living day to day anymore, afraid of what was lurking around every corner. She wasn’t afraid for Lexa anymore (well, not as afraid as she once was). And she finally felt secure with what was going on in Arkadia. The leadership was good, the sub-leadership was even better, and she didn’t feel she needed to worry about her mom or her friends anymore. In fact, she’d never seen them happier either. They were finally beginning to rebuild (physically and emotionally), and do things for themselves. Something that wasn’t an option before. They finally had free time… To just grow up and be themselves, or find themselves if they hadn’t before. They finally had time to live.
It was a great time to be alive, and for Clarke, it was an even better time to be a leader. Things could have ended so badly more times than she could count, but they hadn’t. Fate had brought them here. All of them. And fate had not only brought Lexa into her life, it kept Lexa in her life, despite all odds. And those were some huge odds.
Looking out over their now shared balcony, the balcony Clarke had always loved, the two leaders stood in silence, taking everything in. It was a rare moment of respite for Lexa… Something that eluded the Commander, but Clarke hoped it would occur more often now.
Clarke looked over at her, still surprised that such a magnificent creature was all hers. Her eyes passed over very familiar features, ones that would never cease to captivate her. Gosh, Lexa was just so breathtaking from every angle, and especially in this light. Her favorite time of day… dusk.
Lexa looked peaceful, the ghost of a smile on her lips. Each day that passed since the formation of Wonkru seemed to bring Lexa a little closer to that unattainable bliss, the satisfaction that any leader yearned for. Each day, she looked a little more relieved, a little lighter. As each detail was worked out and each new agreement was passed, her shoulders became just a little less tense. Clarke could see the changes and she was so happy for Lexa. It was finally her time, and she deserved it. She deserved everything good. She sure as hell earned it.
“Feels good, doesn't it?” Clarke asked, letting the soft light of the descending sun warm her face.
“What?” Lexa asked, turning slightly to face her.
“Everything,” Clarke replied, eyes closed.
Lexa laughed a soft laugh. “I suppose.”
Clarke opened her eyes, not wanting to miss the chance to stare into Lexa’s, especially when she was laughing. And the way the sunlight was hitting her eyes right now made them all the more marvelous.
“I mean it,” Clarke said, adding just the smallest whine to her tone. The whine that usually got Lexa to agree with her. Not annoying… but cute (hopefully).
It worked and Lexa smiled, nodding.
“It’s such a perfect night,” Clarke began, turning her attention back to the lands stretching far past the balcony. “And everything just feels good. You know?”
“Mm…” Lexa agreed.
“And looking out over all of this, all of your land…”
“Our land,” Lexa corrected, not missing a beat. And it made Clarke feel pretty damn good inside.
“Sorry, our land…” It felt really good to say that. She’d have to practice. “Everything just feels different now… The air feels different. It feels so positive.”
Lexa remained silent, either waiting for Clarke to elaborate, or just letting the words sink in.
“You did it, Lexa. And I can really feel the changes. I think all of your people can… Sorry, our people. And I know a lot of it will take time, but I can already see differences. You gave your people hope and I think they’re finally starting to think ahead to the future. You’ve given them that… A future worth looking forward to. It’s amazing…”
“We did that,” Lexa corrected again.
“Maybe, but most of it was you…”
Lexa scoffed, unwilling to engage further but letting Clarke know that she didn’t agree.
Clarke just nudged her with her shoulder playfully. “You know I’m right.”
Lexa smiled. “You are. The air does feel quite nice tonight.”
Clarke rolled her eyes, but didn’t disagree. She inhaled it, allowing the cool air to fill her lungs and calm her even further. All the smells of the woods and of the sky came rushing to her and she reveled in them. She really did love this place, almost as much as the woman right next to her. And she really couldn’t wait to spend the rest of her life with her. They had only scratched the surface of what they could do, both in their relationship and as leaders.
And Clarke knew the same was true for herself. There was so much in store for her and she actually couldn’t wait to really start living. With Lexa by her side and her family’s support behind her, she knew she’d be okay no matter what. Her story was just beginning. She was no longer afraid. In fact, she was reinvigorated. She was excited. Her people had impassioned her, giving her life a new purpose. Like Lexa, she would now live for all of her people, not just her former clan. She would also strive to be the best she could for her wife. Lexa deserved nothing less.
So no, the world wasn’t ready for what Clarke kom Wonkru was about to offer.
The END.