Chapter Text
September 14
“And that’s about all for today. Thank you.”
The second the words leave Jimin’s mouth, all of the students stand up with their bags and one by one walk to leave the class. Jimin sighs as he walks over to his desk, putting down his pointer and taking off his teaching glasses. As he organizes his teaching materials and packs some of his things, as well as the grading papers, Jimin lets out another of his long sigh.
Since it’s nearing the end of the semester, this means his work is piling up every single day and he has to start compiling the essay questions for the final exams– and his jaws and throat are already sore from all the talking when he knows that not even 50% of the students were actually listening. Bloody university students. Thank God it’s his last class and he's done for the day. All he wants to do is to go home, have a bit of a beer, and cuddle with Bo because puppies give better cuddles than humans, apparently.
Jimin is still arranging his things, while in the back of his mind keeps working on what he has to do for the end of term when a message pops up on his phone.
from: namjoon-hyung
Hey Jimin! Expect something in your mailbox today!
Jimin can’t help but see that the last message Namjoon sent him before this new message was almost two years ago. They hadn’t been in contact that much. Only occasional DMs on Instagram and replying to each other’s Instagram stories, but that’s about it.
from: jimin
hey hyung! gosh its been such a while since we last texted
alright!!
Without thinking much of it, Jimin takes the bus home and watches as the houses blur past him. Once Jimin arrives home, Bo jumps up and down the moment Jimin opens the front door, making the stack of letters get all crumpled up by the tippity-taps of Bo. One letter stands out to him the most since it’s big in size, so he opens it first, and there it is.
TOGETHER WITH THEIR FAMILIES
MIN YOONGI AND KIM NAMJOON
INVITED YOU TO CELEBRATE THEIR LOVE & UNION
Jimin sighs, a content smile easing onto his face as a gentle mix of nostalgia and happiness settles in his chest. The last time he saw Namjoon was about a year ago, during Jimin’s trip to Austria for an international seminar. He’d noticed—through a string of quiet Instagram stories—that Namjoon happened to be there too. So Jimin reached out, suggested they meet, and they did.
It was easy with him, as always. They slipped back into conversation like no time had passed at all. Namjoon had been there alone for a project, unable to bring Yoongi because Yoongi had one of his own back in Korea. Still, the two of them had spent that afternoon catching up, talking about everything and nothing, like they were still those younger versions of themselves who never ran out of things to say.
Jimin settles onto the sofa, and Bo immediately hops onto his lap, circling once before curling into a warm, familiar weight. As Jimin absently strokes her back, his mind drifts—pulled gently into memories of the old days with his friends. High school, where they all met and somehow clicked without trying. The reckless parties, the cheap alcohol, the way they spent every summer chasing sunsets in cities they’d promised each other they’d visit together.
He remembers the year the whole group insisted Jeongguk take them to Jeju, how it barely took any convincing at all. Jeongguk had agreed with that easy smile of his, proud to show them the island he knew like the back of his hand from countless family trips.
In hindsight, Jeju might be Jimin’s favorite summer of all. Not just because the trip was perfect, but because he could feel how much it meant to all of them—how much it meant to Jeongguk. Those were the memories that glowed the brightest.
And it’s bittersweet, thinking about the memories now. Thinking about the boy who’d been at the center of every single one of those summers. The person he shared his whole high school and university life with. The one he doesn’t even speak to anymore.
Jeon Jeongguk.
It’s not every day that Jeon Jeongguk crosses Jimin’s mind, but every time he does, he sure does take over every single thought. Jimin always ends up finding himself thinking of all the times they’ve spent together stealing kisses in almost every corner of the school– the library, the changing room, the school backyard, the little shallow dark hall near the auditorium, anywhere they could find, or how every study sessions would end up with them making out instead– and sometimes more than just making out. If he focuses enough, he might even still be able to hear Jeongguk’s laugh. Jimin always ends up wondering the same questions– where Jeongguk might be, if he’s doing well, if he still resides in Busan, or if he has moved to another city, or maybe even to another country. Jimin always fights the urge to check on Jeongguk’s social media every time curiosity gets the better of him. Sometimes he’s too afraid of what he might find, of what he might have missed, of what he let go of.
After all, it’s been a solid seven years since the breakup.
They started to date right before Jeongguk graduated high school. They were best of friends before everything else, but both had been secretly having a crush on each other since the very start. They were inseparable– like their friends used to say, it’s Jeongguk -and-Jimin. There was nothing that could possibly tear them apart, not even university plans and the whole long-distance thing. Or so everyone thought.
They stayed together all through university, even though they ended up in different cities. Jeongguk chose to remain in Busan, while Jimin had his heart set on studying in Seoul. So they built a rhythm around the distance; Jimin taking the train down to Busan one weekend, Jeongguk showing up in Seoul the next. It became their quiet routine, their way of saying we can do this. And for a long time, they did. Everything felt steady. They were alright. They had each other, and they had their determination.
Until one day it wasn’t fine, and they weren’t alright. Something must’ve happened gradually, but looking back, Jimin couldn’t really point out when things started to go awry between them. All he knew was that things fell apart slowly, they weren’t communicating enough, and Jimin started having trouble finding time to visit, and the same thing happened to Jeongguk as well. Facetime became phone calls before they were reduced to only texts and then nothing. It was like Jimin was forced to witness everything crumbling down right in front of his eyes. It was almost like he couldn’t do anything about it.
It was shortly before Jeongguk’s graduation that they broke up. Jimin decided that it was the right thing to do— the most logical decision that they could ever make because it seemed like nothing was working out. It was funny to Jimin because they had been struggling to make time yet they both showed up early the day they broke up. Jimin had stared into Jeongguk’s eyes— the person he thought would be with him as he faced the world after graduating the upcoming year. He still felt love, after all, that was all he had ever known with Jeongguk. He still felt love from Jeongguk, too.
It showed in the way his voice sounded so hoarse, so close to breaking apart— “So this is it? This is goodbye?” It showed in the way Jimin could see Jeongguk’s eyes glowing because they started to water.
“I’m sorry,” was all Jimin managed to say because his throat was closing up on him and his own tears were threatening to fall. So he could only let his eyes focus on his hands, and even that was only before his vision started to blur from the tears.
“You don’t need to be sorry,” Jeongguk spoke almost too softly, and it echoed in the empty diner. Jimin was the one who asked to meet up at a public place because he thought he would be able to maintain his emotions and feelings better— with all the people in the background and whatnot. Jimin knew if they were alone in the dorm, it would’ve hurt all the same anyway, so he didn’t really know why he bothered.
“You don’t care if we try again?” Jeongguk had his head down low, Jimin could see his legs bouncing restlessly. “That maybe we should give it some time? Another try?”
“We haven’t been giving time to each other for the past year, we haven’t been ‘us’. What makes you think we’re going to make a difference?” All Jimin could hear was his own heart breaking.
Jeongguk stared at Jimin with a pained expression, as if he couldn’t believe that all of this was happening. Jimin couldn’t believe it himself either. He loved this person, so much. How did he come to this decision? Was this even the right decision all things considered? Did Jimin consider enough?
“Okay.” Jeongguk nodded weakly, looking away as his restless legs kept bouncing up and down, licking and pursing his lips. “Alright.”
Jimin took a few minutes of the painful silence just to take everything in. Jeongguk was right in front of him. His Jeongguk. Years and years of memories flooded his mind, and his heart ached. And then he decided that he couldn’t be there anymore. He had to go or else he wouldn’t be able to. “I’m sorry, Jeongguk. This is for the best. Take care of yourself. I…–”
I love you, Jimin’s words got stuck in his tongue. The words were true as they always had been, but somehow it felt hard to say them. It wouldn’t make a difference anyway, had he chosen to say them. So he decided to reach Jeongguk’s hands and squeeze them for one last time before standing up. This was going to be the last time he was able to touch Jeongguk. “Goodbye.”
Jimin would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t wish Jeongguk would reach his hand back and pull him back down again. He would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t wish Jeongguk would run to the parking lot, stop Jimin’s car from leaving, and ask him to stay. But Jeongguk did none of those things. Jeongguk didn’t pull him back. Jeongguk didn’t run after him. Jeongguk was still there in his seat when Jimin took a glance at the restaurant as he was leaving the parking lot.
It took Jimin two years before he started dating again. But even so, the first guy after Jeongguk lasted for only five months before Jimin had to leave Japan– he went to Japan to get his masters. The other– and the last one– lasted for only a year before Jimin broke it off just last year because he knew he still couldn’t get over Jeongguk. And it’s stupid, really. Seven years with no contact at all has passed, and to think that he had spent at least four years alone, and his mind still refuses to let the memories of him and Jeongguk go.
What they had was special, their friendship, their bond, and their love, their lovely memories that are burned in the back of his mind like a tattoo that Jimin knows he can never escape. Jimin used to say that it would literally take him a lifetime to get over Jeongguk if they ever broke up. Is he living up to his own words now?
That complicated lengthy history plays in his mind when his phone makes a string of sounds, indicating there are a few text messages. He reaches for his phone to open those messages.
hobi: oh my god did you guys receive it too
tae: YES
soobin: you’re talking about namjoon-hyung & yoongi-hyung’s wedding right
tae: omg imagine if one of us werent invited how awkward this would be
seokjin-hyung: Jimin?
Jimin: yes yes. im so happy for them!
Jimin hasn’t been keeping up with other friends from high school or uni. The only people he still talks to are these people right here and a few from uni that don’t make it into this group chat. After all, this is their OG group chat, one that no one should tamper with, Hoseok had said once in such a dramatic voice.
Jimin decides to leave his phone after that text he sent, the reminiscing about the past has unknowingly drained his brain. He goes to the kitchen to make some food, takes his time eating his dinner, and washes up before taking Bo for a walk to a local dog park.
He’s about to call out for Bo so that they can go home when his phone makes a string of noises again.
tae: guys yeonjun texted me asking if we would be up for a get-together
tae: to discuss a send-off party for joonie-hyung and yoongi-hyung
tae: would you guys be alright with it
seokjin-hyung: of course!!!
tae: this saturday, everyone’s free?
soobin: i am!
hobi: count me in!!!
seokjin-hyung: you bet i am
Jimin doesn’t have the time to text a reply because then his phone rings, and Taehyung’s caller ID shows up. Jimin shouts for Bo before answering the phone, and Taehyung greets him immediately. “Hey.”
“Hi.” Jimin chuckles. “I was literally just about to reply to the group chat.”
“Yeah, I know. That’s why I called.” Taehyung says at the end of the line.
Jimin brings his eyebrows together confusedly. “What do you mean?”
“Um… I just, I think you should know that…” Jimin hears Taehyung sighing. “Jeongguk’s gonna be there.”
Oh.
“Oh.”
Well, of course, he’s gonna be there. Yeonjun, Jeongguk, Beomgyu, and Namjoon went to the same university. They were really close even back in high school. Of course, Jeongguk is going to be there. Why hasn’t Jimin thought about this?
“It's okay if you don’t want to come. It’s really okay. I’ll tell them that–”
“Tae. It’s been seven years.” Jimin swallows. “Don’t you think it’s gonna be very weird if I turned this down just because Jeongguk’s gonna be there?”
“Well….”
“I’ll be there.”
A beat. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah.” Bo is right there in front of him now, wagging his tail, looking up, and waiting for Jimin. Jimin bites his lips. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
♥
September 19
Despite saying that he would be okay with joining the get-together on Saturday, Jimin has to admit that he has been dreading the day. He starts to second guess his decision, and starts to get cold feet about something he can’t quite put a finger on. Why is he this uneasy?
Well, he’s going to see Jeon Jeongguk for the first time in seven years, that’s why.
Hoseok, Seokjin, Soobin, and Jimin arrive first, Jimin picks them up and drives them to the restaurant. Taehyung had said that he would be coming around with the rest of the people.
The rest of the people are Beomgyu, Yeonjun, and Jeongguk. After half an hour of waiting, the trio finally arrives, and it’s almost immediate; Jimin hitches in his throat, a significant bang echoes loudly in his chest, followed by wild throes of thumps of his heartbeats– he can hear them in his ears in real-time.
Jeongguk walks in with a smile on his face while talking to Beomgyu, his eyes haven’t found Jimin’s yet, but Jimin watches his every move. Jeongguk is still as handsome as ever, if not more. He’s tall and fair, his dark curls are pretty long now. He looks slimmer than what Jimin remembered, but anyone who sees him would still fall under the impression that he takes good care of his body. Jimin looks away, because he feels like he’s already staring too much.
The first time their eyes meet is when Jimin finishes ordering something, and it takes everything in Jimin not to stare. Their eyes meet for only a split second and already Jimin feels like he’s burning hot. So he looks away instantly.
Surely Jeongguk had known beforehand that Jimin would be here. There was no way Yeonjun didn’t tell him about who else was going to be here at the get-together. Jimin can only stare at his drink the whole time, wondering what Jeongguk had felt when he knew that Jimin was going to be here. Did he feel nervous? Did he feel excited? Or did he ever question whether or not he should go just as Jimin did?
Did a part— a small part of him come here because he wanted to see me? Just like I did?
Jeongguk sits at the end of the table while Jimin sits at the other end. They don’t exchange words at the get-together, most of the talk about the plans and whatnot is carried on by Beomgyu and Taehyung, and the others chirp in here and there on small details. Jimin isn’t a big fan of planning things. So he decides to just listen. Jeongguk talks, presenting some ideas with a beaming smile. Since the distance between them is quite a gap and the pub is a bit crowded tonight, they still don’t exchange any words with each other, only small smiles and stolen glances. Jimin can’t really hear Jeongguk’s voice that well, but the sound of his laugh still makes it to Jimin’s ears and Jimin fights back a smile from forming. There was a time when that laugh was Jimin’s favorite treasure in the world.
Jimin doesn’t know why but he takes a glance to see if Jeongguk is wearing a ring, which he isn’t. A strange bit of relief comes through Jimin, but that can’t mean he’s not taken. He might be. Nobody knows. Or maybe Beomgyu and Yeonjun know. Wait, why am I even thinking about this anyway?
The night is about to end, with Soobin saying he has to meet up with a friend and bids the rest of the group goodnight, followed by Yeonjun who says he has to pick her sister up. All of them decide that they should schedule another get-together and everyone agrees. It is then that Jimin receives a call from his brother and decides to go out of the diner for a bit of silence. He stays outside a little longer even after the phone call ends, enjoying the chilly breeze of September blowing in his face. He usually gets cold very easily but tonight isn’t that much colder compared to the nights before. After all, it’s only September.
And that’s when he feels a tap on his shoulder.
“Hey.”
It’s the first time in the night— and in seven whole years, that Jimin hears that voice up close, like really close. Jeongguk’s voice echoes through Jimin’s ears smoothly just like it used to all those years ago. “Oh, hey.”
And then they just smile at each other, for the first time in such a long time Jimin is looking right into Jeongguk’s eyes, his mind taking a mental note that the last time he saw those eyes, they had been glazed with tears. Jeongguk smiles and Jimin’s mind takes another note that the last time he saw Jeongguk, he wasn’t smiling at all. “It’s been a hot minute.”
Jimin nods, clenching his bottom lip with his own teeth. “It’s been a while.”
Jeongguk scoots closer, taking his place right next to Jimin, and Jimin’s heart skips a beat. That smile. Still the same smile. Somehow it feels like nothing has changed. “How have you been doing, hyung?”
“I’ve been… okay. Just a lot of work stuff and all.” Jimin decides to look away, finding it hard to focus on his thoughts to stay calm when Jeongguk is this close, all the while trying to ignore the skip in his heart when Jeongguk said ‘hyung’. “What about you?”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk says with a huff, letting out a long sigh. “Grading exams are the worst, especially when some handwriting is impossible to read.” He chuckles near the end of his sentence.
“You’re a teacher.” Jimin says, confirming, although it’s supposed to sound like he’s asking. Jimin remembers Jeongguk’s dream to be a teacher. He remembers how it never wavered throughout uni when some of their friends switched lanes. He remembers Jeongguk wanting to put something better into the education system so that children could have a better experience in school than their generation did.
Jeongguk nods happily, a proud smile plastered on his face. “I heard you teach as well.”
He heard…? Jimin blinks once, twice. Suddenly his brain stops working on sending words to his tongue.
“From Taehyung-hyung,” Jeongguk explains. “We came here together and kind of talked about a lot of things, one of which he mentioned that you’re a professor now.”
“Associate professor.” Jimin corrects, clearing his throat, and finding himself some composure at last. He clearly doesn’t need to be thinking that Jeongguk asked about Jimin. “I am, yeah. Astronomy.”
They continue to talk, exchanging little life updates and whatnot. Though isn’t enough to fill all the missing pieces from the last seven years, Jimin gets a little bit of a grasp of what life has been like for Jeongguk. Jeongguk teaches Year 8, he still plays soccer once in a while, not professionally, just as a form of his hobby. He lives in Seoul, just like the rest of the friend group. Jimin learns that he started off his career in teaching by teaching Year 5, and slowly making his way up to Year 8 where he says he is most comfortable right now.
Somehow during the time Jeongguk tells him about all this, Jimin can’t help but think that Jeongguk still sounds the same. His voice still sounds so soft, even though it’s heavier now with all the years he has gone through, he somehow still sounds the same. A rush of nostalgia makes Jimin sigh. He used to love Jeongguk’s voice, just talking, or even singing– god, he was such a really good singer than he thought he was. He used to love Jeongguk’s soft voice against his ear, how the syllables sounded very delicate whenever he whispered in his ear– the sweet nothings, the things he would do for and to him, the ‘i love you’.
“What about you? What have you been doing for the last seven years?”
So Jimin tells him about how he moved to Japan shortly after he graduated to study some more, and spent quite some time there to get his Ph.D. before coming back to Korea. Jimin started off his teaching career by becoming an honorary professor before eventually taking on the role of associate professor until now. He, too, just like Jeongguk, still pursues dancing as his one and only hobby, though only performing for himself and a few crowds in town. He tells Jeongguk that he recently just got a pup… and so on.
Jimin might be crazy to think of this, but somehow he feels that they’re both looking at each other with what Jimin can only describe as a longing in their eyes. Now that they’re standing close next to each other, Jimin is getting reminded how Jeongguk has always looked as handsome as ever, and now he notices that Jeongguk has faint stubble. The cold weather always makes his cheeks flushed, and underneath the rosy tint are his freckles. Jimin always adored those freckles– used to kiss them all the time. His lips a shade of light scarlet, arched into a smile. There was a time when Jimin knew exactly how those lips tasted– sweet and honey-like. He used to know how it felt to be wrapped inside those arms, used to count his heartbeats just because.
Distant murmurs and laughter of their friends reach Jimin’s ears, and that is when they pull away from each other’s gaze, and away from each other– quite literally because both he and Jeongguk take some steps away. This time, though. Jimin feels something light simmer under his skin, a tint ray of hope, perhaps, but just barely.
After a while, they bid each other farewell, both looking reluctant. But the night is over and everyone is tired and cold. Bo needs some snuggles before bed, and Jimin doesn’t really know how to ride this nostalgia without feeling too much and too tight in his chest.
Jimin is about to walk towards the bus stop when Jeongguk shouts his name, so Jimin requests the bus driver to wait for a bit, thank God he’s kind enough to. Jimin watches Jeongguk run to him, a memory of an eighteen-year-old Jeon Jeongguk with his muddy rugby shirt and dirt all over his face and body running to Jimin flashes in his mind. Jeongguk used to pick Jimin up and smear dirt all over his clean clothes whenever Jimin would watch his match. An odd timing to have a memory resurface, but Jimin can’t help it.
“Hyung,” Jeongguk calls once again when he’s right in front of him.
“Jeongguk…,” Jimin somehow feels silly.
“I… uh…, is it okay… if we… you know, if we…” Jeongguk lets out a sigh before shaking his head and looks Jimin firmly in the eyes. “Can we be friends again?”
Jimin blinks once, twice. Jeongguk is panting from the jog he just did, his eyes searching Jimin’s face in– what Jimin dares to describe– hopefulness. Jeongguk wants them to be friends again. Jimin thinks back to the time they had spent getting close to each other before they started dating, how they were best of friends, and how Jimin had always treasured their friendship. Despite how sad and heartbreaking their goodbye was, Jimin can only remember all the good and beautiful parts of his friendship and/or relationship with Jeongguk.
They have grown in so many aspects of life now that almost a decade has passed. Jimin feels not a single hint of bitterness when he looks at Jeongguk, so he doesn’t see why not.
“Yeah. Yeah, of course. I’d like that.”
They end up exchanging phone numbers– quickly so because Jimin is already feeling bad for the bus driver and a few of the people on the bus waiting for him. Jimin sits down by the window, and he doesn’t miss the way Jeongguk stands still at the bus stop even long after Jimin’s bus has departed. Somehow this reminds him so much of back when he was fifteen when they first exchanged their contact with one another, not knowing a big change was coming their way once they turned seventeen and eighteen.
A flicker of hope is all that Jimin feels, and although he isn’t sure if he should hold on to that in the first place, he does.