Work Text:
I am sorry.
I am too.
Adaine, you're-
Sorry? You're sorry.
For what?
Aelwyn,
Once there was a time I thought of you as my sister. And that time came to pass.
I think it has, come to be again?
That you are my sister.
I can feel the sincerity-
You speak to me, I feel it. You are not the same person you were.
Or maybe you are, and the person you were is just.
Different, to what I believed.
...
You don't want to blame Mother and Father, I understand that.
I don't think that-
I can avoid it.
I can tell you, Aelwyn-
They, restricted you.
Emotionally.
And physically now, I guess.
It sounds like blame.
It doesn't have to be.
You can admit someone did something,
Without specifically intending your tone to be that of blaming.
Though I suppose that doesn't really mean much when,
I don't know.
When the one you speak to takes it in that way.
Conversations are-
A two-way street.
...
But I can't blame you for how you were raised.
Even the things I can logically blame you for, I-
I don't want to any more. You know?
Now that I've seen, I guess,
Behind the curtain. Looked through the window,
Seen the outside.
I can see you now. Your you, not the you they made.
It is a struggle to imagine myself as-
Anything but the product of what my parents made me,
Our parents, Aelwyn,
Our parents, yes,
Because that is me. That is who I take myself to be,
Or who I did for the longest time, at least.
You are more than a sum of your parts.
But I don't know if that's the proper way to use that saying.
I can appreciate it. I think I can read the intent.
You were never easy to read, but,
When you speak purely through thought.
It does shine through much easier.
I don't think you need me to tell you,
But I think of you much the same way.
You have grown beyond-
What they intended of you,
And I think you are becoming something,
Much more beautiful,
Than they could ever hope to be.
I do not feel beautiful.
But,
I am sure you don't either.
But it does mean a lot.
...
...
Aelwyn.
Yes?
I still feel,
Well.
It's complicated.
I have,
Time.
If not a sound mind, Adaine,
I have one that can listen,
And for your purposes,
I hope that is enough.
We'll have to talk about it,
Later.
Later when we get out.
And we will,
Aelwyn,
I hope you know that we will.
I can hope.
But it does occur to me, that,
I may not-
Deserve it, is what I am going for,
I think.
What you deserve is something we could have debated,
Say,
Several months ago,
What has happened is not equivalent to that,
I think, in fact,
That it is much worse.
I am,
I apologize for this.
I am very cold right now.
It's spring, so I would think,
Really, that it should be warmer.
I was not prepared for the change of seasons.
Though they do have a true winter there,
Solace was much warmer at all times.
Was it?
I,
Oh.
I struggle to recall.
It always was.
Oh.
If you forget something,
I will tell you.
I always will.
Thank you.
You don't have to thank me.
I am-
I do this of my own will,
For my own purposes,
And my purpose now is to help you.
To help both of us, I think.
The closer we are together, the more-
We share,
I think,
The better off we will be.
What were we,
Just talking.
Hm.
Adaine,
...
Aelwyn?
Adaine, have you ever,
Dreamed?
Once before.
Not long ago.
I think I dreamed,
Not long ago either.
And,
Adaine.
I dreamt of you,
Actually.
I do not recall what was said or done.
Though I think now,
Maybe,
Since I have been here so long,
That it was not a dream and rather a hallucination.
If we are still here two months yet,
I think you will begin to,
Hallucinate. As well.
I can only hope I will still be here to guide you,
If I can even manage that.
But I-
You,
...
It is hard to keep track of my thoughts,
I am sorry.
I understand,
I cannot remember,
What I did. Or what you did,
In the context of,
This hallucination. Dream.
Whatever I want to call it. I am,
Not really sure?
I do not remember,
I do not think I ever will. But,
I remember you.
It felt like it had been so long, since.
Since I last saw your face.
Adaine, the terror-
Of not knowing my own sister's face.
I fear I do not even now.
How long has it been?
Since last I saw you?
Only a day.
I think.
It is,
Hard to tell days apart.
I,
I don't think I would make it in here as long as you have.
You are stronger, Aelwyn, somehow.
I think,
Adaine, you are strong,
And I think you will only get stronger,
Okay?
I can hope so,
But between the two of us,
I really worry.
That I won't make it.
You will not die,
I will not die. I hope.
But my mind-
Aelwyn, you forget.
This is,
Just something that happens now,
As a result of circumstance.
I worry that I am just weaker, always,
And I have thought myself weaker, always.
It's scary.
Aelwyn,
...
Aelwyn.
Aelwyn?
Sorry, I,
I need to think,
More than I used to.
Before I speak.
I am, just,
I'm tired.
Adaine, I'm tired,
And I'm scared.
I'm scared too.
The best I can do,
Is pretend I am brave,
And maybe if I pretend well enough,
I will become brave.
I think,
We will have to pretend together.
Just for a while.
Something could happen soon.
Something could always happen.
It's just,
What will happen?
There's no way to say.
There's no way to know.
I guess, then,
You must not be a very good Oracle.
You are bullying me?
I am joking with you,
I believe.
Have we ever done this before?
You ask as if I would remember.
...
It is not as though it's a path I chose.
It's not,
Well.
I'm not afforded the freedom to just,
Scry under whichever grounds I please,
Especially under these conditions.
God, I.
...
I don't want this, Aelwyn.
I told you I'm scared. I wouldn't lie.
I'm terrified.
If I stay here I either become their pawn or die.
If I escape then what?
Then you are free.
That is not-
What do I do with freedom?
If only I can take you with me I'll,
I'll have a goal to achieve.
To your health. Your sanity.
That you think of me at a time like this,
...
... It is difficult to describe.
Even if I had, you know.
The full extent of,
Myself.
I don't think I could explain.
I wish,
I could tell you how much it means.
I wish that I could hold you.
I wish I started to be your sister much sooner.
There are,
Too many things going on.
I can't keep it all straight.
I.
Adaine,
Yes?
Promise me something.
Always.
If we get out.
If we do get out of here,
I,
I would love you to find a way,
To keep things quiet.
It's never silent here.
There is always sounds,
Wind and, footsteps and chanting, and,
When I am unlucky,
I can hear them fighting,
And at times, also,
Just.
Crashing metal.
Shattering,
Something fragile is always in arms reach,
I'll find a way.
If I can't then,
I don't know.
I'll stand guard over you while you sleep.
If only to keep your peace.
I'll do anything for you.
You shouldn't.
You,
I...
If it's too hard now,
Wait to say it until we're out.
Adaine,
I,
Won't remember.
...
Like everything else,
I'll,
Forget,
You haven't forgotten everything.
I wish I could.
I wish I,
I wish.
Aelwyn?
I want to forget.
I wish I could sleep and forget.