Chapter Text
“You want it that bad, huh? Then take it.”
The words pass over Eren like an Angel of Death, closing in around him at every angle. It’s a terrifying feeling, absolutely thrilling even, sending his soul soaring to heights he’s never imagined. His body shivers with an excitement that shakes the anxiety right out of him, and any second guessing he may have done, has been drowned out by the booze sitting warm in his belly.
He kisses Levi hard, nipping at his lips before languidly running his tongue over the little bites, his hands traversing the soft curves and rigid muscles of Levi’s body.
To Eren’s surprise, there’s no push back this time. Levi doesn’t rip the control out of his grasp, or start a tug of war that makes him fight to keep it. He shifts in his position to get more comfortable, and pulls Eren in. Presses himself closer. But those are the only movements he makes.
The implication sparks flames in Eren’s veins, and the cold of their snowed-in cabin can’t reach him anymore. Maybe it’s the boozy fog settling over his mind, or the shared body heat, but the ice that’s held Eren captive since they’ve been here just melts away. Like it was never there to begin with.
“Levi,” he slurs against his lips. “Want you. I want you so bad.”
“I know, brat.”
Levi’s voice has always been able to cut right through him. Whether he’s giving orders, or just having a casual conversation over a cup of tea, that smooth baritone is able to both set Eren on edge, and soothe him off of it. All at once, it hits him like the Walls just collapsed on top of his chest, but he’s weightless.
Eren pushes forward, stumbling on unsteady arms and legs until Levi’s laid under him. And Levi just lets him. Spreads his legs so Eren can slot himself between them, and helps to keep him steady on the way down. His hands are in Eren’s hair once they’re settled, tugging hard enough for Eren to feel the slightest sting in his scalp.
Levi wants this, too. He wants it just as much, if not more.
Eren’s hands shake as he starts unbuttoning Levi’s shirt, his mind hazy with drunken desperation. He’s pulling too hard, getting frustrated as his fingers fumble around the buttons.
He’s about to start ripping the wrinkled fabric when Levi stops him, catching his hands in both of his.
“Slow down, Eren. Breathe.”
Eren stills, reluctantly obeying the pause Levi’s setting in place. He thinks he’s missed his opportunity, that he’s messed up so badly that Levi will either stop this completely, or take the power back from him. But he doesn’t. He holds Eren’s hands in a tight grip that slowly begins to loosen again, and breathes with him.
“Relax,” he whispers, low and husky, his lips kiss-bruised. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Eren thinks he might cry. There’s a burn in his eyes that spreads out all over his body, and he has to blink hard to make it go away.
“I don’t know what you’re planning to do,” Levi continues. “But we’re going to need that oil. Go get it.”
It takes Eren a moment to process before he shakes his head. “I have it.”
Levi raises an eyebrow, eyes piercing. “You have it? What, you brought it with you from the bedroom? We were moments away from having to use your Titan to escape from a massive snowstorm, but you couldn’t forget to grab the oil just in case?”
Eren’s face burns red hot at the accusation, his head shaking even faster. “No! No, it was in the blankets! I found it when you gave them to me the first time!”
He’s stumbling over his defense, the quick movements of his head making his thoughts and words swim over each other. And Levi’s just staring up at him, deadpan, that piercing look in his eyes searching for a truth that Eren’s trying to give him.
“How convenient.”
“I know, right?!”
Levi’s expression says that he doesn’t believe him, but he doesn’t argue again, and Eren starts to ease down from the defensive.
“My point still stands. What did you do with it?”
Eren nods in the direction of the fireplace. “It’s over there.”
There’s a brief moment of silence that passes, and Eren can’t tell what Levi’s thinking. There’s a slight frown to his lips, his brows pinching into a soft scowl, and when he speaks again the words draw out of him slowly.
“You put a bottle of oil,.. in the fireplace?”
“Not in it, just—”
“Eren,” Levi cuts him off. “You put the oil by the fire?”
“Yeah.”
Eren says it like it’s obvious, because it is. He’s not quite sure what Levi’s not understanding about it, or why it looks like he’s struggling not to punch him, but it’s really not that difficult to grasp.
That shit was cold when he used it on Eren earlier, and the temperature in the cabin has severely dropped since then. Placing it by the fire was the perfect thing to do to warm it up!
“Eren,” Levi says again, a little harsher this time. “If you burn me with that shit, I’ll hand you over to the MPs myself.”
It’s an empty threat. One that makes Eren roll his eyes from how ridiculous it is. He pulls his hands out of Levi’s grasp to cross his arms, and levels Levi with a look that would be pretty intimidating if he wasn’t drunk off his ass.
“It’s not gonna be that hot. I told you, it’s not in the fire.”
“Pick it up, then.”
“Fine!”
Eren grumbles under his breath as he pulls away from Levi completely, and reaches over to the bottle of oil directly in front of the hearth. His fingers wrap around the glass, and it burns. Gods, does it burn. But if Eren shows any weakness, or if he drops the bottle, that’ll just prove that Levi was right.
Levi rolls onto his side, propping his head on his hand to watch for Eren’s next move. “Well?”
He asks like he already knows, and he probably does.
“It’s fine!” But Eren says it too loud, and too fast, and it’s taking everything in him to keep his hand around the bottle.
Then, there’s a sound that Eren’s never heard before. A soft, quiet sound that makes his heart jump into his throat. His chest squeezes tight, and it hurts in the most beautiful way. The burning bottle in his hand is forgotten for a moment.
Because that soft, quiet sound is coming from Levi. It’s a little rumbly in the chest, like thunder heard from miles away, but he’s not trying to stifle it. He’s not trying to hide the upward pull of his lips, or bury that sweet, glinting light shining in his eyes. Levi is laughing. He’s laughing at Eren. Because of Eren.
“You’re such a brat,” he says through a breathy chuckle, looking at Eren with a fondness so warm, so comforting, that Eren almost forgets what they were doing.
Eren doesn’t need another drop of alcohol for the rest of his life. If it were possible, he could get drunk on moments like this. Levi’s laugh, that look in his eyes, he’d drink it all down until he blacks out, just to wake up and do it all over again. If only it were possible.
“You–” Eren swallows around a lump forming in his throat, and he takes a moment to process what he wants to say. He tries not to slur, or stumble over his words, because Levi deserves to hear it exactly how it should be said. “You really are so beautiful, Levi.”
Levi’s smiling expression slackens in surprise, but the fondness in his gaze never fades.
He sits up suddenly, picking up the blankets that fell off of Eren’s shoulders at some point. He starts laying them out, making the place in front of the fire more comfortable, and Eren swears he can see the softest shade of pink that’s risen to his cheeks. Levi would probably say it was from the cold, but that would be a lie.
“Get over here, brat,” he grumbles, settling down on top of the blankets before beginning to unbutton his shirt. “Or did you change your mind about what you want?”
Eren shakes his head, quickly crawling over to rejoin Levi. There’s steam coming from the palm of his hand that’s still holding onto the bottle, but he can’t feel the pain or the healing. He can’t really feel anything at this point, other than the wholeness that comes from being with Levi.
Levi’s just finishing with the buttons when Eren slips his hands under the fabric to pull the shirt off of him. Without thinking, his touch begins to wander. Traveling the expanse of his chest, his stomach, fingers ghosting along every scar in quiet, grateful regard. Grateful, because every one of these scars were once open wounds. Wounds that could have been fatal, but weren’t. There could have been hundreds of times where Levi left this world, but he didn’t. And if Eren has anything to say about it, he won’t. Not ever.
Eren gets a little lost in the scars, leaning forward to press his lips to the ones he can see. The ones he’s already touched. Levi shivers against his mouth, a breath hitching in his throat, and Eren takes that as permission to keep going.
He parts his lips around one in particular. A deep, jagged scar going down from Levi’s collarbone to the top of his ribs. His tongue darts out to lick along the outer line of it, as if he can soothe a pain that Levi doesn’t even feel anymore.
Levi’s fingers bury in his hair, his body jolting at the feeling of Eren’s tongue on his chest.
“Eren.”
It’s a breathless gasp, a need for air that doesn’t quite reach the lungs. It’s not a request, or an order. It’s just Eren’s name, but it holds so much weight to it. It holds more than Eren ever thought it could.
Eren looks up at Levi through his lashes, still licking at the scar, and Levi’s gaze meets his with an intensity that is an order.
He moves then, up Levi’s chest, his neck, across his jaw. Anywhere Levi will let him go. Thinking back to how Levi kisses him, he hovers just over Levi’s lips before licking into his mouth, giving him a taste of the booze still lingering on his tongue. And the way Levi moves into it, the way he reaches down between them to start working on getting them out of their pants, makes Eren’s grip tighten around the bottle of oil.
There’s a lot of movement, a lot of jostling around, before they’re both settled back into place. Their clothes have been removed, and Eren feels relieved that he doesn’t feel as nervous as he did earlier. Maybe it’s the alcohol, or that Levi’s not looming over him this time. Whatever it is, Eren’s too excited to care.
Because Levi’s laid out beneath him, his cock already flushed and hard, already leaking pearls of precum that Eren has to force himself not to lick.
For a moment, he just takes in the view. He teases Levi’s cock with touches that are barely there, watching his hips twitch and his fingers curl around the blankets. And he wonders how he looked to Levi. If he was this alluring, this stunning; nearly angelic. He doesn’t think he would have been, but fuck, he wishes he was.
“You just gonna sit there and stare, brat?”
Eren shakes his head, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “No, Captain. Sorry.”
He pops the cork of the bottle, but it sloshes out and spills against Levi’s abdomen.
Eren’s about to spew apology after apology. The bottle was still fairly hot, and he wanted to test the oil inside to be sure it wouldn’t burn them. But the way Levi jerks, moaning out a string of hissed curses, and the way his hips buck and his muscles tense, kills whatever apologies Eren had to offer.
The oil draws thin red lines of heat across Levi’s chilled, pale skin, and Eren feels that hungry desire within him rearing its head and gnashing its teeth.
“Fuck… Shit.” Levi’s chest is heaving, his pupils blown wide with something feral. “Eren, what the hell?”
But Eren doesn’t say anything. He couldn’t, even if he tried. He doesn’t know if he should prepare to get flung across the room or not, but he’ll have to find out. He’ll have to take the risk.
He tilts the bottle down toward Levi, dripping another thin line across his chest.
Eren’s not sure what he was expecting to happen, but he gets the same reaction as before. The same jolting twitches and hissing, breathless moans. He gets exactly what he wants, and he’s certain to get it again.
He continues pouring the hot oil across Levi’s skin, painting bright red, burning loops and lines from his chest to his hips as if he were an artist creating a masterpiece. And Levi tries to hold back. Tries to silence the moans and the growls. Tries to hide the fact that his cock is only leaking more, his precum dripping down the shaft to collect with the oil pooling on his groin. He tries not to tremble, not to buck his hips when the oil splashes against his nipples, but it’s no use. Like this, Levi can’t hide anything from Eren anymore.
“Fuck, Eren,” Levi hisses, eyes piercing through his soul. “Get the fuck on with it, brat.”
“But you like this, right?” Eren asks innocently, but his gaze is just as sharp with something knowing. “You like it a lot.”
Levi makes a sound that sits somewhere between a groan and a growl, jaw clenched. “Shut the fuck—ah!”
Eren pours the last of the oil over Levi’s cock, watching as Levi shakes all over, his face twisting into an expression of pure, agonized need. Before Levi even has the briefest chance to start yelling at him, Eren wraps his hand around his cock and starts stroking, being sure to spread the oil all over.
When he’s certain that Levi’s ready, Eren shifts to straddle his hips, lining Levi’s cock up before sinking down onto it. He doesn’t give Levi a second to breathe, and he barely gives himself time to readjust. He wants, he needs to feel that fullness again and he doesn’t care what he has to do to get it.
However, before he can move any further, before he can hardly even feel that beautiful burning stretch, Levi’s grabbing his hips. Keeping him completely still.
“Dumbass,” Levi pants. “Slow down.”
Eren whines, impatient and sick with desperation. His own cock is throbbing, flushed bright red and begging to be touched.
“Levi, I… I want— I need you.”
He wiggles his hips, tries to grind down on what’s already inside of him. But it’s not enough. He’s still so empty, only about two inches of Levi’s cock prodding inside, and it’s not hitting that perfect spot that makes Eren see fucking stars.
Levi’s grip on his hips tightens so much that Eren thinks he may bruise. He hopes he does. He hopes that tomorrow he can look down when he’s changing and see the marks that Levi leaves on his body. Titan healing powers be damned.
“Goddamnit, brat.” Levi huffs out a breath. “I’m right fucking here. I already told you, I’m not going anywhere. So take it slow.”
Eren’s teeth clench, but he nods, swallowing down a defeated whimper. “Y-yes, sir.”
“Good.”
Eren almost immediately breaks at the mild praise, almost bats Levi’s hands away and sinks down the rest of the way. But if he wants more—and he does, more than anything—he’ll have to play along and follow the rules.
One painful, hellish minute passes, and Levi’s hands begin to lessen their hold. It’s just at the edge of being too much, but Eren makes it through mostly unscathed. His legs are shaking, and his heart is pounding, but when he’s certain that Levi won’t stop him again, he very slowly continues to ease down.
His back arches the more of Levi’s cock he takes in, and his eyes threaten to roll back in his head, but he forces them open. He doesn’t want to miss the chance to see Levi come quietly apart with him.
“Eren,” Levi gasps, eyes trained on the point where their bodies meet. “Fuck,.. Eren.”
Pride swells in his chest. Levi’s being way more vocal now than he was earlier. It can’t be from the alcohol, he only had a few sips. So then, what is it? Eren wants to know so that he can do it again.
Eren’s got him all the way in now, and he has to give himself a second to breathe. To revel in the stretch and the fullness.
“Feels good,” he whispers, panting just as hard as Levi is. “It feels so good. So good to…”
To feel wanted, he thinks. To feel whole and loved.
It seems like Levi is thinking the same thing, to a certain extent. Like he’s feeling the same wholeness, searching for the same stars that Eren is as he grinds his hips up against Eren’s ass.
“Yeah,” he pants, his fingers digging into Eren’s skin with that bruising grip again. “Fuck, brat, move.”
Eren’s head is spinning, but he still manages a nod. He rolls his hips experimentally, and feels the tip of Levi’s cock nudge against that little bundle of nerves that makes his toes curl. Heat flashes behind his eyes, in the pit of his stomach, and he has to bite back a scream that trembles down into a breathy moan.
He lifts up his hips, shivering against the slide of Levi’s cock, and his thighs shake from the effort before he starts to drop himself back down. The feelings that rise up within him from every move and motion, and the view he has of Levi from above, set his bones on fire. The heat of the oil, of the hearth right next to them, makes Eren burn hotter and brighter, until he’s afraid there will be nothing left of him.
It feels so good. So good that there are tears welling in his eyes and slipping down his cheeks before he can stop them. And the alcohol still buzzing in his veins only makes it more intense.
His pace is sloppy and erratic, and they’ve barely even started. But Levi doesn’t look like he’s fairing any better, glistening with sweat despite the cold, jaw clenched around moans he’s forcing back down his throat. He moves with Eren in a much steadier rhythm, the thrusts of his hips more deliberate and slower in the chase.
Eren’s swaying on top of him, barely keeping a hold on his balance. He has to lean down over Levi, his hands balling up in the blankets on either side of his head, just to stay mostly upright. Like this, his cock sits heavy on Levi’s stomach, his own precum striping across his pale skin.
Levi grabs his chin, forcing Eren’s gaze to his. “Fuck, you look a mess.”
Eren feels his cock twitch, the tight walls of his hole squeezing around Levi’s. He wants to say something, but he’s too far gone. He can’t hear his own thoughts over his moans and the loud slapping of skin against skin when their bodies meet. He can’t feel his tongue, or remember how to make it work. He can’t form words besides Levi’s name, and he can barely say that.
“You think I’m beautiful, brat? Have you ever looked at yourself? Do I need to get you a goddamn mirror?” Levi continues, his voice strained with pleasure, and Eren can hear that he’s burning, too. He can smell the smoke. He can taste the ashes.
Eren’s losing his grip – on himself, on Levi, on reality. He’s drifting high into the clouds, and his body is moving all on its own. Pulling up and pushing down, over and over, faster and faster, and Levi’s not helping.
“So fucking pretty,” he grunts, bucking up against Eren, and maybe he’s just moving on instinct now, too. “But you're prettiest when you cum on my cock.”
Eren makes a sound that he doesn’t know how to name, and his hips start to stutter. “Levi… Levi, Levi, ah!”
Levi grabs him harder, lifting Eren before slamming him back down, grinding them together in a way that knocks the air out of Eren’s lungs.
Eren collapses, clinging onto Levi and humping back onto his cock as best as he can. His own cock is trapped between them, and the new friction against it has his eyes rolling to the back of his head. He chokes on every breath he tries to inhale, and his mouth is hanging open against Levi’s.
“Go ahead then, Eren. Cum.”
Levi growls the words, licking into Eren’s mouth to swallow down the cries and moans pouring out of him.
Eren’s body draws up tight, trembling all over as Levi hits that perfect spot. The stars he’d been chasing explode behind his eyes, crashing down into the world around him. He thrusts down against Levi’s abdomen, fucking his cock against the friction of his skin as he cums. And Levi just keeps fucking him through it until he finds his own release. Until he’s filling Eren with his own stars.
It takes longer than he thought it would for Eren to catch his breath again. Maybe because there’s no storm now to rip him out of the afterglow. There’s no threat lingering outside that rushes him back down to earth. He has time now to just revel in the moment. To feel that Levi hasn’t pulled out of him yet, keeping him full while their muscles loosen and the haze fades from their minds.
He’s still clinging to Levi, still on top of him. Wrapped around him. Eren curls in even more, laying his head in the space between Levi’s shoulder and neck.
“Levi,” he gasps, the air still feeling a little too thin. “I feel so good. I feel perfect.”
There’s a beat of silence, and Eren wonders for a moment if Levi fell asleep. He couldn’t blame him if he did, because he remembers how he’d passed out earlier in the night - and how Levi teased him for it. If he really did fall asleep, Eren silently vows to get some pay back.
But then he feels Levi move against him, turning his head to press the softest kiss to Eren’s temple.
“You are perfect.”
Eren’s skin is still warmly flushed, but it grows an even darker shade of red now. “O-oh.”
He wants to say more, but what would he say? Before meeting Levi, Eren never had much of an issue putting his thoughts to words. He’d always had a big mouth, and it never failed to get him into trouble. He wasn’t afraid to make his feelings known about anything, that’s why it had been so hard to keep the true level of his adoration for Levi a secret.
But now, Levi can silence him with just a few words, or a touch, or a look in his eyes. He has the ability to jumble all of Eren’s thoughts until he can’t make sense of them. And if he can’t make sense of them, how is he supposed to say them out loud without sounding like an idiot?
Levi would probably say that he sounds like an idiot anyway. Or maybe he wouldn’t. Eren’s not so sure about anything anymore, especially when it comes to Levi.
There is something on the tip of his tongue. Something soft and sweet, just waiting to be said. Waiting to be heard.
“We’ll sleep here tonight,” Levi says, and his hand is moving against Eren’s back. “We’ll move the mattress in front of the fire tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
Eren closes his eyes. He can feel the thump of Levi’s heart, the slow rise and fall of his every breath against his own chest.
Levi shifts, helping Eren to roll off of him and settle against his side, closest to the fire.
“Get under the blankets, Eren.”
“Levi.”
Their eyes meet, and Eren smiles with that same fondness that Levi had shown him earlier. Be it the booze, or the intimacy, or just Eren being himself, he speaks again without thinking too much about it.
“I love you.”
Soft and sweet, no longer waiting to be said, to be heard.