Chapter Text
Many months ago. Somewhere between fourteen and sixteen. Whatever the case, it had been over a year.
It had become almost like a chore at this point. Every Friday night after getting home from school, Mike would bum a ride from Nancy out to the cabin to see El. It wasn’t that hard getting Nancy to drive him. He claimed it was less conspicuous, and she agreed, but Mike knew she liked seeing El too. Half of the time she would even stop at McDonald’s to pick up dinner for her.
Every Friday night, Mike would go see El at the cabin and they would spend their time doing whatever she felt like doing with her weekly allotted human interaction, especially since Hopper didn’t want anyone else out there, and even was reluctant to let Mike go.
But it would be good for her, Mike overheard Joyce explaining. El was a teenage girl, and she couldn’t be cooped up alone, working and training. She needed some time to be a girl.
And so it began. Once a week without fail, Mike went to see El until curfew.
He liked it. Or rather, he did like it before it became exhausting. El would smile upon seeing him. They would hug and share a kiss and then play some board game or watch a movie or two. That part was easy. Mike liked hanging out with El, just as much as he did with all of his friends.
Except that was the word he always got hung up on. Friends.
Mike and El weren’t just friends. They were boyfriend and girlfriend, but outside of the hello and goodbye kiss they shared, it didn’t really seem that way anymore. Sometimes, Mike could tell El wanted to do something that proved it, the way they used to make out in her room with the door all the way shut just to annoy the hell out of Hopper.
There was no one in the cabin during their Friday nights. They could have done anything. Instead, they played Monopoly before El forced Mike to watch Pretty in Pink with her because one time Max said it was her “guilty pleasure” while sitting on opposite ends of the couch. They chatted and laughed and maybe Mike could count what they did as flirting, or maybe not. He had a hard time distinguishing what was so special about El these days that his other friends didn’t already have.
Like clockwork, he arrived at the cabin. He didn’t kiss her this time and she never initiated, not since moving away and then back again.
He went inside while Nancy gave El a hug and said when she’d be back to pick Mike up, same time as always.
He found his usual seat at the table. El had pulled out Aggravation. It wasn’t her favorite, but Mike knew she liked the name.
It was silent when El came in and took her own seat across the table. She didn’t open the box right away like she usually did. She didn’t even look at Mike.
“You didn’t kiss me,” El said quietly in that voice that always made Mike feel like he was doing something wrong.
“Sorry,” Mike said automatically. “I’ve been in my own head all week.”
More like all month, he thought, but didn’t dare say.
“You don’t love me,” El said, slightly stronger.
“What?” Mike said, taken aback. Hadn’t they gone over this already? “Of course I love you.” He made sure to say it too. Because he did. He loved her.
“Then why didn’t you kiss me?” El asked.
“Because…” Mike said, but he didn’t know the answer. “I… don’t know.”
There was no use in lying. El wouldn’t let him get away with it.
El tilted her head slightly, as though trying to read Mike’s mind. He nearly let her, hoping that maybe she could make sense of why he would rather be anywhere else right now. Anywhere else than with his girlfriend.
“You do love me,” El said after a second, “but not like a girlfriend.”
“That’s not…” Mike started. “I’m not… I don’t…”
El put her hand on Mike’s, stopping him in his tracks. It sent shocks through his body, like she was forcing his thoughts to slow down long enough for him to read them.
“No,” Mike said, embarrassed. “I don’t think I do.”
“Okay,” El said. She removed her hand and then went for the game box. She started taking the top off and pulling out the board and pieces to set it up.
Mike sat completely still. It must have been a test.
“Since you picked the movie last week,” El said, counting out the pieces. Red for her, and blue for Mike, “I want to watch The Princess Bride.”
“What?” Mike said.
“The Princess Bride,” El said, meeting Mike’s eyes. “It’s about a man searching for his true love and th–”
“No, I know the movie,” Mike said. “I mean, aren’t you mad at me?”
“Because you don’t love me like a girlfriend,” El said.
“Yes,” Mike said.
El paused, thinking about it briefly. At one point, Mike thought he understood her, but he learned recently that he only understood a small part of her, the part of her that revolved around him.
Maybe that was where they went wrong. Maybe that was why he couldn’t find it in him to love her like that.
But no, that didn’t feel right either. Mike was so proud of El and who she was. And he did love her. He never wanted anything to hurt her, wanted to tear down every single “missing person” poster he saw around town, wanted to fight anyone that said a word against her. Yet, there was something lingering that he couldn’t place.
Maybe he never loved her like a girlfriend.
“I’m sad,” El said, “but not mad. I cannot make you love me, but you’re my friend. Right?”
“Yes,” Mike said easily. “Yes, I’ll always be your friend.”
“Then I can be sad,” El said. “But I’ll be okay so long as you are still my friend.”
She smiled softly, and for the first time since he had met her, Mike didn’t have any urge to kiss her over it.
It was an unspoken agreement not to tell anyone. Mike didn’t think to say anything and El didn’t have anyone to tell, and so it went unsaid.
Nancy figured it out almost immediately, the drive out to the cabin quieter than usual. Mike had come home with Will, excited to watch the weird indie horror movie they checked out from the video store when she stopped him to remind him that he already had plans.
“You don’t have to go anymore,” Nancy had said. “Just tell her.”
“But I do want to,” Mike said.
It wasn’t a lie, per se, but maybe not the whole truth. He liked spending time with El, but he would have preferred watching a movie with Will more.
Will figured it out after about a month.
Mike came home one Friday and sulked up to his room. Will followed, likely because they usually hung out in the basement until Joyce forced them to go to bed.
Mike flopped on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. The door opened without a knock. The bed sagged down at the end where Will sat himself, but Mike didn’t look down at him, choosing instead to watch his ceiling fan spin idly.
“She dumped you, huh?” Will said after a second.
“No,” Mike admitted. “I think I actually dumped her.”
“You think?” Will said. He shifted his position, and Mike propped himself up on his elbows.
“We’re just friends now,” Mike said with a shrug. He didn’t feel like getting into it. Having to explain that he loved El like a friend and after hanging out with her as just a friend made him start to realize he never loved her like a girlfriend. He didn’t think he ever had any romantic feelings for her at all.
Will eyed him, but just nodded. “If you’re just friends now, you think I could come too? I want to hang out with El, too.”
Mike smiled. “Fine,” he said. “But you have to ask Hop.”
Will sighed. “I’ll get my mom to do it.”
There was a long pause before Will got up and left. Mike figured he could tell he didn’t want to talk right now.
Two hours earlier they were watching Ghostbusters.
El had wanted to watch it, but it gave Mike a bad taste in his mouth. He didn’t tell her.
Not until she asked.
“You’re sad,” she said.
“It’s hard to explain.”
“Then try.”
“We dressed up as the Ghostbusters for Halloween…” And he explained.
“You worry about him. About Will.”
“All the time.”
“He’s your best friend. That’s normal.”
“Yeah. Sure.”
“Do you want to watch a different movie? I think Hopper has some old ones in the closet.”
“Sorry.”
“Do not say sorry for being sad.”
Mike tried to protest, but El had already ejected the movie and got up to see what else they had.
Many months later but still many months before Holly Wheeler disappeared. Mike had lost all track of time honestly. All he knew was that he took his jacket off because it was warm on the bike ride home.
Will had wanted to show El Creature from the Black Lagoon because she said “There’s no way it’s that scary.”
And Will had looked at Mike because they both knew they slept with the lights on for a week after watching it without permission when they were in third grade. Jonathan had rented it and Joyce was working late. And the thing about 13-year old babysitters is they don’t give two shits about nightmares.
As expected, El was hiding behind her hands, watching between her fingers.
Will leaned over at one point, his hand coming up to cup his mouth to whisper in Mike’s ear, and his fingers brushed along Mike’s chin. An accident.
“Told you,” Will said, but Mike almost didn’t hear it.
A pillow hit Mike over the head since he was the unfortunate middle spot on the couch.
“No secrets!” El said.
Will leaned around Mike to grab the pillow and throw it back at her, and Mike lost his breath. He had been doing that a lot lately.
“I was just telling him how big of a baby you are,” Will shot back.
“No,” El said, “you are the baby.”
Mike slid off the couch and grabbed the remote sitting on the coffee table to pause the movie. It was a habit by now, knowing they wouldn’t stop until they got it all out. Sometimes it was hard to believe they weren’t blood related.
“You’re the one hiding behind your hands,” Will said.
“Shut up!” El said. She got onto her knees to hit him with the pillow, gripping it tightly so that Will couldn’t grab it from her. “You show me a scary movie and then you will leave me alone all night.”
Will held up a hand to block her attacks, but laughed all the same. “You said you wouldn’t be scared.”
“Yes, I was lying,” El said, landing a shot directly across Will’s head.
“I thought friends don’t lie,” Mike said slyly. For as much as he enjoyed the show, he had to get his two cents in.
“Mind your own business, Michael,” El said, this time choosing him as the target for her blows.
“God,” Mike said, batting away the pillow. “What are you? My dad?”
El sat back slightly. “Fine,” she said. “I am scared. But I wanted to watch Star Wars.”
“We’ve seen Star Wars like five times,” Will said.
“And we will watch it one hundred more,” El said with a devious smile. Without warning, she grabbed the remote from Mike and hit the eject button, effectively stopping the movie.
“That’s not fair,” Will said, though he must have known El always got her way.
Instead of a graceful response, El stuck her tongue out at him and stood up to switch the movies out.
Mike couldn’t help himself. He leaned slightly into Will’s leg, his shoulder lining up perfectly, to get his attention.
“It’s just cause she’s got a crush on Harrison Ford,” Mike said, just loud enough for El to overhear.
“No I do not,” El said without looking back, lining up the tape to slide into the VCR.
“She does,” Will said.
He didn’t move his leg when Mike realized they had kept contact, and when El started the movie, Mike stayed on the floor for fear that moving even slightly would make Will realize their bodies were still connected.
It was a strange feeling, liking that connection so much. But Mike didn’t care to think about it.
They were watching Raiders of the Lost Arc when El decided she hated her hair. She eyed Marion on screen and flipped her fingers through the tips of her extremely short hair.
It was hard to know what to say about things like that. Mike usually relied on Will but he was stuck at home because he was sick and Joyce forbade him from going out tonight. But El had spent years growing it out to look like a normal girl and forget her time in the rainbow room only for it to get shaved off yet again.
"Stop that," Mike said, reaching to stop El from practically tugging on the ends of her hair.
"Why?" El said dismissively. "I hate it."
"Because," Mike said, wracking his brain. "I think you still look good, even when your hair is that short."
El hesitated. "You are just saying that to make me feel better."
"Is it working?" Mike asked.
"No," El mumbled and looked away from him.
Mike lost himself there. It wasn't that hard to be El's friend when they were doing things together, but when she got caught up in her feelings, Mike was certainly out of his element. She wasn't like any of his other friends. Guys didn't seem to need as much reassurance as girls did, and so Mike ran out of encouraging words very quickly with her.
"What if..." Mike started, and then stopped because he was sure it was a bad idea. "What if I show you it's not that bad?"
El looked back at him, her eyes shining. "What are you talking about?"
That was how they ended up in the bathroom with a pair of scissors. Mike faced away from the mirror, sitting on the chair they brought in with El wielding the scissors gently over his head.
“Are you sure?” El said.
“Totally,” Mike said, forcing himself to sound happier than he was.
For one, his hair was now past his shoulders, a look he had been enjoying for a while now. His dad said he looked like a hippie, and his mom said he looked homeless, so maybe that was why he liked it so much, but it was just hair at the end of the day.
But two, he wasn’t sure if he trusted the scissors in El’s control.
“Chop it off,” Mike said. “I’ll show you that short hair looks good. Just like yours.”
“No,” El said, a smile creeping onto her face. “You said that you wanted to know how I felt and so I am cutting all of it off. You are starting over.”
“I did not agree to that,” Mike said.
“Too late,” El said. She grabbed a chunk of Mike’s hair and cut it only about half an inch from his scalp.
“Careful!” Mike said, pulling back. He watched his hair fall to the floor. “Ah, shit.”
Too late now, and El was laughing so he couldn’t back out even if he wanted to.
Nancy nearly lost it when she picked him up.
At home, Mike debated whether or not to wander into the basement, wanting to avoid anyone else seeing his hair until the morning, but he did anyway. He’d have to hear about it sooner or later.
Will flipped over on the couch as he heard the steps coming down the stairs.
“Thank god you’re–” he started and then sat up as soon as he caught sight of Mike.
“Let’s hear it,” Mike said, standing in front of him.
“No,” Will said. “It looks good.”
“Fucking liar,” Mike said, and flopped down on the other couch, throwing his feet up on the table.
Will smiled and relaxed down to prop himself with his elbow. “You get your hair caught in a lawnmower or what?”
“El was feeling… insecure,” Mike said carefully.
“How nice of you to make her a wig,” Will said. He dropped back down to a laying position.
“Should I let you sleep?” Mike asked. He was trying to be nice, but he hoped Will would say no. Mike had grown very used to Will's presence on Friday nights.
“Please, no,” Will said. “Put on a movie or something. I’m tired of sleeping.”
Mike smiled, though Will couldn’t see, and turned on the TV.
The first time it happened, Mike hadn’t meant for it to happen. It was an accident.
He hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and El had wanted to watch Casablanca. It would have been interesting if Mike hadn’t been so tired, so he let his eyes close.
And when he opened them, his head was resting nicely on Will’s shoulder.
He quickly picked it up, acting like it didn’t make his heart race when he realized that Will didn’t seem to mind.
The second time wasn’t an accident. Mike wasn’t even that tired.
But he yawned anyway because they were watching Star Wars again and he didn’t care about missing it, and leaned his head on Will’s shoulder.
The third time, he didn’t even fall asleep. He was pretending because he wanted to see how long before Will said something.
“Is he sleeping again?” El whispered.
“Yeah,” Will said softly. “It’s cute.”
Oh? Was he?
“He needs to go to bed sooner,” El said.
Will didn’t say anything, and Mike knew it was because half of the time they stayed up in his room playing chess. Mike didn’t even like chess that much, but Will did, and he wasn’t going to waste the days while his best friend lived in his basement.
Mike remembered the exact day and time he made an irreversible realization. June 12th. Just after 7 p.m. The grandfather clock in the hall had just chimed.
Everyone was sitting at dinner and the conversation had been vaguely about summer break and Holly had been listing off all the books she wanted to read and how she and her friend were going to have a little book club every week.
Mike loved listening to her ramble, even if he didn’t know what she was talking about half of the time. He never liked reading unless it was research for a project.
She didn’t seem to be done talking, but Ted made a sound like a snort, stopping her midsentence.
“Sounds like you have a full summer,” Ted said offhandedly. He turned his head. “Boys? You’re sixteen now. Thinking about getting jobs?”
Mike shared a look with Will. No, they hadn’t been thinking about that at all. They had actually been planning a long and complicated campaign that would take the entire summer. They were looking forward to long hours in the basement yelling about initiative rolls and groaning about critical fails.
“Yeah, maybe,” Mike said, long ago having figured out how to please his father just enough to get him off his case.
“You should think about it,” Ted said. “If you had some money, you might be able to treat that little girlfriend of yours.”
“Right,” Mike said.
He didn’t miss Nancy rolling her eyes from across the table.
“What about you, Will?” Ted said, not catching the air of the room. “Any girls you got your eye on?”
Mike internally winced, the thought unbearable and unfathomable.
Will shared a look with Jonathan, something incomprehensible that Mike would have to decode later.
“Um… not really,” Will said politely.
Karen gave Ted a look and the topic was dropped, but not before the conversation had fallen greatly, not before the pit grew in Mike’s stomach to double the size it was before.
They finished dinner and Mike and Will went down to the basement, no plans but a quick escape. Down the stairs and they both flopped on the couch, minimal space between them because Mike had gotten into the habit of being as physically close to Will as possible. It felt safe and Will never moved away.
Mike tensed at the sound of steps down the stairs, but it was just Nancy followed closely by Jonathan. She stood in front of them and crossed her arms.
“Dad’s not wrong,” she said. “You should get a job.”
“Don’t want to,” Mike said.
“And if I force you to start paying me gas money?”
“Then I’ll ask mom for money.”
“I can probably get something for both of you at the station.”
“I’d rather jump off a bridge.”
Nancy huffed, resigned to her argument falling on deaf ears.
“Fine,” she said. And then she softened. “I didn’t want to say anything at dinner, but it reminded me… Will, I heard that Stacy Miller’s sister has a crush on you.”
“She does?” Will said, his eyebrows going up.
Mike's stomach flipped. He didn’t want Will to get involved with any girl. He wanted Will all to himself this summer.
“But Steph’s, like, a cheerleader,” Will said.
Stephanie Miller was Will’s lab partner. He never talked about her except when he talked about class. Mike had never thought twice about her. Just another cheerleader likely overly relying on her lab partner to do most of the work.
“So?” Nancy said. “Cheerleaders can like nerds.”
“That’s not…” Will started. “I’m good.”
“You’re good?” Nancy said. She couldn’t believe it. Half of the boys in their grade would never turn down a chance to go out with Stephanie Miller, or any of her friends.
Jonathan put a hand on her arm, tugging her slightly to suggest she should drop it. One look and she did, following him back up the stairs to leave the boys alone.
Mike sat in the silence for a moment, and without thinking, he closed the gap between them, pressing their shoulders together. The warmth from Will’s body spread through Mike, lighting a fire inside his chest.
He breathed a sigh of relief.
“I can’t believe you’re turning down Stephanie,” Mike said, trying to sound normal but his voice caught in his throat.
“I’m not into her,” Will said. He sounded far away, like there was something else he wanted to say.
He had sounded that way for a while now, ever since Mike went to California last year.
“Well, good,” Mike said. “I mean, not that you don’t like her, but that you won’t be bogged down by some girl all summer.”
Will bumped his shoulder. “You’ll be free, too,” he said. “A girl-free summer for us, right?”
The bump echoed inside of Mike’s ribs, bouncing around his lungs and into his heart, striking him like a bow and arrow.
“Hell yeah,” Mike said.
And what Mike didn’t say was that if Will wanted to date any girl, Mike would have scared her away. On purpose, too. Will was his, entirely his.
Was it love? Of course, Mike loved Will, but he loved El too. And Lucas and Dustin and his sisters. But Will was always different. Will had always been different.
Mike thought only for a moment about taking Will’s hand where it sat on his thigh, interlocking their fingers together and kissing each knuckle, one at a time and then…
God, it was so fucking hot in this basement. He got up to turn on the fan.