Chapter Text
It’s easy to get lonely when everyone in the city is trying to kill each other. Then again, I was lonely before the culling games, too. I was a workaholic, always staying in the office well after sunset. Hard to meet people with that sort of lifestyle. My general appearance didn’t exactly attract women, either. My coworkers described me as “one step away from being undead.”
I look down at my wobbly reflection in the bathwater, the dim theater lights making it more visible. Somehow, I look better now than I ever did as a lawyer. The culling games have made me more alert, so my brown eyes aren’t so hooded. I’ve been eating more, amazingly, thus filling out my cheeks. And my brown hair that I once tried so hard to keep slicked back and tamed… actually looks better without any product in it. Who knew?
But there aren’t any women here—just bloodthirsty men and a whole lot of rubble. A sigh escapes my lips as I lean my head against the ceramic edge of the tub. I finally feel a little bit comfortable in my own skin, and there’s no one around to appreciate it. Why did I have to wait until the apocalypse to get my life together?
Yes, I know it isn’t the apocalypse, but it feels like it. People only interact when they’re trading goods or trying to kill each other. There’s no end in sight to this madness, so everyone’s getting more and more panicked. You can feel it in the air. That’s why I decided to rest here for a few days. You have to make sure you don’t panic, too, like the rest of them. Keeping a cool head is pivotal.
I sigh again, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand. It’s been a while since I’ve spoken, since there isn’t anyone to talk to. Every sound out of my mouth is a sigh or a groan or a pleasant hum when things go my way. Maybe, so as not to go insane, I should talk a little more. Maybe that will cure my loneliness.
“Hmph.”
This feels weird. What should I say? I’m on a stage, so maybe I could recite a play?
“Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.” My voice comes out a little lower and more hoarse than usual, as if I’m trying to whisper in a library. I huff again. “Damn you, Hiromi, just pretend you’re in court.”
I pause, thinking of a play that I actually enjoy. Drawing a breath in, I begin to recite my favorite lines with more gusto.
“I hope, Cecily, I shall not offend you if I state quite frankly and openly that you seem to me to be in every way the visible personification of absolute perfection.”
“Cecily, ever since I first looked upon your wonderful and incomparable beauty, I have dared to love you wildly, passionately, devotedly, hopelessly.”
“You’ll never break off our engagement again, Cecily?”
My words cease, and the theater settles into silence once more. Was that supposed to help quell my loneliness? It didn’t. Now all I’m thinking about is that I’d quite like to have a Cecily of my own right now. Hopefully not exactly like the original Cecily, though. I’d prefer someone older and more intelligent. I can’t be very picky right now, though, can I?
“Cecily is the sweetest, dearest, prettiest girl in the whole world. And I don’t care twopence about social possibilities…” I continue to murmur the words of Algernon Moncrieff as I sink into the water of the tub, ruining more and more of my suit.
Maybe I’ll nap… I think to myself before the main door to the theater opens, startling me. I sit up abruptly, looking up the rows of seats to where the open door lets in a bit of light. With the light behind their back, I can make out the silhouette of the person who entered—a slender upper half with something long and billowing obscuring their legs. A skirt?
A pause. Neither I nor the visitor moves. Then they speak—a soft, feminine voice.
“Are you going to make me fight?”
Her words make my shoulders settle. I shake my head, knowing she can see me even though I can’t see her very well. I must look hysterical, sitting fully clothed in a bathtub with a spotlight shining on me.
“No,” I say, lying back in the bathtub and shutting my eyes, “I’m not the antagonizing type.”
I figured she would just leave. Most non-aggressive contestants spend their time looking around for a safe place like this. Seeing it occupied, they would look elsewhere. But she doesn’t leave. I open my eyes and look over to see her shadowy form walking down the stairs. My muscles tense, wondering if she’ll try an ambush, but then I notice her gait. She seems to half-stumble down the steps, probably overcome with exhaustion. Maybe she can’t afford to keep wandering through the city, looking for a place to stay. Well, no matter. I was a good roommate in college. I can be one now.
As she comes down the steps, I can make out her appearance a little better. She has long black hair, and her clothes are almost librarian-esque, albeit a bit torn up and bloodstained. Slowly, the woman turns onto the fourth row of seats, pushing up a couple of armrests. She lowers herself onto the seats, lying down across three of them.
A wise woman, I think to myself. Naps are always good. I almost feel guilty for wanting to speak to her.
“You couldn’t have fought me if I made you,” I say confidently, leaning an arm over the side of the tub. I can’t see the woman’s face anymore; the row of seats in front of her mostly obscures her form. But her knees poke up into view, as she’s a bit too tall to stretch out fully. When I speak, her knees shift as if her body is turning towards my voice.
“No, probably not,” She replies tiredly, “But I would have tried.”
“Admirable,” I murmur, lifting my chin a bit to try to see more of her. I still haven’t gotten a good look at her face. “Do you have a cursed technique? You must if you’ve made it this far.”
A soft huff comes from the seats, making me wonder why I’m talking so much. The poor girl just wants to sleep.
“I do.” The woman says, probably sick of my attempts at conversation. I would be too.
I chuckle, “Sorry, Cecily. I’ll let you sleep now.”
The air is silent for a moment, and the woman sits up to look at me. Through the dim audience seats, I can see that her eyebrows are slightly furrowed. Her voice comes out warily, “What?”
“Sorry,” I say again, this time sheepishly, “It’s a reference.”
“I know it’s a reference.” She replies without skipping a beat, “Are you… implying something by calling me Cecily?”
My cheeks feel a little warmer at that, and I consider drowning myself in the bathwater to cool them down. “Ah, no. I was just… I was reciting lines from the play before you got here. It was on my mind.”
She nods slowly, “You weren’t subtly calling me young and stupid…?”
“I can’t even see how old you are. The audience is too dark.”
“Stupid, then.”
“No, I wasn’t calling you stupid.”
“So it was just because I’m a woman?”
“Yes, exactly. Because you’re a woman.” I reply, a quiet laugh escaping my lips. Leaning my chin on my arm, I add gently, “Can you come up here? I feel like I’m shouting.”
The woman seems to hesitate for a moment before standing up and coming down the last few steps of the audience. She crawls onto the stage, murmuring, “Fine, but only because we have similar tastes in plays.”
She gets up onto the stage and kneels by the tub, resting her arm near mine. “My name is Tsubaki, not Cecily.” She says softly.
My heart skips a beat when I see her face under the light. Truthfully, I’ve always been a bit particular about who I find attractive. No, I don’t mean she has to have plump lips or high cheekbones or a perfect jawline. I don’t care about any of that. It’s just… not every day that I see a woman who really takes my breath away. Well, right now I feel like I can’t breathe. Tsubaki is just… perfect.
She has a gentle face, almond-shaped brown eyes, and full cheeks. Her long black hair frames the olive skin of her face, creating a nice contrast. (← INSERT WHATEVER YOU LOOK LIKE!!) Her lips are curled up in a small smile. She’s smiling at me. Shit.
“Hiromi,” I reply, remembering that’s how conversations work.
“Why are you fully clothed in a bathtub, Hiromi?” Tsubaki asks. The spotlight does a funny thing where it bounces off the water and makes her eyes look fucking gorgeous. And that sight makes it hard for me to think clearly.
“Would you rather I not be clothed?” I quip without thinking. Immediately, I get ready to apologize, but I don’t have to. Tsubaki is laughing—maybe the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. She hides her face in her arm as she giggles and then looks back up at me.
“Fair point.” She says with a smile. I’m done for.
“The water is comfortable, but I didn’t want to have to fight naked if someone barged in,” I explain, my face feeling hot again.
“Makes sense.” Tsubaki replies, “Though, I would’ve just stripped down to one layer if I were you.”
“I did that first. My boxers are drying right now.”
Tsubaki laughs again at that, making my heart swell in my chest. I smile, really smile, for the first time in days, unable to help myself. She’s just… charming as hell.
“Do you need new clothes?” I add, gesturing to the tear on the shoulder of her blouse. “There’s some stuff backstage.”
Tsubaki looks down at herself, her expression turning sheepish, “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”
I nod in agreement and push myself up out of the water, my drenched suit hanging heavy on my frame. I pull off my tie and suit jacket to minimize the weight, draping them both over the edge of the tub. Tsubaki stands as well, looking as if she’s trying not to laugh again.
“Do I look like I did a wet t-shirt contest?” I ask, not daring to look down at myself. She nods, her eyes flickering down and back up. A smile pulls at my lips once more. Just being close to her makes me want to smile.
“C’mon, Cecily.” I beckon her to follow me backstage. She scoffs and follows after me, a little more energized than she was when she entered the theater.
“I told you, I’m not a Cecily!”
“And I told you, it’s not because you’re young or stupid.”
“Can’t I be a Gwendolen, then?” She asks, and I fall a little harder. She knows all the characters.
“Gwendolen is so haughty,” I reply, glancing back at her.
“So it does have to do with personality!” Tsubaki says indignantly, speeding up a bit to walk alongside me.
“No, no, I promise it doesn’t.” I stop and turn to her, and my heart thuds again. Her eyes look so pretty from this angle. “It’s, um… It’s because I like Algernon.”
Tsubaki’s eyebrows raise slightly, her eyes twinkling with amusement, “And Algernon marries Cecily.”
My mouth opens to speak, but I can’t get the words out immediately. I never was much of a smooth talker—except in court, of course. I close my mouth to regain my bearings, and then my gaze shifts to the side.
“It’s a joke.”
“I’m sure.”
“Let’s just go get you some clothes,” I say quickly, turning to head backstage.
“Alright, Algy.” She replies smoothly.
Chapter 2
Notes:
Sorry chapters 1 & 2 are so short! I might try for longer chapters in the future, but I wanted to get these two out on the same day. Hope you guys enjoy. :)
Chapter Text
I lead Tsubaki into the costume storage room, holding my arm out to gesture invitingly, “Pick whatever you’d like. There’s stuff in every size.” Tsubaki nods and starts to walk through the rows, but looks back at me first.
“Shouldn’t you find something, too?” She asks, glancing at the floor behind me. “You’re dripping.”
“Well… I would usually just change back into my boxers,” I say honestly, figuring I’ve embarrassed myself plenty already, “But now there’s a lady present.”
She lets out a huff of laughter and starts to look through the clothes, gently running her hands over the fabrics. I watch her for a long moment, completely distracted by the way her hands look so delicate.
“Ooo, I can look like an aristocrat from the Victorian era~” Tsubaki says playfully, holding up the frilly garment.
In the minutes since I met her, I’ve been shocked at how… lively Tsubaki manages to be. Sure, she was tired at first, but now she’s joking and laughing and making me joke and laugh as well. In the Culling Games. It’s amazing. Absolutely awe-inspiring.
“Yeah… most everything is pretty costume-y,” I murmur in response, following her down the aisle, “Especially the women’s clothes. It seems to be mostly dresses.”
“That’s fine. I like dresses.” Tsubaki keeps looking, checking tags to find things in her size. She gets to the end of the aisle and stops, pulling out a white slip. It’s actually quite beautiful—long and silky with a synched waist and little lace details.
“I’ll find a place to change into this.” She says and turns to me, her eyes once again lingering on my wet clothes. “And… I really don’t mind if you want to go change into your dry boxers. We’re both adults.”
My lips curl up slightly in an embarrassed smile. I picture myself standing half-naked in front of her and cringe internally. Since my awakening happened so recently, I don’t have the ripped body that most sorcerers do. I have the stomach and hips of a man with a desk job.
“Nah, I’ll figure something out,” I say dismissively, not quite having the self-confidence to accept her invitation. Then I point to the far side of the room, “There’s a bathroom back there.”
Tsubaki goes to change, and, in the meantime, I manage to find some acceptable clothes among the racks. I’m dressed in gray pants and a black sweater by the time I hear Tsubaki’s footsteps coming back into the room.
Turning to look, my breath catches in my throat. She looks stunning. The silk hangs on her body like water, rippling around her legs as she walks, and the white brings out the color of her skin. Her eyes land on mine, and both of us are quiet for a moment. When I speak, my voice comes out a little hoarse
“You’re seriously going to put that on and expect me not to call you Cecily?”
Her lips twitch almost imperceptibly. She looks down at herself and then back up at my face, shaking her head in faux disappointment, “I should have guessed you’d say something like that.”
“It’s hard not to,” I reply, stepping a little closer. My voice drops lower as I try to be more respectful, “You look… very nice.”
“Thank you,” Tsubaki replies quietly, “So do you.”
That little comment gets me, for some reason. I feel my face flush for the nth time since I met her, and I turn to the side in hopes of hiding it. My heart is racing all over again. Why did I have to bring her back here to get changed? Why did I have to talk to her in the first place? Now I’m making a fool of myself left and right.
“Sorry, I keep forgetting,” I say quickly, shaking my anxious thoughts out of my head and turning back to her. “You must be exhausted.”
Tsubaki nods and brushes her hair behind her shoulder, “I’ve managed to ignore it for a while, but… yeah, I probably need some sleep.”
Feeling guilty once again, I quickly beckon her to follow me to one of the other rooms backstage, “Come on, there are some couches back here.”
We go into the room, which probably used to be a lounge for the actors and theater crew. But then it became the place I come back to when I’m not fighting for my life. And now it will be a sanctuary for two jujutsu sorcerers, each with a love for 18th century comedies.
“I, uh, try not to think too hard about what has gone down on these couches,” I say with a chuckle, rubbing the back of my neck. Then I notice that there’s only one full-sized couch. The other two are loveseats. “You can take the couch, if you want…”
“No, no…” Tsubaki quickly replies, waving her hand. She walks over to one of the loveseats, sitting down on the edge as if testing it out. Looking up at me, she continues, “You’re way too tall to be sleeping on one of these.”
I feel a little wave of relief at her response. Yeah, it would have been pretty uncomfortable to take the loveseat, but all of these feelings are making me rather selfless. Suppressing the urge to suggest we share the couch, I sit down as well.
“Do you snore?” Tsubaki asks as she lies down. Her tone is lighthearted, making it clear that she won’t fuss if the answer is yes.
“No idea,” I reply, continuing to mimic her movements. My head settles onto the throw pillow that has been doing nothing good for my neck these past several nights.
“How do you not know?”
Her words make me pause, turning to look across the room at her. Then it occurs to me. Most men my age have plenty of experience sharing a bed with another person. Unfortunately, I am not most men. Now I have to look this gorgeous woman in the eyes and tell her that I’ve never been in a long-term relationship. But before I can compose my thoughts enough to respond, Tsubaki seems to realize the rudeness of her question.
“Never mind. None of my business.” She says quickly, looking back up at the ceiling. I swear I see a bit of panic cross her expression. She hadn’t intended to embarrass me.
“How about you?” I ask quietly, trying to shift the focus off of me.
“I don’t snore, but I do talk in my sleep,” Tsubaki replies, turning back to me. The tiredness I noticed earlier is returning to her features. Being on a soft surface is probably making her want to doze off. “My friend took a video of it once. I was mumbling about final exams.”
“Oh, I can’t blame you. Finals have a way of pervading your dreams.” I say, though internally I’m focused on the fact that it was a friend who heard her sleep-talking. I’m glad she clarified, or else I probably would have spent all night feeling jealous about imaginary boyfriends or even a husband. Fuck, this is the first time I’ve considered the possibility of a husband. There goes my good mood.
“We should go to sleep,” Tsubaki says softly, turning onto her side. She has to curl up in order to fit properly on the loveseat, and that sight is so cute that I have to look away.
“You’re right,” I mutter, shifting to get more comfortable on the couch. Once my eyes close, my thoughts start to compose themselves again. Of course, they haven’t been very well composed since she stumbled into the theater. But now I’m more settled and able to think clearly.
It’s insane, I think to myself, how easily she has made herself comfortable here in my little sanctuary. And it’s even more insane how easily I let her. What if she tries to kill me in my sleep to get a point? Why is she not worried that I’ll do that?
Well, I know what’s wrong with me. She’s too beautiful, and I’m letting it cloud my judgment. But that doesn’t explain her total lack of wariness. I’m bigger and stronger than her, and she’s sleeping in this room with me despite the fact that I could turn on her at any point. Is she naive? No, I don’t get that from her at all. Maybe the reason she seems so trusting is because she plans on striking first.
My heart racing, I slowly open my eyes and look over, expecting to see Tsubaki trying to go to sleep. But what I see instead is her brown eyes wide open, watching me. We both sit up abruptly as if we’ve caught each other.
“Why were you watching me?” I demand, feeling on edge. I’m not scared, just… frustrated at myself. It shouldn’t have taken me this long to feel suspicious.
“Why were you watching me?” She echoes, her brow furrowed. Unlike me, she does sound scared, if only a little bit. My heart feels heavy in my chest. She thinks I would kill her. I don’t blame her, but it still hurts. The thought of being perceived as a killer makes me sick.
“I… got in my head.” I reply carefully, figuring honesty is the best choice right now. We both need to be transparent or we’ll never get any sleep. “Started wondering if you might try to get a point off me.
Tsubaki watches me carefully for a moment before slowly nodding, “I started to wonder the same.”
There’s tension in the air, but I can feel it slowly easing. It’s not gone, but at least she looks like she can breathe again.
“Look,” I begin, letting out a heavy breath. “I have plenty of points. I know that… makes me look bad, but you can rest easy knowing that I’m not going to kill you out of desperation. But you’ve got to tell me if you’ve gained points since the last benchmark.”
As I speak, I can see Tsubaki’s gaze shifting down to the cushions below her. She hesitates before nodding once again, “Yeah, I have.”
Regret. It’s rolling off of both of us in waves. Her more than me. I can tell she doesn’t intellectualize her kills the same way I do. But I have moments of regret, too, sometimes. Usually when it’s quiet and dark, and I feel like I’m losing myself.
“So we’re both okay.” I say gently, tilting my head to try to meet her gaze again. “We have no need to hurt each other. And… for the record, I don’t kill good people.”
She looks up, and we lock eyes once more. As if trying to read my mind, she stares at me for a couple of seconds. I must look as genuine as I’m being, because I can feel the tension fading almost completely now.
“Right.” Tsubaki says and manages a small smile. “Goodnight, Algy.”
I can’t help the way my lips spread into a grin. All the paranoia had almost made me forget about our little reference. It’s almost like a codeword now, reminding each other that we have something in common. That we’re friends.
“Goodnight, Cecily.” I say quietly and lay back down, succumbing to the exhaustion.
Chapter 3
Notes:
I lied! This one is not longer. Enjoy!
Chapter Text
There are no windows in the lounge, so I never know what time it is when I wake. Not that it matters. I don’t have to wake up at the crack of dawn to get ready for work anymore, which would be a relief if it weren’t so unsettling.
Forcing my eyes open, I turn my head and slowly stretch my arms. It takes me a moment to remember that Tsubaki exists, and then a second longer to realize that she isn’t here anymore. My stomach drops, and I sit up, looking around the room. She’s gone. I was right before, evidently. She just needed a place to crash before moving on. I can’t blame her, can I? It’s a logical decision. Still, that doesn’t ease the tightness in my throat. I’ll miss my Cecily.
My limbs feel extra heavy as I get up to leave the lounge. I need to eat before I waste away. Fortunately, I have a stash of food that won’t run out any time soon. I keep it all in a closet backstage.
I’m halfway through a can of SpaghettiOs when I hear footsteps coming into the lounge. Don’t hope, I tell myself quickly, it’s probably just someone you’ll have to fight. I don’t even bother to put down the can as the footsteps get closer and closer. Damn my racing heart. It’s not going to be…
Tsubaki steps into the room, looking first to the couch I slept on. Then her gaze flickers over, seeing me sitting on the floor by the closet. My heart, continuing to torment me, rises into my throat.
“You’re still here.” I breathe, suddenly feeling very silly sitting on the floor with my plastic spoon in hand.
“You have food,” Tsubaki replies, coming over to me, “I went up to the concessions to look for some, but I didn’t find anything.”
I feel a bit of inexplicable bitterness that she’s more excited about the food than seeing me. Then again, she wasn’t the one thinking she had been abandoned. Ignoring my irrational feelings, I reach into the closet to grab a packaged sandwich and a bag of chips for her. My selflessness is back, it seems. The sandwiches are my favorite.
“I moved everything back here so scavengers wouldn’t get to it,” I explain as I hand her the food. She accepts it gratefully, sitting down on the floor beside me. The way she folds her legs under her is… god. I have to try hard not to stare.
“You have enough, right?” Tsubaki says cautiously as she unwraps the sandwich.
“Plenty. Don’t worry about it.” I assure her, eating another spoonful of my SpaghettiOs. She breathes a sigh of relief and bites into the sandwich, then sets it down to open her bag of chips. Seeing the way her face lights up makes a glimmer of pride rise in my chest. I don’t care if it’s obnoxiously masculine. I like the idea of providing for her.
Tsubaki eats one of the chips and closes her eyes for a moment. When she opens them, her gaze is playfully adoring, “Are you secretly an angel, Hiromi? I think you might be.”
My lips stretch into a smile, and I look down to hide the giddiness I’m feeling, “I’m just being a decent human being…”
“No way,” She shakes her head, not allowing me to be humble, “Not immediately killing me made you a decent person. Sharing food makes you an angel. Seriously, I’m starting to question your survival instincts.”
She goes back to eating, and I don’t respond for a long moment. I want her to know… that she’s not the only one getting something out of this. All of my gestures haven’t been selfless at all. I just want her to stay.
“Have you gotten lonely yet?” I ask quietly, staring down into my can. Her response takes a moment as well.
“I don’t know how anyone wouldn’t be lonely here.” Her words cause me to look up, meeting her gentle gaze. She hesitates before continuing, “Here as in the Culling Games. Not… not the theater. Here, I… don’t feel lonely at all.”
My lips twitch, and I nod in agreement. Shrugging slightly, I continue, “I’m not an angel. I just like the company.”
We both seem to have forgotten that we were ever hungry—our meals are both abandoned now. Tsubaki watches me for a moment, probably trying to read my mind like last night. I’m starting to think she might be good at that, and I make a mental note to stop thinking about how good her thighs look in that dress.
“You were upset when you thought I had left.” She says, not asks. Damn it. She can read minds.
“I was,” I reply, seeing no point in lying. She smiles like she finds me amusing.
“I’m sorry.” Tsubaki murmurs, her gaze shifting to the side. She’s still smiling, but it’s a sad sort of smile, “I should have woken you before I left. I wasn’t thinking.”
My brow furrows, and I lean in, “And I was overthinking. Seriously, don’t apologize. You have no obligation to me, anyway.” The words taste sour on my tongue. I wish she had an obligation to me, but she doesn’t, and I can’t change that. Tsubaki narrows her eyes slightly and shakes her head. She almost looks… disappointed.
“Don’t say that.” She says quietly, “What ever happened to Cecily and Algernon?”
My heart thuds almost painfully in my chest. Oh, how I wish I could steal her mind-reading powers. I want to know what hidden meanings are there. Is she just talking about our common taste in plays, or is she really saying she’d like us to be like those two? I’d probably weep with joy if she wanted that. If she wanted to be my Cecily. It’s then that I realize I’m staring at her like an idiot.
“Fine,” I say, straightening up. “You do have an obligation to me, then. You aren’t allowed to leave without saying goodbye.”
“And you aren’t allowed to kick me out,” Tsubaki replies, undoubtedly knowing that I wouldn’t do that anyway. I chuckle, feeling more at ease than I have in ages. Even before the Culling Games, I was never happy like this. It’s such an unfamiliar feeling.
I nod and pick up my can again. We finish our little meal in comfortable silence, and I can almost convince myself that I’m on a date.
“So, what do you do to pass the time around here?” Tsubaki asks later as I give her a tour of the theater. “Do you… venture out often?”
“Not often. Usually every two or three days.” I open the door to a coat closet, which still has several expensive-looking coats in it. Some people must have abandoned them when the barrier first came down, too panicked to stop for their Burberry trench coat. Tsubaki goes in to try on a fluffy leopard print jacket, and I watch her with a fond gaze as I continue, “When I’m here, I sleep a lot, or read. There are some bookshelves in the rooms upstairs.”
“Oh, you’ll have to show me those.” She replies, letting the jacket fall off her arms as she follows me out. We head up the marble stairs, which curve along either side of the lobby. It’s a rather grand theater, and I was pleased to see it hadn’t been destroyed yet when I found it. Tsubaki’s Mary Jane shoes clip-clop behind me, and I wonder how on Earth she has lived this long.
“In here.” I push the door open to a sitting room, which is like the lounge downstairs, but with more decor and less comfortable seating. Tsubaki immediately goes over to the bookshelf, grinning widely as she looks at all of the options. I already know what she’ll gravitate towards. When she gasps, I know she’s found it.
“They have an Oscar Wilde collection!” She exclaims, tiptoeing up to read the spines. Then she looks around the room, probably for a stool or a ladder. But I walk over and grab a couple of the books for her instead.
“Now you know why it was on my mind yesterday,” I say, handing her one of the books and keeping one for myself. I know I’m hovering close, but I can’t quite bring myself to step back. Besides, it doesn’t seem like she minds.
“This is awesome,” Tsubaki says with a smile, looking down at the cover, “It’s been so long since I’ve—” Her words are suddenly cut off by a loud bang that causes the floor to rumble beneath us.
Explosions are all too common these days. Curses and highly ranked sorcerers tend to wreak havoc when they fight. This building has yet to fall, though, so I don’t panic as much as I used to. But Tsubaki is here now, making everything more complicated.
She gasps and covers her head. Immediately, I wrap an arm around her, clutching the silk of her dress. My body covers hers, blocking her from the nearby windows. If anything is likely to hurt her right now, it’s broken glass. The rumbling slowly subsides, but my heart is racing too much to tell. She’s holding onto one of my arms, breathing heavily from the shock. Her other hand keeps the book I gave her close to her chest.
“It’s okay…” I murmur into her hair. My other hand drops the book and goes to cradle the back of her head. If the circumstances were different, I’d be grinning from ear to ear right now. But I’m too busy comforting her to think about the close proximity. “Japan is built to withstand earthquakes. A little fight across the road isn’t going to bring the building down.”
I can feel her nod in understanding, but she isn’t pulling away. Her reaction probably isn’t just about here and now. She’s been alone in the Culling Games for days, and I don’t know what she experienced before I met her. A bit of rumbling can be terrifying if you’ve seen when it leads to something worse. She buries her face in my chest, and I pray she can’t feel the way my heart rate speeds up. Now the proximity is on my mind, and a very selfish part of me hopes that this won’t be the last time I get to hold and comfort her.
“You alright?” I ask gently, pulling back just enough to look down at her. She looks up at me, her eyes lingering for a long moment. I wonder if this is what I look like when I stare at her. No, definitely not. I don’t think anyone could see me the way I see her. Tsubaki finally tears her gaze away and goes back to my chest, resting her cheek on it.
“I’m glad you’re here.” She mumbles.
My heart skips a beat, and I slowly lean my head down again. I press a kiss to her hair, not allowing myself to second-guess whether that was a good idea or not.
“I’m glad you’re here, too.”
Chapter Text
Fortunately, Tsubaki doesn’t say anything about the kiss, and she pretends not to notice the slight stutter in my speech that lasts for the next five minutes. But one thing did change since the moment in the sitting room. I finally have the courage to touch her.
I was so cautious before, not wanting to ruin our developing friendship or, worse, scare her off. Then I got a taste of what it feels like to be close to her, and I think I got addicted. She’s so soft, and somehow she smells good even days into the games. I keep my hand on her back as we head down the stairs, pretending like it’s still a comfort thing. In reality, my hands have become magnets, and she has a body made of metal. I would feel like a douchebag if it weren’t for the fact that she seems to enjoy it so much. We sit down in the lounge with our books, and she scoots right up next to me.
For the rest of the day, I feel like I’m floating on air. We read side-by-side, occasionally sharing thoughts about our books and laughing at the quippy, dry humor. After a while, we have another meal, and Tsubaki gets upset with me when I confess that I actually quite like the packaged sandwiches. She forces the last one into my hands and grabs some dried meat instead. We eat with our knees barely touching.
Then I walk her around the theater, finishing the tour that was cut short earlier. Plus, it’s important for us to stretch our legs consistently. Tsubaki decides that she wants to go out onto the terrace, and I follow her. We both look out at the view, but for different purposes. She likes the scenery, and I’m watching for sorcerers. If someone had a cursed technique that functions like a sniper rifle, this would be a terrible place to be. Fortunately, we get back inside with no issues. After so many days of the Culling Games, the streets are typically pretty barren.
We go back to our room to finish our books. Yeah… after just twenty-four hours together, I’ve started calling the lounge “our room.” In my head, at least. It’s not my fault that all of this feels so domestic—sharing meals, curling up on the couch together, standing out on the terrace and admiring the city landscape. Occasionally, I try to get my feelings under control. I try to tell myself that Tsubaki is nothing more than a friend and roommate. But as we sit back down on the couch and she rests her head on my shoulder, all of that goes out the window.
I pause before slowly wrapping my arm around her waist, “Comfortable?” I murmur as I watch her open the book back up. She lets out a soft, affirming hum, folding her legs underneath her so they lean against my lap. My hand twitches, wanting to rest on her thigh instead of her waist. I manage to refrain.
But I don’t refrain from leaning my cheek on the top of her head, as that feels like safer territory. We stay in that position for a while, and the butterflies in my stomach slowly fade away. It feels less nerve-racking and more… peaceful. And, finally, I get over the part of me that kept thinking she had no interest in me. I’m accepting that, just as I see her as my Cecily, she sees me as her Algernon.
I finish my book first, closing it and turning so my lips press against the top of her head. Not kissing her this time, just taking her in. She leans further into me so she’s almost on my chest.
“We could… lie down, if you wanted,” I say quietly, pulling my head back. Tsubaki turns to look up at me and smiles, giving a nod. She moves out of the way so I can lie back against the arm of the couch, my upper body slightly elevated. She positions herself between my legs and rests her back against my chest, continuing to read her book.
The joyful weeping could start any moment now. I feel like I’m in paradise as my arms snake around her, holding her close. She called me an angel before, but I’m starting to think that she was an answer to my prayers. The moment I asked the heavens for a companion, I was given one more perfect than I could have ever imagined.
After several minutes, Tsubaki finishes her book and sets it aside. She turns on her side so she can face me, and I don’t even try to hide the desire in my gaze.
“Are you a figment of my imagination?” I whisper, my hand slowly moving up and down her side, “Be honest.”
She laughs softly and shakes her head, “I assure you, I am very real.”
My eyes crinkle at the corners as I look down at her, my other hand coming up to touch her cheek. So soft.
“I hope, Cecily, I shall not offend you if I state quite frankly and openly that you seem to me to be… in every way… the visible personification of absolute perfection.” I quote the words in a murmur, my thumb tracing her cheekbone. I always loved the way Algernon talked to Cecily in the play, even as I rolled my eyes at how unrealistic it was that he seemed to fall for her in mere minutes. Well, I’m not rolling my eyes now. I apologize, Algernon. I understand now. When you meet the visible personification of absolute perfection, you don’t wait to fall in love.
“You dear romantic boy…” Tsubaki replies, knowing the lines as well as I do. Her eyes seem to sparkle as she gazes up at me. When she speaks again, it is no longer through Cecily’s lines, “Maybe I really am naive… if I’m lying here with a man I met yesterday.”
I chuckle and shake my head, my hand pressing more firmly against her side.
“I didn’t call you Cecily because you’re naive,” I whisper, like I’m telling her a secret. Although it isn’t much of a secret by now, “I called you Cecily because I wanted you to be mine.”
Tsubaki’s lips stretch into a smile, and she lets out a soft laugh of what sounds like disbelief.
“You may be one of the smoothest talkers I’ve ever met.” She says, making me wonder if I’ve been dropped into an alternate universe.
“No. No, I am not that.” I say immediately, laughing as well, “I’ve never mustered up the courage to talk like this with anyone before.”
“Ah, so I’m special.”
“Obviously.”
We both pause, just staring at each other with stupid, giddy looks on our faces. I continue in a lower voice, “It’s easy to be a smooth talker when I’m just… making observations.”
“And when you’re quoting the smoothest talker of them all.” Tsubaki points out.
“An excellent point. I’m plagiarizing, really.”
She giggles, and the sound makes my heart thud in my chest. I can’t take it anymore. I’ve already laid everything out in front of her, and she’s reacting in such a lovely way. I thought I had fallen before, but that feeling has increased tenfold now that things are finally coming to fruition. And, apparently, feeling that hard makes me do impulsive things.
Before she has even stopped laughing, I lean in, kissing her deeply. She seems to falter for a moment, no doubt shocked by the sudden escalation. But after just a second, she’s melting into the kiss.
It’s the most wonderful thing I’ve felt… maybe ever. Sure, I’ve kissed a couple of women before, but it was never like this. Never with someone I had already developed such strong feelings for. Kissing Tsubaki is like getting to the very satisfying ending of an incredibly good book. Except it might even be better than that, because a kiss can turn into much more. I try not to get my hopes up too much, though, focusing on the present.
Our lips separate, and we both slowly open our eyes. Her eyes. I can’t get over them. She looks like a doll, gazing up at me like that. So much fondness and yearning. How did I not notice the yearning before?
She reaches up to hold onto my shoulder, her thumb moving back and forth. I feel like putty under her touch.
“Can we do that again?” She asks quietly. Without reply, I lean in again. Our lips press together and then start to slowly move in sync. I shift our bodies so mine is covering hers, my forearm planted on the couch cushion by her head.
Her soft breaths tickle my lips. She wraps her arms around my shoulders and runs her fingers through my hair, causing me to let out a quiet groan. My tongue brushes against hers, and I deepen the kiss, pressing my body down onto hers a little more. She sighs, her fingers curling into my hair. The air around us seems to get a few degrees hotter. I break away to press open-mouthed kisses just under her jawline and then down her neck.
“Hiromi…” She moans my name, and I hum against her neck in response. My hand moves up her side, tracing my thumb against the bottom side of her breast. Glancing up at her, my hand lingers there, silently asking for permission. Tsubaki smiles, her hand moving to the side of my head.
“I’ll tell you if I want you to stop.” She whispers. Music to my ears. I kiss her on the lips again, my hand moving to her chest. The silky slip she has on makes touching her there even more enjoyable. It must feel good for her, too, with the way she’s arching into my touch.
I start to lose myself a bit. My nose presses against her cheek as I kiss her passionately. My hand treats her body like bread dough, kneading and squeezing. But she doesn’t tell me to stop. She runs her hands up and down my back. Then I feel as she slowly slips her fingers underneath my shirt, gently touching my bare skin. I falter, pulling my head up. My breaths are coming a little heavy, and her cheeks are flushed.
“You could, um…” Tsubaki begins in a murmur, slowly edging up the bottom of my shirt. My heart skips a beat, and I pull back to tug my shirt off.
“It’s not anything amazing,” I say as it’s halfway off. Then I toss the shirt aside, looking down at her. My knee is planted just beside her thighs. She’s looking up at me with a little grin.
“Well, I’m amazed.” She replies, boosting my confidence with just a few simple words. I chuckle softly and slowly move my hand to where her dress ends at the middle of her thigh. I gently take the lace edge between my fingers.
She did say she would tell me if I needed to stop, so I don’t ask permission verbally. I take my time moving the silk fabric up, my hand splaying out against her skin to feel her body as I expose more and more of it. She lets out a shaky breath, lifting her hips so I can get the dress off fully.
I remove it entirely, my heart racing as I sit back on my heels to look down at her. She is truly… a wonderful and incomparable beauty. My fingertips go to her waist and then slowly trail down to her hips, feeling the soft cotton of her underwear. She sighs softly, covering one of my hands with her own.
“You’re perfect,” I murmur, leaning down to kiss the part of her breast that isn’t concealed by her bra.
She giggles quietly and touches my hair, “I only seem perfect because you haven’t seen many women in a while.”
“No, that’s not why,” I reply seriously, pulling back to look into her eyes. “If I had seen you before all of this, I’d be just as obsessed as I am now.”
Tsubaki’s expression turns a little shy—something I haven’t seen on her before now. She rolls her eyes playfully, averting her gaze, “Just let me be humble, would you?”
I chuckle, kissing her neck once again, “Sorry… That’s something I can’t do.” I mumble against her skin. She huffs, but doesn’t hesitate to lift her chin to give me better access. Gripping her waist, I continue to pepper her neck, collarbones, and breasts with kisses. I slot my thigh between her legs, eliciting a moan from her. Slowly, I position myself between her legs, and she spreads apart for me without protest.
My lips move back to hers, and we fall into that passionate rhythm easily. My hips roll against hers, which feels dangerously good. I can’t finish before taking my pants off, I think to myself as I squeeze her breast once again. I can’t embarrass myself in front of her like that.
We moan and gasp into each other’s mouths from the friction. The pleasure builds more and more. Fuck, I’m in trouble. But I want more, too. I pull back from the kiss abruptly and start to hook my fingers into the band of her underwear, my mind on just one thing. Then I see her hand cover mine. My eyes flicker up to her face.
“Not… not tonight.” She says quietly, her voice a little breathless. “I want to, but just… not yet.”
I nod, my hands slowly leaving her underwear. I’m just as out of breath as she is.
“Sorry,” I begin, but she’s already shaking her head.
“I told you to just keep going until I say stop.” She reminds me, “You did nothing wrong.”
Her assurance does help that icky feeling in my stomach. The last thing I want is to be a creep or to pressure her. It’s true that I want her. Badly. But not enough to lose myself like that.
“Yeah… okay.” I breathe, pulling one of my legs out from between hers and instead planting it beside her on the couch. “Maybe we should just… turn in for the night.” Tsubaki gives a small smile and nods in agreement.
“As long as I don’t have to go back to the loveseat.” She says, tilting her head. I laugh quietly and shake my head, lying down and pulling her against my side.
“We can share,” I murmur, my heart skipping a beat as she rests her head on my bare chest. I look down at her nearly-bare body, feeling both concern and desire. “Are you cold?”
“No, I’m alright,” Tsubaki replies, her hand going to my abdomen, “You’re warm.”
I smile, my arm wrapping more tightly around her waist.
“Goodnight, Tsubaki.”
“…Goodnight, Hiromi.”
Notes:
This will be the penultimate chapter of this work. I should have the ending up in a few days. Thanks for reading!
Chapter Text
I wake in the morning with my arms wrapped around something warm and soft. My eyes flutter open to see the top half of Tsubaki’s face. Her nose is brushing against my lips, and the tip of my nose is nestled between her eyebrows. I’ve never awoken to something so close and intimate before. I never used to like cuddling. But somehow this feels like the most natural thing in the world.
My thumb begins little motions on her waist, trying to ease her awake. Then I press a kiss to her forehead, and that’s when her eyelids twitch. She opens her eyes after a few seconds, and I can tell immediately that she’s the type to wake up slowly. Once she registers me in front of her, her lips curl up in a sleepy smile.
“Mm… morning…” She mumbles. I chuckle softly and dip my head down to peck her on the lips. Anything more than that would make us too aware of each other’s morning breath.
“Good morning,” I reply, my voice lower than usual. Tsubaki closes her eyes and opens them a few times as if fighting sleep. Finally, she seems to focus, but her voice is the same as before.
“I need a shower,” She says quietly, “And probably some new clothes.”
“I’ll keep watch while you take one.” As I speak, her eyes lock onto mine.
“You don’t want to join me?”
Tsubaki would have liked an extra few minutes in bed, but I was too eager to let that happen. She giggles as I tug her into the performers’ locker room, obviously amused by my excitement. Letting go of her hand, I focus on starting the shower and setting it to an acceptable temperature. Fortunately, I managed to gather up some toiletries before the scavengers took them all, so this will be the best shower she has had in a while.
When I turn back around to her, my heart drops. Tsubaki has already removed her bra, and she’s currently pulling her underwear down her legs. She glances up, seeing my dumbfounded expression. Removing her underwear entirely, she mumbles shyly, “Did you expect me to shower naked?”
“N-No! I’m sorry. You look lovely.”
God, it’s so hard not to stare. And I can’t tell if she wants me to or not. Hopefully, she does, because my eyes are glued to her naked body. She passes me to get into the shower, and I quickly pull my pants and boxers off so I can follow her.
I’m not ashamed to say that my manhood is standing at full attention as I step into the shower with Tsubaki. I’d be an idiot or blind not to be aroused right now. She glances down at it and smiles slightly before turning to the water. The shower head rains down on her, wetting her hair and sending little streams down her naked body. I slowly move behind her, my hands resting on her hips.
“Am I allowed to be handsy?” I murmur, leaning down to her ear. Nodding, she turns a bit to look at me.
“Why do you think I invited you?”
My heart flutters with pure excitement, and I step closer so my tip presses against her lower back. The pressure increases as she steps back ever so slightly. I love it when she does things like that—things to prove that I’m not the only one brimming with desire.
The water patters against my head as I lean down to kiss her neck. My hands move up and down her sides, touching her breasts and her belly and her hips. Everything is so perfect and malleable. She’s like pure gold.
Tsubaki sighs, leaning her head back on my shoulder. I kiss her on the lips and then pull back, reaching for the soap. She opens her eyes, following my movements.
“This seems like an excuse to touch me more.” She says, grinning as I squirt the body wash into my hand.
“It is,” I reply, and the way she steps away from the water and turns to face me fully shows that she doesn’t mind one bit.
There’s a part of me that, when I look at her, feels entirely unworthy. Where do I even start? It’s like a sculptor deciding where to begin chipping into the stone before him. I decide to just go top to bottom, my hands reaching out to lather soap onto her shoulders and then down her arms.
I can hardly handle the way she watches me as I clean her. She keeps that little grin as she gazes up at my face. If my face wasn’t already red from the hot water, it sure is now. I’m not used to being… admired.
“You’re staring,” I mutter as I run my hands up and down her torso.
“You have no room to complain about my staring.” Tsubaki retorts smoothly, “And besides, it’s only because you’re so handsome.”
“You’re such a liar.” I have to step closer to reach her back, my arms curling around her. That just means she gets to be even closer to my face as she continues her staring.
“I am not. You have a very appealing face.”
“Maybe now. I used to look like I was one foot in the grave.”
“Hard worker?” She assumes, and I consider asking if her cursed technique really does allow her to read minds.
Slowly, I lower myself in front of her to wash her legs. When I look up to respond, she seems a bit flustered.
“Yes,” I say quietly, my hands moving up her thighs and close to her center. But I don’t touch it quite yet, “I was a workaholic with no friends and a poor appetite.”
Tsubaki watches me, maybe not taking my words in fully. She’s focused on my hands and the way they go further and further up with each lathering motion.
“And what are you now…?” She asks softly.
Finally, my fingers move up to her folds, dipping between them. Tsubaki’s breath hitches, and she plants her hand on the tile wall to steady herself. I don’t penetrate her. Not yet. My fingers move back and forth a few times, getting used to what she feels like in this most sensitive area. Then my thumb finds its home on that little bundle of nerves, and Tsubaki seems to melt.
“All I really care about now is being yours,” I murmur as I focus on what is in front of me.
Before long, she has to lean against the wall so as not to stumble over. Her legs are trembling. She’s moaning. And I’m grinning ear to ear as I watch her. My thumb never ceases its circular movements. I only stop to replace it with my tongue.
“Oh, god, Hiromi…” Tsubaki’s hand goes to my hair, holding onto it as I pleasure her.
I start by focusing my tongue on her clitoris before moving further between her legs, tasting her entrance, and burying my nose between her folds. She’s having an even harder time staying upright now. I place my hands firmly on the backs of her thighs to support her, my fingertips sinking into her supple flesh.
If she’d let me, I would do this for hours. But she eventually pushes my head away, her hands shaking. I look up to see her panting and hazy with euphoria. I think I made her orgasm.
“I’m gonna fall over if you keep going…” She says breathlessly. However proud it would make me to see that happen, I still stand up and take her hands to help.
“Sorry,” I say, but I can tell that I don’t look remorseful at all. I’m in too good a mood. She laughs softly and leans in to rest her head on my shoulder.
“You were scarily good at that,” Tsubaki says, her voice quiet as the patter of water muffles it. I place my hands on her back and press a kiss to the side of her head.
“Well, I was enjoying myself,” I reply in a low voice, “And enjoying you.”
Tsubaki is quiet for a moment before lifting her head. She seems hesitant to speak, which I don’t understand at all. What could she possibly say to make me any less obsessed with her?
“Hiromi, um… if you had it your way, how… how far would you want to go?” She asks in a whisper. I just stare down at her for a moment, my heart beginning to pound. Now I’m the one hesitating. How am I supposed to look her in the eyes and tell her that I would fuck her bareback right now if she would let me? I used to be so concerned with accidental pregnancies and infections, but all of that is gone from my mind in this moment.
“As far as you’d let me,” I reply seriously, one of my hands trailing down to her hip.
Tsubaki slowly nods in understanding, her eyes still fixed on mine. Her lips separate to respond, and I can practically feel the tension in her mind bleeding into the air around us.
“I think I’m at that point, too.” She says quietly.
I’m afraid my reaction is perhaps less gentlemanly than I usually expect from myself. But I can hardly contain my excitement. In an instant, I have her pinned against the wall of the shower, eliciting a small squeak of surprise from her. My hand curls under her thigh and pulls it up. Then, I remember myself and give her a quick kiss before looking back down.
I grasp the base of my length with my free hand and guide it between her legs. Her hands hold onto my shoulders tightly as I move my tip through her folds. The stimulation causes my mouth to drop open slightly.
“Mmh…” She hums a moan into my ear as my tip glides through her wetness. Then I find her entrance and position myself there. I feel her grip on my shoulders get a little tighter.
As I start to push in, I move my head to look directly into Tsubaki’s eyes. Her eyebrows tilt upwards as I slide inside. I groan, my eyes half-hooded as I maintain the shared gaze.
“It’s… really big…” She pants as I start to move in and out.
“Do you need me to stop?”
“God, no.”
A breathy chuckle escapes me as I look down at where we’re joined. My hips move faster, causing both of us to moan. She wraps her arms around me and hides her face in my neck. I close my eyes, focusing on the sensations.
She’s soaked from the foreplay, and she’s so, so warm. Her breasts press against my chest as I move inside of her. I can feel her wet skin under my hands. Once again, I’m terrified of finishing quickly. Between periods of fast motion, I slow down for a few seconds to prevent that from happening.
As all of these thoughts and sensations are swirling through my mind, Tsubaki is making such beautiful sounds. She moans heavily each time I thrust a little deeper. She gasps when I change angles. And when I go fast for a while, her voice gets squeaky. I fucking love it.
I stop caring so much about coming fast and just let my instincts take over. As I open my eyes, my arm loops up underneath her other thigh, picking her up off the tile floor and pressing her fully between my chest and the wall. She clings to me tightly, moaning a little louder. I thrust up into her at a fast pace, groaning against the side of her head.
“Fuck…” I mutter, my jaw clenched, “I’m close.”
“Don’t stop…”
“I won’t, love.”
I lose the ability to speak after that. My mind becomes single-focused as I pound into her, grunting under my breath. She wraps her legs around my hips, sending a shockwave of pleasure through me. Sucking in a shaky gasp, I bury my cock as deep as it will go.
I’ve never orgasmed so hard in my life. It just seems to keep coming and coming as I continue little thrusting motions. Tsubaki trembles against me, her hands splayed out across my back. Finally, the intense ecstasy starts to fade, and I slowly let Tsubaki’s legs down. Even once her feet are planted on the tile, I hold her waist to ensure she doesn’t collapse.
“Are you alright…?” My chest rises and falls with heavy breaths as I reach up to cup her cheek. She nods, and I huff softly, “Tell me this isn’t a risky time of the month.”
Tsubaki laughs and shakes her head, “No… I would have warned you.”
“That’s true. You’re more sensible than me.”
We both laugh, and I lean forward to press my forehead against hers, closing my eyes. After a pause, Tsubaki’s voice comes out softly, “Tomorrow, we’ll probably have to venture out. You know… keep playing the game.” My eyes slowly open, and I pull back just an inch. I must be frowning, because a regretful look crosses her face, “Maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“No,” I cut in quickly, shaking my head, “It’s okay. You’re right.”
Tsubaki frowns, her gaze shifting to the side, “I wish we could just stay in the theater forever.”
I soften a fraction at that, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek.
“Everything will be alright,” I say quietly, “We’ll come back here in one piece every time. As long as I get to come home to you, whatever happens out there doesn’t matter. I have my Cecily now.” Tsubaki’s lips curl up in a smile, her eyes crinkling at the corners.
“And I have my Hiromi.” She murmurs, tiptoeing up to be closer to my face. My heart skips a beat, and I nod, realizing my mistake.
“My Tsubaki.” I whisper as I lean in, pressing my lips to hers.
Notes:
Thanks for reading!