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Winter was both one of Xenith's favorite seasons, and one of his least favorite. he disliked the cold, but liked snow. Xenith laid in his mountain of blankets, he could honestly barely move, but he was warm, so it didn't matter.
Larissa walked in, leaning against the wall of Xenith's apartment. "God, no wonder I can't find a blanket around here." She laughed, Xenith rolled his eyes. Was he partially embarrassed to be seen in his cocoon? Yes. But Larissa wouldn't judge, and if she did, he still had dirt on her from their first meeting. "What? Are you preparing for the next ice age?" As she approached Xenith moved over, dragging his mountain with him. "For the light's sake, I'm pretty sure that's all of the blankets you own."
"And the ones you left here." He added from within the blankets, he saw Larissa's grin. She threw herself onto the couch next to him.
"God, I'm surprised you live the winter." She leaned into Xenith's side. "Give me some of those-" She began to spread the blankets over herself as well as him, to which Xenith protested. "Didn't your parents teach you 'sharing is caring'?" She joked, Xenith made an exaggerated frown form on his face. "Shit-- are they dead? Or do you wish they were?" Xenith began to laugh.
"Dead??? You met my mother on the grocery run last week!" Larissa had spent most of the time grumbling about how the market's order of stores had changed again, and she didn't want to have to find them, but she did make small talk with his mother, Xenith thought she knew.
"Wait... that was your mother?????" Xenith nodded. "I expected her to- y'know- have antlers? Like you do. Y'know?"
"I got my antlers from my father." Larissa groaned. Xenith stared confused at her before she spoke up.
"Well, that's a lot of gold down the drain."
"Did- did you bet on which parent I got my antlers from???" Larissa eased into the couch, grinning ear to ear as she defended the bet she had gotten involved in.
"In my defense, it wasn't my bet!" Xenith narrowed his eyes at her, he was impossibly curious as to who this 'mystery' bet creator had been. "Leo thought it was a good idea- and then everyone started adding money to the bet-- and then it got out of hand." She admitted.
"Your brother hates me." the sheer bluntness of the statement made Larissa giggle. Xenith was half-sure it was true, but he didn't mind, usually.
"Which one? I have three." She playfully poked Xenith's side, he barely felt it through the numerous amounts of blankets.
"You know who!" Xenith pushed some of the blankets onto Larissa, she playfully grumbled and threw them right back at him. ""The last time we visited your family he glared at me for an hour. He hates me."
"He doesn't! End of conversation." She stared at the wall for a second; a telltale sign she was looking for a seamless change in conversation topics. "Anyways, when will I meet your family for real? Or will your folks die not knowing you met someone like me?" She leaned in and kissed Xenith to emphasize the last part. Xenith stared at her like a deer in headlights before willing a witty response to appear like a miracle from Lux themself.
"A comedian who--" Larissa cut him off with a targeted assault from a couch cushion.
"Nope. Don't you dare. You get way too much use out of that, I should get you an embarrassing moment that I can bring up all of the time. How about we go to a karaoke bar sometime, yeah?"
"Maybe I'd enjoy that?" His response earned him more faux annoyance from his girlfriend, he was almost worried he had actually upset her for a second, before he heard her stifled laughing.
Silence began to reign, Xenith begun to feel extremely tired. It was late, Larissa should probably be heading back to her apartment, or perhaps she could stay over?
"Can I touch your antlers?"
"Hm- Sure." Xenith moved, shifting a few of the blankets aside.
"What do they feel like?" She asked curiously, trailing her hands over the bone, she gripped them gently as if they might break.
"I can't actually feel them; they're made of dead bone." Xenith shrugged, Larissa nodded and began to handle his antlers more confidently.
Then, Xenith felt a slight sting in the right side of his head, followed by a loss of weight, he heard Larissa gasp, and when he looked up to face her, she looked like she had just processed the shock and had a haunted look on her face.
"OH MY GOD-- I'm so, so, so, so sorry- holy shit- I just broke your antler--- oh my god- I broke your antler and your head is bleeding- we need a doctor- or a cleric- or- or-" Xenith raised his hand to quiet her, she was still holding his antler, hands frozen clutching it in shock.
"It's fine; they fall off around this time every year." Xenith stood up, moving the blankets away from himself, he walked to the bathroom and grabbed a bandage from the cupboard, applying it like his father taught him. "It's normal." He hummed while bandaging the bleeding spot on his head, The other antler was also going to fall off soon.
"T-t-they DO?!?!?!?!?" She practically yelled. Xenith was concerned she might've woken the neighbors up. "That can't be painless, it just can't be!"
"It stings a little, but it isn't anything you can't get used to." Larissa stared at him like he had grown a second head.
"You could 'get used' to that????? I'm surprised you don't sell those things to a glue factory." She snarked, Xenith snorted as he walked past her and back to the couch, settling in his nest of blankets once more, Larissa followed him, sitting beside him while still holding his severed antler.
"Do you want to keep it?" The question was raised as a joke, but Xenith would let her have it if she wanted, he didn't need it.
"Sure, why not? I'll test if Emilio actually hates you by telling him I killed you and took this as a trophy." Xenith laughed, turning to face her.
"And if he doesn't?"
"I guess I'll just have to prove you're alive." She shrugged, leaning against Xenith and watching the fire roar. Somewhere in the flame's dance, Larissa had started to get sentimental. "I'm glad I met you." She leant further into Xenith, running her hand over the bandaged side of his head.
"I'm glad you told bad jokes." Xenith joked, he received an elbow in response.
"That was just a tough cro-- actually, yeah, those were some awful jokes."
A comfortable quiet fell over the two, neither knew if they'd last, if their relationship would end with them bitter or angry, but they knew they liked each other's company now, and that's all that mattered.
Standing at the alter, staring down the aisle made Xenith feel nervous, he felt like maybe Larissa wouldn't come walking down the aisle. Then he thought about seeing her, the idea alone made his heart skip a few beats. He felt out of place, his antlers felt too noticeable here, he knew it was just nerves; he had been told that thousands of times today alone, but it felt like he was mentally drowning while also soaring at the exact same time.
Xenith heard music begin to play, and he held his breath.
She was everything Xenith had imagined and more. The dress made him speechless on its own, but seeing her in it, walking towards him. It felt unreal, it felt like a blur. Like time had chosen to slow down and speed up at the same time just for this very moment.
He said his vows with the confidence of a man who had nothing else to know. He spoke clearly, despite tears rolling down his cheeks. He promised to be the man she could rely on until death, he promised to be in the front seat of all of her shows, he promised to be anything and everything she needed, to never stop loving her; through sickness and health, through good and bad times, through arguments, through sleepless nights, through everything.
He made promises he couldn't take back, promises he never wanted to break. He loved the woman standing before him, he wanted to stand by her side until his last days.
After the ceremony, the reception was almost as perfect; it wasn't the same beauty the ceremony had, the kind that had been organized months in advance, it was cheerful, joyful, it was everything Xenith wanted and more. He and Larissa cut the cake together. They laughed at each other's stupid jokes, well, Xenith's were stupid, Larissa told jokes that had people wheezing. When the party ended, they just sat on the front steps of the building together, talking.
It felt like this day would never come, it felt amazing to just sit next to his best friend, someone he trusted more than anyone else, his confidant, his lover, and now, his wife. It felt like if they went home, it wouldn't be real, they'd wake up and be engaged again. This felt like an amazing dream, but it was reality, wasn't it? And now they shared a life, they shared a dream.
Xenith threw himself into the bed of the hotel, he stopped Larissa before she joined him. "You need to have a shower, I don't want sand grains in the bed." He saw Larissa roll her eyes, but she grabbed a towel and began to walk towards the bathroom.
"Xen, you act like you don't have pieces of seaweed in your antlers." Xenith's hands immediately flew to his antlers; lo and behold, Xenith had seaweed tangled in his antlers that the shower hadn't blasted away. He pulled it out, throwing it into the trashcan beside the bed with a disgusted look on his face.
"Is there any left?" He saw an amused smirk on Larissa's face.
"Yeah, you got all of it." She walked into the bathroom and Xenith heard the water start to run. He began reading while he waited for Larissa to come out. he felt lucky, so, so lucky. He barely knew what made Larissa like him, he was rather boring in the grand scheme of things, and yet she still loved him, Larissa and him were planning a future together.
When Larisa came out, she collapsed onto the bed. Xenith moved closer to her. They were both exhausted, it was more than safe to say Xenith never wanted to handle a boat again, and diving was also an activity he would rather not try again, but today was nice, it was something neither of them would forget.
"Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I tried to sell my younger siblings?" Xenith stared at her; she was kidding. No one would try to sell their sibling, Xenith didn't have any, but they were family. Xenith couldn't imagine selling his family, or even wanting to.
"You tried to what?"
"Yeah, we tried to sell the youngest two. They were really annoying. We got pretty far with that plan, actually, and then dad found out; he put a stop to it before we actually managed to sell them. We did get some bids, though." Xenith stared shocked at Larissa. She seemed to have a great relationship with all of her siblings, Xenith never would've expected her to have almost sold her youngest ones.
"So, you tried to sell them? You got bids on them? And then, the plot was stopped by your father finding out instead of you all deciding you didn't want to sell your siblings, actually?"
"Yup. We were pretty mad about that for a while. I haven't managed to live it down." She explained, before she went quiet for a bit.
She laid her head right next to Xenith's. The day's chaos had began to catch up to them.
"Hm... and you still have a good relationship with them?" The question was rhetorical, he knew Larissa was close to her siblings, but after she tried to sell them-
"Mhm... Why? Do you want siblings?" Xenith wrapped his arms around her, he took a moment to think, before answering with honesty that surprised even himself.
"Sometimes... I had a good childhood, I think. But a sibling would've been nice; someone to spend time with, someone to play with-"
"Someone to blame when you break something?" The two chuckled, they both fell asleep before they continued the conversation. They were happy, content, euphoric. Their life was in the honeymoon phase, and they both dearly wished it would never end. Like a beautiful sunset they'd only ever see once.
Xenith sat by his wife's side; she had been getting worse since Marisol's fifth birthday. She assumed it was nothing, but they still went to the hospital. First, they said there were things they could try to stop or slow the decay, then they said odds were low, but there was still a chance, and then, after a long surgery, they said she was terminal and there was nothing they could do. Xenith still hadn't processed that, he held onto hope even when the smallest falls began to fracture or even break his wife's bones. He still hoped she'd get better when her memory started getting worse.
She didn't even know who he was anymore, they said she was on her last days and most of her family had already said goodbye. Xenith hadn't. He wouldn't. He couldn't. She was the star his life revolved around, he couldn't let her go.
So, he sat at her side, he was so far from her, but she wouldn't let him get close. Xenith occasionally made small talk, but she never replied anymore. Weeks ago, he would've had Marisol to distract him, but Emilio was right. It was selfish to keep her in the house.
To make her watch her mother die.
Larissa wasn't dying, she just needed Xenith, she needed him more than she ever had. She wasn't a lost cause, Emilio was just- he was-
He was right. He was the only one who saw things as they were.
Xenith stared at Larissa, he'd give her anything and yet he feared he had nothing left to give.
She was staring at him, her eyes were clearer than they had been in weeks, she wasn't looking through him or looking at him like he was a stranger; both of which he had grown accustomed to. It looked closer to the way she used to stare at him, and she looked upset.
"Why are you doing this?" The question haunted him as soon as she spoke it. "I don't want you here!" Xenith felt something inside him shatter, he saw the glassy look in Larissa's eyes returning. "You should be with her." Xenith gazed ahead, because what else could he do? She wasn't wrong; Xenith should be with his daughter, but he wasn't, he didn't want to let Larissa go, he would never let a stranger care for her, even if she saw him as a stranger. It felt like abandoning her. It was abandoning her. "Get out- get out!" She screamed, the sound rang throughout the house. Xenith's attempts to placate her were useless, only being met with more yelling, she wanted him gone, and the only thing Xenith could do was oblige.
He went to their room, he sat on the bed they used to share before climbing the stairs became a gamble of life and death, the same bed where their daughter would stay with them after a bad dream, the same bed where he held Larissa and assured her she wouldn't lose herself. Every time he said it was going to be okay felt like him lying to her face in retrospect, he didn't believe his own words anymore. He didn't think either of them would live this.
Xenith laid down, he pulled the sheets over himself, and he began to cry. For the wife he couldn't see he had lost, for himself, and for his daughter who would lose both of her parents at the same time; one to an illness she had since birth, and the other to a broken heart.
He woke up in the middle of the night, his eyes were red and he wanted to just lie in bed until he started to rot, but he went downstairs to check on Larissa.
Somewhere in the night, Larissa had died, and Xenith wasn't there. After everything, hadn't been there to hold her hand, to tell her one last lie; that he would be okay.
She was just... gone.
But, she couldn't be, she had been fine only hours ago- she- no- no- no- no.
He wouldn't let her go, even if she had already let him go, he just couldn't.
It wasn't fair.
He didn't deserve this.
He didn't do anything to warrant this.
He just wanted his life back, he wanted everything to be okay again.
It- it- it was okay, right...?
It had to be.
Because if he acknowledge he broke his promise, that he wasn't absent when she died, it never happened.
While making drinks, Xenith saw someone come to the bar, she looked exhausted and humiliated, and he knew why; She had done a set during the open mic night, and she had told objectively bad jokes. She hadn't been booed off the stage, but during her set, Xenith could've heard a pin drop. There was absolutely no laughter. In all honesty, Xenith had never seen somebody have a worse performance in his time working at the bar.
"Have yoi had a bad night?" She nodded, Xenith finished two drinks and gave them to their respective patrons.
"I bombed so awfully I'm pretty sure everyone here hates me." She groaned, leaning against the bar, grimacing.
"Well, those were some pretty bad jokes." Xenith didn't know what had gotten into him, he was normally one of the only bartenders who didn't mess with the customers. It wasn't exactly allowed to insult the customers, but everyone had a bad day sometimes, so their manger didn't fully care as long as they didn't get too complaints.
"Really? It- it was just a tough crowd, okay?" Xenith nodded, he disagreed, a lot, but he didn't need to admit that during work.
"Can I get you anything?"
"Surprise me, I don't care." Xenith stood there for a moment, but it wasn't the worst request he had gotten, so, he decided to humor her.
"Alcoholic, or non-alcoholic?"
"Alcoholic." She grumbled, Xenith just nodded, beginning to work on the drink. He thought she'd like something with berries, just something sweeter.
"So, what brings you here?"
"Testing my materiel, which - according to the crowd - was awful." She moved her arms around in exaggerated gestures while she talked. Xenith handed her the drink, and she dragged over a bar stool. "What's your name?" She swirled around her drink.
"Xenith. You are?" He wasn't entirely paying attention, but he saw her try the drink he made out of the corner of his eye, she looked very happy with it.
"Larissa. Hey, anything good about working here?" Xenith considered the question for a second; the pay wasn't anything to write home about, half of his job was cleaning up vomit, one quarter was forgetting how to make a drink that he needed to, and the last part of his job was actually making drinks. It wasn't the best job, truth be told.
"The location. It's close to home, so I don't have to walk far." He smiled at her.
"Oh, I have another question; what's the craziest drink order you've ever got?"
"I had someone ask for a hot chocolate mixed with vodka, and we don't sell hot chocolate." Then they spent an hour complaining about the fact they got denied, but he didn't need to mention that part.
"Oh, God. I'm imagining how that would taste and no." He saw Larissa shudder, a reaction Xenith himself felt when he thought of the Lux-forsaken concoction.
The two spent a little longer talking, before Xenith got busy and Larissa had to leave, she said she'd return, and she did, she and Xenith talked when the night was slow, it was nice, it made working a lot more enjoyable.
Xenith held Larissa's hand through contractions, it felt so long, and then, his world stopped; it was over, she was out, and what confirmed that was a wail, a loud, piercing wail that broke Xenith open. After they dried her off, she was placed on Larissa, they looked so peaceful, so perfect.
"You better be worth ten hours of absolute agony, okay?" Despite the comment, her voice lacked the usual edge it had.
He didn't know how long it was; minutes, an hour, maybe multiple hours, but it felt right. Xenith was immediately overcome by an unshakable love for his daughter, he'd give all he had for her, he'd fight the stars for her. She was his. He and Larissa had made a person together, it felt unreal and like the most real thing he had experienced at the same time. The responsibility was all-consuming, Xenith dreaded the sleepless nights ahead of them, he was worried something could go wrong, he was worried he wouldn't be a good enough father. What if he lost her? What if he wasn't paying attention for one second and she rolled off the changing table? What if she was held by him and just decided to hate him?
But then she was placed into his arms while Larissa was resting, and the worries didn't fade away, but they subsided enough for him to focus on the here and now. She looked st him with her huge eyes, and he stared back like his daughter had hung the stars.
Xenith knew he'd be there when she needed him, when she wanted to spend time with him, he'd burn in a million fires if it meant he could see her smile. He wanted to put her in a bubble and protect her from all of the wrongs in the world. He wanted everything to be the best it could be for her, and he'd stop at nothing to achieve that. He promised that to her and himself.
He always be there, and always be trying.
But a promise made, is a promise broken.
Xenith sat on the floor, his head was covered with news paper and tinfoil, Larissa couldn't decide which would protect his hair more. He sat on the sacrificial alter that was his love for his wife and daughter, waiting for his executioner; his three year old daughter.
And as if on cue, Larissa came walking down the stairs holding Marisol in her arms, finally having awoken from her nap. She placed their daughter in Xenith's arms, she was grinning ear to ear, it was Xenith's smile that she had. Larissa collected the paints and tied back her hair. Marisol was already in an apron and she had her curly hair tied back, Xenith and Larissa knew she'd still have half of the paint on her by the time they were done, but preventative measures were still worth something.
"Hey, are you excited, kiddo?" Xenith heard his daughter cheer as she crawled out of his arms. Larissa set up the paints and sat next to Xenith. She handed Marisol a paintbrush and Xenith watched as his daughter dipped the brush in the paint, toddling towards him with a manic grin. Larissa started with a demonstration. "Okay, so, watch what mommy does. I'm gonna put the brush on daddy's antler, and we're gonna make them look beautiful, yeah?" Xenith sat still as his wife explained her process.
"Yeah!!!!!!!" Marisol beamed, clutching the paintbrush in her tiny hands and walking towards Xenith. ready to paint his antlers in vibrant colors that likely wouldn't fade before they fell off.
Xenith leaned down so his daughter could reach his antlers, she giggled and began painting. He sat as still as he could while Marisol and Larissa were at work. It was rather uncomfortable, but it was worth it for the way he saw his daughter smiling when he glanced up.
The finished product was many streaks of contrasting colors, it didn't look the best, but it was the thought that counted. Once he was allowed to leave, he began working on dinner, as the one person in the house that could cook. He loved Larissa with everything he had, but she could burn oxygen without even trying. After dinner, Xenith and Larissa split cleaning while Marisol played in her playpen, or "toddler jail" as Larissa preferred to call it. Putting Marisol to bed was less of a fight than normal, a luxury Xenith appreciated very much.
Larissa sat Xenith on the carpet and began touching up Marisol's and her previous work. Once finished, Xenith and her began waiting for the paint to dry.
"I'm no artist, but I think I did a good job right there." Xenith stared at the design through the mirror; Larissa had turned what was a random serious of colors into an actual design. Xenith smiled at her, he loved her so much, he'd give the moon for her, she was his wife, the mother of his perfect daughter, and the person he wanted to spend his entire life with.
Everything felt so surreal.
Thousands of moments; silly, shocking, upsetting, exciting, life-changing, happy, brilliant, blissful moments that somehow made up a whole life together. One shift he had decided to cover was what got him here, one awful show was what led Larissa here. Every moment was special, and it made up the best thing to ever happen to Xenith.
He wanted a thousand more moments.
If only they had the time.
Xenith sat before both steaming mugs, waiting for a movement that - deep down - he knew would never come. He knew Larissa was still there, she had never left! Xenith had just decided to wander, this was just an outing, with his wife.
He loved her like nothing else, he was saving the world because she lived in it. She was his everything, she was right there, it was all okay. As long as Xenith had her, everything was fine.
He was okay.
"Are you not thirsty, love?" He asked the empty space next to him, she was there, she just was!
Suddenly, Xenith saw the mug move, his head snapped up, expecting to meet his wife's eyes, the same eyes he had seen at night for years. Instead, he saw Samuel's face. He was friendly with the hero, Samuel was on the same journey he was, in fact, Samuel had been searching for this danger longer than Xenith had. Xenith had just been wandering, and then he ran into Samuel and Ryne, and he stuck around because he could, because Larissa wanted him to defeat the Dark Lord, well- she would, but she had been quiet recently.
"Thanks! Xenith!" He smiled at the man in question, Xenith felt obligated to smile back, but he felt something inside of him go numb for a second.
Larissa was dead. She wasn't ever coming back. She was gone. Xenith would've given the world for her to live, and yet he was saving the world and she was dead. He had left his daughter behind to run away from reality.
No, no.
That wasn't true.
Larissa was okay, she was here. She was the best thing that had ever happened to Xenith and she was not dead.
Xenith sat there, not paying nay mind to Samuel's concern, he was thinking about his wife; his wife who was okay.
Everything was okay, as it had always been.