Chapter Text
It’s stupid. Shauna knows that. She knows exactly how dumb and petty it actually is, and she knows that she should be the bigger person and walk away, and she knows that if she doesn’t, then Mari definitely won’t, and honestly, even if she does, Mari might not. Girls like Mari, girls like Jackie, who get the things they want if they smile and bat their big dumb Bambi eyes or pull out their dad’s credit card or the universe sees that they’re near tears (even crocodile tears), don’t know what to do if what they want is someone to make subservient and small and that person—Shauna, usually—folds before they get to win that.
It was basically a misunderstanding. Until Mari fouled her. Normally they don’t do that kind of petty, dumb, borderline catfight shit, not with their cleats on and anything less than the team shrugged off of them. A clean slate for every match, but only for the match. Practices are usually better too, protected by their gear even if they don’t have their jerseys on. When their cleats and socks and shin guards are stripped off, the weight of every grievance and irritation slams back down like the strike of a guillotine.
Not that Shauna lets it get to her. Mari can be annoying, more so than most of the team honestly, but she’s Shauna’s friend, for the most part. They aren’t close, but there isn’t a wall between them. Not how there is with Jackie nowadays, that invisible barrier that Shauna can never push through no matter what she gives that Jackie wants. That boundary Jackie won’t even admit is there and Shauna won’t ask about.
She shouldn’t have to. That’s not what best friends do.
It was that stupid sleepover. They were drunk and dumb and Shauna should have stood her ground for once, said no and meant it, because Jackie said it was normal, because Mari does it too with half the fucking team and any other girl who laughs and says sure when Mari bats her stupid eyes at them, but Shauna didn’t feel like it was normal.
Maybe that’s why she’s butting heads so badly with Mari right now. It doesn’t feel good to be mad at Jackie for longer than it takes to do something stupid. Shauna’s not sure it feels good when she’s doing the stupid thing either.
But Mari is easier. Nothing ever gets to her, not really. Even in junior high when her kid cousin died and everyone was whispering about how awful it was and Shauna didn’t know what to say or think, Mari just walked back into school with a shit-eating grin and a rumor she claimed she’d heard from Kiffy Schumacher that Shauna was pretty sure she’d just made up because she was bored. Shit, Danny Mears used to grab her ass in the halls and squeeze and ask if that was okay or if Mar was a dyke because she made the girls’ varsity soccer team, and Mari’s going out with him now. “Like that was fucking courtship and not harassment,” Nat had said at the first party Mari showed up to with Danny’s arm around her like a stretched out noose.
Girls like that are untouchable. Shauna’s not really sure Mari’s smart enough to know when to be sad sometimes, which is probably too mean to say, but Shauna’s known her since they were five and only seen her tear up over broken nails and dives she took to try to score a free kick or a pen.
So, yeah, Shauna knows it’s stupid, but so is what Mari did. Big shocker there.
All the guilt Shauna feels about thinking that curdles at the pep rally. They’re seniors now—well, most of the starting line up are seniors now, sans Allie (who Jackie swears will grow on them all, and don’t they remember how they were as freshmen? Like anyone wants to remember how they were as freshmen, like Allie will even want to remember this in 3 years), Gen, and Melissa. Jackie is finally, officially team captain, instead of just doing all the work of the captain without the title like last year when their old captain realized how much more everyone likes Jackie and started “training” her for the role she was sure Coach Martinez would hand Jackie once she said sayonara. They’re going to States this year. And then maybe Nationals if Allie gets her head in the game and focuses on soccer instead of boys—like Mari being so boy crazy and Jackie’s incessant need to take Jeff back every time aren’t bad enough.
This is their first pep rally under Jackie’s captaincy, as this year’s line up of Yellowjackets. It matters. Jackie’s been talking Shauna’s ear off about it since before they were even done with tryouts.
Shauna doesn’t mean to fuck it up. It’s not like she’s the only one who fucks it up either. Mari is the one who steps on her shoelaces and makes it so Jackie and Tai both have to steady her so she doesn’t eat shit in front of the entire school—or at least, everyone who bothered showing up, considering what a shit show their last captain made them at the second half of the season.
Shauna just reacts to that. Badly maybe. It’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back after a week of Mari whispering loud enough to make it clear she’s being mean until Shauna walks closer and Shauna white-knuckling her pen at lunch because Jackie is too stressed out about the team to listen to Shauna.
She doesn’t shove Mari or anything. It’s not violent. They don’t do that off the pitch, and not to each other without a versus drill or one of them in a pinny. They aren’t animals.
It’s just—
“Why are you being such a bitch, Mari!?” Shauna doesn’t mean to yell it. She’s not normally loud like that.
Mari doesn’t even give Shauna a moment to look remorseful. “What the fuck is your problem, Shipman?”
Shauna hates being called Shipman. She really hates when Mari does it like she has any fucking right to that. She doesn’t really register what she’s saying or doing, just that she’s in Mari’s face and so angry that slapping Mari doesn’t sound crazy when she thinks it.
And then someone’s grabbing her shoulders and wrangling her like an unruly animal, not a teenage girl who’s understandably pissed off at what an impossible brat her teammate is.
“Shauna, what’s wrong with you!?” Jackie says, and it sounds too far for her to be the one pulling Shauna away from Mari, which is almost worse. And why is it just her being yelled at?
Why does Mari just get tugged away from her by Lottie with a mumble of, “Easy, Mar, Jesus Christ” like she wasn’t in Shauna’s face snarling back?
So it could have gone better, but Mari started it.
Jackie doesn’t care who started it. She doesn’t care if her best friend is just reacting to Mari’s bullshit, never mind that Jackie thinks Mari is annoying—because she is annoying. Even the girls on the team Mari gets on with the best—Van, Laura Lee weirdly enough, Gen, and, in a strictly beer pong capacity, Nat—know that Mari is fucking annoying.
Even Shauna, who’s pretty sure she likes Mari more than Jackie (at least, normally, she does) knows Mari is annoying.
But Jackie’s ordered Mari and Shauna both to the locker room to demand to know, “What the hell was that!? You embarrassed us out there. You embarrassed the team. Do you want us to be a joke like the fucking baseball team? Seriously. What’s up with you two? You’re friends, aren’t you? Or teammates at least?”
Mari is pouting up a storm, twisting her hands distractingly next to Shauna. “Jax, I’m sorry—” Mari starts.
At the same time: “I didn’t mean to—”
Shauna shoots Mari a glare. Who is she to use Shauna’s nickname for Jackie?
Mari glares back.
“Oh, my God! No, okay. Our first game is next Friday. If you play like you hate each other, we lose. You guys know that. And I know neither of you want us to lose, so I need you to fix this. Okay? We all do.” Jackie’s got that puppy dog look in her eyes that always makes Shauna’s stomach tangle up like a necklace left in her pocket.
Shauna deflates. “Okay. I’m sorry.”
Mari kicks at the floor, all bratty. “Sorry.”
Jackie’s big doe eyes dart between them, flickering worse than the overhead lights in Shauna’s AP English class. “Can you do me a favor, Mar?”
Something unpleasant unfurls in Shauna’s stomach.
“Anything!” Mari says.
“Cancel that party you’ve been planning.” Jackie can’t be serious, except that her face is unwavering, and she’s got a hand delicately resting on Mari’s arm the way she does to Jeff when she’s asking him to do something he really doesn’t want to.
Mari’s mouth flutters uselessly for a long moment. She can’t seem to figure out what the hell to say to that. She did tell Jackie she’d do anything. But Shauna knows she’s been looking forward to this since she found out her parents would be spending the weekend in Summit to take care of Mari’s great uncle or something and were pawning her little brothers off to their aunt since Mari’s busy with soccer.
And it’s not like parties at Mari’s are a small deal or anything either. Mari’s one of three people in their grade with a pool—and she’s the only one with a hot tub. But parties at hers are pretty rare since she has to get her parents and brothers out of the house to host.
For a moment, Shauna thinks maybe Mari will say no to Jackie for the first time since the third grade. Then Mari’s bottom lip is quivering, and Shauna tears her gaze away.
Mari lets out a little sigh. “Okay, Jackie. Um, why?”
“I want you and Shauna to have a sleepover instead so you can actually work this out. For our team.” Jackie’s face goes painfully earnest as she searches Mari’s eyes for some kind of white flag. She glances at Shauna, and Shauna’s face burns. “For me.”
Shauna and Mari exchange a glance. This is going to bite.
When Shauna pulls up to the Ibarra household on Friday night, there’s a sign taped to the front door that has Mari’s shitty handwriting Sharpied on it in bright pink capitalized letters: “PARTY CANCELLED. I’M SORRY.” that Shauna can see from the curb. Somehow, the sight of it makes Shauna feel bad. It’s not her fault Mari cancelled her stupid party just because Jackie asked her to. Even if Jackie asked her to so that Shauna and Mari could have a sleepover because they’ve been fighting.
It’s like they say. It takes two to tango.
Shauna stares past the sign as she knocks on Mari’s mahogany door. Then she realizes maybe she should have rang the bell. Mari’s house is huge, but she’s probably waiting in the den or something for Shauna, right? It would be weird to ring the bell this soon after knocking if Mari is downstairs like she should be.
She fidgets with the sleeve of her flannel, wondering too late if she looks as stupid as she feels. She’s never had a sleepover with just Mari. The only person Shauna’s ever had private sleepovers with is Jackie, but even those are way less frequent now that they’re seniors, almost done with their high school days. Almost all grown up.
Something awful inside Shauna makes her early decision admission letter burn in her gut. She got it before winter break even started, and now it feels like a death sentence. Maybe Shauna will live, but her friendship with Jackie won’t. They’re never going to have sleepovers with just each other again once Jackie knows.
The door swings open inward without so much as a creak. Mari’s standing there, smiling in a patterned pencil skirt and a baby blue crop top with her belly exposed and a butterfly chain around it, her hair in those fluffy pigtails she likes for matches and pep rallies but not practice. Jesus. Who the hell is she dressed like that for?
Mari’s face sours so fast that Shauna scowls back at her.
Like she read Shauna’s mind, Mari says, “Gossip only spreads so fast. A few people already called to ask, but if anyone stops by and tries to knock anyway, I don’t wanna answer the door in my pajamas.”
Shauna doesn’t know what to say to that. She stands there stupidly for a moment. “Can I come in?”
Mari rolls her eyes and steps aside. She doesn’t actually say yes, but she’s not being a total bitch and saying no either. That’s probably a start.
As they walk through the foyer, Shauna’s eyes trace over the photos that line the walls and the tables along it: family portraits, professional shots of Mari and her brothers and her parents, on their own and altogether, smiling perfectly like they like each other instead of just loving each other. Like they never even fight, which Shauna knows is bull, at least for Mari and her brothers who she calls “the dweebs.” But Mari still act affronted when someone else says they’re annoying, even though they are.
What is it like, to be so perfectly, frustratingly normal?
No matter how many times Shauna goes to Mari’s house, to do homework or have a sleepover or sit on the outskirts of a party, she never gets used to it. Even Jackie’s family isn’t this picturesque.
It’s getting weird how quiet Mari is being. She can barely even help herself when Coach Martinez is really pissed at them. She always has to stifle a giggle or loudly whisper something snarky. No one gets the team punished with extra suicides like Mari.
How has no one ever slapped her? Shauna doesn’t want Mari to get slapped, but with the amount of people Mari pisses off on the daily, it’s kind of weird no one has ever snapped.
Guiltily, Shauna shakes her head to will the thought away. “Jackie’s at a party in Green Brook with Jeff right now.” She doesn’t know why she says it. “When she told him your party was off, he said he knew a guy or something. I don’t know.”
As they settle into the den, Mari finally looks at Shauna again. Her arms are folded in front of her chest, her French tips biting into her forearms. Her annoyed face kind of reminds Shauna of the guinea pig they had Mrs. Gazzoli’s class back in second grade. Whenever the boys poked that guinea pig too much it would make this mean, furry face and squeal like Mari used to if you pulled her pigtails on the playground. “Seriously? She gets to get drunk with her boyfriend while we’re basically grounded?”
Shauna snorts at that. “She’s not our mom.” She bites her lip. It feels wrong to say this to Mari. “And we were embarrassing the team in front of everyone.”
Mari deflates. “I don’t, like, wanna lose.”
“I know,” Shauna says. It feels oddly heavy on her tongue. She’s still just standing by the foyer, watching. If there were other people here, drunk off their asses and making out and yelling over music blasting through Mari’s dad’s expensive speaker system, it would be no different from a party.
“At homecoming, I heard Randy telling Danny we suck. We don’t suck. I mean, Jenna sucked at being captain and our left defense was shit last year, but we don’t suck. We’re actually, like, really good.” The chain around Mari’s belly glints in the light as she shifts in place. “How about we just call a truce and get drunk? Neither of us wanna lose, so we can just… play like a fucking team and win instead.”
The thought of getting drunk sounds really pleasant. “Okay. Do you have Malibu?”
Mari’s nose wrinkles, the chain around her belly jingling as she crosses the den to lead them to her parent’s liquor cabinet. “Are you gonna mix it with milk? I saw you doing that at Becky’s lame ass party. Before we all ditched it.”
Shauna didn’t even know Mari was at that party. She thought Mari and Becky Colgate hated each other. “Malibu and milk is good.”
“Ew. I’m so not letting you touch my milk. I’m pretty sure Alex drank from the carton this morning anyway, so really, I’m doing you a favor.” It’s hard to tell if Mari is teasing or being bitchy tonight.
The alcohol will probably help.
Shauna wouldn’t say she’s drunk right now, but she’s definitely on the wrong side of tipsy. Or maybe it’s the right side. She can’t think fast enough to know. There’s that familiar fuzzy warmth in her stomach—and the complicated tangle in her chest that she can’t touch without sinking deeper into. If she closes her eyes, she can see Jackie dancing with Jeff, her hips swaying in a floral dress and that homecoming queen smile across her face, somehow untouchable even with Jeff’s sweaty hand in hers.
“Shaunaaaa,” Mari says, giggly as she plops her legs in Shauna’s lap. They’re on the couch with their mostly empty red solo cups (at Mari’s insistence, to make it feel like the party she was supposed to have) on the coffee table. Mari’s legs are long and smooth looking. She must shave every day—and moisturize like Jackie is always saying Shauna should remember to. Shauna only shaves every other day or so because it’s way too much work.
Would it be weird to pet Mari’s legs? She put them right across Shauna’s lap, and her skirt is short to start with and riding up even more like this, and it’s not like Mari doesn’t know she has nice legs, right? She’s a soccer player. She rolls her ankle in Shauna’s lap, and her calf flexes prettily.
Shauna is staring. She’s definitely staring because she’s too foggy-brained to not stare. Her tongue feels fat in her mouth.
Mari’s legs are different from magazine spreads, in that she has pores and a little white scar on her inner thigh that Shauna needs to not look at and a scrape on her shin from practice. She’s human still. Despite that bubble she seems to exist in, free from anything too bad or strange ever touching her.
Her leg is even softer than it looks under Shauna’s fingertips. Colder, too.
Mari makes a soft noise in her throat, her calves flexing as Shauna strokes absentmindedly along the length of her shins. Shauna’s hand is trailing goosebumps up to Mari’s knee.
Back in junior high, they used to play a game sometimes. On rainy days when they had to stay locked inside until they lost their minds. Shauna doesn’t think it ever had a really name (or maybe she’s just not sober enough to remember it), but the premise was simple: you moved your hand up someone’s leg slowly, starting at the ankle, where even Mari has a tiny wisp of soft but stubby leg hairs she missed shaving, and going up as high as you could until they said they were nervous. It was supposed to be a boy doing the touching. Shauna remembers Mari did it to Randy Walsh once, and he popped a boner in his jeans that made his face turn bright red and everyone in that corner of the room laugh like hyenas. They were laughing at Randy until someone pointed out that it was weird that Mari did that to him.
Did Mari ever play that game in a skirt? Shauna can’t remember. It was always so cold out when they played.
This is kind of like that, though. In a weird way. Does that make Shauna the boy?
Her stomach lurches.
“You were such a—hic—bitch that practice. It was weird,” Mari says. It’s almost cute that she hiccups over the word bitch, except for the part where she’s calling Shauna a bitch.
“Pot.” Shauna scowls, or at least she tries to, her brows furrowing and her mouth moving uncoordinatedly. She gestures vaguely.
Mari sits up slightly, her belly chain jingling with the movement. Her elbows are digging into the couch cushions. One of her pigtails has flopped behind her shoulder. She looks like Gen’s dog does when its ear gets flipped.
Shauna stops petting Mari’s legs, the urge to reach out and tug on her pigtails like when they were kids flaring up in her belly all over again. Her arm twitches. She could just do it. It’s easy. She knows that. She could yank Mari’s hair free from its hair ties, leave it mussed up all around her pretty face.
Jackie’s hair was all mussed up that night.
“I’m not Natalie. Why would I have—” Mari gets cut off by the doorbell ringing out. “Ugh. Can’t they read?”
Shauna snorts. “You suck at reading.”
Mari kicks her square in the ribs. She looks all huffy as she gets up from her spot on the couch, grumbling incoherently as she stomps all the way to the front door. Her voice carries through the foyer and into the den as she insists that sorry, but the party is cancelled, really, she told everyone to tell everyone else, there’s some party in Green Brook apparently, sorry, her parents are being dicks.
Shauna glances at her cup. She downs the last bit of it—vodka with Cherry 7UP because Mari insisted on making Shauna drink some normal cocktails. It’s not as good as Malibu and milk.
“It hurt my feelings,” Mari says, but it comes out impossibly bratty.
It’s not Shauna’s fault that that’s funny. Or that she can’t stop laughing.
Mari stomps over and kicks her shins, very second grade. She grabs her drink, apparently picking now to remember it exists. “You were mean. You’re not mean. Why were you mean to me, Shauna?” Her bottom lip wobbles before she takes a swig. She’s crossing her arms again, almost dropping the cup in the process. It’s making her boobs look bigger in a way Shauna shouldn’t notice. Mari doesn’t have very big boobs, but they’re kind of perfect looking. Perky and round and full enough that they’d spill out of your palms like something out of a porn mag.
But Shauna doesn’t make a habit out of looking at porn mags—or at her teammates’ chests. She just knows that right now Mari’s pushing her boobs up, and they look… soft. And so, so full.
“Are you even listening? You’re like Danny.” Mari kicks her again.
Danny gets to touch Mari’s boobs whenever he wants. He’s been doing that since before he was even Mari’s boyfriend. Shauna blinks. “You weren’t taking it seriously. Practice. The team.”
Mari’s brow furrows. “It was conditioning. We weren’t even doing drills yet. We were just warming up, you buzzkill.” She wobbles in her jelly shoes before she sets her cup back down.
“And you had to hog all the attention by making it about you!” Shauna doesn’t mean to blurt it out. It just comes up like vomit.
Mari stumbles back, blinking. “Wh—so you fouled me during our scrimmage? Are you psycho? What the hell, Shipman?”
“You fouled me!” Shauna throws her arms up.
That gets her the bird. “Yeah, ‘cause you fouled me first!” Mari plops down onto the cushion next to Shauna and slumps down so her head is in Shauna’s lap and her feet are on the arm of the couch. “… Sorry I elbowed your rib.”
Shauna gulps. “Sorry I pulled your hair.”
Mari snorts. It’s so abrupt it makes Shauna’s head whip around. Mari’s breath is hot on Shauna’s lap, even through the fabric of her jeans. Her gaze is unfocused. “Not the first time, Shipman. You’re worse than Danny.”
It’s more upsetting than it should be. “Danny groped you in the hallway all through sophomore and junior year until you went out with him.” Shauna doesn’t mean for it to come out so sharp. She takes a deep breath, watching Mari tense up. “I just… pulled your hair a few times when we were kids.”
“And last week,” Mari says, snarky all over again.
Shauna can’t help but roll her eyes.
“Danny wants me to blow him.” It’s so out of the blue that Shauna’s not sure Mari is even talking to her. “I’ve never done that before. We usually just do, like… handjobs. Um, sometimes we dry hump… Forget I said that.”
Is that Shauna’s breath going all ragged or Mari’s?
“I don’t wanna be bad at it,” Mari says in a rush, barreling on, “so I’ve been—practicing.”
Shauna chokes on her own spit. “Wh—practicing with who?”
“Not a boy! I’m not a cheater. It’s… Van gave me this stupid fucking… Ugh, can I just show you?” Mari rolls over onto her back, bringing herself closer to Shauna’s stomach for her to stare up all wide-eyed.
All that comes out of Shauna’s fluttering mouth is “Um,” but Mari doesn’t seem discouraged in the slightest. She gets up eagerly, and Shauna has to shake her head to stop seeing a tail wagging when Mari wiggles her hips for some fucking reason.
Mari practically skips out of the den, glancing behind her when she hits the doorway to the hall. “Come on, you’ll laugh.”
This is getting along, Shauna’s pretty sure, so she should follow Mari. It’s what Jackie would want her to do, probably. And what the hell does Mari mean she’s been practicing giving head for her stupid boyfriend?
Shauna grips the railing all the way up the stairs, staring at the way the belly chain glints gold and digs into Mari’s skin, leaving cute little butterfly imprints along her waist. Isn’t she cold? Well, Shauna knows Mari is cold. She remembers how cold Mari’s legs felt when they were in her lap. Shauna’s seen Mari’s Halloween costumes over the years. They’ve gotten pretty slutty in recent memory. Mari must be used to being cold.
Jackie always says Shauna runs hot. She likes to warm her cold hands on Shauna’s sides, skin to skin, at parties in the woods when they’re too early in spring or too late in fall. Jackie had her hands on Shauna’s sides at their last sleepover. They weren’t cold then. They were almost as warm as Shauna.
Shauna goes to take an extra step at the top of the stairs like a moron. She stumbles forward into Mari’s back, making Mari straighten like she got zapped, shivering through the motion.
“Sorry,” Shauna says.
“You’re drunk,” Mari says, twirling one of her pigtails around her fingers and glancing back. Then she’s at her bedroom door, twisting the knob and going straight for her nightstand. She pulls open the drawer and grabs something Shauna can’t really see from the doorway, except for the flash of color before it’s obscured by Mari’s silhouette. “I didn’t buy this. I don’t even know where Van bought it. She just… thought it was funny. Or something.”
Shauna doesn’t get to reply before Mari turns around, brandishing a long purple dildo. “Holy shit.”
Mari makes a sheepish expression. “It’s not like I stick it inside or anything.” She bites her lip. “I’m a virgin. But Van gave it to me for Christmas, and then Danny asked if I’d blow him, and, like… it was there. It makes sense to practice on it.”
“Right…” Shauna’s not sure it does. Or maybe that’s just her brain going fuzzy with static at the thought of Mari wrapping her lips around that dildo and sucking. Why the hell is she thinking of that? Mari said it and put the idea in her head, and it’s not weird to think of that. Right? Would Jackie agree? Would Mari ever say that to Jackie?
Mari’s head cocks to the side, the dildo tilting with her. Jesus. She doesn’t exactly have small hands (not that Mari has big hands either). That thing is big. Can she even take all of that in her mouth without choking?
“Wanna help me?” Mari bursts the bubble on Shauna’s thought.
Shauna blinks rapidly. “What?”
Mari rolls her eyes. “Help me practice blowjobs. For Danny.”
Okay, that’s definitely not fucking normal. “What the fuck? How would I even—what?”
“I thought you were smart. You’d, like, hold it for me. Duh.”
Shauna blanches. “Did you get dropped as a baby? You want me to hold a dildo for you to—to suck?”
Mari makes a face. “Don’t call it that. It’s a dick, Shauna.”
“You want me to hold a dick for you to suck!?” This has to be some weird prank. Mari can’t actually be asking Shauna this. No one would ask Shauna this unless it was some weird prank or alternate dimension or they had lost their mind. And Shauna thinks she can safely rule the latter two things out, probably.
“When you say it like that it sounds weird.” Mari’s bottom lip juts out. “Whatever. This was supposed to be a pool party. Let’s go use the hot tub.”
“… I didn’t bring my swimsuit,” Shauna says. “And it’s freezing.”
Mari perks up. “That’s fine. I have swim trunks you can borrow. Danny left some, like, board shorts. Plus, it’s not like there’s snow. The hot tub will warm us up.”
Shauna thinks that sounds kind of weird, but it’s way less weird than Mari practicing head on her. There’s no harm in borrowing Mari’s annoying boyfriend’s board shorts. Or at least, there’s a lot less harm than in staying Mari’s bedroom where neither of them are sober enough to know what the hell Mari is asking.
She tugs at the sleeve of her flannel, trying not to feel deeply stupid as she watches Mari toss the dildo—dick, apparently—onto her bed before rummaging through a drawer in her dresser that seems to consist mostly of those stupid preppy sweaters she’s always tying around her shoulders like she just came from the country club. She fishes out a pair of mint green board shorts that Shauna hasn’t actually seen Danny in before but really do look like they could only be his. Mari tosses them at Shauna and turns back to her dresser to find something else. She kicks off her jelly shoes and tugs the hem of her crop top up and over her head without so much as a warning.
Shauna’s face burns. She’s seen Mari change a million times, but only in the presence of the team, only in the context of them as the Yellowjackets. This is starkly different in a way Shauna can’t explain. Her head is still moving too slow and too clumsily to find the words. It makes sense, doesn’t it? It’s not like Shauna’s ever looked at Mari. She doesn’t even think she’s actually seen Mari’s bare nipples, and definitely not between her legs.
With her smooth back to Shauna, Mari reaches behind herself to unhook the clasp of her bra. Her shoulder blades jut out sharply with the movement, the band separating cleanly, lilac resting prettily against her skin. They’re still pretty freshly out of winter. This is still pale for Mari. What does that bra look like against her skin in the summer, when she’s at her tannest? Shauna feels like a fucking pervert for wondering, but if Mari notices, she doesn’t say a word. She just hums the chorus of “Fu-Gee-La” and carries on, shimmying out of her skirt to reveal a matching lacy thong. Jesus Christ. Does Mari wear thongs with skirts a lot? No wonder Danny kept grabbing her ass.
Shauna can see pretty much her entire ass. Mari is so hairless it’s fucking absurd. Does she shave everywhere but her arms or something? Shauna’s mom told her once not to shave above the knee unless she wanted to look like a working girl. Mrs. Ibarra must not have the same concern—or Mari just doesn’t care.
She must be doing it for Danny. Her boyfriend Danny. Her very annoying boyfriend who’s honestly worse than Jeff. At least Jeff is funny sometimes. Not funny enough for Jackie to keep taking him back, over and over again no matter what Shauna does or says, but funny enough to not be terrible to smoke with as long as Jackie’s not clinging onto him too much. Danny isn’t even funny.
Mari’s thong is halfway down her thighs which is dangerous.
Shauna forces her gaze down to her legs. She needs to get dressed. Mari wants to go down to her hot tub which is probably why she’s undressing, so Shauna should put on Mari’s stupid boyfriend’s board shorts. She fumbles with the zipper of her jeans before pushing them down. The cold hits her thighs as her jeans get stuck at her feet. She should have kicked her shoes off first. She tugs at one, not bothering with the laces even before she’s folding the back over and forcing it off her foot, and then the other shoe off the other foot, so her jeans can follow. She kicks them onto the fuzzy carpeting of Mari’s bedroom and undoes the fly of Danny’s board shorts to pull them on. They’re a little tight around her hips and her ass, but they fasten anyway. Does she look stupid with her flannel on? She must. Shauna shrugs it off, leaving her in her T-shirt and Danny’s board shorts. This probably looks stupid too.
A snapping sound startles Shauna into looking up and seeing Mari in a yellow bikini. Shauna’s seen Mari in yellow a lot,—their home and away jerseys are blue and white with blue through the sleeves and collar respectively with gold accents, but Mari’s favorite of their school colors must be yellow since she always opts for the yellow version of their hoodies over the blue—but usually less of Mari’s skin is on display for that. Shauna gets it. She really, really gets why Mari likes yellow so much when her boobs look like that in their yellow bikini top and the string is so cute against her shoulders and neck.
Shauna’s face is on fire. She can feel the heat of shame, of embarrassment down her neck and chest. She hopes Mari doesn’t notice how red she is, or thinks it’s just because they’ve been drinking. Absurdly, she’s relieved she doesn’t have a dick for Mari to see the outline of, bulging in Danny’s board shorts as she tries not to stare at the fullness of Mari’s breasts straining against her bikini top, the curve of her waist that looks like it was made to be held, her cute little hips, her thighs. Shauna’s seen Mari in less a million times in the locker room, and yet.
If Jackie could read Shauna’s mind right now, she’d never let that sleepover happen again.
But Jackie can’t read Shauna’s mind right now, isn’t even here to try, because Jackie made Shauna have a sleepover with Mari and fucked off to Green Brook with her dumb boyfriend who Shauna knows Jackie has given head to like Mari’s dumb boyfriend wants Mari to do, like Mari wants Shauna to hold the fucking—the dick to practice doing.
“Ready!” Mari says, smiling brightly. “Shaunaaa, grab us towels from the cabinet? The one in the hall.”
Shauna does as she’s asked this time, even though Mari doesn’t say please, because grabbing a towel is a reasonable request unlike Mari’s other one, unlike Jackie’s, even if that one seems to be working out okay.
Mari grabs a half drunk bottle of tequila and makes Shauna grab a 2 liter of Coke on their way out. Shauna rolls her eyes about how Mari has two hands too as she stacks it onto the towels. Mari giggles obnoxiously, probably relishing in Shauna doing her bidding—but the team is more important than what a bitch Mari can be when she feels like it. She can be nice when she feels like it.
Mari flicks the backyard lights on, balancing the tequila close to her cleavage, and the door closes behind her. There’s the sound of her plucking a lime from the tree along the path, and then, with little more than a “Head’s up,” it’s being tossed to Shauna like Shauna is supposed to have the hand-eye coordination for that while holding everything, but oddly enough it lands squarely on the pile of towels, next to the bottle of Coke.
“… What was that?” Shauna says, blinking.
“A lime?” Mari is using that “are you dumb?” voice that usually gets used on her.
“No, you just… I’d know if you played softball, wouldn’t I?” They’ve only known each other for forever.
Mari scoffs. “The dweebs like to play catch. You’re so weird. Set that down on the table and turn the tub on.”
Shauna places the towels down and moves the soda off them to set down separately. She glances at the tub, unsure of how to turn it on. Is there a switch she doesn’t know about?
“Okay, no, it’s like… Whatever. I’ll do it.” Mari sets down the tequila, its glass bottle thunking against the table, and walks around the tub to the back of it where she does… something Shauna can’t see, and the tub gradually comes to life.
Shauna thumbs at the hem of her shirt, unsure of if she should shed it or not. Is it weirder to be in her T-shirt or her bra with Danny’s board shorts on? Her shirt will get wet. She brought sweats to sleep in but not another shirt. Would Mari lend her one of Danny’s shirts if hers got wet?
The water breaks, and Mari moans a little too loudly.
“You sound like a—” Shauna swallows her own words as she catches sight of Mari in the tub, the water just beneath the swell of her breasts, her arms resting on the sides, and her hand wrapped around the purple dildo. Her manicured nails are cuter than they should be in contrast. “Mari, what the fuck?”
Mari just moans again, arching her back beneath the water. “You’ve never mixed Coke and tequila? I know rum is more popular, but—”
“You brought the fucking dildo? What’s wrong with you?” Shauna’s face burns even though her legs are arms are prickling with the chill night air.
“The dick, and I just forgot I had it, Shipman. Relax.” Mari’s eyes are closed peacefully, her back still curving. Her body is lit up blue beneath the water, her skin and her bikini bottoms and her belly and the butterfly chain around it are all tinged with it.
Except, didn’t Mari set it down when she was getting dressed? Didn’t she need to grab it again to bring it down to the hot tub?
Shauna’s nipples ache under her bra. Her clit feels stiff in Danny’s board shorts. Why did Jackie do this to her? Why is Mari doing this? Why is Shauna so… so fucking horny? She’s not… she doesn’t want to be practice. She’s never let Mari kiss her at any sleepover or party. She shouldn’t have let Jackie tell her it was normal that Mari kisses the others. Maybe it is for Mari, but Shauna doesn’t feel like that. She can feel her clit swelling like a dick would. Like something Mari wants to suck. Her whole body is buzzing, fuzzy and loud and hungry in a way she can’t explain.
“Mix our drinks?” Mari’s big doe eyes flutter, her lashes kissing her cheeks prettily. “Come on. I’ll be your best friend.”
“Jackie is my best friend,” Shauna says. It spills out of her before she can help it.
Mari groans softly, her head falling back. Her throat is just… open. Exposed and vulnerable. She doesn’t have any hickeys along it. What the hell is Danny’s problem?
Shauna’s whole body is tingling. “We don’t have cups.”
“From the bottle then,” Mari says, sighing as her grip tightens on the dildo. The dick. The thing Mari’s been blowing for practice.
Shauna unscrews the cap of the Coke bottle, letting the sound of it fizzing drown out the sound of her pulse racing in her ears. Her hands are shaking as she lines its neck up with the tequila bottle and pours, trying not to spill any. She doesn’t manage that. Soda slips through the grooves of the table. But most of it ends up in the tequila bottle. Or at least, enough of it does. She sets the plastic bottle back down unsteadily. The lime is cold when Shauna picks it up.
How the fuck is she supposed to juice it?
“… You brought a dildo but not a knife.” It shouldn’t be funny, except that it is, for some fucking reason. Shauna can’t help but laugh harder than she should.
“It’s a dick, Shauna. Are you slow?” Mari huffs. The arm not holding the dick drops into the water, splashing it up onto her cleavage.
Shauna stops laughing. She shouldn’t stare. Mari’s gonna get the wrong idea. Right? Shauna is turned on, but she can’t actually want to put her mouth on Mari’s breasts. That can’t be right. It’s not normal. And Shauna’s staring is gonna go to Mari’s head. Her tits aren’t even that big. They’re just… nice. Pretty.
“God, whatever. Fuck the lime. Just take a swig and get in, loser.” Mari gestures with the dick like that’s normal.
Even outside the hot tub, Shauna’s panties feel wet between her legs. Inside of Mari’s boyfriend’s board shorts. The board shorts she put Shauna in.
Shauna takes a swig from the tequila, gulping greedily. Jackie would tell her she’s drinking too much, but this is what it takes to get in the fucking hot tub with Mari and the purple dick and—she wants to do that. She gasps for air, slamming the glass bottle down to clang against the table. She lets go.
Mari’s stupid fucking hot tub is so nice. Her shirt is getting wet too, up to the belly, but the water is really, really nice, relaxing her body immediately. Maybe that’s the tequila. Either way, Shauna groans. Her clit is still hard in Danny’s board shorts, her pussy fluttering uselessly. She can’t finger herself here. She wouldn’t. Mari would think…
“You’re getting all wet.” Mari’s voice comes out in an exhale as she crosses the tub to settle between Shauna’s open legs. She sets the dick down on the edge, her hands dipping under the water to the hem of Shauna’s shirt. Her face is flushed. Her breath comes out unsteady as she starts to tug up.
Shauna should stop her. She should grab Mari’s wrists and asks what she’s doing.
But Mari’s not wrong. Shauna’s getting all wet.
Mari’s hands are slow, lifting Shauna’s shirt up like she thinks Shauna’s going to smack her or like maybe she’s just teasing. Then her lips are warm on Shauna’s, plush and firm and so much surer than Shauna’s ever seen Mari off the pitch. She opens her mouth to lap slowly at the seam of Shauna’s lips, and right when Shauna opens up, she pulls back. The shirt comes off, dripping onto Shauna’s cleavage, onto her tan bra in dark little splatters.
Shauna leans forward to kiss Mari again, open mouthed and desperate in a way she’ll hate herself over later. Right now, her brain feels like it’s flatlining, fuzzy and blank except for this one clear need. She doesn’t know if she’s allowed to touch, but she knows she’s allowed to kiss. Mari said so. Mari kissed her first.
She’s rewarded with Mari licking into her mouth, her tongue flat and hot and sweet. She still tastes like vodka and Cherry 7UP as she moans into Shauna’s mouth, one hand cupping Shauna’s jaw to steady their kiss and the other breaking the water and splashing it onto them both. Mari is sucking Shauna’s tongue into her mouth almost lazily, her own tongue gently beneath Shauna’s, her thumb stroking Shauna’s jaw as a weight settles into Shauna’s hand. Mari stops stroking Shauna’s jaw and laps intermittently into Shauna’s mouth as she nudges Shauna’s hand into her lap.
Is that the dick?
Shauna groans. “You’re so stupid, Mari.”
Mari pulls back a hair, her hand dropping from Shauna’s jaw to her shoulder. “Shut up.” She presses a light kiss to Shauna’s wet lips then her tongue darts out to lick them teasingly. Her hands are moving again, moving Shauna’s hand over the fly of Danny’s board shorts. “Just let me suck your dick.”
It hits Shauna’s clit like lightning, making her hips buck involuntarily. “Your boyfriend’s dick. You put me in his dumb shorts.” She’s panting when she says it, and it undercuts how mean she feels.
Under the water, Shauna watches Mari’s hand stroke half the length of the dick. She tries not to whine about it.
“Your dick,” Mari says. “It’s yours. It’s… I’m practicing on your dick, Shauna, you—you fucking loser. So just let me.”
“… You can’t suck it under the water, moron. Let me just—” Shauna stands up, nudging Mari back as she does. She sits herself down on the edge of the tub, only vaguely feeling the chill of the air doubled with her wet skin. Her stomach is too hot and twisted up for it to bother her properly. She’s pretty sure she’s drunk now, blinking wide-eyed as she situates the dick over the fly with both hands. She’s holding it by the base, but her clit is throbbing too much. She needs to hold it a little further from her body. Just a bit out for Mari to suck.
The rise and fall of Mari’s chest, of her tits, is so much heavier now. She’s staring at Shauna’s lap, at her hands, at her dick. “I have to undo your fly. I’d… I’d have to undo Danny’s fly. So. Let me undo yours.”
Shauna sucks her stomach in to hold her breath, trying not to tremble so much as Mari nudges her hands apart, her dick over one leg, so that Mari’s hands can fumble with the string of her board shorts. And then the fastening is coming undone, and Mari’s pushing the fabric apart so she can see Shauna’s boring plain panties that she’d wear on her period or to practice, and that she’s wearing to get her dick sucked for the first time. If Mari can see the wet spot at the crotch, or if she thinks it’s weird that Shauna didn’t shave her bikini line or trim or anything, she doesn’t say a word about it. She just breathes hotly and so close that Shauna can feel it in cute little puffs on her inner thighs and even through her panties.
“Relax, Shipman,” Mari says, and the little huff that accompanies it makes Shauna whine pathetically and squeeze her eyes shut as her hips and thighs lock up. “Breathe, like, um, like normal, okay? Jeez. I’m not gonna bite.” Even though her mouth is going to be right there where she could bite Shauna.
Shauna exhales, feeling her stomach expand back to normal again with her breath. She moves the dick—-her dick back over her crotch, over her panties. She still keeps it just above her swollen clit. It’s too weird not to.
“Are you gonna close your eyes the whole time? It’s not, like, some freaky roller coaster. It’s rude not to watch me.” Mari’s hand trails down from Shauna’s sternum to her stomach, almost petting over her belly, so feather light and tender that Shauna doesn’t even feel embarrassed by it.
Does Jackie do this to Jeff when she blows him?
It’s not bright when Shauna opens her eyes to see Mari’s face, half reflecting the blue of the water over her skin, in her stupid sparkly eyes that are wide and innocent staring up at Shauna like she’s not about to give Shauna a blowjob. Shauna’s breath comes out ragged even without Mari having really touched her. She licks her own lips stupidly. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself.” Mari leans up to place a kiss on Shauna’s belly. The sound of it makes Shauna flinch back, but Mari just places another, a fraction lower. And then again, trailing down the pudge of Shauna’s belly with sweet little kisses until she reaches Shauna’s pelvis. She plants a kiss on each of Shauna’s hips, over her panties, and Shauna’s toes curl under the water.
Shauna can’t help but squeeze her eyes shut again. She can’t watch Mari drive her fucking insane like this. She’s half sure that if she watches, it’ll disappear like a mirage. She’s nowhere near a desert, but the fear lingers in her belly.
Mari’s fingernails, an oval shaped manicure, scrape along the length of Shauna’s clothed thigh. Without warning, she bites them into Shauna’s upper thigh. “You said you’d look.”
“I didn’t say that,” Shauna says without thinking.
The sting of Mari’s nails, dulled by Shauna’s board shorts, sharpens suddenly. Mari lets out a bratty little humph noise. “It was implied. I’m about to suck your dick, Shauna.”
Reluctantly, Shauna opens her eyes.
Mari swallows audibly. “You… you have to tell me if I’m doing a good job. I don’t wanna be bad at it.” She looks up at Shauna again, and her eyes get even bigger. Her pigtails look more like floppy puppy ears than ever like this.
Jesus. “Okay, Mar. I’ll watch.” Shauna feels breathless saying it.
And then Mari’s hand is stroking Shauna’s dick, her eyes still locked on Shauna’s as she pumps up and down slowly, finding a rhythm to it.
Despite herself, Shauna’s mouth falls open silently.
Mari’s hand comes down a bit more forcefully this time, pushing the dick up against Shauna’s panties, against her clit.
Shauna can’t help but groan, loud and long, as Mari keeps stroking her dick with her wet, warm hand. It’s like a fucking phantom limb. Her hips are up, lifted and not even fucking Mari’s fist, just pathetically raising to give Mari more access.
Mari’s head is lowering, her eyes still aimed at Shauna’s as she parts her lips and her tongue pokes out to flick at the head of Shauna’s dick.
“Holy shit,” Shauna gasps, her hips trying to jerk up more.
Mari smiles slightly, nervously as her hand stills just above the root of Shauna’s dick, slightly overlapping her hands to keep it and her hips down a bit as Mari licks around the head more fully this time. She wets the entire head, and then she lowers her head and her gaze to kiss the side of the shaft.
All Shauna can see is the top of her head as she presses loud, wet kisses to Shauna’s dick like the ones she pressed to Shauna’s belly, to her hips. Holy shit. Mari Ibarra is kissing Shauna’s dick. No one would ever believe either of them if they told. Will Shauna’s journal even believe her? Jackie wouldn’t. Jackie will never know that Mari’s tongue is dragging up from the middle of Shauna’s dick to the head—better than any head Jackie’s ever given Jeff. Shauna feels sure of that as her hands grip the base of her dick to hold it in place like her life depends on it.
Mari’s mouth opens fully, and she takes the head inside, moaning as she does.
Shauna hisses. She knows what the inside of Mari’s mouth feels like, wet and warm and welcoming. And now her dick is sliding into that wetness as Mari sinks down, taking more than half of it before she bobs her head back up. Shauna watches Mari’s cheeks hollow out as she goes down to take more of Shauna’s dick into her mouth. It pushes the base of her dick into her clit harder, making Shauna’s hips jerk up and driving her cock into Mari’s throat.
Mari gags around it, drool pooling at the corner of her mouth. Her eyes turns watery as she looks up at Shauna all panicked and cute. Is Shauna a bad person for thinking Mari looks cute like this, with fear and tears in her Bambi eyes as she tries not to choke on Shauna’s dick because Shauna can’t help but buck up into her mouth instead of letting her back off?
“Fuck, sorry, you just—you feel so good, Mar,” Shauna says in a gasp. She’s trying so hard to force her hips to be still, to not fuck Mari’s throat like this when Mari doesn’t quite know how to do this yet
Mari pulls back, her lips leaving Shauna’s dick with a wet sound. She gasps for air, clutching at her throat and staring wildly at Shauna. Her eyes are still all teary and pretty. “Just… just give me a second, okay?” Her own drool drips down her chin.
Shauna’s arm twitches, and then she’s wiping Mari’s chin clean.
Mari’s eyes are still shining with unshed tears. Shauna tries not to want to see them slip down her flushed cheeks.
“If you fuck my throat, I’ll hit you,” Mari says.
Shauna nods breathlessly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
Mari’s pretty hand wraps around Shauna’s own at the base of her dick as she guides the head back into her mouth and starts bobbing up and down. The strokes are uneven at first, but the bobbing of Mari’s head, and the way it makes her cute pigtails bounce against her shoulders evens out soon enough. She’s moaning again, loud and throaty.
The vibrations shoot through Shauna’s dick, down to her clit, and Shauna’s moaning too, open-mouthed and bleary-eyed as she can’t help but buck her hips up again, just once before she jerks them back down because the feeling of the base grinding down against her clit when the head of her cock hits the back of Mari’s throat is too much. Her whole body is on fire as her empty pussy convulses stupidly in her board shorts. Her panties are getting even wetter from Mari sucking her dick, and this would be embarrassing if it didn’t feel so goddamn good.
Mari gags again at the same time that Shauna yelps, a tear slipping down her pretty, red-tinged cheeks as they come puffing back out to their normal fullness, and then another. She’s so fucking pretty like that, looking up pathetically at Shauna as she blinks rapidly, her eyelashes fluttering in a useless attempt not to cry. Her cheeks are glistening with tear streaks, and her eyes are turning red as more slip down freely.
“Mari.” Shauna can’t help but gasp Mari’s name, raspy and needy and trying to be apologetic when she just can’t make herself feel sorry for liking how pretty Mari is when she cries. Fuck, does she wish Mari cried more often? What kind of person wants to see her friend cry?
But could anyone not want to see Mari like this, with glistening cheeks and perfect tears slipping down them as her big, wide eyes look up desperately while she just keeps bobbing her head.
“You’re so pretty, holy shit,” Shauna says.
The base is grinding down against Shauna’s throbbing clit again, harder this time as Mari bobs her head more forcefully. Shauna can feel her pulse down there, in that swollen little nub as Mari’s rhythm picks up, her eyes still blinking through her tears.
Shauna’s breath is quickening too when one hand, the one opposite Mari’s, lets go of the base of her dick to shakily pet through one of Mari’s cute little pigtails. She slides her fingers through Mari’s hair, feeling how silken smooth it is, almost as pretty as Mari with Shauna’s dick between her lips, buried in her sweet mouth, and keeping her quiet for once in her life—except for all the moaning. Is Mari faking that? Does it actually feel that good for her? It can’t taste that good. It’s silicone filling her up. It doesn’t even taste like skin. Like Shauna.
Yanking Mari’s pigtail isn’t a conscious decision, but she does it anyway. It’s a sharp, quick motion that interrupts the rhythm of Mari’s bobbing and takes her from halfway up the length of Shauna’s dick back down to the base, making her gag through her own little yelp.
There’s drool pooling down Mari’s chin, onto Shauna’s panties. Shauna thinks she can feel it slip down the front of them and over the crotch, mixing with her own wetness.
Mari is crying now, not just some tears trailing down her cheeks, but really crying. Her eyes are puffy as she looks up at Shauna, but she doesn’t stop or pull off of Shauna’s dick again. She exhales through her nose, and then she’s moving again, sucking Shauna’s dick fervently. Her eyes are big and shiny and upset, but she’s moaning even louder now. It sounds different. Less like when she moaned from the water earlier and more like those cute noises Mari tries to muffle when she’s stretching before practice or a match.
Like she means it now.
The thought makes Shauna’s pussy start to convulse again, harder this time and just as fucking pointless. There’s nothing inside her, and she shouldn’t come like this, into Mari’s mouth over nothing, over Mari sucking silicone.
But it’s not nothing. It’s heat pooled in Shauna’s gut, her pussy clenching so hard she can feel her asshole twitching. All because Mari is looking straight up at Shauna and moaning around her dick, bobbing her head with tears in her eyes as she pushes the base of it down into Shauna’s clit like she wants Shauna to come in her mouth.
Shauna’s eyes squeeze closed so tight she sees red bursts like stars as her wrist jerks down with a fistful of Mari’s hair again and her hips buck up to push herself deeper into Mari’s mouth and grind her clit harder as she comes, gushing into her panties and her board shorts. Her mouth falls open silently for just a moment, and then her voice is cracking around a gasp, “God, Mari.”
Mari gags as she tears her mouth away from Shauna’s dick, her hand releasing the base of it and Shauna’s own hand at once. Her belly chain jingles oddly under the water and then not as she stands up quickly. She’s spluttering loudly with one hand rubbing at her chest, just below her throat, and then she’s leaning over to spit over the edge of the hot tub.
Shauna is so boneless she almost falls out of the tub completely before slumping forward onto her thighs. She pants with blurry eyes as she tries to find the words to ask if Mari is okay.
Mari smacks Shauna’s arm, but the sting only half registers. “You can’t just come down my throat, Shauna, oh, my God! You’re such a boy! You have to warn me first!”
Shauna’s whole face burns. “I didn’t mean to… I didn’t—” Because it’s not a real dick, and she can’t actually come down Mari’s throat like a boy could, and it’s embarrassing that she can’t, and embarrassing that Mari would say she could—that she did.
Mari’s belly chain is dripping a trail down her wet stomach, trailing water down her waist and hips until it meets her bikini bottoms or disappears under them. There are wet beads clinging to her bottom lashes, ready to drop down her flushed cheeks with the rest of her tears even now she’s done gagging and tearing up on Shauna’s dick.
Despite herself, Shauna’s clit throbs again. Her panties feel sticky between her thighs as she shifts on the edge of the tub.
Mari takes a step back in the water, which doesn’t hit her hips now that she’s standing at her full height.
Shauna hated it when Mari’s last ditch growth spurt shot her up over most of the rest of the girls in their grade. Now, it makes her stomach coil, tight and electric. Mari is taller than Shauna, even when Shauna plays the boy.
The belly chain jingles as Mari shifts in the water, sloshing it around the hot tub.
Shauna’s eyes drop down to Mari’s waist again and catch the way her thighs are pressing together, rubbing close and making them jiggle slightly. It’s cute. It’s really cute, and it’s exactly what Shauna wanted to do when Mari was turning her on.
It’s like the floor drops out beneath them.
“You’re wet.” It’s the stupidest thing Shauna has ever said, or at least it’s in the top ten list of them. She blinks.
“We’re in a hot tub,” Mari says forcefully. She’s got gooseflesh all over, the soft hairs of her arms and torso, even dusted across her cute tits in her bikini top, standing like the hackles of a dog. Her thighs are trembling but not her arms. More than Shauna thinks they should be, like maybe she’s exaggerating how cold she is to pretend she’s not rubbing them up against each other.
Shauna squeezes her fingers into the base of the dildo. Her dick. It’s soaked with Mari’s spit from her gagging on it and sucking it. Her panties are soaked in her board shorts too. In Mari’s boyfriend’s board shorts. Does that make Shauna Mari’s boyfriend right now? It must. Mari would do anything her boyfriend asked her to. Shauna’s seen it, seen Mari acquiesce that it’s fine for Danny to push another beer into her hands when she’s retired from beer pong for the night or that she’ll go to a horror movie he wants to see like she’s not terrified of blood and guts. Jackie had to intervene when Danny wanted Mari to skip the second practice after try outs, and Mari almost fucking agreed to like she didn’t belong to the team before she belonged to Danny Mears—or whatever.
But Shauna isn’t Danny. Just because she might be Mari’s boyfriend right now, it doesn’t make her Danny. And she doesn’t want to be, because Danny is even worse than Jeff, and Shauna would be a better boyfriend than that. If she was a boy like Mari wants her to be right now.
What would Shauna want Mari to say right now, if Mari was the boy? If she knew Mari still wasn’t a boy.
“It’s okay if you’re wet.” Shauna is breathless, gripping her dick tighter to hide the way she’s trembling.
Mari shivers, full-bodied. Her arms drop, and Shauna can see the outline of her nipples straining against her bikini top. Even obscured, they look different than Shauna’s do in the mirror. Less puffy and higher on Mari’s chest, which makes sense since she’s got smaller, perkier tits than Shauna.
Shauna thinks she feels her clit twitch, or maybe it’s her dick. She wants to see Mari’s nipples, really look at them—and to get her hands on them. To see what else about them is different, if Mari likes them twisted or tugged, what they’d feel like under Shauna’s tongue, with her lips on the soft skin of Mari’s tits. To hear what sounds Mari makes.
Her noises were so muffled with her mouth of Shauna’s dick. It’s not fair.
“Can I… can I see you?”
Mari flinches.
Shauna’s mouth moves faster than her brain. “Danny’s gonna want to see you, Mar. And… we’re teammates.”
There’s an urge to sink into the water, lower where the cold can’t touch Shauna. Where maybe Mari will pretend that Shauna’s not being weird, and they’ll stop pretending that Shauna is the boy. But Shauna doesn’t.
They’re getting along. That’s what Jackie wanted. If they stop getting along, she’ll get mad, won’t she?
“What are you waiting for, Shipman? My boyfriend would want to untie my bikini,” Mari says.
It’s so fucking dizzying. “Can I?”
Mari rolls her eyes lightly. “You’re not supposed to ask.”
Shauna doesn’t think that’s right, but the sound of Mari saying it is lightning jolting through her. She makes her way through the water, not entirely sure she’s not floating as she stops in front of Mari, close enough to kiss her again. She stares at Mari’s lips as she reaches behind her neck, letting Mari take hold of her dick again. Her hands brush Mari’s cute pigtails aside to find the yellow strings that tie that goddamn bikini top together. The pretty mauve colored lipstick Mari’s got on is smeared around her lips, and probably across Shauna’s too. Mari’s mouth makes a cute O shape as she gasps when her bikini top drops down over her breasts. When Shauna takes it off of her. Jesus fucking Christ.
Shauna takes a step back to see the curves of Mari’s tits in full. Her nipples are even a different color than Shauna’s—a deep brown, stark against her flushed chest. They’re darkest around the edges, and at their peaks, they lighten up to a shade Shauna’s seen Mari wear nude lipsticks in during the fall. There’s something about the knowledge that Mari wears lipsticks that match her cute nipples that’s making Shauna’s brain go blank.
Mari is shivering so much that her tits are jiggling a little, just a bit. The sight is so fucking pretty. There’s this cute little mole on the left one like the one by the corner of her mouth that Shauna’s never seen before, that Shauna never wants to not see again.
Really, Shauna can’t help but grope them both, taking a handful of Mari’s breasts to squeeze them slow and firm.
“Oh, fuck. They’re really—” Mari’s voice breaks off into a breathy little whine.
Shauna thinks she might be obsessed with the rough, spongy feel of Mari’s nipples pressing into her palms as she kneads. She’s definitely obsessed with how much of Mari’s tits she’s got her hands on. They’re almost a perfect fit. There’s a little bit of them that stretch out past what Shauna’s fingers can rub without her pushing Mari’s tits up more. She licks that stretch of skin as she tucks her thumb in, flicks it over Mari’s nipple and elicits a gasp that makes her dizzy. She has her mouth on Mari Ibarra’s tits, tracing her tongue over the pebbled skin of her nipples like if she laps at them enough, maybe they’ll leak.
Should that be hot? The thought of Mari, pregnant with swollen, leaky boobs covered by Shauna’s mouth—because she’d have to be pregnant for them to leak, right? Or to have given birth. Maybe even to Shauna’s baby, if that was something Shauna could put in Mari, if she really was Mari’s boyfriend.
The base of her dick is being pressed into Shauna’s clit again as Mari whimpers pathetically under Shauna’s ministrations. It feels too good. Shauna tries to swallow a whine as she licks up the curve of Mari’s breast then nips at the skin. Is she allowed to leave marks? Mari didn’t say she couldn’t, but won’t Danny notice if Mari has hickeys from someone else?
But Mari would have marks from Shauna on her breasts. The thought of pretty dark splotches on Mari’s breasts makes Shauna’s toes curl in the water. She can’t help it. She presses her mouth back down and sucks at Mari’s breast, right by the cute little mole.
“Are you marking your territory? God, you’re such a boy,” Mari says, but she can’t make it sound mean. Not how she normally would. Her voice has gone all squeaky and whiny and cute. Like she likes when Shauna marks her territory.
Shauna releases the skin then licks it, her tongue flat and firm over the proof that she had her mouth on Mari’s tits. She glances up at Mari’s face to see how flushed she is, how teary her eyes still look. There are cute little beads of tears sitting on her dark lashes. Shauna did that to Mari the same way she left a hickey on Mari’s tits—the same way Mari made Shauna come in her pretty mouth like it would shut her up for once.
“Why’d you stop?” Mari whines it, gripping Shauna’s dick tighter and wiggling her hips.
Shauna’s mouth feels suddenly very dry. She swallows. Her eyes dart down over Mari’s chest, over her stiff nipples and the hickey Shauna put there, over her belly and the chain around it. They stop darting when she gets to Mari’s hips and thighs, and the yellow bikini bottoms covering what’s between them.
Her ankle twitches. She’s probably pruning up under the water, but nothing sounds less appealing than leaving this hot tub right now.
Mari said her boyfriend wouldn’t ask.
Shauna’s hands trail down Mari’s sides, light and barely there. She doesn’t want to scare Mari off. She can’t. Not before she gets to touch. Really touch. “I’m gonna… I’m gonna make you feel good too, Mar.” Her fingers ghost across the fabric of Mari’s bikini bottoms. If she presses harder, she’ll be pressing Mari. Not her… not Mari’s pussy, that’s lower down, but still against Mari. Right around where she wants to touch Mari. Where a boyfriend would get to.
Danny hasn’t. Mari hasn’t blown him either.
“But I’m a virgin!” Mari is breathless. Her pupils are blown wide, making her pretty brown eyes look even darker.
“I won’t go inside… I just wanna make you—make you come.” Shauna feels like an idiot saying it. Her face is burning, and she’s only ever done this to herself. In the dark mostly, and in her bed with one hand covering her mouth or between her teeth to keep herself quiet.
There’s a splash into the water as Mari’s hands move away from Shauna’s dick and to her face to hide.
But it’s not like girls don’t want to come. Shauna should know. And they’ve giggled about it as a team before, at sleepovers when they were ribbing each other and in the locker room when one of the younger girls on the team asks if it’s weird or if their boyfriends should finger them or if getting eaten out is real. Mari volunteered once that she likes to hump this stuffed animal her eighth grade boyfriend gave her for Valentine’s Day, then she shut up after Van teased her for it, asking if Jason Nutting really got her going.
Shauna never even got to find out if Mari comes from that. She knows some of the girls on the team haven’t gotten off yet—or hadn’t when Nat blew up about how unfair it was that Laura Lee had to ask if the female orgasm was actually real in an embarrassed little squeak, that it wasn’t just a fact of life that women get off too.
“You won’t take my virginity?” Mari is peering at Shauna through her fingers. She looks so cute like that.
Shauna nods, slow and stupid. “I won’t break your hymen…” Somewhere, very far away, Nat’s voice rings in Shauna’s ears telling her that she’s making an assumption, and your hymen can tear lots of ways.
Mari’s eyes close, and her hands stay firm over her face. She nods.
Shauna’s hand is strangely steady as she presses her fingers flush against Mari, through her bikini bottoms, and drags them down to palm Mari’s pussy. She gasps at how wet they are, the sloppy, slick feeling of that goddamn fabric. Logically, she knows Mari was kneeling in the water earlier, but that was for her too. Mari was on her knees, soaking her bikini to suck Shauna off.
“Oh, fuck.” Mari lets a broken little moan out, shivering all over as Shauna flexes her fingers experimentally against her pussy. “I can’t—God, can I turn around?”
“So I can’t see?” Shauna gropes Mari’s pussy possessively. Mari’s slick thighs clamp together, binding Shauna’s hand in place.
She’s trapping Shauna’s hand against her pussy. Even if Shauna wanted to for some stupid reason, she couldn’t pull away. That’s why Shauna can feel the proof that Mari is wet because she’s turned on, not just because they’re in a hot tub, all over her wrist and her palm and the back of it too.
“You can’t see anyway,” Mari says. She’s trembling, squeezing her thighs tighter together.
Shauna pushes her middle finger firmer against Mari’s pussy, dragging it along the seam and pulling it forward, from the perineum to a stiff little nub that must be Mari’s clit. Shauna zeroes in on it and the high-pitched whine in Mari’s throat. She circles it, too wide to get all of it, then adjusts to circle it tighter, relishing in the way Mari’s hands flex against her mouth as she tries to shut herself up.
“You’re such a—a…” Shauna’s brain flounders, searching for what she wants to call Mari, for what Mari is. It hits her like a truck. “You’re such a brat, Mar. I wanna hear you. And see you. I’m your boyfriend.” She rolls her finger over Mari’s clit fully and presses as she says it, driving it home.
“Fuck! Oh, my God! I’m sorry, I’m—just… Shipman. Be nice.” Mari’s chest is heaving, the purple mark on her tit fluttering with the motion.
There’s an apology on Shauna’s lips, but Mari’s slicking up more through her bikini, and Shauna doesn’t think she needs to apologize after all. “I’m being nice. You need to be nice. Open your legs, and let me see.”
Mari whines, her eyes squeezing shut. But she opens her legs up for Shauna. Her hands don’t drop from her face.
“Mari, come on,” Shauna says. She sounds petulant, not confident and hot like she wants to, and she knows that. It’s embarrassing.
There’s another whine. “I can’t. It’s too embarrassing.”
Shauna rubs back down Mari’s pussy lips. She can feel how swollen they are even through the fabric that she really, really resents for how it won’t let her touch Mari properly, skin to skin. “You weren’t embarrassed when you were between my legs earlier.” She would feel stupid saying it if she couldn’t hear Mari’s breathing getting harder and heavier and her whimpers breaking through the barrier of her palm.
Mari’s pigtails shake with her head, even as her hips roll into Shauna’s palm.
“Your bikini is in the way,” Shauna says dazedly. It spills out before she can think twice.
“Take it off.”
Shauna goes still, except for her mouth which twitches almost violently. Did she hear that right? Is Mari asking Shauna to take her bikini bottoms off? “But then you’ll be naked.”
Mari doesn’t even laugh. “Thank you, Captain Obvious. Now take it off before I change my mind.” She says it too fast, stumbled and slurred.
Shauna blinks. She curls her fingers to check that she can still feel them. That she can still feel what they’re touching. “Your hands are in the way too.”
Finally, Mari rips them away from her face. They go down to her hips, and she pushes her bikini down by its strings, forcing it down to her knees before she stops, her breasts jiggling as she catches her breath. Shauna’s never seen her this worked up over anything other than a bad call or a particularly nasty rumor about someone on the team, usually Natalie.
Shauna’s gaze drops down to Mari’s bare pussy. It’s wet, even beneath her bikini. Wet and basically hairless, except for this strip of short, dark hair above it. The hair there isn’t quite long enough to be curly, but it’s got this cute little wave to it. And beneath it is Mari’s pussy, the lips swollen and dusky in color and shiny with how wet she is.
The slick is glistening between her thighs too. The proof she likes Shauna touching her that Shauna felt on her hand earlier is smeared all over her skin.
Something in Shauna’s stomach dips, and the urge to bury her face in there flashes through her. But that’s too much. Right? Mari would think Shauna was weird if she wanted to eat her out, to lick all across Mari’s pretty pussy that she must shave or wax or something—for her boyfriend? It must be. Even though they aren’t having sex yet, Mari wants to.
Girls want it too. Shauna knows that from the needy way she feels when she drives over bumpy stretches of road or really needs to pee or thinks about nice it must be to get to be a girl like Jackie—or Mari.
“Who do you keep it this pretty for?” Shauna says, breathless and involuntary. She should take it back before Mari calls her weird. Nobody thinks pussies are pretty. Shauna’s heard boys laughing about how weird it is that something that looks like deli meat feels so good. She opens her mouth soundlessly, her hands twitching as the stupid fucking dildo floats past her in the water.
But then Mari is whining, rolling her hips. “You. Oh, my God, I—I shave for you. I shave for my boyfriend, Shipman.”
That’s Shauna’s last straw. She doesn’t really choose to palm Mari’s bare pussy. She just does, feeling the slick mess coating its lips smearing over her palm as she gropes. It’s so much better like this, without the barrier of her stupid fucking bikini in the way. Shauna’s touched pussy before. She’s reached under the covers between her own legs to rub her clit and felt how warm and wet and welcoming her own pussy is to intrusion of her fingers. She knows how slick and swollen and smooth it feels to be inside a girl.
She still can’t help but wonder if Mari will feel different inside. Her nipples are different than Shauna’s. Her pussy lips don’t look like Shauna’s either. They’re dusky and darker than Shauna’s, and crinkly and cute in their asymmetry, kind of like flower petals—as stupid as Shauna thinks the word “deflowering” is, it flashes through her mind as she rubs between Mari’s swollen folds. She can feel Mari’s slick collecting on her fingertips, the heat of it all making her forget whatever reluctances she had before. What kind of idiot wouldn’t want to be where Shauna is, with her hand between Mari Ibarra’s legs, drawing all these cute little whimpers and whines out of her as she bucks into Shauna’s hand?
Danny Mears is probably the world’s biggest loser for not being the one with his hand on Mari’s pussy.
Shauna’s thumb circles Mari’s stiff little clit, skin to skin this time, and Mari squeals, her hips jumping away from Shauna’s palm. Shauna’s not sure if it’s her or Mari who whine about the loss of contact. She’s not sure it matters either. All that matters is getting her hand back on Mari’s pussy to trace its entrance with her fingertips. She grabs Mari’s hip with her other hand to anchor her in place.
“Fuck, sorry, that’s just—God—a lot,” Mari says, panting as she squirms.
“Sorry. Just stay still, okay?” Shauna rubs Mari’s hip as she asks, gentle and encouraging.
Mari’s breath hitches into a hiccup. She nods firmly, her eyes shiny and wide. Her mouth flutters as Shauna’s rubs a finger along the seam of Mari’s pussy. She lets out a small sob, then clamps her mouth closed and shudders. There are goose bumps all along her body. “I’ll be good.”
It’s like getting hit by an 18 wheeler going 90. Shauna blinks wildly, her whole body going totally still. She needs a moment to regain feeling in her body, to remember that the stiffness of her nipples is from the chill outside and the wet warmth against her hand is Mari’s pussy and Mari sucked her dick maybe an hour ago. It’s hard to tell how much time has passed, if any. Enough that Shauna’s barely drunk anymore, and she’s not sure if Mari still is, but it doesn’t really matter anymore, does it?
Shauna is Mari’s boyfriend right now. For as long as they’re in this hot tub, she’s pretty sure.
Her fingers twitch, and Mari whines again. “How good, Mar?”
“What?” Mari sounds as confused as Shauna feels.
What does she mean? “I… How good will you be for me?” It’s not an unreasonable question. Mari said she’d be good. Shauna just wants to know the rules.
“Um… I’ll do whatever you want…” Mari bites her lip. And then it spills out of her, “We can play just the tip.”
Shauna presses her index finger into the entrance of Mari’s pussy, just slightly. It’s wet and warm and… it’s not quite smooth. Not like Shauna’s is. It’s almost ribbed against Shauna’s twitching finger. Shauna is itching to press deeper, to probe into Mari’s pussy as deep as she can, to stretch Mari as much as she can. Maybe even more. The thought of feeling these silky ribbed walls just kissing Shauna’s wrist makes her stomach drop. Wildly, a memory flashes through Shauna’s mind: she’s in the front row of a rollercoaster, with Mari in-between her and Jackie because of some dumb argument (about how Jackie thought Shauna should have gotten that stupid snow globe at the gift shop because she couldn’t conceive of the shadow of stretching your wallet thin if she tried, couldn’t put herself in Shauna’s shoes because it would mean letting Shauna in hers), and they’re creeping up to the top of a rollercoaster, when Mari always digs her fingers into someone’s wrists so hard that no one ever wants to sit next to her on one, but Mari lets go of Jackie to grab Shauna at the last minute, and the sting of it is bigger than the fear.
She doesn’t mean to press deeper, inching in. She can feel where Mari gets too tight, where she meets resistance. It’s not entirely unlike when Shauna tries to push her fingers inside herself a little too early, but Mari squeezes Shauna’s finger like a heartbeat, stuttering out.
Mari squeals. “Oh, my God, Shauna, I said just the tip!”
“Just the tip of what? It’s not even my dick,” Shauna says, breathless. “You know that, sweetie. You’re not as dumb as people say.”
There’s a glimpse of pink across Mari’s face before she’s covering her face again. “You’re being a bitch.”
Shauna curls her finger. She prods a second digit at the entrance. Shauna likes two fingers for herself, but now that it’s someone else, she wonders how many Mari can take. “You said you’d be good for me.” She’s rubbing at Mari’s walls, still not pressing the second finger in just yet. She wants Mari to want that too, in a way Mari’s clearly never wanted her actual boyfriend if she’s still a total virgin. “You feel… you feel crazy good. But you’re acting like a brat, Mar.”
Mari rocks her hips gently, letting Shauna press in a little more. “… If you do it from behind, you can get deeper.”
The noise that comes out of Shauna is entirely involuntary and mortifyingly strangled. “I can… I can take your virginity?” Asking will probably make Mari change her mind, but how can Shauna not ask? Her ears must be playing tricks on her. There’s no way Mari just said Shauna could go deeper.
“We’ve… we’ve been dating a while. My boyfriend should get to… shut up! Pull out so I can turn around.” Mari sounds as embarrassed as Shauna feels. This is really happening.
Shauna begrudgingly pulls out of Mari’s entrance, letting Mari shuffle in the water and brace her arms against the edge of the tub to… to fucking present her pussy to Shauna—or something else vulgar and obscene and hot. It looks different from this angle. Shauna is going to get to see her fingers stretching Mari out in a way she’s never been stretched out before.
She steps closer, cozying up to Mari so that she can rest her boobs against Mari’s back to press an embarrassingly soft kiss between Mari’s shoulder blades.
Mari whines cutely, her hips squirming back desperately.
“You really want my attention, don’t you?” Shauna says. It’s silly, in a strange way. She used to pull Mari’s pigtails, and now Mari is whining and squirming openly and pathetically for Shauna to fuck her.
“Please,” Mari says. Fuck, when was the last time Shauna heard Mari beg? Has she ever heard that? “Please… I wanna… can you just…”
There’s electricity through her spine, down to her fingertips that she’s going to bury in Mari, all the way inside her, stretching her out for the first time. She can’t stomach making Mari say it. They’ve waited long enough.
Shauna straightens up to slip her hand between Mari’s thighs, stroking the entrance of her pussy with two fingers. She should use one at first. Go slow and get Mari ready for her. But a boyfriend wouldn’t do that sort of thing. He’d line the head of his dick up with Mari’s pussy and sink into her to take her virginity. A dick is thicker than a finger. Two is probably more accurate.
She notches two digits in the entrance of Mari’s pussy, and they twitch involuntarily.
Mari gasps. Her hips jerk away, and then she braces herself, stretches back to take Shauna a little deeper. There’s still resistance, like her body’s not on the same page as her mind.
Shauna doesn’t want to hurt her. She’s seen Mari cry, back when they were kids at least, all snotty and puffy-eyed over her sprained ankle or her blooming black eye. She saw Mari cry when Mari was blowing her. She shouldn’t want to make Mari cry. Especially not now, when she’s Mari’s boyfriend, at least for a while. Not when she doesn’t want to hurt Mari.
Shauna rubs the walls of Mari’s entrance like a lucky rabbit foot. “It’s okay, Mari. I’ve got you. Just relax for me.”
Mari makes a whiny noise in the back of her throat. She looks back at Shauna with sparkly tears in her pretty brown eyes, and she flutters her eyelashes wetly. “I’m relaxed.” She’s all pouty saying it. So cute that Shauna’s jaw twitches. She wants to bite Mari.
That would be too weird, right?
She presses in a little more. She can’t believe how the harder she pushes, the more it feels like Mari’s pussy is trying to suck her in despite the stretch of it, to envelope Shauna fully. Mari’s body wants this as badly as Shauna does. Twenty-four hours ago, this never could have happened.
Mari hiccups. “It’s—it’s big.”
The thing is, Shauna doesn’t even have big fingers or hands. Mari’s really never had anything inside of her. It’s dizzying. She pushes in deeper, stretching Mari out as her knuckles disappear inside, making Mari squeal. She’s so wet and warm inside, the fucking ribbing of her walls extending inward, long past the entrance. Shauna can’t believe it. Her fingers are disappearing completely inside of Mari. How is she going to look at Mari at school or in the locker room or at practice or during games without thinking about how she’s been inside of Mari, how Mari’s pussy took her so nice, even though it was her first time and she was so tight?
“You feel so good, baby,” Shauna says, stupid and breathless. She doesn’t know what else she can say. She’s bottomed out inside of Mari, and the rest of the world is vanishing every time she feels Mari squeeze her. She takes her other hand mindlessly to pet one of Mari’s pigtails. She doesn’t know why. She curls her fingers once, then twice, and she can’t stop marveling. Holy shit. This is better than getting an assist or even scoring herself. This is better than anything Shauna’s ever done or felt before. God, that spongy, firm thing she’s got her finger tips on is amazing. Every part of Mari’s pussy is fucking amazing.
“Oh, my God—right there! Holy shit! Please!” Mari says, clenching down on Shauna and grinding her hips back.
It’s like someone turned off all the oxygen. Shauna presses her fingers firmer against that spot. It must be Mari’s g-spot that’s making her flutter around Shauna. Shauna’s curling her fingers against Mari’s g-spot, making her moan and tremble and try to fuck herself on Shauna’s fingers.
Why the hell isn’t Shauna moving inside Mari? That’s what she’s supposed to be doing, fucking Mari like her boyfriend.
Shauna draws back, feeling Mari slick up even more and squeeze desperately as she tries to keep Shauna inside. “Don’t be stupid, Mar. You’ve gotta let me go so I can fuck you.” She grabs Mari’s hip again, trying to keep steady.
Mari lets out a little sob at that, but then Shauna’s thrusting back inside, as hard and deep as she can, and Mari’s really crying now. She’s babbling, incoherent and desperate as her body rocks with Shauna’s strokes. Every time Shauna curls her fingers to find that sweet spot, Mari gets louder. Her pussy sounds sloppy and slick as Shauna glides through it. It’s obscene. It’s the kind of thing Shauna’s only heard when she’s been unlucky enough to have a couple at a party think they’re sneakier than they are, or be too drunk to care that she’s still there on the couch with them.
But now it’s Mari’s pussy making those noises because Shauna is finger-fucking her from behind in her hot tub. Shauna is responsible for that, for the way Mari squeezes her tight and whines and braces herself and flutters around her. God, and that fucking belly chain is jingling with the force of Shauna fucking Mari. This must be some sort of dream—except, it can’t be a dream because Shauna wouldn’t dream about this.
But she can feel her own breath speeding up right alongside Mari’s. She can see everything. Feel everything, even the throbbing of Mari’s g-spot against her fingers no matter how hard she fucks Mari.
Can she fuck that feeling out of Mari? She wants to. She really, really wants to fuck Mari boneless, to make her pulse speed up like Nascar and then go slow and steady because she’s so tired, so well fucked that all she can do is lie there and smile hazily.
“H—harder,” Mari says in a hiccup. She’s got her cheek pressed up against her forearm as she looks back at Shauna, blushing and crying like she can’t believe she’s asking Shauna to do that, even though Shauna’s already fucking her.
Mari squeezes her fingers, and Shauna squeezes Mari’s hip, trying to match the tightness of the squeeze without really meaning to try. It’s instinct.
“That’s how you’re squeezing me, honey. Did—did you know that?” It doesn’t come out confident at all. Shauna is panting and dizzy as she says it, but she still says it. She needs an answer.
Mari is too busy squealing to give her one.
“Did you know?” Shauna says, trying to make her voice firmer this time.
“I—I’m sorry.” Mari’s closing her eyes, tear tracks still shiny on her face. Fuck, she squeezes in a little stuttering rhythm.
Shauna’s hand flexes and splays out more fully against Mari’s hip. She has to make herself focus to squeeze back this time. “Don’t be sorry, Mar. Just… just answer.” She scissors her fingers to punctuate her—is it a command? It must be.
Mari moans, open and loud. It’s maybe the filthiest sound Shauna’s ever heard. “I didn’t know! Fuck, I didn’t know!” Her pussy is fluttering now, too fast and uneven for Shauna to mimic it against Mari’s hip.
She doesn’t bother trying. She just keeps pounding into Mari, trying to curl her fingers on every other thrust. It’s hard to keep a rhythm now.
Mari’s getting louder and wetter. She must be close. That must be what this is.
Shauna’s never felt so laser focused in her life. She needs to make Mari come. The only thing in the world that matters is getting Mari off. She slips her hand around Mari’s hip, forward to her pelvis, and clumsily slides it down. It takes a minute to find Mari’s clit again, swollen and firm, and it’s hard to keep fucking Mari through that. But then she’s rubbing Mari’s clit as best she can, and Mari’s swearing up a storm and squirming like she wants to pull away.
Shauna doesn’t let her pull away. Not even when Mari gushes, wet and hot all over Shauna’s hands.
Distantly, Shauna thinks it’s a good thing that they’re in a hot tub. Or maybe it’s not because Mari has to clean… it’s not pee, is it? It’s probably squirt, like when Shauna comes all messy and wet. That shouldn’t be disappointing. Fuck, Mari is gushing so much more than Shauna does when this happens.
Shauna slows her thrusts until Mari’s sobs become hiccups, her pulsing squeezes ebbing out to a dull throb. And then the only sound is them catching their breath—and someone’s cat meowing.
Suddenly, Shauna is distinctly aware of how pruny her fingers have gotten, and of how dry her mouth feels. Her pussy is throbbing again, but it feels far away.
Should she pull out of Mari now? Her fingers twitch at the idea. Mari’s pussy is so warm and slick and nice, and the second Shauna pulls out, she’ll never be allowed back in. Mari never said it, but Shauna still knows it. Those are the rules. Or they have to be, because there have to be rules for whatever this was.
Mari glances back, her expression sheepish. Her mouth twitches open, and Shauna can’t help but stare. Her lips are still kiss-swollen, her lipstick smeared over her mouth and onto that cute little mole by it. She’s so pretty like this, fresh after a fuck.
Shauna’s the only person in the world who knows that. Maybe it doesn’t totally count, because hand stuff is second base apparently, but Shauna was inside of Mari, so that counts for something. No one else can say that.
“… Good thing you wore a condom, huh?” Mari says, blushing harder now. She’s smiling, and Shauna can tell that she’s trying really hard not to make it that shit-eating smile she likes. She’s trying to look coy and hot instead, but for some reason, how obvious it is that she’s trying makes her look even hotter.
Shauna’s whole face goes as warm as her fingers inside of Mari. “Shut up, Mar.”
Mari shrugs. “You make a good practice boyfriend.”
One of them laughs first, but Shauna’s not sure if it’s her or Mari. She just knows that then they’re both laughing, and somehow it’s still okay. It was just practice. They didn’t steer into dangerous waters after all.
The morning after is worse. Not just because Shauna’s got a dull headache. It really was the hot tub and the alcohol acting as some weird veil over them, making it okay. Now that Shauna’s had time to sit with it and not sleep because of how heavy it feels in her chest, she doesn’t know why the fuck she did that. Why Mari let her. Asked her, really.
She considers an Irish goodbye, but Jackie’s voice in the back of her head scolds her for that. But Jackie’s voice in the back of her head doesn’t know why Shauna wants to bail without a word. She’d never understand. Shauna can never tell her. It’s definitely not what Jackie meant by sentencing them to make nice at a sleepover. It wouldn’t even have crossed Jackie’s mind.
Not as far as Shauna took it.
She needs to get the hell out of Mari’s house. She sits up in her sleeping bag and looks over at Mari, who’s on her belly either sleeping or going for the Oscar for pretending to sleep, on her bed. This isn’t how they do things at team sleepovers. They all sleep in sleeping bags in the living room or den of the host’s house for those, finding corners and claiming people to sleep next to. This is kind of how Mari does things at non-team sleepovers, from what Shauna remembers of the handful of sleepovers that lined the end of elementary school and the beginning of junior high, when Mari had sleepovers like that. Mari got her bed for those, but she invited Jackie to share it, and inviting Jackie meant inviting Shauna, even if Mari didn’t want that.
Mari never said she didn’t want Shauna in there too, but she never invited Shauna herself.
Now, it’s just them but Shauna’s on the floor. Shauna brought her sleeping bag, sure, but would Mari have let her share the bed if they hadn’t done… that?
“Mari?” Shauna’s voice sounds hoarser than she thought it would. Louder too.
Mari goes dead still in her bed. Her hangovers aren’t usually too bad, but she must feel rough after last night. “Yeah?”
“I, uh, I’m gonna head out. I’m supposed to, um, go visit my nana. We’re having lunch with her. So I should….” Shauna’s nana died five years ago, a fact Mari might remember since Jackie made everyone sign a card for Shauna and her mom after it happened.
“Yeah, that’s fine.” Or maybe not, since Mari’s brain seems to primarily retain gossip, both local and celebrity, and her admittedly solid physics flashcards.
Shauna packs her stuff as fast as she can, avoiding eye contact the whole time, not that Mari tries very hard to make it from her bed. She’s out the door and in her car in a matter of minutes, refusing to check her rear-view mirror until she’s five blocks away.
It’s fine. Mari’s not going to tell anyone, and neither is Shauna, so Jackie will never know. It’s not like there’s proof, unless you count the lack of blood when Mari does lose her virginity for real. And that can be explained away if Mari thinks on her feet, which soccer and a long list of rumors Shauna’s pretty sure Mari started have proven she can do when she really needs or wants to.
Shauna makes it all the way to Thursday before the other shoe drops in the form of Jackie running up to her in the hallways to grab her arm in a vice grip and tug her into the nearest empty stairwell. Jackie is rarely ever this aggressive off the pitch, so Shauna knows she’s fucked once she feels the sharp sting of a manicure in her bicep. Immediately, she thinks of Mari’s manicure, stark against the purple dildo as she took it into her mouth.
If she had a real dick, she’d be extra fucked right now.
“Do you know what Danny Mears is saying?” Jackie says, looking deathly serious.
Shauna forces herself to roll her eyes. “I try not to pay attention to anything Mari’s stupid boyfriend says.”
Jackie doesn’t waver. Her eyes are huge and intense, staring Shauna down and daring her to look away and confess. “Shauna, I’m serious. Jeff asked me if Danny was telling the truth. I said no, of course, but he’s running his mouth to other boys, and that looks bad for us!”
“Telling the truth about what, Jackie?” Shauna can feel her heartbeat in her throat and just behind her ears. It’s loud and disorienting and scary. She can’t give that up, though.
Jackie’s shoulders fall, and she makes a face that Shauna always hates seeing. That “I’m your best friend. Are you seriously trying to lie to me?” face that Jackie likes to make. As if she knows Shauna better than Shauna knows herself.
Shauna bugs her eyes out and gestures for clarification.
“He said you gave Mari a hickey. On her boob, Shauna! What the hell!” Jackie is pacing now.
Whatever Shauna thought Jackie was going to say Danny was telling people, it wasn’t that. It’s like the floor drops out from under her, a trap door she didn’t know was there opening up to send her falling. The hickey. She forgot about the fucking hickey. She hasn’t seen it in the locker room at practice, but Mari’s been wearing sports bras religiously and spending less time in states of undress to talk shit or mess around.
If Danny’s seen it, he’s seen Mari shirtless, and probably braless. He’s her real boyfriend, so that’s not weird, but it still sits funny in Shauna’s stomach.
“Shauna! Are you seriously not gonna say anything? Danny says you guys were kissing at a slumber party, and you got handsy,” Jackie says. She’s whisper-yelling like when they argue in the library or at a party.
“I didn’t… I don’t know what Danny’s talking about. Seriously. I mean, have you noticed a hickey on Mari’s boobs?” Shauna feels wild in a way she doesn’t know what to do with. It’s like holding something too hot and not being able to set it down.
Jackie takes a step back, looking like she’s been shot. “I don’t look at Mari’s boobs!”
Shauna rolls her eyes, trying to stifle the shame rising in her. “Neither do I, but we’d all have teased her about it in the locker room by now if she had one! Come on. Everyone gives each other shit about hickeys. Danny’s full of shit. Mari and I made up like you wanted, and we’re gonna win tomorrow. That’s all that matters.”
Jackie stares at her for a long moment, her face shifting rapidly before the muscles in it slow down. She nods absentmindedly. “Right. Right. Of course. Danny’s just—God, who knows? Honestly, Mari needs to dump him. It’s weird how much his cousin looks like her.”
Shauna nods too. “He’s a total freak. Exactly.”
A freak whose girlfriend Shauna has been inside of. That thought makes Shauna feel better in a way that she wants to recoil from. But Jackie believes her that she hasn’t, and maybe Mari’s dumb enough to tell Danny that Shauna had her mouth on Mari’s tits, but she wouldn’t tell anyone that Shauna was inside her, would she?
She wouldn’t. Shauna thinks that she wouldn’t.
But it wouldn’t hurt to check. She just needs to corner Mari alone at some point even though they have no classes together, their lockers are in different wings, and Mari is always glued to someone’s side during practice. It’s not impossible.
Mari seems to be trying to make it impossible. Every time Shauna catches a glimpse of her before practice, Mari’s slipping away into a crowd or a room or around a corner. Shauna sees Mari, then the back of her head. It can’t be a coincidence. Mari is avoiding her.
Probably because she told Danny that Shauna gave her a hickey.
At practice, Shauna almost marches up to Mari to ask her what the hell she did that for. Except, Jackie and everyone else on the team would see and know what Shauna was confronting Mari about (probably; Jeff can’t be the only person Danny’s run his mouth to—are they even friends? Danny seems way too snobby to hang out with Jeff) and take it as proof that it’s true. Or maybe not true, but real. There’s a difference in gossip, Shauna thinks.
So talking to Mari is a non-starter on Thursday. But Shauna can’t put it to rest. She’ll just have to confront Mari on Friday. She can offer Mari a ride to the stupid party in Holmdel that Jackie’s been telling Shauna about. Jackie’s going with Jeff, and Mari lives in the opposite direction, so if Shauna just extends the ride offer to Tai, who also lives that way, and Nat, who lives way, way farther down that direction, then there’s nothing weird about it. Shauna will just pick Mari up first.
It’s not a bad plan. Shauna just has to get through Friday—and they have to win the first match of the season. That shouldn’t be too hard. Jackie saw to that when she made them have a sleepover. Despite it all, they have been playing better during practice. Maybe it was good luck. Not that Shauna’s going to make it a superstition.
She’s just going to make sure Mari knows to keep her mouth shut. It’s never happening again. Neither of them would even want it to. Mari’s definitely not a lesbian, and neither is Shauna. There’s no way.