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Diego was ecstatic that Stan was visiting for the winter break. To be honest he's missed that little gremlin; Diego was distracted with the kids and fixing up the house since a leak happened a week ago, but everything's perfect right now and he can't wait to catch up with his son.
However, Stanley had other plans. First night over he unpacked his bags and drank way too much with his parents. Diego assumed he'd worked way too hard on his projects at college and needed a drink.
Second night, Stan went out with some of his high-school friends and was dropped off by a– thankfully sober– friend.
This continued on for the rest of the week, Stan returning drunker and drunker every night; Diego and Lila getting more and more concerned every night.
It reminded Diego of Klaus, and he didnt like that thought at all.
What was bothering Stan so much hes drinking himself to sleep every night? It definitely wasn't ghosts. Was it ghosts? No definitely not.
By the end of the week, while getting a blacked out Stan to bed, the kid mumbled, "do- don' tell my dad."
This piqued Diegos interest, "Oh? What do I not tell him?"
"That 'm sad."
"Whyr'e you sad bud?"
"I don know, lo's of things."
Diego hummed sadly as he was setting Stan down into his bed, he didnt know about this and guilt was building up, he needed to know more. "Can you tell me one of those things?"
Stan looked at him with glassy confused eyes, "Why didn' mom get me befor' everythin'?" He takes a breathe and lets out a small sob, "I've wanted this for so long."
Shit. Diego immediately goes to hug his son, he doesn't understand what Stan's saying, but he knows he can comfort him.
Diego rubs circles on his kids back until Stan falls asleep. "Goodnight kiddo."
His kid doesnt reply.
He tucks him in more properly and goes upstairs with a heavy and a confused heart. This is way too familiar, and he needs to put a stop to this.
He grounds Stan from going out at night and removes all drinks from the house.
---¤---
Diego is twenty-two and hes dragging a drunk Klaus out of a bar and into his boiler room apartment.
"Klaus you gotta stop doing this, I'm not always free to get your ass home"
A giggle falls from Klaus' mouth, "but you always come 'nd get me"
Diego sighs and readjusts his grip on Klaus, "Yeah, well it's because I dont want you vomiting in an alley or something."
"Nahhh you just dont want me to die because you loveee me"
Keeping up his bad-boy persona, Diego denies, "Nope, I just have a sense of responsibility idi–"
"– I dont wanna be dead, I'd be a dumb ghost." Klaus interrupts
Is this what's it about, "is it the ghosts again?"
Nobody knows how to broach the topic with Klaus, but he talks about it more while hes drunk.
Klaus hummed, "Well, mor' like one isn' not coming over."
Diego didn't know what to say, so he said nothing.
Leading Klaus into his bed and fixing the blankets around his brother, Klaus continues, "Do you think he also left th' ghost realm so he won' deal with me?"
Shit, was this about Ben, is he still trying to summon him? Diego gulped, "... Ben?"
Klaus let out a wet laugh, "No silly, Ben is beside you. He's mad" his laughter quiets down, "I ca- can' even sense Fivey. Do you think he listened to Her?"
Diego doesn't know who Her is or how Klaus' powers work, but he does know how to help, "maybe... he's not listening to you because he's not.. d- dead?"
Klaus obviously likes that thought and brightens, "yeah- yeah! that little bugger is probably drinkin' margaritas not dealing with any of this shit"
A huff comes out of Diegos mouth, "don't think about it much Klaus, just– sleep." he tucks in Klaus and whispers, "g'night."
His brother doesnt reply.
---¤---
Diego was holding himself by a thread. He really didnt want to shout at Stan tonight. It's only been one day since he announced the grounding and while he's taking it well during the day, when the kids are at school and Lilas working; Stan gets more fidgety and avoidant by the evening.
Thats the only clue Diego has; the evening. Did something happen to him at night during college? No, Stan can handle himself. Diego taught him better defense techniques.
Is it the crowding? Lila herself gets overwhelmed with many people, but why isnt Stanley asking for a break? He knows he can ask for it.
Diego really wants to push and ask, but he doesn't. He knows from experience (Klaus) that it will just push Stan further.
It seems like he's taking the punishment personally (it is a personal grounding) but how hard is it to realize you can't go out drinking every night?
Diego is trying to be gentle, but God help him are his nerves up, and Stan isn't helping.
Stan's taking any chance to annoy him and get his attention for frivolous things. Maybe he wants more attention?– but why isnt he asking for it directly? He knows Diego will drop everything for his kids.
It all comes crashing down while Lila is taking a shower after a long shift. Hes in the kitchen helping Gracie do her homework (this math is much harder than he remembers Pogo teaching him) while feeding the twins their dinner in their highchairs.
Stan is sitting in the open living room across from him, with the TV blaring way too loud for Diego to focus on a reading.
"Hey Stan, just turn down the TV a bit, I can't hear myself think!"
Stan pauses the TV, thankfully, but sarcastically replies, "I thought I was supposed to stay home and do healthy activities."
A sigh leaves Diegos mouth, "It can be a healthy activity while also being not loud."
Diego hears a groan but the TV continues on much lower.
He smiles and goes back to his other kids.
Minutes pass and he hears footsteps coming closer to his side.
Diego doesnt look up from his Grace's paper and hums questioningly, "hm you want something kiddo?"
"I'm not a kid"
Diego lets out a sigh (again), "Okay what do you want? A snack?"
Stanleys face sours at Diegos' question and ignores it completely.
He snarkily jabs, "You're trying really hard on those equations. How can you be dumber than Gracie?"
Diego doesn't know how many remarks from Stan he can handle before he snaps and shouts back. (This is worse than dad's competitions.)
But Diego doesn't say anything. He closes his eyes and reminds himself he can't let his children go through even an ounce of what Reginald did to them.
He lets out another sigh (can you run out of those?), "Look Stan, I can't help you if you dont tell me what's wrong."
Stan hesitates, "I- its nothing you can help with."
This is what gets Diego going, "Really Stanley? Because I have years of experience with this. Older than you actually! So let me do my job and help you."
"Why do you wanna help me now huh? Not while im at college actually getting blacked out every night?!"
"Well maybe if you called us more we wouldve known!! I just assumed youre getting drunk at parties or whatever kids do."
"I do call, but whenever I do its always 'oh look stan Gracie did this' 'oh my god Stan! you missed Rohan walking!!'"
His son quiets down for a second but continues angrily, "you never ask how I am doing."
There's tears in Stan's eyes now, and his afermentioned siblings are quiet.
Diego immediately starts defending, "No, no, we ask right?"
The tears in Stanleys eyes grow and they're slowly falling down his cheeks, and Diego doesn't want to do anything more than hug his son and wipe away those tears, but he holds himself back.
He hesitates to speak, did he really not ask about how Stan is? He does ask him 'how its going' but thats small talk. He says that to everyone.
Diego knows Stan's grades, but he doesn't know what clubs he's in or what friends he has. He hears a 'Mark' brought up a lot, but Diego isn't exactly sure who he is.
Things get messy, Diego is still defensive that he tried helping Stanley, and just wants to talk. Stan has given up trying to prove his point (whatever it was) but his jabs get more specific, giving Diego an idea about his problem.
"No– it just seems like you like them better than me!!"
"I've never said that–"
"Not you saying shit, your actions you idiot."
"Watch your mouth."
"Name one friend of mines dad! Or- or someone in my band!"
His son's in a band? Diego hesitates, "..Mark?"
"Marks my math teacher!!" Stanley hisses, "See! You dont even know one thing about me."
Diego needs to fix this, "Look kiddo–"
Stanley snaps, "– Stop, stop. You're not even my real dad anyway!!"
Diego feels as if he'd been dropped into an ice cold tank.
He does forget sometimes that Stanley isnt fully his, but deep in his heart, Stan is his kid and nothing would change that.
However an admission from Stan breaks his heart and makes a heavy feeling settle in his chest.
He quiets down. If he speaks right now, he'll barely get a word in.
Stan immediately tries to rectify things, "I- I no dad, I meant tha-"
Diego lets out yet another sigh and tries to stop his throat from shaking, but fails, "No ye- yeah. You're right Stan. What kind of fa.. father. Doesn't know his kids' friends or d.. day to- to day. Or ev- even–"
Diego hears footsteps coming down the stairs, and he silently thanks God for Lilas entrance.
"– eard shouting is everything okay?"
---¤---
Seems like everything is not okay.
Grace is sitting at the edge of the kitchen table with her homework half done and forgotten about.
Coco's and Rohans' dinner bowls are finished, but they're still in their highchairs.
Three of her kids are looking straight into the living room. Where Diego and her eldest are standing. No doubt the source of the argument, she lets out a sigh and continues down the stairs.
That's when she sees more clearly that Stan's face is full of tears and Diego is teary-eyed.
He looks at her sadly, "Can yo- you deal with the k.. kids for a while? I need a minute."
Shit if he barely can get a sentence in then Stanley must've really said something.
Lila puts her hand on his shoulder, "Yeah, of course hun, take a break." She squeezed his shoulder in reassurance, and Diego went upstairs far too eagerly.
Once Diego was out of earshot, she turns to Stan, "What'd you say?"
Stanley freezes up like a deer in headlights, "Nothing!"
A sigh escapes Lila, "Look, I know he's a big softy, but he won't cry at just anything Stan. So what'd you say to him."
That's when Grace, helpfully (unhelpfully for Stan) goes, "he said dad's not his real dad! But I dont know why. He is our dad, right?"
Oh God, Lila really can't have the adoption talk right now, it seems like it'd set Stanley even more off.
"No yeah- yeah Gracie he is your dad, Stan's just a bit mad right now."
Lila quickly explains as she walks to the twins chairs and unbuckles them, "Can you do me a favour? (mhm!!) take the twins to their room? I just wanna talk to your brother okay?"
Gracie holds her siblings hands as they toddle away into their room, its a cute sight, but Lila still has to deal with her older kid.
She turns around and finds Stan still standing in the same spot and crying.
Lila grabs his hands and leads him to the couch, "c'mon kiddo, talk to me."
"He's gotta know I didn't mean it, please mom, it was just the kids and I- I–"
"– okay okay calm down, we both know you didn't mean that. He loves being your dad. One angry comment isn't gonna stop him from being you dad, okay?"
Stan lets out a sigh, "I know that, but why–" he stops himself from continuing.
"Why what."
"Nothing.."
Lila wipes his tears off his cheeks and cradles it, "uhuh kiddo, this 'nothing' led to all of this? Just tell me what's wrong."
And it seems like all the fight has left Stan's body, all that's left is her little kid.
He leans into her hand and quietly whispers, "no its just that you seem to like Gracie, and Coco and Rohan more than me... and" he lets out a wet laugh, "I know it's stupid. Being jealous over your siblings, but.. I can't help but think it's because im not your, actual kid."
The thought shocks Lila. She hasn't thought of Stan as being her not-kid in ages.
(She sometimes forgets hes not biologically theirs. She once told Diego that Stan gets his temper from her before pausing and laughing.)
But Stanley continues, leaving the comfort of Lila's hand, "y'know," he sniffs, "sometimes I still feel like im playing pretend, tha- that the game hasn't ended yet."
An immediate "What." Comes out of Lila, "No no, Stanley– Kiddo. You'll always be our kid whether you like it or not. I've adored your stupid silly face ever since I met you, Diego immediately loved you even after he figured it out. We—"
"–So why do I still feel like shit then?!"
Seems like he still has a fight in him, "every time you do something nice to the kids I feel jealous and angry. I know it's stupid to think about, but why couldn't I have had that. Why did I get to have nothing until you came and they get everything from when they've been born?!" Stanley whined.
He continued shakily, "sometimes I get so angry, why– why didnt you get back to me before I was alone? You could've used that briefcase to get me out earlier!"
Lila is still connecting the dots, but they should've noticed this sooner.
Stanley quiets down, but he is still silently crying.
Lila cups his face, he doesn't leave this time.
She wipes his tears, "Ohh sunshine. Why did you say something? No, scratch that– we should've noticed. If I had a choice of what decade I'd travel to again– I wouldve taken you from her the moment you were born so I'd shower you with all the love you deserve."
A small sob leaves Stanleys throat, and Lilas heart breaks even more.
She moves to hug her child who's much taller than her at this point, but all she sees is that chubby twelve year old she apparently rescued.
(She should've known. She knows both her and Diego feel bittersweet about treating their kids with so much love.
They love coddling and spoiling their kids and they'd never ever stop, but late at night, between the covers, they admit they're slightly jealous, wish the world was right, that they also got this love from their so-called parents.
They have long accepted it, though. It seems Stanley hasn't. But Lila is gonna set it straight.)
One long conversation and many sob stories later, Lila tucks her son into his bed.
He lets out a wet laugh, "You do know im not actually Coco's age, right?"
Lila giggles, "Yeah, kiddo, but since no one has done this for you, im gonna give you special attention like the other kids from now on."
Stan hums, "... It's nice. Thanks, mom.
As Lila finishes the last corner, she kisses his forehead and walks out the room, "g'night Stan."
She thinks her son won't reply but he lets out a quiet whisper, "mom?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you tell dad im sorry?"
"Of course, but kiddo?"
"mhm?"
"I know he's already forgiven you"
"Oh.. goodnight, mom"
"goodnight love"
Lila goes back into her and Diegos room and finds Diego sleeping with tears across his face and pillow. She doesnt want to wake him up, they can talk in the morning, so she slips in next to him and sleeps with a lighter heart.
---¤---
Next morning Stan wakes up with no hangover (for the first time in weeks), tucked in, and still feeling loved.
He groans as he leaves his warm bed, but he's hungry, and walks towards the stairs.
Something was different though, the frames on the wall were moved.
In between his siblings baby photos and his graduation photos, were pictures of him as a baby.
What?
He thought those were back in Berlin in the eighties and unobtainable.
Stan grabs one of the photo of the frames (one of him still in diapers but holding drumsticks with his tounge out), and rushes downstairs to the kitchen holding it.
He sees his dad over the stove making eggs (Stan slightly freezes at the sight of his dad), and his mom slumped over the kitchen table clutching a warm cup of coffee.
"Mom! where'd you get these?!"
Lila and Diego both turn around and their faces soften over the baby picture of him.
Stan's face reddens out of embarrassment but shakes it again questioningly.
His mom lets out a deranged giggle, "An agent never reveals their secrets."