Untitled Kerdly and Suselle Fic

by Riivxr

Summary:

My first fanfic focussed mainly on the building of the relationship between Kris and Berdly. Susie and Noelle's relationship are worked on too, but not as present as Kris and Berdly's.

Also the four's friendship, ect :))

Chapter 1: Festival Lines and Game Over Screens

Notes:

This is my first time writing fanfic, it gets better guys, trust 💔

Noelle's living room was exactly as Kris remembered it. Warm, softly lit, and aggressively festive even when it wasn't a holiday. A few plush reindeer sat neatly on the couch. The coffee table had been claimed by controllers, snack bowls, and a half-finished puzzle that Susie had declared "optional."

Susie was sprawled on the floor, mashing buttons with reckless enthusiasm. "C'MON. HOW did you dodge that?!"

Noelle squeaked, shoulders hunched, but her fingers were surprisingly fast. "I-I don't know! I think it's the shield timing?"

Kris sat cross-legged on the couch, calmly watching the chaos unfold on the screen. "You're panic-rolling again, Susie."

Susie glanced back. "I am NOT-" Her character promptly fell into a pit. "...okay maybe a little."

Noelle giggled, covering her mouth. "Sorry!"

"Don't apologize for winning" Kris said. "It encourages her."

"HEY—"

The game paused as Noelle's phone began to ring on the side table. She flinched slightly when she saw the caller ID.

"What?? Who is it?" Susie asked curiously.

"Oh—um. It's Berdly."

Susie's head snapped up. "BERDLY??"

Kris leaned forward, eyes already narrowing in anticipation.

Noelle hesitated, then picked up. "H-Hello?"

The speaker crackled. Berdly's voice burst through, confident as ever. "Ah, Noelle! Perfect timing. I, Berdly, was just finalizing my strategic social calendar when I realized—"

Susie leans over, shouting directly into the phone. "NO ONE ASKED, FEATHERHEAD."

"—that the upcoming festival would be an ideal opportunity for—HEY! Susie! I was speaking!"

Susie laughs out loud, and screams "NO CHANCE!" into the mic, the sound making Krises ears ring before she tossed the phone away from Noelle.

Noelle stared in shock for a moment.

"Haha.. screw that featherhead, amirite?"

Kris began to get up, watching and listening as Noelle and Susie laugh and joke around as they reached for Noelle's phone, which was now on the ground. They let out a sigh, feeling slightly disappointed as they hear about their friends' festival plans.

They picked up the phone and decided to listen to what Berdly was rambling to himself about. After all, Susie and Noelle seem too busy with eachother at the moment.

"She's gone yandere for me.." Kris heard, and they immediately tried not to burst out laughing. What the fuck? They can't help but listen some more.

"But.. now that I think about it, she must be very lonely.. A poor girl, with no one to show her exclusive tips and tricks.."

They sigh, listening to Berdly. But then, they hear him speak again.

"Hello? Are you still there? ...Listen. it DISGUSTS me to say this, but..." Where could he possibly be going with this?

"As an ACT. of CHARITY. I will let you.. be the breeze under my wings. ..You, Me, Festival."

Krises eyes widen. As much as that WASN'T meant for them, they couldn't help but just answer. After all, they'd just be lonely during the festival, but it wouldn't HURT to try and go with Berdly. "Sure, Let's go."

Oh god yes it would. What have they gotten themselve into??

There was a pause. "K... KRIS!? You... you... the phone, you...!?"

Another pause. Longer this time.

"...Why do you have Noelle's phone."

"We're hanging out."

Berdly huffed. "W-Well. Fine. Regardless, I was calling to ask Noelle if she would accompany me to the festival."

Kris blinked once.

Berdly cleared his throat. "Ahem. Well. That aside. I suppose I could extend the invitation to you instead, Kris."

"You already kinda did."

"BUT NOT WITH THE INTENTION OF IT BEING YOU!" Berdly yelled.

"So, you're asking me out then?"

"I—! I am asking you to attend the festival with me! As a… a demonstration of social aptitude!"

"Sure," Kris said.

Silence.

"…Wait. Really?"

"Yes. Well, see you there."

They hung up before he could respond.

---

Berdly POV - Immediately After

 

Berdly stared at his phone.

Then screamed into a pillow.

"I ASKED KRIS ON A DATE." He yelled. "I ASKED KRIS ON A DATE BY ACCIDENT. OH MY GOD"

His mother knocked on the door. "Honey? Are you—"

"NO."

---

Later

 

"So," Susie said, arms crossed, pacing Noelle's living room. "YOU'RE going with someone?"

Kris nodded. "Yep"

Noelle clasped her hands. "W-Who?"

Kris shrugged. "You'll see."

Susie narrowed her eyes. "I don't like mysteries."

---

The festival - With Susie and Noelle 

 

The town square buzzed with lights, music, and the chatter of students and teachers. Toriel waved cheerfully near a bake sale. Somewhere in the distance, Undyne was yelling enthusiastically about grilled skewers.

Noelle and Susie walked together, side to side. Noelle was fidgeting with her sleeves.

"I hope my mom doesn't find out I'm here with you.." She murmured.

Susie snorted. "What, she think I'm gonna steal you?"

Noelle blushed. "…K-Kind of?"

Susie grinned. "Cool."

---

With Kris and Berdly.

 

Kris stood near the fountain, hands in their pockets.

Berdly stood next to them, rigid as a statue.

"You are precisely on time" Berdly said. "That's a first."

"You've adjusted your glasses four times, how nervous are you?" Kris replied.

"...This is the correct amount."

Susie and Noelle approached together.

Susie stopped dead. "…You've gotta be fucking joking." She said, staring at Kris. And Berdly, who is standing stiffly beside them, wearing a neatly pressed jacket. Trying very hard not to look nervous.

Susie stared. "…NO WAY"

Noelle gasped. "B-Berdly?"

Berdly adjusted his glasses. "Ah. Greetings. As you can see, Kris and I are—"

"On a date" Kris said, just trying to get under Berdly's skin.

Berdly choked. "I—! W-We are ATTENDING THE FESTIVAL TOGETHER."

Kris smiled faintly.

Susie burst out laughing so hard she had to lean on Noelle, who almost falls over from the weight put on her.

---

Walking the Festival

 

Kris and Berdly moved slowly through booths. Too slowly.

Berdly kept a careful distance, which somehow made everything worse.

Why are they walking at his pace? Why does he care...?

"Kris." Berdly said suddenly. "Observe this ring toss booth. A test of precision and—"

Kris tossed a ring. It landed perfectly.

"…Hmph.." Berdly muttered. "Beginner's luck."

They won a small plush. Berdly shoved it into Kris's hands. "YOU HOLD IT."

Kris noticed his wings twitch whenever their hands brushed.

"Are you nervous?" Kris asked.

"I am NOT nervous" Berdly snapped, immediately followed by, "…I am adequately stimulated."

"Uh-huh."

---

Berdly POV

 

Why was Kris smiling.

Why does that make my chest feel.. weird?

They stopped at a drink stand. Berdly ordered confidently, then froze when Kris leaned closer.

"You've got foam on your beak.." They said.

"…I do not."

Kris wiped it away with a napkin.

Berdly's face went bright blue.

"T-THANK YOU. FOR YOUR… ASSISTANCE."

Kris tilted their head. "You're welcome?"

WHY WAS THIS HARDER THAN GROUP PROJECTS.

---

Meanwhile, with Susie and Noelle.

 

Susie and Noelle sat on the curb, sharing fries.

"This is nice," Noelle said softly, feeling happy, overwhelmed, and nervous about her mother finding out. After all, Carol wouldn't approve of this, would she?

Susie nodded. "…Yeah."

They leaned closer, shoulders touching.

Noelle hesitated, then kissed Susie's cheek. Oh god. Why did she do that???

Susie froze. Then smiled, slow and soft. "Hey uh... you okay?"

Noelle nodded, glowing. "Y-Yeah."

From across the square, Noelle's big sister, Dess, waved enthusiastically with Krises brother, Asriel beside her. "LOOK AT THEM" Dess stage-whispered. "BABY GAYS."

Asriel laughed. "Be subtle, Dess.."

"I CALLED IT!"

Dess's voice cut clean through the festival noise like a fire alarm. She stood a few feet away, arm thrown dramatically into the air, grinning like she'd just won a bet against the universe.

Noelle nearly dropped her fries.

"D-Dess!" She squeaked. "You can't just..!"

Asriel rubbed the back of his neck, smiling apologetically. "Sorry. She's been holding that in"

"I HAVE" Dess said proudly. "And LOOK AT THEM." She pointed openly at Susie and Noelle, who were still sitting close enough that their shoulders were touching. "Textbook baby gays. Early-stage. Untapped potential."

Susie squinted at her. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Dess Holiday" She said, cracking up and getting ready to speak again

Noelle's face was bright red. "S-She's my sister…"

"That explains a lot" Susie muttered.

Dess's eyes flicked past them.

And landed immediately on Kris and Berdly.

"Oh. OH."

Dess's grin widened

"…Wait" She said, lowering her voice slightly. "Hold on. That's new. HEY AZZY-"

Asriel flinched at the loud call coming from his girlfriend. "What..?"

"Look.." Dess says, already walking up to Kris and Berdly. "Well well well.. what did we miss?"

Berdly stiffened instantly. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE IMPLYING."

Kris, holding the plush Berdly had shoved at them earlier, gave a small wave. "Hi Dess, Azzy.."

Asriel's eyes widened a little. "...Hi, Kris. Berdly."

He looked between them.

Then looked again.

"…Huh."

Berdly bristled. "WHY is everyone making that noise."

Dess crossed her arms, studying them like a puzzle. "So.." She said casually, "Are we in the ‘accidental date’ phase or the ‘nobody’s admitting shit’ phase?"

Berdly choked. "IT WAS A MISCOMMUNICATION."

Kris nodded. "It was."

Dess blinked. "Wow. You're not denying it."

Kris shrugged.

"Well, we're gonna go now. Gonna get HELLA stoned!!"

Asriel laughs nervously at that, walking away with her "Dess, i told you to keep it down on the weed.."

"I know, i know."

Dess's eyes flicked to Kris and Berdly one last time.

"And you two?" She added. "You're adorable. Even when you're lying to yourselves."

Berdly sputtered. "WE ARE NOT—"

"Night!" Dess said, waving as she dragged Asriel away.

Dess walked back with Asriel, Taking a hit of her blunt, and plopped down on the edge of the fountain, propping her chin on her hands. "You know" she said to Susie and Noelle while looking back at Kris and Berdly for a moment. "These two got potential. This is about how it started for us too."

Noelle looked up. "R-Really?"

Asriel smiled fondly. "Yeah. Lots of ‘we're just hanging out’ and ‘this doesn't mean anything.’"

"And then one day.." Dess continued, "I realized I was rearranging my entire schedule around him and went ‘oh shit... I love that dork’"

Asriel let out a laugh "You wanted to be with me 24/7 babe.."

"Because you couldn't live without me."

"Yeah Yeah, keep telling yourself that."

---

Kris and Berdly sat on a bench by the fountain. The lights reflected in the water.

Silence stretched.

Not awkward. Just… new.

"…I didn't mean to ask you" Berdly said quietly.

"I know" Kris replied.

"...Are you mad?"

Kris shook their head. "No."

Berdly exhaled shakily. "...Good."

Another pause.

"…I'm glad you answered" Berdly admitted. 

Kris smiled, just a little. 

"B-BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I ENJOY THIS!" 

"Yeah yeah sure berdly.." Kris said, laughing.

They both knew the real truth.

Chapter 2: After the festival

Susie walked Noelle home the long way.

Dess slung an arm around Noelle. "I'll call and tell mom you're with Kris tonight. I know how she is about Susie." She said, looking over at Asriel 

"After all. I'm pretty sure Kris is gonna be with that feathery dork. And I want some alone time with my dork.." Dess said seductively.

Asriel's face goes red, feeling incredibly flustered.

"Dess. They don't need to know all of that."

"Come on!—"

Both Susie and Noelle stared in disgust.

"Yeahh.. I don't need to know all of that shit"

"M-me neither" Noelle murmured

Dess winked. "Yeah yeah sorry.. anyway, I got you covered, Elly."

---

Susie and Noelle's walk home

 

The walk to Susie's place was quieter than the festival, the night air cool and steady. Noelle kept her hands tucked into her sleeves, steps small but determined.

"So" Susie said, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets. "You good?"

Noelle nodded. "Y-Yeah. I think so."

They walked another block in comfortable silence.

"...My mom's probably mad" Noelle added softly.

Susie snorted. "Yeah, well. Mine's always mad. You get used to it."

"What do you mean?" Noelle asked with concern

"Ah, don't worry bout it."

Noelle hesitated. "Dess said she'd cover for me."

"See? You got backup."

They reached the door. Susie fumbled with her keys, dropped them, swore quietly, then finally got the lock open.

"Uh" She said, suddenly awkward. "Welcome to… my place."

Inside, it was dim and messy in a lived-in way. Mostly. A jacket slung over a chair. Old posters peeling slightly at the corners. Dust collecting here and there.

Noelle looked around the living room, eyes soft. "It's.. um… nice."

"You don't have to lie to me Noelle"

"I'm not! It feels like.. well, you."

Susie scratched the back of her neck. "…Huh."

They stood there for a second too long.

Noelle shifted closer. "Th-Thank you. For tonight."

"Anytime."

Noelle leaned in, slow and careful, and pressed a small kiss to Susie's cheek.

Susie froze. Then blushed. Then smiled.

"...You can stay over" She said quickly. "If you want. I mean. Only if you want."

Noelle's face lit up. "I'd like that!"

Susie grinned. "Cool."

---

Susie's room - before sleeping 

 

Susie kicked her shoes off by the door and dropped her jacket over the back of a chair. Her room was dim, lit mostly by a flickering lamp and the glow from the street outside.

"Uh.." She said, rubbing the back of her neck. "You can, like… sit wherever."

Noelle smiled and perched carefully on the edge of the bed, hands folded in her lap. "Okay."

Susie rummaged through a drawer and tossed Noelle a hoodie. "This fuckass place has no heating. It gets cold."

Noelle caught it, surprised. "O-oh- …Thanks."

It was big on her. The sleeves covered her hands. She tugged them down shyly.

Susie watched for half a second too long, then turned away. "You hungry? I've got chips. And, uh. Cereal."

"That's okay" Noelle said softly. "This is already nice.."

They ended up sitting on the floor, backs against the bed. Susie put on a pirated movie on her phone she claimed she "definitely wasn't invested in" then proceeded to comment on every scene.

"That guy's an idiot."

Noelle giggled. "Maybe a little.."

Their shoulders brushed. Neither moved.

At one point, Susie reached for the bowl of chips and accidentally bumped Noelle's hand.

"Oh— sorry" Noelle said, although it wasn't her fault. There wasn't even anything to apologise for.

"It's okay" Susie said quickly, following up with "Geez you apologise way too much.."

"I'm sorry.."

"NOELLE."

They laugh, and then shared the chips in silence for a while.

"...Thanks for walking me here" Noelle said after a moment.

Susie shrugged. "Anytime."

The movie kept playing, forgotten. Outside, a car passed. Somewhere down the street, a dog barked.

Noelle leaned her head gently against Susie's shoulder.

Susie froze. Then slowly relaxed.

"…You good?" Susie asked.

Noelle nodded, eyes half-closed. "Yeah."

They stayed like that, quiet and warm, until the screen dimmed and the night settled in.

Eventually, Susie yawned. "We should probably crash."

Noelle smiled sleepily. "Mhm..."

They didn't rush. Didn't say anything important.

They just got in bed.

Turned off the light.

And that was enough.

---

Kris and Berdly's walk home

 

The streets were quieter now, festival noise fading behind them. Streetlights hummed softly overhead. Kris walked with their hands in their pockets, matching Berdly's pace without trying.

Berdly broke the silence first. "So. Objectively speaking. Tonight was… not a disaster."

Kris nodded. "High praise."

"I mean it" He added quickly. "There were no social implosions. Minimal humiliation."

"You yelled at a balloon vendor."

"HE STARTED IT."

Kris snorted before they could stop themself.

Berdly froze mid-step. "…Did you just laugh."

"Maybe" Kris said. "Don't get used to it."

Berdly felt something warm bloom in his chest and immediately chose to ignore it.

---

Berdly's House

 

The house lights were on when they arrived. Berdly slowed.

"…My mom's still awake.." He muttered. "Just- ..just warning you."

The door opened before he could say more.

"Oh!" His mother said brightly. "Berdly, you're home early. And you brought a friend!"

Berdly stiffened. "THIS IS KRIS."

Kris gave a small wave. "Hi."

She smiled warmly. "You must be the one he's been talking about."

Berdly nearly short-circuited. "I HAVE NOT—"

"He mentioned the festival a lot" She continued cheerfully. "Would you like some cocoa?"

"Yes" Kris said immediately.

"…Traitor" Berdly muttered.

His mom laughed. "You two have fun while I'm in the kitchen. Try not to stay up too late tonight."

She walked off, humming.

Berdly stared at the floor. "…I'm never emotionally recovering from that."

---

Kitchen, Later That Night

 

Berdly's mom set three mugs on the table, steam curling up lazily. "Cocoa!" She said cheerfully. "It helps you sleep."

"I don't need help sleeping" Berdly said immediately.

Kris took a mug. "Thank you."

"You're very polite." His mom said, smiling at them. "Berdly was never much for manners when he was younger."

"THAT IS A LIE!" Berdly protested. "I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN—"

"—very loud" She finished fondly. "Yes."

Berdly sank into his chair, wings drooping. "…I hate it here."

Kris hid a smile behind the mug as they took small sips, the cocoa hot on their tongue.

His mom turned her attention fully to Kris. "So.." She said lightly. "How do you two know each other?"

Berdly choked on his cocoa.

"School" Kris answered calmly, not understanding Berdly's overreaction. "And group projects."

"Oh?" She said. "Berdly talks about school a lot lately."

Berdly stares at her. "WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT."

She blinks innocently. "Is that embarrassing?"

"Yes."

Kris glanced at Berdly. "You talk about me?"

"I TALK ABOUT EVERYONE!" Berdly snapped. "…Academically."

His mom hummed. "You seem good for him."

Berdly made a strangled noise. "MOM."

Kris paused, then nodded politely. "He's… thoughtful."

Berdly's brain fully shut down.

"Well," his mom said, standing, "I'll let you two relax. Kris, you're welcome here anytime."

"Thank you" Kris said sincerely.

She left the room.

The silence that followed was deafening.

"…I'm so sorry." Berdly muttered, staring into his mug. "She does this."

Kris shrugged. "She's nice. I don't know what you're making such a big deal out of."

"She IMPLIED THINGS."

Kris smiled softly. "She didn't say anything wrong."

Berdly groaned and put his head on the table.

"…Please pretend this never happened."

Kris took another sip of cocoa. "No promises.."

---

The Gamer Room

 

After the embarrassment and hot cocoa, they headed up the stairs to Berdly's room.

Berdly's gamer room was exactly as chaotic as you'd expect from a boy like him. Posters, cables, stacked games, glowing monitors.

Kris looked around. "It's impressive."

"Of COURSE it's impressive! You just WISH you had such an epic gamer room like I do!"

"Yeahhhh okay I'm never complimenting you again." They say. They both laugh.

After Berdly showed Kris his entire room and everything they DON'T care about, They play games side by side. A few shoves here and there... Arguing over strategies. Berdly got overly competitive, but Kris beat him anyway.

"That was NOT a fair match!" Berdly said. "You were clearly sandbagging."

"I warned you I'm better." Kris replied.

Berdly laughed despite himself.

At some point, the clock blinked past midnight.

"…Its getting late. If you want you can stay over at this humble estate for the night." Berdly said quickly. "O-ONLY if you want. And you'll get the guest bed. Obviously."

Kris nodded. "Thanks. I think it's for the best.. I don't even want to imagine what Dess and Azzy are doing in our room.."

Berdly laughs while pretending his heart wasn’t racing.

---

Berdly lingered in his room, rocking slightly on his heels like he was waiting for instructions that didn't exist.

"So.." He said finally. "Uh. About sleeping arrangements.."

Kris looked up from inspecting a poster on the wall. "I can take the couch if that's easier."

"No-" Berdly said too fast. Then coughed. "I mean, the guest room. There's a guest room. With a bed. And a door. Obviously."

Kris nodded. "That works."

Berdly visibly relaxed, then immediately tensed again. "…Do you have pajamas?"

Kris blinked. "Not really. Didn't think I'd crash by tonight. Nothing is planned or intentional when it comes to us"

Berdly couldn't help but crack a smile. "RIGHT. Okay. I can- I have spares. Clean. I mean. Washed."

He opened a drawer and pulled out a neatly folded shirt and pants, holding them out like a peace offering.

"These are fine" Kris said. "Thank you."

"…You're welcome." Berdly muttered, watching very hard as Kris accepted them.

They stood there for a moment.

"…The bathroom's down the hall." Berdly added. "Hot water works. Mostly."

"Mostly?" Kris echoed.

"Don't worry about it."

Kris didn't ask further.

They stared at each other for a beat too long.

Berdly gestured wildly. "JUST GO!"

Kris smiled faintly and stepped outside, walking towards the bathroom.

Berdly leaned his forehead against the wall the second the door closed.

Get it together.

---

Kris POV — Bathroom

 

The bathroom light hummed softly when Kris flipped it on.

They set the borrowed pajamas on the counter and turned on the sink, letting the water run while it warmed. The mirror was slightly fogged from earlier use, edges smudged where someone had wiped it with their sleeve instead of a towel.

Kris washed their hands, slow and methodical. The house felt different from theirs. lighter, quieter in a way that didn't feel empty.

This is fine, they thought.

It was just a night over at a classmate's house. A normal thing. People did this all the time.

Still.

Berdly didn't have to ask, they thought. But he did.

About the room. The clothes. Whether this was okay.

They brushed their teeth slowly, watching the reflection move instead of really looking at it. Their eyes drifted to the corner of the mirror, where a small crack ran like a lightning bolt. Someone had tried to fix it with tape once. It hadn't worked.

This wasn't supposed to happen, they thought. The festival. The call. Staying over.

They didn't feel bad about it.

That part was… notable.

They rinsed, wiped their mouth with the back of their hand, and leaned against the counter. The house was quiet beyond the door. Not silent. Just lived-in. Pipes ticking. A distant TV murmur. Someone moving in another room.

Berdly's nervous, Kris thought. He always is.

They almost smiled.

They changed into the borrowed pajamas. They were a little big. Soft. They smelled faintly like detergent and something else. something familiar in a way Kris couldn't place.

He didn't have to offer, they thought. But he did.

Kris ran the faucet again, splashing their face lightly. The water was a little too hot, then too cold. They adjusted it, patient.

’I could've said no’ I realized. ’I didn't’

They turned off the light, opening the door slowly.

The hallway beyond was dim and quiet.

Kris stepped out, feeling settled in a way they hadn't expected.

Not certain.

Just… okay with staying.

’I don't mind staying’, I realized.

The thought settled easily. No panic. No rush.

Just… there.

Kris turned off the light, stepping back into the hallway, quiet as they closed the door behind them.

They walked back to Berdly's room, walking inside without knocking. How surprising. He's gaming.

"Hey, Berdly" They said at a normal volume. Of course they got no reaction. They took off his headset and yelled "BERDLY!" Into his ear, making him jump up.

"HEY! NO NEED TO FRICKIN YELL!"

"Maybe I wouldn't have to if you weren't deaf."

"I heard you the first time. I just.. didn't feel like replying." Berdly said. They both knew it was a lie.

"…Those fit okay?" He asked, trying to change the subject.

Kris nodded. "Yeah. Comfortable."

Berdly hesitated. "…You can keep them. If you want."

"Thanks."

Kris sighed and spoke. "So, it's uh.. getting late. We got school tomorrow. Where's the guest room?"

"Oh, yeah, right, cmon." Berdly said, pausing his game and walking out of the room, leading them to the guest room and stepping inside.

---

The guest room was tidy and a little too formal, like it didn't get used much. Kris set their things down.

"…Do you usually stay up late?" Kris asked.

Berdly shrugged. "Yeah. But I try not to. My mom says I get grumpy."

"You do."

"…Rude" Berdly replied, but without heat.

---

A few minutes pass of Kris getting settled.

"…Goodnight, Kris" Berdly said quietly.

"Goodnight, Berdly."

Berdly waited until Kris closed the guest room door before exhaling. He stared at the door for a second longer than necessary.

Then went to his own room, heart racing over absolutely nothing.

And everything.

---

Thin Walls

 

Kris stared at the ceiling.

The guest room was quiet in the polite, unused way. Too tidy. Too unfamiliar. The blankets were warm, but sleep refused to settle. Every small noise, the house creaking, the distant hum of electricity, felt louder in the dark.

They turned onto their side. Still awake, they noted. Not annoyed. Just aware.

From the other side of the wall, there was a soft thump. Then another. Then a very quiet, frustrated huff.

Kris smiled faintly. "…Berdly?" They called, not raising their voice.

There was a sharp pause.

"...Kris?" Came Berdly's voice, muffled through the wall. "…Why are you awake."

"Could ask you the same thing."

"…Unfair."

They listened to the sound of sheets shifting on the other side.

"I can't sleep." Berdly admitted after a moment. "My brain is doing that thing where it replays everything I've ever done wrong. Chronologically."

"That sounds exhausting."

"It IS."

Kris rolled onto their back. "Wanna talk?"

"…Through the wall?"

"Sure."

They both lay there, the wall between them thin enough that Kris could hear Berdly's breathing when they focused.

"So," Berdly said carefully. "Today was… weird."

"Yeah."

"But not bad." Berdly added quickly. "Objectively."

Kris hummed in agreement.

They talked about small things first. The walk home. The balloon vendor Berdly yelled at. Susie laughing too loud. Dess yelling.

"I am never recovering from what Dess said.."

Kris laughed quietly into their pillow. "She's not wrong."

"She doesn't KNOW that" He shot back, then groaned. "God. And the call. The phone call."

"The legendary one."

"I ASKED YOU OUT BY ACCIDENT."

"You did."

"I DID NOT MEAN TO!"

"I know."

Berdly sighed, then unexpectedly laughed. It started small, then got a little louder, like he couldn't stop it once it began.

"…Okay" He said, breathless. "Okay. It is kind of funny."

"It is.." Kris agreed.

They were quiet again, but it was a softer silence now.

"...Kris?" Berdly said.

"Yeah?"

"…Would it be weird if we didn't do this through a wall."

Kris didn't answer right away.

"....You want to move rooms?"

"…Yes."

"Okay."

There was movement. Doors opening softly. Footsteps. Kris sat up as Berdly peeked into the guest room, feathers a little messy, glasses slightly crooked.

"…Hi..." Berdly said, suddenly shy.

"Hi..."

They settled on the bed, sitting against the headboard with space between them that slowly, naturally shrank. No one commented on it.

They kept talking. About the festival. About school. About nothing important. At some point, Berdly yawned and leaned back without thinking.

Kris followed a moment later.

"…This is fine" Berdly murmured, staring at the ceiling. "Right?"

"Yeah." Kris said. "It is..."

The room grew quiet again. This time, it stuck. Berdly's breathing evened out first. Kris noticed without looking.

They closed their eyes. Tomorrow could deal with whatever this meant. Tonight was just warm.

And close.

And enough.

Chapter 3: The morning after

Susie's Place — Morning Light

 

Morning came in through the blinds in thin, uneven stripes.

Noelle woke first. She didn't move right away. Just laid there, half-awake, listening. The room was quiet in a way that felt… unfinished. No distant voices. No doors opening. No television murmuring in another room.

Just breathing.

Beside her, Susie was still asleep, sprawled across the bed without care. one arm flung out, hair a mess. Her face looked softer like this, tension loosened in a way Noelle didn't see often. There was a faint crease between her brows, even now. Noelle watched it rise and fall with each breath.

She shifted carefully, trying not to wake her, but the mattress creaked anyway.

Susie groaned. "...Mnn. Too early..."

"Sorry" Noelle whispered.

Susie cracked one eye open, then the other. She squinted at the light. "You apologise too much... What time is it?"

"I—I don't know. Morning?"

Susie huffed a laugh and rolled onto her back. "Figures."

They lay there for a bit, neither rushing to get up. The air felt heavy, but not uncomfortable. Just quiet. Noelle tucked the blanket closer around herself.

"…Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah" Susie said. "Better than usual."

Noelle smiled faintly at that.

---

Kitchen — Empty House

 

The kitchen was cold. Noelle noticed immediately. The kind of cold that came from rooms being unused too long. The fridge hummed loudly in the silence as Susie opened it, peering inside.

"Uh" Susie said. "We got… milk. Maybe. And cereal."

"That's okay" Noelle said quickly. "I don't need much."

Susie grabbed two bowls anyway, set them down with a dull clack. She moved on autopilot, pouring cereal, setting spoons, not looking at Noelle as she slid a bowl across the table.

Noelle glanced around. There were signs of life everywhere, but none of presence. Shoes by the door, jackets thrown over a chair, a coffee mug left unwashed in the sink. Nothing was fresh.

"...Are your parents still asleep?" Noelle asked gently.

Susie stiffened. Just a little. "Nah They’re… not here."

"Oh-" Noelle hesitated. "Are they—?"

"Working. Or out. Or something." Susie shrugged and sat down, already eating.

Noelle nodded, though something in her chest tightened.

They ate in silence for a bit. Cereal crunching. Spoon tapping porcelain.

Noelle tried again, softer. "...Do they usually leave this early?"

Susie didn't answer right away. "…Sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"Yeah."

---

Routine — Cracks Forming

 

After breakfast, Susie rinsed the bowls and left them in the sink. Noelle followed her through the house, noticing things she hadn't last night. How the lights stayed off, how Susie avoided certain rooms without realizing it.

Susie grabbed her jacket, checked her phone. Noelle lingered by the doorway.

"Susie...?"

"What."

Noelle swallowed. "I just- I was wondering if they knew I stayed over."

"No, Noelle. They do not know. And they wouldn't care either. If they cared, they would be here."

Noelle's eyes softened. "Susie.. tell me. Where are they?"

"Gone."

"Gone where?"

Susie turned on her, eyes sharp. "Why do you need to know?"

"I-I just want to understand..."

"Well don't."

The words landed hard.

Noelle's ears folded back slightly. "…Susie."

"They leave," Susie said, voice rising now. "They always leave. Sometimes for work. Sometimes to fight somewhere else. Sometimes because it's easier to not be here."

Noelle's breath caught. "Susie, I didn't mean to-"

"You don't mean to" Susie snapped. "That’s the problem. You don't mean to, but you ask anyway."

She gestured around the kitchen, sharp and accusatory. "This place? This is what happens when no one gives a shit long enough to clean it up."

Noelle's voice shook. "W-Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want your pity." Susie shot back. "Because I didn't want that look."

"What look?"

"That one." Susie said immediately, pointing at her face. "That sad one. Like I'm broken. Like I need saving."

Noelle wiped at her eyes. "I don't think that."

"Yeah." Susie said bitterly. "You do. Everyone does." She turned away again, fists clenched. "They forget I exist half the time. Forget to come home. Forget to check if there's food. I learned real fast not to wait."

Silence.

Noelle whispered. "…That's not fair."

Susie barked a laugh. "Life's not."

She finally looked back at Noelle, jaw tight. "So stop asking. This is just how it is."

Noelle nodded slowly, tears threatening. "O-Okay."

Susie exhaled sharply, grabbing her jacket. "We're leaving."

She didn't apologize. She didn't explain more.

And somehow, that hurt worse than if she had.

---

Berdly's Place

 

Kris woke up warm.

That was the first thing they noticed.

The second thing was that they were not in the guest room. They lay still for a moment, eyes half-open, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling of Berdly's room. Posters. LED lights dimmed to a soft blue. The faint hum of a computer still in sleep mode.

Huh. He must've brought them here then..

They turned their head slightly. Berdly was still asleep.

His wings were loose, feathers no longer held in that constant anxious tension. His glasses sat crooked on the nightstand, one arm folded under them like they’d been dropped rather than placed. His feathers stuck up in a way they couldn't help but silently laugh at.

Kris watched his breathing for a moment. Even. Quiet.

They shifted just enough to be more comfortable, but Berdly stirred immediately.

"…Kris?" He mumbled, voice thick with sleep.

"...Yeah?"

"...We fell asleep."

"Yes."

"…In the same bed."

"Yes."

"…ON PURPOSE?"

"I don't know. You brought me here."

Berdly stared at the wall like it had personally betrayed him. "Okay. That's. That's fine. This is fine. People do this. Sometimes. Accidentally."

Kris sat up more slowly, stretching. "You're spiraling."

"I AM CLARIFYING."

"You're panicking."

Then Berdly sat straight up so fast he nearly fell off the bed.

"I DID NOT PLAN THAT" He blurted. "JUST TO BE CLEAR."

Kris sat up more slowly. "I know."

Berdly rubbed his face, feathers puffing. "Okay. Okay. This is fine. Nothing happened. We slept. Humans and birds sleep. It's normal."

"You're not a bird" Kris said.

"I AM AVIAN-ADJACENT."

Kris smiled faintly.

That didn't help.

---

Getting up

 

They stood up at the same time. Immediately bumped elbows.

"Sorry" Kris said automatically.

"I WAS MOVING FIRST!" Berdly snapped, then sighed. "…Sorry."

They awkwardly shuffled around each other, neither quite sure where to stand. Berdly gestured vaguely toward the door.

"Bathroom's still yours. I already went."

"Thanks." Kris paused. "You okay?"

"Yes" Berdly said, then quieter, "…I think."

Kris nodded and left him alone staring at his own bed.

---

Breakfast 

 

The kitchen smelled like toast and coffee. Berdly's mom stood at the counter, flipping through something on her phone while the kettle heated. She glanced up when they came in.

"Oh, Good morning!" She said easily.

"Morning" Kris replied.

Berdly nodded. "Salutations."

She gestured toward the cupboard. "Cereal's where it always is. I made eggs too, if either of you want some."

"Thank you. Wait- isn't this.. cannibalism for you?" Kris said, reaching for a bowl.

Berdly grabbed two without thinking and slid one over to them. It took him a second to realize what he’d done. "Ahem.. well, no. Do I look like a CHICKEN to you?"

Kris didn't comment. Just accepted it with a small nod. "A little."

They sat down together at the table. The clink of spoons and the low sound of the kettle filled the space. It was quiet, but not awkward. just early.

"Did you sleep okay?" His mom asked, pouring coffee into a mug.

"Yeah. The guest bed's comfortable." Kris said, although they woke up with Berdly in his bed. They don't recall how they got there, but no matter if they might misremember, or if berdly ACTUALLY brought them there, they're perfectly fine with it.

"That's good" She replied. "I'm glad."

Berdly focused on his cereal, listening to the normal sounds of morning. Cabinets opening. A chair scraping softly against the floor.

"Walking to school?" She asked casually.

"Yeah" Berdly said.

"Alright. Don't forget your jacket."

He nodded. "I won't."

She smiled at both of them before turning back to the counter.

After a while, the two of them finished up their breakfast. They proceeded to get ready and head out. Well, after Berdly's mother had embarrassed him some more, just like last night.

---

The walk to school

 

The morning air was cool. Quiet. Berdly walked beside Kris, close enough to feel their presence without touching.

Every so often, Kris glanced at him. Not long. Just checking.

"You tired?" Kris asked.

"A little" Berdly replied. "But that’s normal."

They walked in silence for a bit.

"...I didn't think you'd actually stay over.." Berdly said after a moment. "I mean— not that I didn't want you to. I just—"

"I know" Kris said.

That was it.

No clarification. No reassurance.

Berdly nodded, pretending that was enough.

They're calm, he thought. They're always calm.

He tried not to read into that.

---

School Entrance - Routine

 

The school doors opened with their usual dull creak.

Berdly stepped inside beside Kris, the noise of lockers and voices washing over them immediately. Nothing felt off. It was just another morning.

"Hey.." Kris said, adjusting their bag. "I'm gonna—"

"—Susie." Berdly finished.

Kris nodded. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah" Berdly said. "Later."

They split off naturally, Kris weaving through the hallway without hesitation. Berdly watched them go for half a second before shaking his head and turning the other way.

---

With Susie and Kris

 

Susie tossed her empty chip bag into the trash and leaned back against the lockers again, arms crossed. The hallway buzzed around them, chairs scraping in classrooms, someone laughing too loud down the hall, the faint squeal of sneakers on tile.

 

"So" Susie said, casual like she wasn't already watching Kris out of the corner of her eye. "You stayed at Berdly's?"

Kris shrugged. "Yeah."

"Huh." Susie tilted her head. "That's new."

Kris adjusted the strap of their bag. "It was late, okay?"

"Mm." Susie nodded slowly. "You sleep okay?"

"Yeah."

Susie squinted. "You say that like it didn't matter."

Kris thought for a second. "It didn't not matter."

Susie barked out a laugh. "God, you're annoying."

They stood there a moment, comfortable.

"…You worried about him?" Susie asked, quieter.

Kris glanced down the hall, where Berdly had disappeared earlier. "A little."

"Figures." Susie shrugged. "He overthinks. A lot."

"I know."

Susie pushed off the lockers. "Just... don't let him do the thing where he makes himself miserable without telling anyone."

Kris met her eyes. "I won't."

Susie nodded once, satisfied. "Good. 'Cause I don't wanna deal with his weird bird breakdowns."

Kris smiled faintly. "You'd handle it."

"Yeah." Susie said. "With yelling."

"...Hey, Susie?"

"Yes?"

"..You okay?"

"...Nah man."

---

With Berdly and Noelle

 

Noelle finally managed to shut her locker, hugging her books to her chest as Berdly stood nearby, shifting his weight from foot to foot. (Or well, talon to talon.)

"So.. um… did you and Kris get home okay?" Noelle asked, still feeling shaken from her earlier conversation with Susie.

"Yes" Berdly replied. "My mother insisted on walking us to the door. For… reasons."

Noelle giggled softly. "She seems nice."

"She is." Berdly said. "In a very… observant way."

A comfortable silence fell between them for a moment.

"Noelle. Everything alright?"

Berdly asked as they walked slowly down the hall together, careful not to bump into anyone.

"…Yes i am!" Noelle lied. "Are you excited for class today?"

Berdly hesitated. He didn't want to pry, but something felt off. "Academically? Yes. Socially? Unclear."

Noelle smiled. "That sounds about right."

"..You know you can always come to me if anything's up right?"

"I know. Thank you..."

He adjusted his glasses. "…Of course. Um... You and Susie seem comfortable lately."

Noelle's ears folded back slightly. "Oh- yeah. We are."

"That's good." He said, earnest. "You deserve that."

She glanced at him. "You do too."

Berdly laughed, short and awkward. "Ah. Well. That's… pending."

Noelle stopped walking for a second. "You know, it's okay to not know what something means yet."

He looked at her, surprised.

"I mean" She continued softly "You don't have to decide anything right away."

Berdly nodded slowly. "…Thank you."

She smiled. "Anytime."

The bell rang, sharp and sudden.

"Oh!" Noelle said. "We should—"

"Yes." Berdly replied. "Class."

They both walked to class in silence.

A comfortable silence.

Notes:

I'll add more chapters tomorrow. I'm tired. Hope you guys enjoyed :)

Chapter 4: The project

Chairs scraped. Chalk dust hung in the air like static. The kind of day that should've been forgettable, if not for the weight everyone carried into it.

Kris sat in silence, one foot hooked around the chair leg, pen moving steadily across the page. Susie sat behind them slouched so far down she looked half-asleep.

"You got a pencil?" She muttered without looking.

Kris slid one across the desk. "Thanks."

They worked in silence after that, broken only by Ms Alphys's voice and the occasional kick to the back of Kris's chair when Susie got bored.

Berdly sat in his chair, his posture perfect. Too perfect. He raised his hand often, voice confident, answers precise. But every time he finished speaking, his gaze flicked toward Kris.

’Focus’ He told himself. ’This is easy.’

It wasn't.

---

Between Classes

 

The halls flooded between periods.

Kris and Berdly passed each other. They slowed, almost stopped.

"Salutations." Berdly said.

"Hey..."

That was it.

The crowd swallowed them in opposite directions before either could say more.

Noelle walked beside Susie through the main hallway, her steps quieter than usual. Susie kept her hands shoved deep into her pockets, shoulders tense.

"…You okay?" Noelle asked softly.

Susie shrugged. "I'm fine."

Noelle didn't push. Not yet.

---

The classroom settled into a different kind of noise once the assignment was announced.

Not the structured quiet of lectures, but the low, uneven murmur of students dragging desks together, arguing over who had which notes, chairs scraping against the floor in uneven rhythms. The teacher finished explaining the project, local history, primary sources, presentation due next week, then waved them off with a distracted reminder to "use your time wisely."

Kris barely reacted. They were already turning their chair, aligning it with the others.

Susie dropped into the seat beside them with a dull thump, stretching her arms over her head. "Group work." she muttered. "My favorite."

Noelle smiled nervously and scooted her chair closer, clutching her notebook like a shield. "I think it'll be okay…! I mean, it's just research."

Berdly had already opened his binder.

"Correction," he said, pushing his glasses up. "It's a collaborative analysis of Hometown's post-industrial development through firsthand accounts. Which means if we divide the labor efficiently, this will be painless."

Susie snorted. "Wow. You made it sound worse."

Berdly ignored that and flipped to a clean page

"Alright. Roles. We'll need someone to handle sourcing, someone for synthesis, someone for presentation visuals, and someone for—"

"I'll do whatever," Susie interrupted. "Just don't make me talk in front of the class."

Berdly paused. "…That severely limits your usefulness."

Susie leaned forward, baring her teeth in a grin that wasn't friendly. "Try again."

Kris cleared their throat quietly. "I can present..."

Everyone looked at them.

Susie blinked. "Wait. You? You barely know how to speak at a normal volume."

Kris shifted uncomfortably, forcing the next words out. "Oh- uh.. yeah.. but, I don't mind."

Noelle's eyes lit up. "Th-That would be great, Kris. Thank you."

Berdly hesitated, then nodded slowly. "Alright. Acceptable. You're… surprisingly good at explaining things."

"Backhanded" Susie said.

"Accurate," Berdly replied.

They settled into it after that. 

---

Books were dragged into the center of their cluster. Noelle opened her notebook, flipping to a page already neatly divided into sections. Susie leaned over it immediately, squinting.

"Damn." She said. "You planned this."

Noelle flushed. "I-I just thought it might help!"

"It does" Kris said simply. That made Noelle smile.

Berdly leaned closer too, pointing at one of the headings. “We should focus on the……"

As they worked, the rhythm settled in. Noelle read aloud softly from a textbook, stumbling occasionally over longer words. Susie interrupted with blunt questions that somehow cut to the point faster than expected. Kris summarized when things got tangled. Berdly filled in gaps with precise dates and terminology.

It should've felt efficient.

Instead, Berdly found himself distracted.

Kris leaned in when they spoke, voice low so it didn’t carry across the room. Their shoulder brushed Susie's once, then his, just barely. Each time, Berdly felt it like static under his skin.

He told himself to focus.

"…So we can compare firsthand interviews with newspaper accounts" Noelle was saying. "That way we can show how people felt about it."

"That's subjective." Berdly said automatically.

"That's the point" Kris replied. "History isn't just numbers."

Berdly paused.

"…True..." He admitted. "But we should be careful not to editorialize."

Susie rolled her eyes. "Dude, it's a school project, not a documentary."

Berdly opened his mouth to argue, then stopped.

"…Fine, but we'll phrase it carefully."

Kris met his eyes briefly, a quiet acknowledgment. That look lingered longer than it should have.

Across the table, Noelle noticed Susie hadn't written anything yet.

"Um..." She said gently. "Do you want to take notes too?"

Susie shrugged. "You're doing fine."

Noelle hesitated. "I don't want to do everything myself. ...not again"

"…Right. Sorry."

She grabbed a pen and started scribbling, her handwriting messy but determined. Noelle watched her for a moment, relief softening her shoulders.

Berdly caught that too.

They're so… settled, he thought. Even when it's awkward.

Kris leaned back slightly, stretching their arms. "We should decide who's doing what part."

"Yes" Berdly said, grateful for the structure. "I'll compile the dates and primary sources. Noelle can handle the interviews and personal accounts. Susie—"

"—can do visuals" Susie finished. "Posters, slides, whatever."

Berdly blinked. "Really?"

She shrugged. "I'm good at making stuff look cool."

"That's… acceptable." He said after a beat.

Kris smiled faintly. "I'll put it together and—" they choked for a moment. "And... present."

They all nodded. For a moment, things felt almost normal. Then the silence crept back in.

Berdly noticed Kris glancing toward Susie and Noelle when they laughed together. Not lingering, just checking. The same way they checked on him earlier.

They do that with everyone, he reminded himself.

It didn't stop the slow, uncomfortable twist in his chest.

"…Hey," He said suddenly, too fast. "About the festival."

Kris looked up. "Yeah?"

Berdly hesitated. Susie and Noelle both paused, turning slightly.

"…Never mind" Berdly said. "Focus."

Susie narrowed her eyes. "You don't say ‘about the festival’ and then bail. C'mon. Spill."

Berdly's feathers puffed slightly. "It's irrelevant."

Kris tilted their head. "It doesn't have to be."

Noelle looked between them, confused but curious.

Berdly swallowed. "…I just meant— we could reference it. Community events. As part of modern culture..."

"Oh" Noelle said. "That could work."

Susie snorted. "Wow. That was lame."

Berdly slumped slightly. "I am aware."

Kris didn't laugh. They just nodded.

"We can add it."

That was somehow worse.

---

They worked until the bell rang, the project slowly taking shape between them. By the end, their table was covered in notes, diagrams, and half-finished ideas.

Susie cracked her knuckles. "Okay. That wasn't terrible."

Noelle smiled. "I think we're doing really well."

Berdly gathered his papers carefully. "Yes. This is… acceptable progress."

Kris stood, slinging their bag over their shoulder. "We should meet again."

The words hung there.

"Yeah." Susie said. "Probably."

Noelle nodded eagerly. "Y-Yeah! Definitely!"

Berdly hesitated for half a second. "…Agreed"

They filed out together when the bell rang. Still a group. Still unfinished.

---

The final bell rang like a release that didn't quite take.

Chairs scraped back. Papers were stuffed into bags. The classroom emptied in uneven waves, noise echoing down the halls as students poured out toward lockers and exits.

Kris lingered.

They always did.

Susie stretched, cracking her knuckles. "Alright. Project didn't suck. That’s a win."

Noelle nodded, hugging her notebook to her chest. "I think we're really close to finishing the outline."

Berdly gathered his things with precise care, stacking papers, adjusting his glasses. He hesitated, then cleared his throat.

"…I won't be able to meet after school today," He said. "I have a shift at the librarby. Ms. Boom scheduled me last minute."

"Oh," Noelle said. "That's okay!"

Susie shrugged. "Yeah. Nerd duties."

Berdly nodded stiffly. "…Yes. Precisely."

He glanced at Kris. "I'll— see you tomorrow. .... right?"

"...Yeah" Kris said. "Good luck..."

Berdly hesitated like he wanted to say something else.

He didn't. Instead, he turned and headed down the hall, posture straight, already half-lost in thought.

Noelle watched him go. "He seems… tired."

Susie scoffed. "He's always like that."

Kris didn't respond.

They split outside the school.

Noelle waved before heading off with Susie, their voices fading as they walked. Kris stood there for a moment longer, backpack slung over one shoulder, watching the street.

The air felt heavy. Presentation, the thought came unbidden.

Their chest tightened.

The project. The talking. Standing in front of people. Words sticking in their throat while something else pulled the strings.

’I said I'd present.’

They started walking.

Chapter 5: Quiet Isn't Peace

Summary:

!! CW !!

Click to reveal CW and spoiler.

Self-harm

The house was empty when Kris got home. Toriel wouldn't be back for a while. They dropped their bag by the door and kicked off their shoes, the familiar quiet wrapping around them like a blanket that didn't quite warm.

They went to their room. Sat on the edge of the bed. Stared at the floor.

The thought looped again.

You agreed.

Their hands curled into fists.

"No..." Kris whispered. The pressure came anyway. That familiar, invasive pull. Not pain, not exactly, but a force tightening around their chest, their spine, their thoughts. Like hands on invisible strings.

Stand up.

They didn't want to.

Move.

Their body responded before they could stop it.

Kris's breath hitched.

"Stop." They said aloud, voice shaking. The presence didn't answer.

It never did.

Images flickered behind their eyes: the classroom, the attention, the way words disappeared when they needed them most. The feeling of being watched. Judged. Controlled.

The presence didn't care.

Images flooded in without permission. The classroom, rows of faces, the sound of their own voice failing them, the feeling of being watched while their mouth refused to move. The memory of standing there, frozen, while something else decided when they spoke.

"I can't do this."

Their hands trembled.

"I won't."

The pressure didn't ease.

It pushed.

---

Kris stumbled into the bathroom and shut the door harder than intended. They leaned against it, sliding down until they were sitting on the floor.

Their breathing came fast and shallow.

"Please..." They whispered, not sure who they were even talking to. "Please."

There was no response.

Just the weight.

The need to make it stop.

Their thoughts fractured. not a plan, not intent, just an overwhelming need for relief, for something tangible they could control when everything else was being taken from them.

Their nails dug into their palms.

The pressure spiked.

Kris acted.

Unfocused.

They didn't look.

They didn't think.

Their body jerked up, as if they were meant to do this. They yanked open the bathroom drawer, shaking violently as they rummage through it. There it is. They desperately reach in and started to attempt to disassemble the razor they had previously intended to use for shaving. Most of the time.

This wasn't new.

Yet still so scary.

They gasped when the thin stainless steel blade fell onto the countertop.

They shouldn't waste more time. Their mom will be home soon...

They worked on their body, dragging the thin razor across the skin of their arms. It had been so long since they had last felt this. The stinging pain. The burn. The... Feeling of control.

They hated this.

Their arm hastily moved, each cut more painful than the previous. They couldn't stop. Why should they? Those months of progress had already been ruined.

They watch their arm. Their pupils shake so violently they can't focus anymore. All that they can make out is a big red blur. Seeing their blood makes them sick to their stomach.

They failed.

Again.

Kris sat there, shaking.

The guilt hit.

Harder and harder.

They pressed their forehead to their knees, arms wrapped around themselves, smearing blood onto themselves.

"I'm sorry..." They whispered. "I'm so sorry."

To who, they didn't know.

---

After — Numb

 

Time passed.

They cleaned up quietly, mechanically, like they were watching someone else do it. Their reflection in the mirror looked distant. Hollow-eyed. Kris avoided looking too closely.

They changed clothes, sat back on their bed.

The room felt too big.

Their phone buzzed.

A message.

 

Berdly:

Library's dead. Ms. Boom fell asleep at the desk.

I may perish of boredom.

 

Kris stared at the screen.

Their hands hovered over the keyboard. They typed. Deleted. Typed again.

 

Kris:

lol

good luck

 

It felt fake.

They set the phone down face-first. Their chest ached.

---

Evening — Holding Together

 

When Toriel got home, Kris was already in the living room, homework open, TV on low.

"Hello, my child!" She said brightly. "How was school?"

"Fine" Kris replied.

She smiled. "Dinner will be ready soon, alright?"

"Okay."

They didn't look up.

Toriel didn't notice.

Or maybe she did and chose not to push.

Either way, Kris stayed still until she left the room.

They just have to lay down. That might help. They decided to just get up and head for the stairs.

"Sweetie?"

Kris paused, looking over at their mother.

"Yes?"

"Where are you going?"

"Just.. to bed."

And just like that, they left, not giving Toriel time to answer.

---

Later

How much later, they weren't sure.

 

The door creaked open.

Soft footsteps. Careful.

Toriel's voice floated in from the hall. "My child?"

They didn't answer.

She peeked in anyway, gentle as always. The light from the hallway spilled across the floor, stopping just short of the bed again.

"Kris..." She said quietly. "Dinner's ready. If you're hungry..."

"I'm not." They replied, voice flat but steady enough to pass. How could they be hungry after all of that?

A pause.

"…Alright." She said. "I'll save you some."

The door closed. The light disappeared.

They exhaled shakily.

She didn't notice, they thought. Relief and guilt tangled together until they couldn't tell which one hurt more.

---

Night

 

Later, alone again, Kris laid on their bed staring at the ceiling. The relief was gone. What remained was exhaustion. Fear. The knowledge that the control hadn't disappeared. Just paused.

’Next time,’ they thought. ’It'll happen again.’

Their phone buzzed once more.

 

Noelle:

Are you okay? You seemed quiet earlier.

 

Kris swallowed.

Their fingers hovered.

 

Kris:

yeah

just tired

 

Noelle:

Are you sure?

Kris?

I'm worried about you

 

They looked at their phone, sighing. Why does she care so much?

They rolled onto their side, curling inward. The room was dark. Quiet.

They didn't sleep right away.

And when they finally did, it wasn't peaceful.

Chapter 6: Quiet Damage

Kris woke up before the alarm.

They always did after nights like that.

For a moment, they didn't move. The ceiling above them was familiar, cracked faintly near the corner, the light from outside just beginning to shift from gray to pale gold. Their body felt heavy, like gravity had been turned up while they slept.

They breathed in.

Out.

Everything felt… muted. Not calm. Just distant. They turned their head slightly, eyes drifting to the edge of the bed. Their hands rested where they'd fallen asleep, fingers curled loosely, like they'd forgotten what they were holding onto.

It happened, they thought.

The memory didn't rush back all at once. It never did. It came in fragments. pressure, fear, the sense of being pulled somewhere they didn't want to go. The aftermath lingered more than the moment itself. A soreness behind the eyes. A tightness in the chest that hadn't fully eased.

Kris sat up slowly.

The room didn't spin, but it felt unreal, like they were slightly out of sync with everything around them. They rubbed their face with both hands, grounding themself in the texture of their skin, the warmth still lingering from sleep.

"Okay..." They murmured to no one.

They stood up, changed, moved through their morning routine on autopilot. Brushed their teeth. Washed their face. Avoided the mirror for longer than necessary. Every step was careful, measured, like if they moved too fast something might snap. By the time they left their room, Toriel was already in the kitchen.

"Good morning, my child!" She said brightly.

"Morning" Kris replied.

She glanced at them, her smile softening just a little. "Did you sleep alright?"

"Yeah."

It was automatic. Easy.

She didn't push. Just set a plate on the table and poured them a glass of juice. Kris ate quietly, nodding when appropriate, responding when spoken to. They kept it together long enough to leave the house.

Long enough to walk to school.

Long enough to get through the morning classes.

---

Susie's Place — Waiting Tension

 

Susie's house felt different in the daylight.

The harsh edges of the night before hadn't disappeared, but they'd dulled into something heavier, more persistent. Sunlight filtered in through the blinds, illuminating dust motes in the air. The living room was quiet, the kind of quiet that felt practiced.

Susie sat on the floor with her back against the couch, her old dirty sneakers kicked off nearby. Noelle sat beside her, knees pulled to her chest, hands folded neatly in her lap.

They'd been there for a while. Neither of them had turned the TV on.

"...Kris didn't text me back." Noelle said softly.

Susie glanced at her. "Maybe they're busy?"

"Maybe." Noelle echoed, unconvinced. She traced the edge of her sleeve with her thumb, worry etched into every small movement. "They seemed… off yesterday. More than usual."

Susie huffed. "Kris is always weird."

"I know" Noelle said quickly. "I mean— not like that. I mean… quiet in a different way."

Susie leaned her head back against the couch, staring at the ceiling. "Yeah. I noticed."

They sat with that for a moment.

"…Do you think it's the project?" Noelle asked.

"Maybe" Susie said. "Public speaking freaks them out."

Noelle nodded. "They didn't have to volunteer..."

"They did anyway" Susie muttered. "That's kinda their thing. Taking stuff on and not saying when it sucks."

Noelle's voice dropped. "I'm worried..."

"...Me too."

---

The school day was long and quiet. There wasn't much time at school where there was an opportunity to work on the project, so everyone agreed on working at Noelle's house.

The knock came mid-afternoon.

Susie stood immediately. "That's them."

Noelle followed her to the door.

Kris stood on the porch with Berdly beside them, both holding folders stuffed with notes. Berdly looked tired but alert. Kris looked… fine, at first glance.

"Hey" Susie said.

"Hey" Kris replied casually.

Noelle smiled, relieved. "Hi! Come in."

They settled in the living room, spreading papers across the coffee table. Berdly immediately began organizing them into neat piles, mumbling under his breath about structure and timing.

"So," Susie said, dropping onto the couch. "Let's run through it."

Kris stiffened almost imperceptibly. "Now?"

"Yeah," Susie said. "Might as well."

Noelle nodded eagerly. "We can just practice together. No pressure."

The words landed wrong.

Kris swallowed. "Okay."

---

They began. At first, it was manageable. Berdly explained the opening points, confident and precise. Noelle filled in details, voice soft but steady. Susie chimed in with blunt clarifications that somehow helped.

Then it was Kris's turn.

They opened their mouth.

Nothing came out.

"…Kris?" Noelle prompted gently.

Kris tried again. "So— um."

Their chest tightened.

Susie frowned. "You good?"

"Y-yeah-" Kris said quickly. "Just— one sec."

They forced the words out, one sentence at a time. Their voice sounded wrong to their own ears, too loud and too quiet at once. They could feel all three of them watching, waiting.

Say it right, something inside them urged. Don't mess this up.

Berdly leaned forward slightly. "You can project more. The introduction needs confidence."

That did it.

The room felt smaller.

Their breath caught halfway in.

"I—" Kris started, then stopped. Their hands began to shake.

Noelle noticed it first. "Kris…?"

The walls felt like they were closing in. The noise in their head spiked, thoughts colliding and overlapping. Too many eyes, too many expectations, too much.

"I need—" Kris gasped.

They couldn't finish.

Their breathing went shallow, fast. The air refused to go where it was supposed to. Their vision blurred at the edges, like the world was pulling away from them.

Susie stood. "Whoa. Hey."

Kris pressed their hands to their chest, trying to slow their breathing. It didn't work.

"I can't," They choked. "I can't— I'm sorry, I—"

Noelle reached out, hesitating just short of touching them. "It's okay. You don't have to—"

Kris shook their head, backing away. The room felt wrong. Unsafe. Too full.

Berdly was on his feet immediately.

"Okay," He said, voice firm but controlled. "That's enough."

He stepped between Kris and the others without thinking. "We're stopping. At least for now."

Susie looked startled. "Berdly—"

"They need air," He said. "Now."

Kris's breathing bordered on sobs now, body trembling. They couldn't focus on anything but the overwhelming sensation that they were losing control again.

Berdly gently took Kris's wrist. They winced at the sudden grab of their wrist, pain shooting through their entire arm as they're reminded of the night before. Luckily nobody seemed to notice.

"Hey. Come on. We're going."

Kris didn't argue. They barely even registered Susie calling their name as Berdly guided them out the door.

---

The outside air hit Kris like a shock.

They sucked in a breath that burned their lungs, then another. Their knees threatened to give out.

"Okay..." Berdly said quietly, steering them down the steps. "Keep breathing. In through your nose. Out through your mouth."

"I'm sorry..." Kris gasped. "I messed it up."

"You didn't." Berdly said immediately. "You didn't mess up anything."

They walked. Slowly at first, then faster, putting distance between them and the house.

Berdly didn't let go until Kris's breathing began to even out, until the shaking subsided into something manageable.

"…My house." He said. "Let's go there."

Kris nodded weakly. They didn't trust their voice yet.

As they walked, Berdly stayed close but didn't crowd them, matching their pace exactly. He didn't ask questions. Didn't demand explanations.

Just stayed.

By the time his house came into view, Kris felt wrung out. Exhausted. Hollow.

But still standing.

---

Berdly's House

 

Berdly didn't say much once they reached his house. He unlocked the door, ushered Kris inside, and closed it behind them with a soft click that felt louder than it should've. The house smelled faintly like cleaning spray and something warm. toast, maybe. Or coffee.

"Um," Berdly said, adjusting his glasses. "You can— sit. Or… whatever."

Kris nodded, drifting into the living room like they weren't entirely sure their legs belonged to them anymore. They sat on the edge of the couch, elbows on their knees, staring at the carpet.

Their hands wouldn't stop shaking.

Berdly hovered for a moment, unsure, then cleared his throat. "I'll get you water."

He went and returned quickly, pressing the glass into Kris's hands. Their fingers brushed.

"Thanks..." Kris murmured.

They drank slowly. Too fast made their chest tight again. They focused on the sensation, the coolness of the glass, the weight of it, the way swallowing anchored them in their body.

Berdly sat in the armchair across from them, posture stiff but eyes never leaving Kris.

"…You don't have to explain..." He said after a moment. "Just— just so you know."

Kris nodded.

They didn't trust themselves to speak yet.

Minutes passed. The clock ticked. The quiet stretched. not awkward, just… present. Eventually, Kris leaned back against the couch cushions, exhaustion settling into their bones. The adrenaline faded, leaving behind something hollow and sore.

"I hate that." They said quietly.

Berdly blinked. "Hate what?"

"When it happens." Kris said. "When people look at me like that."

Berdly frowned. "Like what?"

"Like I'm breaking."

The word lingered between them.

"You weren't." Berdly said, more firmly than before. "You were overwhelmed. That's not the same thing."

Kris gave a small, humorless smile. "Feels like it is."

Berdly opened his beak, then closed it. He didn't argue. Instead, he shifted closer, still careful, still giving space.

"...You did the right thing." He said. "Leaving, I mean."

Kris looked at him.

"You noticed before I did" They said. "You got me out."

Berdly flushed faintly. "Well. Obviously. Any competent teammate would—"

"Thank you..." Kris said, interrupting gently.

Berdly froze.

Then he looked away. "…You're welcome."

---

The sound of a door opening cut through the room.

"Oh— Berdly? Is that you?"

Berdly stiffened. "Yes, Mother."

Berdly's mother appeared in the doorway, already halfway into a polite smile that faltered when she saw Kris.

"Oh," she said softly. "Hello, dear..."

Kris straightened instinctively. "Hi."

Her gaze flicked between them, taking in Kris's posture, their pale face, the untouched water glass still clutched in their hands.

"…Are you alright?" She asked.

Kris hesitated.

Berdly answered before they could. "They just needed somewhere quiet."

His mother studied them for another moment. Then she nodded. "Of course. You're welcome to stay as long as you need."

"Thank you." Kris said.

She smiled gently, but there was something sad in it. Something knowing.

"I'll put some tea on," She said. "Chamomile helps settle nerves."

She didn't wait for an answer.

When she was gone, Berdly exhaled sharply. "Sorry about that."

"It's fine..." Kris said. "She's nice."

"Yes," Berdly said, then quieter, "Sometimes too perceptive."

They sat in silence again until Berdly's mother returned, setting a mug on the table in front of Kris.

"No pressure," She said. "Just in case."

Kris wrapped their hands around the mug. The warmth seeped into their palms.

"…You're shaking..." She added gently.

Kris nodded.

She didn't ask why. Instead, she rested a hand briefly on Berdly's shoulder.

"Be kind to yourself." She said, though it felt like it was meant for both of them.

’Be kind to yourself’. Hearing that after last night stung them, reminding them of all they've done to themself.

She left them alone again.

Berdly stared at the floor. "...She worries."

Kris glanced at him. "About you?"

"…About everyone." He said.

---

Noelle's house

 

Susie knew something was wrong the moment the door closed behind Kris and Berdly.

They didn't come back.

Noelle stood frozen by the couch, hands clasped tight. "I didn't mean to—"

"I know." Susie said quickly, putting her hand on Noelle's. "You didn't."

But the guilt sat heavy anyway.

They cleaned up the project materials in silence. Noelle stacked papers carefully, like order might fix what they'd just watched unravel.

"…Do you think they're okay?" Noelle asked.

"Kris doesn't freak out for no reason."

Noelle swallowed. "We should've stopped."

"Hey," Susie said, sharper than intended. She softened her tone. "We didn't know."

Noelle nodded, eyes glossy. "Still."

---

Later, Susie texted.

 

Susie:

u good?

 

No response.

Another message, ten minutes later.

 

Susie:

seriously. text me back.

 

Nothing.

She growled under her breath and shoved her phone into her pocket.

---

Evening — Berdly's house

 

 

Kris stayed at Berdly's longer than planned.

By the time the sun dipped low, the house glowed warm with lamplight. Kris felt steadier, but raw, like their nerves had been scraped bare.

Berdly offered to let them stay for dinner. They accepted.

Berdly's mother asked gentle questions. Neutral ones. School. Homework. The project. She didn't pry, but her concern lingered like a low hum.

Afterward, Berdly walked Kris home.

The sky had turned deep blue by the time they reached Kris's house.

"…Text me" Berdly said, awkwardly shifting his weight. "If— if you need help with the presentation, I mean."

Kris smiled faintly. "Okay."

They hesitated. Then hugged him.

"…Thanks for today."

Berdly froze in place, standing still for a second before wrapping his wings around Kris. "Anytime."

They both pull away, even when they don't want to let go.

"..See you tomorrow, Kris?"

"See you tomorrow."

Chapter 7: The words that don't come out

School — The next day

 

The next morning Susie cornered Kris by their locker.

"What happened?" She demanded.

Kris froze.

"...I panicked." They said finally.

Susie frowned. "That's it?"

Kris met her eyes. "That's enough."

Susie clenched her fists, then sighed hard. "…You scared us."

"I'm sorry."

Noelle hovered nearby, wringing her hands. "We just... want to help."

Kris nodded. "I know."

They meant it.

They just didn't know how to let them.

They fell into step together, moving toward their first class. Susie talked about something dumb she'd seen online. Noelle laughed too hard at it. Kris listened, nodding at the right moments, offering a dry comment here and there.

It felt… fine.

Not better. Just fine.

Berdly caught up to them near the corner, nearly tripping over his own feet.

"Ah! There you all are." He said, pushing his glasses up. "Excellent timing. I've refined the project outline."

Susie groaned. "It's eight in the morning."

"And knowledge waits for no one." Berdly replied smugly.

Kris glanced at him.

"Morning," they said.

Berdly paused for half a second. "…Good morning."

Their eyes met briefly. Nothing dramatic. Just an unspoken ’you okay?’ and an equally quiet ’yeah’ in return.

Class went by in manageable chunks. In history, the four of them clustered together again, desks dragged into a loose square. Papers were spread out, notes scribbled in margins, Berdly already halfway into a lecture before anyone officially asked for it.

"So if we structure it like a debate," Berdly said, tapping his pen, "we can alternate speakers and maintain engagement."

"Or," Susie said, resting her chin in her hands, "we just don't bore everyone to death?"

"That is not a strategy."

"It's worked for me my whole life."

Noelle smiled nervously. "M-Maybe a mix of both?"

Kris nodded. "Short sections. Keep it moving."

Berdly looked between them, then sighed dramatically. "Fine. Compromise. But I will be timing everyone."

"Of course you will" Susie muttered.

They worked like that for most of the period, half joking, half serious. Susie complained loudly but still contributed. Noelle filled in gaps with quiet precision. Berdly corrected things no one asked him to correct. Kris organized everything into something that actually made sense.

At one point, Berdly leaned over Kris's notes.

"…Your handwriting is better than I remember." He said.

Kris blinked. "Thanks?"

Berdly coughed. "I mean— it’s legible. Which is statistically impressive."

Susie snorted. "Wow. High praise."

Kris smiled despite themself.

Lunch came and went. They sat together again, eating lunch, complaining about homework, pretending yesterday hadn't cracked something open. Every so often, Kris would feel it. An echo of pressure, a flicker of unease, but it never fully took hold.

Berdly kept things light on purpose.

"So," he said around a mouthful of food, "if we absolutely had to assign MVP status for this project—"

"No." Susie said immediately.

"I haven't finished."

"No."

"—it would obviously be—"

"No."

"—me."

Kris raised an eyebrow. "Bold."

"Accurate."

Noelle giggled. "You're impossible."

"Thank you."

---

By the end of the day, their project was more or less done.

They packed up near the lockers again, classmates poured out around them, energy shifting from obligation to freedom.

"Well," Susie said, slinging her bag over her shoulder, "I'm out."

Noelle nodded. "M-Me too. I'll text you later?"

"Yeah." Susie said. "Later."

They lingered for a second, then Noelle waved and followed Susie toward the exit.

That left Kris and Berdly standing there.

"…So," Berdly said, suddenly very interested in adjusting his sleeves. "We should probably... uh... go over the presentation again."

Kris tilted their head. "Today?"

"Yes. For preparedness."

"Preparedness," Kris echoed.

"…And also," Berdly added quickly, "as a distraction."

Kris considered that. The thought of going home alone didn't appeal to them.

"Okay," they said. "Yeah. Let's hang out."

Berdly straightened. "Excellent. My house?"

"Sure."

They walked out together, the school doors closing behind them.

---

Distraction Protocol — After School

 

Berdly's room was exactly what Kris remembered, and somehow still overwhelming.

Posters covered the walls. Games, tournaments, characters in dramatic poses. A bookshelf sagged under the weight of strategy guides and old consoles. His desk was cluttered but meticulously organized, cables tied neatly, controllers lined up like they were on display.

"Uh... My apologies for the mess." Berdly said automatically, even though it clearly wasn't THAT messy. "You can sit wherever."

Kris dropped onto the edge of the bed.

Berdly powered on the TV, the familiar startup sound filling the room. "Gaming," he declared, "Is a scientifically proven method of stress relief."

"Is it?" Kris asked.

"It is when I'm playing."

Kris huffed a small laugh.

Berdly handed them a controller. "Mario Kart first. Classic. I'll go easy on you."

"Going easy on me?" Kris repeated. "You?"

"I will be merciful." Berdly said, already selecting his character.

"You never are."

"Today is a special occasion."

The race started.

Within seconds, Berdly was already trash-talking.

"Oh no," he said, watching his character pull ahead. "It appears skill is triumphing once again."

Kris focused, drifting cleanly around a corner. "Don't get comfortable."

They launched a shell.

It hit.

Berdly yelped. "HEY—"

Kris laughed, actually laughed, and felt something in their chest loosen.

They played like that for a while. Races blurred together. Wins were stolen at the last second. Berdly complained loudly every time. Kris learned exactly when to sabotage him.

"Targeting." Berdly accused. "Unfair targeting."

"You started it." Kris said calmly.

"That was banter."

They switched games after a bit, something slower, more cooperative. A platformer that required timing and communication.

"Okay," Berdly said, suddenly serious. "We need to synchronize."

"On three," Kris said.

They jumped.

Missed.

Berdly groaned. "Again."

They tried again. Failed again.

"…This is harder than it looks," Kris admitted.

"Yes," Berdly said. "Teamwork is— wait. Did you just admit difficulty?"

Kris glanced at him. "Don't get used to it."

They succeeded on the next try.

Berdly pumped his fist. "YES. See? Perfect coordination."

Kris leaned back against the bed, controller resting loosely in their hands. The distraction worked.

Mostly.

---

The game had been paused for a while before either of them noticed.

The screen glowed softly, menu music looping in the background, cheerful in a way that felt almost inappropriate now. Berdly sat cross-legged at the foot of his bed, controller resting in his lap. Kris leaned back against the headboard, knees pulled up, staring at nothing in particular.

The room was quiet.

Not uncomfortable. Just… heavy.

Berdly was the one who broke it.

"…You've been doing that thing." He said.

Kris blinked. "What thing?"

"That thing where you stop talking but your brain clearly hasn't shut up." Berdly replied. "You get this look. Like you're solving a problem that doesn't want to be solved."

Kris huffed a weak, almost-smile. "Didn't know it was that obvious."

"It is" Berdly said. "To me."

That made Kris look at him.

Berdly didn't meet their eyes right away. He picked at the edge of the controller, thumb rubbing over a scuffed button.

"…You don't have to tell me anything." He added quickly. "I'm not... interrogating you. I just—"

He exhaled.

"I can tell you're not okay."

Kris swallowed.

They stared at their hands. Their fingers were still, but it felt like something inside them was vibrating, like tension pulled too tight.

"…I don't know how to talk about it." They said quietly.

Berdly nodded once. "That's fine."

Kris let out a breath they hadn't realized they were holding. "I mean— it's not that I don't want to. I just... every time I try, it feels like I'm doing it wrong. Like I'll say the wrong thing and then it'll… stick."

"Stick how?"

"Like people won't be able to unhear it." Kris said. "And then it'll be real."

Berdly shifted, turning to face them more fully. "It already is real."

Kris's throat tightened.

"…That's the problem."

Silence stretched again. This one was sharper.

After a moment, Berdly spoke more softly. "You don't have to be eloquent. You don't have to explain it perfectly. You can just... say things as they are."

Kris laughed weakly. "I don't even know what that looks like."

"Then we find out." Berdly said. "Together. No audience. No grades."

Kris hesitated.

Then nodded.

They took a breath.

And another.

"When I think about… presenting," Kris said slowly, "it's not just stage fright. It's not just nerves. It's—" They paused, fingers curling into the fabric of their sleeve. "It feels like being cornered."

"Cornered?"

"Like there's nowhere to go" Kris said. "Everyone's looking at you, waiting. And you can feel time passing and you know you're supposed to do something, say something, but your body just… doesn't"

Their voice wavered, just a little.

"It's like my mouth forgets how to work. Or— no. Worse. Like it knows how to work and refuses."

Berdly's jaw tightened.

"That sounds awful." He said quietly.

"It is."

They shifted, hugging their knees closer. "And it's not just presentations. It's… other stuff too. Stuff that should be easy."

"Like what?"

Kris hesitated again.

"Like saying no." They said. "Or saying I'm not okay. Or saying I need help."

Berdly opened his beak, then closed it, letting them continue.

Kris seemed to notice. "..You wanted to say something?"

"No. Go on."

"Okay. I get this feeling" Kris said. "Like I'm on a track. Like something's already decided where I'm going and all I can do is… move forward."

Their hands trembled now. They didn't notice at first.

"And sometimes I try to stop," they went on. "I try really hard. But the harder I push, the worse it feels. Like I'm fighting against myself."

Berdly watched them closely. "Kris."

Kris inhaled sharply. "I don't feel like I own myself all the time."

The words landed heavy.

Berdly didn't interrupt.

"I know that sounds stupid," Kris added quickly. "Or dramatic. But it's... it's real to me. There are moments where I'm just… watching. Like I'm in the back seat."

Their breathing sped up.

"I'll think something. I'll want to say something. And then it just... doesn't happen. Or I do the opposite. Or nothing at all."

They squeezed their eyes shut.

"And everyone thinks I'm calm," they whispered. "Or quiet. Or strong. And I don't know how to tell them that sometimes I'm screaming and it doesn't come out."

Something in Berdly's expression broke.

He set the controller aside and scooted closer, still careful not to touch unless invited.

"...That's not stupid." He said. "That's terrifying."

Kris let out a shaky breath that might've been a laugh. Or a sob. "Yeah. I-I— I'm scared."

They wiped at their eyes quickly, annoyed. "I hate that I'm like this."

Berdly shook his head. "You're not ’like’ anything. You're dealing with something."

"It feels like a flaw." Kris said. "Like if I were better, stronger, it wouldn't happen."

"That's not how flaws work," Berdly said sharply. Then he softened. "And even if it were… this wouldn't be one."

Kris stared at him.

"You're one of the most competent people I know," Berdly continued. "You keep things together when the rest of us fall apart. You notice things. You adapt."

He swallowed.

"And if you say you're scared, then I believe you."

Kris's eyes burned.

"…There's more," they said.

Berdly nodded. "Okay."

Kris opened their mouth.

Nothing came out.

They tried again.

Still nothing.

Their chest tightened suddenly, breath catching halfway in. The room felt… wrong. Like the air had thickened.

"I—" They tried.

Their voice failed completely this time.

Berdly noticed immediately. "Hey. Hey, it's okay! You don't have to—"

Kris shook their head violently.

Their hands flew up to their throat, fingers pressing there like they could force the words out physically. Their mouth moved, soundless. Panic flared, hot and immediate.

Shut up.

Berdly's eyes widened in concern. "KRIS?!"

"I can't—" They gasped. "I CAN'T SAY IT!"

They squeezed their eyes shut, tears spilling over now, uncontrolled. Their whole body shook.

"It's stuck…" They cried. "Every time I get close, it's like something pulls it away. Like— like I'm not allowed to say it…"

Their chest hurted so bad after saying that.

Berdly froze

Not because he didn't care, but because something about that, the wording, the desperation, made his stomach drop.

"Okay," he said carefully. "Then don't say it."

Kris shook their head again. "But it matters."

"I know," Berdly said. "But you're not doing this alone. If it hurts too much to say out loud, then we find another way."

Kris's breathing came in broken sobs now. They covered their face with their hands, shoulders curling inward.

"I hate this..." They choked. "I hate feeling like I'm lying by omission. Like I'm hiding something awful."

Berdly sat back down beside them, closer now. "You're not lying."

"It feels like it." Kris whispered. "Especially when— when I do things I don't understand. When I hurt myself and I don't even fully know why."

Berdly stiffened.

But he didn't recoil.

"…You hurt yourself?" He said quietly.

Kris nodded, still crying. "Not— not all the time. Not like—" They swallowed. "It's not about wanting to die. It's about wanting everything to stop for a second. Wanting to feel like I'm back in my body."

Their voice cracked completely.

"And then afterward I feel disgusting. And ashamed. And scared of myself."

Berdly's chest felt tight. "I wish you didn't have to carry that alone."

"So do I." Kris whispered.

They dragged a sleeve across their face, trying to regain some control. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to— t-to dump all this on you..."

Their eyes filled with tears, nose full of snot.

How pathetic.

Berdly shook his head. "No. Don't. I asked."

Kris looked up at him, eyes red, vulnerable in a way he'd never seen before.

"…You're not mad?" They asked.

"Mad?" Berdly echoed. "At you?"

"…Yeah."

His voice softened. "No."

He hesitated, then added, "I'm… honored. That you trusted me with this."

Kris let out a broken laugh. "I don't feel very honorable right now."

"Then allow me to feel it for you," Berdly said awkwardly. "Just— temporarily."

That almost made Kris smile.

Almost.

They leaned back against the headboard again, exhausted. Berdly stayed where he was, close but not crowding.

"…I'm scared" Kris said quietly.

"I know." Berdly replied.

"I don't want to lose control..." They continued. "I don't want to hurt myself again. I don't want to freeze up and let everyone down."

Berdly thought for a moment.

"Then we plan." He said.

Kris blinked. "Plan?"

"Yes!" Berdly said, nodding. "For presentations. For panic. For when things start slipping."

"…You can't plan for everything."

"No," Berdly agreed. "But you can plan for support."

Kris stared at him.

"I can help." Berdly said. "With the presentation. With covering if you freeze. With getting you out if it’s too much."

He hesitated. "…And if you ever feel like you're not in control— you can tell me that. Even if you can't say why."

Kris's eyes filled again.

If only he knew..

Right, Kris?

"I— You'd do that?" They asked.

Berdly nodded. "Yes."

"…Why?"

He looked away, face heating up. "Because you matter. And because I care. And because—" He swallowed. "I don't like the idea of you hurting alone."

Kris reached out before they could stop themself, fingers curling into the fabric of Berdly's sleeve.

They didn't say anything.

They couldn't.

They weren't allowed.

Chapter 8: Between Control and Choice

The day after everything felt… strangely normal. That alone made Kris uneasy.

They woke up expecting the residual weight from the night before to crash down on them the moment their eyes opened. The conversation with Berdly still sat heavy in their chest. Raw, unprocessed, like something delicate that hadn't fully set yet.

But the morning light came in gentle through the curtains. Their room looked the same. The house sounded the same. Toriel hummed softly in the kitchen, the smell of cinnamon drifting down the hall.

Kris laid there for a moment, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought.

That helped. A little.

By the time they made it to the kitchen, Toriel had already set out breakfast. She smiled when she saw them, warm and unassuming, like she wasn't cataloging every detail of their posture the way she absolutely was.

"Good morning honey." She said. "You slept in."

"Yeah," Kris replied. "Guess I needed it."

She nodded, satisfied with that answer, and slid a plate toward them.

They ate quietly. No pressure. No questions.

When their phone buzzed against the table, Kris startled slightly before checking it.

Berdly:

Good morning. Are you… functional today?

 

Kris huffed softly and typed back.

 

Kris:

define functional.

 

Berdly:

Able to walk, speak, and tolerate Susie for extended periods.

 

Kris:

debatable. but yeah.

 

Berdly:

Excellent. We're coming over later. Group hangout. Low stress. Educationally optional.

 

Kris smiled despite themself.

 

Kris:

okay.

thanks btw. for yesterday.

 

Berdly:

Anytime. Also I am pretending to be normal about it.

 

That made them laugh.

 

---

All Four of Them

 

Susie arrived first, kicking the door shut behind her with her usual lack of subtlety.

"Yo," she announced. "Smells like baked goods and emotional incapacity"

"Susie," Toriel said fondly. "Please be kind."

"No promises."

Noelle followed close behind, smiling shyly, clutching a small bag. "I-I brought snacks. Just in case."

Kris nodded at her. "Good call."

Berdly came last, carrying a tote bag that looked suspiciously heavy.

"I have prepared," he declared, setting it down. "Board games. Card games. Backup games. And one cooperative video game in case we decide to test our teamwork under controlled conditions."

Susie squinted. "You brought homework, didn't you."

"Only metaphorically."

They settled into the living room. The atmosphere was… easy. Not forced. No one tiptoed around Kris, but no one ignored them either.

It was exactly what they needed.

They started with a card game. Something simple. Susie immediately tried to cheat.

"You can't just take cards," Noelle protested weakly.

"Yes I can."

"No, you can't."

"Watch me."

Kris watched the exchange with a small smile, leaning back against the couch. For a while, they forgot to monitor their own breathing. Forgot to brace.

Halfway through the game, something tugged.

Just a flicker.

Their hand moved before they fully registered it, placing a card down out of turn.

"Kris?" Noelle said, surprised. "It's not your—"

Kris blinked. "Oh. Sorry."

They pulled their hand back quickly, heart stuttering.

Berdly noticed.

He didn't say anything. Just adjusted the pace of the game, drawing attention elsewhere. A silent assist.

The moment passed.

Later, Susie suggested they go out.

"C'mon," she said. "Let's do something. Sitting around is making my brain itch."

"Where?" Noelle asked.

Susie grinned. "’Sans."

Berdly sighed. "Of course."

---

Sidequest: Snacks

 

Sans' shop hadn't changed.

The lights buzzed faintly. Shelves were half-stocked.

Sans himself leaned behind the counter, grinning like usual.

"Heya, kids," he said. "what'll it be today?"

"Sugar," Susie said immediately.

"Of course."

They wandered the aisles, grabbing snacks, debating flavors. Kris lingered near the freezer, staring at the ice cream options longer than necessary.

"…You good?" Susie asked quietly, appearing beside them.

Kris nodded. "Yeah. Just deciding."

"Cool," Susie said. "Don't overthink it."

When they reached the counter, Sans rang them up lazily. "Group outing, huh? Always nice to see."

Kris opened their mouth to respond and heard themself say, "yeah. It's fun."

The words came out too smooth. Too automatic.

Berdly's eyes flicked to them sharply.

Kris swallowed. They didn't mean to say that.

Not because it wasn't true, but because it hadn't been their choice.

They forced a smile anyway. No one commented.

Outside, Berdly walked beside them, closer than before.

"…If you want to head back early," he said quietly, "we can."

Kris shook their head. "No. I'm okay."

And they were. Mostly.

---

Back Home — Easy Hours

 

The rest of the afternoon drifted by gently.

They played video games. Got a stomach ache from eating so much. Watched something dumb on TV. Susie fell asleep halfway through and claimed it was ’strategic resting.’ Noelle doodled quietly, occasionally showing Kris her drawings.

Berdly sat beside Kris on the couch, knees not quite touching, but close enough to feel solid.

It wasn't until the sun dipped low and Susie started checking the time that the mood shifted.

"We should probably bounce," she said. "Homework exists. Unfortunately."

Noelle nodded. "Y-Yeah. I should get home."

They gathered their things. Shoes by the door. Jackets shrugged on.

Berdly lingered.

"Kris," he said. "Can I talk to you? Before we go?"

Kris's chest tightened.

"…Okay."

Noelle and Susie watched them walk away, deciding to wait for them.

They stepped into the hallway, quieter there. Berdly hesitated, then spoke carefully.

"Last night... You mentioned… hurting yourself."

Kris flinched.

Berdly noticed immediately. "I'm not asking for details." He added quickly. "I just— I need to understand enough to help you stay safe."

Silence stretched.

Kris stared at the floor.

"It's not—" They stopped. Tried again. "It's not about wanting to disappear."

Berdly nodded. "You said that."

"It's about… stopping" Kris continued. "Everything gets too loud. Too tight. And I just want it to pause."

Their voice wavered. "I don't always succeed in finding a better way."

Berdly swallowed. "Are you— are you safe right now?"

Kris nodded. "Yeah. I am."

"…And when you're not?"

Kris hesitated. "I usually don't tell anyone."

"That has to change," Berdly said quietly. Not demanding. Just firm.

Kris looked up at him.

"I know. I just... I don't want to be a burden."

Berdly frowned. "You're not."

"…You don't know that."

"I do. Because I've seen you carry everyone else."

Kris's eyes burned.

Berdly smiled. "You don't have to be alone with it anymore."

He hesitated, then added, "…Even if you can't tell me everything. Even if there are things you literally can't say."

Kris's breath caught.

"You noticed."

"Yes," Berdly said softly. "And we'll work around it. Quietly. On your terms."

For a moment, Kris couldn't speak.

They nodded instead.

When they returned to the living room, Susie, who was deep in conversation with Noelle, glanced up.

"You good?" She asked.

Kris nodded. "Yeah. How about we hang out a little longer..?"

Susie nods. "Yeah, sure. Why not."

Berdly smiled. "Sounds good to me. I'll be stepping away to give my mother a call."

Noelle nodded as well. "So will I!"

The two stepped outside, leaving Kris and Susie alone for a moment. When Berdly and Noelle came back Susie was already holding Kris high in the air as they tried to grab the snacks from the top cabinet. Those were probably that high up for a reason.

Noelle giggled softly as Berdly shook his head and tried to hide a smile.

"FINALLY DUDE!" Susie said out loud as they finally got a hold on the GOOD snacks. Their previous snacks were good, but they could never compare.

Susie set them down, laughing. "Maybe I shouldn't have helped you get those. You're already heavy enough."

The group laughed. So did Kris.

"I thought you were the strong one here. What happened to that?"

"...Shut the fuck up bro."

---

Hours later they're still in Kris's living room. The TV is on but muted now, some cartoon looping through bright colors no one's paying attention to. Susie's leaning against the arm of the couch, Noelle curled up against her, attempting to take a nap. Kris sitting in a chair, painting their nails black.

Berdly is there too, on the couch, posture stiff, unusually quiet. Watching.

Noelle fidgets with the edge of her sleeve, opening her eyes.

"…Kris?" She asks gently.

Kris looks up. "Yeah?"

Noelle hesitates. "You've been… really quiet today."

Kris shrugs. "I'm always quiet."

Susie snorts. "Yeah, but this is like... extra quiet."

"I'm fine." Kris says quickly.

The words come out easy. Too easy.

Something inside them tightens.

Noelle doesn't let it drop. "You don't have to be, you know. Fine, I mean."

Kris's fingers curl against the carpet.

"Do you not want me to be? I said I'm fine."

Susie raises an eyebrow. "Okay, but you also said that last time, and then you almost passed out in Noelle's living room."

"That was different."

"How?" Susie presses.

Kris opens their mouth

And the wrong words come out.

"I don't want to talk about it."

They freeze.

That's not what they meant to say.

Susie scoffs. "Wow. Okay. That's one way to shut us out."

Kris's heart starts to pound.

"I didn't—" They try.

Their voice comes out sharper than intended. "Just drop it."

Noelle flinches.

"Kris..." She says softly. "We're just worried."

The pressure hits all at once.

It's not pain. Not exactly.

It's like being shoved forward when you're already standing on the edge.

"I don't need you to worry about me!" Kris snaps.

They clap a hand over their mouth immediately.

Susie straightens. "What the hell?"

Kris feels it. Something pulling at their throat, their chest, forcing the tension up instead of letting it settle. "I said I'm fine." They hear themself say again, louder. "Why can't you just believe me for once?"

Noelle's eyes widen. "I—I do believe you, I just—"

"No, you don't" Kris says, standing abruptly. "None of you do. You all just think I'm some kind of problem you have to fix."

"That's not true," Noelle says, voice shaking. "We just want to help."

"I didn't ask for help! Do you have to ruin EVERY hangout?!"

Noelle flinched, ears folding back as she visibly shrunk.

Berdly stared in shock.

Susie steps forward. "Hey. Watch it."

Kris's hands are shaking now. Their chest feels too tight, breath coming fast.

"Stop." They say. "Just... stop asking me things. Stop looking at me like that."

"Like fucking WHAT Kris?!" Susie demands.

"Like I'm about to break!"

The room goes silent.

Noelle's eyes fill with tears. "Kris… I'm sorry. I didn't mean— I didn't mean to... ruin anything..."

She walked closer, putting a hand on their shoulder.

The pressure surges.

Kris feels their body move before they decide to.

They shove Noelle's shoulders. Hard enough to hurt. Hard enough to make space. To make distance.

"Get away from me!"

Noelle gasps and stumbles back. If it wasn't for Susie standing behind her, she would've fell.

Susie holds Noelle for a moment, then steps forward. "What is your problem?!"

Kris's vision blurs. Their voice comes out loud, cracking, wrong.

"I said leave me alone!"

Noelle breaks. Tears spill down her face as she covers her mouth. "Why are you doing this? Why are you being so mean...?"

The question slices straight through them.

Stop, Kris thinks desperately. Please stop.

Their mouth opens again.

"I don't want you here!"

Berdly stands up sharply. "Kris—"

But it's too late.

Noelle lets out a small, broken sound and turns away, shoulders shaking. Susie looks furious, hurt layered under it.

"Fine." Susie growls. "If that's what you want."

"I—" Kris chokes.

But their feet are already moving.

They grab their jacket, hands clumsy, heart racing so hard it hurts.

"Fuck this. I'm leaving." They say. "I need air."

Noelle cries.

They don't turn around.

The door slams behind them, the sound echoing through the house.

---

After — Silence and Truth

 

The night air is cold.

Kris barely registers where they're going. They just walk. Fast. Head down. Chest heaving.

"That wasn't me."

Their hands curl into fists.

"That wasn't me."

Footsteps catch up to them.

"Kris."

Berdly's voice.

They stop without thinking.

Berdly stands a few feet away, breathing a little hard like he ran.

"…You didn't mean that." He says quietly.

Kris's shoulders slump.

"I couldn't stop it..." They whisper. "I tried. I really tried."

Berdly nods. "I know."

They look at him, eyes burning. "I hurt them."

"Yes," he says. "But not because you wanted to."

That's what breaks them.

They didn't mean to.

Kris's breath stutters, then collapses into a sob they can't hold back. Their knees buckle slightly, and Berdly steps forward instinctively, catching them.

They cling to his hoodie, fingers digging in like he's the only solid thing left.

"I didn't want to yell." Kris cries. "I didn't want to push them away. It just— it just took over."

Berdly wraps his wing around them without hesitation, holding them close.

"I know." He murmurs. "I know..."

They stand there for a moment, Kris shaking, crying into his shoulder while he holds onto them.

"…Come on." He says softly. "Let's go back to my place."

Kris nods weakly. They always go there after something bad has happened. They feel bad for accepting, but can't help it. They want comfort.

They want... Him.

---

With Susie and Noelle.

 

Susie and Noelle had left to Susie's place. There was no point in staying at Krises house after that. After all, they weren't even there.

Susie opened the door, and to both of their surprises, Susie's parents were there.

"Shit."

"What's up Susie?"

That made them turn their heads and acknowledge them.

Susie's mom seemed high, and her father drunk. You could definitely smell it on them.

They looked hostile.

They spoke.

"Ah, welcome home Susie! We were wondering where you were!" Her mother said.

"Yeah. Sure."

Susie's father spoke softly. "We missed you. I see you brought a friend?"

"Yeah yeah.. I don't have time to talk right now."

She walked past them, holding Noelle's small hand in her own. She wanted to focus on comforting Noelle, who was still crying.

Her parents watched them walk by, not commenting. They didn't care. Of course they didn't.

Noelle sits on Susie's bed with her knees pulled up to her chest, hands knotted together in the fabric of her sweater.

She hasn't stopped crying yet.

It's not loud sobbing, just that quiet, breath-stuttering kind that sneaks up on her when she thinks she's done. Tears drip down the tip of her nose, splashing onto her sleeves before she can wipe them away.

"I don't understand," she says again, voice shaking. "I didn't mean to make it worse."

Susie sits beside her, back against the headboard, legs stretched out. She doesn't interrupt. She lets Noelle talk, lets the words spill out messy and uneven.

"I just wanted to help," Noelle continues. "They looked so tired, and I thought if we talked about it... i-if we knew, then maybe—"

Her voice breaks completely this time.

"I made them hate me."

Susie's jaw tightens.

"They don't hate you." She says, firm.

Noelle shakes her head violently. "They yelled at me, Susie. They told me to leave. I've never seen them like that..."

Susie exhales slowly through her nose. She reaches out and takes Noelle's hands, gently untangling her fingers from the death grip they've formed.

"Hey." She says. "Look at me."

Noelle hesitates, then lifts her head.

Susie's expression is serious, but not angry. Grounded. Steady.

"Kris wasn't mad at you," she says. "They were panicking. ...they had to be. Kris wouldn't do this without reason..."

Noelle sniffles. "But they pushed me. They yelled. That's not— that's not normal for them."

"No," Susie agrees. "It's not."

She pauses, choosing her words carefully. Something she doesn't usually bother doing.

"But that doesn't mean they meant it."

Noelle swallows. "Then why did it feel so real?"

Susie softly caressed her hands. "Because it was real. Just not… intentional."

Noelle wipes at her eyes. "I don't like that answer."

"Yeah," Susie mutters. "Neither do I."

They sit there for a moment, the room quiet except for Noelle's uneven breathing and the faint hum of traffic outside.

Susie shifts closer.

"Look," she says. "I'm not gonna sugarcoat this. What happened sucked. It hurt. You're allowed to be upset about it."

Noelle nods weakly.

"But..." Susie continues, pulling Noelle into her lap, having one arm wrapped around her as she rests back. "I've known Kris for a while now, And when they freak out like that? It's usually because something's wrong. Not because someone screwed up."

Noelle's voice is small. "Do you think we pushed too hard?"

"...Yeah. Probably. Me, mostly."

Noelle's shoulders slump. "It's my fault."

"No." Susie says immediately. "That's not what I said. We didn't know what was going on in their head, we saw something was wrong and tried to fix it like normal people. That doesn't make you bad. It just means… we missed something."

Noelle presses her lips together, fresh tears welling. "I hate missing things."

"I know," Susie says quietly.

Noelle's voice trembles. "What if they don't want to talk to us anymore?"

Susie shrugs. "Then we give them space."

"…What if they never come back?"

Susie doesn't answer right away.

She shifts Noelle from her lap, into her side instead, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Noelle stiffens for half a second, then melts into it, pressing her face against Susie's chest.

Susie rests her chin on top of Noelle's head.

"Then we'll deal with that," she says. "But I don't think that's what's gonna happen."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because," Susie says, "Kris pushes people away when they're scared. Not when they're done."

Noelle clutches Susie's shirt. "I don't want them to be scared."

"Me neither."

They sit like that for a while.

Noelle's crying gradually slows, breaths evening out.

"…Susie?" Noelle murmurs.

"Yeah?"

"…You didn't get mad at me."

Susie snorts softly. "Why would I?"

"I kept asking questions." Noelle says. "I didn't stop when I probably should have."

Susie sighs. "Yeah. You did."

Noelle tenses.

"But," Susie adds quickly, "that's because you care. And sometimes caring makes you dumb."

Noelle lets out a shaky laugh. "You're really bad at comforting people."

"I know," Susie says proudly.

Noelle tilts her head back to look at her. "But you stayed."

"Always," Susie replies.

Noelle's eyes soften. She leans in again, this time deliberately, resting her head against Susie's shoulder.

"…Thank you." She whispers.

Susie's arm tightens just a little. "Anytime."

They stay there until the room feels warm again. Until the quiet doesn't feel so heavy.

Eventually, Noelle speaks again. Hesitant, hopeful. "…Do you think we should apologize?"

Susie hums. "Yeah. But not right away."

Noelle nods. "When they're ready."

"Exactly."

Noelle takes a deep breath.

"I hope they're okay."

Susie stares at the wall for a moment.

"…They will be." She says. "They've got people who care about them. Even if they don't always believe it."

Noelle smiles faintly, eyes tired but calmer now. She squeezes Susie's hand.

"I'm really glad you're here."

Susie snorts. "You're not getting rid of me that easy."

Noelle lets out a soft laugh and closes her eyes, still tucked against her.

---

With Berdly and Kris.

 

Berdly's room is dark when they step inside. Not pitch-black, just the soft kind of dark where shapes blur together, where the glow from the hallway spills in for a moment before Berdly shuts the door behind them. The click is quiet, final, like a boundary being drawn between this space and everything that just happened.

Kris stands there for a second, frozen. Their chest still feels tight. Not panicked anymore, just sore. Like something inside them has been wrung out and left to drip.

Berdly hesitates, then speaks gently. "You can sit. Or… lay down. Whatever you want."

Kris nods. "Okay."

Their voice sounds small. They hate that. But Berdly doesn't react to it. He just watches them with that same careful attention, like he's afraid one wrong word might send them spiraling again.

Kris moves toward the bed, sits on the edge, hands folded in their lap. Their fingers are still trembling.

Berdly stands there awkwardly for a moment, then clears his throat. "Um. I'm— I'm gonna sit too. If that's… okay."

"Yeah," Kris says quickly. "Please."

That seems to relax him. He sits beside them, not touching yet, but close enough that Kris can feel the warmth of his arm through their sleeve.

For a moment, neither of them speaks.

The silence isn't empty, it's heavy. Full of things unsaid. Full of echoes from earlier: raised voices, crying, the sound of the door slamming shut.

Kris's breathing starts to hitch again.

They try to steady it. In. Out. Slow.

The pressure creeps back in.

Not as strong as before, but present. Watching. Waiting.

Say something, it urges.

Kris clenches their hands together, nails digging into their palms.

"No..." They whisper.

Berdly turns sharply. "What?"

Kris swallows. "Sorry. I— I'm just… tired."

He studies them for a second, then nods. "Okay."

He shifts slightly closer. Their shoulders brush.

"Hey," he says quietly. "Can I…?"

He gestures vaguely, awkwardly, clearly meaning to ask if he can touch them.

Kris doesn't hesitate this time. They lean into him.

Berdly stiffens for half a second, then carefully wraps a wing around their shoulders. It's tentative at first, like he's afraid of doing it wrong, but when Kris presses closer, he relaxes, holding them more securely.

Kris exhales. The tension in their chest loosens just a little.

They don't cry immediately. They just sit there, breathing together, Kris's forehead resting against Berdly's shoulder.

Kris's thoughts start to drift, dangerously so. Images flash through their mind: Noelle crying, Susie's shocked and furious expression, the sound of their own voice shouting words they didn't mean.

Their breathing speeds up.

The pressure spikes.

You should apologize, it whispers. Right now. You should go back. You should fix it. You should—

Kris's jaw tightens. It wasn't even their fault.

They shift closer to Berdly, gripping his sleeve like an anchor.

"Hey," Berdly murmurs, feeling the change immediately. "What's wrong?"

Kris shakes their head. "I— it's trying to—"

They stop. The words won't come.

Something clamps down on their throat, hard and sudden.

Berdly feels them tense. "…Kris?"

They open their mouth again.

Nothing.

The pressure surges, insistent now, pushing at the edges of their thoughts.

Don't tell him.

Kris's hands start shaking again.

Berdly doesn't press. Instead, he tightens his hold, grounding.

"It's okay..." He says quietly. "You don't have to explain. Just— stay with me, alright?"

Kris nods, barely.

They focus on small things instead. The texture of Berdly's stupid Minecraft hoodie. The steady rise and fall of his chest. The sound of his breathing.

Slowly, painfully, the pressure recedes.

Not gone, but held back.

Kris lets out a shaky breath and finally breaks.

Their shoulders slump, and a quiet sob slips out before they can stop it.

Berdly reacts instantly, pulling them fully into his chest now, both wings wrapped around them. Kris clutches him back, fingers digging into his hoodie, face buried against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry..." They whisper, voice breaking. "I didn't want to hurt them."

"I know," Berdly says immediately. "I know you didn't."

"I tried to stop it," Kris continues, words tumbling out now that they've started. "I really did. It just— it felt like someone else was talking. Like I was watching it happen instead of doing it."

Why would you say that, Kris.

Berdly swallows.

"That sounds terrifying." He says softly.

Kris nods against him. "It is."

They cry quietly for a while. Not the overwhelming kind, just exhausted, hollow sobs that shake their body and leave them drained.

Berdly doesn't say much. He just stays there, steady and warm, one hand rubbing Kris's back.

Eventually, the crying fades.

Kris stays curled against him, breathing evening out, eyes heavy.

"…Thank you." They murmur.

"For what?"

"For staying."

"Always." He replies, without hesitation.

Kris shifts slightly. "Can we… lay down?"

"Yeah," Berdly says quickly. "Yeah, of course."

They carefully rearrange themselves. Awkward, clumsy, bumping elbows, but eventually they settle on the bed, lying on their sides facing each other. Berdly hesitates, then opens his arms again.

Kris moves into them without being asked. Their legs tangle slightly. Berdly's wing drapes over their back, pulling them close. Kris tucks their face into the crook of his neck, the steady rhythm of his breathing lulling them.

The pressure flickers again.

Move, it urges faintly.

Kris squeezes their eyes shut.

"No..." They whisper again.

Berdly feels it. Feels them tense. And murmurs softly, "You're safe. I've got you."

That does it.

The pressure fades, retreating like a tide pulled back by force.

Kris relaxes fully into him for the first time that night.

Their body finally gives in to exhaustion.

Berdly stays awake a little longer, listening to their breathing slow, feeling the weight of them against his chest. He adjusts the blanket, tucks it around them both.

When Kris finally falls asleep, still clutching his hoodie, Berdly lets himself rest too.

Holding on.

Protecting what he can.

He just holds them, steady and silent, while the night settles around them.

Chapter 9: The Project — Deadline

Berdly's place.

 

Berdly wakes up slowly.

Not because he's well-rested, he isn't, but because something warm is pressed against his chest, breathing softly, and his brain needs a few seconds to catch up to that fact.

Kris is still asleep.

Curled into him. One arm tucked between them, fingers gripping the fabric of his hoodie, their face is buried against his collarbone, hair tickling his chin every time they breathe.

Berdly freezes.

Oh.

He doesn't move at first. He barely breathes. His heart is pounding, loud enough that he's terrified it might wake them.

Last night comes back in fragments: the shouting, the way Kris's voice cracked, the way they shook when they cried into him like the world had finally given out beneath their feet. The way they'd whispered ”I didn't want to hurt them” like it was a confession instead of a fact.

Berdly swallows.

Carefully, he shifts his arm, testing whether Kris will stir. They don't. They just sigh quietly and press closer, forehead nudging into the hollow of his throat.

Something in Berdly's chest tightens.

He lets himself hold them properly this time. Not rigid. Not careful.

He stares at the wall, mind racing despite the calm of the moment. He's never been good at this part, at being still, at letting things be soft without trying to explain them or improve them or turn them into something clever.

But this doesn't need clever.

This needs steady.

Kris twitches slightly. Their brow furrows. Their fingers flex, grip tightening for a second like they're reaching for something in a dream.

Berdly murmurs without thinking, "Hey, i've got you..."

The words surprise him.

Kris relaxes again.

Berdly exhales slowly.

”Okay,” he thinks. ”Okay. I can do this.”

Eventually, the light through the window shifts.

Morning creeps in, pale and ordinary. The world keeps going, despite everything.

Kris stirs.

Their eyes flutter open, unfocused at first. They blink a few times, then freeze when they realize where they are.

"...Morning," Berdly says quietly.

Kris's face flushes faintly, but they don't pull away. "…Morning."

"…Did I—" Kris starts, then stops.

"You fell asleep," Berdly supplies. "On me."

"Sorry."

"Don't," he says immediately. "You didn't do anything wrong."

They relax a little at that.

They stay like that for a moment longer, neither of them quite ready to move. Then reality creeps in. School, time, the weight of the day ahead.

"...We should probably get ready," Kris says softly.

"Yeah," Berdly agrees. "But— uh... we don't have to rush."

They sit up slowly, the loss of contact noticeable immediately. Berdly pretends not to feel it. Kris swings their legs off the bed, rubbing their eyes.

"…Thank you," Kris says, not looking at him.

"For what?"

"For… staying."

Berdly shrugs, trying to play it off even though his chest feels tight. "Someone had to make sure you didn't, erm, get kidnapped by the blankets."

Kris huffs a small laugh.

They get ready mostly in silence, brushing teeth, fixing hair, grabbing backpacks. It's comfortable, not awkward. Berdly keeps glancing over, half-expecting Kris to flinch or shut down again, but they seem… steadier. Still tired. Still fragile. But standing. When they step outside together, the air is cool and bright.

"…You okay?" Berdly asks as they start walking.

Kris nods. "…I think so."

"That's good," he says. "If that changes, you can tell me."

Kris hesitates,

then nods again. "Okay."

They seem... Genuine.

---

Susie's place

 

Susie wakes up pissed off.

Not because she didn't sleep well, she actually did. But because she woke up at all.

She groans, rolls onto her back, stares at the cracked ceiling of her room. The house is already loud. Voices downstairs. The clatter of dishes.

Great.

She sits up, rubs her face, then freezes when she remembers—

Noelle.

Still asleep beside her, curled up under the blanket like she belongs there. Peaceful. Soft.

Susie's expression softens for half a second.

She carefully slides out of bed, trying not to wake her, and pulls on yesterday's shirt. The hallway floor creaks as she steps out.

The kitchen smells like cheap coffee and burnt toast.

Her parents are there. Her dad doesn't look up. "You're up late."

It's six in the morning.

Her mom snorts. "Figures. You're lazy as hell."

Susie narrows her eyes. "Morning to you too."

Her dad finally looks at her, eyes sharp. "Don't get smart with me."

"Wasn't fuckin trying to..." Susie mutters.

Susie's mom scoffs. "Always got an attitude. No wonder nobody wants you around."

Susie's nails dig into her palms. "I literally JUST woke up. What do you want."

"For you to just piss off."

"I've got school," she says flatly.

"Like you give a damn. You're just gonna screw it up anyway."

Her mom laughs. "Yeah. Look at you. You'll end up just like—"

Susie snaps. "Don't."

They glare at her.

"You watch your mouth." Her dad growls. "You're in our house."

"Yeah," Susie spits. "Trust me, I know."

Her mom rolls her eyes.

Susie turns away before they can see the way her hands are shaking.

Then— Footsteps.

Noelle steps into the kitchen, voice soft and sleepy "…Good morning?"

Everything changes.

"Oh!" Susie's mom beams instantly. "So YOU'RE Noelle! We've heard so much about you."

Her dad smiles like a damn switch flipped. "Did you sleep okay?"

Susie feels sick.

Noelle blinks, confused but polite. "Um— yeah. Thank you."

Her mom shoots Susie a warning look that says don't you dare.

"We were just saying how nice it is to have guests," her mom continues brightly. "Susie doesn't usually bring friends home."

Susie's jaw tightens so hard it hurts.

Noelle glances at her, clearly sensing something's off.

"…Susie?" She asks gently.

"I'll be outside..." Susie mutters, grabbing her jacket and bolting for the door before she says something she can't take back.

The door slams behind her hard enough that the windows rattle, and she doesn't care. She keeps going, boots hitting the pavement too loud, jaw clenched so tight it aches. Her chest feels like it's buzzing— too full, too empty, she can't tell which.

She digs into her pocket with shaking fingers.

Cigarette. Lighter.

She doesn't even like the taste. Never has. But the ritual matters. The click, the inhale, the burn.

She ducks behind the side of the apartment, out of view from the kitchen window, and lights up.

The first drag is rough. It scrapes her throat. She coughs quietly and flips the cigarette away from her mouth so the smoke doesn't drift back toward the house.

"Fuck." She mutters under her breath.

She leans against the siding, head tipping back, staring at the washed-out morning sky. It's too bright. Everything always looks too normal from the outside.

Inside her chest, something twists.

Her dad's voice replays in her head.

Lazy as hell.

Pain in the ass.

Her mom's laugh, sharp, dismissive. Like Susie's existence is a joke they're tired of hearing.

She takes another drag. Longer this time. Lets it burn.

Her hands are still shaking.

She presses her forehead against the cool wall and breathes out smoke slowly, watching it dissipate.

Get it together, she tells herself. You're fine. You're always fine.

---

 

Inside the house, Noelle stands awkwardly in the kitchen, hands folded in front of her.

She hadn't meant to interrupt anything. She'd just woken up, noticed Susie wasn't there, and followed the sound of voices. Now she's here, standing across from Susie's parents, who are smiling at her like she's something fragile and precious.

"Oh, honey, you don't need to be nervous," Susie's mom says warmly. "We're so glad Susie has friends like you."

Noelle blushes. "Oh— I'm just glad I could stay over. Thank you for letting me."

Her dad nods, pouring himself coffee. "Of course. You're always welcome here."

The words land wrong.

Noelle doesn't notice.

She smiles back, relieved. "Your house is really… um... cozy."

Susie's mom laughs. "That's kind of you to say. I know we don't have much.. but we try."

Noelle hesitates, then asks, "Is Susie okay? She left kind of suddenly."

"Oh, she's just grumpy in the mornings." Her mom replies easily. "Always has been."

Her dad snorts. "Teenagers, right?"

Noelle laughs softly, nodding. "Yeah… I guess so."

She doesn't see the way Susie's mom's eyes harden for half a second when Susie isn't there to hear it.

"Well," her mom continues brightly, "she's lucky to have you. You seem like such a good influence."

Noelle's cheeks warm. "I try to be."

They talk for another minute, about school, about weather, about nothing at all. Susie's parents are attentive, polite, charming. They ask Noelle questions. They listen.

Noelle feels… safe.

Eventually, Susie's mom glances at the clock. "You girls should probably get going soon."

"Oh! Right," Noelle says. "Thank you again. Really."

Her dad smiles. "Anytime."

Noelle turns toward the door, then hesitates.

"…I'll go check on Susie."

Susie is halfway through her second cigarette when she hears the door open.

She stiffens immediately.

Noelle steps outside, cardigan pulled tight around herself. She pauses when she sees Susie smoking, surprise flickering across her face.

"Oh," she says softly. "I didn't know you—"

"Don't tell anyone." Susie says quickly.

Noelle nods immediately. "I won't."

She steps closer, then stops a few feet away, unsure. "Are you okay?"

Susie laughs. Short, fake. "Yeah. Just needed air."

Noelle tilts her head. "Your parents seem really nice. They're... Not as bad as you made them seem..."

The words hit like a punch.

Susie's fingers tighten around the cigarette. Ash crumbles to the ground.

"…Yeah." She says. "I guess they are."

The lie tastes worse than the smoke.

Noelle smiles. "They were so welcoming. I can see where you get your… um… confidence."

Susie almost chokes.

"Yeah," she says again, forcing it. "Totally."

Noelle watches her for a moment, concern faint but there. "You don't seem okay."

Susie flicks the cigarette away and crushes it under her boot. She straightens, shoulders back, face sliding into place like armor.

"I'm fine." She says, too fast. "Just... mornings suck."

Noelle hesitates. "If you ever want to talk—"

"I'm good," Susie cuts in, smiling wide. "Really."

She reaches out and ruffles Noelle's hair. "C'mon. Let's go before we're late."

Noelle laughs softly, cheeks pink. "Okay."

They start walking.

Susie doesn't look back at the house.

As they walk, Noelle chatters lightly, about school, about the day ahead. Susie nods, responds where she's supposed to, plays her part perfectly.

Inside, something aches.

Noelle likes them.

Noelle believes the lie.

And Susie lets her.

Because telling the truth would break something she doesn't know how to fix yet.

So she keeps walking, hands shoved in her pockets, pretending the smoke isn't still burning in her lungs. Pretending everything is rainbows and sunshine.

For now.

They spot Kris and Berdly half a block down.

Berdly is mid-sentence, gesturing with one hand so dramatically that he nearly drops his bag. Kris walks beside him, hands in their pockets, listening with that half-lidded calm that suggests they're absorbing everything while also being somewhere else entirely. Susie notices them first.

"Oh god," she mutters. "Bird's already in professor mode."

Noelle squints. "What's he saying?"

"I dunno," Susie says. "Something about optimal morning productivity or whatever."

As if summoned by the insult, Berdly looks up and immediately lights up.

"Susie! Noelle!" He calls, waving both wings now. "Excellent timing! I was just explaining—"

"Don't care." Susie calls back.

Berdly deflates a little. "—the importance of— wow. Rude."

Kris snorts quietly.

When they meet up, there's that brief half-second of uncertainty, like everyone's mentally checking if it's okay to act normal.

Kris breaks it by lightly shoulder-checking Susie.

"You smell like smoke." They say.

Susie grins "Mind your business."

"Pretty sure it is my business," Kris replies dryly.

"You're terrible at hiding it."

Berdly glances between them, concerned. "Smoke?"

Susie waves it off. "It's nothing."

Kris gives her a look. Not pressing. Just acknowledging.

"Sure," they say. "Still. You good?"

"Yeah."

Kris accepts it. For now.

Berdly clears his throat loudly. "Ahem. Since we're all here, I'd like to formally announce that I did not oversleep today."

Susie blinks. "You want a medal or something?"

"Yes," Berdly says immediately. "Preferably gold."

Noelle smiles. "I'm proud of you."

He straightens instantly. "Thank you, Noelle. Your validation means a great deal."

Kris grins. "He practiced that response in the mirror."

"I did not—" Berdly starts, then stops. "…Okay, maybe once."

They start walking together, naturally falling into their usual loose formation. Susie and Kris slightly ahead, Noelle and Berdly trailing just behind.

"So," Susie says casually, hands in her pockets. "You survive the night?"

Kris glances at her. "Yeah."

"…Good."

It's not an apology. Not forgiveness. But it’s something.

They walk in silence for a few steps, pretending the previous night didn't happen.

"...You smell like bird." Susie then says.

"N-Nah." Kris laughs.

Berdly pulls his turtleneck up, hiding a blush at the comment.

Then Kris says, "You still owe me for that time you ate my entire bag of chips."

Susie scoffs. "That was, like, last month."

"And yet," Kris replies, "the betrayal remains."

Noelle giggles. Berdly blinks. "In one sitting? Doesn't surprise me."

Susie grins. "Oh yeah. They cried."

"I did not." Kris says.

"You absolutely did."

"It was allergies."

"You were in the librarby."

"Dust allergies."

Noelle laughs harder now. "I didn't know you two were friends for that long."

Kris nods. "Unfortunately."

"Hey."

"Unfortunately for you."

Behind them, Berdly leans toward Noelle. "You know, I once attempted to confiscate Susie's snacks on school grounds."

Noelle raises an eyebrow curiously "What happened?"

"I still have the scar," he says solemnly, pointing vaguely at his arm.

Susie looks over her shoulder. "You tried to steal MY fuckin' jerky."

"It was a group project snack!"

"You didn't contribute."

"I contributed ideas."

"You contributed annoyance."

Kris adds, "He screamed."

"I did not scream," Berdly snaps. "…I yelped."

Noelle laughs again, softer this time. "I kind of wish I'd been there..."

Berdly smiles at her, a little shy. "It was… educational."

The school looms closer with every step.

It's the same brick building it's always been.

Today feels heavy. Like the air itself knows what almost broke last night and decided not to mention it.

Susie slows first.

Not enough to stop, just enough that Kris notices.

They fall into step beside her without saying anything.

They've always been good at that. Matching pace. Matching silence.

"You gonna punch anyone today?" Kris asks mildly.

Susie snorts. "Only if they deserve it."

"Statistically speaking," Berdly cuts in from behind them, "that probability increases by at least forty percent during first period."

Susie twists around mid-step. "You calling me violent?"

"I'm calling you efficient." Berdly says defensively.

Noelle giggles despite herself.

Kris glances back at Berdly. "You nervous?"

Berdly stiffens. "What? No. Why would I be nervous?"

"You're walking faster than usual."

"…I like to be punctual."

"You're ahead of us."

Berdly stops abruptly, flustered. "That is— ...Fine. I will adjust my speed."

Noelle smiles at him, soft and genuine. "You don't have to."

He relaxes instantly. "Ah. Right. Of course."

Kris pauses just before stepping inside.

Susie notices immediately. "You good?"

Kris nods. "Yeah."

It's automatic. Too automatic.

Susie doesn't push. She just nudges Kris's shoulder. Not hard, not gentle. Familiar.

"C'mon," she says. "Let's survive."

Kris smirks faintly. "Together?"

"Obviously."

Inside, the hallway is chaos.

Noelle winces at the noise, instinctively drifting closer to Susie. Susie adjusts without comment, angling herself so Noelle's not getting jostled by the few rough students.

Berdly watches this, then awkwardly tries to do the same for Kris, sidestepping someone a little too aggressively.

"Apologies," he says stiffly, to no one in particular.

Kris raises an eyebrow. "You guarding me now?"

Berdly scoffs. "Please. I'm merely… optimizing hallway navigation."

Susie grins. "He's your knight."

"I am not—"

Noelle laughs. "He kind of is."

Berdly goes red. "I— that's— irrelevant."

They reach their lockers.

Kris leans against theirs instead of opening it, watching Susie struggle with a jammed lock.

"You know," Kris says, "if you stopped punching it—"

"I am not punching it," Susie growls, immediately punching it.

It pops open.

"…See?" Susie says triumphantly.

Noelle smiles fondly. "You're really strong."

"Damn right."

Kris finally opens their locker, rummaging through it slower than usual. Susie watches them from the corner of her eye.

"You spacing out?" She asks quietly.

Kris pauses. "A little."

Susie nods. "Same."

They share a look. Not heavy, not dramatic. Just understanding.

Berdly clears his throat. "We should probably head to class. Unless you'd like to be tardy and disgrace our academic records."

Susie shuts her locker. "Relax, nerd. We've got time."

They start down the hall again.

Noelle lingers beside Berdly this time. "You did really well yesterday..." She says suddenly.

Berdly blinks. "I— did I?"

"Yeah!" She says. "With Kris. You helped."

He swallows, adjusting his glasses. "…I just did what anyone should."

Noelle shakes her head. "Not everyone would."

That quiets him.

Ahead of them, Susie nudges Kris again. "You eat breakfast?"

Kris shakes their head. "Didn't feel like it."

"Figures," Susie mutters. "I'll steal you something later."

"You don't have to."

"I know."

They reach the classroom door.

For a moment, all four of them hesitate—hands on backpacks, feet just short of the threshold.

It's not dread. Not exactly.

Just the awareness that once they step inside, the day starts for real.

Susie pushes the door open.

"Alright," she says. "Let's get this over with."

They file in together.

---

The school day

 

The classroom smells like chalk and old paper.

It always does.

A few students are already seated— Jockington slouched across two desks like he owns them, Catti on her phone, tapping the screen. Monster Kid is loudly talking to Snowy, who keeps shushing them without success. Kris takes their usual seat in the middle, dropping their bag at their feet. Susie flops into the chair behind them with a thud, stretching her arms over her head like she's already done for the day.

Berdly sits one seat In front of Kris, immediately straightening his posture the second he pulls out his notebook. Noelle slides into the seat to the left beside him, carefully setting her bag down and smoothing out the wrinkles in her skirt.

The noise fades slowly, replaced by the low murmur of conversation dying down as the teacher, Ms. Alphys, steps to the front of the room.

"O-Okay, everyone! Settle down, please!" She says, clapping her hands a little too softly for it to be effective. "I, um, hope you all had a— a restful weekend!"

Susie mutters, "it lasted one fuckin' day."

Kris snorts quietly.

Alphys turns toward the board, scribbling something in uneven handwriting. Group Presentation – Tomorrow.

The word hits the room like a dropped plate.

Tomorrow.

Berdly's pen freezes mid-word, Noelle blinks, Susie sits up straighter. "Wait. What?"

Alphys turns back around, smiling nervously. "Yes! As a reminder, your group projects will be presented tomorrow during class. So make sure you're all prepared!"

Then the room erupts.

"Tomorrow?!" Monster Kid yelps.

"We thought it was Friday!" Snowy groans.

Catti sighs. "I haven't even started."

Berdly's head snaps around so fast he nearly knocks his glasses crooked. "Tomorrow?" He says sharply.

"Ms. Alphys, with all due respect, that seems... highly irregular."

Alphys laughs nervously. "W-Well, I did announce it last week…"

Berdly's beak opens, then closes. He slowly sinks back into his chair.

"…I may have miscalculated."

Susie leans toward Kris. "We're fucked."

Kris frowns, staring at the board. "…We thought we had more time."

Noelle wrings her hands. "I—I thought we were presenting at the end of the week…"

Berdly presses his fingers to his temples. "Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable. We're not finished refining our visual aids. Our timing is off. Our conclusion is—"

"Hey..." Noelle cuts in. "Breathe..."

Berdly inhales sharply, then exhales. "…Fine."

Susie grins. "Hey Berdly, don't breathe."

"HEY!"

Kris suppresses a quiet laugh.

Alphys clears her throat loudly. "A-Anyway! Let's use today to do some final preparations. You may work with your groups quietly."

---

 

The desks scrape against the floor as students rearrange themselves.

Susie immediately drags her chair closer to Kris. Noelle scoots her desk closer, and Berdly turns his chair around to face them, notebook already open.

"So," Susie says. "What's left?"

Berdly flips through his notes at lightning speed. "The comparative analysis needs tightening. The visual presentation is functional but uninspired. And our speaking order—"

Kris lifts a hand slightly. "We're not ready."

Berdly pauses. "…Correct."

Noelle bites her lip. "We can work more after school, right?"

Susie nods. "Yeah. Hard focus. No distractions. Or whatever."

Kris hesitates.

Then they feel it. That familiar tightness in their chest. Not panic yet. Just the warning signs. The knowledge that tomorrow means speaking. Standing in front of the class. All eyes on them.

They swallow.

Berdly notices.

"…Kris," he says carefully. "Are you okay?"

Kris nods. "Yeah. Just... surprised."

Susie shoots them a look, but doesn't say anything.

"Alright," Berdly continues, slipping into organizer mode. "We need a location. The librarby is too public."

"My place?" Susie offers. She doesn't know why.

Noelle glances at her. "Is that okay?"

Susie stiffens for half a second. "Yeah. It's fine."

Berdly hesitates. "I… would prefer a quieter environment."

Kris speaks before Susie can bristle. "What about your house?"

Berdly blinks. "Mine?"

"You said before your mom doesn't mind," Kris says. "And it's quieter."

Berdly considers this, tapping his pen against the notebook. "…Yes. That would be optimal."

Noelle smiles faintly. "I can bring my laptop."

"I'll bring snacks," Susie says immediately. "Actual ones. Not whatever science experiment Berdly calls food."

"Hey." Berdly protests. "Protein bars are efficient."

Kris chimes in. "They taste like chalk."

Susie grins. "Chalk, yeah? Berdly's snacks can stay."

Noelle looks... Well, confused. VERY confused.

"…After school, then," Kris says.

Berdly nods. "Agreed."

The rest of the class passes in a blur of half-hearted note-taking and whispered conversations. Alphys drones on about presentation structure, occasionally pausing to nervously encourage eye contact.

Kris keeps their head down, scribbling notes they barely register.

Tomorrow.

They feel Susie's knee bump against theirs under the desk, a silent check-in.

Kris bumps back.

When they finally get dismissed, relief and dread mix together in equal measure.

Students flood the hallway again, complaints already flying.

"Tomorrow's such BS."

"I'm pulling an all-nighter."

"We're dead."

The four of them gather their things.

"Okay," Susie says, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "Berdly's nest."

Berdly nods. "It's a mighty fine house, thank you very much."

Noelle smiles nervously. "We can do this."

Kris takes a breath.

"Yeah." They say. "We can."

Even if their chest still feels tight.

Even if tomorrow looms closer than they're ready for. They step into the hallway together, already planning, already bracing, four people trying to hold it together for one more day.

Kris fidgets nervously. "But hey. We'll be off for the holidays after this week. At least."

Noelle giggles, walking next to Susie. "Yippee! Christmas!!"

Both Susie and Berdly smile at her excitement, and proceed to make their way to Berdly's house.

---

Berdly's house.

 

"This place screams ‘after-school special,’" Susie mutters.

"It screams ‘functional household,’" Berdly corrects, already halfway up the steps. "Please don't scare my mother."

Kris snorts under their breath.

Noelle straightens her sweater, nerves creeping back in. "She knows we're coming, right?"

"Yes," Berdly says confidently. "I informed her of our academic intentions."

Susie raises an eyebrow. "You informed her."

The door opens before anyone can knock.

"Oh my goodness, you must be the friends!" Berdly's mom beams, hands clasped together like she's been waiting for this moment her entire life.

Berdly groans immediately. "Mother—"

"Noelle, sweetie! Long time no see!" She continues, pointing gently. "And you must be Susie! Wow, you're tall. Do you play sports?"

Susie blinks. "Uh. I punch stuff."

"Love that," Berdly's mom says without missing a beat. Then she turns to Kris. "Oh! Hello Kris! Feeling better than you were yesterday?"

"Y-yeah—"

Berdly looks down at the ground, blushing faintly as he remembers the previous night. The yelling... The storming off... The cuddling...

"Well, come in, come in!" She says, ushering them inside. "Shoes wherever, I'll vacuum later. I made snacks! Nothing too sugary, but there are cookies if you behave."

The living room is warm and cluttered. A big comfy couch with blankets and many pillows. Photos on the walls. Berdly at various ages. Berdly holding trophies. Berdly with Noelle. Berdly dressed as a wizard for Halloween.

Susie points at one. "Oh my god. You were adorable."

"I—I was regal," Berdly snaps. "That was an award-winning costume."

He stares down, blushing.

Berdly's mom claps her hands. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything! Please don't starve yourselves for knowledge!"

They retreat down the hallway before she can say anything else.

Berdly's room is exactly what Susie expected, and worse.

Susie whistles. "Damn. You live like this?" She says, as if she's not living in a hellhole.

"This is called order," Berdly says defensively.

Kris takes it in quietly. It feels… familiar. Safe. Predictable.

Noelle sets her bag down carefully. "It's nice."

Berdly preens just a little. "Thank you."

They gather around the desk, laptops and notebooks spread out. The mood shifts. Not heavy, but focused.

"Okay," Berdly says, clapping once. "Let's assess damage."

Susie drops into a chair. "We're presenting tomorrow."

Noelle nods. "We're not done."

Kris adds quietly, "And we're all stressed."

Berdly exhales. "…Correct."

They go through it piece by piece, slides pulled up, notes reviewed, timing tested. Susie reads over talking points with a frown. Noelle takes meticulous notes, suggesting wording changes. Kris listens, occasionally offering corrections that make Berdly pause, then nod.

"…That's actually better." He admits.

Kris shrugs. "It flows."

An hour passes. Then another.

At some point, Berdly's mom knocks lightly and pokes her head in. "Snack break?"

She doesn't wait for an answer before setting down a plate of cookies and fruit slices. Susie grabs a cookie instantly.

"Fuel." She says.

Berdly sighs. "We're making progress. But—" He looks at the clock. "We need to finalize roles."

Susie leans back. "Who's presenting what?"

Silence.

Kris feels their chest tighten, but they keep their face neutral.

Noelle hugs her notebook closer. "We already talked about this before, didn't we…?"

Kris feels it then.

That familiar, awful pull.

Not strong, yet. But present. Like fingers brushing the back of their spine.

Berdly scrolls to the outline. "As previously established, Noelle opens and closes. I handle the analysis and technical explanations. Susie takes the applied section."

He pauses.

"And Kris…" His voice softens just a fraction. "You said you'd present the historical context and transitions..."

The room goes quiet.

Kris's mouth opens before they fully decide to speak.

"I'll do it." They say.

Susie jerks upright. "—Whoa. Hold on."

Noelle looks up sharply. "Kris…?"

Kris keeps their eyes on the desk. The words feel wrong in their mouth. Heavy. Rehearsed in a way they hate.

"I can present," they repeat, more stiffly. "It's fine."

It isn't fine. Susie can hear it immediately.

"You don't have to," Susie says, blunt but not unkind. "Like. At all. We can switch. I'll do it. Or Berdly can. Or we cut it down."

Berdly opens his beak, then closes it again. He doesn't argue. He just watches Kris closely.

Noelle shifts in her seat, voice small. "You don't… you don't like presenting. You never have."

The pull tightens.

"I said I'll do it." Kris snaps—too fast, too sharp. Their voice doesn't sound like theirs for half a second, and they hate that Susie notices.

Susie doesn't back off.

"Kris," she says, lower now. "Look at me."

They don't.

"You're shaking," Noelle whispers.

Kris inhales sharply, then exhales through their teeth. "I—"

Their voice catches. Stops.

For a moment, nothing comes out.

The pressure spikes. Say it, say it, commit, lock it in— and something in Kris pushes back.

It hurts. Not physically. Just… deep. Like resisting gravity.

"I…" They swallow. Try again. "I don't… want to."

Susie's expression shifts instantly. "Okay, then don't."

Kris shakes their head, frustrated. "It's not that simple."

Noelle leans forward. "Kris… you can tell us. We won't get mad."

Kris laughs weakly. "That's not what I'm worried about."

Silence stretches.

Berdly gives them a small patient smile, which seems to calm them.

"Sometimes," they say slowly, choosing each word. "I agree to things before I… before I can stop myself."

Susie frowns. "Like… people pressure you?"

"…Not exactly."

The pull flares again, like a warning.

Don't go further.

Kris winces, hand flying to their temple. For a split second, their mouth opens, and then they shut it hard.

"N-No-" They mutter. "I can't— I just—"

Susie stands up fully now. "Hey." She says. "You're not in trouble."

Noelle nods quickly. "We just want to understand."

Kris breathes. In. Out. Again.

"I don't like… being watched." They manage. "Talking when everyone's looking at me. It feels like I disappear."

That's as close as they can get.

It's enough.

Noelle smiles softly. "Then we won't make you do that."

Susie crosses her arms. "Yeah. Screw the outline. We'll change it."

Berdly nods immediately. "Agreed. The presentation can be restructured. Your comfort is statistically more important to group performance."

Kris lets out a shaky breath they didn't realize they were holding.

"…Thanks." They say quietly.

The pull recedes. Not gone, but weaker. Bruised.

Susie grins, trying to lighten it just a bit. "See? Democracy. Nerd edition."

Noelle laughs softly.

Berdly adjusts his glasses. "So. Revised roles. Kris handles visual coordination and slide transitions. Non-verbal. I'll bridge verbally where needed."

Kris nods. "That… that works."

And for the first time that night, when they look up, they don't feel quite so alone at the table.

Berdly clicks through the final slide, eyes scanning it three times. "Alright. Citations are consistent. Visual hierarchy is acceptable. Transitions are smooth. I believe—" he pauses, dramatic, "—we are done."

Kris leans back in their seat, exhaling. "Done?"

Noelle brightens instantly. "R-Really? We're actually finished?"

Susie sighs. "Cool. Great. Awesome." She lifts her head just enough to glare at all of them. "I'm starving."

Berdly doesn't even look surprised. "You are always starving."

"It's called having a metabolism." Susie snaps. "Look it up."

Kris tilts their head. "You said that an hour ago."

"And I was right then too."

Noelle giggles, covering her mouth. "You ate chalk like… twenty minutes ago."

"That was a snack, Noelle." Susie says gravely. "I need a meal."

Berdly sighs, already reaching for his phone. 

"Statistically speaking, group morale improves significantly when Susie is fed."

"See?" Susie points at him. "The nerd gets it."

"I resent that." Berdly says. "But yes. Pizza?"

The answer is immediate and unanimous.

---

 

The pizza arrives faster than expected, still steaming when Berdly's mom calls up the stairs, far too loudly for them to come get it.

She insists on greeting them again, insists on asking if they're sure they're eating enough, insists on telling an embarrassing story about Berdly at age seven and his ”phase where he insisted on wearing a cape indoors.”

"Mom." Berdly hisses, blushing from embarrassment. "Please."

Kris watches with mild amusement. Susie grins like she's storing this for later blackmail. Noelle smiles politely, even as she looks a little overwhelmed.

Eventually, they retreat to the couch, getting seated.

Susie opens the first one like it's sacred. "God bless pizza."

Berdly adjusts the lights, dimming them just enough. "So. Since the project is complete, I propose a recreational activity."

Susie squints. "You mean not homework?"

"Yes."

"…I'm listening."

Berdly gestures to the TV. "Horror movie."

Noelle stiffens immediately. "A— a horror movie?"

Susie grins, sharp and mischievous. "Oh, absolutely."

Kris shrugs. "Sure."

Noelle looks between the three of them. "Wait. You're all… okay with that?"

Berdly pushes his glasses up. "Fear is merely an overstimulation of the amygdala."

Susie snorts. "Translation: it's fake. Relax."

Noelle does not relax.

"C-can't we watch a Christmas movie?"

"No."

---

 

Ten minutes in, and it's already very clear who this movie was a bad idea for.

The lights flicker on-screen. Something creaks ominously.

Noelle yelps.

She jumps so hard she nearly spills her drink, grabbing the nearest solid object, which unfortunately happens to be Susie's arm.

Susie startles, not from the movie, but from suddenly having a trembling deer latched onto her. "...You okay?"

"I— I thought— it moved—!"

Kris doesn't even blink. Berdly calmly eats another slice of pizza, struggling to lick cheese off of his beak, which Kris helps him with, wiping it off his beak with their thumb.

Berdly chirps and goes red, clearing his throat.

Another ominous sound. Another jump.

Noelle squeaks again, scooting closer to Susie without even realizing it.

Susie pretends not to notice. She absolutely notices.

"Wow," Susie mutters, deadpan. "You're really brave."

Noelle buries her face against Susie's shoulder. "S-Stop making fun of me…"

"I"m not," Susie says, tone softening despite herself. "It's kinda cute."

Noelle freezes. "…It is?"

Susie shrugs, eyes still on the screen. "Yeah."

Noelle does not move away.

By the halfway point, Noelle has fully relocated. Knees tucked up, head pressed against Susie's arm, fingers gripping the fabric of her jacket.

Every jump scare earns another startled noise, another reflexive clutch.

Susie never pulls away.

At one point, a particularly loud sting hits, and Noelle actually lets out a small scream, hiding her face completely.

Susie snorts. "Wow. That bad?"

"I hate this," Noelle whimpers.

"You want me to turn it off?" Susie asks, a little quieter.

Noelle hesitates. Then shakes her head. "…No. Just... don't move."

Susie smirks. "Bossy."

Kris glances over, expression unreadable but fond. Berdly notices too, though he says nothing, just rewinds slightly when Susie complains she missed a scene because Noelle screamed too loud.

"Hey!" Noelle protests weakly.

"Blame your lungs." Susie replies.

By the time the credits roll, Noelle is half-asleep against Susie, exhausted from being scared out of her mind.

"That wasn't even scary," Susie declares, stretching.

Noelle groans. "You're lying."

Berdly pauses the screen. "Objectively, the narrative relied too heavily on auditory jump scares."

Kris nods. "Yeah. This was... Mid."

"Agreed."

Noelle lifts her head slightly, blinking. "…You're all monsters."

Susie laughs, low and warm. "C'mon. You survived."

"Barely."

Susie glances down at her, then, carefully, wraps an arm around Noelle's shoulders.

Noelle stiffens for half a second. Then melts.

"…Thanks." She murmurs.

Susie doesn't answer. But she doesn't let go either.

She and Noelle curl up together on the couch, pizza boxes stacked like a leaning tower on the coffee table. The TV hums softly on a frozen credits screen, blue light washing the room. At some point, Susie's head tips back and she's out cold, arm still loosely around Noelle's shoulders. Noelle blinks sleepily, careful not to move, cheeks warm but expression soft.

Berdly notices first.

He glances at the clock. Late. Later than he meant it to be.

"Kris," he says quietly.

They look over from where they're half-slouched in an armchair, legs tucked up, eyes a little glassy with tiredness. "Yeah?"

Berdly lowers his voice. "It's… pretty late. I should probably— well..." He hesitates, then straightens, pushing his glasses up with a finger. "I can walk you home. If you want."

Kris blinks. Processes. Then nods. "Okay."

It's simple. Casual. Too casual for how Berdly's chest tightens.

They move carefully, gathering jackets, slipping shoes on without waking Susie or Noelle. Berdly's mom is already asleep, the house is wrapped in that quiet that only comes after a long day.

Outside, the night air is cool and calm.

Streetlights cast long shadows across the sidewalk as they walk side by side. At first, neither of them talks. Their footsteps fall into an easy rhythm, not rushed, not slow.

"So," Berdly says eventually, trying for light. "Tomorrow."

Kris hums. "Tomorrow."

"I recalculated our timing," he continues, a little too fast. "If we stick to the revised structure, we should be well within the allotted presentation window. Minimal risk of interruption."

Kris smiles faintly. "You've thought about this a lot."

"That's… my job," Berdly says, then adds quickly, "Well. Not my job. But. You know."

They walk another block.

"I think it'll go okay," Kris says. "Thanks. For backing me up earlier."

Berdly swallows. "Of course. I—" He stops himself, exhales. "You did great today. Just… showing up."

Kris's shoulders loosen a fraction. "You too."

They pass Sans' store, and Berdly makes a quiet comment about how Sans probably wouldn't even notice if someone robbed the place at this hour. Kris snorts, actually snorts, and the sound hangs between them, warm and surprising.

"Wow," Berdly says. "I have successfully made you laugh... Achievement unlocked!"

Kris stares Berdly down for a moment, before laughing out loud. "Achievement unlocked??" They say between giggles.

"OKAY, it's not THAT funny." Berdly said, laughing silently as well.

They reach Kris's house sooner than either of them expects.

Their house stands quiet, porch light on, windows dark. Berdly slows, then stops a few steps from the door.

"Well," he says, suddenly very aware of where his hands are. "This is you."

"Yeah."

Neither moves right away.

Kris adjusts their sleeve, then hesitates, before lightly catching Berdly's wrist. Not gripping. Just… there. Grounding.

Berdly stops breathing for half a second.

He looks down at where they're touching him, then back up at Kris. "…Hey. You okay?"

Kris nods, but they don't let go. Their thumb shifts slightly, almost absentmindedly, brushing the inside of his wrist where his pulse is too easy to feel.

"Just—" Kris exhales. "Didn't want you to leave yet."

The words are quiet. Honest in a way that makes Berdly's chest ache.

"Oh," Berdly says, stupidly.

The night feels closer somehow. The streetlamp hums. Somewhere down the block, a car passes, but it feels far away.

Berdly swallows. "I can… stay a minute."

Kris's shoulders relax, just a little.

They don't say anything else. They don't need to.

Their hands stay connected, the silence stretching comfortably instead of awkwardly. Berdly becomes acutely aware of every small thing—the warmth of Kris's skin, the way their fingers curl slightly like they're afraid to drop him, the fact that he doesn't want them to.

He risks a glance at their face.

Kris is looking at him already.

Not intense. Not dramatic. Just open. Tired. Soft around the edges.

For a split second, Berdly thinks, If I lean in—

He doesn't.

Kris doesn't either.

Instead, they both look away at the same time, like they've silently agreed that whatever that was can exist without being named.

"…Guess we're both wiped," Berdly says, forcing a small laugh.

"Yeah," Kris replies. "Long day."

They loosen their grip, fingers sliding reluctantly from his wrist. Berdly feels the loss immediately, like the night air got colder.

Kris steps back toward the door. "Thanks. For walking me."

Berdly nods, hands awkward at his sides. "Anytime. Really."

Kris unlocks the door, then pauses, hand still on the knob. They glance back over their shoulder. "Goodnight, Berdly."

His heart does something dumb.

"…Goodnight, Kris..."

The door closes softly behind them.

Berdly stands there for a moment longer than necessary, staring at the porch light, his wrist still warm where they touched him.

When he finally turns to head home, he tells himself, firmly, that it was just exhaustion.

That explanation feels thinner with every step.

Chapter 10: Presentation Day

Morning comes slowly.

Not with an alarm, but with the low hum of the refrigerator downstairs and pale light sneaking through the blinds. The living room looks exactly like the aftermath of a small, contained disaster. Empty pizza boxes stacked crookedly on the table, a blanket half-slid onto the floor, the TV still paused on the final frame of last night’s horror movie.

Susie wakes first.

She groans quietly, rolling onto her back and staring up at the ceiling. Her neck hurts. Her jacket is bunched awkwardly under her shoulder. She smells like cold pizza and fabric softener that definitely isn't hers.

"…Ugh."

She turns her head.

Noelle is still asleep beside her, curled up on the couch like she belongs there. Her hair is a little messy, one hand tucked under her cheek, breathing slow and even. There's a faint crease on her forehead, like she'd been frowning in her sleep—but it smooths out as Susie watches.

Susie looks away quickly.

She sits up, stretching her arms over her head, joints popping quietly. Her gaze drifts around the room, instinctively checking for movement.

Nothing.

No Kris. No Berdly. Quiet.

Good.

She reaches for her phone.

The screen lights up immediately.

Her stomach drops.

11 unread messages.

All from the same contact.

Susie doesn't open them yet.

She locks the screen again with a sharp tap and exhales through her nose, jaw tightening. Her leg starts bouncing on its own, restless energy buzzing under her skin.

She glances back at Noelle.

Not now.

She stands, careful not to jostle the couch too much, and pads quietly toward the kitchen. The floor creaks anyway, this house creaks like it’s alive, but Noelle doesn't wake.

Susie leans against the counter, phone heavy in her hand.

Still doesn't open it.

---

 

Noelle wakes a few minutes later, disoriented at first.

She blinks at the unfamiliar ceiling, then the room clicks into place all at once.

"Oh—!"

She sits up quickly, hand flying to her mouth.

Oh no.

She scrambles for her phone, nearly tangling herself in the blanket. The screen lights up and her heart sinks.

Missed calls. Texts.

"Shoot, shoot, shoot—" she whispers, already sliding off the couch.

She looks around, spots Susie in the kitchen, and hesitates. "I—I forgot to call my mom."

Susie glances over, expression unreadable. "Yeah. You probably should."

Noelle winces. "She's probably so worried…"

She steps into the hallway, pulling her phone to her ear as it rings. Once. Twice.

"Noelle?" Carol's voice comes through immediately. Tight, controlled, the way it always gets when she's worried. "Where are you?"

Noelle winces. "I—I'm so sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to worry you. I fell asleep. We were working on the project and—"

"You didn't call," Carol says, not yelling, but not gentle either. "You didn't text. I woke up at three in the morning and your bed was empty."

"I know," Noelle says quickly. "I know, and I'm really sorry. I should've— I just didn't think it would get so late."

There's a pause.

"…Whose house?" Carol asks.

"B-Berdly's," Noelle answers. "His mom was home the whole time. She made cookies and everything, I promise."

Another pause. Longer this time.

"…You should have told me," Carol says finally, voice softer now, but edged with disappointment. "I don't like not knowing where you are."

"I know. I won't do it again," Noelle says, earnest. "I swear."

Carol exhales. "You're lucky I trust you. And lucky that I know his mother."

"I am," Noelle says quietly. "I really am."

"Be home straight after school," Carol continues. "No detours. No last-minute plans."

"Yes, Mom."

"And Noelle?" Carol adds.

"Yes?"

"…I'm glad you're safe."

Noelle's shoulders finally relax. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The call ends.

Noelle stays there for a moment, phone pressed to her chest, breathing out slowly. Her stomach still twists a little. Guilt, mostly, but there's relief too. She turns back toward the kitchen, ready to apologize to Susie again for forgetting to tell her mom.

And freezes.

Susie is leaning against the counter, phone unlocked now.

Her face is pale.

Not shocked. Not surprised.

Just… tight. Controlled. Like she's holding something back with both hands.

Noelle doesn't see the screen yet.

Susie does.

The messages stack on top of each other, timestamps crawling forward through the night.

 

Where the fuck are you.

You think you can ignore us?

Answer your phone. Now.

 

Susie scrolls.

 

You don't get to sleep wherever you want.

You wanna act grown? Then deal with the consequences.

 

Another scroll.

 

Get your ass home or don't bother coming back.

You're not welcome if you're gonna pull this shit.

 

Her jaw clenches harder.

 

The last few messages are newer. Closer together.

 

We know you're awake.

Don't make this worse.

You're really pushing it this time.

 

One more.

 

You're dead when you get home.

 

Susie locks the phone. Hard.

Her hands shake. Just a little.

She stuffs her phone back into her pocket like it burned her.

Noelle steps closer, tentative. "Susie…?"

Susie turns too fast. "It's fine."

Noelle flinches. "I— I didn't mean— I just wanted to say my mom wasn't mad. She was worried, but she—"

"That's great," Susie says, forcing a grin that doesn't reach her eyes. "Really. Good for you."

Noelle hesitates. Something feels… off. "Are your parents—?"

"They're pissed," Susie says bluntly. "Nothing new."

She grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and twists the cap off too hard, spilling a little onto the counter.

Noelle watches her, confusion knitting her brow. "But… they know you were with us, right? Working on the project?"

Susie snorts. "Yeah. They know."

She doesn't elaborate.

Noelle nods slowly, not quite getting it, but trusting Susie when she says it's "nothing."

"If you want, you can come home with me for a bit after school," she offers. "Just until things calm down."

Susie looks at her.

Really looks at her.

For half a second, something raw flashes across her face. Hope, maybe, or longing.

Then it's gone.

"…We'll see." She says.

The kitchen falls quiet again.

Footsteps creak on the stairs.

Berdly appears a moment later, already dressed for school. Button-up neat, tie slightly crooked like he adjusted it three times and still wasn't satisfied. His feathers are neatly straightened.

He pauses when he sees them.

"Oh-" He says, blinking behind his glasses. "You're… still here."

Noelle straightens immediately. "G-Good morning!"

Susie lifts her chin in acknowledgment. "Sup."

Berdly glances at the clock, then back at them, gears clearly turning. "…Right. Morning. I, uh—" He clears his throat. "I was about to make breakfast."

Susie perks up instantly. "Define ‘breakfast.’"

"Actual food," Berdly says. "Eggs. Toast. Fruit. Not—" he gestures vaguely, "—whatever qualifies as breakfast in your household."

Susie scoffs. "Hey. Cold pizza is a classic. Wait— eggs???"

Berdly sighs. "I know. I had this conversation with Kris before. I am not a chicken. I can have eggs."

Susie laughs at him.

Noelle smiles. "That sounds really nice, Berdly. Are you sure?"

Berdly waves a hand. "Statistically speaking, group performance increases when nutritional needs are met. And since we're presenting today, it's in everyone's best interest."

"Wow." Susie says. "You're feeding us for academic reasons. Romantic."

Berdly flushes. "That is not—"

"I'm kidding." She smirks. "Mostly."

They gather around the table as Berdly moves around the kitchen with practiced efficiency. It's clear he's done this a hundred times before. Cracking eggs cleanly, flipping them with precision, lining plates up like he's assembling something important.

Noelle watches, impressed. "You're really good at this."

"Of course I am," Berdly replies automatically. Then, softer, "My mom insists I learn practical life skills."

Susie mutters, "Must be nice..." Under her breath.

Noelle doesn't catch it.

They eat together, the quiet comfortable now. Susie wolfs her food down like she's afraid it might disappear. Noelle eats neatly, sipping juice between bites. Berdly actually slows down when he notices them keeping pace.

"So," Noelle says after a moment, "are you nervous about the presentation?"

Berdly adjusts his glasses. "Nervous is an inefficient term. I would say… alert."

Susie snorts. "That's a yes."

"I'm not nervous," Berdly insists. "We're prepared."

Noelle nods eagerly. "We really are. And Kris did such a good job on the slides."

"They always do," Susie says, without thinking.

There's a brief pause.

Berdly nods. "Yes. They did."

The silence isn't awkward. Just… noticeable.

Susie pushes her plate away, satisfied. "So. We picking them up or what?"

Noelle brightens. "Oh! That's a good idea. We should make sure they didn't oversleep."

Berdly checks the time again. "It would be efficient. And considerate."

Susie grins. "Look at you, caring."

Berdly huffs. "I care about punctuality."

"Sure you do."

They start gathering their things, bags slung over shoulders, jackets pulled on. Susie pauses near the door, fingers brushing her pocket where her phone is.

She doesn't take it out.

Noelle doesn't notice.

Berdly grabs his keys. "Alright. Let's go get Kris."

The morning light spills over them as they step outside together.

---

 

The walk to Kris's house is quiet at first.

Just early-morning quiet, the kind where the town hasn't fully woken up yet. Noelle walks a little closer to Susie than usual. Berdly keeps adjusting the strap of his bag, mentally running through talking points. Susie kicks a pebble down the sidewalk like it personally offended her.

They stop at the familiar house, lights already on inside.

Berdly steps forward first, clearing his throat before knocking.

The door opens almost immediately.

"Oh!" Toriel says warmly, smiling down at them. She's already dressed for the day. "Good morning, everyone."

"Good morning!" Noelle says quickly.

"Hey," Susie adds.

Berdly straightens. "Good morning, Ms. Dreemurr."

Toriel's smile widens. "How lovely to see you all together. Are you here to walk Kris to school?"

"Yes, ma'am," Berdly says. "We have a group presentation today."

"Kris has been working so hard." Toriel says proudly.

Susie mutters. "Yeah, they've been killing it."

Toriel turns around. "Kris? Your friends are here, dear."

Footsteps sound on the stairs.

A moment later, Kris appears at the bottom of the stairs, backpack already slung over one shoulder. They pause when they see all three of them standing there together.

"…Hey," Kris says.

Noelle smiles instantly. "Good morning!"

"Morning," Susie says. "You ready to be academically destroyed?"

Kris exhales through their nose. "Always."

"Have a good day," Toriel says softly. "And remember, do your best. That is all anyone can ask."

Kris nods. "I will."

Toriel opens the door wider. "Good luck today, everyone."

They step back outside together, the door closing gently behind them.

---

 

The walk toward school feels different.

Berdly breaks the silence first. "Alright. Quick recap. Noelle opens. I cover the analysis. Susie handles applications. Kris manages transitions and visuals. Minimal verbal contribution."

Susie shoots Kris a sideways look. "You don't have to say shit if you don't want to."

"That's… a way to put it," Berdly says.

Kris nods, fingers curled around their bag strap. "I know."

Noelle glances at them. "You don't even have to look at the class if it helps. You can look at us."

Kris gives a small, appreciative smile. "Thanks."

Susie grins. "Yeah. Just imagine everyone else is, like, mannequins or something."

"That does not help," Kris mutters.

Susie shrugs. "Worth a shot."

They reach the school.

Kris slows for half a step, breath catching.

Berdly notices immediately, matching their pace without comment.

"We've got this," Noelle says, quietly but firmly.

Susie cracks her knuckles. "And if anyone laughs, I'll eat them."

"…Please don't." Berdly says.

Kris lets out a shaky breath and keeps walking.

Together.

They eventually make their way to school, getting to class. They're a tad bit early, but it gives them time to prepare. Once the school day has started they're immediately the first up to present.

They're standing next to Berdly at the front, laptop open. Noelle and Susie are in their designated spots, looking calm, or as calm as Susie ever looks without something catastrophic happening.

Kris swallows. The Soul stirs beneath the surface, coiling like a shadow around the edges of their consciousness. It whispers, faint but insistent.

Kris feels their stomach drop. Their hands tighten around the edge of the laptop. They breathe through their nose, trying to steady themselves.

Berdly notices nothing yet. He's adjusting the slides, muttering to himself under his breath. "Let's see… title slide, introduction… yes. Flow intact."

Susie leans over to Noelle, whispering just loud enough for Kris to catch. "Bet they won't even notice Kris isn't talking. Typical."

Kris's chest tightens further. It pounces immediately.

”See? They already think you're useless. Everyone will see it. Everyone always sees it.”

Kris's fingers twitch. They grip the laptop harder.

Berdly looks up. "Everything alright, Kris?"

Kris forces a small nod. "Yeah. Good."

Berdly nods back and turns to the class. "Let's begin."

Noelle steps forward first, voice trembling just slightly as she clears her throat. "Good morning. Today, our project focuses on the historical development of…" She gestures to the slides, talking. "We'll walk through the major milestones, the analysis, and finally, the applied significance."

Kris shifts on their feet and bites their lip. Every muscle in their body is tense. They hear the words loud and clear, even louder than their own voice.

Susie leans over slightly. "Go, Noelle. Crush it."

Noelle glances at her, nods, and continues. "First, we'll look at the historical milestones…" Her voice is steady, but Kris sees the flicker of nerves in her fingers, the tiny tremble as she turns the slide.

Berdly steps in smoothly. "I will be covering the data analysis segment." His hands move with precision across the laptop and the clicker. He speaks with confidence, but every so often he glances at Kris. He knows Kris is there. He knows Kris is watching.

The Soul hisses at Kris.

Kris feels a pulse in their throat, a tightening in their chest. Their tongue feels thick. They take a shallow breath, trying to keep their eyes on the slides, on Berdly's hands, on Noelle's carefully poised fingers turning pages of her notes. They can do this. They have to.

Susie starts her section next, bounding up with a grin.

"Alright, now for the fun part. Applications! I guess"

The class chuckles lightly, the tension easing slightly.

Kris almost smiles. Almost. The Soul whispers again, sharp.

“They're laughing at you. Not with you. You're a joke. Don't even try.”

Kris's hands twitch at their sides. They resist the urge to step back. They have to. Berdly's gaze is steady, supportive. Noelle's is warm. Susie's grin is impossible to resist, even if it's laced with her usual teasing.

Susie gestures at Kris, a subtle cue. "Slides?"

Kris swallows hard. Their voice is trapped. Not theirs.

”You won't speak. You never speak.”

Kris forces their legs to move forward. They click the laptop. Slides transition. Their hands move mechanically, exactly as they practiced, but their inner voice is screaming.

Susie narrates over it with an exaggerated flourish.

"And here we see the result of their hard work. Amazing, right?"

Noelle giggles. "Um.. I can do the talking—"

Kris's heart stutters. They grip the edge of the desk. Breathe shallow. The world narrows. Each word from Susie, each calm line from Noelle, each precise calculation from Berdly, is both comforting and unbearable.

Kris moves to the next slide. Susie notices and smirks at the small victory, whispering under her breath "See? You're already doing better than you think."

Kris's lips twitch into something that might be a smile, or maybe it's tension. Berdly doesn't comment. He just keeps the flow going, guiding when necessary, smoothly bridging the content.

Noelle takes a breath before her concluding remarks. "And finally, the significance of these findings shows" Her voice wavers once, but she catches it, steadying herself. "We can see clear patterns emerging that will inform future research."

”Just stop.”

Kris feels sweat prickling at their forehead. Their hands shake slightly, clicking slides on cue, but every nerve screams.

"And that concludes our presentation."

The words barely register. Kris feels drained, every muscle screaming for relief. They haven't spoken a word voluntarily, haven't breathed freely.

Noelle beams, Susie grins triumphantly, Berdly exhales in quiet satisfaction, everyone is congratulating each other.

Kris nods, lips pressed together, feeling hollow. They let the Soul quiet down finally. Their hands slump to their sides. Heart still racing, but alive. Barely.

No one notices the storm inside them.

They're silent as the group packs up. Berdly pats them on the shoulder. "You did well. Visually and technically. That's all I could ask for."

Susie whispers teasingly, "You didn't even die. Bonus points."

Kris tries to respond. Can't. Words get caught. It still lingers faintly, reminding them of its presence, lingering, twisting, but they resist.

Noelle notices something, her brows furrowed. "Kris… are you okay?"

Kris only nods slightly, forcing their weight to be neutral, as if nothing happened.

They're together, but Kris feels like they just ran a marathon without moving.

By the time they leave the room, the presentation is over.

It's over.

They did it.

Susie is the first to speak.

"Well," she says, slinging her bag over her shoulder, grinning like she just won a fistfight. "Nobody booed. Nobody passed out. I didn't punch anyone. I'm calling that a win."

Noelle laughs, a breathy little sound that still carries relief in it. "Susie—"

"I'm serious," Susie continues. "We crushed it."

Berdly nods, adjusting his glasses, posture still stiff but clearly less tense than it was ten minutes ago. "Objectively speaking, our presentation met all rubric criteria. Cohesive structure, clear analysis, effective visuals—"

He glances at Kris.

"—and excellent technical execution."

Kris blinks.

"…Okay." They say.

It comes out quieter than they mean it to. Just one word. Almost lost under the noise of the classroom.

But Berdly hears it.

Noelle does too.

She smiles at Kris, warm and sincere. "You really did great. I know… that was probably hard."

Kris nods.

Susie squints at them, expression shifting from smug to something more observant. "You alive in there?"

Kris shrugs.

"Cool," Susie says. "Blink twice if you need me to kill someone."

That earns a faint huff of air from Kris's nose. Not quite a laugh. But close.

They start packing up together, movements slow and slightly disjointed on Kris's end. Their hands still feel heavy, like they belong to someone else. The Soul is quiet now. Mercifully so. But the echo of its presence lingers, a pressure behind the eyes, a dull ache in their chest.

Berdly is the first to speak up. "So, gaming sesh at mine?"

"Oh—" Noelle says softly. "I… I have to go home right after school."

Susie tilts her head. "Huh? Why?"

"My mom," Noelle replies, apologetic. "She told me this morning. No stopping anywhere."

Susie nods, casual, but her shoulders tense almost imperceptibly. "Yeah. Makes sense."

Berdly frowns slightly. "That is… unfortunate. But understandable. ...Kris?"

Kris snaps their head up. "...huh?"

"You coming to mine? Gaming?"

Kris hesitates, blinking a few times, somewhere else entirely. "Um. Yeah."

Noelle smiles. "Okay. I'll see you guys tomorrow?"

Kris nods again.

She lingers for a moment, clearly wanting to say more, then doesn't. She gives Susie a quick hug, waves at Berdly, and heads out.

The hallway feels emptier after that.

They don't talk much at first.

The three of them move through the school together, the adrenaline from the presentation wearing off in uneven waves. Susie's confidence deflates just a little with every step toward the exit. Berdly seems deep in thought, replaying moments of the presentation in his head, already analyzing what could've been improved.

Kris just… walks.

Their head feels fuzzy. The lights are too bright. The chatter too loud. But they're upright. They're moving.

That's something.

Outside, the air is cool and sharp, grounding.

Susie cracks her knuckles. "So. That was a thing."

"Indeed." Berdly says. "And statistically speaking, the most stressful portion of the day is now behind us."

Susie laughs, sharp and humorless. "Yeah. Lucky us."

She shoves her hands into her pockets.

Kris notices the way she avoids looking at her phone. They don't comment.

Berdly smiles. It's small. Real.

---

Berdly's house

 

Berdly's room is loud within minutes.

Controllers click. The TV flashes bright colors. The menu music blares a little too cheerfully for how drained all three of them are.

"Alright," Susie says, plopping onto the floor, legs crossed. "Mario Kart. No mercy."

"Objection," Berdly says. "Mercy is inefficient."

"Exactly."

Kris sits between them on the bed, controller warm in their hands. At first, they're quiet, focused, eyes tracking the screen, body reacting on instinct.

The first race starts.

Susie immediately drives off the edge.

"WHAT—"

Berdly laughs. Actually laughs. "Skill issue."

"Shut the FUCK up BERDLY." Susie snaps. "I got distracted."

Kris snorts.

Susie whips around. "Oh, now you're laughing?"

"...Maybe."

The second race goes better. Worse, actually. Kris and Susie decided to play as a team. Blue shells fly. Kris screams. Susie accuses Berdly of cheating. By the third race, they're leaning forward, shouting without thinking.

"Susie, left— COME ON! LEFT—"

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

"ITS A FUCKING SHORTCUT!"

She veers straight into a banana peel.

"…Okay, that one's on me." Susie mutters.

Berdly cackles. "Justice."

Kris laughs. Loudly.

It surprises them.

It surprises Berdly too. He glances over, just for a second, but doesn't say anything. Doesn't make it weird. Just admires their laugh.

They keep playing.

Switching games. Button mashing. Shouting. Losing. Winning. Accidental elbowing. Insults that aren't meant to hurt.

Somewhere along the way, Kris starts talking more. Not a lot. But more.

The weight in Kris's chest loosens with every minute.

---

Later, when they're sprawled on the floor, exhausted and sweaty and laughing too hard at nothing, Susie goes quiet again.

Her phone buzzes.

Once.

Twice.

She doesn't look at it.

Berdly notices this time.

"…You do not appear relaxed." He says carefully.

Susie shrugs, forcing a grin. "I'm fine."

Kris sits up slowly.

They don't ask. They don't need to.

"You can stay here. With us." Kris says quietly.

Susie looks at them.

"…Yeah?"

"If you want."

Susie exhales. Long. Shaky. "…Yeah. I do."

Berdly nods immediately. "Of course."

They don't bring up the messages. They don't need to.

The game menu hums quietly in the background as the evening stretches on. Loud, messy, imperfect, and safe.

For now.

---

 

The sky has shifted by the time they finally power everything down.

Berdly stretches, cracking his back. "That was… statistically effective stress relief."

Susie snorts, grabbing her jacket. "Yeah, yeah. Nerd therapy."

Kris stands a little slower, the fatigue settling back into their limbs now that the noise has faded. Their head feels clearer than it did earlier, but heavy, like they've been running on borrowed energy.

Outside, the evening air is cool. The streetlights hum faintly.

They pause on the sidewalk.

Susie rocks on her heels, hands jammed into her pockets. She looks… reluctant. Like she's trying not to think about where she's headed.

"…Thanks," she says finally, not looking at either of them. "For letting me hang out."

Berdly blinks. "You did not require permission."

"Still," Susie mutters.

Kris shifts their bag on their shoulder. "…You okay?"

Susie meets their eyes.

For just a second, the grin drops.

"…Yeah," she says, lying badly. Then she smirks. "I mean. I survived group projects. I'll survive anything."

Kris nods. They don't push.

They step closer, awkwardly bumping shoulders with her instead of hugging. Susie stiffens, then relaxes.

"Later, Kris," she says. "Don't do anything dumb."

"…I won't." Kris replies. "You too."

Susie grins. "Heh. No promises."

She waves once, sharp and casual, then turns and heads down the street, boots heavy against the pavement.

Kris watches until she's gone.

Then they turn the other way.

---

 

Home is warm.

It feels unreal how gentle it is after the day they've had.

Kris opens the door quietly.

"Hello?" Toriel calls from the kitchen. "Is that you, my child?"

"…Yeah," Kris says.

They slip their shoes off, set their bag down. The smell of something familiar, cinnamon, maybe, hangs in the air.

Toriel appears in the doorway, wiping her paws on a towel, smiling. "You're home later than usual."

"Project." Kris replies. "Then Berdly."

"Oh, right!" She says, eyes lighting up. "How did it go?"

Kris hesitates.

Their chest tightens. not painfully, just… full. "…It went okay. We presented."

Toriel's smile widens. "I'm proud of you."

The words land gently. They don't feel like pressure. Just… warmth.

Kris shrugs, staring at the floor. "I... didn't say much."

"That's alright," Toriel says immediately. "You don't have to speak a lot to do well. You showed up. That matters."

Kris swallows.

"…Susie came with me after," they add, almost as an afterthought. "We played games."

"That sounds fun." Toriel says. Then, softer, more perceptive, "You look tired..."

Kris nods.

Toriel steps closer, resting a hand on their shoulder. "Why don't you go get comfortable? Dinner will be ready soon."

"…Okay."

Kris goes upstairs, closing the door behind them.

For the first time all day, the quiet doesn't feel loud.

They sit on the edge of their bed, breathing slowly.

Tomorrow can wait.

For now, they're home. Safe.

At least they are.

---

 

Susie walks slower the farther she gets from the lights.

Her boots scrape the pavement, uneven, lazy kicks that don't line up with her steps. The neighborhood changes as she goes, houses closer together, lights fewer, porches darker.

Her phone is heavy in her pocket.

She doesn't take it out. She doesn't need to.

The last message is burned into her brain.

“You're dead when you get home.“

Now, with her house in sight, fear spikes.

The porch light is on.

That's never a good sign.

Susie slows to a stop across the street, debating to turn around, run away to a different town, sleep on a bench, anything.

"Whatever." She mutters to herself. "Get it over with."

She crosses the street.

Each step feels louder than the last.

The door opens before she can knock. Her mom is standing there.

She's already angry.

Not surprised. Not confused. Angry in that sharp, coiled way, like she's been waiting, building momentum.

"Where the hell have you been?" Her mom snaps.

Susie opens her mouth. Closes it. Shrugs.

"Out." She says.

Wrong answer.

Her mom's face twists. "Out." She repeats, mocking. "You think that's cute?"

Susie steps inside without being invited. The door slams shut behind her. The sound echoes too much in the narrow hallway.

"I texted you," her mom says, voice rising. "Did you think I wouldn't notice you didn't come home?"

Susie drops her bag by the wall. "I was with friends."

That earns her a laugh. Not amused. Sharp.

"Friends," her mom spits. "You think I give a shit?"

Susie keeps her eyes on the floor. The carpet is worn thin near the door, fibers flattened from years of pacing.

Her mom steps closer.

"You're skipping responsibilities. You're embarrassing me. And you don't even have the decency to answer your phone."

"I didn't skip—"

Her mom's voice cracks like a whip. "Don't talk back."

Susie flinches despite herself.

The air feels smaller.

Her mom paces, hand dragging through her hair as she takes a drag of her blunt. "Do you have any idea how this makes us look?"

Susie swallows. "I told you I had a project."

"You didn't tell me anything!" Her mom snaps. "You disappear. You lie. And then you stroll in like nothing happened."

Susie's hands curl into fists at her sides.

She doesn't say what she's thinking.

She wishes it had been nothing.

Her mom stops pacing.

That's worse.

She turns slowly, eyes cold. "Do you think you can just do whatever you want?"

Susie shrugs again. It's instinct. Defense. It always makes things worse.

Her mom steps forward so fast Susie barely has time to register it.

"Don't you shrug at me."

The first shove isn't hard.

But it's enough to send Susie stumbling back a step, shoulder hitting the wall.

Her breath leaves her in a sharp exhale.

Her mom's voice is louder now. "I should call your father."

The words hit harder than the shove.

Susie freezes.

Her heart slams against her ribs.

"No—" She says immediately. Too fast. Too scared.

Her mom smiles.

That's the worst part.

"Oh?" She says. "You don't want that?"

Susie shakes her head, jaw clenched so tight it hurts. "Please."

Her mom's eyes glitter. "Then maybe you should remember your place."

She steps closer again. Susie presses herself back against the wall, palms flat against the peeling paint. Her mom grabs her arm. Not violently, but firmly, nails digging in just enough to hurt.

"You think you're tough?" Her mom hisses. "You think running around with those freak kids makes you something?"

Susie bites the inside of her cheek. She tastes blood.

Metallic. Warm.

Her jaw aches from how tightly she's holding it shut. She doesn't move. She doesn't breathe right.

Her mom's voice keeps going, words blurring together, sharp and relentless, but Susie isn't really hearing them anymore. She's counting instead. The ticks of the old clock in the living room. The hum of the fridge. The distance between this moment and something worse.

Then—

The front door opens.

Her stomach drops.

Her mom straightens instantly, fury rearranging itself into something colder. More deliberate.

Susie's head snaps up.

Footsteps. Heavy ones. Familiar ones.

Her dad's home.

"Finally," her mom says, loud enough for him to hear. "Your daughter decided to show up."

Susie's blood turns to ice.

Her dad appears in the doorway, coat still on, face already set in irritation. He looks at Susie like she's something he stepped in.

"What now." He says.

Her mom doesn't hesitate.

"She thinks she can ignore us," she snaps. "Disappears all night. Mouthy. Acting like she doesn't answer to anyone."

Her dad exhales sharply through his nose. "Is that so?"

Susie's fingers dig into her palms.

She shakes her head. "No— I—I I had school—"

Her mom cuts her off. "Don't you dare lie."

Her dad steps closer.

Each step feels like the floor tilting.

"You hear that?" He says. "Still talking back."

Her mom folds her arms. "Handle it."

That word handle hits harder than anything else. Or so she thought.

Susie's vision blurs.

"No." she says, the word tearing out of her before she can stop it. "Please—"

Her dad doesn't raise his voice.

That's worse.

He reaches out.

The first hit is sudden. Fast.

A sharp crack of sound. The world jerks sideways.

Susie stumbles, catching herself on the edge of the table. Her ears ring. Her face burns with the same familiar pain.

Her dad looms over her. "You think you can say no to me?"

Her mom watches from the side, expression tight, satisfied in a way that makes Susie's throat close.

"I told you." Her mom says. "She needs discipline."

Susie doesn't hear the next words clearly.

Everything narrows to noise and instinct.

Another shove. She nearly falls.

"Get up."

She does. Because not getting up is worse.

Her heart is pounding so hard she feels dizzy. Her hands won't stop shaking. She tastes blood again. Cheek, lip, she doesn't know.

She doesn't look at them.

She doesn't cry.

She doesn't give them that.

Eventually, she's not sure how long, it stops. Her dad steps back, breathing hard, like he's the one who's been wronged.

"Go." her mom says sharply. "Get out of my sight."

Susie doesn't need to be told twice.

She bolts.

She grabs her jacket from the hook, yanks the door open, and runs. Every step hurts. Every bit of weight put on her left leg sending her into pain. She sobs, pain stinging both inside and out.

Cold air slams into her lungs.

She doesn't stop running until her chest burns and her legs start to give out. Streets blur past. Houses. Trees. Nothing looks familiar anymore.

She doesn't know where she's going.

She just knows she can't go back.

By the time she slows, she's shaking violently, adrenaline crashing all at once. Her hands are numb. Her jaw aches from clenching it.

She stumbles toward a park.

The benches are empty. The swings creak faintly in the wind.

She collapses onto one, curling in on herself, jacket pulled tight. Her breath comes out in ragged bursts.

She laughs once.

It sounds wrong.

Her phone buzzes in her pocket. She doesn't check it. She doesn't need to.

She stares up at the sky instead.

Clouds roll slowly overhead. The air smells clean. Too clean for what just happened.

She tells herself she'll just rest for a minute. Just until her hands stop shaking.

Snow starts falling sometime after that.

At first it’s light. Barely noticeable. Just cold flecks melting against her skin. Then it gets heavier.

Susie doesn't move. She's too tired.

The bench grows colder beneath her. Snow dusts her jacket, her hair, the tops of her boots. Her breath fogs weakly in front of her face.

Her eyes flutter shut.

Snow settles quietly over her shoulders as the night deepens.

No one comes.

And Susie sleeps.

Freezing.

Chapter 11: Frozen Tears

Susie wakes up because she can't feel her hands. That's the first thing, before fear, before pain, before thought. Just the wrongness of it. The absence. Like her body forgot to bring parts of itself back online.

Her eyes crack open.

Gray sky. Bare branches. A bench that feels like stone pressed into her spine.

Oh.

Right.

Her breath leaves her in a sharp, panicked gasp, and the cold finally registers all at once. It slams into her chest, her throat, her skull. Every inhale hurts. Every exhale fogs weakly in front of her mouth.

She tries to sit up.

Her muscles don't listen.

They lag, stiff and sluggish, like they've rusted overnight. A wave of dizziness rolls through her, sudden and violent, and she has to clutch the edge of the bench to keep from tipping forward onto the ground.

"—gh," she croaks.

Her voice sounds wrong. Rough. Too quiet.

Snow slides off her jacket and onto the ground as she moves. There's more of it than she expected dusting her shoulders, clinging to her hair, melting slowly into the fabric of her clothes. She must've been out here for hours.

Her teeth start chattering before she even notices they're doing it.

Her stomach twists.

Nausea creeps up slow and mean, curling under her ribs. She swallows hard, breathing through her nose, trying not to gag. Her mouth tastes like metal.

"Idiot", she thinks dimly. "Stupid. Stupid."

She presses her palm against her forehead. It's burning, feverish, even as the rest of her feels numb and cold.

"Get up", she tells herself. "Get up or you're gonna pass out."

That does it.

Fear, real fear finally punches through the haze.

Not the sharp, angry kind she's used to. This one is quiet. Cold. Practical.

She can't stay here.

She forces herself to stand.

The world tilts violently the moment she's upright. Her vision spots white, then black around the edges. She staggers, boots slipping on thin ice, and barely manages to catch herself on the back of the bench.

She retches dryly, gagging once, twice, but there's nothing in her stomach to come up. Just a painful heave and a sour burn in her throat.

"...shit..." She mutters.

Her legs feel like they don't belong to her. Like someone swapped them out while she was asleep. Every step is clumsy, delayed, wrong.

She doesn't check the time. She doesn't need to.

The sky is pale. Morning, or close enough.

School morning.

That thought sends another spike of nausea through her.

Noelle.

Her chest tightens.

For half a second, just half, she considers it. Going to Noelle's. Knocking on the door. Pretending everything is fine. Pretending this didn't happen.

The image falls apart immediately.

Noelle would see her.

Noelle would ask questions.

Noelle would look at her with that soft, worried expression that cuts deeper than yelling ever could.

And then there's Carol. And then there's school. And then there's adults. And then—

No.

She shakes her head hard, like she can dislodge the thought entirely.

Kris, a quieter part of her suggests.

Her steps slow.

Toriel's face flashes through her mind. Warm. Kind. Concerned.

Concerned enough to ask questions. Concerned enough to get involved. Concerned enough to make things worse.

Susie swallows, throat aching.

Can't do that.

Her hands are trembling now, not just from the cold. From everything else trying to crawl out of her chest at once.

She needs somewhere she can disappear for a bit. Somewhere warm. Somewhere with walls that don't belong to her parents.

Her mind circles the thought before she can stop it.

...Berdly.

She almost laughs.

It comes out as a breathy huff that hurts her ribs.

"Wow," she mutters to herself. "That's… low."

Berdly is safe. Berdly is predictable. Berdly is, unfortunately, easy.

The realization sits heavy in her stomach.

She knows she could do it. Knows exactly how. He'd panic a little, puff up, try to be smart about it, but he'd help. He always does. Especially if she looks at him like she needs it.

The thought makes her feel gross.

But the cold seeps deeper into her bones, and the nausea won't go away, and she's so, so tired.

"I'll be nice." She thinks. "Just this once."

She starts walking.

Each step is slow, deliberate. She keeps her arms tight around herself, shoulders hunched, teeth still chattering faintly. The streets are quiet this early. Too quiet. It makes everything feel louder inside her head.

By the time she reaches Berdly's block, her hands are numb again. Her fingers don't feel like they work right when she curls them into fists.

She stops in front of the house and stares at the door.

Her reflection is faint in the glass.

She doesn't like what she sees.

Her face is pale, eyes rimmed red, hair a mess from snow and sleep and everything else. There's a bruise blooming along her jawline she hadn't let herself think about yet.

She lifts her hand.

It takes her three tries to knock.

The sound echoes too loudly in her ears.

She waits.

Her stomach flips over itself again. Panic claws up her throat. What if he doesn't answer? What if he does?

The door opens.

Berdly blinks at her from behind his glasses, feathers still a mess, minecraft shirt wrinkled like he got dressed in a hurry.

"…Susie?" He says. "It's— are you aware of what time it is?!"

She opens her mouth. Nothing comes out.

For a terrifying second, she thinks she might cry right there on his doorstep.

She swallows hard and forces words up from somewhere deep and ugly.

"Hey," she says, voice hoarse but careful. Gentle. Not her usual bite. "Uh. Sorry. I just— can I come in?"

Berdly frowns, already scanning her like something doesn't add up. "You look… unwell."

"Yeah," she says quickly. Too quickly. "I, uh. I didn't sleep. Long story."

She gives him a weak grin. It feels wrong on her face. Like she stole it.

"Can I just—hang out for a bit? I'll stay outta your way. Promise."

Berdly hesitates. She can see the gears turning. Concern warring with confusion.

"…You're freezing," he says finally. "You're visibly shivering."

"Perks of my personality," Susie mutters.

He sighs. "That is not how thermodynamics work."

Then he steps aside.

"Come in." He says. 'Before you catch hypothermia or something equally inefficient."

Relief crashes through her so hard it almost knocks her over.

She steps inside, warmth hitting her like a wave. Her knees wobble.

"Thanks," she says quietly.

Berdly closes the door behind her, already fussing. "Do you require medical attention? I can fetch blankets. Or tea. Or—"

"I'm good." She interrupts, then immediately softens it. "I mean. Tea's fine. If that's okay."

He nods, clearly relieved to have something to do. "Yes. Tea is… manageable."

As he turns toward the kitchen, Susie's shoulders slump.

Susie doesn't realize she's sagging until Berdly turns back around.

He's holding a mug in both hands, steam curling up toward his face. He opens his beak, probably to launch into some overly formal reassurance, and then stops.

Because Susie's shoulders have dropped.

Not in her usual lazy, defiant slouch. This is different. Like something inside her finally gave up pretending it could hold itself together.

"Susie," Berdly says slowly. "You appear to be… malfunctioning."

She huffs out a weak breath. "Wow. Thanks."

But she doesn't lift her head.

The warmth is seeping into her skin now, and it's making everything worse. The cold had kept her sharp, upright, moving. This makes her bones feel heavy. Makes the exhaustion sink in deep.

Berdly sets the mug down on the table without taking his eyes off her. He steps closer, hesitant, like he's approaching a skittish animal.

"You are shaking," he says. "And your posture suggests—"

"I'm fine," Susie snaps automatically.

The word comes out too loud. Too fast.

She flinches at her own voice.

Berdly freezes. "…You are not," he says after a beat. Not accusatory. Just factual.

Susie squeezes her eyes shut.

Her jaw tightens. She bites down, hard, like she can physically clamp the words back inside her chest.

It doesn't work.

Her breath stutters.

"Don't." She mutters. "Don't do that thing."

"What thing?"

"That—" She gestures vaguely at him without looking. "That look. The one where you're about to ask questions."

Berdly frowns. "Questions are a fundamental component of—"

"Just— stop." She cuts in, voice cracking. "Please."

That gets his attention.

He goes quiet.

The silence stretches. It's thick, uncomfortable, filled with the sound of Susie's uneven breathing and the faint hum of the house waking up around them.

She keeps her arms wrapped tight around herself, fingers digging into the sleeves of her jacket. Her nails scrape against fabric, searching for something solid.

"I shouldn't be here." She says suddenly.

Berdly blinks. "You are already here."

"That's not what I mean." She laughs, sharp and humorless. "I mean... I shouldn't have come. This is— this is messed up."

He tilts his head. "Explain."

She shakes her head hard. "See? That. That's what I'm talking about."

Her voice is starting to wobble now, no matter how much she tries to keep it steady. It pisses her off. Makes her stomach twist with frustration.

"I know what I'm doing," she mutters. "I know this is— this is a cheap move."

"A cheap move implies strategic manipulation," Berdly says. "Which would require you to be thinking clearly."

She snorts despite herself. It comes out half a sob. "God, you're annoying."

"And yet," he says gently, "you came here..."

That does it.

Something in her chest cracks open. Not all at once, but enough for everything inside to start leaking out.

She drags a hand down her face, fingers catching briefly on the bruise along her jaw. The touch is light, instinctive.

Berdly notices immediately.

His eyes narrow behind his glasses.

"…What happened to your face?"

Susie's hand drops.

She stares at the floor.

"Nothing," she says. The lie is automatic. Worn smooth from overuse.

Berdly doesn't respond right away.

When he does, his voice is quieter. "That injury appears recent."

She swallows.

Her throat feels tight. Raw.

"I said it's nothing."

"Susie," he says, firmer now. "I am not an idiot."

She laughs again, but this time it breaks completely.

"Yeah," she whispers. "I know. Nerd..."

Her shoulders start to shake. She hates it. She hates that it's happening here, in front of him of all people. Hates that she can feel herself slipping, control peeling away layer by layer.

"I'm not trying to—" She stops, breath hitching. Tries again. "I didn't come here to dump this on you."

"And yet," Berdly says softly, "you are dumping this on me."

She presses her lips together, eyes burning.

"…I didn't have anywhere else to go," she admits.

There it is. The truth, bare and ugly.

Berdly's expression changes. Not dramatically, not with pity, but with understanding.

"Did something occur at your residence last night?" He asks.

Susie's hands curl into fists.

She nods once.

It's barely visible.

His chest tightens. "Are you safe?"

The question hits her harder than any accusation could have.

Safe.

She lets out a shaky breath. "I ran." She says. "Does that answer it?"

Berdly goes very still.

"…You ran away."

"Not like— forever," she rushes to add, panic spiking at the thought of what that sounds like. "I just— I couldn't stay. I slept outside."

His eyes widen. "Outside."

"Yeah," she mutters. "Bench. Park. Whatever."

"Susie," he says, voice strained now, "it was snowing."

"I know," she snaps. Then softer, bitterly, "I noticed."

He runs a hand through his feathers, glasses slipping slightly down his beak. "That is… extremely dangerous."

"Wow," she says weakly. "You're telling me."

She finally looks up at him. Her eyes are red-rimmed, exhausted, furious at herself for being seen like this.

"I knew if I went to Noelle, she'd freak out," she says quietly. "And if I went to Kris, Toriel would get involved. And that'd just" She shakes her head. "Make it worse."

"So you came here," Berdly says.

She nods. "Because you're… safe."

The word hangs between them.

"And because," she adds reluctantly, "I knew you wouldn't tell."

Berdly's jaw tightens.

"Susie," he says carefully, "that is a concerning assessment of my moral framework."

She lets out a breathy laugh. "I know. I'm sorry. That was shitty."

She wipes at her eyes with the heel of her hand, smearing moisture across her cheek.

"I just needed somewhere warm," she whispers. "Just for a bit. I didn't mean to—"

Her voice breaks completely this time. "I didn't mean to fall apart."

Berdly stands abruptly.

For a split second, panic flares in her chest. great, that's it, I pushed too far—

But then he grabs a blanket from the couch and drapes it around her shoulders with awkward care.

"There," he says. "That is… step one."

She blinks up at him, stunned.

"…You're not mad?"

He hesitates. "I am… distressed."

"Same thing."

"No." He says firmly. "It is not."

He meets her eyes, expression uncharacteristically serious.

"You are not manipulating me..." he says. "You are seeking shelter. That is not a moral failing."

Her throat tightens again.

"…You sure?" she asks quietly. "Because I kinda feel like garbage."

"That is likely a symptom of trauma and hypothermia," he replies. "Not an ethical conclusion."

A weak, broken laugh slips out of her.

"God," she mutters. "You're such a nerd."

"And yet," he says gently, "I am still here."

She sinks down into the chair, clutching the blanket around herself. The last of her resistance drains out of her all at once.

"They hate me." She says suddenly.

The words spill out flat, exhausted, stripped of drama. "My parents. They— no matter what I do, it's wrong. I breathe wrong. I exist wrong..."

Her hands tremble again.

"I try to stay out of the way. I really do. But it's never enough."

Berdly listens.

Doesn't interrupt. Doesn't correct. Just listens.

"They said I was dead when I got home," she whispers. "And they weren’t joking."

Her voice cracks on the last word.

"I was scared," she admits, tears finally sliding down her face. "I don't get scared. But I was. I— I am. I don't.. I don't want to go home."

Berdly's chest aches. "...Then stay here. My mother will understand."

He stands in front of her, awkward and unsure, but steady.

She lets out a broken sob and leans forward, forehead dropping against his shoulder.

He stiffens, then, slowly, carefully, places a hand on her back.

Just there.

Holding.

And Susie finally lets herself cry.

She doesn't know how long she cries.

Time stretches weirdly when she's like this. It could be minutes. It could be forever. Her face is pressed into Berdly's shoulder, the fabric of his shirt damp and warm, and her breath keeps hitching in these ugly, uneven pulls she can't control.

She hates it.

She hates that she's shaking.

Hates that she's clinging to HIM of all people. It could've been Noelle. It could've been Kris.

But she doesn't stop.

Berdly doesn't move.

At first, he's rigid, like he's afraid even breathing too hard might break something. Then, slowly, so slowly she almost doesn't notice his hand settles more firmly against her back. Not rubbing. Not patting. Just there. Solid. Unwavering.

Eventually, the sobs lose their edge.

They turn into quiet, broken breaths. Little hiccups she tries to swallow down and fails.

"This is so fucking stupid... Sorry."

Berdly's answer comes immediately. "It is not."

She sniffs, scrubbing her face against her sleeve and pulling back just enough to breathe without choking. Her eyes are red and swollen, her nose running. She looks awful.

He doesn't comment on it.

He reaches for the mug he'd abandoned earlier and nudges it toward her. "It is… lukewarm now." He says apologetically. "But still functional."

She lets out a weak, tired huff and takes it with both hands. The warmth seeps into her palms, making her fingers ache as feeling slowly creeps back in.

"Thanks." She murmurs.

They sit there for a while. The house is quiet except for the faint ticking of a clock and the hum of the heater kicking on and off.

After a minute, Berdly speaks again, his voice low. "You do not need to apologize for reacting to harm."

Her jaw tightens.

"I'm not reacting." She says automatically. "I'm just— tired."

"That may also be true," he replies. "They are not mutually exclusive."

She stares into the tea like it might offer answers if she looks hard enough.

"…I didn't mean to tell you all that." She admits. "About last night."

"You did not mean to," he repeats. "And yet you did."

She shrugs one shoulder. "Guess I slipped."

"Or," Berdly says gently, "you reached a limit."

That makes her chest ache again.

She shifts in the chair, pulling the blanket tighter around herself. Her gaze drifts to the floor, to the faint scuff marks near the table legs.

"They're not always like that." She says suddenly.

The words feel rehearsed. Automatic. Like something she's said a hundred times before.

"They can be… normal. Sometimes. Especially when other people are around. And they're off drugs. And booze."

Berdly doesn't interrupt.

"They're real good at that." She continues, voice flatter now. "Acting nice. Acting like I'm the problem."

Her fingers tighten around the mug.

"And I am," she adds quickly. "Sometimes. I know I am. I don't make it easy."

"Susie..." Berdly says, firmer now, "being difficult is not justification for harm."

She flinches at the word.

Harm.

"I don't want anyone else to know." She says. "Especially not Noelle."

"Because you wish to protect her?" Berdly asks.

"And because," Susie adds, voice cracking again as a blush creeps on her face. "I don't want to be looked at like I'm broken."

She sighs heavily, shaking.

"I don't wanna go back today." She murmurs.

"You will not," Berdly says, without hesitation.

She cracks one eye open. "You sure about that?"

"Yes," he replies. "I am… stubborn."

She huffs. "Yeah. I noticed."

Silence settles again.

This time, it's gentler.

Her breathing evens out slowly. The shaking fades to something manageable.

They talk about nothing important.

School, Susie's rough interests, A dumb game Berdly's been obsessed with lately that Susie pretends not to care about but somehow knows way too much about. At some point, she complains about the way his couch smells like “old nerd books,” and he counters by accusing her jacket of harboring at least three illegal substances.

It's… normal.

Susie's posture loosens bit by bit. She leans back into the chair properly this time instead of perching like she might bolt. Her voice steadies. She even laughs, short and rough, but real.

For a while, it almost feels like a regular morning.

Almost.

Berdly watches her over the rim of his now-cold tea, mind working quietly. He's choosing his next words carefully, weighing them the way he does with everything that matters.

"…May I ask you something?" He says at last.

Susie squints at him. "That sounds dangerous."

"It is," he admits. "Socially."

She snorts. "Shoot, Professor."

He hesitates again. Just a beat too long to be casual.

"…What," he begins, then clears his throat, "is the precise nature of your relationship with Noelle?"

Susie freezes. Completely. Like someone hit pause on her.

Her ears burn instantly.

"What—" she starts, then stops. "Why the hell are you asking that?"

"It is… relevant."

She splutters. "To what??"

"To," he says carefully, "the way you speak about her. The way you avoid certain topics. The way your voice changes when her name is mentioned."

Her mouth opens. Closes.

She looks away sharply, cheeks darkening. "That's—creepy. You're creepy."

"I prefer observant."

She drags a hand down her face. "God. I don't—" She groans. "I don't know, okay?"

Berdly tilts his head. "You do not know what you are to each other?"

"Exactly," she snaps, then immediately deflates. "I mean, yeah. That."

She picks at a loose thread on the blanket, suddenly very interested in it. "She's… important. That's all."

"That is not all," he says gently.

Susie groans again, louder this time, and slumps back. "Why do you care?"

He opens his mouth to answer— And she points at him, eyes narrowing. "Actually. No. No, screw that."

She straightens, color still high on her face, and jabs a finger in his direction. "What about you and Kris?"

Berdly nearly drops his mug. "I—what?"

"Oh, don't play dumb," Susie says, smirking now despite herself. "You do that same thing. The voice thing. The looking away thing. The ‘I'm totally not overthinking this’ thing."

"That is categorically untrue."

She raises an eyebrow. "You say their name like it's gonna bite you."

He opens his beak, closes it, and adjusts his glasses.

"…That is irrelevant."

She laughs. Really laughs this time, sharp and bright.

"Wow. So that's a yes."

"It is not," he insists, flustered. "We are merely... collaborating."

"Uh-huh."

"In a strictly platonic capacity."

"Sure."

"With… mutual respect."

Susie grins wider. "You're blushing."

"I am not!"

"You so are."

He crosses his arms defensively. "You are deflecting."

"Yeah," she says easily. "And you walked right into it."

They stare at each other for a second.

Then, somehow, they both laugh.

It's awkward. It's messy. It's the kind of laughter that comes from tension finally finding somewhere harmless to go.

Susie wipes at her eyes, still smiling faintly. "Guess we're even."

Berdly exhales, the tightness easing from his shoulders. "It appears so."

The room settles again, softer than before.

"…For the record," Susie adds after a moment, quieter now, "don't tell anyone about Noelle. Please."

He nods immediately. "I won't."

She studies his face, searching for something. Whatever she finds there seems to satisfy her.

"…Thanks," she says.

"Anytime."

"...I guess you're not that bad after all."

"...You too."

Berdly checks the time and winces.

"…We are approaching the threshold where attendance becomes statistically questionable."

Susie groans, dragging the blanket over her head. "Five more minutes."

"It has already been five more minutes. Twice."

She peeks out at him, hair sticking up, eyes bleary but sharper than they were an hour ago. "You always this bossy in the morning?"

"I am efficient," he corrects. "There is a difference."

She sits up slowly, joints cracking, then swings her legs over the side of the chair. The movement makes her sway just a little, enough that Berdly notices.

"You okay?" he asks, quieter than usual.

"Yeah. I think so."

He nods, accepting that for what it is.

They move around each other awkwardly as the morning gets going, Berdly handing her a towel like it's a formal exchange, Susie drying her shirt and jacket, since they were still damp from melted snow. She glares at herself in the bathroom mirror, then shrugs like she doesn't care and splashes water on her face anyway.

When they step outside together, backpacks slung on, the cold bites. But it's different than last night.

Manageable. Survivable.

They meet Kris and Noelle at the corner.

Noelle brightens immediately when she sees Susie. "Oh! There you are! I texted you like three times..."

"Phone died." Susie lies smoothly, jamming her hands into her pockets. "You worry too much."

Noelle laughs, relieved, and Kris gives Susie a look. Long, unreadable, but doesn't press.

The day moves on.

---

 

The week blurs.

Classes. Notes half-listened to. Noelle brings in candy canes on Wednesday. On Thursday, a vending machine at ICE-E'S eats Susie's money and she almost commits a felony over it.

They fall into a rhythm.

Susie starts showing up early. Too early, sometimes. Berdly pretends not to notice when she lingers in the library before school, pretending to read. He never tells her to leave.

Noelle and Kris exchange looks across classrooms when Susie's laughter sounds a little forced. They don't say anything. Not yet.

Kris grows quieter as the week wears on, the way they always do when something's coming up. The Soul presses in occasionally, small moments, stiff pauses, but they keep moving. Keep breathing.

By Friday, everyone's exhausted.

The final dismissal feels like a blessing.

They spill out of the building together, shoulders bumping, laughter loose and tired. Snow threatens again, light flakes drifting down like the town itself is winding down.

"That's it," Susie says, stretching her arms overhead. "I'm free. I'm never coming back."

"You will be back in January..." Noelle points out.

"Don't ruin this for me."

Berdly adjusts his scarf, clouds forming as he speaks. "The end of the week is an illusion. Time is cyclical."

Susie squints at him. "You ever just shut up and enjoy things?"

"…Rarely."

They laugh anyway.

"So," Noelle says, hugging her coat closer. "Christmas plans?"

Kris shrugs. "Dinner. Movies. Mom's already decorating."

Susie snorts. "Figures."

Berdly hesitates, then says, "My mother insists on hosting a… very aggressive New Year's brunch."

Susie grins. "Aggressive food is the best kind."

Noelle smiles, eyes bright. "Maybe we could all do something? Before school starts again?"

The suggestion hangs there, fragile and hopeful.

Kris nods first. "I'd like that."

Berdly clears his throat. "It would be… agreeable."

Susie kicks at the snow, then smirks. "Yeah. Sure. Sounds cool."

They head down the street together, winter closing in around them, carrying plans they don't quite know how to make yet, but want to try anyway.

Notes:

Happy new years everyone !! :))

Chapter 12: Festive Lights

Notes:

I've been meaning to write this chapter before Christmas but didn't have the time. I hope it's enjoyable nonetheless !! :)

It's 8 AM on a snowy December 25th.

The main 4 had previously discussed plans for their holidays off, and finally decided on spending both Christmas and New Year's at Noelle's.

Christmas comes to Hometown quietly.

Snow dusts the sidewalks in uneven patches, clinging to fence posts and mailboxes. Lights flicker on porches that don't usually bother. Somewhere down the street, someone's playing Christmas music too loud, off-key and enthusiastic.

Noelle loves it.

She's been up since dawn, as she went to visit her father, Rudy, in the hospital, for Christmas. Now she's pacing between the living room and the kitchen, checking the clock every few minutes like it might lie to her. The house smells like cinnamon and pine cleaner. Her mom has already left for a holiday shift, double pay, she'd said, apologetic but firm, so the house is quiet except for Noelle's own excitement.

She smooths out the tablecloth for the third time and glances at the door.

"They should be here soon," she murmurs to herself, smiling.

Kris arrives first, coat buttoned wrong, hair still slightly damp like they didn't fully dry it. They hold a small paper bag in one hand, crumpled from being gripped too tightly.

"Hi!" Noelle says, a little too loud. "You made it!"

Kris nods, stepping inside, eyes flicking over the decorations. Garland on the banister, ornaments carefully spaced, a tree that looks like it was fluffed and refluffed until it reached some internal standard of perfect.

"…It's nice..." They say, quietly.

Berdly follows a minute later, scarf coordinated with his sweater in a way that looks suspiciously intentional.

"Festive." He declares, adjusting his glasses. "Very… aggressively festive."

Noelle laughs. "That's kind of the point."

Kris and Berdly exchange a look. Neither of them hate Christmas, exactly. They just don't… feel it. Not the way Noelle does. For them, it's heavy. Memories. Expectations. Too much quiet, or too much noise. But they're here. That counts.

They sit. Talk. Noelle brings out cookies shaped like reindeer that look almost too cute to eat. Berdly critiques the frosting symmetry. Kris listens more than they talk, hands wrapped around a mug they haven't sipped from yet.

"So," Noelle says after a bit, glancing at the door again. "Susie should be—"

The knock comes right on cue.

Noelle nearly trips over the rug getting to it.

Susie stands on the porch, jacket half-zipped, breath fogging the air. She looks… off. Not bad, exactly, but tight. Like she's holding herself together with muscle memory alone.

"Hey." She says.

Noelle beams. "You made it!"

Susie nods, stepping inside. The warmth hits her all at once, and she shivers, not from the cold.

"Sorry I'm late," she mutters. "Had to… do something."

Kris looks at her more closely. Berdly pauses mid-sentence.

Susie drops onto the couch, elbows on her knees, hands clasped together like she’s bracing for impact.

Noelle doesn't push. She just sits beside her, close enough that their shoulders almost touch.

---

 

Earlier, much earlier, Susie hadn't planned on bringing anything.

She'd told herself Noelle wouldn't care. That just showing up would be enough. That gifts were stupid anyway.

But the thought stuck. Wormed its way in. Noelle's face lighting up over the smallest things. The way she'd saved candy wrappers like they mattered.

So Susie went home, despite already having a small gift.

The house was quieter than usual. Too quiet. The kind that makes your skin crawl because you know it won't last.

She went straight to her room, heart pounding, and dug through the loose floorboard where she kept what little money she had left. Crumpled bills. Coins. Enough for something.

Her hand was still under the board when the door creaked open.

"What are you doing?"

Her mom's voice. Sharp. Suspicious.

Susie froze.

"Nothing," she said automatically, standing too fast. "Just— cleaning."

Her mom's eyes dropped to the floorboard. Then back to Susie. Then to the open drawer.

"You stealing now?" She snapped. "From us?"

"No." Susie said. "It's mine."

"That so?"

Her mom laughed once, humorless. Reached into the closet.

Susie didn't even understand what she was seeing at first.

The shape. The metal. The way it was held— loose, careless, but deliberate.

A weapon.

Her brain went white.

"I said don't touch shit that isn't yours," her mom said, voice suddenly low. "You think you can just take what you want and run off?"

Susie couldn't breathe.

She didn't know it was fake. Didn't know it was a prop, or unloaded, or anything but wrong and final. Even if it wasn't pointed directly at her.

"I—I just needed—" Her voice cracked.

Her mom stepped closer.

"Pull this shit again," she said softly, "and you won’t like what happens."

Something in Susie snapped.

She bolted.

Just ran, heart slamming against her ribs like it wanted out, cold air burning her lungs as she didn't stop until she was three streets away.

She didn't look back.

Now, sitting on Noelle's couch, surrounded by lights and warmth and the smell of sugar and pine, Susie's hands still won't stop shaking.

Noelle notices. Gently, she reaches over and laces their pinkies together.

Susie stiffens, then exhales, just a little.

Berdly clears his throat. "So. Christmas activities. I was informed there would be… games?"

Noelle brightens immediately. "Yes! I have a bunch, we can start with something simple."

Kris nods, but their eyes stay on Susie.

Susie stares at the tree, jaw tight, forcing herself to breathe in time with the blinking lights.

The mood shifts slowly, the way it always does when people stop hovering around the thing that's wrong and start orbiting the things that are right.

Noelle insists on starting with board games.

Not the competitive ones, either, the cozy kind. The kind with cartoon animals and pastel colors and rules that take longer to explain than to actually play. She spreads everything out on the coffee table with the care of someone laying out a ritual.

"Okay," she says, clapping her hands once. "Everyone ready?"

Berdly peers down at the pieces. "Define ready. Because I feel like I'm about to be ambushed by whimsy."

Susie snorts despite herself. "You'll live, bird brain."

Kris shrugs and sits cross-legged on the floor.

The first round is chaos.

Berdly tries to optimize a game that absolutely does not require optimization. Noelle apologizes every time she does something mildly inconvenient to someone else. Kris forgets whose turn it is twice. Susie pretends not to care and then gets weirdly invested the moment she starts losing.

"HEY," Susie protests, pointing at the board. "You moved that piece."

"No, I moved this piece," Berdly corrects, pushing his glasses up. "Entirely different—"

Susie reaches across the table and flicks his forehead.

"Ow—! That was uncalled for!"

"Consider it a holiday bonus."

Kris laughs. It's quiet, but it's real.

Noelle notices. Her smile softens.

As the games go on, Susie loosens. Not all at once, nothing dramatic, but enough that the tension in her shoulders eases. Enough that she leans back into the couch instead of perching on the edge. Enough that when Noelle hands her a mug of hot chocolate, she doesn't flinch when their fingers brush.

She drinks it too fast and burns her tongue.

"OW— shit."

Noelle gasps. "Susie! I told you it was hot!"

"I don't listen to warnings." Susie mutters, though she's smiling now, rubbing her tongue against her teeth like it offended her personally.

The snow outside thickens, flakes tapping against the windows in lazy spirals. The lights on the tree blink in warm cycles. Somewhere in the background, a holiday playlist hums softly, instrumental, unobtrusive.

Eventually, Noelle disappears down the hall and comes back with a small stack of wrapped gifts.

Susie stiffens again.

"Oh—uh," Noelle says quickly, noticing. "Only if you want! No pressure, I just thought it might be nice."

Kris and Berdly exchange a look.

"…We did bring stuff," Berdly admits, reaching into his bag.

Kris nods and pulls out their own parcel, wrapped in plain brown paper with a slightly crooked bow.

Noelle's eyes light up like she's been handed a winning lottery ticket.

She passes out gifts with ceremony, insisting everyone wait until everyone has one.

Susie stares at the small, unevenly wrapped box in her hands like it might explode.

"Okay," Noelle says, bouncing on her heels. "Now!"

Paper rustles.

Susie pockets her own gifts, then opens her present from Noelle first, and smiles stupidly. A bracelet. Bronze, with a gold deer in the middle. It looks expensive.

She stands there for a moment, shocked, blushing.

"Oh— that's— wow. I—"

She immediately tries to put it on, struggling with the little clasp, swearing silently.

"Here—"

Noelle reaches over, helping her. Susie stares, blushing and smiling widely, before suddenly awkwardly hugging her. "...Thank you. I love it."

Noelle flinches, but quickly melts into the hug. "I'm glad you do..."

Berdly and Kris watch, giving eachother a knowing look.

The two finally break apart from eachother and Susie hands Noelle her gift. She opens hers, and immediately gasps.

It's small. Cheap. Clearly bought with whatever change Susie could scrape together. A simple little keychain, felt and thread, hand-stitched into the shape of a reindeer. A bit lopsided. One eye slightly higher than the other.

"I— uh," she says quickly. "I know it's kinda dumb. I didn't really have a lot, and— sorry, it's cheap."

Noelle doesn't hear any of that.

She's already clutching it to her chest.

"Oh my god," she breathes. "Susie! It's perfect!!"

Susie blinks. "It is?"

"You made this," Noelle says, voice thick. "You took time to make this."

Berdly looks up. So that's what that sewing book was for...

Her eyes are shiny. She doesn't try to hide it.

"I'm putting it on my bag," she continues rapidly. "Like. Right now. Everyone's gonna see it. I'm never taking it off!"

Susie's face goes red. All the way to the tips of her ears.

"D—don't be dramatic," she mutters, turning her head away.

But she doesn't pull her hand back when Noelle squeezes it.

Kris opens their gift next, a game cartridge. One they've been eyeing for months but never mentioned out loud.

They look up, startled.

"…How did you know?" They ask.

Berdly shrugs, suddenly very interested in the ceiling. "You, uh. Pause on it every time we pass that one store out of town. For exactly three seconds."

Kris smiles. Soft. Warm. "…Thank you."

Berdly opens his gift, and freezes.

It's the same game. The multiplayer version. The one he'd complained was impossible to find.

"…Kris," he says quietly.

They shrug, mirroring his earlier gesture. "You talked about it a lot."

Berdly laughs, flustered and bright. "W–well! Clearly, your observational skills are finally improving."

Their hands brush when they set the games down.

Neither of them pulls away right away.

Susie watches the whole thing with a sideways grin. "Wow. You two are gross."

"False." Berdly says. "This is peak platonic gift exchanging."

Kris snorts.

Noelle leans her head against Susie's shoulder, still holding the keychain.

They exchange more gifts together.

For a little while, just a little, the world feels quieter. Safer. Like nothing bad can reach them through the snow and lights and laughter.

And Susie lets herself believe that, too.

---

 

They talk for a while.

Noelle claps her hands once, again, eyes sparkling. "We should make cookies!"

Susie squints at her. "That sentence has never ended well for me."

"But it's Christmas," Noelle says, like that explains everything. "And we already have all the ingredients!"

Berdly adjusts his glasses. "I do possess above-average baking knowledge."

Kris tilts their head. "…I can read instructions."

"Perfect!" Noelle beams. "We're unstoppable."

The kitchen becomes chaos within five minutes.

Flour is everywhere. Not in a dramatic explosion, just enough that it dusts the counters, the floor, and somehow Kris's sleeve even though they haven't moved much.

Berdly insists on measuring everything exactly.

"No," he says firmly, leveling off a measuring cup. "If you add more sugar, the chemical balance—"

Susie dumps extra sugar into the bowl anyway. "Oops."

Berdly gasps like she's committed a crime. "You can't just freestyle baking!"

"I absolutely can," Susie replies. "Watch me."

Noelle hovers between them, hands clasped nervously. "Um— maybe a little extra sugar is okay…?"

Kris stirs quietly, unbothered, splattering batter onto the counter with every other motion.

No one stops them.

At some point, Berdly cracks an egg too hard and gets shell in the bowl.

He freezes.

Susie bursts out laughing. "WOW. Genius move."

"I—this is highly irregular." he mutters, fishing out shell fragments with intense focus. "Do not tell anyone."

Noelle smiles softly, passing him a napkin. "It's okay. My mom does that sometimes."

Berdly straightens immediately. "Then it's clearly a common, respectable error."

When it comes time to cut shapes, things get worse. Noelle carefully presses a reindeer cutter into the dough, lifting it like it's fragile glass.

Susie slams down a star cutter and yanks it back up. "Mine's cooler."

"It's missing an arm," Berdly points out.

"That's battle damage."

Kris quietly makes a little blob. No shape. Just… blob.

Noelle peers over. "What is that one?"

Kris considers. "It's— um"

Silence.

"An... ornament?"

"Um…" She giggles. Berdly quietly cackles.

Susie grins. "Woah dude. Best so far.

They load the trays into the oven. Noelle sets a timer. Everyone crowds around the glass door like they're watching a dramatic sports event.

"Rse," Susie mutters. "C'mon."

Noelle looks at her. "Um... It'll take a while... They don't instantly do that."

"Oh, yeah, right."

When the timer goes off, the cookies are— …mostly fine.

Some are lopsided. One looks like it melted into a vague pancake. A reindeer has lost its head entirely.

Berdly stares at them, aghast. "This outcome is… unfortunate."

Susie grins. "They're perfect."

Decorating is worse. In the best way.

Frosting tubes get squeezed too hard. Red icing drips like crime scenes. Sprinkles spill everywhere.

Noelle carefully dots eyes on her cookies, tongue sticking out in concentration.

Susie tries to write words and fails miserably.

"Why does it look like that?" She groans, staring at her cookie.

Berdly squints. "Is that supposed to say joy or jail?"

"Shut the fuck up."

Kris draws little faces on theirs. Tiny smiles. One frown. One that looks suspiciously judgmental.

Susie picks it up. "Why does this one look like it hates me."

Kris shrugs. "It knows."

Noelle laughs so hard she nearly drops her frosting bag.

At some point, Susie gets frosting on her cheek without realizing it.

Noelle gently wipes it away with her thumb, then freezes.

"Oh— sorry," she says quickly, flustered.

Susie blinks, then huffs. "You're fine."

She doesn't move away.

They finally sit down with a plate of cookies that look terrible and taste amazing.

Berdly takes a bite, pauses. "…Okay. I hate that this worked."

Susie raises her cookie in triumph. "Never doubt me."

Kris leans back in their chair, watching the lights blink, the snow fall, their friends laughing with mouths full of sugar and crumbs.

After the cookies cool and are promptly demolished, crumbs everywhere, Susie somehow getting chocolate on her sleeve twice, Noelle insists on doing “something festive but low-effort.” Which mostly means sitting around in the living room, lights dimmed.

They drift between things without urgency.

A short walk outside to look at decorations down the street, Susie complaining about the cold while refusing the scarf Noelle offers, Berdly judging everything, Kris quietly lagging behind just to watch their breath fog in the air.

Back inside, they lounge on the floor and couch, phones out, showing each other stupid videos. Kris finds stupid cat videos and laughs way too hard. Susie immediately rewinds it three times.

"Again," she demands.

Noelle hums along to the soft music playing from the speakers, absentmindedly crocheting. Every now and then, she glances at Susie like she's checking she's still there.

Eventually Susie speaks up. "Okay, we're running outta stuff to do. Come up with something before I start eating ornaments."

Noelle straightens. "We could watch a movie!"

Berdly nods thoughtfully. "Yeah, sure. Why not."

"Horror." Kris says calmly.

Noelle makes a small, distressed noise. "Kris—!"

Susie bursts out laughing. "DO IT. That scream you did last time was legendary."

"I did not scream," Noelle protests, cheeks pink. "I—"

Susie interrupts her. "My ears are STILL ringing."

Kris tilts their head, the barest hint of mischief in their eyes. "…It builds character."

Noelle crosses her arms. "I am not watching another horror movie."

Berdly sighs. "Forcing Noelle into a fear-induced cardiac episode may negatively impact group morale."

Susie snickers. "Buzzkill."

Noelle brightens suddenly. "What about a Christmas movie? You know, since it's... Christmas."

Susie groans. "Ugh. They're all sappy."

"…With romance?" Noelle adds, hopeful.

Susie pauses. "…Fine."

Kris shrugs. Berdly agrees.

And so, of course, they end up with a Christmas rom-com.

They settle in.

Susie sprawls on one end of the couch, boots kicked off. Noelle sits beside her, close but not touching at first. Kris takes the floor with a blanket, back against the couch. Berdly perches on the armchair, then slowly migrates closer until he's sitting on the floor too, shoulder brushing Kris's.

The movie starts. Within ten minutes, Susie is loudly mocking the protagonist.

"Oh my god!" She says. "Just TALK to each other."

Berdly whispers, "Ah, but then the plot would collapse."

Kris leans over slightly. "She's right."

Berdly scoffs quietly. "Traitor."

They whisper back and forth throughout, small commentary, jokes about tropes, predicting plot points.

"Bet you five bucks they kiss in the snow," Kris murmurs.

"Obvious," Berdly replies. "The lighting already foreshadows it."

"...This shit sucks."

"Agreed."

They fist-bump softly.

Halfway through, Noelle's hand inches closer to Susie's. Susie pretends not to notice. Then, eventually, she doesn't pretend at all. Her pinky hooks around Noelle's.

Noelle freezes.

Then relaxes.

The movie drones on, confessions, misunderstandings, swelling music, but the world on the couch gets quieter. Noelle leans in just a bit, her head resting against Susie's shoulder. Susie stiffens for a half-second, then shifts so it's easier.

Her arm slides around Noelle's back.

Noelle exhales, a soft sound, and tilts her face up.

Susie looks down.

There's a moment. Long, suspended. The movie's glow flickers across their faces. Noelle's eyes are warm and hopeful. Susie's are uncertain, but soft.

Then Susie leans in.

The kiss is gentle. Not rushed. Just lips meeting, lingering, warm. Noelle melts into it immediately, hands curling into Susie's jacket like she's anchoring herself.

Susie makes a quiet sound, surprised, pleased, and deepens it just a little. Nothing messy. Just enough to say yeah. This is real.

Berdly notices first.

His eyes widen. He freezes mid-whisper, elbowing Kris lightly. He, subtle as possible, points with his eyes.

Kris follows his gaze.

Their eyebrows lift. Just a fraction.

They glance back at Berdly. A look passes between them. Shock, fondness, and the distinct lack of surprise.

"…About time." Kris whispers.

Berdly nods. "Indeed."

They look away. Give them privacy without making a thing of it.

The kiss breaks eventually, both of them blushing fiercely.

Susie clears her throat. "Uh. Movie's still on."

Susie's voice comes out rough, like she had to scrape it up from her chest and hope it sounded normal. She doesn't pull her arm away. If anything, it tightens a little around Noelle's shoulders, like she's bracing for something.

Noelle barely glances at the screen.

The movie keeps playing, some heartfelt confession scene, swelling music, artificial snow, but it feels distant now, like background noise bleeding in from another room. Noelle's heart is still pounding too loud for her to care about fictional romance when the real thing is sitting right next to her, warm and solid and terrifyingly real.

She swallows.

"Susie?" She whispers.

Susie hums in response, eyes still fixed very deliberately on the TV, blushing furiously.

Noelle hesitates. Then, softly, "What… what does that mean?"

Susie stiffens just a little.

"What does what mean?" She asks, though she knows. Of course she knows.

Noelle fidgets with the sleeve of Susie's jacket, fingers curling and uncurling. "The— the kissing. And the holding hands. And…" She trails off, cheeks burning. "Us."

Susie finally looks at her.

Not sharp. Just… uncertain. Vulnerable in a way she rarely lets herself be.

"I dunno," Susie admits quietly. "I didn't really plan it."

Noelle's stomach dips, not in disappointment, but nerves.

"But," Susie adds quickly, "I didn't hate it. Like. At all."

That helps. A lot.

Noelle lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "Me neither."

They sit there for a moment, the movie's dialogue washing over them, neither really listening. Susie's thumb absently rubs small circles against Noelle's arm, like it's something she's done a hundred times before.

Noelle gathers her courage.

"So… are we…?" She starts, then stops. "I mean, we don't have to label it. I just— I want to know where we're at. I don’t want to assume and mess things up..."

She stares at the screen for another second, then reaches up and gently nudges Noelle's chin so she's looking at her.

"That thing you're doing," Susie says softly, "where you care way too much about my feelings?"

Noelle nods, nervous. "Yeah?"

"I like that," Susie says. "A lot."

Noelle's eyes widen just a bit.

Susie exhales. "I don't know what I'm good at. And I don't know how to do… whatever this is perfectly. But I know I wanna keep doing it. With you."

Noelle's breath catches.

"Really?" She whispers.

Susie nods once. "Yeah. Really."

That's all it takes.

Noelle leans in again, slower this time, giving Susie plenty of room to pull back. She doesn't. Their lips meet in another soft kiss, warmer now, more certain. Noelle's hand slides up to rest against Susie's chest, feeling her heartbeat, fast, but steady.

Susie sighs into the kiss, melting into it like she finally stopped holding herself rigid. She presses one more small kiss to Noelle's lips when they pull apart, then another to the corner of her mouth, like she's testing the waters.

Noelle giggles quietly, cheeks flushed. "You're really bad at pretending you don't like this."

"Shut up..." Susie mutters, but she's smiling.

They settle back into the couch, Noelle half-curled into Susie's side now, the movie completely forgotten. Susie's chin rests lightly on Noelle's head.

Every now and then, Noelle tilts her head up for another kiss, short, sweet, unhurried. Susie meets her every time.

On the other side of the couch, Kris and Berdly pretend very hard to be invested in the movie.

Berdly whispers, "They've missed three major plot points."

Kris whispers back. "Worth it."

The credits roll eventually.

Noelle closes her eyes, smiling, and murmurs, "I don't really care how the movie ends."

Susie squeezes her just a little tighter. "Yeah. Me neither."

---

 

The front door clicks open quietly.

Noelle stiffens first.

"My mom's home." She whispers.

Susie straightens immediately, spine going rigid like she's bracing for impact. The warmth from before doesn't vanish, but it tightens into something cautious. She pulls her arm back just enough to look casual, too casual.

Kris and Berdly both glance up, previously watching YouTube Shorts on Berdly's phone, their back flush against his chest, cuddling just a little.

Carol steps into the living room a moment later. She pauses when she sees them all gathered there, cookies half-eaten, movie credits still rolling.

"Oh," she says. "You have company."

Noelle stands. "Hi, Mom! We were just— um— watching a movie."

Carol's eyes flick briefly to Susie. They linger there a fraction too long before she smiles. Polite, practiced.

"I see," she says. "Susie."

"Hey," Susie replies, short and respectful. She doesn't smile.

Berdly, to his credit, steps forward before it can stretch any further.

"Ms. Holiday," he says, smoothing his sweater. "I hope it's alright, we didn't mean to impose. Noelle was a wonderful host."

Carol turns to him, eyebrows lifting slightly "Is that so?"

"Oh, yes."

Carol stares Susie down.

Susie opens her mouth, then hesitates.

Berdly notices. He steps in again, gently, deliberately.

"Susie's been helping Noelle a great deal lately," he says. "With school. With… confidence."

Noelle's cheeks pink immediately.

Carol studies Berdly, then Noelle, then Susie. Her gaze sharpens, not unkind, but discerning.

"You're close," Carol says.

Noelle nods. "Yes."

"Are you two in a... Romantic relationship?"

Susie swallows.

Carol exhales through her nose, folding her arms. "Okay so that's a yes... I'll be honest. I've had… concerns."

Susie's jaw tightens.

"But," Carol continues, "I can see when my daughter is happy."

Noelle looks at her, surprised.

Carol's eyes soften. Just a little. "I may not understand everything yet. Just like this... But I won't forbid what I don't fully know."

Susie blinks.

"That said," Carol adds, tone firm again, "I expect respect in my house."

Susie nods too. "Yeah. Always."

It's not approval. Not really.

But it’s not rejection, either.

And that's more than Susie expected.

Kris checks the time first.

They don't say anything right away, just glance at their phone, then at the window, where the snow has started to fall a little heavier. Berdly notices immediately.

"…We should probably head out," he says, adjusting his glasses. "Before it gets too late."

Noelle's shoulders droop just a bit. "Already?"

Susie huffs. "It's not like we're disappearing."

Kris nods. "We can hang out again soon."

That seems to spark something in Noelle's mind. Her ears perk up, eyes brightening like she's been waiting for an opening.

"Oh—wait," she says quickly. "Actually, there is something I wanted to ask. All of you."

Berdly pauses mid-step. "Oh?"

Susie looks at Noelle, suspicious but curious. "Uh-oh."

Noelle fidgets with her sleeves for a second, then straightens. "So… New Year's Eve is coming up."

Susie's stomach does a small, unpleasant flip.

Kris tilts their head. "Yeah."

"I was thinking," Noelle continues, words tumbling out a bit faster now, "well... I know we all agreed to, well, hang out, celebrate, watch the countdown, that kind of thing."

Berdly blinks. "Yeah?"

Susie shifts her weight, arms crossing over her chest. She hadn't realized she was holding her breath until now.

"And uh," Noelle adds, softer, "i thought maybe… we could invite our families too? My parents, Dess, Asriel, Toriel, Asgore— I mean, if that's okay!"

The room goes quiet.

Susie's jaw tightens.

Her parents don't fit into this picture. Never have. Never will.

She opens her mouth, then closes it again.

Berdly glances at her, sharp enough to notice the tension, but kind enough not to comment on it directly.

"My mother would enjoy that," he says instead. "She's… enthusiastic about holidays."

Kris nods slowly. "Mom and Dad would love it."

Carol looks around. "...Hey. Speaking of Dess. Noelle, do you know where your sister is?"

"O-Oh— no, I haven't seen her come in tonight."

"Okay then."

Noelle's smile wobbles when she looks back at Susie. "Oh by the way— you don't have to bring anyone," she says quickly. "I just— wanted you there."

Susie exhales through her nose.

"…Yeah," she says after a beat. "I can do that."

Noelle's face lights up.

"Really?"

Susie shrugs, forcing a crooked grin. "Yeah. I'll figure it out."

She hopes her parents won't find out. Or won't care enough to interfere. Or won't bother asking where she is.

She doesn't say any of that out loud.

Berdly smiles, small and genuine. "Then it's settled."

Kris gives a little nod. "…Sounds nice."

Carol, who has been quietly listening from the doorway, clears her throat. "As long as everyone is respectful, I don't see why that would be a problem."

Noelle turns, surprised. "Yay!"

"It's New Year's. It's meant to be spent with people you care about."

Susie keeps her eyes on the floor. She doesn't trust herself to speak.

Kris reaches for their coat. "We should go before it gets worse outside."

Berdly agrees, already grabbing his scarf.

Noelle walks them to the door, pausing just before they step out. "Thank you. For today. For coming."

Kris smiles faintly. "Thanks for inviting us."

Berdly adds, "And for the cookies. Despite their… unconventional shapes."

Susie snorts. "You loved them."

When the door closes behind Kris and Berdly, the house settles into a quieter calm.

Noelle turns to Susie, practically glowing. "You're staying tonight, right?"

"…Yeah." She says, glad she doesn't have to go back home tonight. She's still shaken from this morning.

They head upstairs together, the conversation trailing into softer, smaller things, pajamas, brushing teeth, which side of the bed to sleep on.

But beneath it all, there's something new.

Plans. Future moments. A New Year that might, just maybe, start differently.

And for once, Susie lets herself believe she might be there to see it.

---

 

The walk to Kris's house is quiet in the good way.

Snow crunches under their shoes, the streetlamps casting soft halos across the sidewalk. Berdly has his hands shoved into his pockets, scarf pulled up too high, glasses fogging a little every time he exhales.

"…So," he says, after a moment. "The Christmas movie."

Kris snorts. "You cried."

"I did not cry," Berdly says immediately. "My eyes merely reacted to the excessive sentimentality."

Kris glances at him, unimpressed. "…You wiped your face on your sleeve."

Berdly clears his throat. "Irrelevant."

"...Hey, Berdly?"

"Yes?"

Kris takes a deep breath. "I was just— don't mind me asking but... uhh... I've only met your mother. You never mentioned your father before. I was just wondering..."

Their voice trails off.

"Oh—" Berdly says awkwardly.

"...I'm sorry if that was inappropriate of me to ask."

"No it's okay!" Berdly says quickly. "You don't know who my father is, I understand your request to meet him."

"You do?" Kris asks.

"Yes. I get it. But, unfortunately I cannot make that happen. I simply don't know who my father is." Berdly replies calmly. Too calmly.

"...Oh, I'm sorry... What— um—"

"Long story." Berdly says quickly. "Walked out on me and my mother when I was merely just an egg. It doesn't matter. It's always been just me and my mother. She raised me. I wouldn't want it any other way."

Kris smiles lightly. "Well, that's good, then."

They keep walking, shoulders occasionally brushing. Neither comments on it. The night is cold but calm, and for once, Kris doesn't feel like the quiet is pressing in on them.

Toriel's house glows warmly when they reach it.

The porch light flicks on before they even knock.

"Oh!" Toriel says, opening the door with a smile. "You're back already."

"Hi, Mom," Kris says.

Berdly straightens instinctively. "Good evening, Mrs. Dreemurr."

"Please, just Toriel," she says kindly, stepping aside. "You're welcome to stay as long as you'd like. There's hot chocolate in the kitchen if you want some."

Berdly's eyes light up. "I— thank you."

Kris slips off their shoes, motioning for Berdly to follow them. They head down the hallway, comfortable, familiar. Safe.

They reach Kris's room.

Kris opens the door.

There is a split second of silence.

Then—

"Oh MY GOD—" Kris yells.

Berdly yelps.

Kris slams the door shut so hard a picture rattles on the wall.

Well, I guess that solves the mystery on where Dess is. And Asriel.

Berdly stumbles back, hands over his face. "WHY—WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE THE DOOR UNLOCKED?!"

There is muffled movement from inside the room. A familiar, very amused voice.

"Wow," Dess's voice calls through the door. "No knock? Bold choice."

Another voice, Asriel's, groggy and deeply embarrassed. "…Kris. I am so sorry."

Kris presses their forehead against the doorframe. "I need bleach. For my brain."

Berdly is pacing now, visibly shaken. "I will never recover from this. This has permanently altered my psyche."

The door cracks open just enough for Dess to peek out, hair a mess, grin unapologetic.

"Relax," she says. "Nothing you haven't seen in health class."

"I—" Berdly squeaks.

Asriel's voice comes from inside, mortified. "Dess, please stop talking."

Kris turns bright red. "We're leaving. We're so leaving."

They flee down the hallway, tripping over each other, nearly colliding with Toriel on the way.

"Everything alright?" Toriel asks, concerned.

"YES." Kris says too fast.

"NO." Berdly says at the same time.

Toriel blinks.

They disappear, collapsing onto the couch in a heap, both breathing hard.

There's a long pause.

Then Berdly says, hollowly, "I wish to unsee."

Kris stares at the ceiling. "…I need therapy."

Berdly nods. "Shared trauma bonding."

They sit there, horrified, embarrassed, and despite themselves, laughing quietly into their sleeves.

Some things, unfortunately, can never be unseen.

Toriel comes downstairs a few minutes later.

Kris and Berdly are still on the couch, sitting far too straight, staring very intently at absolutely nothing. The TV is on, muted. Neither of them looks up when they hear her footsteps.

She stops at the bottom of the stairs.

There's a long, heavy pause.

"…I," Toriel says carefully, "didn't realize Asriel and Dess were… still awake."

Kris slowly turns their head.

Berdly does the same.

Their eyes meet hers.

And in that shared, silent look, there is an unspoken understanding. She saw it too.

Toriel clears her throat, cheeks flushed a deep, unmistakable red. She presses a hand to her face. "I will be… having a conversation. With them. Tomorrow."

Kris nods once. "…Good."

Berdly adjusts his glasses with shaking fingers. "Respectfully, ma'am, I will never psychologically recover."

Toriel lets out a small, strained laugh. "Yes. Well. I imagine none of us will."

Another beat of silence.

"…Perhaps," Toriel says gently, "it might be more comfortable if you stayed elsewhere tonight."

Kris exhales in relief. "Yeah."

Berdly is already standing. "Excellent idea."

Toriel gives them both a quick, apologetic hug. Kris first, then Berdly, who freezes before awkwardly returning it.

"Be safe." She says.

They are out the door less than a minute later.

The walk to Berdly's house is quiet again, but this time, it's the stunned kind of quiet.

Snow crunches underfoot.

"…So," Berdly says eventually. "That happened."

Kris pulls their scarf up higher. "…We don't talk about it."

"Agreed."

They walk a little closer together than before.

Berdly's house is dark except for the porch light. His mom answers the door, wearing a fluffy robe and a bright smile.

"Oh! Kris!" She says warmly. "What a surprise."

"Hi," Kris says softly.

Berdly clears his throat. "We— uh— plans changed."

His mom looks between them, immediately clocking the vibes. She smiles wider. "Of course they did. You're both welcome in. There are spare blankets in the hall closet."

"Thank you," Kris says.

"No late-night gaming," she adds pointedly.

Berdly winces. "Cruel and unusual."

She laughs, ruffles his feathers, and heads back upstairs without another word.

They don't bother with the guest room.

Berdly's room is dim and familiar, posters on the walls, a desk cluttered with controllers. He flicks on a small lamp, casting warm light over the space.

"…You can take the bed," Berdly says automatically.

Kris shakes their head. "We can share."

They pause.

"…Platonically," Kris adds.

"Obviously," Berdly says far too quickly.

Kris kicks off their shoes, crawls under the covers, and lie there stiffly for about ten seconds.

Then Kris shifts closer.

Berdly stiffens, then relaxes.

"Body heat." Kris murmurs.

"Thermally efficient." Berdly agrees.

They settle into something comfortable without really acknowledging it: Kris's head tucked near Berdly's shoulder, Berdly's arm resting awkwardly before finally, hesitantly, wrapping around them.

Neither moves away.

The house is quiet. Safe. No surprises lurking behind closed doors.

"…Today was a lot," Berdly says softly.

Kris hums in agreement.

"But," he adds, "i think… it was a good day. Overall."

Kris smiles into his sleeve, blushing. "…Yeah."

"...Besides that."

"Oh, definitely."

They lie there in silence, breathing in sync, the weight of the day finally easing off their shoulders.

They finally burst out laughing together, the entire situation too ridiculous NOT to laugh at.

Snow falls quietly outside.

Their laughter eventually calms, the two coming to rest in each other's arms.

And for once, the night ends gently.

Chapter 13: The Longest Night

Notes:

New Year's chapter a WEEK after New Year's? Hell yeah!

(Sorry for being late ☹️ I hope the long chapter makes up for it.)

The days between Christmas and New Year's Eve don't belong to anyone.

Time loosens its grip a little, no strict schedules, no looming deadlines. Snow comes and goes. Lights stay up longer than they should. People forget what day it is and don't really care.

For Kris, those days blur together in soft, uneven strokes.

They spend one afternoon at Noelle's, with Susie there, lounging on the floor and playing a fighting game Susie insists she's bad at while winning every round. Noelle cheers for both of them and apologizes every time someone loses. Kris laughs more than they expect to.

Another day is quieter. Kris stays home, helps Toriel bake bread, listens to the radio while she hums along to songs she half-remembers. They shovel the walkway together. It's peaceful. Almost too peaceful.

There are moments when the quiet presses in, but not as hard as it used to.

At night, Kris texts Berdly. Nothing dramatic. Stupid observations. Half-formed jokes. A shared complaint about how cold it is.

Every day, Berdly replies from the library during his shifts, typing with one hand while reshelving books with the other. Ms. Boom nags him about posture. He pretends not to hear. He sends Kris a blurry picture of a stack of returned books labeled "DO NOT RE-SORT BY COLOR."

Kris responds with a skull emoji.

Berdly smiles to himself.

They hang out twice more before the year ends. Once at Berdly's, gaming, eating leftover pizza, pretending they're not both avoiding the question of what comes next. Once at Noelle's again, where Susie sprawls across the couch like she owns it now and Noelle lets her.

Susie and Noelle don't say anything definitive. They don't have to.

It's in the way Susie waits for Noelle before stepping outside. In how Noelle automatically reaches for Susie's sleeve when she laughs too hard. In how they share looks that linger just a second longer than necessary.

Susie still goes home at night.

She still doesn't talk about it.

But she texts Berdly sometimes. Short messages. Blunt. ’You awake?’ messages.

He always answers.

By the time New Year's Eve approaches, it feels unreal that the year is actually ending.

Kris wakes up that morning already at Noelle's house, on her couch.

They slept over. Kris lies there for a while, staring at the ceiling, listening to Noelle move around the kitchen.

They don't feel rushed.

That's new.

Noelle is already buzzing with anticipation, talking to Kris while simultaneously trying to organize snacks, tidy the living room, and check her phone every five minutes.

"We're meeting up later," she says for the third time, as if Kris might forget. "Everyone. At my place. I think. Unless we change plans. But we probably won't!"

Kris nods, sipping their drink. "Okay. I'm gonna go home. Help my mom prepare."

"Okay! See you tonight!" Noelle yells excitedly.

Kris nods and soon leaves.

Susie hasn't shown up yet. She said she would later. Noelle pretends not to worry about it.

Across town, Berdly is at the library.

It's quiet, holiday quiet. The kind that echoes. Sunlight filters through the tall windows, dust motes floating lazily in the air.

Ms. Boom walks over to berdly, smiling. "You're in a good mood."

Berdly straightens. "Merely well-rested."

"Sure you are."

He checks the clock. Still a few hours left in his shift.

He thinks about later. About meeting up. About everyone being in the same place, at the same time, with no excuses to leave early.

It makes his chest feel tight. Not bad, just full.

He sends Kris a quick message during his break.

 

Berdly:

Library shift almost over. Mentally preparing for social interaction.

 

Kris replies almost immediately.

 

Kris:

you'll survive

 

Berdly smiles.

Outside, snow begins to fall again, slow, steady, like the town itself is settling in to watch the year turn over.

Whatever comes next, it's waiting.

---

 

The afternoon slips away almost without anyone noticing.

By the time the sky starts to darken into that soft, early-winter blue, it's suddenly almost time. The kind of almost that makes the house feel too small, like the walls are gently nudging everyone forward.

Toriel's car hums steadily down the road, heater on low, windshield wipers brushing aside thin streaks of melting snow. Kris sits in the passenger seat, knees tucked up slightly, staring out at the passing houses strung with leftover Christmas lights.

They don't feel nervous.

Not calm either.

Just… suspended.

"...Couldn't we have just walked???"

"Ah, yes... But this is easier for bringing the goods."

"...Right."

A familiar shape appears ahead, broad shoulders, scarf flapping dramatically in the cold. Toriel slows instinctively.

Asgore is standing on the sidewalk, arms full of grocery bags, one of them definitely ripped at the bottom.

Toriel sighs.

She rolls the window down. "Asgore."

He brightens immediately. "Toriel! What a pleasant coincidence! I was just thinking— oh! You cut your hair!"

"I did not." She says flatly.

"Oh." He squints. "Then it looks very… the same."

Kris bites the inside of their cheek, trying not to crack up.

Toriel gets out of the car despite herself. "Those bags are going to tear."

Asgore looks down. One apple drops and rolls into the street.

"…Ah."

She crosses her arms. "How many times have I told you not to overfill them?"

He chuckles sheepishly. "At least six or seven times?"

Kris snorts as Toriel stares them down with that knowing look.

She picks up the apple, hands it back to him, then takes two of the heavier bags. "You are impossible."

"And yet," he says warmly, falling into step beside her, "you stopped."

Toriel doesn't answer. She doesn't need to.

Kris watches from the car as they walk a few steps together, talking quietly. There's no tension. No drama. Just that familiar, awkward ease, like two people who know every wrong step and still keep walking anyway.

Asgore waves as they pull away, nearly slipping on the curb in the process.

Toriel winces. "...He is going to break his neck one of these days."

Kris nods in agreement.

Noelle's house is already glowing when they arrive.

Every light is on. Every. Single. One.

Inside, controlled chaos reigns.

Carol stands in the living room, arms folded, scanning the space like a general inspecting troops. She adjusts a pillow by exactly one inch, steps back, frowns, adjusts it again.

"Noelle," she calls, voice tight but polite, "why are the napkins cream and not white?"

Noelle freezes mid-step, holding a tray of glasses. "They are white, just... Warm white?"

Carol presses her lips together.

Rudy, lounging on the couch with his cane propped nearby, snorts. "Ah yes. The tragic moral difference."

Carol shoots him a look. "This is important."

Rudy grins wider. "It's New Year's Eve, honey. If anyone's judging our napkin saturation, they've already lost."

Dess walks over, wiping her hair out her face, laughing. "Mom. It's fuckin' napkins. No one cares about the color."

Asriel follows behind, placing his paws on her waist. "Dess, Language."

"Oh come on, dork. You had no issue swearing last night when—" Dess starts, getting interrupted by a paw clamping over her snout, and she soon starts snickering.

Noelle laughs nervously as she sets the tray down and immediately starts rearranging it anyway.

Kris drifts toward the corner of the room, unnoticed and content to stay that way. They poke at the playlist on Noelle's speaker, scrolling through options. Holiday music. Pop. Something instrumental.

They settle on something low and unobtrusive.

Carol notices too late. "Oh— Kris, is that the right—"

"It's fine," Rudy says easily. "Nice and calm."

Carol exhales through her nose. "…Fine."

Noelle smooths her sweater for the fifth time in as many minutes. "Do you think everyone's on their way?"

Kris shrugs. "Probably."

Outside, headlights pass by.

Inside, the house holds its breath, perfectly imperfect, on the verge of being full.

Almost time.

---

 

Susie gets ready fast.

Not because she's excited, she is, but that's not what's driving her hands as she yanks on clothes. It's the need to be done before anyone notices. Before anyone decides to interfere.

She pulls on a black hoodie, and dark T-shirt underneath, jeans that are ripped at the knees because she ripped them herself and never bothered to replace them. Old sneakers by the door. No makeup like usual. No effort to look nice. Just… herself.

She pauses at the mirror.

There's already a faint shadow blooming along her cheekbone. Not bad yet. She tilts her head, checks the angle. Hoodie up later. Hair forward. It'll pass.

She grabs her phone, keys, then freezes as the bedroom door creaks open without knocking.

Her mom stands there.

Her eyes flick down, cataloging. Clothes. Shoes. Phone in hand. Ready to leave.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asks, voice sharp and sugary at the same time.

Susie's shoulders tense. "Out."

"Out where?"

"Friend's house. Told you already."

That earns a humorless laugh. "No. You're not."

"I already said I was."

Her dad's voice comes from down the hall. "What's going on?"

She doesn't look away from Susie. "She thinks she's leaving."

Footsteps. Heavy ones. Her dad appears behind her, filling the doorway, arms crossed. He looks Susie up and down like she's something he scraped off his shoe.

"You're staying home." He says. Flat. Final.

Susie's pulse spikes. "I can't."

He raises a brow. "Can't?"

"I—" She swallows. "I already told them I'd be there."

"So? You don't get to make plans." Her mom says.

Susie's hands curl into fists. "It's New Year's. I'm not doing anything wrong."

Her dad steps closer. Too close. "You don't get to decide that."

Silence stretches. Thick. Dangerous.

Susie sighs. "I'm going."

The next slap is sudden.

Sharp.

Her head snaps to the side, cheek burning instantly, the sound echoing louder than it should. For a second, everything goes white.

Her mom's hand lowers slowly.

"Don't take that tone with me." She says coldly.

Susie stares at the floor. Her ears ring. Her throat feels tight, like if she opens her mouth she might actually scream, and that would make it worse.

Her dad sighs like she's the inconvenience. "You're not leaving us alone tonight."

Susie looks up, eyes watering, but refusing to cry. "What."

"You wanna go so bad?" Her mom says sweetly. "Fine. We're coming with you."

Her stomach drops.

"No." Susie says immediately. "No. You can't."

"Oh, we can." Her dad replies. "Or you stay here. Your choice."

Susie's chest heaves. She thinks of Noelle. Of her smile. Of how excited she was. Of how she'd sounded when she said please come, Susie, it'll mean a lot.

She can't not show up.

Her nails dig into her palms. "…Fine."

Her mom smiles, victorious. "Good girl."

---

 

The walk over to Noelle's is hell.

Susie walks quickly in front of them, hoodie pulled up. Her cheek throbs in time with her heartbeat. No one apologizes. No one acknowledges it happened.

By the time they pull up to Noelle's house, warm lights glowing, laughter audible even through the wall, her mom is already fixing her hair in a mirror.

"Smile." She says without looking. "Try not to embarrass us."

Susie doesn't answer.

They ring the doorbell.

The door opens to Carol, pleasant and surprised. "Oh! Hello—"

Her mom's face transforms instantly. Warm. Friendly. Harmless.

"Hi!" She says brightly. "You must be Carol. I'm Susanne, and this is my husband, John."

Her dad offers a polite nod. "So nice to finally meet you."

Susie stands just behind them, silent, heart hammering, cheek still burning under her hood.

Carol beams. "Oh, how lovely to meet you both!"

Susie nearly laughs at that.

Susanne reaches back, grips Susie's shoulder, not hard, just enough to remind her. "Our girl's been so excited about tonight."

Susie forces her mouth into something that might pass as a smile.

"Yeah." She says quietly. "Really excited."

Inside, laughter continues. Warmth spills out into the cold night air.

From the outside, everything looks perfectly normal.

They step inside.

Warmth hits Susie first, thick, almost smothering. The heater hums too loud, lights glow too bright, voices overlap in that cheerful holiday chaos that's supposed to feel welcoming. Instead, it feels like walking into a room already full of smoke.

Her mom's hand stays on Susie's shoulder as they cross the threshold. Light. Guiding. Performative.

"There we go." her mom says brightly, like she's entering a stage instead of someone else's home. "Wow. This place is darling."

Her dad lets out a soft laugh beside her. "You could eat off these floors."

Susie swallows.

Noelle appears almost immediately, like she'd been waiting just out of sight. Her face lights up when she sees Susie, real, unguarded, then falters just a fraction when her gaze slides to her parents. She recovers quickly, smile snapping back into place, polite and careful.

"You made it," Noelle says. "I— um, hi. Happy New Year's Eve."

Her mom beams. "Noelle! It's been a while, how have things been for you?"

Noelle flushes. "Things have been well..."

"Good to hear." Her dad says smoothly.

Susie stands half a step behind them, hands shoved deep in her jacket pockets, shoulders tight. Every word her parents say feels rehearsed. Every smile is too wide, too clean. This version of them, the charming one, the safe one, always makes her stomach churn worse than when they're openly cruel.

Because this one makes her feel crazy.

Kris comes in from the living room, cup in hand. Their eyes land on Susie first, sharp and quick, scanning her face the way they always do now. They catch the faint redness along her cheekbone. They worry, but they don't say anything. Not here.

Then their gaze shifts to Susanne and John.

They tilt their head, studying them a little too long.

Kris leans in toward Susie, voice low. "No offense, but your parents look like the kind of people who live on cigarettes."

Susie's breath catches.

Her first reaction is pure panic, white-hot and immediate. Her mind races ahead to consequences that haven't happened yet. They see it. They know. They're judging. They're going to say more.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" She snaps. The sharpness of her voice surprises even her.

Kris freezes mid-breath.

Noelle flinches, eyes wide, hands clasping together in front of her. The background noise of the house keeps going, someone laughing in the other room, dishes clinking.

Kris blinks. "I— I wasn't—"

"You don't know anything about them." Susie cuts in, too fast, too loud. Her heart is pounding now, hard enough to make her lightheaded. "So don't act like you do."

Susanne turns slightly, brows knitting in concern. "Susie, sweetheart? Everything okay?"

The word sweetheart makes her skin crawl.

"Fine." Susie says immediately, not looking at her. "We're fine."

Kris raises their hands a little, backing off. "Hey. I'm sorry. That was, yeah. I shouldn't have said that."

The apology lands wrong. Not because it isn't sincere, but because it confirms that something was said. Something real.

Embarrassment crashes into her chest, heavy and suffocating. She hates this, hates that she reacted, hates that she drew attention, hates that she feels like she's failed some invisible test of normalcy.

She scrubs a hand over her face. "No— I—" Her voice drops. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

She stops herself. Doesn't finish. Never does. Instead, she grasps for the first distraction she can find. "Where's Berdly?"

Kris hesitates. "Uh. He's still at home. Said he'd be late, something about his mom taking too long."

"Oh," Susie says. The disappointment hits harder than she expects. Berdly would've been… loud. Distracting. A buffer.

Noelle steps closer, lowering her voice. "Are you okay?"

Susie forces a grin, sharp and practiced. "Yeah. Just hungry."

It's a lie. A small one. A safe one.

Behind her, her parents laugh softly, Susanne telling a story, John nodding along, arm casually resting around her shoulders like a picture-perfect couple. They look harmless. Kind. Like people who would never hurt anyone.

The disconnect makes Susie's stomach twist painfully.

She turns away before the nausea can show. "I'm gonna... Uh... Get a drink."

She doesn't wait for a response, slipping toward the kitchen with stiff steps, jaw clenched. Her apology to Kris sits heavy in her chest, unspoken and unresolved, as she puts distance between herself and the door between herself and the version of her parents that everyone else gets to see.

Susie doesn't make it very far before she hears footsteps behind her.

"Susie— wait."

She pauses near the hallway that leads toward the quieter side of the house, one hand braced against the wall like she needs it to stay upright. She doesn't turn around right away. Doesn't trust her face yet.

Noelle comes up beside her instead of in front of her, giving her space. That alone makes Susie's shoulders loosen a fraction.

"Hey..." Noelle says softly. "I just wanted to check on you."

Susie huffs. "You already did that. I'm still alive. Miracle of the season."

Noelle smiles. "You got… loud."

Susie laughs nervously. "Yeah. Sorry about that."

There's a moment of silence. The house hums around them, muffled voices, distant laughter, a TV playing something cheerful. It feels far away, like it belongs to another world.

Noelle fidgets with the hem of her sweater. "Your parents," she says carefully. "Are they… okay?"

Susie's jaw tightens for just a second.

Then she does what she's always done. What she's good at.

"They're fine," she says, easy, casual. "Just intense. You know how parents get."

She can tell Noelle wants to ask more. She can feel it, see it in the way her eyes linger, the way her hands twist together. But Noelle doesn't push. Instead, she just nods, accepting the answer Susie's offering instead of the truth she's hiding.

"Okay," Noelle says quietly. "I just wanted to make sure you're not… upset."

Susie looks at her then. Really looks.

Noelle's cheeks are pink from the warmth, eyes bright, concern written all over her face like she doesn't know how to turn it off. There's something painfully gentle about the way she stands there, like she's afraid of scaring Susie away just by caring too much.

Susie exhales, the tension draining out of her all at once.

"C'mere," she mutters.

Noelle barely has time to react before Susie grabs the front of her sweater and pulls her in. Not rough, just sudden. Their foreheads bump lightly.

"Ow!" Noelle laughs, then quiets when Susie doesn't pull away.

Susie leans down and presses a quick kiss to Noelle's lips. Soft. Barely there.

Noelle freezes for half a second, then she kisses back. It's warm, clumsy and sweet, nothing like the movies. Noelle lets out a tiny, surprised sound against Susie's mouth, and that's enough to make Susie snort into a grin.

They break apart, both of them smiling now.

"You're bad at warning people," Noelle murmurs, cheeks burning.

Susie shrugs. "Keeps it exciting."

Noelle laughs, really laughs this time, and that sound does something in Susie's chest. She leans in again, slower now, pressing another kiss to Noelle's lips, lingering just a little longer.

Noelle's hands come up hesitantly, cupping Susie's cheeks and relaxing into the kiss.

They separate again, foreheads resting together.

"This is nice..." Noelle whispers.

"Yeah," Susie agrees. "It is."

She glances back toward the living room, nerves flaring again. "We— uh. We should probably not do that out there."

Noelle nods quickly. "Right. Of course. I know. I won't— I mean—"

Susie softens. "Hey. It's not you. It's them."

Noelle's smile falters just a little, but she nods. "Okay."

Susie bumps her forehead lightly against Noelle's. "Later. When they're not around, I'm not stopping you."

Noelle blushes hard. "S-Susie!"

Susie laughs under her breath, genuinely this time, and straightens up. "What can I say? I love your kisses. C'mon. Before someone comes looking."

They head back together, shoulders brushing.

They barely make it two steps into the living room before Kris looks up from the couch.

They stare at them.

"...I saw."

Noelle yelps. "K-KRIS?!"

Susie bursts out laughing, loud and unrestrained. "You creep! How long were you watching?!"

Kris shrugs. "Long enough."

Noelle hides her face in her hands, mortified. "I'm so sorry—!"

"Don't be!" Susie says, still grinning. 

Noelle peeks out between her fingers, embarrassed but smiling, and Susie, despite everything, despite the house and her parents and the lie, feels just a little lighter as they rejoin the others.

---

 

Berdly checks his phone for the fourth time in two minutes.

No new messages.

He paces the length of the hallway outside the bathroom. The door is still shut. Still locked. Still occupied by the same person who's been in there since the concept of time was invented.

"Mom," he calls, knocking once. Polite. Controlled. "We are going to be late."

From behind the door comes the sound of a hairdryer clicking off, followed by an unhurried, "I know, honey."

Berdly pinches the bridge of his beak. Of course she knows.

"I told them we'd be there by six," he says, louder now. "It's already six-twenty."

"Yes, and what's the difference between six and six-twenty?" She calls back, calm as ever. "People are still people."

"That is not how schedules work," Berdly mutters.

He stops pacing and leans against the wall, arms crossed, foot tapping out a frantic rhythm. His phone buzzes, finally, and he snatches it up.

 

Kris:

everything okay?

 

Berdly exhales sharply through his beak and types back.

 

Berdly:

Held hostage. Bathroom. Send help.

 

Almost on cue, the bathroom door opens.

His mom steps out like she's entering a magazine shoot.

Her hair is perfectly styled, not a feather out of place. She's wearing a neat coat, scarf draped just right, lipstick freshly reapplied. She checks her reflection in the hallway mirror, tilting her head.

"Hm. Do you think this color washes me out?"

Berdly stares at her. "We are going to a teenager's New Year's gathering. Not a gala."

"You never know who you'll run into," she says lightly, smoothing her scarf. "First impressions matter."

"Mom," he says, voice strained, "they have known you for years."

She smiles at him, soft but amused. "And yet, I still like to look nice."

He sighs, running a hand through his feathers. "I just— I don't want them thinking I bailed."

She pauses then, really looks at him. There's something different in his expression, less annoyed, more… anxious.

"Oh," she says gently. "They won't think that."

He avoids her gaze. "You don't know that."

She reaches out, straightens his collar without asking. "You've been spending a lot of time with them lately."

"Yeah," he says. "Because they matter."

Her smile warms. "I know."

"Alright," she says, grabbing her bag. "Let's go before you combust."

"Thank you." Berdly says immediately, already moving for the door.

Outside, the cold air hits them both. Snow crunches underfoot as they start walking, the streetlights glowing softly against the dark sky. Berdly keeps a brisk pace, hands shoved into his pockets, glancing ahead like he might spot the house early if he walks fast enough.

His mom matches his stride easily. "You're excited."

"I'm not." He says automatically.

She raises an eyebrow.

"…Okay," he amends. "I am. But that's not the point."

She chuckles. "It's nice to see you like this."

He frowns. "Like what."

"Invested," she says. "You've always cared about things. But this..." She gestures vaguely forward, toward where the others are waiting. "This is different."

Berdly doesn't respond right away. He thinks of Kris's messages. Of Susie's sharp laugh. Of Noelle's quiet kindness. Of how being with them feels less like performing and more like… existing.

"They're my friends." He says finally.

His mom nods. "Then let's not keep them waiting."

They walk on together, the glow of Noelle's house coming into view down the street, Berdly's steps quickening despite himself.

The house is already glowing when they reach it, windows warm with light, silhouettes moving inside, the low hum of voices spilling out into the cold night.

Berdly barely waits for his mom before knocking. The door opens almost immediately.

"Oh! You made it," Rudy says cheerfully. "Come in, come in, don't let the cold follow you."

Berdly slips inside, shrugging off his jacket as his mom steps in behind him. She pauses in the entryway, taking it all in like she's arrived at a museum exhibit instead of a family gathering.

"Well," she says pleasantly, eyes scanning the room, "this is lively."

Her gaze drifts, over Carol chatting near the table, past Toriel laughing softly with Asgore, toward a few other adults he vaguely recognizes. She hums thoughtfully.

"There are some very attractive women here..." She says, entirely too loud.

Berdly nearly trips over the rug.

"Mom!" He hisses, feathers puffing in embarrassment. "Please do not..."

She leans down slightly, lowering her voice but not her smile. "What? I have eyes."

He groans. "This is not a dating event. This is a friend event."

She raises an eyebrow. "Mm-hm."

"Fine." He says, sighing. "You can talk to literally anyone except Toriel."

That finally makes her pause.

She looks at him. Really looks at him.

"...Toriel?" she repeats.

"Yes," Berdly says too fast. "Because that would be weird. And awkward. And unnecessary. And—"

"And?"

"And I just don't want things to get complicated between me and Kris." he finishes, crossing his arms.

Her smile turns knowing. Dangerous.

"Oh?" She says lightly. "Is that so?"

"Yes." He insists. "Purely logistical reasons."

"Of course," she says, patting his arm. "Purely logistical."

He opens his beak to argue, then stops. "You're not allowed to read into that."

She laughs softly. "I didn't say a word."

"That laugh absolutely said a word."

She kisses his cheek before he can dodge. "Go. Be with your friends. I'll behave."

"I don't believe you." Berdly mutters, wiping at his cheek and already scanning the room.

He spots Kris first, near the couch, drink in hand, talking quietly with Noelle. Susie's there too, leaning against the armrest, posture loose but eyes sharp.

Then his stomach drops.

Susie's parents.

They're standing near the far wall, smiling too much, laughing at something Carol just said. They look comfortable. Like they belong there.

Berdly feels something hot and ugly twist in his chest.

He remembers Susie's voice from that day. Flat. Controlled. The way her shoulders had slumped when she finally stopped holding it in. The things she had said.

His shoulders tense.

She looks up, startled. "Oh— hey, Bird Brain. You finally show up?"

He crosses the room. "Haha... Yes. Mom took a while. You know how it is..."

He smiles and pulls Susie aside shortly after greeting Kris and Noelle.

"Why are they here." He asks. No joke. No sarcasm. Just blunt.

Susie follows his gaze. The moment she sees who he's looking at, something in her expression shutters.

"…They insisted." She says. "Didn't really give me a choice."

Berdly clenches his fists. "You didn't tell me."

Her jaw tightens. "Because I didn't want to make it weird."

"Well, mission failed." He snaps, then immediately lowers his voice. "Susie, I talked to you. I know what they're like."

She scoffs quietly. "You know some of it."

"That's more than enough." He says. "Do you want them here?"

Her silence answers for her.

He exhales sharply through his beak. "Then why are you letting them pretend everything's fine?"

Her eyes flash. "Because if I don't, it gets worse."

That stops him.

He swallows, anger redirecting, away from her, back where it belongs. "You shouldn't have to deal with that."

She gives him a crooked smile. "Welcome to my life."

Berdly glances toward her parents again, disgust curling in his gut. "If they say anything, anything to you tonight, you tell me."

"Berdly—"

"I'm serious." He says, voice low and steady. "I don't care whose house this is."

She studies him for a moment, then sighs. "...Fine."

"Okay." He repeats.

Behind them, Kris watches quietly, unreadable as ever. Noelle fidgets, concern etched into every line of her face.

Berdly straightens, forcing his usual bravado back into place, but it feels thinner now. Sharper. Focused.

He stays close to Susie after that. Not hovering. Just... present.

And every time he catches sight of her parents laughing like they're harmless, his resolve hardens.

They might fool everyone else.

They don't fool him.

Susie doesn't say anything when Berdly steps back.

She just nods once, sharp and final, and turns away before anyone can see her face crack.

Kris notices immediately.

"Hey." They say quietly, catching Berdly's sleeve. "What was that about?"

Noelle echoes it a second later, worry already curling her shoulders inward. "Did— did something happen?"

Berdly doesn't hesitate.

"Oh, that?" he says, forcing an easy scoff. "Nothing dramatic. Just, uh— telling Susie to be kind to the guests."

Susie lets out a humorless huff as she passes them. "I'm going outside."

She doesn't wait for permission.

The front door opens and closes behind her with a little more force than necessary.

Noelle watches her go, frozen for half a second too long.

Kris studies him.

Their eyes narrow just slightly, but they don't push.

Noelle, however, absolutely does.

She follows Susie outside without another word.

---

 

The cold air slams into Susie's lungs the second she steps out onto the porch.

Good. She needs it.

Her hands shake as she digs into her jacket pocket, fingers closing around the crumpled cigarette pack she hates that she still carries. She doesn't smoke often, never liked it, but right now her chest feels too tight, her thoughts too loud, her skin too small.

She lights one with a flick of her thumb, inhales too sharply, and immediately coughs.

"Ugh—" She gags, bending forward slightly.

"God, I hate these." She thinks to herself.

She keeps it anyway.

Figures.

She exhales, smoke curling into the winter air, watching it disappear.

She doesn't hear the door open again until Noelle speaks.

"Susie?"

Susie stiffens. "What."

Noelle steps onto the porch, hugging her coat around herself. "You ran off."

"Yeah. Needed air."

Noelle nods, like she believes that's the whole truth. She always wants to believe the easy answer first.

They stand there in silence for a moment. Snow crunches somewhere nearby. Music hums faintly through the walls behind them.

Noelle glances at the cigarette. "I thought you quit."

"I did." Susie says flatly. "...mostly."

"That smells really bad..." Noelle adds, wrinkling her nose.

Susie snorts despite herself. "Trust me, it tastes worse."

Noelle hesitates. "Then why—"

Susie cuts her off, quick and defensive. "Because I needed something to keep my hands busy."

It's not a lie. Just not the whole truth.

Noelle nods again. Too understanding. It makes Susie feel worse.

They stand shoulder to shoulder now, close but not touching. Susie stares out at the street, cigarette glowing faintly between her fingers.

"You okay?" Noelle asks softly.

Susie's mouth opens.

Closes.

She swallows.

"Yeah." She says. "Just… crowded in there."

Noelle hums. "Your parents..."

Susie's shoulders tense.

"They're being normal." She says carefully.

Noelle doesn't ask for clarification. Just nods, eyes downcast. "They're… really different from you."

Susie lets out a quiet laugh. "Yeah. That's one word for it."

Another silence stretches between them, heavy, but not uncomfortable. The kind where you don't know what to say, but you're glad the other person is still there.

Noelle finally speaks again. "I don't like seeing you upset."

Susie glances at her, startled. "I'm not—"

She stops herself.

Noelle's eyes are soft. Concerned. Unwavering.

Susie exhales slowly, then flicks the cigarette away into the snow and crushes it under her boot. "There. Happy?"

Noelle smiles a little. "Yes."

They turn toward each other almost without realizing it.

Noelle steps closer. "You don't have to tell me everything." She says. "I just… want you to know you're not alone."

Susie's chest aches.

She leans down and kisses her.

It's slow. Gentle. Nothing rushed or desperate, just warm and grounding, like Susie's reminding herself she's real. That this is real.

Noelle melts into it instantly, hands clutching Susie's jacket. She makes a small, content sound before pulling back with a frown.

"…You taste like cigarettes."

Susie grins. "Told you they suck."

Noelle laughs, nudging her shoulder. "You're gross."

"Yeah," Susie says fondly. "You love me."

Noelle turns red. "S-Shut up."

They share another quick kiss, shorter this time, playful, and then Noelle tugs her back toward the door. "Come on. Before someone comes looking again."

Susie lets herself be pulled.

---

 

The house is bright and loud when they step back inside.

Someone's arguing about drinks. Someone else is laughing too hard. Everything feels too normal, too cheerful, but Susie's head is clearer now. The tightness in her chest has eased.

They make it two steps in before Noelle freezes.

"…Why are they sitting like that?"

Susie follows her gaze.

Kris and Berdly are on the couch. Too close. Kris is holding a Nintendo Switch, legs crossed, completely absorbed in the game. Berdly is leaned in, one arm draped along the back of the couch, the other pointing at the screen.

Their shoulders are touching. Frequently.

"You're gonna miss the timing if you keep rushing it." Berdly says.

"I know what I'm doing!" Kris replies, laughing when they immediately fall off the platform. "Okay, maybe not."

Susie smirks. "Wow."

He freezes.

Susie raises an eyebrow. "Comfortable there, genius?"

Berdly's feathers puff instantly. "We're just— this is optimal viewing distance."

Kris looks up too, blinking. "Oh. Hey."

Noelle tilts her head. "You're very close."

"It's strategic!" Berdly insists. "The screen is small!"

Susie bursts out laughing. "You're blushing!"

"I am not!"

Kris grins, clearly enjoying this far too much. "You are."

Berdly groans and drops his head into his hands. "This is harassment."

Noelle smiles, relieved, happy, and just a little smug. "You two look cute."

Noelle's voice is soft, sincere, no teasing edge to it at all.

For half a second, the room freezes.

Berdly's brain short-circuits so hard he actually makes a noise. "I— CUTE?! Th-this is purely a matter of spatial efficiency!"

Kris, meanwhile, laughs, an honest, unguarded sound, and doesn't move away in the slightest. "Sure it is."

Susie grins, sharp and knowing. "Wow. Took you long enough."

Noelle's smile widens, relieved and warm. "Can we sit too? Or is this... a very exclusive gamer zone?"

Kris scoots over without hesitation. "Plenty of room."

They all end up piled together on the couch in a way that's only barely organized, Susie sprawled on one end, Noelle tucked close to her side, Kris in the middle with the Switch balanced on their knees, Berdly hovering for a second before sitting far too close to be considered casual.

No one comments on that.

They play for a while, passing the controller around, arguing over turns, Susie heckling mercilessly while still somehow being invested, Noelle cheering every tiny success like it's a miracle.

For a little while, it's easy.

Then Susie feels it before she sees it.

Her parents approach.

She stiffens instantly, muscles locking up on instinct. Her eyes flick to Noelle, sharp and quick, and she makes a small motion with her hand. Two fingers drawn discreetly across her chest, then a subtle shake of her head.

Don't.

Noelle understands immediately. Her smile doesn't fade, doesn't falter, but something in her posture shifts, careful now.

Susie's mom's voice cuts in, bright and sugary. "There you all are! We were wondering where you disappeared to."

Her dad chuckles. "Looks cozy."

Susie forces a lazy grin. "Yeah. Couch claimed us."

Carol hums approvingly nearby, unaware. "You kids look like you're having fun."

Berdly doesn't say anything.

His politeness doesn't come naturally in moments like this, not when his chest is buzzing with restrained anger, not when he has to look at the people who hurt his friend and pretend they're normal.

Susanne turns to him with a smile that doesn't reach her eyes. "You must be Berdly. We've heard about you.

"Have you," he replies flatly.

Kris subtly nudges his leg with their knee.

Berdly inhales. Exhales. "Nice to meet you." He adds.

Susie watches him from the corner of her eye, heart pounding. She shakes her head almost imperceptibly. Please. Not now.

Noelle jumps in smoothly. "Berdly helped us a lot with our project at school." She says. "He's really smart."

Berdly blinks, caught off guard. "…Thank you."

Susie's mom laughs lightly. "Oh, intelligence is always impressive."

The small talk drags on, weather, school, how well-behaved everyone seems. Susie answers in monosyllables, Noelle mirrors whatever tone keeps things calm. Kris stays quiet, eyes sharp and observant.

Berdly barely speaks at all.

When her mother finally glances at the clock, Susie almost sags with relief.

"Well," her mother says, clapping her hands softly, "we would love to stay until the clock strikes 12 and celebrate the new year's, but we have a long day ahead."

"Of course," Carol replies.

Her parents leave with one last round of smiles and pleasantries.

The door closes.

Berdly doesn't move.

He stares at the door like it personally offended him. Kris notices immediately. They shift closer without a word, lowering the Switch to the table. "Hey."

Berdly startles slightly. "I'm fine."

Kris hums, unconvinced. They reach up and scratch gently along the feathers at the base of his neck, slow, deliberate, grounding.

Berdly stiffens, then melts.

A low, involuntary sound rumbles out of his chest before he can stop it.

"…Don't..." He mutters weakly.

"You're purring." Kris says, amused.

"I am not—" He cuts himself off as the sound deepens despite his protest. His shoulders loosen, tension bleeding out of him like air from a punctured balloon. "Okay. Maybe. A little."

Kris smiles, soft and private, continuing the motion. "You did good."

"…They make me mad."

"I know."

"They just—" He stops himself, swallows. "…Never mind."

Kris doesn't push. They just stay there, close and steady. Across the room, Berdly's mother watches the scene quietly.

She says nothing.

She just smiles to herself, soft and knowing, and turns back to her drink, letting the moment belong to them.

Minutes pass.

There are still voices overlapping, adults drifting between rooms, someone laughing too loud near the kitchen. But the focus shifts. The sharp edges of earlier tension dull, replaced by something softer. Anticipatory. Like the whole place is holding its breath, waiting for midnight.

Susie notices it first.

She's slouched against the arm of the couch, half-listening to a story Rudy's telling someone nearby, when she catches Noelle's eye across the room. It's nothing obvious, just a look that lingers a second too long, followed by a tiny tilt of Noelle's head toward the hallway.

Susie blinks once. Then twice.

Then she smirks.

She stretches, exaggerated, like a bored cat. "Man, it's stuffy in here."

Noelle nods a little too quickly. "Y-yeah! Maybe we could, um... Get some air?"

Kris glances between them, immediately clocking the exchange. They don't say anything, just raise an eyebrow and lean back, faintly amused.

Berdly, on the other hand, misses the entire thing.

"Stuffy?" he repeats. "The thermostat is set to a perfectly reasonable—"

Susie's knee bumps into his. Not hard. Just enough.

"I said stuffy." She repeats pointedly.

"Oh," Berdly says. "...Right."

They're out the door a minute later, jackets grabbed, shoes half-tugged on, excuses mumbled to no one in particular. The cold night air hits them like a reset button.

Snow crunches under their feet as they step onto the sidewalk. The street is quieter than inside, the sky washed dark blue, clouds low and heavy with more snow to come.

Susie exhales like she's been holding her breath for hours.

"Better..." She mutters.

Noelle hugs her coat tighter around herself, breath fogging in front of her. "It's cold…"

"Yeah." Susie says. "That's the point."

She reaches into her jacket pocket, fingers closing around the familiar crumple. Hesitates. Then pulls out the cigarette pack anyway.

Noelle notices instantly.

Her shoulders tense. "...Susie."

"I know," Susie says before Noelle can finish. "I know."

She taps one out, rolls it between her fingers. Doesn't light it yet.

Kris watches from a few steps away, hands tucked into their pockets, gaze unreadable. Berdly stands stiffly beside them, already uncomfortable.

"You don't have to..." Noelle says quietly.

Susie glances at her, then back at the cigarette. "I just want one."

Noelle bites her lip, but doesn't argue further.

Susie lights it with a practiced flick, inhales shallowly, then exhales toward the ground. The smoke curls low, dissolving into the cold air.

She grimaces. "Ugh. Still gross."

Kris snorts. "And yet—"

"Shut up." Susie says, but there's no bite to it. She takes another drag, then, without looking, holds it out toward Kris. "You want one?"

Berdly's head snaps toward them. "Absolutely not."

Kris blinks. "…Huh?"

Susie raises an eyebrow. "What? You look like you're curious."

Kris hesitates. They glance at Noelle, then at Berdly, then back at the cigarette.

"…One." They say finally. "Maybe."

Noelle makes a small noise of protest. "Kris—"

"It's fine," Kris says quickly. "Just one."

Berdly sputters. "It is not fine! Do you have any idea what that does to—"

Susie interrupts by pressing the cigarette into Kris's hand. "Relax, bird nerd. They're not gonna combust."

Kris brings it to their lips, inhales, and immediately coughs.

"Oh—" They double over slightly. "Oh that's awful."

Susie laughs, sharp and genuine. "Told you."

Noelle rushes closer, patting Kris's back. "Why would you even—"

Kris hands the cigarette back quickly. "Curiosity satisfied."

Berdly crosses his arms, feathers puffed in agitation. "For the record, nicotine addiction is no laughing matter. The long-term health implications—"

"—are that it tastes like trash." Susie finishes. "Yeah, yeah."

She flicks the cigarette away, the snow immediately putting it out.

Noelle exhales, relieved.

They stand there for a moment, four silhouettes under a streetlight, breath fogging, the house glowing warmly behind them.

Susie catches Noelle looking at her.

Noelle smiles, then steps closer. Her gloved hand brushes Susie's sleeve, once, twice, and then stays.

It's small. Barely noticeable.

But Susie feels it like a spark.

She leans in just a fraction, lowering her voice. "You good?"

Noelle smiles softly. "I am. Just… glad you're here."

Susie swallows. "Yeah. Me too."

They don't kiss. Too exposed, too risky. She has no idea who could see, but Susie nudges her forehead lightly against Noelle's temple, quick and affectionate.

Kris notices. Of course they do.

They look away politely, giving them space. Berdly, oblivious to the exchange but very aware of the vibes, clears his throat.

"So," he says, forcing brightness, "it is currently eleven p.m."

Susie snorts. "Thanks, time wizard."

"I'm simply saying," Berdly continues, "This is the portion of the evening where people begin engaging in reflective behavior."

Kris smirks. "He means predictions and stuff."

Berdly bristles, then suddenly slips on his next step, grabbing Kris and accidentally pulling them down with him.

"K-KRAAA!"

"HEY!"

They land on the cold snowed over ground.

"Berdly! Why would you pull me down?!"

Berdly looks at them, defensive. "IT WAS IMPULSIVE! I DIDN'T—"

Kris begins snickering, Susie and Noelle laughing along with the situation.

Berdly stands up, blushing with embarrassment. "It's not that funny."

"It's kinda funny."

"Shut up..."

They laugh together and head back inside together.

---

 

The house is louder now.

More people have gathered near the living room, conversations overlapping in messy layers. Someone's already started a countdown debate. Music plays faintly from a speaker near the window.

They regroup near the couch, reclaiming their earlier spots almost instinctively.

Berdly clears his throat. "Since it's nearly midnight, I propose we engage in a brief—"

"—No." Susie says immediately.

"—activity." Berdly finishes stubbornly. "New Years predictions."

Noelle brightens. "Oh! That sounds fun."

Susie groans.

Berdly leans back. "Everyone says one thing. Something likely."

Susie points at him. "If you say ’statistically,’ I'm leaving."

Kris chuckles. "Okay. I'll go first."

They think for a moment, then shrug. "Next year's gonna be… different."

"That's vague." Berdly says.

"Intentionally." Kris replies.

Noelle smiles. "I think… next year, we'll all still be friends."

Susie smirks. "…Yeah, obviously. Except for us."

Susie winks, Noelle giggles, blushing.

Berdly hesitates, then says quietly, "I think… I'll stop pretending... I'm..."

He swallows. "...better than everyone."

Everyone looks at him.

He flushes. "What? It's a resolution."

Susie laughs. "Good luck with that."

They laugh together as the clock ticks closer to midnight, the room buzzing with noise and warmth and something fragile but hopeful, like maybe, just maybe, this year won't be as bad.

---

 

The last stretch before midnight blurs by in fragments.

Rudy and Asgore are laughing too loud near the dining table, glasses raised like they're toasting to nothing in particular. Toriel fusses with napkins that don't need fussing, straightening them anyway. Carol hovers near the kitchen, correcting something that doesn't need correcting, while Dess and Asriel argue over music until someone turns it down a notch.

Berdly's mother drifts from group to group, radiant and talkative, complimenting coats, asking questions, touching arms when she laughs.

The house feels… full.

Susie sticks close to Noelle, hands in her jacket pockets, jaw tight but posture relaxed enough to pass. Noelle keeps smiling, a little too bright, a little too careful.

Kris floats between conversations without really being in any of them, nodding when spoken to, retreating when the noise swells. Berdly paces, checks his phone, adjusts his glasses, checks the clock again, pretending he isn't counting down every second.

Then someone announces it's almost time.

People start gathering toward the living room.

Too many people.

They pack in shoulder to shoulder, bodies pressed close, heat and perfume and overlapping voices compressing the air.

Someone bumps Kris's elbow. Someone laughs right behind their ear. The music gets louder, or maybe it's just everything else stacking on top of it.

Kris stiffens.

Their shoulders rise. Their hands curl into the sleeves of their sweater, fingers twisting fabric tight. Their gaze drops, not unfocused, but narrowed, like they're trying to shrink the world down to something manageable.

The noise doesn't fade.

It multiplies.

Berdly notices because he's been watching Kris all night, because he always does, even when he pretends he doesn't. He catches the signs stacking up: Kris going quiet. Not answering when someone asks them something simple. Rocking, just barely, heel to toe. Breathing shallow, uneven.

"Kris?" He says, leaning closer.

No response.

Kris's jaw is clenched now, eyes fixed somewhere past the crowd. Someone brushes past them again and they flinch, sharp and immediate.

Berdly doesn't hesitate.

He steps in front of Kris, blocking the press of bodies, and says, loud enough to cut through, "Hey. Come with me."

He doesn't grab them. Just reaches out, palm open, waiting.

Kris looks at his hand for a second too long, then they take it.

Berdly weaves them sideways, murmuring apologies no one really hears, guiding Kris out of the tightest knot of people. He leads them just outside of the crowd, still noisy, still full of sound, but open. Space to breathe. Space to stand without being touched.

Kris leans back against the wall the second they're inside, eyes closing.

"Okay," Berdly says softly. "You're good. You're good."

It takes a bit. Kris' breathing stutters, then slowly evens out. Their hands loosen. The tension drains from their shoulders in small increments.

"Too much..." Kris finally manages, voice quiet and rough.

"I know," Berdly says. "You handled it longer than I would've."

That earns the faintest huff of a laugh.

They stand there together, not talking much. Just existing. The muffled noise from the living room stays distant enough not to hurt.

When the countdown starts, someone shouting "Ten!" from the other room, Berdly glances at Kris. "Ready to rejoin? Or…?"

Kris opens their eyes. "...Yeah. I'm okay now."

They head back together.

The last ten seconds are chaos.

People shout numbers out of sync. Someone's filming. Someone spills a drink. Arms go around shoulders, hands clasp hands. At zero, the room erupts. Cheers, whistles, laughter bursting all at once.

Families hug, some couples kiss. Quick, practiced gestures. Toriel and Asgore share a quiet smile, Carol laughs too sharply as Rudy pulls her into a hug. Berdly's mother claps her hands, delighted, already congratulating everyone within reach.

Susie doesn't think. She just turns to hold and kiss Noelle.

It's instinctive, warm, solid, full of relief more than anything else. Noelle freezes for a second, then melts into it, hands curling into Susie's jacket like it's the most natural thing in the world.

When they pull apart, reality rushes back in.

People saw.

Dess definitely did, her eyebrows shoot up, then she grins. Asriel notices too, startled but smiling. Berdly's mother catches the moment mid-laugh, eyes widening briefly before softening with something like fond amusement. Rudy clocks it and looks away politely. Carol sees, her expression unreadable, too controlled.

Kris sees everything.

They meet Susie's eyes across the room and give her the smallest nod.

Susie exhales.

The energy fractures after that. Some people head outside for fireworks, bundled up and laughing. Others stay in, settling into chairs, refilling drinks, riding out the noise.

The four of them drift toward the door together without saying it out loud.

Cold air rushes in as they step outside, fireworks already popping in the distance, color blooming against the dark sky.

Susie shoves her hands into her pockets. Noelle leans into her side. Berdly tilts his head up, tracking bursts like he's cataloging them. Kris stands a little apart, breathing easier now, eyes reflecting light.

The fireworks come in waves.

Not the loud, chaotic kind right above them, those are farther away, echoing from across town, but enough to paint the sky in bursts of color that reflect in everyone's eyes. Reds and blues shimmer across the snow, gold flares bloom and fade, smoke drifting lazily like it doesn't have anywhere better to be.

No one talks much at first.

Susie nudges Noelle with her shoulder. "Guess we didn't mess up the year already."

Noelle laughs softly. "Give it time."

Berdly snorts. "Statistically speaking, the probability of that—"

"—Don't." Susie says, cutting him off immediately, hitting him the moment he says "statistically", falling for the bait.

Kris just hums, a low sound of agreement, hands tucked deep into their sleeves.

They exchange quick congratulations, muttered happy new years, awkward half-hugs that don't last long enough to be uncomfortable. Noelle hugs Kris properly, warm and tight. Susie claps Berdly on the back a little harder than necessary. Berdly stiffens, then awkwardly returns it.

Asriel and Dess drift closer at some point, hands shoved in their coat pockets. Dess elbows Susie lightly. "Didn't think you'd last this long outside."

Susie scoffs. "Didn't think you'd shut up this long."

"New year, new me."

That earns a small chorus of snorts.

Then it settles again.

An hour passes without anyone really noticing. Fireworks come and go, breath fogs in the cold air, the snow crunches when people shift their weight.

Kris grows quieter.

At first it's subtle, leaning back against a tree, shoulders hunched. Then their hands start trembling just a bit, fingers stiff inside their sleeves. Their nose and cheeks are pink with cold, eyes half-lidded, unfocused.

Berdly notices.

"You're freezing." He says under his breath.

Kris blinks slowly at him. "…Mm. Kinda."

Without making a big deal out of it, Berdly shrugs off his jacket and drapes it around Kris's shoulders. It's too big for them, swallows them whole, sleeves dangling past their hands. He tugs it closer, instinctively pulling Kris in with it.

Kris doesn't resist.

They sink into his side almost immediately, forehead resting against his shoulder. Their breathing evens out, slow and heavy.

"I'm not… used to being up this late..." Kris murmurs, barely audible. "…Eleven's usually it."

Berdly feels his chest do something stupid and tight. "Yeah. I figured..."

He glances back at the group. Susie and Noelle are mid-whisper about something, laughing quietly. Asriel's scrolling on his phone. Dess is watching fireworks like she's daring them to impress her.

It's past one.

"I'm gonna take Kris home." Berdly says, louder this time. "They're basically asleep."

Noelle looks over, concern flickering before softening into a smile. "Okay. Yeah. That makes sense."

Susie smirks. "Aw. Nerd escort duty."

Berdly rolls his eyes. "They're literally drooling on me."

"I am not..." Kris mumbles, though they don't move an inch.

Asriel steps forward, already fishing a key out of his pocket. "Here. Front door sucks. Might need to jiggle the key a little."

"Thanks." Berdly says, taking it carefully.

Berdly's mom catches his eye from the doorway. He gives a quick nod.

She smiles, knowingly, but doesn't say a word.

---

 

The walk is quiet.

Kris barely stays upright on their own, drifting closer until Berdly's arm is fully around them, guiding them more than walking alongside. The world feels muffled at this hour, snow softening sound, streets empty, fireworks distant echoes now.

By the time they reach Kris's house, Kris is fully asleep on their feet.

Berdly fumbles with the key one-handed, finally getting the door open. Inside, it's dark, cold, and silent. He helps Kris out of their shoes and gently steers them down the hallway.

They make it to Kris's room.

Berdly hesitates at the doorway, suddenly very aware of what he's doing.

Kris stirs, just a little.

They open their eyes halfway and look at him.

Not sleepy. Not confused.

Just… soft. Intent. A look that says stay without words, without pressure, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Berdly doesn't argue.

He crawls into bed beside them, barely thinking about it, pulling the blanket up around both of them. Kris turns immediately, pressing close, forehead against his collarbone, arms tightly wrapped around his waist.

Berdly freezes for half a second, then relaxes, wiping hair out of their face, hands lingering longer than they should. They watch each other for a while, smiling warmly, blushing.

This doesn't same as "platonic" as they strictly stated last time.

"Night..." Kris whispers.

"Goodnight... Sleep well." He replies, just as quiet, finally just hugging them back.

They fall asleep like that, warming each other up in silence.

---

 

Back at Noelle's, Susie notices first.

"Uh." She says, glancing at the door. "Did Birdbrain just… disappear?"

Noelle blinks. "Oh! He said he was taking Kris home."

Susie grins. "Oh yeah. I forgot."

They linger a bit longer, talking about fireworks, about stupid resolutions they won't keep, about nothing important at all. The house slowly quiets as families head home.

By three, Noelle yawns, rubbing her eyes.

Susie follows her to her room without comment, kicking off her boots, collapsing onto the bed beside her. Noelle curls in instinctively, warm and familiar.

"…Happy new year." Noelle murmurs.

Susie smiles into her hair. "Yeah. Happy new year."

They fall asleep together, fireworks faintly heard outside, and the house finally quiet. Mercifully quiet.

Notes:

Sorry for the slower updates, I've been busy with school again. I sadly won't be too active publishing new chapters for a bit, but I'll try to get a chapter in at LEAST once a week.

I genuinely hope this is still enjoyable although being finished too late :)