Inventions, Mysteries, Amphibians, And Titans: A Chat Fic

by Insecdroid, Orahm Xoorha (Insecdroid)

Summary:

June 1st, 2020. The day that six humans were brought together by an unknown benefactor to be a part of a multiversal chat. Except, all of them exist on the same earth. So why is it multiversal? Together they'll share in their adventures, have a laugh at the chaos the chat will create, and maybe disrupt the way the timeline was supposed to pan out.

AU with the Calamity Trio being capable of turning into their respective Amphibian, inspired by Medicated.
AU with Luz being a half-Titan, inspired by...a lot of other fan fics.

This fic is inspired by Watching The Cipher-Verse by Mandalore_the_Atreides

Notes:

• Inspired by Watching the Cipher-Verse by Mandalore_the_Atreides
• Inspired by Medicated by DragonLovingGirl6, Opin88

This fan fiction was inspired by the amazing Watching The Cipher-Verse by Mandalore_the_Atreides. Please do yourself a favor and read his fic, because it is my current favorite fan fiction on the website.

Chapter 1: Six Humans Enter A Chat

Notes:

Well here's a fic I never thought I would do. I always just expected to stick to FFXIV, but Mandalore_the_Atreides's amazing react fic combined with there being no Amphiba fics that I want to read made me do this. This fic will be heavily Gravity Falls and The Owl House focused until the end of summer, since that's when they take place. Amphibia will then be the primary focus, along with Phineas and Ferb's bigger adventures because Danville is in a weird time bubble where Summer lasted nearly 10 years there.

June 1st, 2020

 

Chat Group Created

Multiverseal Access Granted

Unknown has added Phineas Flynn to the chat

Unknown has added Ferb Fletcher to the chat

Unknown has added Dipper Pines to the chat

Unknown has added Mabel Pines to the chat

Unknown has added Anne Boonchuy to the chat

Unknown has added Luz Noceda to the chat

 

Unknown: Welcome!

Dipper: The multiverse is real?!  Oh my gosh, this changes everything we know!

Mabel: HI I’M MABEL!

Unknown: Yes the multiverse is real!  Well the multiverse is subjective.  All of you are from the same Earth.

Dipper: Then why were we granted Multiversal Access?

Unknown: Spoilers.

Unknown: Now with that out of the way!  Greetings, you have all been brought here by myself and his friends.

Unknown: So, Introductions!  So everyone doesn't type at once and make everything a jumbled mess, please go in order of how you were added.

Phineas: Well I’m Phineas Flynn.  I’m 10 years old and I love to build inventions with my brother Ferb!

Ferb: I’m Ferb Fletcher, I’m 10 and I love to build inventions with my brother Phineas.  Also I don’t talk much.

Dipper: I’m Dipper Pines.  I’m 12 and I like mysteries.

Mabel: I already said it, but my name is Mabel, Mabel Pines.  Me and Dipping Sauce are twins!  I like sweaters, animals, and GLITTER!

Anne: I’m Anne Boonchuy.  I’m 12, but I’ll be turning 13 on the 6th.  I like Tennis, and hanging out at the mall with my BFFs Sasha and Marcy.

Luz: I am Luz Noceda.  I’m 14.  I love the Good Witch Azura and I want to become a writer.  Since I unfortunately can’t become a witch.

Unknown: Excellent!

Unknown: Now that you’re all here, it is time I take my leave.

Unknown: Good luck.  You’ll need it.

Unknown has left the chat

Dipper: Did that feel ominous to anyone else, or is it just me?

Luz: No, I’m with you. 

Anne: Well as fun and crazy as this morning has been, I do need to get to school soon.

Dipper: You’re still going to school?  We got out last week.

Mabel: Summertime is already upon us!

Anne: Lucky.  School doesn’t end until the 15th!

Dipper: Well at least you’ll get to spend your summer break how you want.  Mabel and I are being forced to stay with our Great Uncle Stan in Oregon.  He runs a tourist trap, and we’ve been roped into working there.

Mabel: At least he pays us.

Anne: Been there.  My family runs a restaurant, and I’ve worked there since I was little.  They only started paying me when I was 10…to be fair that’s when I started wanting to get paid for my work.

Luz: You’re not at school?  Are you on the west coast?

Anne: LA to be specific.

Mabel: Piedmont California for me and Dipper!

Dipper: Though right now we’re in Gravity Falls, OR.

Phineas: Ferb and I live in the Tri State Area.

Ferb: The New York one to be precise.

Luz: Well I’m also on the east coast.  In Gravesfield, Connecticut.

Dipper: Woah, isn’t that one of the biggest Witch Hunting spots from the 1600s?

Luz: Yeah, that’s what the town is known for!

Anne: Wait… If you’re all on the East Coast, then isn’t it like 10:30 AM there?  SHouldn’t you guys be in school already?

Luz: I’m trying to put some last-minute touches on my book report on the best book series ever made: The Good Witch Azura!

Anne: I think Marcy reads that series.  So what about you two?

Phineas: We’re doing the same thing, but for the end of year Science Fair.  Ferb and I made lunar panels.  Solar panels that can take the light of the moon and convert it into electricity.  We’re just making sure the energy conversion rates are steady.

Dipper: That’s seriously impressive.

Phineas: Thanks, we’re going to implement them into the school so it can have a reliable source of clean power.

Mabel: That is so kind of you!

Phineas: It’s nothing.

Dipper: Developing a new form of energy isn’t nothing!  This is huge!  What’s next, are you going to solve cold fusion?!

Ferb: If there’s time.

Dipper: …

Anne: …

Luz: …

Mabel: You can do it!

Phineas: Thanks Mabel.

Dipper: I have my doubts but would love to be proven wrong.

Anne: Same.  Anyways, I have to go or I’ll be late.  Bye!

Anne has logged off

Dipper: We should go too.

Mabel: UGH, fiiine!  Bye everyone, talk to you later!

Dipper has logged off

Mabel has logged off

Phineas: Ferb, we should finish up this last test then get some rest before school

Ferb: 👍

Phineas has logged off

Ferb has logged off

Luz: Later taters!

Luz has logged off

Notes:

Any and all spam comments will be reported and deleted.

Chapter 2: Welcome To Gravity Falls

Summary:

Dipper discovers a mysterious book in the woods. Canon ensues.

Notes:

So originally this fic was going to start on Anne's birthday, but then I looked up the Gravity Falls timeline and found out that Tourist Trapped takes place on the 1st of June, and Dipper and Mabel had already been in Gravity Falls for a while. I have an explanation I'll get to in a future chapter. Though it did mean I had to rewrite parts of the fic and then make a timeline for The Owl House because it doesn't have one outside of Reaching Out taking place on August 22nd.

June 1st, 2020

 

Dipper: Okay, crazy morning!

Dipper: Grunkle Stan made me go hang up posters in the middle of the forest…which now that I type that out sounds super weird and ineffective.

Dipper: Anyways!  I try to hammer a nail into the tree, but it’s a metal panel hiding a dusty old control device!

Dipper: I flipped the switch, and a secret compartment in the ground opens up to reveal this!

Dipper uploaded mystery-journal.jpg

Anne: That is super freaky.

Luz: And super cool!

Dipper: I know, right?!

Dipper: Now check THIS out!

Dipper uploaded journal3-opening.jpg

Dipper uploaded journal3-eyeballs.jpg

Dipper uploaded journal3-giantvampirebats.jpg

Dipper uploaded journal3-gnomes.jpg

Phineas: Gnomes are real?  I wonder how they’d feel about the ridiculous number of them in the Tri-State Area?

Anne: There can’t be that many.

Luz: There are.

Ferb: Roughly 81707 of them.

Dipper: …Why?

Ferb: 

Dipper: Well apparently real Gnomes have no known weaknesses…which is kind of terrifying.

Luz: As long as you don’t fight any, then you’ll be fine.

Dipper: I guess you’re gfgjhakl

Anne: Dipper!

Phineas: The Gnomes got him!

Dipper: No, I’m fine.  Mabel just popped out from behind a log while I was reading…this.

Dipper uploaded journal3-TRUSTNOONE.jpg

Luz: …what the heck?

Ferb: Ominous.

Phineas: I mean, you can trust us.

Dipper: …But can we really?  How much do we really know about each other?

Dipper: And what about Unknown?  They’re literally UNKNOWN!

Mabel: I trust him.  He brought us together!

Mabel: Speaking of bringing people together…THIS GIRL’S GOT A DATE!

Anne: You go girl!

Dipper: I was gone for 20 MINUTES!

Luz: Love works in mysterious ways.

Mabel: See, SOMEONE believes!

Mabel: Just look!

Mabel uploaded relationshipgoals.jpg

Mabel: See, don’t we look good together?

Mabel: Welp, I gotta go!  Time for our first date!

Mabel has logged off

Anne: …so that dude is some weird supernatural creature, right?

Dipper: Yes,

Luz: Definitely.

Phineas: Absolutely. 

Luz: Welp, lunch is ending soon.  Gotta go!

 

—

 

Dipper: So after consulting the journal – and Soos, the Shack’s handyman – I’m positive “Norman” is a Zombie.

Phineas: Soos also thinks he’s a zombie?

Dipper: Yes, but he said I need proof.  So I’ve been following the two of them around town and recording them all day.

Anne: That’s creepy.  Potentially justified, but still creepy.

Anne: So, did you get proof?

Dipper: You tell me.

Dipper uploaded zombieproof.vid

Ferb: This is circumstantial at best.

Dipper: COME ONE!

Anne: I mean just because he fell into an open grave and burst his way up doesn’t mean he’s a Zombie.  Nor does his high pain tolerance.

Dipper: Well I’m going to confront Mabel.  She needs to know!  He could eat her brain!!!

Dipper has logged off

 

---

 

Dipper has logged on

Dipper: Well, Mabel thinks I’m crazy.

Dipper: Norman never blinks, and I told her that.  Her response was “Well maybe he’s blinking when you’re blinking.

Anne: Girl’s got a future as a Lawyer.

Dipper: Maybe she’s right.  Maybe I am–

Phineas: Dipper?

Anne: @Dipper

Anne: Dude, it’s been 5 minutes.  You’re scaring us.

Dipper uploaded hand.vid

Anne: Oh… Oh no…

Phineas: So he’s a zombie.

Dipper: CANT TAJL FPOM TP RESVIE MABel FRP TJE ZOMBIE

Phineas: What?

Anne: Can’t talk, going to rescue Mabel from the zombie.

Phineas: How did you decipher that?

Anne: Years of practice.

 

---

 

Mabel: Well that was awful.

Anne: You’re back!

Phineas: Did you stop the zombie?

Dipper: There was no zombie.  It was gnomes!

Mabel: So many Gnomes!

Anne: Really?

Mabel: Yes!  They wanted me to be their queen, I said no, so they kidnapped me!

Anne: What?!

Ferb: At least it wasn’t a zombie.

Dipper: No, because a zombie would be easy to defeat!  Gnomes apparently can join forces like a Power Ranger Mechazord, and turn into a MEGA GNOME!

Mabel: We barely survived after fleeing in a golf cart!  They used themselves as projectiles!

Anne: How did you escape?!

Mabel: I said I’d marry them, then when Jeff – that’s the head Gnome – got close, I SUCKED HIM INTO A LEAFBLOWER AND LAUNCHED HIM BACK FROM WHENCE HE CAME!

Dipper: And the MEGA GNOME exploded, and all the individual Gnomes scattered,

Mabel: One got caught in plastic from a six pack of Pit-Cola and was carried off by a deer!

Dipper: Then we went inside the shack and Grunkle Stan gave us each a free item from the gift shop since he saw that we were upset…I still think there’s a catch other than “Do it before I change my mind”.

Phineas: Or maybe he actually likes you because you’re family.

Mabel: …the jury’s still out.

Mabel: Though check out what I got!

Mabel uploaded graplinghook.jpg

Mabel: GRAPLING HOOK!

Phineas: Cool!

Anne: Why would a tourist trap sell functioning grappling hooks?

Dipper: Don’t question it.  I for one went with a simple hat to replace the one the Gnomes ate.

Dipper uploaded hat.jpg

Anne: Huh, you somehow make it work.

Dipper: Is that an insult or compliment?

Anne: Insult towards the hat, complement of you.

Mabel: It’s not a good hat Dips.

Dipper: It is too!

Ferb: Pine trees are so 2012.

Dipper: Well I like it!

 

---

 

Luz: Hey. Oh wow, a lot happened while I was gone.

Phineas: Hey Luz.  How’d the book report go?

Luz: UUUUGGGHHHH!

Anne: Yeesh.  That bad?

Luz: The back up snakes got out and attacked.  Then while I was getting scolded by the principal, the main snake leapt out of my hand and bit him.

Luz: Now I have to spend most of my summer at a camp to help people be normal.

Anne: WOAH, WHAT?!

Dipper: That’s messed up!

Mabel: KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Phineas: I don’t get it

Luz: It’s not like that!  Mom would have never sent me to a place like that!

Luz: It’s called Camp Reality Check.  Helping kids learn how to write a check and appreciate public radio.

Anne: Oh thank God.

Dipper: That’s a relief.

Mabel: STILL KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Phineas: That sounds boring.

Luz: Because it will be!  And I have to spend my WHOLE summer there!

Luz: It’s not like I wanted the snakes to attack people!  They were perfectly fine with me, so I thought they’d be calm in the class.

Dipper: Well you were only a single person vs a whole classroom of teenagers.

Luz: Look, it’s obvious in hindsight, but until it went wrong, I was convinced it would work out.

Luz: Now I– WAIT MAGICAL CREATURES ACTUALLY EXIST!  I was so busy wallowing that it just flew over my head!

Luz: I need a distraction!  Show me more!

Dipper: Okay okay, check this one out.

Dipper uploaded journal3-ghosts2.jpg

Phineas: So ghosts exist?

Luz: Apparently!  And these ones look like you owe them money, pal.

Anne: Do another.

Dipper uploaded journal3-plaidypus.jpg

Phineas: Hey Ferb, it’s a platypus!  Just like Perry!

Luz: Who’s Perry?

Ferb: He’s our pet Platypus.

Ferb uploaded perry.jpg

Mabel: OH MY GOD HE’S SO CUTE!

Luz: AY QUÉ LINDO!

Dipper: Woaahh, does he do any tricks?

Phineas: He’s a platypus, they don’t do much.

Dipper: Well the Pladipus apparently smells like maple syrup and bacon and…is highly sought after for its pelt.

Phineas: BOOOO!!!

Ferb: BOOOO!!!

Anne: BOOOO!!!

Mabel: BOOOO!!!

Luz: BOOOO!!!

Dipper: BOOOO!!!

Mabel: If I find one, I will guard it with my life!

Phineas: Save the Pladipus!

Dipper: Okay, new goal for the summer!  Save a Pladipus.

Mabel: YES!

Luz: Okay, I’m getting tired.  Thanks for cheering me up.  I’ll see you tomorrow.

Phineas: Yeah, we should probably go to sleep too.

Phineas: Goodnight.

Ferb: Goodnight.

Anne: Goodnight.

Luz: Goodnight.

Dipper: Goodnight.

Mabel: Goodnight.

—

 

Later that night…

 

Up in the attic of the Mystery Shack, Dipper wrote in Journal 3.  Since it was unfinished by the author, he decided to take it upon himself to finish the task.

‘This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust.’ Dipper added to the journal.  As he wrote, Mabel was jumping on her bed while messing around with her new grappling hook.  She then fired her grappling hook through the chest of a stuffed tiger, and reeled it in.  ‘But when you battle 100 gnomes side by side with someone, you realize that they’ve probably always got your back.’ 

“Hey Mabel, could you get the light?” he asked.

“I’m on it!” She raised her grappling hook, took aim, and fired it, smashing the lantern…and the window.  “It worked!” she exclaimed, causing both of them to laugh.

Turning back to the journal, Dipper continued to write.  ‘Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town, but who knows what other secrets…are waiting to be unlocked.’

At the same time he wrote that, unbeknownst to anyone, Stan Pines walked into the Shack’s gift shop and punched in a code on the vending machine.  He looked over his shoulder to make sure no one entered, then the vending machine swung out to reveal a hidden passage.

He walked in, took one last look to make sure the gift shop was empty, then closed the passage behind him.

Chapter 3: When I Look In the Mirror

Summary:

On the morning of Luz going to Camp Reality Check, the mysterious host of the chat unlocks a new feature.

June 2nd, 2020

 

Luz: Well, today’s the day I go to camp.  I know it’ll only be for a month and a half, but it’s still gonna suck!

Dipper: That’s rough, buddy.

Luz: Don’t you quote Avatar to me in my time off crisis…actually, please do.

Phineas: Life happens wherever you are.  Whether you make it or not.

Ferb: Get out of the Bison’s mouth, Sokka.

Anne: Sometimes life is like this dark tunnel.  You can’t always see the light at the end of the tunnel.  But if you just keep moving, you will come to a better place.

Mabel: SECRET TUNNEL, SECRET TUNNEL!  THROUGH THE MOUNTAIN!  SECRET SECRET SECRET TUNNEL!

Luz: Well I guess that helped, a bit.

Unknown has rejoined the chat

Unknown: I may have something to help lift the mood.

Unknown: I meant to add this yesterday before I left…but I forgot.

Unknown unlocked voice calls

Unknown unlocked video chats

Unknown: Now you can call each other.

Unknown: Okay, I’m going again.  I might pop back in like this again to add more features in the future.  For now, Byyyeee!

Unknown has once more left the chat

Luz: Huh…well I guess that’s fun.

Anne: Okay I went to make a call, and it wants a picture of myself before I can use it.

Anne: And, done!

Dipper: Done!

Phineas: Done!

Ferb: ✅

Mabel: Done!

Luz: Oh…

Anne: What’s wrong?

Luz: I…it’s nothing.

Phineas: Luz, are you alright?

Luz: Sorry.  I’m kinda nervous talking about…it.

Anne: You know you don’t have to if you don’t want to.

Luz: But I do!  Okay…here I go.

Luz: I was born with slight fangs, dark purple hair, gold irises, and…purple blood.

Phineas: Cool.

Mabel: PRETTY!

Anne: I can imagine how people would react…yikes.  I’m sorry you had to go through that.

Luz: …You’re all taking this well.  Why?

Dipper:  Frist: Multiversal chat.

Luz: Fair.

Dipper: Second: That’s just a part of who you are.  We’re not going to judge you based on how you look.

Luz: Have you gone through something similar?

Dipper: I have a birthmark on my forehead that’s in the exact shape of the Big Dipper.  It’s how I got my nickname.  People can be cruel.

Phineas: Wait, Dipper’s not your name?  What is it?

Dipper: You will never know.

Anne: Mabel, what's Dipper’s actual name?

Mabel: It’s Mason.

Dipper: MABEL!  Ugh.  Please don’t call me that name, I hate it.  Kids used to call me Macy, so I started going by Dipper since that’s what Mabel would call me.

Luz: Understood.  Kids call me “Luzer”.

Anne: Been there.  Maggie has called me “Boobchuy” for years.  She might actually think that’s my name at this point.

Dipper: Thanks everyone.

Luz: Yeah.  Not being judged on my appearance for once was…refreshing.

Phineas: We’d never judge you for how you look.  After all, my head is a triangle.

Mabel: HOW AM I JUST NOTICING THIS?

Luz: How is that possible?  Biologically speaking.

Luz: Doctors have said I have some new mutation.

Phineas: Not sure, I’ve never asked.

Phineas: Lots of people in Danville have abnormal body proportions.

Ferb: My head’s a rectangle.

Phineas: Our friend Issabella’s head is shaped like a half-circle.

Phineas: Our sister Candace has a really long neck.

Phineas: It’s just normal here.  No one questions or judges.

Luz: Huh… Well Gravesfield is close to the Tri-State Area, so maybe there’s a connection.

Phineas: You should visit us over the summer.  After you get back from Camp that is.

Luz: I might just take you up on that offer.

Luz: At least you’ll be here when I get back.

Luz: See you all again in July.

Luz has logged off

Notes:

Next chapter is just a full write of A Lying Witch And A Warden but with Titan Lu there to make some small changes. I may have gotten carried away. That one is not done yet, so enjoy the first three, and I'll hopefully be back soon.

Chapter 4: A Lying Witch And A Weh

Summary:

On the day Luz is supposed to leave for camp, she follows a tiny owl through a portal door to a magical -- and slightly horrifying - new realm.

Notes:

Well, all the positive feedback only a day after posting motivated me to finish this chapter before Christmas. So, enjoy one final one before Dec 25!

Also, I went overboard with transcribing the whole episode when I didn't have to. But this fic did first start out as a fic I wanted to write because there weren't enough Amphibia fics, and then I also wanted to write a Titan Luz fic...so yeah my Bias is showing.

June 2nd, 2020

 

Luz waited outside her home, staring down at the sidewalk.  A whole month and a half at the most boring camp in the world was going to suck!  Her mom thought it would be good for her, but...she just couldn’t.  The camp was the opposite of who she was!  

Behind her, she heard the front door open as her mom stepped out.  “Oh. Oh, my baby.” Camilla Noceda said comfortingly as she came up and hugged Luz.  “Now don't worry.  Summer camp is only going to be for a month and a half.  You’ll be so busy balancing checkbooks and learning tooo…appreciate public radio, the time will fly by.”

That…didn’t help.  “But I don’t like any of that stuff.” Luz exclaimed, dejectedly.  “I like editing anime clips to music and reading fantasy books with convoluted backstories.”  She then added on, more to herself.  “And with my looks, I’ll never “fit inside the box” like the camp wants.”

“You’re beautiful the way you are, Mija.” her mother said comfortingly.  “And if the people at camp give you any trouble…they’ll regret it.” she threatened.

Camilla had already gotten Principal Hal’s predecessor fired for his discriminatory behavior towards Luz.  No one called her daughter “a freak” at a PTA meeting and got away with it.  Though towards the end of the investigation into his conduct, he also let slip that he was a raging racist and homophobe.  The school board had not been pleased.

“Thanks, mom.” she said.  Though in her head she thought.  ‘You’re the only one who thinks that.’  

Except…that wasn’t the case anymore.  Her new friends…her first friends in the chat actually liked how she looked. Mable had even called her pretty, which was a much needed boost to her self confidence.

Her mother continued, “Summer camp is a chance to make some friends but you have to try.  Can you do that?”

“Yes, Mom.” she answered sadly.  She walked over to their open trash can, and hesitantly placed her copy of The Good Witch Azura inside.  The very copy her dad had given to her before he…

At that moment, her mom’s phone buzzed.  “Oh, I gotta go to work.” Camilla exclaimed.  She came up behind Luz and kissed her forehead.  “Your bus is coming soon.  Text me when you get there.  Te quiero mucho, mija. (I love you very much, sweetie.)”

As she walked away, Luz said “Bye Mom.”  The moment she was out of sight, Luz went to grab The Good Witch Azura out of the trach, but it was gone!  “W-Where is it?!”

She couldn’t lose that book.  It was one of the last connections she had to her dad!  She rummaged around to see if it had sunken below the other garbage, but it wasn’t there!

Then in front of her, she heard an…owl hooting?  She looked up, and saw the most adorable tiny owl staring right at her.  But what caught her eyes was the sack of garbage in its beak, with The Good Witch Azura peeking out the top.

“Hoooot.” the tiny owl trilled.  Then it began to hop away into the woods.

“Tiny trash thief!” she shouted as she began to give chase.  

She followed it for a minute before the owl hopped into an old abandoned house.  This house had been something of an urban legend in the town, and was the source of rumors about sightings of mysterious lights and a hulking monster.

Luz had snuck out here once when she was little, and hadn’t felt creeped out at all.  In fact, it felt almost homely to her.  She’d gotten in big trouble though, so she never returned, until now that is.

The tiny owl hopped through the front door, and without a second thought Luz followed him inside.

“Stop adorably hopping away, you…Huh?” she began to say, but she stopped when she realized that she wasn’t inside an old dilapidated house, but a tent filled with junk.  “Woah, I thought I had a lot of weird stuff.  But this–” she said as she picked up a pink plastic clothes hanger that went through a doll head that was attached to the body of a stuffed crocodile, with its left arm replaced with a fork.  “–this is impressive.”

“Finally, you’re back!” A voice called out, causing Luz to drop the weird doll thing that may or may have not moved on its own a second before.  She cautiously walked over to the tent flap and peeked out.  “Now, let’s see what we’ve got here.”

The owl she had followed landed on top of a wooden pole.  Then an unnaturally pale hand reached out and screwed the owl on, turning it into wood.  

It was then Luz got a look at the woman, she had golden irises and long bushy grey hair.  She was wearing a red dress, and, and wearing a spotted green kerchief.

“Garbage,” the woman spoke as she pulled out a smart phone, before she proceeded to throw it away.  

“Garbage,” she said again as she pulled out a ring with a massive diamond affixed to the top.  Once again she threw it away.  

“Garbage”  This time she pulled out a chalice made of actual gold that was glowing.  Like before, she threw it away.

She then gasped, and pulled a pair of novelty glasses with springy eyes out of the sack.  “Now this… This will make me rich.” she declared confidently.  She then picked up the Good Witch Azura book, and held it over a lit candle.  “And this… Uh, this'll make good kindling.”

Before she could burn her book, Luz leapt out of the tent and grabbed it.  “Excuse me. Sorry, that's mine. Thank you.” she rattled off quickly.  She then turned and ran back for the door.  But before she could enter, it folded into a brief case. 

“You’re not going anywhere.” the woman said in a tone that sounded threatening.

With her escape cut off, Luz lifted the bottom of the tent, crawled out, and started to run…only to screech to a halt as she saw a medieval looking city spliced with something out of the Cthulhu Mythos.  

A massive hand shot up in the distance and grabbed a dragon.  On the ground, she saw beings that most people would only see in nightmares…or an acid trip.

As she began to panic, she saw a small fairy hovering next to her.  “Oh, hello, little fairy.  Are you going to tell me this is all a fantastical dream?”

Instead of that, the fairy revealed a maw of sharp teeth and shouted, “GIVE ME YOUR SKIN!”

Luz shrieked and swatted it down like a bug.  “Where am I?  Did I die?  Am I in the bad place?!” she asked aloud.  

Just then a pale white hand grabbed onto her shoulder.  “You wish.” the woman said, before dragging her back to the tent.  

Luz shut her eyes in fear, and rambled out quickly, “I’m so sorry!  I just wanted my book!  If you’re gonna eat my skin, just make it quick.  Just do it now!”

“Eat you?  Why would I eat a potential customer?!” the woman asked.

“Weh?” she exclaimed in confusion.  The teen opened her eyes, and saw a sign reading ‘Human Collectibles’ above the woman’s head.

“Can I offer you a human foot filled with holes?” She pulled out a lime green croc.  She put it away and pulled out a stick of men’s deodorant.  “A bar of green human candy?”  Then she pulled out a small portable TV.  “How about this black shadowbox that reflects only sadness?”

…None of that was even remotely close, causing Luz to laugh.  “That’s not all it can do.  Here, let me see it.”

She got two AA batteries out of a bowl labeled ‘Human Candy’ (none of which were actually candy) and popped them into the TV.  Some old workout video began to play, which quickly attracted a crowd.

“I’ll pay forty snails for the screaming box!” a three eyed lizard man shouted.

“I’ll give you a hundred!” a bat-like man shouted.

“Can I eat the tiny person inside?” a four eyed orange pig man asked.

The crown began to shout over each other as they all bided over the TV.  The woman turned to Luz and asked.  “What did you say your name was?” she asked.

“I’m Luz.  Luz Noceda.” she introduced herself.

“Well, Luz,” the woman spoke as she collected cash from the crowd.  “That was pretty clever.  For a Human.” she added at the end.

“That’s kind of a weird thing for another human to say.” Luz said.

The woman smirked.  “Oh dear child,”  She then pulled off the kerchief with a dramatic flourish to reveal long pointed ears.  “I’m not like you.”  She climbed onto the table.  “I’m Eda the Owl Lady, the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles!” the now identified Eda exclaimed.

“A witch?!” Luz asked with stars in her eyes.  Witches were real!

Eda continued, “I am respected, feared–”

“BUSTED!” was shouted as an arm slammed down on the TV, crushing it.  The crowd all immediately ran away from the newcomer in a bird-like mask.  He then pulled out a wanted poster depicting Eda and a small creature.  “Eda the Owl Lady, you are wanted for misuse of magic and demonic misdemeanors!”

“Weh!  Witch criminal!” Luz exclaimed in awe.

The guard continued.  “You are hereby ordered to come with me to the Conformatorium!”

Eda yanked her arm free, and shouted back, “Would you guys quit following me around?  I haven’t broken any of your laws…in front of you.”

The guard then grabbed Luz by her hoodie and lifted her up, causing her to yelp.  “And you’re coming too!  For fraternizing with a criminal!”

She was aghast at this.  No wonder the customers ran.  “What?!  That’s a load of–”

“All right, all right, you win.” Eda placated.  “Just let me get my stuff…” 

She reached down, then suddenly rose with her staff and smacked the guard across his head.  He fell to the ground, knocked out cold.  She quickly used her magic to pack up the stand, then grabbed a key with an eye on it from out of her hair.  She clicked the button, and the folded up door Luz had entered through appeared in her hand.

“Follow me, human!” Eda shouted as she began to run.  Not having another option, Luz gave chase.

“This is crazy!” Luz exclaimed.  “If I die here, my mom’s gonna kill me!”

Eda let out a scoff.  “I won’t let them hurt you.  A human like you is much more valuable to me alive than dead.” she informed her.

“Wait, what is that supposed to–” Luz began to ask.  However, before she could finish Eda shouted “WOOO”, grabbed Luz by her wrist, then took off into the air on her staff.

Luz held onto the staff like a koala with an iron clad grip.  One wrong move and she could fall off and then she’d be kaput!

“Flying staffs, crazy monsters, you’re a witch!  What is this place?!” she asked as Eda picked her up and placed her back onto her staff.

“This is the Boiling Isles.” Eda explained.  As she did, Luz looked out at the landscape in awe.  Red trees and grass, bone-white spikes of…something as tall as mountains.  Actually, they did look a lot like rib bones.  But Eda continued her explanation before Luz could give it too much thought.  “Every myth you humans have is caused by a little of our world leaking into yours.”

Just then, a creature flew by and screeched.  “A griffin!” Luz exclaimed happily.  It then opened its beak, unleashing its spider breath.  Lu’s already wide grin only grew.  “Viiindiiicaaatiooon!” she shouted.

“Yep, griffins, vampires, giraffes…” Eda rattled off.

“Giraffes?”

“Oh yeah.  We banished those guys.  Bunch of freaks.” That was…certainly information.

Luz asked, “What about Gnomes?”

“What’s a Gnome?” was Eda’s response.

“Okay, so not every myth.” she shrugged.

As they flew through the air, Luz felt…she couldn’t describe it.  At peace? Content? Full?  It was all of those, and yet none of them at the same time.  The closest she could get was it was akin to putting on clothes fresh out of the dryer after being out in the cold.  Even the smell of sulfur that permeated the air was great!

Luz discreetly pulled out her phone and snapped a picture of the landscape, which she then sent to the chat.

 

Luz uploaded isles.png

Ferb: Woah.

Anne: What the heck?!

Dipper: I thought you were just going to camp?!  Where are you?!

Luz: Can’t talk now.  I’ll tell you guys later.

 

Soon after, the flight came to an end.  They descended through the trees and landed on a path just inside a forest.  Eda hopped off the staff, but as Luz looked to her left she saw Eda’s severed hand still grasping on.  Then the hand moved.  She screamed and reeled back, causing her to fall off. 

“Oops, that happens sometimes.” Eda said as she screwed her hand back on.  

Luz stood back up.  This was all…a lot.  “Well, I’ve had enough adventure for today.  This is clearly not the PG fantasy world I always dreamed about, so can you help me get back home?”

“Only if you help me first.” Eda responded, followed by a snorting laugh.  She then used her magic to lift the sack that contained her stand, and began walking down the path.  “Now come along human.” she beckoned.

After less than a minute of walking, they exited the forest.  In front of them stood a large home with a massive stained glass window in the shape of an eye.  A stone tower was attached to the back.  It was amazing!

“Woah…” Luz exclaimed as she laid her eyes on it.  But at the same time, she was apprehensive.  They weren’t that far away from the market.  What if they were followed?  “Aren’t you worried about those guards finding us?”

“Nope.  My house has a state-of-the–art defense system.” Eda proclaimed.

Luz turned and saw…an owl head in place of a door knocker.

“Hoot hoot, password please.” the owl spoke in a grating high-pitched voice.

“Weh!  What…is…that?” Luz asked, unnaturally weirded out by the owl thing.

That was the wrong move, as she drew it’s attention.  “NEW FRIEND!” it screeched.  It then stretched out of the doorway.  “HI I’M HOOTY!  What’s yooour name?”  The bird tube was about to wrap around her and Eda, when the Owl Lady poked it in the eyes.  “OW!”

“We got no time for this, Hooty.  Let us in.” Eda demanded.

“All right all right, geez!  You never want to have any fun.” Hooty said, clearly upset.  “Ow!  Hoot.”  As if things couldn’t get any weirder, Hooty opened his beak which became the entrance way.  Eda casually walked in, though Luz was hesitant to follow and took a few seconds longer.  Hooty then closed his beak and burped.

“Was that a Lovecraftian horror?” Luz asked.

“I don’t know what that is, but Hooty’s probably it.” Eda said with a shrug.  “Any who, welcome to the Owl House!” Eda snapped her fingers, lighting up the room.  “Where I hide away from the pressures of modern life… Also the cops… Also ex-boyfriends.”

“This place is beautiful.” Luz complimented as she gazed up at the intricate owl carving on the ceiling.  “Do you live here all alone?”  Just then, the house shook as thunderous footsteps echoed out from down the hall.

“Actually, I have a roommate.” Eda responded.

 An imposing shadow slowly appeared on the wall as the roommate approached.  “Who dares intrude upon I…” A deep voice began.  Then an utterly adorable tiny dog-like demon with a skull on his head appeared.  He was wrapped in a towel and holding a rubber duck.  “The King of Demons?” he finished, his voice having pitched up quite a few octaves.  He then squeezed the duck which squeaked.

Luz’s eyes lit up.  “AY QUÉ LINDO!” she shouted as she ran over and scooped the little demon up in her arms.  “Eda, he's so cute!  Who’s a widdle guy?  Who’s a widdle guy?  Is it you?  Is it you?”

King was not happy about this, and began to struggle in an attempt to escape.  “NO!  I don’t know who your little guy is!  Eda, who is this monster?!”

Eda had to physically separate the human from the demon by pulling Luz back.  “This is Luz, the human.  She’s here to help us with our little situation.

At once, King’s mood did a one-eighty.  “Oh, hooray!” he cheered.

“Wait, wait, wait.  I don’t like the sound of this “situation”.” she said nervously.

“J-just, let me explain.” Eda urged.  She casted a golden spell circle in front of her, which began to depict stylized images of a demon like King.  “King was once a mighty king of demons, until his crown of power was stolen, and he became…this.”

“You mean this little bundle of joy?” Luz asked, once more holding King up to her face.

Eda continued.  “The crown is being held by the evil Warden Wrath, and locked away behind a magic force field that only a human can break through.  A human like you.”  She then dispelled the images as she finished the story.  

“If you help us retrieve his crown, we’ll send you back to your realm.  So what do you say?”  Eda then lifted King up by the head  “Plus, who could say no to this cute face?”

“No!  Please don’t encourage her!” King pleaded as he squirmed in her grasp which inevitably caused Eda to drop him.  “Weh.” he exclaimed as he hit the ground.

Before Luz had a chance to answer, Eda added on, “I mean, we’re kinda your only way home.”

“So I don’t really have a choice, do I?” she asked rhetorically.  Though even if she had a choice, she would still do it for King.  He was just so cute!  There was also this pull towards him that made her want to help him at all costs.  Though his story did raise some alarm bells in her head, even she couldn’t place way.  “Okay, I’ll do it!”

“Great!  Now we’ve got no time left to lose!” Eda exclaimed as she rushed Luz out of the Owl House.

Behind them, King picked up his rubber duck.  “Soon Mr. Ducky, we shall drink the fear of those who mocked us!”

“Where are we going?” Luz asked.

“Somewhere super fun!” Eda exclaimed.

 

---

 

It was in fact, not somewhere super fun.  It was the complete opposite of that.  It was a prison.

“Man, talk about gloomy.” Luz commented.

“I’ve commanded worse.” King shrugged off from atop her head.

“The Conformitorium, a place for those considered "unsuitable" for society.” Eda said.

Luz then spotted another wanted poster for Eda, which she took off the wall to get a better look at.  The promised reward was astronomical, so much so that she highly doubted it would be paid out if someone ever managed to claim it.

“Woah, these guys really have the hots for you.” she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Eda smirked.  “Yep.  But we were never caught because we’re too slippery.”

King then added, "Try to catch me when I’m covered in grease.  I’m a squirmy little fella.  Weh.”  He then slipped and fell off Luz’s head.  “You and I will sneak up to the top of the tower where they’re holding my crown.” he said while pointing to the aforementioned tower.

“And I’m gonna make sure the warden’s distracted.” Eda finished.

“Will I need a disguise?” Luz asked excitedly.  Before Eda or King could answer, she continued.  “I’ve been waiting to use this!” she exclaimed as she pulled her hood over her head, revealing it to have cat ears sewn onto it.  “Meow, Meow.”

“...it’s hideous.” King harshly commented.

“Oh you’ll fit right in.” Eda said with a small smile.  The witch summoned a platform of magic under Luz and King, which began to rise into the air.  “Hang on tight!”  The platform then quickly began to move through the air towards the tower.

When they reached a window they could enter through, the platform under them dissipated.  Luz quickly reached out and grabbed onto the window ledge before she fell with King wrapped around the back of her head like a cat.  Though he quickly leapt off her head and inside.

“Meet you guys at the top of the tower.” Eda informed them as she flew away to cause some mayhem.

Luz pulled herself up and through the window, only to immediately faceplant onto the floor.

“Ha ha, cats don’t do that.” King mocked.

She let out a frustrated sigh as she stood back up.  So far breaking into a prison hadn’t been all it was hyped up to be.  The human and demon began to cautiously make their way through the prison, gawking at the dozens and dozens of cells that lined the walls across multiple levels.

“Hey, cat lady.” A voice from a nearby cell called out.  Luz turned to see a dark haired witch with pronounced fangs and green eyes.  “How’d you get out of your cell?” she asked.

“Oh, no, no, no.  I’m not a cat.”  She pulled down her hood to show they were fake ears.  “Also I’m not a criminal.”

“Not yet, you’re not.” King helpfully added with maybe a bit too much excitement.

“Neither are we!” the witch protested.  “The stupid warden likes to lock people up who don’t fit in.  Like, I write fan fiction of food falling in love.  I like food, I like love, just let me write about it!”

From the cell next to hers, a demon with three eyes but five eye sockets piped in.  “I’m here because I like eating my own eyes.  “He did just that, and it rolled back into his head.

“WE AWE AGENTS OF FWEE EXPWESSION!” a tiny demon whose head was mostly a nose shouted.

“Yeah, she’s really big into conspiracy theories.” the witch explained.

“MONOTWEMES FIGHT EVIL!  THE TWIANGLE CWAVES CHAOS!  THE MACHINE GOD SEEKS CONQUEST AND DESTWUCTION!  THE END OF OUR WOWLD WILL SOON BE UPON US!  ANOTHEW DIMENSION’S CAT IS THE BANE OF GODS AND ELDWITCH NIGHTMAWES!” she shouted.

“Wait.  These aren’t crimes.  None of you actually did anything wrong!” she said angrily.  This hit far too close to home for her, and it made her angry.  Unseen by Luz, her irises shined ever so slightly in response.  “You’re all just a bunch of weirdos…like me.”

Suddenly, there were heavy footsteps that shook the floor, and they were fast approaching.  Dread permeated the air.  A cold chill ran down Luz’s spine.

“It’s Warden Wrath.  Hide.” the witch warned.

Luz and King quickly ducked into an open cell and closed the gate.  Luckily the levers on the outside were what locked them, so she hadn't just trapped them.  The door to the left slammed open, and a massive demon in a plague doctor-like mask entered.  

“I can hear you.” he drawled as he fully entered.  “Just what are you fools whispering about?”  Just then he stepped on the wanted poster of Eda, which Luz had dropped in her scramble to hide.  “Ah, the Owl Lady.”  Warden Wrath’s arm morphed into a hammer, which he slammed into the gate of the cell Luz and King were hiding in.  “I’ll get my hands on her soon enough.” he declared.  

He looked into the cell containing Luz and King, but before he could get a good look at who was in there, Tiny Nose began to shout.  “Fight against the oppwessow!  We will wesist!  We will conquew!  We will nevew be afwaid of you, you old cweep!”  Wrath stared down at her, then raised the lever and opened her cell.  “Hooway, I’m fwee!” she cheered.

Only for it to be cut short as Warden Wrath grabbed her with excessive force.  “Let this be a lesson to all of you.  There’s no place in society for you if you can’t fit in!” he threatened.  Then he marched out with Tiny Nose in tow.

As soon as the door slammed closed, Luz lifted the cell bars and rushed over to the lever of the witches cell.  None of them belonged here, and she wasn’t just going to let them stay here where they were at the Warden’s mercy!  She tried to lift it, but it just wouldn’t budge.  

“NO!  My weak nerd arms.” she lamented, but refused to stop trying.

“Just get out of here while you still can, kid.” the witch said in an utterly defeated tone.  She was resigned to remain here, forever.

“NEVER!” Luz shouted, catching the witch, the eyeball eater, and King off guard.  “None of you belong here!  And I. Won’t. Leave. You. HERE!”

As she said the last word, her eyes flashed gold, and the lever went up.  Not only did it go up, she pushed hard enough that it snapped like a dry twig and flew into the air where it embedded into the bottom of the floor above.

“Weh?!” Luz and King both exclaimed in shock.

“Woah.” the witch exclaimed.

“I…How?” She wasn’t that strong.  Was that...magic?  Could she do magic?!  Oh, that would be a dream come true–

“We gotta go!  My crown awaits!” King interrupted her thoughts.

“But what about the other–” she tried to insist, but the witch cut her off.

“I’ll get them.  You go do what you came here for.” she insisted.  “And good luck.”

“Thanks…uhhh…” She realized that she never got her name.  

The witch picked up on that, and introduced herself.  “I’m Kayta.”

“I’m Luz.” she responded in kind.

“Hurry.” King whined from atop her head.

Not wanting to keep the multiverse’s cutest demon waiting any longer, Luz took off towards the vault.  It wasn’t that hard to find as there was a giant door with the word “CONTRABAND” engraved into it. 

Right outside the door, they ran into Eda.  “Hey I just checked.  The warden is distracted tormenting some tiny creature.  He won’t be coming around here any time soon.” the Owl Lady said.  

Oh, right.  The excitement over her potential magic made her briefly forget about how the warden was arresting people just because they were weirdos that didn’t fit in his mold.

“My crown.  It’s close.  I can sense its power!” King declared as he scurried over to the door.  He leapt up onto the door handle and frantically began trying to turn it with his whole body.

“Aww, he gets so cute when he’s thirsty for power.” Eda commented, but Luz couldn’t appreciate it at the moment.

“It’s not fair that they’re all in here.” Luz said.  “They just wanted to be themselves.  Why does everyone think that being a weirdo is so bad?”

Before Eda could answer, King flung the doorknob to the ground where it landed at their feet.  He had somehow managed to completely pry it out of the socket.  He let out a mischievous little laugh as he pushed the door open and bolted inside. 

Eda began to walk forward.  “Come on,” she let out an exasperated sigh. “Before he hurts himself.”

At that moment, they heard King yelp “OW!” from within.

As Luz entered the room, she saw a column of light in the center that reached from the ground all the way to the ceiling.  King once again rushed forward and headbutted the barrier, only to bounce right off it.

“We have a human, remember?” Eda reminded the little Demon as he picked himself.

“Oh yeah!” King happily exclaimed.

Okay, this was her moment.  Luz took a deep breath to steel her nerves, then walked over to the barrier.  She placed a hand on it, and felt resistance.  She pushed harder, and it felt like trying to push two magnets of the same polarity together through really thick mud.  

She strained herself further, grunting and pushing forward.  She managed to push her hand through, then her arm up to the elbow.  Suddenly, a flash of light erupted and threw her back.

“Huh, well that wasn’t supposed to happen.” Eda commented.  Luz was a human, the barrier should have been nothing more than a bright patch of air to her.

Luz picked herself up and tried again.  This time she shoulder charged the barrier, successfully wedging her body partly inside.  From there she was able to push more than half her body through, and then the light erupted again.  Though this time, she was thrown inside.

“Made it!” she cheered as she picked herself back up.  She looked up, and on top of the pile sat a crown.  Except… “Wait a second.  Is that a…” She climbed the pile, and sure enough, it was a cardboard crown from Burger Queen.  She knew something about that story had seemed off!

She slid back down and went to once again push through the barrier, only for it to collapse instantly.  A safety mechanism to ensure no one trapped themselves inside on accident.

She handed the crown to King, who immediately began to hop in delight.  “My crown!  Yes, yes!  I can feel my powers returning!”  he put it on his head, and immediately went over and picked up a stuffed rabbit in the pile of confiscated goods.’  You there. Nightmare critter.  I shall call you Francois, and you shall be a minion in my army of darkness!”

“That crown doesn’t give him any power, does it?” Luz asked, unimpressed.

“Uh, no.” Eda confirmed.  “Look at us, Luz.  King and I don’t have much in this world.  We only have each other.  So if that dumb crown is important to him, it’s important to me.  And besides, us weirdos have to stick together, you know.”

Luz smiled.  It was a nice sentiment.  Plus she couldn’t be too mad about it all, as King looked so happy.  It reminded her of how she used to play with her own toys in the exact same way.

“Well we owe you one.  Now let’s get out of here before the warden finds us and loses his head.” Eda exclaimed.

“Too late.” The voice of Warden Wrath spoke from behind.

In a flash, his arm – which had been morphed into a blade – swung down and beheaded Eda.  Her head flew off her neck and landed in Luz’s arms, who promptly screamed in horror.  

Though before she could freak out any further, Eda yelled, “Ow! Oh, I hate it when that happens.”

Luz screamed again.  “Eda!  Are you…okay?!”

“Yeah.  This just happens when you get older.” she said in a tired voice.

“Does it?” the teen asked in a horrified voice.  Was that a thing for witches?  They could just detach their body parts when they got old!

“Finally.” Warden Wrath spoke.  “I have you cornered, Eda the Owl Lady.”  He began to walk towards Luz, but not before he took the crown off King’s head, who let out a surprised “Weh”.  “My guards could never get you, but I knew if I took your pet’s toy, you’d come running.  He then dropped King’s crown, and crushed it under his boot.

“NO!  My power!” King wailed in sadness.  Okay, now Luz was pissed.  She glared up at the imposing demon.

“What do you want with me?!” Eda shouted.  “I’ve never broken any of your stupid laws…in front of you.”

“I want you…” Suddenly, the warden produced a bouquet of flowers from…somewhere.  “To go out with me.”

“Wha…?/What?” Eda and Luz respectively exclaimed.

“Go get ‘em boss!” a guard from the side shouted encouragingly.  Wrath turned back and gave the guard a thumbs up.

“You’ve always alluded our capture.  You’ve always been the one who got away.  I found that alluring.” he confessed.

Luz grimaced. “I hate everything you’re saying right now.” she deadpanned.

“YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!” Wrath yelled.  

His hand turned into a mass of tendrils ,which he sent surging towards Luz.  They crashed into the teen, causing her to drop Eda’s head.  They then proceeded to wrap around her torso.  Wrath lifted her into the air.  

“So how about it, Owl Lady?”  He bent down and picked up her head by her hair.  “The most powerful witch of the Boiling Isles and the feared Warden Wrath.  We’d be the strongest power couple ever.  I mean, it’s not like you can say no right now.”

Eda took stock of the situation.  Luz was struggling to get out of his grasp, and a guard had picked up King who also struggled to break free.

She let out a sigh.  “Oh all right, warden.  You win.” she said with faux defeat.  “I’d just like to say something first.  Come closer.”  The warden brought her a few inches closer to his face.  “No.  Just come a little bit closer.”  He did so, and now she was inches away.  “Yeah, that’s good.”

She then sucked in a sharp breath, then blew a raspberry in his face.  Wrath stumbled back, dropping Luz in the process, who fell to the ground.

While Eda laughed, Wrath got angry.  “Impudent wench!  Don’t you know how many germs are in your mouth?  Eugh.”

“Get over it!” Eda loudly retorted.  “You had your guards stalk me and then you cut off my head!  I am not going out with you!”

“If you don’t accept, then I have no choice but to–” Wrath didn’t get to finish as Luz slammed Eda’s staff over the back of his head, knocking him to the ground.

Eda let out a soft chuckle.  “Niiice!”  The two guards in the room tried to intervene, but her body grabbed their hoods and yanked them down over their heads.

“Okay we’re going now!” Luz yelled as she grabbed Eda’s head and body, as well as King.  She got them all on the staff, but it just hovered there.  “Expecto flying?  Magicus Escapicus!” 

Behind them, Warden Wrath began to stand up.  Eda shouted, “Gun it, magic stick!”  The staff took off at the command, flying them towards freedom.

But from behind… “Owl Lady, I won’t let you get away again!” Wrath declared as both his arms morphed into masses of tendrils.  He used them to quickly pull himself forward in pursuit.

As they flew through the prison, they saw all the cells on the level had been opened.  A second later, they burst out the front door, with Warden Wrath hot on their heels.  He sent his left arm surging forward, which slammed into the trio and knocked them off the staff.  They fell down into a massive pit in front of the Conformitorium.  As Wrath landed, his hands morphed back into a blade.

“Ow, my bones.” King groaned.

“Luz, go back to the human world.” Eda urged.  She reached into her hair and pulled out the portal key.  She then gave it to Luz, and rushed off to face down Wrath.

“What about you guys?” Luz asked in concern.

King replied.  “If you think this guy is bad, you should have seen her last boyfriend.”

“Not my boyfriend.” Eda corrected as she dodged slashes.  She had to quickly grab King and dive out of the way as Wrath slammed both blades down on their position.  She ran over to Luz and put her on her staff, shouting “Go! Go!”

Luz began to protest, but it was cut off by the staff flying back up and away from the fighting.

Seeing the human escape made Wrath angry.  He took off his mask, revealing he had no visible eyes or a nose, only a mouth filled with fangs.  He opened wide and unleashed his breath of fire.  Eda quickly redirected it right back at him!  It crashed into his chest and flung him back until he crashed into the pit’s wall.

Instead of fleeing, Luz flew the staff back into the prison.  There she quickly found Kayta, the eyeball eater, and Tiny Nose.  Though for some reason, they weren’t making a break for it.

“Why are you guys just standing there?  This is your chance to escape.” Luz urged.

“The warden will catch us.  He always does.” the eyeball eater said sadly.

“We belong here.” Kayta added.

“Self-doubt is a pwison you can nevew escape fwom.” Tiny Nose mumbled, and they all murmured in agreement.

“So you have a different way of doing things; a different way of seeing things.  That may make you weird, but it also makes you awesome!” Luz encouraged.  The words came easy to her, as they were always what she had wanted to hear.  “Don’t you see it?”

“Why are you helping us?” Kayta asked.

“Because us weirdos have to stick together!” Luz declared, her eyes once again beginning to glow.  She hopped onto the staff.  “And nobody should be punished for who they are!”  Her words finally reached the escapees, who began to cheer.  “Now let’s get them!”

They dove into the fray just before Wrath could slam his blade hands down on Eda.  The former prisoners tackled the warden, while Luz followed behind on the staff, cheering for them.

“I eat my own eyes!” the eyeball eater yelled as he shoved Wrath.

“I think the wowld is a twiangle!” Tiny Nose shouted as she used her small body to trip him.

“And I practice the ancient art of fan fiction!” Kayta announced as she pinned him down.

With Warden Wrath pinned, the other two escapees grabbed his tendrils and tied them together.  They then flipped him onto his stomach and all pinned him on the ground.  Wrath opened and began to charge a fire blast.

“Who do you think you are?!” Wrath snarled.

Luz descended on the staff and landed in front of him.  “Do not underestimate me, Warden Wrath, for I am Luz, the human, warrior of peace…” After a dramatic pause, Luz retrieved fireworks from her backpack that she’d planned to be the act three closer for her book report.  “NOW EAT THIS SUCKA!”

She threw them into the air, then leapt up and batted them with Eda’s staff into Wrath’s open mouth.  The fire he’d been charging caused them to explode in his face.  As they flew into the air and went off, the injured Warden scampered away.

“Whoo-hoo! We won! Yes!” Luz and the escapees cheered.

As Eda and King walked up to Luz, the little demon said, “That was actually one of her better break ups.”

“Not a breakup.” Eda corrected again.  “Anyways, let’s bounce before any more monsters fall in love with me.”

Together, they all climbed onto Eda’s staff and flew away from the Conformitorium, the once gloomy sky now alight with fireworks.

 

---

 

Back at the Owl House, Eda set down her staff and turned to Luz.

“Well, a deal’s a deal.  Let’s get you back home.” she said.  She snapped her fingers and the key soared from Luz’s bag to Eda’s waiting hand.  She clicked the glass eye, and the portal door unfolded.

Luz was…kinda bummed.  Today had been crazy, but it had also been fun!  She turned back to face Eda and King, and saw King had a sad look in his eyes.  

“Before I go…”  She walked up to the little demon and pulled out a figure of Azura she had with her.  She removed the crown from around Azura’s hat and handed it to King.  “I know it’s not the same, but a king shouldn’t be without a crown.”

The little demon gingerly took the tiny crown and placed it atop his head.  “This…shall suffice.”  He then immediately turned to a potted plant in the corner of the room.  “You there, plant!  You are now under my command.” he said while trotting off.

“Oh, and don’t forget this.” Eda said, grabbing Luz’s attention.  

She handed her The Good Witch Azura, which had started this whole thing.  And under the book was the pamphlet for Camp Reality Check.  She stared down at the image of a kid literally fitting into a box.  She shifted it back under The Good Witch Azura.

Luz looked up at the portal door, but out of the corner of her vision she spotted a mirror on the wall.  She gasped as she raised her copy of her favorite book in front of it.  Azura stood at the center, with a small dog-like demon to the left and her old mentor in red to the right.  Then she slowly lowered it to see it mirrored in real life with King to the left and Eda to the right.

She turned back to face Eda.  “Okay, I know you got your head cut off, and we started some kind of prison riot, but this was the most fun I ever had.” she explained.  “I don’t fit in at home.  You don’t fit in here.  If I stay, we could not fit in together.”  She then took out the pamphlet and crushed it in her hand.  “I am not going back to summer camp.”

Eda looked confused.  “What’s summer camp?  What are we talking about here?” she asked.

“I want to stay here and become a witch like you and Azura.” She presented the book for emphasis.

“What?” Eda said with a chuckle.  She pushed the book down.  “All right, that’s crazy.  Humans can’t become witches.”

That did nothing to deter Luz.  “Maybe that’s because they haven’t tried.  If you teach me to become a witch, I’ll do anything you want.”  She then added, “Also I’m pretty sure I did magic during the prison riot before we met back up.”

“Let her stay.” King chimed in.  He then whispered, “She can make us snacks.”

Eda considered it for a moment.  The idea that Luz had magic was absurd.  Unless…

The Owl Lady smiled.  “Well I could use a hand in keeping this goofball out of the cupboards.”  As she said this, she picked up King.  “All right, I’ll teach you how to be a witch.  But you have to work for me before you learn any spells.  Deal?”  Eda reached out for a handshake…

Only for Luz to wrap her and King in a bear hug.

“What’s going on?”

“Too tight! Too tight!”

 

---

 

Luz: And that’s the end.

Phineas: Wow.

Anne: And here I thought Dipper and Mabel were going to have the craziest summer.

Mabel: It’s only day 2!  We got a lot more crazy in store!

Dipper: Yeah!

Luz: I still can’t believe it!  My lifelong dream of becoming a witch will finally come true!  If this is a dream, DO NOT WAKE ME!

Ferb: And to think this morning started off with us quoting Avatar.

Luz: “So what do we do now?” “Think about our place in the universe?”

Luz: So what happened with you guys today?

Anne: School.  Boring old school.

Phineas: Tomorrow is our final day of school.  Today we had the end of year science fair.

Ferb: Which we won.

Dipper: Not surprising given you invented a new type of energy.

Dipper: Nothing that exciting happened on our end.

Mable: We worked in the Shack and watched Ducktective.

Mabel: But who cares, show us a picture of this King of Demons!

Luz uploaded king.jpg

Mabel: OH MY GOD HE’S SO CUTE!!!

Anne: Look at his little bunny!

Dipper: I want to hug him.

Phineas: He’s adorable!

Ferb: 💕💕💕

Luz: He’s the cutest despot in two worlds.

Luz: Anyways, today wiped me out.  I’m going to bed now.  Night!

Luz has logged off

 

Luz was just about to put down her phone when it buzzed with another message.  She opened it to see that it was from her mom.

Mami: How’s summer camp?

From the doorway, she heard King clear his throat.  She looked up and saw him holding onto Francois.  “Your sleep cocoon looks comfy.”

Luz smiled and patted the sleeping bag.  King happily scoured over and made himself comfortable, walking in a circle three times like a dog before snuggling up with Francois.

Luz turned back to her phone.

Luz: I think I’m gonna like it here.

 

---

 

While Luz and King slept peacefully, Eda remained awake in her nest.  Her thoughts kept going back to Luz.  All the signs were there

No human she’d ever met had fangs, gold irises, or natural purple hair.  And if the kid was right about having done magic, well that was a whole other can of worms.  While she could have written it off as something small, Luz’s struggle to get past the barrier cemented an idea in her head. 

Luz wasn’t entirely human.

Whether she was part witch or part demon, or even both, she couldn’t be sure.  Not without testing for it.  Though to do that, she’d have to tell the kid about her suspicions, and her reaction to the Isle made it clear she had no knowledge of them.  So she probably didn't know that one of her parents was a demon.

Oh boy, that was going to be a fun conversation to have tomorrow.

Notes:

The Vindication part IS a reference to Brooklyn 99 which is one of my favorite shows. And that is a scene I always laugh at.

Chapter 5: Not Entirely Human

Chapter by Insecdroid

Summary:

Luz wakes up, ready for her first day of learning to be a witch, only to have a world altering revelation.

Notes:

I forgot how much I enjoy writing. My main fic has gotten kind of depressing, and the chapters became super long. Like over 10K words. I only got out 14ish this year. Then I write this, and not only am I having a blast, but I've received more kudos and subscriptions to this fic than I have to my main one all year. Heck, there's 24 subscriptions to IMAT already, while FASC has 27, and I started that one 3 years ago as of March 2nd 2026!

Thank you all for the support and kind words, they really mean a lot to me.

June 3rd, 2020

 

Luz opened her eyes to see a strange realm.  Cliffs of what looked like stone made of oil surrounded her.  Black liquid covered the ground, and strange cubes rose up from it and into the air.  Looking straight up, she saw more of the strange liquid directly above her.

“What is this place?”  she asked aloud.

Yet as soon as she asked…

…she awoke.

Luz sat up and looked around.  She saw that she was still in the Owl House.  King remained fast asleep, curled up at her feet.  A wide grin stretched across her face.

“It wasn’t a dream!” she happily exclaimed.  She got up and opened the window in her room.  She took a deep breath of the morning air, the scent of sulfur filling her nose.  “Good morning, terrifying fantasy world!” she shouted.

In the ocean, a massive green monster with multiple eyes waved to her.  “Good morning.” it politely greeted, before it sank back below the surface.  She shut the window right after.

Before leaving the room, she walked over to King and lifted him up.  He awoke with a sleepy “Eh?”

“Good morning, you little cutie-pie.” Luz said gleefully.  She repeatedly kissed the side of his head, but King was not a fan of it.  

“I am not your cutie-pie!” he shouted.

Luz just hugged him and replied, “Yes, you are.”  She set King down, then exited the room.  

The King of Demons flopped down onto his stomach.  “I know.” he sighed, before falling back to sleep.  That lasted five seconds before something he’d seen snapped him awake.  “Wait, didn’t Luz have… Ehh, whatever.” he shrugged off before rolling over and falling asleep again.

Luz found the bathroom just down the hall.  The door had a ladies bathroom sign affixed to it, and under it was a smaller sign made of cardboard.  It read “AND KING” with his paw print next to his name.

She opened the bathroom door, only to have to duck as two owls flew out.  She cautiously backed up into the bathroom staring back at the directions the owls flew in.  

“HI Luz!” Hooty suddenly greeted her from behind.  She shouted out of surprise, and in self defense she chopped her hand down on his head.  “OW!” he shouted as he slunk back through the window.  “I’m just wishing you a good morning.  Geez…Hoot.”

“Sorry Hooty.” Luz called out after him.  Though before she could leave the window, Hooty snaked back up and gave her an appraising gaze.  

“Hmmm… You look different!  Did you do something with your hair?” he asked as he began to rotate.

“Hooty, get out of the bathroom.” Luz urged.

“OKAY!” he shrieked.  He then retracted himself back down into the front door.

Once Hooty was gone, she slammed the window closed before he could reenter.  With him out of the way, she walked over to the mirror to begin a quick morning routine before her first day of learning to be a witch.  Yet when she looked in the mirror and saw her reflection, she yelped and fell backwards.

She quickly picked herself back up.  ‘That had to have been a trick of the light.’ she told herself.  She looked back in the mirror, but still saw the same thing.

“W-Wha- H-HOW?!” she stammered.  Staring back at her was her reflection, but now with black sclera framing her golden irises, which now almost seemed to glow.  No, they were glowing, just barely.  “What happened to me?”

Just then, Eda knocked on the bathroom door.  “Luz, are you alright?” she asked.

“Uhhh, just a sec!” she shouted back through the door.  She quickly pulled out her phone and began frantically typing.

 

Luz: EMERGENCY!

Luz uploaded eyes.jpg

Dipper: When did this happen?

Luz: Overnight, apparently!

Mabel: They look like stars!

Luz: What do I do?!

Luz: Also, thank you, Mabel.

Anne: Is it that big of a deal?  It doesn’t seem like it will cause issues on the Boiling Isles.

Luz: I mean when I get home!  How am I supposed to go home with black sclera?  How did this even happen?

Dipper: Maybe you should ask Eda. If this is because of the Boiling Isle, she’d know more than any of us.

Luz: Okay.  I’ll do that.  Thanks for talking me through this.

Anne: No problem, dude.

 

Luz put her phone away.   Dipper was right.  She walked over to the door, took a deep breath, the  opened it.

“So what’s all the–” Eda began.  She stopped abruptly as she met Luz’s gaze.  “Oh boy.”

“Eda, do you know what’s happening to me?” Luz asked.

Eda visibly hesitated, which was confirmation all on its own.  “I have a theory, but I need my morning cup of apple blood before having this conversation.”

“Don’t you mean apple juice?” Luz asked.

“No.” she responded bluntly.  “Come on, I’ll make breakfast while I’m at it.”

The door to the room Luz was staying in burst open.  “I heard breakfast!” King shouted.  “The King of Demons demands bacon and eggs!”

 

---

 

About half an hour later after Eda had her morning Apple Blood and Luz and King had eaten Griffon Eggs  with bacon (human realm bacon that Eda had “procured”) they returned to the topic of Luz’s changed eyes.  

They migrated to the main room where Luz and King sat on the couch while Eda stood across from them.  Eda was still nervous to broach the topic, but it would be unbelievably cruel to not tell her at all.

“Okay, Luz.  I may have an idea as to what’s going on with you.” Eda began.  “I’m pretty sure this is puberty.”

“Uhhh, Eda, that’s not how human puberty works.” Luz corrected.

Okay, moment of truth.  Eda took a deep breath.  “No…but it is how witch and demon puberty works.”

It took a moment for the information to process.  “...Weh?!”

“Yeah.  I hate to be the one to tell you, but you’re not entirely human.  I had my suspicions after your claim of being able to do magic.  This–” Eda gestured to Luz’s eyes, “Pretty much confirms it.  When Witches and certain Demons come of age, they can go through drastic changes in appearances.  Some even grow new limbs.”

“Like the X-Men.” Luz whispered.  “But how is this possible?”

“Well…when…uhhh, a Witch o-or Demon loves a human very much–” Eda began awkwardly.

“STOP!” Luz shouted, her face turning red.  “I took biology, I know about…that.  I meant that both my parents were human, and they were equally confused about why I had these traits.”

That put a spanner in the works…but there was another option.  “Well certain Demons can reproduce with more than one person, but that’s exceedingly rare.  As in I don’t think there's more than ten people alive today who fall into that category.”

“Is there any way to tell?” Luz asked.

“Not without getting a doctor involved, and most of them are a part of the Healing Coven, which is a no go.” Eda answered.

Before Luz could ask why, the front door slammed open.

“I know a doctor!” Hooty shouted.  He then began hacking and coughing until a large owl pellet fell onto the floor, causing the residents of the Owl House to recoil in disgust.  “Here she is, hoot!”

“Hooty, you can’t just bring anyone in here!” Eda yelled.  “We don’t know if they’re trustworthy.”

“Sure they are!” Hooty headbutted the pellet, causing it to crack open like an egg.  Inside, a shell-shocked Tiny Nose sat staring blankly into the ether.

“I knew that’s where awl teeth come fwom.” Tiny Nose said in a slightly horrified but also triumphant voice.  She then noticed Luz and Eda, and shook off her shock.  “Oh, hewlo again.”

“Tinella?” Eda asked.  “You’re a doctor?”

“I gwaduated medical school.” Tinella proudly proclaimed.

“...Why did Hooty eat you?” King asked, utterly disgusted.

“I awso gwaduated fwom dentawl schoowl.” she replied.

“Well I guess we can trust her.”  Eda shrugged.  She was imprisoned by Wrath.  “So Doctor Nosa, would you be willing to check what type of Demon Luz is?”

“Of cowse!  I’wl just need a smawl bwood sample.”  she said.  Then she proceeded to pull out a needle bigger than she was.  Heck, it was nearly half the size of Eda!

Now Luz wasn’t squeamish, but the sight of a syringe so large caused her to faint.

 

---

 

Luz awoke a minute later.  She sat up, feeling light headed but overall fine.  There was no searing pain a needle like that should have left behind, at least.

“What happened?” she asked as she rubbed her head.

Tiny Nose– Tinella– Doctor Nosa took out a small syringe filled with purple blood.  “You passed out befowe the sywinge could shwink.  It can magically adjust to any patient, and I last used one on a giant.”

“That’s….the same one?” Luz asked, now grossed out.

“Of course not!  But evewy once changes size at once in case I have to use multiple.” she clarified.

“Oh good.” Luz said, breathing a sigh of relief.  “So…what does it say?”

“I stiwl need a few minutes to process the wesult.” she replied.  A few minutes turned out to be around ten. The whole time, Luz impatiently paced around the room.  Finally, Tinella spoke again.“Wewl, I have youw wesults!” Tinella announced.  “You awe indeed hawf demon, Wuz.  Congwatuwations!”

Hooty took the opportunity to blast some party poppers he had stored somewhere in his body.  The result was him opening his beak and confetti flying out.

“...Okay.” Luz responded simply to that world changing and shattering info.  She had hoped that Eda was wrong, but a medical professional confirming it meant it must be true.

Eda quirked a brow.  “You seem to be taking this well.”

She turned to Eda.  “Oh no, I’m freaking out on the inside.  Like, a lot!” she clarified.  “I just want to have all the information before I scream into a pillow.”  She turned back to Tinella.  “Is there anything else I should know?”

“Wewl, Demon Wealm food should be safe fow you to consume.” Tinella informed.

“Unless it has dairy in it.  I’m lactose intolerant.” Luz clarified.

“Noted.” Eda said with a nod.  That was actually good news.  Griffon eggs were expensive, and one of the only foods she knew to be human safe.  

The tiny demon continued.  “It seems your demon side was dowmant up to ow due to the lack of the isle’s ambient magic.  Eat plentty of magic wich food to help you gwow pwopewly.” 

So that’s what that feeling was yesterday!  Her body needed magic to function and she was just getting it for the first time.  Actually, now that she thought about it, she did feel more energized than she usually did.  Also that sleep she had last night was far more restful than usual, even with that weird dream.

“Youw eyes should now awlow you to see in the dawk, but you wiwl be sensitive to suydden flashes of lights.  Also, you have enhanced muscle growth that wiwl lead to gweat stwegnth.” Doctor Nosa said.

“So it wasn’t magic yesterday.  I just have super strength!” Luz proclaimed.  That was actually pretty cool.  She reached down and easily lifted the coffee table with one hand.  “Awesome.”

King leapt up on top of the table.  “I rise above you all!” he proclaimed while pumping his fists into the air.

“All right, put that down before you break it.” Eda urged.  Luz did so, and King let out a disappointed whine as he once more was below knee hieght.  “Is that it?” Eda asked Tinella.

“Youw can expect mowe changes ovew the next few months.” she answered.  “Though I cannot saw fow cewtain what they wiwl be.”

Okay, so the black sclera were just the beginning.  Cool… “Is that all?” Luz asked.

Tinella nodded.  “Yep.  That’s awl I was able to gathew.”

“Wait.” Eda interjected.  “What kind of demon is she?”

“The wesults were inconcwusive.” Doctor Nosa replied.  “Mowe testing wiwl be needed.  Ones I can onwy do at my pwactice.  Those tests wouwld also awlow me to get an idea of what othew changes yow can expect.”

“Well if that’s everything…I’m going upstairs to scream.” Luz said, before quickly leaving the room.  Aside from the super strength, everything else was a lot to process, and she was not taking it very well.

She was a half demon; she was partially from the Boiling Isles.  Not only that, but either her mami or papi were from the isles, or she had a third parent none of them ever knew about!  She’d been unknowingly starved her whole life, and now her body was changing and not in the ways health class prepared her for!

While she’d always thought it would be cool to live as another race in a fantasy world, she’d never thought that it would happen to her!  How was she ever supposed to go home?!  People already called her a freak before all of this happened!  

…What about her mom?  She’d planned to pretend she was at camp all summer and come home after like nothing had happened.  How was she supposed to tell her she went to a magical world where she found out she was half demon?

She reached the room she was staying in, and unleashed all of her worries and frustration by screaming into a pillow.

Notes:

Kind of iffy about the ending as I struggled to wrap it up, but I think it works for now.

Next time, Episode 2 of both Gravity Falls and The Owl House: The Hunt For Fame. Then, Episode 3 of The Owl House, and the start of Phineas And Ferb!

Also, you can expect the chat to start getting bigger as of the next episode.

Chapter 6: The Hunt For Fame

Chapter by Orahm Xoorha (Insecdroid)

Summary:

Dipper and Mabel go on a monster hunt to win a cash prize, while Luz pursues a supposed Chosen One prophecy. Also, the chat starts to grow.

Notes:

Probably should have included the first part at the end of the last chapter. Don't know why I didn't, as I had it written in time. Oh well.

ENJOY!

June 3rd, 2020

 

Luz: Well, I’m apparently half-demon. 

Anne: What?!

Mabel: What?!

Dipper: What?!

Phineas: What?!

Ferb: ⁉️

Luz: Just in case I didn’t mention it, that’s the overall species name for anyone who isn’t a witch on the Boiling Isles.  Not the type of demon you think of when you hear “demon”.

Dipper: How is this possible?

Luz: That’s what I was asking!  Neither of my parents were from here!

Phineas: How are you taking it?

Luz: Poorly…but I’m doing a bit better now.  Screaming into a pillow helped a lot.

Luz: Honestly, it feels good to know I’m not a freak.  I was just born in the wrong place…somehow.

Anne: You were never a freak!  Who told you that?  I want names!

Luz: Everyone, my whole life.

Mabel: Well they’re wrong!

Phineas: Yeah, you’re great Luz!

Luz: Thanks guys.  That means a lot.

 

---

 

Dipper: Woah, check this out.

Dipper uploaded magazine.jpg

Phineas: Human sized hamster ball?  Ferb, write that down!

Ferb: 📝👍

Luz: I think he meant the monster photo.

Dipper: Exactly!

Anne: That’s nothing compared to what you both have seen.

Dipper: I know!  And get this: Each month they ask readers to send in pictures.  If you're chosen to have your picture shown in the next issue, there’s a cash prize of $1000!

Mabel: Imagine what you could do with that money!

Mabel: …

Mabel: DIPPER, WE GOTTA WIN IT!

Luz: Did you seriously type “...” to show you were thinking about it?

Mabel: 100%!  I want a human sized hamster ball!

Dipper: Do we have any photos of those gnomes?

Mabel: Nope, just the memories, injuries, and this beard hair.

Mabel uploaded beardhair.jpg

Phineas: …Why did you save that?

Mabel: I don’t know.

Anne: It shouldn’t be too hard.  I mean Luz can always just take a picture on the Isles and send it to you.

Luz: Even a magazine like that would think the Isles are too fake looking.  They’d never run it.

Phineas: That's fair.  I can hardly believe it myself.

Dipper: Oh no.

Anne: What’s wrong?

Mabel: Family fun day.

Anne: Oh no.

Phineas: I hope it's not like your last one.

Dipper: You and me both, Phineas.

Luz: What’s wrong with a family fun day?

Mabel: The last one was us helping Grunkle Stan make counterfeit money.  We spent the night in the county jail.

Luz: WHAT?!  When did this happen?!

Mabel: Before the chat.  We were talking about it yesterday.

Anne: Funnily enough, we were probably discussing it during your prison break in.

Dipper: Well Stan’s assured us that this one will be different.

Mabel: Now to put on some blind folds and get into his car!

Ferb: This cannot end well.

 

---

 

Dipper: It’s fishing.  That’s family fun day.

Phineas: Well that sounds fun.

Anne: Well that sounds boring.

Luz: Ah, the duality of man.

Mabel: The whole town’s out on the lake today.

Dipper: Woah, there’s some buff lumberjack punching a fish.

Luz: Cool!

Luz: Oh, Eda’s calling for me.  BRB.

Luz has logged off

Mabel: He made us hats!

Mabel uploaded fishinghats.jpg

Anne: Huh, I think he actually wants to fish with you guys.

Mabel: Wait, he said it’s gonna be for 10 HOURS!

Dipper: OH NO!  He has the joke book!

Mabel: NOOOOOOO!

Phineas: They can’t be that bad.

Dipper: Hold on, some old guy is yelling about how “he’s seen it again.”

Dipper: Oh he’s going on a rampage…if you can call flipping some tables and knocking a sandwich out of some guy’s hand a rampage.

Mabel: Aww, he’s doing a happy jhaljkdsm

Phineas: Mabel?

Mabel: Sorry, the old guy knocked it out of my hands.  He’s getting sprayed with water now by his son who’s the game warden.

Anne: That’s awful.

Dipper: He mentioned something called “The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker”.

Anne: Lol.  What kind of name is Gobblewonker.

Dipper: Apparently it’s a lake monster.

Phineas: Oh, so like the Nosey, Lake Nose Monster.

Mabel: Don’t you mean the Loch Ness Monster?

Phineas: No, the Lake Nose Monster is rumored to live in Lake Nose just outside of Danville.

Dipper: Well the Gobblewonker might just be our ticket to that $1000!  Mabel, you thinking what I’m thinking?

Mabel: Monster hunt!

Dipper: Monster hunt!

Anne: Monster hunt!

Phineas: Monster hunt!

Ferb: Monster hunt!

Luz has logged back on

Luz: Monster hunt!

Dipper: You’re back.  What did Eda want?

Luz: She wanted me to do her potion delivery, but secretly I think she’s trying to cheer me up.

Anne: By…dumping her work on you?

Luz: By giving me an excuse to see Bonesborough, the local town! …Also to dump her work on me!  King’s coming with me.

Dipper: Well, have fun!  We’re going lake monster hunting!

Phineas: What about fishing with your Grunkle?  

Mabel: BORING!

Dipper: We’re going to Scuttlebutt Island.

Mabel: Hehe, Scuttlebutt…

Luz: Lol

Anne: Lol

Phineas: Lol

Ferb: Lol

Dipper: Well Stan refused.  But Soos is here now with a whole boat instead of an old Dingy!  He’s coming monster hunting with us.

Mabel: Soos is the best!  I wish he was here with us.  In the chat I mean.

Unknown has spawned in

Unknown: RIGHT!  I totally forgot about that.  

Unknown: You can add others into the chat.  Just send them a request.  Also, if they don’t have a phone or scroll (Boiling Isles smartphones) then you can still add them and a phone/scroll will be summoned for them to use.

Unknown: Also, I’m working on Speech To Text for the chat.  But for now, this is all I have to give.

Unknown has despawned

Dipper: Well in that case…

Jesús Alzamirano Ramirez has been added to the chat

Soos: Sup, hambones?

Luz: I already like him!

Soos: …Monster hunt!

Dipper: MONSTER HUNT!

Mabel: MONSTER HUNT!

Mabel: We’re gonna find that Gobblewonker!

Dipper: We’re gonna win that photo contest!

Soos: Do any of you dudes have sunscreen?

Dipper: …We’re gonna go get sunscreen!

Mabel: Yay!

Soos: Yay!

 

---

 

Luz: Well this has been a bust.  A house tried to eat my arm!  I thought this world would be more exciting.

Anne: Luz, you broke into a prison yesterday.

Luz: Touché.

Luz: Wait.

Luz: Oh…my…GOD!

Luz uploaded castle.jpg

Phineas: Awesome!

Anne: That is so cool!

Mabel: I wonder if a princess lives there?!

Dipper: I don’t know.  That castle seems out of place.

Anne: Now that you mention it…

Luz: King is saying only weirdos live in places like this…maybe you’re all onto–

Luz: WIZARD!  A Wizard lives here!

Mabel: Eh, close enough.

Anne: Well, have fun with the wizard.

Luz has logged off

Dipper: Okay.  Mabel, Soos.  Listen up!  As captain of this ship, I say we discuss our plan.

Mabel: Why do you get to be captain?  I want to be captain!

Ferb: Soos should be captain.  It’s his boat.

Soos: We should all be co-captains!

Dipper: …well, it is Soos’s boat.

Soos: So what’s the plan, co-captain Dipper?

Dipper: Well, co-captain Soos and co-captain Mabel, what’s the Number 1 problem in monster hunts?

Soos: You’re a side character and you die in the first five minutes of the movie.

Soos: …Dude, am I a side character?  Do you ever think about stuff like that?

Anne: Is it that everyone has a single digit IQ until only the last person remains?

Dipper: No, no, no.  Also Anne, that’s Horror movies.  It’s camera trouble.  Say Bigfoot shows up, you go to grab your camera, but you have no film, or it's broken, or it comes out blurry, or any number of stuff.

Dipper: That’s why I bought 17 disposable cameras!  2 on my ankle, 3 in my jacket, 4 for each of my co-captains, 3 extras in a bag, and 1 under my hat.  Then of course, the cameras on our phones.

Phineas: Talk about being prepared.

Mabel: Just use your phone, Dipper.

Dipper: I’m not taking that risk.  What if it dies, or breaks?

Ferb: Better to have 17 cameras and not need them, than to need 1 camera and not have any.

Dipper: Exactly.

Anne: Well good luck, but I got to get to class.  Upload those pics of the Gobblewonker for us!

Anne has logged off

Dipper: Okay…we have 12 cameras.

Phineas: It’s been 30 seconds.  How do you already only have 12?

Mabel: Soos flash-banged himself with one and threw it away by mistake.  Then I threw one at a bird that was coming for me!

Soos: Then I misheard Dipper and threw 2 cameras away.

Dipper: And then I slammed my fist down on the closed cooler to make a point and crushed one.

Mabel: I have a good feeling about this monster hunt!

 

---

 

Luz: I’m back!  How is everyone?  You get that picture yet?  I bet you did!  You guys are the best!

Soos: Nope, we just got onto Scuttlebutt Island.  Well, we’re nearing the shore.

Mabel: You seem happy?  WAIT!  Did that Wizard give you a magic quest?!

Luz: Yeah!  I’m a chosen one!  It all makes sense now!

Dipper: It does?

Luz: I’m a half-demon born in the human realm, until one day I stumble my way to the Demon Realm where I fulfill an ancient prophecy!  That’s why I never fit in!

Soos: Awesome, dude!

Luz: Thank you, Soos!  At least SOMEONE believes me.

Dipper: I mean…it does sound unbelievable.  But then again so does everything we’ve experienced.

Luz: That's what I said!  But SOMEONE thinks that hdakjl

Luz: This is the King of Demons!  I have claimed ownership of this human scroll!

Luz: As I told Luz the Human, wizards are just old men in jimjams!

Luz: NO!  YOU WILL NOT SILENCE ME!

Luz: And I’m back!  Sorry about that.  King was right, he is a squirmy little fella.

Dipper: Was he reading over your shoulder the whole time?

Luz: Yes.  Yes he was.

Luz: Well, good luck on your monster hunt!

Mabel: Good luck on your magic wizard quest!

 

---

 

Dipper: And, landfall!  We made it.

Soos: Let’s go get that picture!

Mabel: It’s so foggy.

Soos: Hehe, check this out.

Soos has uploaded coveredsign.jpg

Soos: Butt Island.

Mabel: Soos, you rapscalion!

Phineas has logged on

Ferb has logged on

Phineas: And school is out!  Time for three straight months of summer fun!

Ferb: 🚀🩹🗼🦄🐒🚿

Soos: Right on, little dudes!

Mabel: Heck yeah!

Dipper: Welcome to the summer break club.

Ferb: So how has the monster hunt been going?

Dipper: Nothing yet, but I know we’re getting close.

Soos: Did you dudes hear that?  It sounded like a roar.

Mabel: Was that your stomach?

Soos: Nah, my stomach normally sounds like whale noises.

Soos uploaded whalestomach.mp3

Mabel: Wow, so majestic!

Phineas: Impressive.  You should hear Ferb’s whale call.

Ferb uploaded whaleimpression.mp3

Dipper: Woah, that’s unreal!

Dipper: …and an opossum just stole our lantern.  Now we can’t see anything.

Phineas: Just use the flashlight on your phones.

Mabel: Pfft, of course!

Dipper: Occam’s Razor.

Soos: Look!

Dipper: It’s the Gobblewonker!  I can see it through the fog!

Mabel: Get that picture!

 

One Minute Later

 

Dipper: It wasn’t the Gobblewonker.

Mabel uploaded beavers.jpg

Phineas: Wait, what was that roar then?

Soos uploaded beaverwithachainsaw.jpg

Phineas: Huh, cool!

Anne has logged on

Anne: Hey, what’s the– How did a beaver get a chainsaw?

Phineas: Someone should take that away from the beaver before it hurts herself.  It definitely doesn’t have the proper licensing and permits to operate that.

Mabel: Permits?

Phineas: Well Ferb and I have many construction permits we always keep up to date.  It’s important.

Luz has logged on

Luz: Well Eda also made fun of me, but who’s laughing now?!

Luz: The map Adagast gave me had hidden text that only I could see!  Now I’m off to claim a wizard’s staff!

Luz: Then they’ll see I was right!  They’ll all see!

Anne: Luz, you sound like you’re entering your villain arc.

Luz: I’m sorry, but why can’t they see that this is what I was meant for?

Luz: Though…maybe I was a bit too hasty to leave.  Did I really make the right call?

Luz: I take it back.  Yes I did.

Ferb: That was fast.

Anne: What changed.

Luz: Hot witch prince in a town of cute small forest creatures.

Anne: Okay, that definitely sounds off.  

Mabel: It sounds like something out of a fantasy story.

Ferb: I have to concur.

Soos: I’ve worked at the Shack long enough to know a scam when I hear one, dude.

Dipper: You told us the Isles weren’t a PG fantasy world, and that sounds like a PG fantasy world.

Luz: But magic quest!

Mabel: Now I’m all for magic quests…but this does sound like something our Grunkle would pull on tourists.

Luz: …Okay, I get it.  I guess I’ll just alkjfrtq

Luz has logged off

Anne: Luz?

Phineas: Did something happen?

Dipper: I don’t like this gvbnjojdafd

Dipper: IT’S THE GOBBLEWONKER!  GET BACK TO THE BOAT!

Dipper has logged off

Mabel has logged off

Soos has logged off

Anne: Oh man, this isn’t good.

Phineas: I hope they’re okay.

 

---

 

“LET ME GO!” Luz shouted to Adagast.  

When she’d tried to leave, the cute forest town had quickly rotted away, and the critters and Prince Nevereth turned into puppets.  Apparently Adagast was a cephalopod demon called a Puppeteer.  

He quickly grabbed her and ran deeper into the woods until they reached a demon-made cave.  The Puppeteer threw her down and summoned magic ropes that bound her arms to her torso, and hands together.

“You may have figured out my scheme, but far too late to escape!” the Puppeteer cackled.

“Why are you doing this?!” she shouted.

“Your mentor has been stealing customers from my potions business for years.  She must be destroyed!” he explained.

“Does everybody have a beef with Eda here?” she asked.  The puppets still attached to his tentacles shrugged and murmured in the affirmative.  Luz groaned.

“And you lured her right into my trap, all because you wanted to be special!” he cackled.

…He was right.  This was all her fault, all because she believed she was some chosen one.  King had tried to warn her, but she was too wrapped up in her fantasy to listen.

“Mija, your fantasy world is holding you back.”  The words her mom had said after the meeting with Principal Hal ran through her head.

‘She was right.  I ignored what was right in front of me just to live some chosen one fantasy.’  Now either Eda would fall into a trap to rescue her, or she’d be smart about it and leave Luz.  ‘Wait, a trap!  Just like the Conformitorium!’ A plan was forming in Luz’s mind.  Maybe she could still fix this!

“Eda will never fall for that!  Now Adagast, I have just one thing to say to you!” she shouted.  “C-Could you come a little closer?”  He inched forward.  “N-No, just a little bit more… Just a liiittle bit more.”  The Puppeteer was now within arms length.  “Perfect.”

Suddenly, Luz stood and swung her bound hands into the Puppeteer’s face.  The cephalopod demon was flung back by her super strength.  He screamed, until he hit the cave wall where the force of the impact caused him to be squished flat.

“...Owwww.” he groaned, before falling to the ground.  Though before he even landed, his body shrank down until he was small enough to pick up in a cup.  At the same time, the magic rope binding her faded away.

‘Huh…well that was easy.’ she thought.  She’d intended to use Eda’s ploy against Wrath to get him in close so she could knock him away, then run away.  She didn’t expect to defeat him in a single blow.

From right outside the cave, Eda shouted, “Luz!  We’re here to–” She stopped as she took in the scene before her.   “Huh, nice work, kid.”  The Owl Lady turned to the shrunken Puppeteer and picked him up by his tentacles.  “Well that’s the last time I take an outside referral.”  She then ate him, swallowing him whole.  She saw Luz looking at her.  “Oh, did you want some?”

“No, I’m just confused.” Luz said, disappointed and kind of disgusted.

“Thinking of calling it quits?” Eda asked.

“This place isn’t like I imagined.” she admitted.  

“Hmm.  Maybe not here…” she began.  “Come with me.  I got something to show you.”

 

---

 

Dipper, Mabel, and Soos booked it as fast as their legs could carry them.  Despite the Gobblewonker being a lake monster, it was still surprisingly fast on land.

While running, Dipper tried to turn around and take a picture with one of the disposable cameras.  At the same time, Soos grabbed Mabel and put her on his back.  Dipper got the picture, only to immediately stumble over a root and drop the camera.

“NO!  The picture!” Dipper shouted.  He turned to go back for it, but Soos grabbed him by the back of his life jacket and continued booking it.

“Dude, if it makes you feel any better, I got a ton of pictures of those beavers, dude!” he said.

“Why would that make me feel better?!” he shouted back.

The Gobblewonker was basically on top of them at this point.  It lunged down, jaws opened wide and poised to swallow the trio whole.  Just before they were eaten, Soos dodged the chomp and was able to make it back to the S.S. Cool Dude.

“Let’s get out of here, dudes!” Soos shouted as he started up his boat.  

The Gobblewonker roared as they pulled away.  It dove into the water and began to chase them once more.  Now in its own environment, it was far quicker and more agile.  Even with the motor working overtime, the trio was just barely able to keep out of its reach.

“This is our chance!” Dipper yelled.  He took out a disposable camera. “Cracked lens?!”  

He threw it at the Gobblewonker to try and buy them some time, while Soos threw every other camera at them.  Instead of yelling at Soos to stop, Dipper took out his phone and snapped multiple photos.

“Yes!  I–” He began to cheer, but they were all blurry.  “OH, COME ON!”  

He aimed to take another photo again, but then the worst possible thing happened.  His battery ran dry.  Just as he was about to take the perfect shot, the screen went black.

“Typical.” he sighed.  “Mabel!  Soos!  Take a photo with your phone!”

“Sorry dude, but mine died while we were running!” Soos yelled.

“Mine too!” Mabel yelled.

The Gobblewonker lunged down and snapped its jaws at them.  Soos quickly picked up the cooler and slammed it across the monster’s nose.  A loud metallic thud sounded out, and the monster recoiled.  It bought them a few precious seconds.

They turned back to cheer, but the moment Soos took his eyes off the lake they rammed into the beaver dam.  The beavers fell onto the boat, and began biting the trio.  Soos screamed and began to run around, leaving the boat without a driver.  Thankfully, Mabel quickly stepped in.

They drove around the lake at top speed, trying to outmaneuver the Gobblewonker but to no avail.  All the while, fighting the beavers to get them off.  The last one that had latched onto Soos refused to budge, so the handyman had to abandon his lifevest and shirt to get rid of it.

Not even slamming through a pane of glass being transported across the lake did anything to slow it down.  All it did was make Dipper and Mabel question why someone was doing that in the first place.

Instead of endlessly running from the monster, Dipper turned to the Journal to seek an answer.  He flipped through its pages, looking for anything that could get them out of this mess!  Then he found just the thing.

“Quick, go through that waterfall!  I think there might be a cave behind it!” he ordered.

““Might” be?!” Mabel shouted back.  Though, they were out of options, so it was their best shot.

They all screamed as the falls got closer and didn’t stop until their boat passed under the water and made it inside the cave.  Though they were going too fast and thus didn’t have time to stop.  Instead, they ran aground and were flung out of the boat and onto the sand.

“We’re alive!” Mabel cheered.  Then the cave shook as the Gobblewonker tried to get in, but it was too big!  The lake monster had wedged itself in the entrance of the cave!  “It’s stuck!”

“Ha ha!  Yeah!” Dipper cheered.  He then quickly realized.  “Wait, if it’s stuck then this is the perfect time to get that photo!”  He went to grab a camera…but they were all gone.  “Wha– NO!”

“Boop.” Mabel said as she took off Dipper’s hat, reminding him of the final extra camera.

“Good going, Mabel!” he exclaimed.

They ran to higher ground for a better vantage.  Once there, Dipper began to snap pictures of the Gobblewonker, each one crystal clear!  It lunged up to snap at them, but all that did was allow him to get a close up shot.

“Did you get a good one?” Mabel asked.

“They’re all good ones!” Dipper replied, throwing his arms in the air.  

“WOO HOO!/HAMSTERBALL!” the siblings cheered as they embraced in triumph.

Just then, a stalactite fell from the ceiling and landed on the snout of the Gobblewonker.  A loud metallic ‘THUD’ echoed out across the cave, followed by the monster sparking and its head crashing to the ground.

“What the…?” Dipper spoke.  He climbed down and approached the monster.  He rapped a fist on the side, causing two more metallic thuds to sound out.

“What’s wrong?”  Mabel called down.  Instead of answering, Dipper began to scale the “monster”.

“Careful, dude!” Soos warned.

“I’ve got this!  Hold on!” he called out.  He reached the top of the monster and immediately spotted something out of place.  “Hey guys, come check this out!”

Mabel and Soos both followed Dipper up.  They both immediately saw what he was talking about.  There was a metal wheel attached to a hatch on top of the monster.  It only took a second of deliberation before Dipper reached over and opened it.

Steam billowed out of the hatch, but when it cleared…

“Uhhh, work them bellows in the…huh?!” The crazy old man from earlier looked up as he noticed the hatch had opened.  “Ahhh, banjo polish!”

“What… You?!” Dipper shouted in shock.  “You made this? Wha- Wha… Why?”

The old man stuttered, “W-Well, I-I… I uh… I just wanted attention.”

That didn’t clear things up, which Dipper vocalized.  “I still don’t understand.”

“Well, first I hootenannied up a bio-mechanical brian wave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick shift with my beard!” the old man explained, misinterpreting what Dipper had meant.

“Okay, yeah, but why did you do it?” Mabel clarified.

“Well, when you get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays any attention to you anymore.” he explained.  “My own son hasn’t visited me in months!  So I figured I’d catch his fancy with a fifteen-ton aquatic robot.”  He then laughed maniacally, though that quickly turned into a sad sigh.  “In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived.  You just don’t know the lengths us old-timers go through to for a little quality time with our family.”

Oh…ouch.  That hit Dipper and Mabel right where it hurt.  They both pulled out the hand stitched hats that had been made specifically for them.

They’d blown off Grunkle Stan all day.  He’d just wanted to spend time with them by introducing them to something he enjoyed.  And how had they responded?  They spent all day with Soos chasing after a lake monster for money; one that turned out to be fake in the end.  

“Dude.  I guess the lake monster is you two.  Heh heh.” Soos said.  He immediately regretted it.  “Sorry, it just, like, boom, just popped into my head there?”

Mabel turned back to the old man.  “So…did you ever talk to your son about how you felt?”

“No, sir, I got straight to work on the robot.” As he said this, another hatch opened and out popped a projector that began to display the blueprints for the Gobblewonker onto the hatch behind the old man.  

“I made lots of robots in my day.”  He pulled out a button and began to click through slides.  The image switched to a news article with a dinosaur breathing fire.  The headline simply read ‘CHAOS!’  “Like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron.”  The next image displayed some guy.  “Or when my pal Ernie didn’t come to my retirement party–” The slide changed again to show a massive robot shooting a laser out of one of its hands “–and I constructed an eighty-ton shame-bot that EXPLODED the entire downtown area!”  He once again laughed like a maniac.  

“Aha…well, time to get back to work on my death ray!” he said casually before sinking back into the robot’s cockpit.  They immediately heard the sounds of a jackhammer, saw, and a drill.  “Any of you kids got a screwdriver?”

Instead of answering, they just left.

“Well, so much for the photo contest.” Dipper said, disappointed.

“We still have one roll of film left.” Mabel pointed out.

“What do you want to do with it?” Dipper asked, though he already had a good idea.

 

---

 

Luz has logged on

Luz: I’m back, and I’m alright!

Luz: You guys were right, Adagast was scamming me.

Anne: Sorry about that.  I know how much you wanted to be a chosen one.

Luz: “Everyone wants to believe they’re chosen, but if we all waited around for a prophecy to make us special, we’d die waiting, and that’s why you need to choose yourself.”

Luz: That’s what Eda told me, and she’s right.  From here on out, I’m gonna choose myself!

Ferb: For what it’s worth, Luz, you’re special to us.

Phineas: Yeah.

Anne: 100%!

Luz: Aww, thanks guys.

Luz: Hey, where are Dipper, Mabel, and Soos?

Dipper has logged on

Dipper: And we’re back!  Sorry about that, our phones died.

Mabel has logged on

Soos has logged on

Mabel: But we’re back, baby!

Luz: So, did you get the picture?

Dipper: No.  The monster turned out to be a robot that old man made to try to get his son’s attention.

Mabel: Which made us feel bad about ditching Grunkle Stan, so we went and spent the rest of the day fishing with him.

Dipper: It was actually a lot of fun!  We used up the rest of our last film role.  We’re getting them developed tomorrow!

Phineas: I knew it sounded like fun.

Mabel: You were right!

Luz: OH!  Speaking of photos…

Luz uploaded slimy-stinky-gross-but-beautiful.png

Dipper: Is…that a corpse?

Luz: That’s the Boiling Isles.  The fallen corpse of a long dead Titan, from which life came into being.  According to Eda.

Soos: So you dudes live on a corpse.

Anne: And witches and demons came from the dead body…eww.

Mabel: But it does look beautiful.

Phineas: Indeed.

Ferb: 👍👍👍

Dipper: You know, you’re right.

Soos: It’s majestic!

Anne: I’ll admit, it does look pretty…for a child friendly hellscape on a carcass.

Luz: Hey so, I know the Gobblewonker was fake…but can’t you just submit any photos you took of it anyways?  I mean, most of those magazine photos are fake anyways.

Mabel: …

Dipper: …

Dipper: We’ll…get back to you on that.

Notes:

Soos is here!

So I'm already writing the next chapter, and while doing so I realized that Anne has no reason to not invite Sasha and Marcy. The only reason would be for story reasons. Now while I COULD write them in, I'm not sure how to write Sasha, even if I could have Grime take her phone away until after Prison Break. So I probably won't include them until Marcy At The Gates and Reunion.

But that means that by the time they enter, most of the fic will be over. So, any ideas on how to handle Reunion and Sasha's controlling behavior before her development would be appreciated. Otherwise, Anne will try to invite them but she'll keep getting interrupted.

Chapter 7: School's Out & School Break In

Chapter by Insecdroid

Summary:

The first day of summer arrives for Phineas and Ferb! It's time for 104 days of summer vacation before school comes along just to end it! Yet as they celebrate the end of school, Luz breaks into one.

Notes:

Thank you to everyone who left ideas on how to have Shasa and Marcy join the chat early. I know what I'm going to do now, and I'll be combining the two best ideas I got. You'll see the exact moment when writing I realized I could add them.

June 4th, 2020

 

Phineas: Ahh, the first day of summer.  Is there anything better?

Luz: According to Eda, fishing around in a dead trash slug for human realm junk.

Anne: And suddenly I’m glad I’m in school for another few days.

Luz: Speaking of which, apparently there are magic schools here!

Dipper: Makes sense.

Mabel: I WANT TO GO TO MAGIC SCHOOL!

Anne: Marcy would flip if I told her about this.

Luz: I feel like I’d like Marcy.

Anne: You would.

Luz: Hey!  Why don’t you invite her to the chat?!

Anne: Because… Okay, why is this the first time I’m thinking of that?

Anne: I’ll ask her and Sasha later.  For now, I gotta get to class.

Anne has logged off

Soos: So little dudes, what are you doing today?

Phineas: Not sure yet.  We’re waiting for inspiration to strike.

Luz: I mean you could just have a lazy day, like King!  He’s just relaxing on the beach.  He’s a little beach peach!

Phineas: No, no, no.  That’s boring, and boredom is something up with which I will not put.  The first thing they’re gonna ask us when we get back to school is what did we do over summer?  

Phineas: I mean, no school for three months, our life should be like a rollercoaster!  And I mean a good rollercoast!  Not like that one we rode at the state fair.

Dipper: How bad was it?

Phineas: It was a single bump only slightly taller than I.

Mabel: Why you talking all old timey?

Phineas: I…don’t know.

Phineas: Wait, Ferb!  I know what we’re gonna do today!  We’re gonna build our own roller coaster!

Luz: Fun!  Anywho, I’m gonna head back to the Owl House for now.  This whole garbage carcass thing is too gross for me.

 

---

 

Phineas uploaded coasterprogress1.jpg

Mabel: WHAT THE HECK?!

Soos: Dudes, it’s been, like, 11 minutes!

Dipper: How did you work that fast!  It’s already taller than your house!

Phineas: This is how fast we always build

Dipper: I… I… I’m gonna lie down.

Luz: Guess what– WHAT THE HECK?!

Mabel: I know, right?

Luz: Anyways, I found witch drama!

Luz: So I was heading back to the Owl House when I heard a mysterious voice of encouragement from the woods.  It was a witch girl my age!  Her name is Willow.

Luz: She was giving herself a pep talk, telling herself she had to pass a class.  She then stepped on a flower, but used magic to heal it!  

Luz: But then, this other witch girl came into the clearing, riding on top of a big pot!  The other girl – Amity is what Willow called her – started taunting Willow.  Specifically in that way that sounds helpful but is super patronizing!

Mabel: Booo!  That’s mean!

Luz: She then summons an “abomination”, a purple-pinkish slime monster with green eyes!  Magic is awesome!  She used it to patronize Willow more, since Willow’s own abomination was just goo.  Then she left.

Luz: But her parting words caused Willow to get pissed, and she summoned a bunch of super strong vines!  One of which grabbed me and dragged me over!

Phineas: Are you alright?

Luz: Yeah, the thorns only went through a few layers of skin.  Willow apologized, then realized I was human…well, half human.  I told her that her plant magic was great, but apparently she’s not supposed to be doing it.  She’s also supposed to be doing abomination magic, which she dislikes.

Luz: So now I’m sitting in her cauldron covered in abomination slime so she can pass her class, and I can see the Magic School!

Dipper: How much do abominations look like people?

Luz: They’re people shaped, vaguely.

Dipper: Willow’s teacher will never buy it.

Luz: I can be very convincing.

 

---

 

Ferb uploaded coasterprogress2.jpg

Soos: Cool robot arm, little dudes.  Where’d you get it?

Phineas: A factory when we went in to get more supplies.  We asked to borrow it, and they said yes.

Ferb: Now we can take a break as it lays down the track for us.

Dipper: Where are you guys anyway?

Phineas: Downtown.

Mabel: How big is this rollercoaster?!

Phineas: If it’s gonna be the coolest coaster ever, then it's also going to be the biggest!

Mabel: I wish I could ride it.

Phineas: Come later this summer, and we’ll do something just as fun!

Mabel: YEAH!

Luz has logged on

Luz: And you doubted my acting skills.  Willow got an A+.

Dipper: …How?  You know what, send us a picture so we can see how good or bad it is.

Luz has uploaded iwasateenageabomination.jpg

Soos: So…is the teacher, like, blind, or something?

Luz: …Okay yeah, now that I see it… How did he buy this?

Luz: Also, I met the president of the school’s Human Appreciation Society.  His name is Agustus, but he’s going by Gus now.

Dipper: Human Appreciation Society?

Luz: Yep!  The H.A.S.  Though their knowledge of human “artifacts” are as good as Eda’s.

Ferb: So poor to non-existent.

Luz: Gus thought braces were barbed wire nailed to human teeth.  I told him they were for storing snacks.

Mabel: They are!

Luz: Well, I’m off to lunch.

Luz: Good luck on the rollercoaster!

Phineas: It’s just about done!

 

---

 

Phineas uploaded rollercoastercomplete1.jpg

Ferb uploaded rollercoastercomplete2.jpg

Soos: Dudes, that’s nuts!

Dipper: Holy woah!

Mabel: This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen!

Phineas: Thank you!  We put the word out, so kids should be arriving soon.  We’re charging a super low price to ride it.

Anne has logged on

Anne: And I’m– WHAT THE HECK, DUDES?!  How did you build that in one morning?!

Ferb: Montage.

Dipper: You charge kids to ride what you make?  Smart.

Phineas: Only on the first day of summer.  Then we take that money and invest it to fund our inventions over the summer.  We built the coaster with what remained from last summer.

Anne: How well did you invest to be able to make this, and everything else you made last summer?

Ferb: Very well.

Dipper: We can tell.

Phineas: Well, people are starting to show up.  Talk to you when the ride’s over!

Ferb: 👋

Phineas has logged off

Ferb has logged off

Soos: So Anne, did you invite your friends yet?

Anne: I tried!  Then there was a last minute fire drill and I got interrupted.  I’ll try again at the end of the day.

Anne: Also Luz, I can’t imagine why you’d want to break into a school.

Luz: Again: MAGIC School.

Anne: I meant that you could have probably just walked in and asked for a tour.

Luz: …Well it doesn’t matter, as the day’s almost over.

Anne: Yeah, it is– Wait, are you on West Coast time now?

Luz: Huh…I think I am.  Apparently the Isles is West Coast time.

Luz: OH!  Gotta go.

Luz has logged off

Anne: Ugh, so do I.

Anne has logged off

 

---

 

As the final bell rang, Anne let out a sigh of relief.  Knowing her chat friends were already on summer break made the school day feel twice as long as it normally did, which already felt twice as long as it actually was!

“Hey, Anne!” she heard Sasha call out behind her.  She turned, and saw her two best friends approaching her.  “We just had the greatest idea for an end of year prank.”

“I don’t know, Sash.  Your last prank was kind of…”  She remembered the school’s halls being flooded with foam.  It took the school two weeks to fully clean it, and they all got sent to detention for a month.  “A lot.”

Sasha scoffed. “Don’t worry, Boonchuy.  This one will be different.”

Marcy chimed in.  “Picture it: K-Pop Puppy Dance Party!  I can hack into the PA and blast K-Pop while you and Sasha unleash a swarm of dogs into the halls!”

That…actually sounded kind of fun.  Still, Anne wasn’t entirely convinced.  “I’m still not sure.” she said.  

Then she got to thinking.  

Phineas and Ferb created a rollercoaster.  Dipper and Mabel had already fought an army of Gnomes and ran from a monster robot.  Luz broke into prison and a school, and fought a cephalopod demon.  Meanwhile, she’d just gone to school.  Nothing exciting had happened in her life recently.

“Actually, I’m in!” she declared

“All right, Anne!” Marcy cheered. 

“We’ll do it tomorrow right after first period.” Sasha informed her.  “Now let’s get out of here and do something fun!”

Anne then remembered how she wanted to invite her besties to the chat.  She went to do just that… “Oh, before I forget–”

But she was interrupted by the door to the classroom slamming open.  “Check this out!  Someone covered the entire eastern seaboard in tinfoil, and it was all just pulled off!” some kid shouted.

“What?” Anne asked with a chuckle.  She took out her phone and opened Mewtube.  The first result on trending was a helicopter’s recording of just that.  “Oh my God, that’s insane!”

“How did someone even do that?” Marcy questioned.  “It defies all logic!”

 

20 minutes Ago At… 

🎵Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated🎵

 

“–I will pull the East in a westerly direction, thereby reversing the rotation of the earth!” the “evil” Doctor Hienz Doofenshmirtz monologued to his trapped nemesis: Perry the Platypus. 

Perry looked at Doofenshmirtz in confusion.  What…what exactly was the purpose of this scheme.  How would this help him conquer the Tri-State Area?  Also how in O.W.C.A. did he manage to cover the entire eastern seaboard in tin foil without anyone noticing or stopping him?

Doofenshmirtz caught onto the stare his nemesis was giving him?  “What?” he asked, following Perry’s gaze.  “O-Oh, you’re wondering how I covered the eastern sea board with tinfoil.”  Doofenshmirtz walked over to another inator.  “Why with my Tin Foil-inator of cour–” As he spoke, he patted the side of the inator, only to hit the self-destruct button.  It exploded in his face, leaving the Evil Scientist covered in soot.  “Typical.”

 

---

 

Luz has logged on

Luz: Okay, crazy ending to my day!

Phineas has logged on

Ferb has logged on

Ferb: The same could be said for us.

Luz: By all means, you go first.

Phineas: So halfway through the rollercoaster ride, a giant magnet attaches to it and lifts the coaster into the air.

Dipper: Wait, you mean the car of the coaster, right?

Phineas: No.

Mabel: …HOW?!

Phineas: What do you mean?  A helicopter had a giant magnet which stuck to the coaster and lifted it up and away.

Luz: That should not be physically possible.

Phineas: It is in Danville.  Anyways, we get thrown from the track and are free riding through the streets.  Then we roll into a construction sight, get hooked onto a crane which spins and launches us into the air.  While up there, we get snagged by a passing plane.

Phineas: After a minute we’re dislodged and fall down onto the Statue of Liberty’s torch, which then flings us to Mount Rushmore where the car loops through glasses of Theodore Rosevelt.  It continuously picks up speed until we launch out!

Phineas: Then we land on a tree which bends all the way down, before it launches us to an Eiffel Tower replica built here in Danville.  Then we get flung into space, where we see a satellite.  (By the way, if that thing ever crashes to earth, Candace is in charge.)  Then we crashed back down in our backyard.

Soos: …Dudes.

Dipper: Are you guys hurt?!

Phineas: No, we’re perfectly fine.

Phineas: Oh right!  I almost forgot to invite our friend!

Isabella Garcia-Shapiro has joined the chat

Isabella: Hey Phineas.  Is this that chat that you were talking about?

Phineas: Yeah, pretty cool, isn’t it?

Isabella: Anything you make is cool.

Phineas: We didn’t make this, we were just invited.

Isabella: Oh.

Dipper: Okay, well what happened at the magic school?

Luz: So that Amity girl caught onto how I wasn’t actually an abomination after she saw me eat a PB&J.

Mabel: Shocker.

Luz: So she got dragged off by the abominations teacher.  Then at the end of the day, she came in with the principal, who tried to have Willow DISSECT me so he could see how she made her abomination.

Isabella: What?!

Dipper: Of course he did.

Anne has logged on

Anne: Sup everyone.  Oh, a new person.  Welcome to the chat.

Anne: …I knew teachers were the enemy of all that is good.

Isabella: Why are you acting like this is normal?  …Is it?

Luz: Kind of, but I later found out from Willow and Gus that he was bluffing.  The blade of the knife he handed Willow was an illusion.  He knew I wasn’t an abomination and he was trying to get Willow to confess.

Luz: Though at the time, we didn’t know that.  So Gus knocked over all the other abomination pots in the room, then Willow and I ran.  Unfortunately, Principal Bump put the school on lockdown and trapped us inside with barriers.

Soos: Smart move.  Bad luck for you dudes though.

Luz: Yeah, but all was not lost  FOR YOU SEE, Eda had given me a greasy slime ball from the garbage carcass.  One that in our time of need, turned out to be a seed!  Willow used it to grow a massive tree that broke through the barriers, allowing us to escape.

Luz: But just before we were free, Amity blocked our path.  So Willow sacrificed herself so I could run for help!

Luz: I ran to get Eda, but just as I arrived and tried to explain, Willow and Gus appeared!  Willow’s display of plant magic had impressed Bump so much that she got switched to the plant track!

Mabel: Yay!

Soos: Awesome!

Anne: Good for her!

Luz: Unfortunately for me…I’ve been banned.  Eda was happy though.  She called my Banned poster “baby’s first wanted poster”.  And that was the end of my day.

Phineas: Wow, that was really captivating.

Luz: Thanks!  My dream is to be a writer.  Well, besides being a witch, but I thought that was impossible until two days ago.

Mabel: I’d read your book!

Dipper: Me too!

Isabella: Me three!

Luz: If I ever write one, you’ll all be my beta readers.

Soos: So Anne, you invite those friends of yours?

Anne: GAH!  I meant to, but then someone showed the news story of the eastern sea board being covered in tin foil and I forgot!

Luz: Wait, what?!

Isabella: Oh yeah, the ball it turned into rolled through downtown.  No one got seriously injured though.

Mabel: Well, that’s a relief.

 

In Danville…

 

“CURSE…YOU…PERRY…THE..PLATY…PUS!” Doofenshmirtz yelled as he was continuously run over by the giant tin foil ball of his own creation.

Notes:

And Isabella joins the chat!

Yeah, Sasha and Marcy aren't here JUST yet. They'll arrive on Anne's Birthday. Though before that, there's one more chapter that has to be completed.

Next time: The Owl Beast

Chapter 8: The Owl Beast

Chapter by Insecdroid

Summary:

While Phineas & Ferb Celebrate Candace's Birthday, and Anne, Sasha, & Marcy throw their K-pop Puppy Dance Party, King teaches Luz and the residents from Gravity Falls about demons during a Boiling Rainstorm. Though they are unaware that they will soon have to deal with a demon, one that has been closer to them than they thought.

June 5th, 2020

 

Phineas: It’s our sister’s birthday!

Isabella: Oh yeah, it is.  Tell Candace I said Happy Birthday.

Ferb: Will do.

Anne: I don’t know her, but give her my wishes as well.

Luz: Isn’t your birthday tomorrow, Anne?

Anne: Yep!  I’ll finally be a teen!

Luz: One of us– Wait, I just remembered I’m the only teen in here at the moment.

Mabel: Me and Dipper will be teens at the end of August!  We’re gonna have a massive end of summer/birthday party!

Dipper: Yeah!  It’s gonna be awesome!

Phineas: I’ll be 11 later in the summer, and Ferb will be 11 in the fall.

Isabella: Same here.  My birthday is also towards the end of summer.

Mabel: When’s your birthday, Soos?

Soos: …I don’t want to talk about it.

Mabel: Oh…okay.

Phineas: We got to make Candace’s birthday perfect!  Unlike last year.

Ferb: Perhaps a gorilla in a cake wasn’t the best idea.

Anne: That sounds like a horrible idea.

Phineas: …Yeah, it was.  But this year I know just what we’re gonna do!  And it starts at Mount Rushmore!

Luz: Guys, you live on the East Coast.  You’re not getting to Mount Rushmore today.

Phineas: We’re already almost there.

Dipper: Oh, did you leave last night?

Phineas: No, it was this morning after breakfast.

Anne: How long have you been in the car?

Phineas: About two hours.  Why?

Soos: Dudes, is your car, like, a super rocket car from the future?

Phineas: No, it’s just the family station wagon.

Isabella: What’s the big deal?

Mabel: Are you sure Danville is on the East Coast?

Isabella: Sometimes.

Dipper: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOMETIMES?!

Mabel: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOMETIMES?!

Soos: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOMETIMES?!

Anne: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOMETIMES?!

Luz: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOMETIMES?!

Phineas: That’s just Danville for you.  Sometimes it’s in New York, and most of the time it’s in Utah.

Luz: How is your town weirder than the Boiling Isles?

Dipper: Do you even have physics?

Ferb: Most of the time.

Mabel: Dipper is screaming into a pillow right now.

Anne: …Well speaking of changing topics: I’m off to school!  Sasha and Marcy came up with an amazing end of year prank!

Luz: Ooooh!  What is it?

Anne: K-pop Puppy Dance Party!

Mabel: I WANT TO GO!

Luz: That sounds fun!

Anne: It will be. Later, dudes!

Anne has logged off

 

---

 

Luz uploaded kingdocumentry.vid

Mabel: Yeah, get that ducky sock you little tyrant!

Isabella: Aww, he’s so cute!

Soos: I would protect him with my life.

Luz: Well, he wants to teach me about Demons.  So I’ll be doing that for a while.  Bye!

Luz has logged off

Phineas: And we have arrived at Mount Rushmore.

Ferb: 🗿🗿🗿🗿

Dipper: So what’s your plan anyways?

Phineas: We’re gonna carve Candace’s face onto the side of the mountain with the others.

Dipper: I don’t think you’re allowed to do that.

Ferb: We have the permits

Ferb uploaded permitsforrushmore.jpg

Dipper: …Huh.  Okay then, I guess you can.

Isabella: Do you need any help?

Phineas: Oh, you’re here!  Great!

Mabel: You went all the way to Mount Rushmore to help?

Isabella: Of course.

Mabel: …EEEEEEE!!!

Dipper: Mabel, no!

Mabel: MABEL YES!

Mabel has been muted by the powers that be for 10 minutes

 

---

 

Unknown has created a private chat

Unknown: Mabel, no.  You can’t just out someone’s crush like that.

Mabel: But they’d be so cute together.

Unknown: Yes they would, but you can’t just tell someone that someone else has a crush on them.  The person crushing has to be the one to tell the other…or they can hope their crush returns their affection and confesses first.

Mabel: Okay, I understand.

Unknown: Good.  Also, please let the others know when you return that you guys have always been able to make private group chats.

Mabel: Oh so that’s what that icon is for.

 

---

 

Mabel: Mabel is back!

Mabel: BTW, Unknown wanted to let you know that we can all make private chats.

Soos: Oh, so that’s what that button is for.

Mabel: That’s what I said!

Phineas: So why did he mute you anyways?

Mabel: I plead the 5th.

Luz has logged on

Luz: Well, the rain boils.  Hence why it's called the Boiling Isles.

Isabella: Are you okay?

Luz: Yeah, I only got a small burn.  Though it itches a lot.  But now me and King are boo-boo buddies!  I love him so much!

Dipper: Well good thing your only plans were for King to teach you demonology.

Luz: Yeah…about that.

Isabella: What happened?

Luz: I bribed Eda with a shiny pen to teach me magic, but then she passed out from exhaustion.

Mabel: You bribed her with a shiny pen?

Soos: Shiny things are great!

Luz: Yeah, she gets transfixed by them.  Anyways, now I’m trying to master this spell…even though Eda admitted she didn't know how a human could do magic.  Apparently magic comes from the heart–as in a bile sack attached to a witch’s heart.  I don’t have that…I think.

Dipper: Oh, can demons have a bile sac?

Luz: Yeah!  Though it’s only Biped demons.

Dipper: Biped demons?

Luz: …Hold on

 

Luz looked up from her phone and turned to King, who looked disappointed.  Oof, she felt bad about ignoring him.  She didn’t want to do what Dipper and Mabel had done to Stan.  Luckily, she just had an idea that she knew would make him happy.

“Hey King!  Want to teach demonology to my friends too?  They're super interested!” she asked.

“Weh?!” King exclaimed.  “I mean– Of course, more humans wish to learn from the King of Demons!  I will allow it.  They will have the honor to learn from the greatest demon ever to live!”

 

Luz would like to video chat

Dipper has accepted

Mabel has accepted

Soos has accepted

Phineas: We can’t right now.  But we’d love to learn later.

Ferb: It’s odd it took anyone this long to use the video chat function.

 

As the humans from Gravity Falls came on the call, the first thing they heard was King squealing in excitement.  Though as soon as he noticed them, he cleared his throat.  “Ahem.  All right humans!  There are three types of demons: Biped, Bug, and Beasts.  Today we will be going over the different types and discussing some of the most notable demons on the Isles.  First lesson…”

 

---

 

Meanwhile In LA

 

It was just an average morning at St. James Middle School.  First period had just ended, and kids were out in the halls, grabbing what they needed for their lockers.  The PA crackled to life, over which the principal’s voice could be heard.

“Attention, students.  This is yet another reminder that the pink powder in the soap dispensers is not candy dust.  So please–”  The PA was abruptly cut off.

“What’s up SJMS?” Sasha’s voice blared through the school’s halls.  “Instead of all that boring stuff, how about an awesome K-pop dance party?”

The lights in the halls shut off, then K-pop began to blare through the speakers as strobe lights on the ceiling activated.  The student body cheered, and began to dance to the music.

In the janitor’s supply closet, Anne and Marcy knelt down around a dozen carrying crates, each one holding a dog.  A thirteenth dog – a pitbull puppy – was perched atop Marcy’s head.

“Hey, do you really think we should be doing this?” Anne asked, though she had a massive grin on her face.

“Of course!” Marcy affirmed.  She raised her arms up and shouted, “Unleash the puppers!”

They opened the latches on the crates and opened the door.  Twelve dogs ran out from the supply closet and down the halls.  The cheers from the student body got even louder.

Anne and Marcy casually followed behind.  They quickly found Sasha who was waiting for them just down the hall.  The trio began to dance to the K-Pop, with Marcy now holding the pit bull pupper in her hands.  

They reveled in what they had done, never wanting the moment to end.  Unfortunately, it didn’t last that long.

The lights flicked on and the music came to a sudden stop.  Standing next to them was the principal, Mrs. Murphy.  “Waybright. Wu. Boonchuy.  My office. Now.” she demanded.

 

3 Minutes Later…

 

Anne sat next to Marcy in the waiting chairs just outside the Principal's Office.  Sasha had been the first to be called in, and the two other girls now nervously awaited their turn.  So it was to their great surprise to see Sasha casually walk out of the office, whistling a jaunty tune.

“All yours, Marce.” Sasha said.

Marcy got up, and gave a quick wave to her two best friends before entering the office and shutting the door behind her.

“Was it bad?” Anne asked nervously.

Sasha raised a hand, waving it off.  “Nah.  Mrs. Murphy just said she wished my leadership skills went towards something positive.”

After another two minutes, Marcy walked out of the office.  She gave a slight shrug.  “She was impressed with how I hacked the PA system, and told me not to do it again.”  Anne let out a sigh of relief.  This wasn’t going to be bad at all!  “You’re up next, Anne.”

“Told ya!  Nothing to worry about.” Sasha added.

“Heck yeah!” Anne exclaimed as she stood up. “See you on the other side!”  With those parting words, she walked into the office.  She took a seat across from the principal, and proceeded to give her the finger guns.  “‘Sup, dude?”

Mrs. Murphy was not amused.  ““‘Sup” is that I’m worried about you, Boonchuy.”

“Oh?  Like me specifically? Or–” she began to ask, but she was cut off.

“Yep.” she confirmed.  “Sasha’s gonna boss her way through life.  And Marcy will probably solve world hunger, or something.  But you…”  She took out Anne’s permanent record and plopped it down on her desk.  “Incomplete after incomplete.  Unfinished paper after unfinished paper.  You’re a smart girl, Anne, but you’re just not applying yourself.  In you, I see someone who is just floating through life, taking the easy path.”

“But I like the easy path.  It’s easy!” Anne exclaimed.  She didn’t get what the big deal was.  

“It may be easy, but that doesn’t make it right.” Mrs. Murphy informed her.  She leaned back in her chair, and took on a more authoritative tone.  “Now be straight with me.  Those two pushed you into this prank, didn’t they?”

“What? No!” she responded.  They hadn’t, not this time at least.  She’d wanted to do something exciting, because that’s what all her friends were doing…oh wait.  “Well, maybe.  But not like that!”

Mrs. Murphy sighed.  “Look, I want you to write an essay for me–”

“Say what now?” she deadpanned.

“–about what you want to do with your life.  And what you’re willing to do to make it happen.” she finished.

“Wha–?  Sasha and Marcy didn’t say anything about an essay.” she said.

Mrs. Murphy pulled out a sheet of paper and handed it to Anne.  “That’s because they don’t have to write one.”

“Oh. Ouch.” she replied.  This was totally unfair!

“Anne, you get to choose the type of person you’re going to be.  Don’t forget that.” Mrs. Murphy encouraged.  Anne sadly stood up and walked over to the office door.  She opened it and was about to leave, when Mrs. Murphy stopped her.  “Oh, hey!  Isn’t it your birthday tomorrow?  Happy early birthday, Anne.”  Anne gave the Principal a small smile, then walked away.  

‘The type of person I want to be…’  She thought about her friends in the chat.  Phineas and Ferb were geniuses.  Dipper was bright, Mabel was creative, and Soos seemed to be doing well.  Then there was Luz, who was following her lifelong dream while also grappling with her new identity.  They were all great…but she was just Anne.  ‘Who DO I want to be?’

 

---

 

“And that concludes our talk on House Demons.” King said.  He turned to the bird tube next to him.  “Thank you Hooty.”

“HOOT!” Hooty screeched before retracting into the door.

“I have questions about him.” Dipper said.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.” King replied in a horrified tone.  “And now for our final topic of the day: Open questions!”

“OOH!  Do demons know how to swim ?” Soos asked.

“Only the ones that live in the Boiling Sea or go to swim classes.  Most of us don’t need to since…well, the sea boils.” King answered.  “Next!”

“What type of demon would the Puppeteer be?” Dipper asked.

“They’re a high intelligence Bug Demon.” King clarified.  “Now you, girl with the metal mouth!”

“You’re so cute!  Can I make you a sweater?!” Mabel asked.

“YES!  Make me an offering worthy of my status!” he giggled.  “Now what about you, Luz.  Do you have any questions for me?”

“Well, there is one.” she said.  “Do you know what type of demon I am?”

“Weh?  Oh, you’re probably a Biped/Human hybrid with your demon side bestowed by an Eld Demon.”

““Eld Demon?”  What’s an Eld Demon?” she asked.

“Eld Demons were the first to emerge from the Titan.  They were incredibly powerful, but most of them have become extinct over the years.  Some like Dragons still exist though.”

“I could be part dragon?!” Luz squealed.

“No, otherwise you would grow scales and be just as attracted to shiny things as Eda is.” King clarified.  “We don’t know all the Eld Demons that exist, but they were all capable of making more demons on their own, or with others.  All demons today came from the Eld Demons.”

“Can you give me some examples of Eld Demons?” Dipper asked.

“Okay!  Well, the last race of Eld Demons to go extinct were the Basilisks.  Snakeshifters that drained magic to feed.  Then there were the Behemoths, four legged beasts wielding the destructive might of nature.  Then there were the…H-Herons.”

“Herons?  Dude, we have those and they’re, like, three feet tall.” Soos said.

“Not human realm Herons!” King shouted.  “These were basically feathery dragons that stood hundreds of feet tall!  They fought with the dragons for years, until they were driven from the Isles.  Though…there are rumors that they weren’t driven away, but TAKEN!”  King then shrugged.  “But either way, they’re gone and we will never have to deal with one.”

“Are Human Realm Herons descended from Demon Realm Herons?” Dipper asked.

“Nope!” King said.  “Though Giraffes are thought to be descended from Herons, because of their freakishly long necks.  That’s why we banished them!  Also because they were freaks.”

“The more I hear about the Boiling Isles, the less I understand.” Dipper groaned.

Just as he said that, all the lights went out.

“Weh?!” both Luz and King exclaimed.  Something Dipper took note of.  It was a very odd and specific vocal tic.

“What just happened?” Mabel asked.

“Ugh, Hooty controls the power.  He probably just fell asleep.” King explained.  

Then from the other room, they heard a loud and panicked, “HOOT!”

“Hooty?!” Luz called out in a panic.  “Sorry, but we gotta cut this lesson off here!”

“Stay safe, dudes!” Soos shouted, then Luz ended the call.

Luz and King ran into the room, only to see the silhouette of a massive demon standing over Hooty.  It had torn the door from the hinges and knocked him to the ground. In the darkness, it stared back at them with large round unblinking black eyes that reflected the minimal light.

“King…back away slowly.” Luz said as she did just that.

“What about Eda?” he whisper-yelled back.  “We can’t leave her!”

Luz pondered their options for a moment, but in that time the beast lunged for them.  Luz instinctively wrapped herself around King to protect him.  The little demon let out a terrified “Weh.”

Though instead of feeling teeth biting into her or claws rending her flesh, Luz felt herself be picked up by her hood.  She carefully looked up, only for her eyes to widen in surprise as she saw the face of the creature.

“Wait– …Eda?” she asked.

Eda(?) didn’t respond to her at all.  Instead, she began to carry Luz (who was still holding onto King) through the house.  She walked up the stairs and pushed through the door to Eda’s room, then set the two down in her nest.

“Luz, what’s going– OOF!” King tried to ask, but before he could, Eda(?) climbed into the nest and laid down on top of them.  She then began to let out a low rumble that was oddly soothing.

“...King, I think she thinks we’re her chicks.” Luz questioned.  The monster was clearly avian, having two massive wings folded up to her side, her body was covered in feathers, and her feet were bird talons.

“Hey, look at this.” King said.  He reached out of the nest and grabbed a tag.  “A potion a day keeps the curse at bay?”  King’s eyes widened.  “That’s it!  Every day I see Eda taking a potion!  That must keep her from turning into this thing!”

“Eda’s cursed?” Luz asked rhetorically.

“Apparently.” King replied.  “Any idea on how to get Eda back?”  As he asked, the creature leaned down and began to lick King like a mother cat.  “Eww, gross!”

“We could ask?” Luz suggested.  She turned to the avian creature.  “Hello there!  Could we please have Eda back?”  The creature shook its–her head.  Well, at least they knew now that the beast had some sentience.  “You have any ideas, King?  You are the demon expert.”

King studied the creature for a moment.  “Hmmm, her eyes!  Demons with black eyes get startled by bright light!  Luz, use your human scroll!”

Luz opened her phone and turned the flashlight on.  She shined it into the creature’s eyes, but all it did was annoy her.  She scooched up, smothering Luz and King under her down completely.  While Luz could probably lift the creature rather easily, she didn’t want to risk upsetting her further.

“Well that didn’t work.” King grumbled.  He then leaned back into the beast.  “I guess we’re stuck here.  At least it's cozy.”

“King, we can’t just leave Eda like this.” Luz said.  “Ugh!  If only I could do the light spell!”

“Well…if you’re part Biped demon, you may have a bile sack.”  King pointed out.

“I tried already.”  All that had happened was that her finger felt tingly, but that had to have just her imagination.  No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t cast anything.  “Come one, what would you do, Eda?”  As she asked this, she opened the video she’d recorded of Eda teaching her how to do a light spell.

“Smile. You’re on camera.  One more spell won’t kill you.” Luz’s own voice spoke as the camera panned up to reveal Eda.

“Fine.”  Eda groaned in annoyance.  She began to cast the light spell, lazily drawing a circle in the air in front of her.  “Now, you see, the spell circle is really key because…” Eda trailed off and let out a yawn just as she finished the circle.  “Oh boy.” she exclaimed before collapsing to the ground.

“Well, looks like one more spell killed Eda.” King said.  Luz’s own shriek could be heard before the video ended.

She replayed the video again, watching Eda form the shaky spell circle.  She unconsciously began to rotate her wrist while pointing with her index finger.  After it played for the fourth time, King spoke up.

“Uhh, Luz.  I don’t think you’re going to find anything new–” but he cut himself off as he saw a spark fly off of Luz’s twirling finger.

Luz was hypnotized by the recording.  Everything else around her became drowned out as she hyper focused on only the video.  Even the words faded out, as she just stared into the spell circle.  She watched it, again and again, a gut feeling telling her to focus.

Finally, on the seventh play, she spotted something in the circle, causing her eyes to widen.  It was a pattern that looked like an arrow with a teardrop tip pierced through a triangle, all encompassed in a circle.

She gasped.  “There’s a pattern in the spell circle!” she exclaimed.

“What? Where?” King asked.

“Here.” She pulled out a pen and paper she had left over from King’s lesson.  “It looks like…this!” 

As she finished the sketch, she tapped it.  The glyph glowed with golden light as paper crumpled up and imploded in on itself, leaving a small orb of light hovering in front of Luz and King. 

 “Oh my gosh… I just did magic. I JUST DID MAGIC!” she cheered.  The beast above them let out an avian shriek, obviously telling her to quiet down.  “Sorry.” she whispered.

“Well that’s not gonna help us unless we can get out from under here.” King pointed out.  “Hmmm, I have an idea.”  King then leaned over and whispered his plan into Luz’s ear.

“Oh, that’s good.” she said.  “Okay, let’s do this!”

Above them, the Owl Beast was trying to fall to sleep, when she felt her chicks begin to stir under her.  She cracked open an eye, only to become transfixed as a small orb of light hovered in front of her.

With her distracted, Luz and King were able to carefully climb out of the nest.  “That’s it.  Keep your eyes on the pretty light.” Luz spoke softly.

King grabbed a hold of the light and began to slowly back out of the room, causing the beast to follow.  He turned right, and Luz turned left.  

While the young demon kept the creature’s attention, Luz drew a massive light glyph on the opposing wall.  When King saw it was done, he began to maneuver around to the beast’s other side, who turned to follow the light with her gaze

“Luz, now!” King shouted.

King’s shouting caused the owl beast to snap out of her stupor.  She realized they were out of the nest, standing in her headmate’s hall.  ‘Not safe.  Get chicks back to nest–’

Her thoughts were cut off as Luz slammed her hands against the light glyph.  A massive flash of light engulfed the hall, and the air was filled with the sound of the beast’s roar and a scream.

“Weh?!  LUZ!” King shouted.  The half-human had collapsed to her knees and was rubbing her eyes.  “Are you alright?!”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” she groaned.  “I just forgot that my eyes are now extra sensitive to light.”  She finally opened them, and everything was a bit blurry.  But she was still able to make out the creature’s still form.  She got up, and lifted her up.  “Come on, let’s get Eda her potion.”

“Yeah!” King cheered.

 

---

 

Around a half hour later, Eda groggily awoke with a pounding headache and a familiar taste in her mouth, as well as a foreign object.  She reached up and found that it was a straw coming out from one of her elixirs.

She felt the side of her face, and yelped as she found it was still half Owl Beast.  She quickly slurped down the rest of the elixir, fully changing back to normal. 

“What happened?” she asked aloud.  “Ugh, I have the worst headache.  And my mouth tastes like…” she pulled out a clump of black fur.  “Gross.”  She looked down and found the remainder of the elixir.  “Hmm, I was looking for that.

“Actually, we found an extra one in your closet, since the first one broke.” King explained.

“King?” Eda asked.  Then it dawned on her.  She’d turned into the Owl Beast, and obviously King had found out.  Which meant that it had gone after him!  “King!  Are you alright?!”

He waved it off.  “I’m fine.  The beast thought we were her chicks and just smothered us under her.”

‘Chicks need protection.  You do poor job.’ the Owl Beast criticized in her head.  Well that was new information.  Also it was offensive.  ‘Chick saved herself from Puppeteer.  Chick saved us from Wrath.’

Oh…dang, the Owl Beast was right.  That didn’t feel good.  Though speaking of “chick”...

“Where’s Luz?” Eda asked.

King pointed to the corner of the room.  Eda followed his finger, and her eyes widened in awe.  There sat her apprentice, surrounded by light spells.  She picked up a piece of paper, sketched some design on it, then tapped it and created light.

“Wow.  How is she doing that?” Eda asked in awe.

“I don’t know, but she did it all on her own.” the little demon informed her.

It was then Luz realized that Eda had awoken.  “Eda, you’re awake!” she exclaimed.  As she stood and walked over, the lights followed her.

Eda grinned.  “You continue to surprise me, kid.” she admitted.  “Well, I guess I owe you two an explanation.”  Oh this wasn’t going to be fun.  “The truth is that when I was around your age Luz, I was cursed.  I don’t know exactly how it happened.  All I know is that if I don’t take my elixir I turn into the Owl beast.  That's why people call me the Owl Lady.  No one likes having a curse, but if you take the right steps, it’s manageable.”

“Woah.  So are you okay?” Luz asked.

Eda waved her off.  “There’s nothing for you to worry about.  It’s all under control.  And as long as I actually manage to take my elixir, I’m fine.”  She saw that Luz and King were still worried for her, so she decided to switch topics.  “But hey, look at this.  A human– Err, half-human doing magic.  Good on you, kid.”

“And all without her bile sack.” King said casually.

“Weh?/What?” was the response he got.

“King, I don’t have a bile sack, remember?” Luz reminded him.  King was genuinely surprised at Luz’s response.  

“You didn’t see?  Back under the Owl Beast while you were repeatedly watching Eda’s lesson, you were twirling your finger–” As he spoke, he mimed the action.  “–then sparks came out of your finger!”

“Really?!” Luz exclaimed.  

She stretched out her arm, and focused on casting a light spell.  The tingling in her finger returned, but stronger.  It kept getting more intense until she struggled to keep her arm from shaking.  But King was right, as black, purple, and golden sparks shot out of the tip of her finger.  

Eda grabbed hold of her arm to help her keep it steady. “Concentrate.  Think of what you want and…”

Luz followed through, and successfully created a spell circle.  In its center, the light glyph appeared for a split second before the spell was complete.  An orb of light formed in front of Luz, who now had a massive grin on her face.

Eda smiled. “Huh.  Well how about that?”

“This. Is. AWESOME!” Luz cheered.  She drew another, and another, and another, and– Oh wow, she just got light headed.  She needed to sit down.

“Woah, pace yourself.  Unless you also want to pass out.” Eda lightly chided.

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t help myself.  I can do magic!  WOO HOO!” Luz cheered.  “Oh I have to tell everyone!” She then paused, thinking something over.  “Actually, I’d like to add you both to the group chat.”

“That thing you’re always on?” Eda asked.  She shrugged.  “Sure, why not?”

Luz pulled out her phone and opened the chat.  She clicked on the ‘send invite’ button and added Eda and King.  While Eda took out her scroll to accept the invite, a projection appeared in front of King with ‘Accept’ and ‘Refuse’ as the two options.

King giggled, and pressed ‘Accept” with both hands.  Unknown had said that if someone didn’t have a phone or scroll, one would appear.  Yet it still surprised her as a small portal opened up and dropped a scroll into King’s claws.

 

---

 

Mabel: So…you carved Candace’s face into Mount Rushmore, but it disappeared and Mount Rushmore went back to normal.

Phineas: Yeah, pretty much.

Dipper: How does an entire face on Mount Rushmore just disappear?

Phineas: I don’t know, but that’s what happened.

Anne: Honestly, that’s probably for the best.  I get the sentiment, but altering a national monument feels wrong.

Dipper: I still don’t know how you got permits to alter it.

Phineas: Okay, that’s fair.

Ferb: We’ll take that under consideration for next year.

Soos: Yeah, little dudes.  Especially since the statues of the presidents are actually robots.

Anne: Soos, that’s a conspiracy theory.  Just like how Santa Clause is the secret true President of the United States.

Soos: Those are only conspiracy theories as far as we know…

Luz has logged on

Edalyn Clawthorne has been added

King Clawthorne has been added

Luz: I’m back!

King: Yes!  More people to worship me!

Eda: So this is why you’re on your human scroll all the time.

Anne: Oh cool, you finally added your mentor.  ‘Sup.

Eda: I see my reputation precedes me.  It is true.  I am Eda the Owl Lady, the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles!

Mabel: Awesome!

King: And I am the mighty King of Demons!  Bow before me!

Soos: We are not worthy, oh mighty King!

King: Yes! Yes!  More of this!

Dipper: So what happened?  You left after the power went out.

Luz: Oh…nothing much.

Eda: I appreciate it kid, but it’s unnecessary.  I’ll tell you what I told Luz and King, but only because Luz seems to trust you, and she said you were the ones that talked her into doubting Adagast.

Eda: When I was Luz’s age, I was cursed.  If I don’t drink my elixir, I turn into an Owl Beast.  And this time when I did, the Owl Beast decided that Luz and King were its chicks, and took them to my nest.

Dipper: Wait!  Luz, didn’t you say something of a monster appearing near the old shack where the portal connects to?

Eda: Oh yeah, that’s my bad.  I’ve accidentally turned in the human realm a few times, but luckily the Owl Beast never hurt anyone.

Luz: Huh, neat.  Now I’ve discovered where a local legend came from.

Luz: OH RIGHT!  Look what I discovered!

Luz uploaded lightglyph.vid

Mabel: OH MY GOD YOU CAN DO MAGIC!

Eda: Not just that, but I’ve never seen magic done like this.  But I’m pretty sure this is how witches used to do magic before we developed our bile sacks.

Anne: Way to go, girl!

Dipper: Amazing!  You discovered a lost school of magic!

Soos: Awesome job, dude.

Ferb: Astounding work.

Phineas: I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Isabella: You rock.

King: So Luz is crying now.

Luz: I AM NOT!

Luz: My eyes are just sweating.

Eda: Sure thing, kid.

Luz: Thanks everyone.  It really mean a lot.

Luz: OH!  I also found out that I actually do have a bile sack!  Though for some reason I think it only works with the glyphs, as I can’t do anything other than a light spell.

Dipper: I’ll write that down.

Eda: Why?

Dipper: Luz asked King what type of Demon she was, so I’m keeping an entry in the Journal so we can figure it out.

Luz: Thanks Dipper.  You’re awesome.

Mabel: Aww, now Dipper is sweating from his eyes.

Dipper: MABEL!

Luz: Oh hey, did you get your photos back?

Mabel: Yeah we did!  Check them out.

Mabel uploaded 24 photos

Dipper: This one’s my favorite.

Dipper uploaded familyfishingtrip.jpg

Phineas: I’m glad you both did this.  You look like your having so much fun

Mabel: We did.  We got that specific photo framed.

Eda: Huh…that guy looks familiar.  Though I can’t quite place why.

Eda: Oh, you also ran from the cops?  Nice going!

Mabel: They’ll never take us alive!

Dipper: Settle down there, Mabel.

Luz: Did you send in the Gobblewonker photos?

Dipper: We did.  Now we just wait for next month.

Mabel: I can already taste the plastic of my life size hamsterball!

Luz: I doubt anything will beat your submission.

Luz: Anyways, today was exciting but exhausting, and I tired myself out with overdoing my magic.  So I’m going to bed early.  Good night!

Luz has logged off

 

—

 

Later that night, Eda was scrolling through the chat, reading it through from the beginning.  At first she just wanted to make sure Luz had been saying good things about her, but then she read about how Luz had been bullied.

‘Other chicks hurt ours.  We hunt.’ The Owl Beast growled.  It had been particularly active, even with the potion.

‘Settle down bird brain.’ Eda thought back.  ‘We’re not killing children.  And they’re not our chicks.’

Eda knew that humans could be cruel to each other.  She’d been going to the Human Realm for over twenty years, and had seen the best and worst of their kind.

She scowled as she read about Luz’s old principal.  While the words ‘racist’ and ‘homophobe’ would be alien to most on the isles, she knew what they meant.  In the Demon Realm, if you liked the same gender, felt you didn’t fit in as what you were born as, or any number of things like that, it was considered normal.  Yet some humans took issues with that, and made it everyone else’s problem.  

She was thankful Bumpy-kins was never anything like that.

‘Adults hurt chick.  We hurt them.’ the Owl Beast spoke.

‘No!  And for the last time, Luz isn’t our kid!’ Eda defended.  Luz was just her apprentice.  Heck, she’d only known the kid for four days.  She wasn’t her kid, she wasn’t attached to her already, and she didn’t have a desire to find the people who hurt her and give them a piece of her mind!

‘Denial.’ it chuckled.  ‘At least you accept the small chick as your chick.’

Well, the Owl Beast wasn’t wrong.  She had long accepted that she was basically King’s mother.  Though she never treated him as such because of his King Of Demons fantasy.  Titan, she’d allowed that to go on for far too long.  

How was she supposed to break it to him that his whole identity was a game he made up and convinced himself was real.  Hopefully, nothing happened in the near future that would force her to come clean.

…right?

Notes:

So I originally had The Tri-State Area in New York/Massachusetts/Conneticut because that's where Mandalore_the_Atreides had it. Though they changed it, so I was gonna leave it be until I saw the video that caused them to change it. It's REALLY compelling. So instead, more space-time nonsense.

And this is the first part of the Amphibia plot, FINALLY!

Credit to The_Literary_Lord for prompting my idea about the reasons the Giraffes were banished. I already had the part about the Herons written and then thought while replying to his comment "Oh wait, what if Giraffes are descended from Herons?!

I also like the idea of Herons having a war with dragons since Herons are the Amphibia equivalent to Dragons. Also yes, this means Newtopia at one point invaded the Isles, but more on that later. Also also, it means that Herons are an invasive species.

The Owl Beast demands its rights as a co-parent to Luz and King! And Eda is already getting attached to Luz. I've always liked when the Owl Beast sees Luz and King as her babies, so that's what's happening here!

I was reminded by HVulpes that in Gravity Falls, it's revealed that giant robots are under Mount Rushmore. So I alluded to that here as a conspiracy theory.

Also as for Phineas and Ferb altering it: I gave them permits to do so because even in the episode itself a park ranger sees what they're doing and basically gives them the go ahead. So if you have the right permits, nothing's illegal!

Next time the Covention with "Witches Duel" and then, finally, Anne's Birthday, which will be all the earth parts from the first to season finales.

Chapter 9: Witch's Duel

Chapter by Insecdroid

Summary:

Luz attends the annual Covention, and challenges Amity to a witch's duel.

June 6th, 2020

 

Anne: And now I am officially a teenager!

Mable: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Luz: Happy birthday!

Dipper: Happy birthday!

Phineas: Happy birthday!

Ferb: 🎉🎉🎉

Soos: Happy birthday, hambrone.

Isabella: Happy birthday!

Anne: So this is what being a teen feels like…I feel no different than yesterday.

Eda: Ahh, I remember when we were teens.

Luz: We?

Eda: How do I delete messages?

Luz: Mysterious past!  Tell me!

Eda: How about instead of chatting, you help me set up the stand.  It’s market day!

Luz: Fiiine.

Luz has logged off

Eda has logged off

Soos: So Anne, you gonna invite your friends today, dawg?

Anne: Oh right!  I meant to yesterday after the…after the K-Pop Puppy Dance Party.

Isabella: I’m sensing it didn’t end well.

Anne: Well the principal caught us pretty quickly, then pulled us each into her office one by one.  

Anne: She complimented Sasha on her leadership skills and told Marcy that she was impressed she was able to hack into the PA system.  

Anne: Then she gets to me and gives me an Essay on what I want in life because “she’s worried about me” and “I’m just coasting through life”!

Mabel: Well that’s not…too bad.

Phineas: Well what DO you want to do with your life.

Anne: I’ve…I’ve been thinking about that since yesterday, and I still don’t know.  All of you guys are doing what you want; following your dreams!  Meanwhile I question why I’m even in this chat!  My life is normal and boring.

Isabella: I’m sure your life is interesting, Anne.

Anne: It’s really not.  I wake up, go to school, hang out with Sasha and Marcy, come home, sleep, repeat.

Phineas: Well YOU have to make the excitement in your life.  As I always say: Carpe Diem: Seize The Day.

Anne: But how?!

Ferb: That’s something only you can answer for yourself.

Dipper: That’s probably why you were given that essay.

Anne: UUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!

Mabel: Mood.

Anne: Whatever.  Today’s my birthday.  I can leave this until tomorrow and just enjoy today.

Anne: I’m going to school.  Talk to you guys later.

Anne has logged off

Mabel: I wish we could help her.

Soos: Only she can help herself now, dudes.

Dipper: That was really wise Soos.

Soos: Thanks dude.

Soos: Hey, any of you dudes want to find out what happens when we hook up a watermelon to a power generator?

Dipper: I do!

Mabel: I do!

Soos: Let’s go! 

Soos has logged off

Mabel has logged off

Dipper has logged off

Phineas: Hey Ferb, I know what we’re going to do today!

Isabella: Really, the watermelon thing?

Phineas: No.  We’re gonna enter a race.

Ferb: We could hear the race from our backyard.  Context, Phineas.

Phineas: Right.

Isabella: Hey, the Fireside Girls could use our Pit Crew patches.

Phineas: Awesome!  We’ll meet you at the track, Isabella!

Phineas has logged off

Ferb has logged off

Isabella has logged off

 

---

 

Eda has logged on

Eda: Please give me something to distract from that flowery garbage.

Luz has logged on

Luz: The Good Witch Azura is not garbage!  It’s an intricately crafted literary masterpiece of action, romance, and magic for all ages!

King has logged on

King: It says it’s for ages 6-12.

Luz: Neither of you can just appreciate good literature.

Soos has logged on

Soos: @Dipper @Mabel DUDES, I JUST FOUND A HIDDEN ROOM IN THE SHACK!  COME UP STAIRS!

Soos has logged off

King: I think we’re the only people online.

Anne: No, I’m here.

Luz: I thought you had school.

Anne: Sasha and I are ditching for my birthday.

Eda: Oh, I’m so proud.  Meanwhile this one broke into a school.

Luz: And I got banned for doing so!

Eda: Two delinquents in the making.  This place is great.

Eda: But now focus.  Put down your book before its flowery language scares away my customers.

Luz: What customers?  The market is empty.

Eda: You’re right.  Something terrible must be happening today.

Luz: Something amazing is happening today!  Willow and Gus are here!

Luz: Oh, the annual covention is happening today.  Eda what’s the covention?

Eda: It’s the Emperor’s Coven’s way of getting people to sign up for a coven.  Or as I like to call it: Propaganda Central.

Anne: Dictatorship?

Eda: Dictatorship.  Though I’m one of the only ones who can see it!

Luz: Well I want to go!  It sounds like fun.

Eda: Absolutely not!

Luz: …

King: …

Luz: Just translating for you, King is reading passages from The Good Witch Azura out loud to Eda.

Eda: So flowery.  So awful.

Luz: The human realm won’t save you. (Eda walked through the portal door and I threw in King after her)

Eda: FINE!  Just stop!

Luz: Covention!

King: Covention!

Anne: Covention!

 

---

 

“Ah, the annual Covention.” a voice spoke from behind a mask.  “So many young witches aspiring for greatness.  It’s inspiring.  Wouldn’t you say so, head witch?”

“Quiet.” a tall woman with dark hair shushed.  “I do not understand why you insisted on following me here, Golden Guard.”

“Why Lilith, you're the guest of honor this year.” the Golden Guard replied.  “And as the enforcer of our Emperor's will, it would do well for us to be seen together.  Give the public a display of the comradery of the Emperor’s Coven.”

Lilith groaned.  She had hoped to get away from the obnoxious young man for just one day.  It wasn’t that she was jealous of the clear special interest the Emperor had in him or…okay it was.

“Look–”

“Heeey!” another voice called out.  “Steve is back!”

“Oh, hello Steve.” Lilith turned and greeted the coven scout.  “Is your break already over?”

“It’s only five minutes, head witch.” he reminded her.

Oh right, the coven scouts had incredibly short breaks.  She remembered how awful it was to adapt to them.

“Which is all you need.” the Golden Guard added with faux cheeriness.

“It’s really not.  Steve needs time to eat.” he responded.

“Really?” The Golden Guard sounded almost confused, but there was no way an adult – even a young one – was that naive.  He was just once more mocking them all.  “Huh.  Well I usually skip my breaks anyways so–”

“All right, we get it.” Lilith groaned.  “If you’re going to stay here, then just make sure you don’t get in my way.”

“Of course, head witch.” The Golden Guard saluted.

“And what about me?” Steve asked.

“Just keep doing what you’ve been doing, Steve.” Lilith ordered.

“Got it!” he replied with a thumbs up.

With those final orders, Lilith walked away to prepare for the demonstration.  Though once she was gone, the Golden Guard turned to Steve.

“Does she seem stressed out?” he asked.

Steve shrugged.  “She’s representing the whole of the Emperor’s Coven.  I’d be stressed too.”

 

---

 

Luz: Well the Covention has been fun…mostly.

Mabel: What happened?

Luz: I found out why Eda is the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles.

Luz: When witches and demons come of age, they’re forced to get a coven sigil that seals away all their magic EXCEPT for the magic under the coven they join.

Dipper: That's horrible!

Eda: Yep, and I never got a coven sigil so I can do all types of magic.

Luz: And the “best part” is that there’s a coven that lets you do all types of magic.  The Emperor's Coven.

Eda: AKA The Cops.

Soos: I smell a conspiracy.

Dipper: They might as well make a sign that says WE ARE AN AUTORITARIAN DICTATORSHIP!

Eda: Exactly.  So what did you get up to this morning?

Mabel: Soos found a hidden room filled with wax statues.

Soos: It was mad creepy, dudes.

Dipper: Especially since Stan was just standing there in the dark, waiting for us to see him so he could jumpscare us.

Eda: HA!

Soos: Apparently Mr. Pines used to have a wax museum, until he forgot about it.

Luz: Wax museums are super weird.  I went in one, once, for a school field trip, and I vowed to never again step foot inside another.  I felt like they were all alive and staring into my soul.

Mabel: Well you’ll like MY wax statue.

Luz: Say what now?

Dipper: Grunkle Stan wants to reopen it, and Mabel offered to make a new statue to replace Wax Abe Lincoln, who melted.

Mabel: It will be a Mabel-piece!

Isabella has logged on

Isabella has posted a link

Isabella: The race is starting!

Soos: Dudes, we gotta check this out.

 

“And in the third lane, the newcomers, Team Phineas!” the announcer…announced.  The camera panned to show Phineas in the driver’s seat, Ferb standing next to the car with a remote control, and Isabella with the Fireside Girls as the pit crew.

“Now is it just me, or does he look a little young to be behind the wheel of a seven hundred horsepower racing machine?” the co-announcer asked.

“Yes, yes he does.” the first announcer replied.

“And look, he’s already got his own screaming fans!” On the jumbotron, a clip of Candace angrily screamed “PHINEAS” appeared.  It was then shown again but in slow-mo, and it was not flattering.

Back on the ground, a news reporter was talking with Phineas.  “So Phineas, what inspired you to enter this race.”

“Well it just seemed like fun, and Ferb and I are determined to have the best summer ever!” he answered.

“Such a simple but great answer!  Racing just for the love of it.  I think we can all learn something here today from this young man.” the reporter said.  “Back to you, Henry.  But first, a quick commercial break!”

 

Dipper: Was the Candace?

Ferb: Yeah, that was our sister.

Mabel: Wow, Phineas was right.  Her neck IS really long.

Soos: So how is he going to be driving the car?

Isabella: He’s not.  Ferb’s got a remote control he’ll use to control it.

Ferb: 🕹️

Luz: I mean Phineas is only 10.  He can’t legally drive yet.

Dipper: After yesterday, I question what’s legal in Danville.

Mabel: Oh it’s back on!

 

All the cars were lined up at the starting line.  The revving of engines filled the air.  Then the camera panned into the air to reveal a purple blimp flying above the stadium.

“And with the race about to start, there’s the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated Blimp.” the announcer spoke.

 

🎵Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated🎵

 

Dipper: Who names their company “Evil Incorporated?"

Soos: This Doofenshmirtz dude, apparently.”

Mabel: I like the jingle.  It’s catchy.

Luz: I’m gonna be humming that tune for the next few days.

 

“AND THEY’RE OFF!”  The cars blasted out of the starting line!  The race was on!  Phineas quickly took the lead.

 

“This is awesome.” Luz said to herself.  She was glued to the race.

Though since she was only paying attention to her phone, she didn’t see where she was going.  Inevitably, she bumped into someone, causing them to stumble forward as she stumbled back.  

“Weh!” she exclaimed in surprise.  As she recovered, she realized that the person she’d bumped into was Amity.

“Hey, watch where you’re–” the mint-haired witch began, before she realized who she was speaking to.  “Oh, it’s you.  Willow’s abomination thing.” she sneered.

“Ah, hey, Amity.” Luz awkwardly greeted.  “So, funny story.  Not an abomination.  Sorry for the confusion the other day.  I’m Luz. The Human. Hi.” She stuck her hand out for Amity to shake.

Instead, the witch teen slapped it away.  “Put that away.  You’re the one that got me in trouble with Principal Bump, and I never get in trouble.”  She then turned and stormed away

Luz followed her, and countered, “Well, to be fair, you were okay with him trying to dissect me, even if it was a bluff, so…”

Amity stopped and spun on her heel to face her.  “You can’t be here.  This covention is for witches only.”

“Well, I’m learning how to be a witch.” Luz defended herself.  “I’m receiving magic lessons from a powerful witch and a ferocious demon.”

Amity raised a brow, then she looked behind Luz, and pointed.  “Is that your ferocious demon?” she asked while pointing to something behind her.

Luz turned around to see King walking down the aisle, dressing in shirts, hats, and even a scarf that had been free hand outs.  In his paws, he was holding a pink cupcake.  Two members of the Baker’s Coven followed behind him.

“Cupcakes in my tummy-tum make a king say yummy-yum.” he said happily.

“So will you join the Bakers Coven?” one of the members asked.

King turned to face them.  He opened his mouth and shoved his cupcake in it, then swiftly grabbed another.  “Mmm…nope!” Then he scurried away.

The other baker sighed.  “That’s the thirteenth time today.”

King spotted Luz, and waved to her.  “Oh, hey, Luz!  Look at all these offerings!” he exclaimed.  But just as he finished speaking, he accidentally stepped on  the scarf and tripped, sending his cupcake sliding across the ground.

Luz helped him up, and he went to retrieve his cupcake.  Only for Amity to stomp down, destroying it.

“Oops.  That was an accident.” Amity said in a mocking tone.  King whined in sadness.

‘WEH?!  HOW DARE SHE MAKES KING UPSET!’  Wow, that was way more aggressive than she normally was.  But she felt the wave of righteous anger and protective instinct sweep over her.  “Why are you being so mean, Amity?!” Luz practically snarled.

This caught the young witch off guard, but she didn’t back down.  “Because you and your pet–” At those words, Luz’s golden irises flared with light.  “–are giving witches-in-training a bad name.”

“I am not a pet!” King shouted.

“Yeah!  He’s the mighty King of Demon, and my friend!” Luz snapped back.  She stood up and glared at Amity.  “I’ll tell you what, Amity.”  Luz stood, and pointed a finger at the other teen.  “It’s one thing to say I can’t be a witch–”

“‘Cause you–” before she could say “can’t” Luz quickly drew a small spell circle, summoning a small ball of light.  Amity was surprised at first, but then she got angry.  “I thought you said you were a human!  Humans can’t do magic!”

“Well I’m half demon.” Luz corrected.  She then continued her earlier proclamation.  “As I was saying: It’s one thing to say I can’t be a witch, but it’s another thing to bully my friends!”  She knew just how to settle this.  “Just like the good witch Azura said–” She missed how Amity’s eyes widened a fraction of a centimeter in recognition.  “–when facing down her rival Hecate at the Bog of Immediate Regret: I challenge you to a witch’s duel!”

Gasps echoed out around them.  Amity got into Luz’s face, then smirked.  “I. Accept.” she declared.  “Let’s set the terms for this duel, shall we?”

Luz went first.  “One, if I win, you apologize to King for squashing his cupcake.  And two, you admit humans can be witches too.”

“But you’re not human.” Amity protested.  “Whatever, fine by me.  But when I win, not only do you have to tell the whole covention you’re not a witch, you have to stop training. Forever!”

Luz was temporarily snapped out of the heat of the moment by that last term.  Though it lasted only for a second, as King shouted to her, “Do it, Luz!  For my honor!”

“Fine.  Let’s shake on it.” she said, stretching out her hand.

Before she could pull away, Amity cast a spell circle around her hand.  She then reached in and shook.  Luz felt a wave of magic wash through her, giving her whole body a pins and needles sensation. 

“The everlasting oath is sealed.” she declared as she retracted her hand.

“...That’s probably fine.” Luz deadpanned, even as the gravity of the situation was finally starting to hit her.

“Meet back inside the theater in one hour.” Amity declared.  Just before leaving, she added, “Let’s see what kind of witch you are.”  Then she walked out of sight.

Luz turned to King, her nerves rapidly rising.  “King, I can win this, right?”

King was shoveling down the remnants of his squashed cupcake.  He paused mid shovel and stared at her. “Weh? Oh yeah, no.” he said, shaking his head, then going back to eating.

Okay, now Luz was officially panicking.  “...I need to find Eda.” she whispered in a horrified voice.

 

---

 

Elsewhere In The Covention

 

Eda was grumbling under her breath.  She didn’t want to be here, surrounded by everything she was against.  She could leave, but then her apprentice wouldn’t have anyone here to steer her away from the “proper path”.

‘Eh, maybe those friends of hers can watch over her while I vamoose outa this joint.’ she thought.  Unfortunately, before she could take another step, an all too familiar voice called out to her.  

“Sister?” Lilith asked

‘Aw, farts.’ was Eda’s immediate thought.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you last.” Lilith said.  She was surrounded by children, one of which she was giving an autograph to.  She handed it to the kid, then began to approach her.  “What are you wearing?  You look like some sort of trash collector– Oh right, you are.”

Okay, two could play at that game.  “Oh, Lily, I just had to see the leader of the Emperor’s Coven in action.” Eda then leaned down and whispered to the kids.  “You know, when we were kids, Lilith was so excited to see the Emperor’s Coven, she peed a little.”

Eda silently rejoiced as the kids laughed and Lilith’s face turned red.  “Tha- That’s all for today.” she said with controlled calmness as she ushered the kids away.  She then turned on her sister and gave her a death glare.  “You shouldn’t even be here!  You’re a wanted criminal.  Unless…”

Eda could see the moment hope entered Lilith’s eyes.  ‘Oh boy, here we go again.’

“I don’t believe it!  You’re here to join the Emperor’s Coven!” she said happily as she clasped Eda’s hands.

Eda tried to contain her laughter, but she just couldn’t help herself.  She burst out laughing in her sister’s face.  “In your dreams!” she said through her laughter.

Lilith once again glared at her.  “You think being coven-less makes you so much smarter than everyone else.”

“It does.” Eda snarked back.

Lilith ignored her and continued on speaking.  “But while you run from the law like a degenerate, I’m mentoring the next generation of powerful witch students into the world.”

“Well, I have a student.  And I bet she could wipe the floor with any of your prissy little blue bloods.” Eda retorted.

“Is that a challenge?” Lilith asked, getting into Eda’s face.

“Oh, it’s a promise.” she declared.

At that moment, Luz effectively spawned between the two with how fast she appeared.  Her apprentice began to ramble, “Edda I need your help, I accidentally challenged Amity to a witch’s duel, and I think she’s going to kill me all the way dead!”

After recovering from the initial shock from the sudden appearance, Lilith smirked.  “It seems your student has met my strongest protege.”  She then noticed the girl’s appearance.  “But look at those ears?  Is she a human…well half-human at least?  Where did you even find one of these?

Lilith stood up.  She summoned a spell circle, and every one of Eda’s wanted posters around the covention burned into ash.

“Okay Edalyn.  For one day, you won’t have to hide from the law, because I want to see how good a teacher you really are.” she taunted.  Lilith began to walk away, but before she could, a voice called out to her.

“Head witch!  Someone got rid of all the Owl Lady’s wanted posters!” Steve shouted as he ran up to her.

“Yes Steve, I did so myself.” Lilith clarified

“Oh, hello, Steve.” Eda greeted.

“Hey, Owl Lady.” he waved back.

Lilith raised a brow. “How do you know Steve?”

“Hooty knows him.  He’s the only scout to not resist when Hooty throws a tea party after you send them to raid my home.” she explained.

Steve shrugged.  “What can I say?  He may be terrifying but he makes a mean Jasmine.”

“Coven scouts shouldn’t be fraternizing with the enemy.” an annoying voice called out.

“Oh for the Titan’s sake.” Lilith groaned under her breath as she heard the Golden Guard.

“That goes for everyone, even the head witch of the Emperor’s Coven.” he finished.

Steve leaned over and whispered to him, “Trust me dude, it’s better to just go with the house demon.  He can be terrifying.”

“He can’t be that bad.” the Golden Guard said.

“No, he is.” Eda said.  “Really, Lily.  You need not only your scouts here, but the Emperor’s hand himself?”

“I didn’t ask for him to be here.” she snapped.

“Yeesh.  I’m sensing some tension here.” the Golden Guard joked.  He then took notice of Luz standing next to Eda.  “A human?  Why waste your time with a criminal when you could learn from the best of the best.’

“Hey, no poaching my apprentice!” Eda shouted.  “Besides, she’s too smart to fall for any of your one witch, one coven bull–”

“Enough.” Lilith said.  She turned to Eda.  “We will see you in an hour at the arena.  I suggest you use this time wisely, Edalyn.  You wouldn’t want your apprentice to embarrass the both of you.”  She turned to Steve and the Golden Guard, and ordered for them to follow her.

“Well…that could have gone worse.” Eda said as the three left.  She then turned to Luz and laid a hand on her shoulder.  “Come on, kid.  Time to prepare for blood shed.”

“But, whose blood?” Luz asked.

“Anyone’s guess.” Eda chuckled.

 

---

 

A few minutes later, the two found themselves in an empty corner of the covention where they could prepare in private.

“All right, Luz.  Let’s start your training!” Eda declared.  “Now, I’m coming at you with a blast of fire.  What do you do?”  Luz pulled her hood over her head, then collapsed to the ground in the fetal position.  “Oh, that’s right.  I haven’t taught you many–well, any spells.”

Oh boy, she has not been a good mentor so far.  Luz had done as she asked and helped her with her work.  Sure the potion deliveries ended with Adagast tricking her, and no one was actually at the market today, but Luz had still done exactly what Eda had needed her to do.  Now it was her turn to hold up her end of the deal.

“Okay.  You know the light spell already.  If you can get in close, you can use it to blind your opponent.” Eda suggested.

“Except my eyes are extra sensitive to light now, so it would hurt me more.” Luz reminded her.  “Also, that would only work for a moment anyways.”

“Dang it.” Eda muttered.  “Well, uhhh…you could just knock her out with your strength like Adagast.”

“That’s allowed?!” she shouted.

“Oh yeah.  A witch’s duel isn’t just using magic.  If you have some other skill, then you can use it.” Eda explained.

“Well I can’t do just that.  Amity said that humans can’t be witches, so I need to prove her wrong and win this with only magic!” Luz declared.

“Well you could always cheat.” she suggested.

“Weh? NO!” was the response she got.

“So no cheating…” Eda thought about her options for a moment.  “Well then the only option is to find a way to make the light spell offensive.  There are a few light based spells for fighting, but they’re all defensive.”

“Well they say the best offense is a good defense.” Luz said.  “So teach me some spells, Owl Lady!”

“All right.” Eda spun a spell circle and a bubble appeared around her.  “This is your basic shield spell.  Most magic will bounce right off, but it isn’t that durable.  It can only take a few hits before it breaks.”

Luz spun a spell circle, but she only created a light.  She tried again and again, but still there was only light.

“Okay…this is fine.” Eda said.  “Sure you’re working with a magic no one alive has ever seen before, but that doesn’t mean I can’t…” she trailed off.  She had no idea how to teach Luz a new spell in time when the girl had only just discovered this type of magic yesterday.  Eda pulled out her scroll.  “Perhaps some outside perspective will help.”

 

---

 

Dipper: Congrats on winning the race.

Soos: It was kind of short.  Don't races usually last, like, a lot longer.

Phineas: Not today.  Today was just a few laps for the race track’s grand opening.  

Mabel: I still wish we got to see the end.

Isabella: It’s too bad the blimp crashed into the broadcasting tower.

Mabel: At least we got to hear your song, Isabella!  It was so catchy!

Soos: Yeah, dude.  For a song that was just the words “Go” and “Phineas” it was great.

Mabel: Did you come up with it just on the spot?

Isabella: Yeah, I did.  What did you think of the song, Phineas?

Phineas: It was great!  Ferb?

Ferb: 👍👍

Eda has logged on

Luz has logged on

Eda: All right!  Luz challenged the baby Blight to a witch’s duel, and she has less than an hour left.  And I don’t know how she can do any magic other than the light glyph.

Luz: She means Amity BTW.

Dipper: You can’t just use your super strength?

Luz: I can but it’s a matter of pride as to why I can’t rely on just that.

Mabel: Flashbang!

Luz: Which would hurt me even worse because of my eyes, and is only a temporary solution.

Soos: What if you summoned a wall of light glyphs to block her.

Luz: That…could work.  But I need something more.

Eda: Well our time is running out.  But I think I may now have an idea thanks to Soos.  If the light is strong enough and you can block it out, then an opening for a finisher would be possible.

Eda: You’re gonna have to use your super strength if you want to end this fight.  No two ways about it.  Though if you want to make a statement first, here’s what you’re going to do…

 

---

 

Back in the theater, over a hundred attendees had gathered to watch the Witch’s duel about to take place.  Lilith had spent the prior hour not only preparing Amity, but spreading the word.

“Beloved citizens,” the leader of the Emperor’s Coven began.  “The Emperor’s Coven proudly presents an impromptu demonstration of the sort of witch we seek every year.”  Next to her, Amity stood with a smug look on her face.  She stepped forward at Lilith’s prompting, while the head witch placed a hand on the back of her neck.  “Introducing Amity Blight.”

The audience cheered for her.

“Verses…some human girl.” Lilith finished.

The stands became full of murmurs.  Everyone knew humans can’t do magic.  Though that’s really all they knew, besides that Humans have round ears versus a witch’s pointed ones.

“Wow, biased much?” the Golden Guard asked.  Lilith glared at him, but he ignored it.  “Citizens, presenting the apprentice to the infamous Owl Lady…the human!” He realized he didn’t know the human’s name.  Still, his presentation was much better and far more fair.  

At the mention of the infamous Owl Lady, the crowd's murmurs of confusion turned into ones of interest.  Still, most of the witches and demons in attendance didn’t believe a human could win this.

“Yes, thank you Golden Guard.” Lilith said through gritted teeth.

With Eda and Luz, the latter was trying not to panic.  Eda laid a comforting hand on her apprentice’s shoulder.

“Calm down.  You have a plan, remember.” she said.

“Right.  The plan.” Luz muttered.  The plan that was very specific and could possibly go very wrong, but it was still a plan.  She would be fine…yeah.

“Hey, if it doesn’t work out, you can always resort to a brawl.” Eda said.

Before Luz could respond, the bell screamed, signaling the start of the duel.  Eda retreated back to the edge of the ring, while Luz and Amity stepped into the center.  They stared each other down for a brief moment, then Amity made the first move.

“Abomination, rise.” Amity commanded.  A hulking construct of purple-pink goo rose up, one far larger than what she had created back at Hexside.  Amity’s eyes briefly widened in shock, but then she smirked.  “Abomination, destroy.”

It was now or never.  Luz ducked under the Abomination’s swing, then went on the back foot.  When she was far enough away, she casted a spell circle.  A ball of light formed in front of Amity, but almost instantly exploded.  It blinded the mint hair teen, though even with as far away as she was, it still caused Luz’s eyes to sting, forcing her to shut them hard to well up tears to soothe them.

In the stands, the crowd gasped in surprise.  A human was doing magic!

“A cheap trick!” Amity shouted.  Her abomination lunged forward, and Luz ducked under its swing, then dropped to the ground and rolled.  She summoned another light in front of Amity, but the other teen commanded, “Abomination, smother!”

The abomination grabbed the light between its hands just before it went off.  Its hands glowed white for a second before the light fully disappeared.

“Abomination, throw!”  The abomination mimed like it was throwing a stone, then a glob of its arm broke off and hurtled towards Luz.  It hit her feet, binding her in place.  “Abomination, punch!”

Luz couldn’t dodge, so she raised her arms to protect herself instead.  The abomination slammed its fist into her guard, sending her flying back.  As it made contact, Luz felt a rush of magic shoot through her arms.  It felt like flexing her muscles, but amplified by ten!

Luz stumbled as she landed, but managed not to fall down.  ‘Okay, moment of truth.’ she thought.  She casted a spell circle and shut her eyes tight while using her other arm to cover her eyes.

Around the arena, spots under the dirt began to glow.  As she had been dodging, Luz had dropped light glyphs onto the ground, and used the dirt kicked up by her movement to cover them.  The whole arena was now covered in light landmines.  And together, they’d make one heck of a flashbang!

They all went off at once, and Amity yelled as her vision went white.  Luz waited a second, then uncovered and opened her eyes.  Eda’s plan had worked!  While she was distracted, the half human teen rushed forward.

She reached Amity, and threw a punch.  Though at that moment, Amity recovered and – to Luz’s utter shock – the young witch grabbed her arm, stopping her mid-punch.  Amity then swiftly threw Luz over her shoulder and onto the ground.

“Abomination, stomp!” she commanded while still holding Luz’s arm so she couldn’t break free.  She pulled, but Amity wasn’t even budging.

‘HOW IS SHE THIS STRONG?!’ Luz thought.  The abomination was closing in, and in desperation she pulled a light glyph out of her pocket and activated it.  They both screamed as it went off, but it made Amity let go.  Luz just started rolling to her right until her vision came back.

“Would you stop that!” Amity shouted.  “Abomination, throw.”

The abomination wound up another glob, but this time Luz was ready.  She sprung up, and then ran in a zigzag pattern so it couldn’t hit her.  Then she screeched to a halt and began casting another spell circle.

At the same time, Amity ordered, “Abomination, crush!”

Yet as Luz had come to a stop, four light glyphs fluttered out of her pocket and into her spell circle.  Her eyes widened as the Abomination appeared in front of her, then she snapped them shut in anticipation of a massive flash of light and/or punch to her face.  Instead, she heard a resounding thud and felt herself be pushed back a tiny amount.

She cracked open her eyes, only to stare in awe.  In front of her was an oval light shield connected to her forearm.  It was colored a translucent purple with a gold and black outline.  It had intercepted the abomination’s punch, which had pushed her back ever so slightly.

Looking closely at the shield, she saw a light glyph in the center, then four more in the cardinal directions.  Two lines connected the glyphs on the outside, then two more lines extended from each of those to the one in the center.

“Woah.” she whispered.

On the sidelines, Eda grinned widely.  “Hardlight, huh?  Nice going, Luz!” she shouted!

Luz smirked, as she came up with a new plan to win.  She threw her arm out, pushing the abomination back.  Amity’s eyes narrowed as she saw the half human get her second wind.

“Abomination, destroy.” she commanded.

The abomination rushed towards Luz, but she came at it swinging.  She used the edge of her hardlight shield to cleave it in half.  The strength behind her swing sent the top half flying back where it splattered against the wall.

The crowd gasped, then cheered.

Meanwhile Amity thought, ‘How in the Titan’s name did I stop her punch?!’

She didn’t have much time to dwell on it, as soon Luz was upon her.  Amity raised another abomination, but Luz used her shield to push it away.  Amity quickly created a fist out of the abomination slime and punched the shield, sending Luz sliding back halfway across the arena,

‘What gives?  I know I’m not this strong.’ the mint haired teen thought.  

Luz was about to charge her, when an idea popped into her head.  She spun around and launched the shield at Amity.  It struck the other teen in the torso and knocked her to the ground, but shattered on impact.

‘Just like Captain America!’ Luz thought triumphantly.

Before Amity could recover, Luz quickly charged in while summoning another shield.  As the mint-haired witch stood, she slung a whip of abomination slime at Luz’s feet.  Luz tried to jump over it, but it latched onto the bottom of her shoe.  Amity pulled on it, yanking Luz down.

“Abomination, rise!” she commanded, forming a new abomination.  “Abomination, restrain!”

The abomination ran forward and enveloped Luz before she could stand.  The half demon teen struggled, but the elasticity of the slime kept it from breaking, and thus kept her from escaping.  If she couldn’t get out soon, then she would lose!

Filled with a determination to win, Luz managed to rip her arm and shield free.  She punched the ground, detonating the hardlight which sent out a shockwave.  The combination of which splattered the abomination against the ground and walls, and also knocked Amity onto her back.

Before she could rise, Luz summoned more hardlight, but this time she used it on Amity.  The light wrapped over her body to restrain her, leaving only her head exposed so she could still breathe.  

She tried to break free by summoning an abomination, but she could only move her fingers so the spell circle was tiny.  She fought against the hardlight, but she just couldn't move enough to do anything.

“I’m calling it!” the Golden Guard announced after fifteen seconds.  “The human is the winner!”  

Luz dispelled the hardlight, allowing Amity to get up.  The mint-haired teen immediately began to storm off, though as she did, Eda spotted something on the back of her neck.  

“Hold on just a minute.” Eda said.  She walked over to Amity and peeled off a piece of paper that had been attached to the back of her neck.  “Just as I thought.  A Power Glyph from the Construction Coven!”

The audience gasped.

“What?!  I-I didn’t know.” Amity insisted.  How could this have…Lilith.  She spun around and faced her mentor, who wore a guilty expression.

Meanwhile Eda celebrated.  “Aha!  Yes yes yes yes yes!  You cheated!  Perfect, prissy little Lilith cheated!  Hot dang, I love coventions!”

“I only did that because I knew you would cheat!” Lilith defended herself.

“Oh but that’s the best part. = I didn’t!” Eda exclaimed.  “Welcome down to my level, and I have to say, the view from the high road is great!”

Yet while Eda celebrated, Luz saw the expression of utter betrayal etched on Amity’s face.  She ran out of the theater, and Luz followed behind.  It took a few moments to find her, but she eventually found the teen witch balled up in an abandoned corner of the covention center.

“Amity–” Luz began, but she was interrupted.

“Humans can be witches.” Amity said.  “You won, so I’m holding up my end of the deal.”

“I don’t care about that anymore.” Luz said.  “Are you okay?”

“Why do you even care?” she snapped back.

“Because you’re upset.” was Luz’s simple response.

“Just go away.” Amity snapped.  Then she just began to unload everything.  “You don’t know what it's like to have your mentor betray you in front of everything you strived for!  It was my dream to join the Emperor’s Coven, but Miss Lilith apparently thought I wasn’t even capable of fighting a human! …and she was right.  If she didn’t give me the power glyph, then the match would have been over when you summoned all that light.”

“But it wasn’t, and thanks to you I learned a new spell!” Luz insisted.  She took out a light glyph and presented it to Amity.  As the mint-haired teen took it, it activated.  Luz then spun a spell circle, summoning another light.  “I didn’t even know I was half-demon until a few days ago, and I couldn’t do magic until yesterday.”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?” Amity deadpanned.  “So you just discovered you can do magic, and beat someone who’s trained to be the best her whole life.”

“No!” Luz urged.  “I meant that this is the only way I can do magic.  I can’t do any other spells, only the light glyph.  But during our duel, I figured this out.”  She took out the blank sheet and sketched the hardlight pattern onto it.  She tapped it, causing the paper to glow and turn into a small sheet of hardlight.

“I’ve…never seen magic cast like that.” Amity admitted.

“Exactly!  Eda didn't know how to teach me, but you did!” Luz said.  Sure it was technically an accident, but Amity was still the reason she found it.  “Magic doesn’t come naturally to me like it does for you, even if I do have a bile sack.  I’ve only found what I have so far because I had to.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, the only sound being Luz’s scratching her shoulder.  Then Luz spoke again.

“Amity, I’m sorry Lilith cheated for you.  I…I know what it's like to have the people who care about you think you’re not enough the way you are.” Luz admitted.

That hit home for Amity, more than Luz intended it to.  For Amity, her mother had always pushed her to be perfect, to be the undisputed best.  Nothing she did was ever good enough.  Even perfection was met with “You could have done better.”  Lilith had been the only person who praised her accomplishments, but apparently she also thought Amity wasn’t good enough.

But Luz didn’t.  She’d tried to get her dissected, insulted her, and fought her with the intent to forever deprive her of learning magic.  Yet she was still here making sure that she was okay.

Amity grabbed Luz’s hand and drew a spell circle around them.  “There, the everlasting oath is undone.  That way I can say this and really mean it: I’m sorry I said humans can’t be witches.”

“It’s fine.” Luz brushed off.  “I mean like you said, I’m not fully human.”

“Still, it was wrong.” Amity insisted.  “So was making an everlasting oath to deprive you of doing magic.”  She then cautiously admitted.  “I…may have gotten a little bit angry when you quoted Azura to challenge me.”

“Weh?!” Luz sat up straight.  "You know about the Good Witch Azura?!”

“Yeah, it’s my favorite series, and I thought you were mocking me with it.” Amity replied

“I would never!  The Good Witch Azura is an intricately crafted literary masterpiece of action, romance, and magic for all ages!” Luz insisted.

“Finally, someone gets it!” Amity exclaimed.  She then noticed that Luz was still scratching her shoulder.  “Are you okay?”

Luz waved it off.  “Oh yeah.  I think the power glyph just irritated my muscles when your abomination punched me.  My arms have been itchy since.  It’s not a big deal.”

“Here.” Amity pulled out a patch and placed it on her arm.  “It's a healing patch.  It should help any muscle swelling go down.”

“Thanks, Amity.” Luz said.  “So…are we friends now?” she asked.

“I…don’t know.” Amity admitted.  After getting past what had happened, Amity found herself liking Luz.  She was kind to her, even after she had been so horrible to her.  Yet the last friend Amity had that she actually wanted…it didn’t end well.  That being said…she did want to be friends with Luz.  “But I’d like to be.”

“LUZ!” Before Luz could respond, their conversation was interrupted by the voice of King.  “There you are, we have to go.  Eda just fought Lilith, and now we’re making a break for it.”

“Did she win?” Luz asked.

“Ehh.” King said. Tilting his paw in a so-so gesture.

“It’s…King, right?” Amity asked.  “I owe you an apology for crushing your cupcake, and calling you a pet.  I’m sorry.”

“Hmm?  Oh, all is forgiven.  After all, I am a merciful ruler.  Well, today at least.” he replied.  “Now hurry, Luz!” he shouted as he scurried away.

“Okay okay.” she said.  “Bye Amity, see you around.”  With those parting words, she followed after King.

 

---

 

Luz: We’re back!

Eda: With victory achieved!

King: And with my honor restored!

Hooty: Aww, that’s terrific!

Eda: HOOTY?!  How’d you get in the chat?

Hooty: Hmmmm, I don’t know…

Unknown has descended into the chat

Unknown: You shouldn’t be here, no one invited you.

Hooty: But all my friends are here, AND NEW ONES!

King: How are you even typing?  You don’t have arms.

Hooty: With my beak, hoot hoot.

Unknown has removed Hooty from the chat

Unknown: Well that was weird.

Hooty: Yeah, it was.

Unknown: …HOW?!

Luz: Just let it be.

Dipper: I mean I’m fine if he stays.

Mabel: Me too!

Soos: He seems cool.

Phineas: I don’t see the big deal.

Ferb: I vote he stays

Isabella: Yeah, just let him stay.

Eda: HA!  Famous last words, kids…and Soos.

Unknown: You’re going to regret this.

Unknown has ascended out of the chat

Dipper: Was that a threat?  And we can type in bold?

King: No, it’s just what happens when you know Hooty.

Hooty: HOOT!

Soos: …So Luz, you won your duel?

Luz: Yeah, but Amity cheated.  Well, she didn’t cheat, but Lilth cheated for her.

Mabel: Who’s Lilith?

Eda: the leader of the Emperor’s Coven, and my sister.

Luz: WHAT?!  She’s your sister?!

Luz: Wait Luz, focus!  Okay, so Lilith cheated because she thought Eda would cheat, which she didn’t, and Amity ran off.  I went after her to try and make her feel better.

Dipper: Why?  She bullies your friend, tried to have you dissected, and was mean to King.

King: Yet my honor was restored!

Luz: True, but she was still upset.

Luz: Anyways, we talked, she undid the everlasting oath so she could apologize without being forced to, and now I think Amity and I are friends.

Anne has logged on

Anne: Be careful.  You don’t want to lose Willow as a friend by becoming friends with her bully.

Luz: Good point.  Too bad I can’t get them to become friends.

Phineas: Maybe you can, just not right away.

Luz: Okay.  So how did the race end?

Phineas: We won!

Phineas uploaded trophy.jpg

Anne: That’s a big trophy!

Eda: It sparkles and shimmers… I must have it… OH!  Sorry about that.  That was a side effect of the curse.

Eda: What about you, Anne?  What did you get up to today while ditching school?  Once again, I’m so proud.

Anne: Sash and I went shopping, went to the arcade and broke our high score on Super Dance Fun Time Fusion, and…

Mabel: Anne, you trailed off there.

Anne: It's not a big deal.  Sasha just…and yeah.

Anne: Okay, we may have done a few things that were…less than legal.

Eda: And…you’re not okay with that, are you?

Anne: No.  Though I’m surprised you care.  I thought you’d be all for breaking the law.

Eda: Yes, I – Eda the Owl Lady – am okay with breaking the law.  You aren’t.  Plus the Emperor’s laws are all stupid.

Anne: Oh… Well it’s fine.  That’s just what friends do for each other.  They help each other get the things they want.

Phineas: I mean…I guess that’s right.  But it still sounds wrong.

Anne: Look, if a friend likes a pencil case, you get it for them.  

Anne: If your friend likes your new shoes, you give them to her.  

Anne: If your friends are all having adventures, then you should have them too.

Anne: And if your friends want you to steal a crazy music box from a thrift store even if you don’t really want to, you do it, OK?

Eda: And how many times has your friend done these things for you?

Anne: I…have to go.

Anne has logged off

Dipper: @Anne

Soos: Dudes, that’s messed up.

Hooty: My friends would never do that.

King: Hooty, your friends are all bugs, and you eat them.

Hooty: Yeeeaahhh…

Isabella: What kind of friend does something like that?

Luz: The kind that’s not actually your friend.

Mabel: Luz?

Luz: Sorry.  It’s just that at school, I’ve had kids try to become my friend before, but only ever if they wanted something from me.  One it was just a dare to become friends with “the school freak”.

Dipper: …So in the journal there’s a thing called the Gremoblin, and when you look into its eyes you see your worst fear.  I vote we capture one and unleash it on your school.

Eda: Seconded.  Also I need an elixir.  Reading that just stressed me out enough to cause half my face and both arms to turn.

Luz: You guys don’t have to do that for me.

Mabel: Yes, but we want to.  BURN IT TO THE GROUND!

Eda: Oh I like this kid’s predisposition towards destruction.

Mabel: I AM THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION!

King: Well I’m the King of Destruction!  We should combine forces and bring that place to the ground!

Mabel: YES!

Hooty: Do it, it’ll be funny.

Luz: No one is destroying my school!

Eda: Exactly.  No one will know it was us.

Luz: NO!

Hooty: HOOOOOOT!

 

---

 

Lilith groaned as she entered her room back at the Emperor’s Castle.  Today had been physically exhausting and mentally draining.  

Despite her curse, Edalyn was still capable of putting up a strong fight. Lilith nearly had her until she revealed the curse was getting worse, and said she didn’t have much time left.  Her guilt ate at her stronger than ever, and she was just about to confess to having been the one to curse her.  Then Edalyn threw a bag of Hex Mix in her face and ran away laughing.

If that wasn’t bad enough, after that whole debacle, she found Amity and tried to explain herself.  Her apprentice– No, former apprentice, as she’d made it very clear she no longer wished to learn from her.  Well not only had she ended her apprenticeship, but she’d really let Lilith have it.

Then she had to deal with the Golden Guard yet again.  He proceeded to lecture her on why cheating was wrong with that same smug attitude he always had.  She was getting really sick and tired of his sarcasm.  He couldn’t keep getting away with disrespecting her just because he was some prodigy.

Lilith collapsed down onto her bed without bothering to change clothes.  She was ready to fall asleep at that very second.  Then the sound of her scroll pining caught her attention.  She took it out, and saw…

 

Chat Group Created

Multiverseal Access Granted

Redeemer has added Hienz Doofenshmirtz to the chat

Redeemer has added Pacifica Northwest the the chat

Redeemer has– ERROR: Sasha Waybright can not be added at this time

Redeemer has added Lilith Clawthorne to the chat

Redeemer has added Hunter to the chat

Redeemer has added Steve Tholomule to the chat

Redeemer has– ERROR: Amity Blight can not be added

Redeemer: Odd… 

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, hello.  Who are you people?

Pacifica: How did you all get on my phone?  Ew.

Pacifica Northwest has left the chat

Redeemer had re-added Pacifica Northwest to the chat

Pacifica Northwest has left the chat again

Redeemer had re-re-added Pacifica Northwest to the chat

Redeemer: You’re not getting out of this, Northwest.

Hunter: Why did a scroll just appear in front of me?

Lilith: How did you get access to my scroll?

Steve: Hey, I’m Steve.

Doofenshmirtz: Hello Steve.  I’m Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz.  I’m an evil scientist.

Steve: Aww, you’re evil.  Well that sucks.  Now we can’t be friends.

Hunter: If you are evil, then you must be brought to justice!

Doofenshmirtz: I am, every day.  As hard as I try, my nemesis always stops me.

Lilith: Enough.  I’m tired and would like to get to sleep soon, so I’ll cut to the chase: Why are we here?

Redeemer: You are all here because you are not good people, but you are not bad either.  I believe that by confiding in each other, you can all become better people.

Pacifica: Well I don’t belong here.  I’m perfect, and very rich.

Lilith: …Oh Titan, she’s like Odalia.  Even Amity was never this much like her, no matter how much that woman tried.

Doofenshmirtz: I can sense an abusive parent a mile away.

Doofenshmirtz: If there’s one thing I hate more than anything, even my brother Roger, it’s abusive parents.  Mine were the absolute worst.

Redeemer: As a multiversal entity who has seen the vast expanse of all that has ever existed, I can confirm.  They are some of the worst parents that have ever and will ever exist.

Redeemer: On the contrary, you Heinze are one of the best parents I have encountered.  Even if you are not perfect, you always try.

Doofenshmirtz: Why thank you, mysterious entity.

Steve: Steve apologizes for his earlier actions.

Doofenshmirtz: It’s cool.  I like you Steve.

Steve: Thanks.  Since you already introduced yourself, I might as well.  I am Steve Tholomule, and I am a Coven Scout under Head Witch Lilith, who is also here.

Lilith: Yes.  As Steve said, I am Lilith Clawthorne.  Head Witch of the Emperor’s Coven.

Pacifica: What are you on about?

Doofenshmirtz: This is a multiversal chat.  I assume they’re both from another universe.

Lilith: Oh, are you humans?

Doofenshmirtz: Yes.

Pacifica: You’re not?  And why are you so casual about this?

Doofenshmirtz: My nemesis isn’t human.  I don’t like to assume.

Hunter: Yes, we're witches.

Steve: Are you sure you’re evil?  You seem like a good dude.

Doofenshmirtz: I am, and I will one day control THE ENTIRE TRI STATE AREA!

Pacifica: …okay.  Well if I have to be a part of this, you better all know who I am.  I’m Pacifica Northwest of the Northwest family, the founders of Gravity Falls, Oregon.  I’m only 12, and I’m already better than all of you.

Lilith: Young lady, that attitude may get you far in life, but it will make you many enemies.

Pacifica: Whatever.

Hunter: Hi, I’m Hunter. I’m 16. I am the Golden Guard, the right hand to the emperor.

Lilith: Wait, YOU’RE the Golden Guard?!  And you’re how old?!

Hunter: 16.  I thought I typed that, but I guess I’m mistaken.

Steve: Dude, that’s the Head Witch you’re talking to.  You can lay off of the sarcasm.

Hunter: Sorry, I’m just…not the best with other people.  

Lilith: …Hunter, I owe you an apology.  I thought you were around 20.  This whole time I assumed you were being purposefully condescending.  Apparently, you just have poor social skills.

Hunter: What?  Actually. That does explain things.  But why did you think I was 20?

Lilith: Because a 16-year-old shouldn’t be a soldier!

Doofenshmirtz: WHAT?!  You’re a child soldier?!

Pacifica: That is messed up.

Hunter: It’s fine.  We get a single day off a year and get to wake up at 6AM.  It’s a great life!

Doofenshmirtz: @Redeemer So when you said I had some of the worst parents in the multiverse…

Redeemer: Yes, his caretaker is the worst parent/guardian in the multiverse.

Steve: Wait, wouldn’t that be Emperor Belos.

Hunter: How dare you!  Emperor Belos is a great man!  He took me in after wild magic killed our family.  He says the Titan has big plans for me.

Pacifica: The Titan?

Lilith: The Titan is the land mass we live on and our God.  A long deceased being whose decay gave life to witches and demons.  Yet his spirit lingers, and that spirit speaks to the Boiling Isles through Emperor Belos.

Doofenshmirtz: …So it’s a cult.  You all live in a cult.

Lilith: It’s not a cult!

Hunter: What’s a cult?

Doofenshmirtz: A cult is: “a relatively small group of people having beliefs or practices, especially relating to religion, that are regarded by others as strange or sinister or as imposing excessive control over members”.

Pacifica: Did you just Copy/Paste from dictionary.com?

Doofenshmirtz: Yes, yes I did.

Hunter: It’s not a cult!  Emperor Belos is a kind man!  He said the Titan has big plans for me.

Doofenshmirtz: SEE!  You basically just repeated the same thing!  That’s what cults teach you, it’s their indoctrination!  Did this Belos guy tell @Lilith and @Steve that the Titan has big plans for them.

Steve: Nah.

Lilith: …he did.  It’s why I’m allowed to keep my Palisman when everyone else has to give theirs up when they join.

Doofenshmirtz: That’s a cult!

Pacifica: I hate to agree with Dr. Evil over here, but that sounds like a cult.

Lilith: It’s not a cult!

Hunter: It’s not a cult!

Steve: …Oh shit, Steve might have joined a cult.

Lilith: STEVE!

Doofenshmirtz: It’s totally a– Hold on.  

Perry the Platypus has been added to the chat

Perry: Doctor Doofenshmirtz, what’s the– Oh wow.  Yeah, you’re in a cult.

Pacifica: A…platypus.

Doofenshmirtz: PERRY the Platypus.  He’s my nemesis.

Pacifica: Your nemesis is a platypus?  And you lose to him?

Perry: I have been trained in every martial art known to man, and others only known to animals.

Doofenshmirtz: Wow, it’s great to actually be able to talk to you now.  Now I can actually get your feedback on my evil schemes!

Perry: Okay.  What was the point of covering the Eastern Seaboard in tinfoil and reversing the rotation of the earth?

Pacifica: That was you?!

Doofenshmirtz: I was going to figure that part out after.

Lilith: …so he’s an idiot.

Perry: Yeah.

Doofenshmirtz: Heeeyyy!

Perry: But back to the cult thing.  That is textbook cult practice.  

Perry: Though with how deep cult indoctrination can run, nothing we say today will get you to change your view.  Just keep an eye out, as the only person important to a cult is the leader.  Everyone else is expendable.

Redeemer: Well said.  And can I just say it is an honor to have you here, Perry.  You are one of the most morally good and pure beings across all of space-time.

Perry: Really?  I just do what is right.

Redeemer: Exactly.  I think you being in this chat will really help everyone become better.

Redeemer: Oh, that reminds me.  I am sorry, but I have put you all under an everlasting oath.  There is another chat a friend of mine is running.  Some of you may be invited, but none of you will be allowed to mention this chat if you are.

Pacifica: So we don’t have a choice?!

Redeemer: No, you do not.  If you try, you will find yourself incapable of revealing any information.  The restriction will only end when certain conditions have been met.

Redeemer: For now, that is all.  Please take care, and I wish the best for all of you.

Redeemer has logged off

 

---

 

Private Chat opened between Redeemer and Perry the Platypus

Perry: That restriction… Is this due to Phineas and Ferb being in the other chat.  I’ve seen them talking in it for the past few days.

Redeemer: That is correct.  This will keep your cover intact even if the others are invited.  Though I would suggest giving them a heads up on what happens if your cover is blown.  Once you feel they are trustworthy of course.

Perry: You know a lot.

Redeemer: As is my role.  For instance, I know you will have to report this to O.W.C.A., and that they will monitor this chat.  Which I’m fine with, and is probably for the best.

Perry: One last topic: You tried to invite two others.  Why did it fail?

Redeemer: Sasha Waybright.  She must have been invited to the other chat already.  Unless she leaves it, I cannot invite her.  Though Unknown seems to be certain that she will arrive here soon.

Redeemer: As for Amity Blight, I believe she has already begun to walk the right path without this chat’s intervention.  It is unfortunate that she will not be here, but I cannot say I am disappointed that she’s improving.

Redeemer: That is all.  Actually…

Redeemer as given Perry the Platypus the role of Moderator

Redeemer: I trust your moral compass, and because of that I give you this power.  Use it to help the others avoid becoming the worst versions of themselves.

Perry: I already do that with Doctor Doofenshmirtz.  I will make sure to help the others.

Redeemer: Excellent.  For now, this is farewell, Perry.  Goodbye.

Redeemer has logged off

Perry has logged off

Notes:

Okay, that was a long chapter. Nearly 10K words.

And thus Headhunters.

Hunter and Stever are here because I like Hunter and Steve.

So Luz won her duel and learned her first Glyph Combo: Hardlight. Though she isn't exactly sure how it works yet and won't figure it out fully until she has a second glyph.

And Amity and Luz are on good terms now, which will affect the Wailing Star. Oh, I have something I'm excited to write for that.

Hooty is in the chat, much to everyone's confusion. How did he get in? He's Hooty, that's how.

And the chat sees just how toxic the relationship between Anne, Sasha, and Marcy is at the moment. It'll change. Also I'll just say it here: at this point in time, Anne is only on her way to steal the box, she hasn't done so yet.

And here is the second chat. Credit to HVuples for the idea. So as said, Sasha will be arriving to it later, after Prison Break. I have a plan, don't worry. She just needs to be in the chat long enough to see the events of The Hand That Rocks The Mabel, credit to Superstary56 for that one. As for Amity, since she's on good terms with Luz already, she doesn't need the Redeemer's help on her path to redemption.

Well, that's all. I will see you next time for: Happy Birthday Anne

Chapter 10: Happy Birthday, Anne Boonchuy

Chapter by Insecdroid

Summary:

On Anne's Birthday, a series of poor decisions by all leads to the beginning of a life altering event.

Notes:

ALL RIGHT! Time for the openings to Reunion, True Colors, Best Fronds, and the Amphibia theme song!

Hey just to let you all know, this fic has a TV Tropes page. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/InventionsMysteriesAmphibiansAndTitansAChatFic

June 6th, 2020

 

Anne rode down the street on her bike.  After yesterday and talking with the chat earlier, she needed this time to just clear her head.  Yet her thoughts just kept drifting back to one question that plagued her mind.

‘What do I want to do with my life?’ played in her head again and again like a record skipping.  She could always work at Thai Go and take over the business when her parents were ready to retire.  ‘No no no!  That’s boring!’  She liked tennis, maybe she could try to play it professionally.  ‘But am I good enough?’

“UUUGGGHHH!” she groaned.  She told herself that she wouldn’t dwell on this today.  So why couldn’t she stop thinking about it!  ‘I’m only thirteen.  I have years before I have to figure out what I want to do when I’m an adult.’

But that wasn’t what Mrs. Murphy had asked her.  She’d asked “Who do you want to be?”.  And…Anne didn’t know.

Just up ahead, Saint James's Middle School came into view.  She shook the thoughts from her head – to the best of her abilities – and pedaled faster until she reached the front of the school.

She hooped off her bike as she arrived, then brought out her bike lock from her backpack.  While there, she also grabbed the khao niew bing her mom had made for her.  She put it in her mouth to hold while she locked up her bike.  Though just as she locked the chain around the bike, she heard someone call out to her from directly behind her.

“Hey Boobchuy.” Oh great, just what she needed today of all days.  She stood up and faced Maggie, the school bully.  “Whatcha eating?  A puke bun?” Maggie taunted, then laughed.

“It’s not a bun, Maggie.” she corrected.  “It’s khao niew bing, a traditional snack made up of rice and coconut milk.  My mom made it for me because it’s my birthday.”

“Oh. Happy birthday.” Maggie replied politely.  She then grabbed Anne’s hand and tried to rip the khao niew bing from her grasp.  “Give me that!”

“Hey! Get your own Thai mom!” Anne shouted as she pulled back.  “Also, that was in my mouth already!”

“Oh, gross.” Maggie said as she let go.  “Well what else do you have on you?”

Yet before anything could happen, Sasha appeared with a guitar solo.

“Hey Margot!  Leave her alone.” Sasha interjected. She then turned her head. “Nice guitar solo, Vince.” she complimented, receiving a “Yeah!” and devil horns in response.

“Oh yeah?  Or else what?” Maggie challenged.

“Or else you can forget coming to my awesome house party next week.” Sasha replied.  “It’ll be really sad when the whole class is enjoying the pool, without you.” she said, weaponizing peer pressure.

“Aw, geez, Sash.  I was just playing.” Maggie backpedaled.  She then quickly stormed away.

“Thanks, dude.” Anne said to Sasha.

“No worries.  You just gotta speak their language.” she responded.  “But never mind that.  Happy birthday, girl!”

They both squealed in excitement, and Anne did a little twirl while Sasha held onto her finger.  Then the bell rang, interrupting their moment of joy.

“Buzz kill.” Sasha grunted.

“Tell me about it.” Anne responded in kind.  They both began walking towards the front doors, and Anne decided to switch topics.  “So another house party?  Man, my parents would never let me throw one.  But this is, what, your fourth one this year?”

“Yeah, my parents don’t really care as long as we don’t trash the house.  They’re not really around enough to care anyways.” Sasha said,  barely contained bitterness in her voice.

Anne nervously looked away.  Sasha’s parents were a sore subject.  They both worked near constantly, with her father working abroad.  The last time Anne remembered seeing the man was on Sasha’s tenth birthday.  As for her mother, she could spend multiple days straight working.

“I’m sure it will be a blast!” Anne replied, trying to bring the mood up.

“Heck yeah it will!” Sasha cheered, shoving her issues down into a small box where they would never see the light of day.

 

---

 

Biology class.  This had to be Anne’s least favorite class.  Everything about it was totally gross, and just her luck today was the worst of all.

“All right, class.  Today’s your lucky day ‘cause it’s frog dissection day.” her teacher announced.  To be fair to her, everyone groaned and called it gross.

Anne looked down at the dead orange frog on her tray, and flipped it over with her pen.  It’s tongue flopped out of its mouth as cold glassy dead eyes stared back at her.  She shuddered in disgust.

“Ugh!  Frogs are the worst.” she groaned.

“Right?” Sasha said as she rolled her chair up next to Anne.  “Let’s get outta here.” She then began to fake hack, heave, and gag.  “Mrs. Virk, the sight of blood… I’m gonna be sick!” she dramatically overacted.

Yet somehow, Mrs. Virk fell for it, hook, line, and sphincter.  “Oh dear.  Anne, why don’t you take Sasha to the sick room before she desecrates these beautiful frog bodies with her vomit.” she said.  

…Okay, yeah Anne was all for getting out of here now.  That was way weird, and not in a good way.

As soon as the two were out of the biology lab, Sasha dropped her act.  They ran down the hallway, with Sasha ripping a random notice off the wall.  Though as they ran by the nurse’s office, Anne came to a halt.

“Yo Sash.  Sick room’s over here.” she said.  Anne assumed they would just hang out there until Biology was over.  Yet she was wrong.

Sasha rolled her eyes.  “Forget the sick room.  Forget school.  Let’s get out of here and celebrate your birthday in style!” she suggested.

“Oof, skip school?  I don’t know Sash…” Anne was unsure.  I mean, she’d never done it before…but at the same time it was her birthday.  And it was only one day.

Sasha picked up on this.  “Anne, this is your thirteenth birthday.  You only get one of those.” her best friend insisted.  “She wrapped an arm around Anne’s shoulder.  “So let’s make it the best birthday in the history of birthdays!”

“Well…all right.” she agreed hesitantly.  “I gotta be home by six, though.  My parents are throwing a big party and they really want me to be there.”

Sasha waved her concerns off.  “Right, right, you got it.  Now let’s get this thing started!”

 

---

 

They both exited the school and hopped on Anne’s bike.  They took off, cheering as they rode into LA.

They soon found themselves at their favorite arcade, and crushed their high score on Super Dance Fun Time Fusion!  Though that ended with Sasha punching the machine to get them more tokens to continue playing.

Later, Sasha was graffiti-ing her name on the side of a building.  She handed the spray can to Anne so she could participate.  She nervously took it, and pressed down on the can for a second.  Then the wailing of sirens made her drop it and press up against the wall to hide.  Thankfully neither of them were spotted.

From there they went to the mall.  Anne bought a new swimsuit for the upcoming party at Sasha’s, while Sasha "acquired" a new top.

Yet as they were leaving, Sasha grabbed a grocery cart from the parking lot.  She urged Anne to hop inside.  She then ran towards the edge of the hill, then hopped inside and let the motion carry them down.  They nearly hit an old lady walking her dog and a couple on a peaceful afternoon walk.

 

---

 

Anne sipped her colorful concoction of sugar, sugar, more sugar.  It was delicious!  

“So that’s what a unicorn tastes like.  Corn syrup.” she commented.  She should recommend it to Mabel.

While she and Saha were snaking, she was texting the chat while Sasha texted Marcy.  Luz had won her Witch’s Duel, and Phineas and Ferb had won their race.  Her friends seemed to be having a good day.

Yet as she was talking to them, a notification popped up on her screen.  She’d received two texts from her mom.

Mom: Where are you?

Mom: Party starts in 15 minutes!

“Oh shoot!  It’s almost six o’clock.” she exclaimed.  “I gotta go, dude.”

Sasha sipped her drink for another second before lowering it.  “Family party, right? Lame.  Let me guess, a clown?  With balloon animals?”

Anne blushed with embarrassment.  “I know it’s not the coolest, but this is important to them.”

“Mmm-hmm.” Sasha replied.  The blonde then got a notification, which caused her to gasp.  “Oh my gosh.  Marcy says she found the perfect gift for you downtown.” Sasha quickly typed back a response then spun the phone around so Anne could see.

On her screen was a picture of an old music box with carvings of trees and mushrooms on the main body, and a frog on the lid.  Also on the lid were three gemstones colored pink, blue, and green.

“A frog music box for the frog lover.” Sasha said.  She then turned the phone back around.  “I wonder if those gems are real?”  She quickly stood up and began to push Anne towards the door.  “Come one.  Let’s keep this party train rolling.  Choo-choo!”

Anne pulled away.  “Sorry, dude.  You don’t understand.  I really gotta go.” she insisted.

Yet before she could leave, Sasha interjected with, “Oh, I understand Anne.  You are a good little girl who’s gotta go home to her mommy and daddy.  Come one.  Hang out with your friends that love you.”

Anne stopped.  Huh, that was an odd feeling in her chest.  Eh, she figured it was nothing.  She turned to face Sasha.  “Sasha, I’d really like to, but–”

She was cut off.  “Anne, this isn’t cute anymore.  We are meeting up with Marcy right now.  End. Of. Discussion.”

Anne wanted to protest…but she was never able to say no when Sasha said that.  Instead, she nervously responded, “I guess it’s okay if I’m a little late.”

“Boom!  I knew you’d change your mind!” Sasha cheered as they exited Money Coffee.  “Oh, B-T-Dubs, you’ll have to steal the box.  There’s no way we can afford it if those gems are real.

“Wait, what?!” she shouted.  “Dude, I can’t steal–”

But her words were ignored and brushed off.  “You’ll be fine, Anne.  Now, come on.”

As they walked down the street, Anne texted the chat.  She read their responses, and Eda’s words hit hard for Anne.  She tried to ignore them, but couldn’t.  Sasha had never done something like this for her.  Yet Anne knew that if she asked her, she would…right?

 

---

 

An Hour Earlier…

 

Marcy picked up her phone as she got a text from Sasha.  She’d been studying in the library for an hour, and had lost track of time.

👑Sasha👑: Stop studying ya nerd

👑Sasha👑: IT’S ANNE’S BDAY!!!

👑Sasha👑: MEET US DOWNTOWN 🥳🎂💃

“Anne’s birthday!  I almost forgot!” She’d been so wrapped up in what she was doing that she’d let time slip away from her!  She quickly stood up and began shoving her books into her bag, but as she did a woman passing by dropped one of her books.

“Excuse me, ma’am!  You dropped this–” she began to say, but then she noticed what the book was.  “Dr P’s Extraordinary Guide To Magic & Mystery?  Huh, interesting.”

She tried to catch up with the woman, but she couldn’t find her.  So, she decided to check it out herself.  It looked like a fun read if nothing else.  Maybe it would give her some new ideas for a Creatures & Caverns campaign.

After another three minutes, she exited the Library with the book in hand.  She began flipping through the pages, reading the various different entries.

‘The Musical Phenomenon is observed around the world.  It is a magical force that can allow people to burst out into song and dance without any rehearsal or even forewarning.  In areas where it is most concentrated, residents will not be able to distinguish that this is abnormal behavior.’  

‘It is my belief that the Dancing Plague of 1518 was caused by a corruption of the Musical Phenomenon.’

“Pfft, please.  People don’t just break out in song and dance.” she laughed it off.  Marcy turned the page.

‘In my journey to uncover the mysteries of the world, I visited the witch hunting capitals of New England.  While any other book can tell you about the horrors of Salem, in this book I will talk about Gravesfield, Connecticut, and would propose to you the mystery of the Brothers Wittebane.’

The rest of the page was taken up by the drawing of a statue of two men.  The next page contained the legend itself.

‘According to legend, in the year 1613, two orphaned brothers arrived in Gravesfield: Philip and Caleb.  Caleb did his best to take care of his younger brother.  They attempted to fit in with the town and its practices.  Ones unfortunately only now considered to be the horrific acts of violence they truly were.  They became witch hunters.’

‘Local lore suggests that the Brothers Wittebane met a real witch, one who came from another world.  Surviving records name this woman Evelyn.  Whether or not she was a real witch is uncertain.’

‘After her arrival in town, the older brother was supposedly spirited away.  It is told that she entranced Caleb with magic and visions of a world described as “Strange yet beautiful”.  The witch hunter and witch are said to have used a secret code to traverse the two worlds.’

‘Philip followed after to save his brother and bring the witch to justice.  Though after he left, neither brother was ever seen again.  That is where the legend ends.’

‘It is unknown what became of the Brothers Wittebane to this day.  Did they flee town, or is the legend true?  Alas, all evidence does point towards the former being the case.  Though this author likes to believe that there might have been at least some truth to the myth.’

“Interesting, though they were probably just eaten by bears.” Marcy muttered.  

She turned to the next page.  On the second page was a drawing of a frog themed music box.  Then her eyes were drawn to the large writing.

CALAMITY BOX

TRAVEL TO OTHER WORLDS

“Ha! Oh, goofy stuff.  Cool artwork though.” she commented.  

She pulled out her phone to take a picture of the artwork.  She took the picture, but right after she did her phone buzzed and a notification covered her screen.

Dad: Come home.  We Need to talk.

“Huh.  Wonder what this is all about.” she mused.  This was unusual.  Her parents rarely texted her.  If they had anything they needed to tell her, they’d just wait until she got home.  “Well, guess I’ll head home before meeting up with the girls.”

 

---

 

Half An Hour Later…

 

“Marcy, you have to understand…” her dad’s stern voice called out behind her.

“NO!  You guys are ruining my life!” she shouted back, tears running down her cheeks.  She burst out the front door and ran down the street.

“Marcy, wait!” her mother called after her.

Meanwhile her father shouted in that same stern tone, “Get back here, young lady!”

She ignored them.  She ran and ran until she was far away from that house!  

When she finally stopped running, she found herself downtown.  She was huffing and puffing from having run for so long.  She leaned her arm and head against a store front window and began taking deep breaths.

She couldn’t believe it!  Her father got a new job, all the way in Massachusetts.  They were moving!  

They were going to tear her, Sasha, and Anne apart, and they didn’t care!  When she tried to tell them how she felt, they just rolled over her with the “we’re your parents and what we say is final” argument!  

They never cared about her feelings.  They never even asked how she was doing.  The closest she got were questions about her recent performance and school and a “Good Job” if it was positive!

Now they were going to tear her away from the best thing in her life; her two best friends!  And all they said was “you can make new friends”.  It wouldn’t be the same!  She’d never find friends like Sasha and Anne!  They meant everything to her, and her parents just didn’t understand!

‘I can’t leave my girls behind!  I just wish there was something – ANYTHING – I could do!’ she lamented.

She wiped her tears and raised her head, only to immediately freeze.  Right in front of her eyes, on top of a vanity wardrobe inside the store, was an old music box with a frog carving and three gems on the lid.

“That’s weird.  Is that–” She took out her phone and opened the image she took of the artwork of the Calamity Box.  She looked from the image to the music box inside the store.

They were the exact same.

She zoomed in on her phone and re-read the words on the page.

TRAVEL TO OTHER WORLDS

Then a notification popped up from Sasha.

👑Sasha👑: WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!

Marcy’s thoughts began to race.  If that really was the Calamity Box, then everything could be fixed.  She wouldn’t have to be separated from Anne and Sasha!  They could go to another world and stay together!

…Yeah right, like it was true.  It was probably just some rumor drummed up about the box so it could be sold for more money.  

It would never work.  There was no such thing as magic, spontaneous musical numbers, or music boxes that could travel between worlds.  …Still, she chose to push rationality to the side and believe it was true.  Because it was a far better alternative to her current reality.

She took out her phone and snapped a picture of the box through the window.  Then she sent it to Sasha with a simple message attached.

🎲Marcy🎲: I think I just found the perfect birthday present for Anne.

 

---

 

At The Present Moment…

 

‘Okay Anne, you can do this.’ she thought to herself.  She was inside the thrift store, standing in front of a wardrobe.  On top was the music box, the one that Marcy said would be the perfect birthday gift for her.  ‘Just grab it, hide it in your bag, then leave.  It’s that easy.’

She looked around nervously.  As she looked at the store front window, she saw Sasha and Marcy, both giving her the thumbs up.  Behind her, the owner of the store was reading a book, paying no attention to her.  All she had to do was reach up and take it.

‘Why couldn’t Sasha have done this?  Why did it have to be me?’ she asked herself.  She hadn’t been on board with Sasha’s plans for most of the day.  Yet she’d still gone along with them.  What was one more, even if it was theft.

She took a deep breath, then swiftly reached up, grabbed the music box, and placed it in her bag.  There. It was done.

She resisted the urge to immediately run out of the store.  Instead, she pretended to look at an old rocking chair by the door to make it look like she was still browsing.  After a minute, she tried her best to walk casually out of the store, but with every step she felt like the owner would shout and call her a thief.

But that wasn’t the case.  She made it outside and walked down the street, Sasha and Marcy followed after her.

“All right, way to go, Boonchuy!” Sasha said, patting her on the back.  “I knew you had it in you.”

“Yeah, I guess I did.” she replied nervously, letting out a quiet nervous chuckle.

“Okay, now let’s find some place and open this box up.” Marcy said quickly.  She sounded hurried, and a little panicked.  Though that was probably just because they had stolen the box.

Anne hated this.  She could go along with a lot of things Sasha wanted them to do, but stealing was crossing a line.  Yet she couldn’t say no to Sasha, as she was her best friend!  Maybe the chat would have some advice on how to handle this–

THE CHAT!  “Oh my god, I almost forgot!  Again!” Anne exclaimed.  She whipped out her phone and opened the chat.  “So I got added to this chat on the first, and I've been meaning to invite you both since the fourth.”

“With who?  You don’t have any other friends besides us.” Sasha lightly ribbed.

“Well I do now.” Anne responded with a playful smirk.  “Though…brace yourself.  Things in here can get chaotic.”

“Oh they can’t be that bad.” Marcy waved off.

“Famous last words, Mar-Mar.” Anne replied.  She then hit “send invite”.

 

---

 

Sasha accepted the invite and opened the chat.  Instantly upon loading in, her eyes widened as the first thing she saw was an exchange between Anne and someone named Eda.

Anne: Look, if a friend likes a pencil case, you get it for them.  

Anne: If your friend likes your new shoes, you give them to her.  

Anne: If your friends are all having adventures, then you should have them too.

Anne: And if your friends want you to steal a crazy music box from a thrift store even if you don’t really want to, you do it, OK?

Eda: And how many times has your friend done these things for you?

Anne: I…have to go.

She felt her left eye twitch with irritation.  Then she looked under and saw these strangers ragging on her.

‘How dare they interfere in my relationships.’ Sasha thought angrily.  

On the inside she was fuming.  What their group had was perfect the way it was, there was no need to change things!  Yet these people were threatening their status quo.  If Anne listened to them, then everything would be ruined.  She couldn’t let that happen.

Because she feared losing control of the best thing she had going on in her life.

Yet on the outside, she put on a smile and typed a greeting.

 

Sasha Waybright has been added to the chat

Marcy Regina Wu has been added to the chat

Sasha: Heyyyy!

Mabel: Oh. Hi.

Dipper: So you’re Anne’s friends?

Luz: It’s nice to meet you.

Eda: So you’re Sasha.

 

Yeah, Sasha didn’t like them, and she could tell they didn’t like her.  

On the other hand, Marcy was ecstatic!

 

Marcy: OH. MY. GOD!  THE MULTIVERSE IS REAL!  MAGIC IS REAL!  AND THERE’S A TOWN FILLED WITH WEIRD STUFF WITHIN A DAY’S DRIVE FROM HERE!  THIS PLACE IS GREAT!

Mabel: I like your spirit!

Luz: So Marcy, Anne told me you also read The Good Witch Azura.

Marcy: OH MY GOD YES!  It’s so good!

Luz: After a life of being the only person interested, I have now met two people today who share my greatest hyperfixation!

Marcy: THERE’S ANOTHER ONE?!  THIS IS FJKLA

Anne: Marcy, are you alright?!

Dipper: What happened?

Sasha: She fell, again.

Marcy: Yeah, it’s no biggie.  It happens all the time.  I can be a tad bit clumsy.

Anne: Marcy, you’re one of my best friends, but you’re more than just a “tad bit clumsy”.

Sasha: It’s true.  Do you remember the park incident?

Marcy: Okay, yeah.  In my defense, that dog came out of nowhere and knocked me over.  It’s just bad luck that I rolled down the hill and slammed into a picnic table.

Luz: Youch.

Marcy: But nevermind that, tell me EVERYTHING about magic!  Start with what type of magic you can do!

Luz: Well I just discovered a lost way of doing magic.

Marcy: Living the dream.

Luz: You know it!

Marcy: WAIT!  I just backread.  You’re from Gravesfield?!  That means the legend is true!

Luz: Legend– Wait, OH IT IS TRUE!

Dipper: Hi, Dipper here.  As someone who wishes to visit Gravesfield, I’d actually be interested in knowing what you are talking about.

Marcy: Oh, right!  The legend of the Brothers Wittebane.

Marcy uploaded legend.jpg

Marcy: It’s said they met a real witch from another world!

Luz: Which would be the Demon Realm!

Marcy: Oh I wish I could visit!

Luz: Well if you’re ever nearby, then you should!

 

And that brought Marcy to an abrupt halt.  She…was going to be nearby.  Her family was moving to Massachusetts, and Gravesfield would be a short drive away.  Heck, they were pretty much right next to each other on the border of the states!

She could have a fantasy adventure.  Yet, Anne and Sasha wouldn’t be there.  That’s why she was relying on the Calamity box–

THE CALAMITY BOX!  If the legend of the Brothers Wittebane was true, then was the box?!  She never seriously expected it to work, even if she hoped it would!  Though now with this new information, it seemed almost certain that the box would actually work.

“All right!  Let’s open this music box up.  I want to hear what it sounds like.” Sasha cheered.

“Okay, just let me get it out of my bag.” Anne replied.

As Marcy saw Anne retrieve the box, the full weight of what was about to happen hit her like a speeding truck.  They were about to cross into another dimension.  She knew she shouldn’t go through with this.  She should say something and stop this.

Yet she didn’t.

The thought of leaving her two best friends behind was too much to bear.  She couldn’t move, even if another magic adventure awaited her there.  So, she stayed silent and let Anne open the box.

 

---

 

A Few Minutes Earlier

 

As the trio of best friends walked through the park, the sky began to darken, and the streetlights turned on.  Most people had cleared out of the park by then, and they only saw a few others in the distance.

Sasha and Marcy had been quiet since Anne had added them to the chat.  Marcy was completely absorbed into the chat.  Her and Luz immediately hit it off, like she knew they would.

As for Sasha, she had barely interacted with them beyond an initial greeting.  Anne figured that this wouldn’t go well after the chat’s initial impression of her.  But they just needed to give her a chance so they could see what Anne saw!

And maybe Sasha would see how pushing Anne to steal the box had hurt her.

The sun had set completely by the time the trio arrived at a picnic table near the playground.  This was the very playground Anne and Marcy had met Sasha, when she defended them from some older bullies.  Even though they were too old for the playground now, they still hung out here on occasion, for nostalgia’s sake.

“All right!  Let’s open this music box up.  I want to hear what it sounds like.” Sasha cheered.

“Okay, just let me get it out of my bag.” Anne replied.  She sat down and placed her bag in front of her.  She carefully pulled out the music box.  The gems on top glowed under the artificial light illuminating the pathway.  “All right, I’ll admit, it does actually look kind of nice.”

Anne placed her hand on the lid.  As soon as her skin made contact, there was a jolt of energy that ran through her arm.  She turned the key with her other hand, and barely visible blue, pink, and green sparks began to crackle along the back of the box.  Once the key could turn no further, she opened the lid.

Light filled her vision as power surged out from the box!  It enveloped the trio whole.  Anne felt herself being yanked forwards…

…

…

…

Energy coursed through her body.

She shrank; her tongue felt like rubber.

Everything changed and then reverted.

All in an instant.

…

…

…

…and then she was falling on her face.

As Anne stood, she spat out a mouthful of mud, gagging as the earthy taste lingered.  She looked up and saw she was in a forest.  The sun was directly overhead, but it had just set when she opened the box.

‘Did I pass out?’ she thought.  

As her bearings came back to her, she took a closer look at her environment.  Large mushrooms glowing all sorts of colors littered the landscape.  The ground was damp and not damp like it had just rained but like it was perpetually damp.  She heard loud chittering in the distance.

“What the heck?  Where am I?” she asked aloud.  Then a dragonfly as big as her flew by.  “...WHAT THE F–”

Notes:

And FINALLY, Amphibia has begun!

Okay, so I thought on why Sasha and Marcy would do what they do. For Sasha I went with her parents being workaholics that she rarely sees. For Marcy, I went with her parents being emotionally distant. While I didn't want their parents to be good parents, I didn't want to make them abusive either. So physical and emotional absence was my pick. That's why Sasha strives for control, and why Marcy would choose to go to such an extreme to keep her one actual emotional connection...well aside from currently unknown and unprocessed romantic feelings.

Oh geez, I wonder how the legend of the Brothers Wittebane being introduced here will affect the story.

No F bomb...yet. This is a T rated fic which is the equivalent of a PG13 movie, so only one will be allowed. Maybe one for GF, Amphibia, and TOH, and another for Doofenshmirtz.

Also FYI, at the ending they arrive in Amphibia at Noon the next day. So another chapter before then.

Next Time, June 7th, 2020:
- C11: Doctor Nosa Will See You Now (Luz, Eda, and King visit Tinella's practice. Meanwhile Phineas and Ferb see a movie about a mummy & the Mystery Shack reopens its wax museum)
- C12: Survival Of The Anne-est (Anne and Sasha are stranded in the wilderness, and through a video call the chat helps them survive)
- C13: Ferb, I Know What Else We're Going To Do Today (An original P&F episode where they try to make a portal to bring Anne back)

Chapter 11: Doctor Nosa Will See You Now

Chapter by Insecdroid

Summary:

After waking up to more demon puberty changes, Luz, Eda, and King visit Doctor Nosa. While there, a revelation is made that forces a long-kept secret to be revealed.

Notes:

Yay, another one day turn around. I should hopefully be able to keep this up for another day since the next chapter was already written, and now I'm just rewriting it to add the other characters that have been added.

June 7th, 2020

 

Luz awoke once more to the mysterious space with the unknown liquid and floating cubes.  Only this time, she was not floating in the liquid, but floating in the air.  She could feel that gravity was pulling her in both directions, perfectly suspending her in place.

“What’s going on?” she asked.  “Is this a part of the Demon Realm?”  As she asked, she felt herself pulled down.  She heard the splash as she landed…

…only to wake up in her sleeping bag.  She was laying face down, and felt King curled up on her back.  ‘Well, I guess I’m stuck here for the time being.’ she thought.

She slightly shifted her body to prop her head up with her hands…only to feel something soft brush against her chin and prickle at her skin.  Oh, she had a bad feeling about this.  She slowly raised her head and looked down at her arms.  

…Yep, there it was.

A layer of black fur was now covering her arms and hands, except for her fingers which remained unchanged.  She brushed her right hand over her left arm, feeling for where the fur ended.  She reached her shoulder, then she pushed two fingers under her shirt.  It continued around her upper back and sternum to her other arm but left her neck and the rest of her torso bare of fur.

What a way to start the day.

She moved to stand up, forgetting that King was on her back.  He fell to the ground with a startled “Weh”.  Yet as she tried to take a step forward, she felt her balance be thrown completely off and fell on her face.

“Heh heh, bap.” King laughed as he started to swat at something, something she could feel. It sent a prickling sensation through it and up to her lower spine, just above her waist.

“King…do I have a tail?” she asked a bit nervously.

“Yep.” he exclaimed as he continued to bat at it like a cat.  It was fluffy like a swiffer duster and had a coal grey tip

Okay…okay she could deal with this.  She stood up again, intending to take it slow, but even standing still she could barely keep her balance, and inevitably fell back down.

Yeah, she couldn’t do this on her own.  “...EEEDAAA!” she shouted.

Five seconds later, Eda burst through the door.  She took one look at Luz, now covered in fur and with a tail, and sighed.  “Okay, we’re going to visit Tinella today.”

 

---

 

Two hours later, Eda, Luz, and King were sitting in Tinella’s practice.  

Luz had remembered seeing crutches that Eda had obtained (she had to correct her mentor that they were not human weapons) and asked Eda to bring them to her.  It took a bit to get used to walking with both them and a tail.  Even with crutches, Luz was liable to lose her balance and fall over.

Owlbert had to fly low to the ground at a low speed to make sure that if she fell off, it would gravely injure her.  Because of that, it took them an whil to actually make it to Bonesborough.

Only for them to arrive and realize that they had no idea where Tinella’s practice was.  Thank the Titan that luck was on their side as they soon met the eyeball eater – whose name turned out to be Ed – who knew exactly where she worked.  

They soon arrived, and thank the Titan, Tinella didn’t have any appointments for the morning and was able to take them as a walk in.  She immediately ushered them into the back, where she took an X-Ray of Luz, along with more blood work, a cheek swab, and a strand of her hair and fur each.

That brought them to the present, where they were still waiting for the results to be finalized.  It took about three quarters of an hour, but eventually Tinella returned with a stack of paper.

“I have your wesults.  Would you wike the good news ow bad news fiwst?” she asked.

“Just…give me the worst news first, doc.  Then work your way up.” Luz said.

“Alwight.  Well it is good news too!” Doctor Nosa said.  “Congwatulations Luz, you’we going to gwow wings!”

“Weh?!  I am?!” she asked excitedly, her tail involuntarily wagging.  “Wait…why is that bad news?”

“The wings fowm inside youw body befowe bwusting out.  It is vewy painful.” she explained.  Luz turned a few shades paler.  “So I will be pwescwibing you high duty pain killew potions.  You should take them if you feel pain in youw back or a headache coming on.”

“My head?” she asked while rubbing her temple.

“Yes, you awe also going to gwow howns.” Tinella revealed.  “Though the pain fwom them should be only slightly wowse than a new tooth gwowing in.  Oh, which weminds me, youw fangs will gwow slightly longer than a witch’s fangs.”

“Is that it?” she asked.

“You will develop bone claws over youw fingews and toes.” Tinella explained.  “Though that will be hawmless as youw nails wils just gwow overw them.  You will still be able to feel as aftew they finish gwowing, new newve endings will quickly develop.  At most you may expewience a few houws of having no feeling in them.  Oh, and youw haiw will gwow fastew.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed that last part.” she said, brushing her fingers through her hair which now reached her shoulders.  It felt weird for her hair to be this long.  Not bad, just different.  She usually kept it in a pixie cut out of preference for the style.  “So is that it for the changes?”

“Hmmmm…Yep!” Tinella confirmed.  She then flipped to the next page.  “Now about youw bile sack.”  They leaned forward.  “You don’t have one.”

“That can’t be right.  Check again!” Eda demanded.  “I’ve seen her draw a spell circle!”

“As have I!  I was at the covention.” she reminded them.

“Yeah, you went power mad with the construction glyph.” King commented.

“It was wowth it!” she proudly declared.  “Yet you awe not drawing power fwom bile, but fwom youw whole body.”

“Huh.  Well that just reinforced King’s Eld Demon theory.” Eda said.  She saw Luz’s confused expression and went on to explain.  “Lots of Eld Demons had powerful body parts that empower magic.  Dragons, Ceadeuses, Wingmen, and of course Titans.  Titan’s Blood is the most powerful source of magic on the isles, but it’s incredibly rare.”

“What are Ceadeuses and Wingmen?” Luz asked.

“A Ceadeus is a massive undersea dragon that lives deep in the boiling seas.  They’re never seen near land, and we only know of them because their dead bodies will very rarely wash up on beaches.” Eda explained.  “Their lungs can be brewed into potions that when consumed allow someone to withstand the boiling sea and breathe underwater.

“So magic whale dragons.  Got it.” Luz replied.

Eda continued.  “Wingmen were the progenitors of Harpies and most other winged biped demons.  Their bone marrow can give a witch wings.”

“So magic red bull marrow.” Luz said.

“That means nothing to me.” her mentor responded blankly.  “But sure.”

Tinella cleared her throat.  “Yes. Youw blood, owgans, muscles, and bones seem to contain gweat powew.  Enough to awwow you to use youw discovewed magic thwough spell ciwcles.”

“Okay.  Anything else?”  Luz asked.

“Only how you cuwwently feel.” Doctor Nosa said.  “Gwowing a tail isn’t pwesant.  If you need a pain killer potion now, then please ask.”

“Uhhh, I feel fine.” Luz admitted.  “I didn’t even realize it had grown until King started batting at it.”

“Hmmm… I would like to wun another test.” she replied.  “Youw body may be weleasing pain killers into youw system on its own to deal with yow metamowphisis.”

Tinella performed a quick scan of Luz’s muscles and reread her bloodwork.  It took another ten minutes, but she came back with some surprising info.

“Thewe is nothing that should biologically be stopping you fwom feeling the full effects – and pain – of your metamowphisis.” she revealed.  “So my assumption is that thewe is some outside fowce at play.  Has anything odd happened befowe the two wimes we have met?”

Luz thought about it for a second.  “There is this weird dream where I wake up in this place that looks like someone drenched a canyon in oil.”

Tinella hummed in thought for a moment.  “Well I have to assume that youw Eld Demon hewitage is drawing you into this place.  Without youw consciousness, youw body can easily go through the changes and you feel no pain.”

“Oh, well that’s a relief.” Luz said, letting out a sigh.

“I’m still pwescwibing you pain killew potions fow the wings.  Just to be safe.” Tinella said, as she wrote something down.  “Now, fow youw wesults on youw hewitage.  I can confiwm you awe an Eld Demon, though I have no idea what kind you awe.”

“Well why not?” Eda asked.

“Because thewe is no wecowd of any Eld Demon like you.” she answered.  “If thewe is, then it’s been declawed fowbidden infowmation by the Empewow’s Coven.”

“Well that’s just great.” Eda grumbled.

“Though I was able to confiwm that Luz’s pawentage.” Doctor Nosa informed them.

Eda knew what that meant.  “Okay.  King, come on outside.” she said as she picked the little demon up.

“But I want to stay!” he whined.

“Nope!” Eda said as she quickly left the room with him in tow.

Luz watched them leave, having a good sense of what was about to be discussed.  After the door closed behind them, Tinella turned to Luz.

“So, you awe bown fwom thwee pawents.” Tinella confirmed.  “Two human, and an Eld Demon thwough essence twansfew.”  

“What’s essence transfer?” Luz asked.

“Well, when a mom–”

“Stop, I know all this!  We have this talk back in the human realm.” she quickly explained.

“Then I’ll skip to the pawt that welates to Eld Demons specifically.” Doctor Nosa replied.  “Eld Demons can pwocweate asexually, ow with mowe then a single othew demon.  The main way is thwough taking theiw essence and bestowing it upon a child that has been conceived but not yet bown.  This also means that the biological pawents can be completely unawawe until demon pubewty begins.”

“So…you’re saying an Eld Demon gave me their powers before I was born.  Is that right?” she asked.  

“It’s just a hypothesis, but it seems highly likely.” Doctor Nosa explained.  “Othew than that, well you said you already had the talk.  So that, but with mowe than two.”

That would explain things.  Like why neither of her parents ever had an inkling as to why she had her mutations.  But why would some Eld Demon give her powers before she was born?

“So I’m two thirds human, and one third mystery demon?” she said.

“No.  Eventually you will be fifty/fifty.” Doctor Nosa explained.

As she spoke, she handed Luz the paper she was holding.  On it it showed a DNA match for both ninety percent human DNA and ten percent demon.  Under it was another similar paper, but it was now seventy/thirty. 

“So as my demon puberty goes on, my demon side…what, takes over half of my human DNA?” she asked.

“Not exactly.” she said, then went on to correct Luz.  “It’s mowe like that you have a hundwed pewcent human DNA and fifty pewcent demon.  The demon side is now gwowing to its own a hundwed pewcent, effectively giving you fifty/fifty human/demon DNA.”

“Okay, so nothing’s being taken away from me.  Just…more is being added.” she concluded.

“Cowwect!” Tinella confirmed.  “Now excuse me fow just a moment.”  Tinella left the room, then came back thirty seconds later with Eda and King in tow.  “Thewe is one final thing I wish to discuss, weguawding King.”

“Weh?  Me?” he asked.

“Yes.” Doctor Nosa confirmed.  “When you awwived, I noticed the similarities between youw’s and Luz’s fuw.  So I took one of youws and one of hews, and put them in this!”

As she spoke, she took out a potion bottle.  Inside was a viscous concoction that was glowing white.  Eda’s eyes widened as she saw it.

“Oh…wow.” she said with a dumbstruck look on her face.

“Eda…what does white mean?” Luz asked.

Before she could answer, Tinella answered for her.  “It means that the two stwands of fuw come fwom people who shawe at least one pawent.  Congwatulations, you awe siblings!”

“WEH?!/WEH?!” they both shouted.

 

—

 

Luz: Well my morning has been interesting to say the least.

Dipper: What happened now?

Luz: I woke up with fur and a tail, then went to the doctors where I found out I’ll grow claws, horns, and wings.  Also apparently growing wings is super painful.

Phineas: Well yeah, but you’ll be able to fly eventually.  How cool is that?

Luz: …it is pretty awesome.

Luz: Though that wasn’t the biggest reveal!  I also found out that King is my brother!  

Mabel: OH MY GOSH THAT’S AWESOME!

Phineas: Getting a new brother is awesome.  I speak from personal experience.

Ferb: I concur.

Soos: But isn’t that King dude the King of Demons?

King: I AM!  I don’t know how this is possible!!

Eda: HEY!  We’re almost at your favorite Eye-Scream place King.  Why don’t we get some before going home.

King: Yippee!

King has logged off

Eda: …So you can all figure it out.

Isabella: He’s not actually the king of demons, is he?

Eda: No.  I can explain later, but I owe him the full story first.

Eda has logged off

Luz: So what have you guys been up to this morning?

Phineas: Me, Ferb, Candace, and our dad went to see the old mummy movie ‘Bones Of Doom’ in an Egyptian themed theater.

Ferb: And now we’re searching for a real mummy in the bowls of the theater.

Dipper: I doubt you’ll find one, but you do you.

Mabel: The wax museum reopened!  Most of the town came to see my Mabel-piece!

Mabel uploaded waxstan.jpg

Luz: Yep, still creepy.  But wow, that looks EXACTLY like him.

Mabel: HEY!  And thank you!

Phineas: So how did the town like it?

Soos: They hated it, dudes.

Dipper: They didn’t hate the statue, they hated that Stan lied about there being free Pizza.  That’s why they all showed up.

Luz: Fair enough.

Mabel: Well Stan liked my statue.

Dipper: Like, a lot.  Like way more than is normal.  Even a narcissist would think, “Woah, you love yourself a bit too much.”

Luz: So it’s been an active morning for all of us.

Luz: And we’re nearly back at the Owl House.  Eda’s going to tell King the truth.  See you later.

Luz has logged off

Dipper: Hey, has anyone heard from Anne since last night?

Phineas: No, she and her friends just stopped responding.

Isabella: I hope they’re all alright.

 

---

 

Luz lowered her phone.  In front of her, she saw the Owl house come into view.  Owlbert came to a stop, and she carefully climbed down off of him.  She’d gotten used to her tail enough to at least be able to fly on a staff without risking falling off.

They trudged inside the house, and sat down on the couch.  King was sat in the middle with Luz to his left and Eda on his right.

“Okay King,” Eda began.  “There’s something I have to tell you.  Something I should have long ago.”  Okay…here it goes.  “You are not the King of Demons.”

“WEH?!  What do you mean I’m not the King of Demons?!” he yelled

Eda sighed, and looked away, shame on her face.  “It’s time for me to tell you how we really met.”  As she said this, she casted a spell circle similar to the one from Luz’s first day on the Isles.  Inside, Eda’s memory began to play.

“Eight years ago, I was looking for a place to hide from the Emperor’s Coven.  I came to an island that I never even knew existed.  It just appeared out of the mist.  So I landed”

A boiling rainstorm poured down on a beach lined with tropical looking plants.  A hooded Eda flew in on Owlbert before quickly hopping off.

“Now I was one hot tamale, but the Boiling Rains were even hotter.  I needed shelter but when I found it…”

Younger Eda wandered into the forest.  After a minute of walking, a massive stone structure appeared in the distance.  She walked up to it, and found an opening partially caved in by rubble.  She clambered over them and inside the building.

“I wasn’t alone.”

Yonder Eda walked through the abandoned building.  All around scattered across the ground were rocks piled on top of each other, each one three rocks high, topped with a curved stone.  She knelt down to examine one, but then heard something shift behind her.  

“Who’s there?  Reveal yourself!” she shouted.  She heard something move behind her.  She spun around, and baby King leapt out from behind one of the stacks of rocks.

(Luz had to stifle a squeal as baby King was the cutest thing she had ever seen.  Though she did take a quick picture to share with the chat.)

Baby King started up at Eda, his tail wagging behind him.  He then scampered over to a curved stone, and lifted it up.  He grunted adorably as he carried it over to an incomplete stack and placed it on top.

“Did you make all these?” she asked as she knelt down and scratched the side of baby King’s head.  He leaned into the touch.  “What are you?”

“I assumed you were just some stray dog.  But then…”

Younger Eda heard a mix of hissing and chittering behind her.  She turned around, and saw some type of abomination made out of stone and what looked like exposed muscle tissue.  It loomed over them, and raised its arm.  The stone morphed into flesh, which turned into an axhead, just like what Warden Wrath was capable of.

“This…thing appeared.  It was going to kill us both, so I picked you up and bounced.”

Younger Eda scooped up baby King and ran.  The proto-abomination swung down, just barely missing them.  Eda hopped on Owlbert and took off out of the structure.  But as they emerged into the boiling rain, the proto-abomination created a bow with its arm and leg, and fired.

The flesh arrow struck baby King’s horn, breaking it off.  The impact threw them both from Owlbert, and they fell to the ground, with baby King knocked unconscious.  Eda quickly scooped him up and grabbed the broken horn.  She hopped back on Owlbert and headed away from the island as mist began to conceal it from sight.

“Against my better judgement, I took you home with me.”

The image transitioned, showing the living room of the Owl House.

“I had gotten you the collar ‘cause, well, that’s what you do when you get a new pet.  But then…”

Younger Eda peaked into the living room, and spotted baby King building more stacks.  Though now he was using anything he could get his paws on, mainly her human junk reserves.  She smiled as she watched him put the severed head of a stuffed bear on a stack made up of a garbage bag and a book.

Eda chuckled.  “Oh, look at you.  A king amongst his subjects.” she commented

Then to her surprise, baby King spoke.  “King. King!” he cheered.  Though he stumbled back and fell onto his butt.

Her eyes widened.  “It spoke.”  She then smiled gently and walked over to baby King.  “Yeah, that’s right, a king.”  She knelt down in front of him and booped his snout.  “You know what else kings do?  They command armies and eat delicious feasts.”

Baby King rolled around, letting out chattering sounds in his glee.

“And that’s how you got the idea that you were some despotic overlord.”

Eda finished and dispelled the images.  “Oh, but you were finally happy, so I kept playing along with it.”

King scooched away from her.  “Y-You’re lying.” he insisted.

“I’m not.” she replied.  She reached into her hair, and pulled out the broken fragment of King’s horn.

His eyes widened in horror.  He took it from Eda, and suddenly his mind was flooded with memories.  He saw himself as a baby standing on a rock overlooking all the small statues.  He saw himself catching a fly and eating it.

“My army… My feasts… My life…” He threw the horn fragment across the room.  “Ah, no!  Keep that thing away from me.  It’s messing with my head!” he shouted, his voice on the brink of tears.

Luz tried to help.  She reached over and placed a hand on his shoulder.  “King, it’s gonna be okay.”

He pulled away, leaping off the couch and onto the coffee table.  “Y-You’re all just making fun of me like usual, right?” he asked in a broken voice.  He began to wheeze and hyperventilate as he fully broke down crying.  “No.  No, no, no, no.  No, no, no, no.  No!”  he bolted off the table and ran up the stairs.

“King, wait!” Luz called out as she chased after him.

Eda remained sitting on the couch.   She clutched the hem of her dress.  “Did I really do the right thing?” she asked herself.

 

---

 

Luz saw the door to her room slam closed.  She ran over and tried to open it, but King had locked it.  She sighed, and slumped down against it.

“King, please open up.” Luz pleaded.

There was no response, the only sounds from inside were King’s sniffing and broken sobs.  Even though she couldn’t get in, she didn’t leave.  She just sat there, waiting for King.  After a few minutes, she heard the lock click open.  King slowly opened the door, and sat down next to her.

“Eda was right, wasn’t she?” he said.  “I was never king of anything.  I’m nobody.”

“You are somebody.” Luz responded.  “And I love that somebody very much, whether he’s my brother or not.”  As she said this, she wrapped her arm around him.  “I’m sorry I lied about what I believed.”

“Everyone lied.” he said, his voice cracking.  “And I was too caught up in the fantasy to realize it.”  He choked out a sob as tears fell from his eyes.  “I-I don’t know what to do, Luz.  How do I tell what’s real and what’s fake if my whole life has been a lie?”

“I…don’t know, King.” she admitted.  They remained sitting there, now in complete silence.  After a minute, Luz spoke again.  “I don't know what you’re going through.  The closest thing I’ve gone through was finding out I wasn’t human.  Which was shocking, but not like this.”

“But…you also know what it’s like for your whole world to be turned upside down, right?” he asked.

“...Yeah, I do.” she said.  “And it’s scary.  But we can both get through this, together.  You may not be the King of Demons, but you’ll always be the king of my heart.”

King wiped his tears.  “Thanks, Luz.  You…you’re a good surprise big sister.”

Luz smiled and pulled him into a hug.  “Well you’re the best surprise little brother I could ask for.”

They sat there for another minute, then they heard footsteps heading up the stairs.  They turned their heads, and saw Eda enter into the hall.

“King…” she said as she approached.  She kneeled down in front of the two.  “You’re mad at me.  I get it.  I would be too.  I’m so sorry, King” she turned her head away in shame.

“Boop.” King said as he poked Eda’s cheek.  “No more secrets, okay?  You have to promise me.”

“Only truths.” Eda said with a nod.  King smiled, then leapt into Eda’s arm for the parallel arm thing, a hug.  “I promise.”

 

---

 

Around 30 Minutes Later…

 

“Well it’s been a rough morning for both of you.” Eda exclaimed to herself.  

After emotions calmed, Eda made them all a late breakfast (given that it was practically noon) filled with King’s favorite foods.  She even broke out a box of his favorite human realm cookies.  Apparently, these were all foods Luz loved just as much.  She guessed it ran in the family.

And wasn’t that a twist she was still reeling from.  Luz and King were siblings.

‘Told you.  Both are our chicks.’ the Owl Beast gloated.

‘Quiet bird brai– Wait, you knew they were related?!’ Eda questioned.

‘Yes.  They have the same scent.’ it explained.

Eda groaned on the inside.  ‘Just because they’re siblings doesn’t–’

‘Denial.  The small one is your chick, the taller one is your chick's eggmate.  Both are our chicks.’ the Owl Beast insisted.

‘I’m not having this conversation with you.’ Eda thought back.

‘Why, because you’re losing?” was the response she received.

“So, Luz!” Eda said aloud to ignore the Owl Beast.  “How about I teach you some bard magic later?”

“Bard magic?” she asked with stars in her eyes.

Eda explained, "Magic through playing an instrument and using it as a focus.  It’s one of the only schools of magic you can learn without having to rely on your glyphs.  I can teach you how to play the Bell Cittern.”

“Yes!” Luz cheered.  

“What about me?” King asked.

“You want to learn how to play an instrument?” Eda asked in surprise.

“Since I’m not the King of Demons, I’ll be the King of Musicians!” he declared, pumping both his fists in the air.

Eda smiled.  “Okay, you goober.  I’ll see if I can find another–”

Yet before anything could happen, the ding of a notification went off on their phone/scrolls.

Anne: HELP, I GOT TRANSPORTED TO ANOTHER WORLD!

Notes:

So Luz's eventual look will just be the Titan Luz design but with wings. Currently she's that design but with her normal outfit, and without exposed bones or the longer hair, and her fangs are still smaller.

So Ceadeuses and Wingmen are more references. A Ceadeus is an Elder Dragon from Monster Hunter. It's a giant whale-like creature that has horns it dulls by scraping them on the ocean floor, causing tsunamis. Wingmen are based of Elemental Hero Flame Wingman from Yu-Gi-Oh!, who I just got a statue of.

And the truth is revealed. King knows he's not the King of Demons, but not that his memory of falling is real. Don't worry, Echoes Of The Past will still play out once King wants to seek out more answers.

Chapter 12: Survival Of The Anne-est

Chapter by Insecdroid

Summary:

After getting transported to a new dimension and stranded in the woods, the chat has to help Anne and Sasha survive.

Notes:

Shorter chapter, but again this was one of the first written, well the first half was.

Enjoy the chapter!

June 7th, 2020

 

Dipper: And that is why Ducktective is a show for all ages.

Phineas: It sounds great!

Isabella: I’ll add it to my watchlist!

Mabel: The creator is a genius!

Anne has logged on

Sasha has logged on

Marcye has logged on

Anne: HELP, I GOT TRANSPORTED TO ANOTHER WORLD!

Sasha: HELP, I GOT TRANSPORTED TO ANOTHER WORLD!

Marcy: I GOT TRANSPORTED TO ANOTHER WORLD!!!

Luz has logged on

Eda has logged on

Luz: Wait, what?!

Dipper: What happened?!

Anne: Well we opened the music box and then there was a bright light.  Then I awoke in some woods, and there was a dragonfly as big as I am!

Sasha: I awoke in a swamp and there’s a giant beetle nearby!

Marcy: Oh, well I woke up in a city that seems to be made of seashells!  It’s so fjaslkdsmp

Marcy has logged off

Anne: MAR-MAR!

Sasha: MARCY!

Eda: Calm down, I’m sure your friend is fine.  But for now you need to focus on yourselves.

Dipper: She’s right.  You're both lost in the woods, and need to focus on survival first and foremost.

Sasha: Wow, great plan.  EXCEPT WE DON’T HAVE ANY SURVIVAL TRAINING.

Isabella: Well we have Google.

Anne: No.  YOU have it, WE don’t.  Nothing besides the chat is working.

Anne: Wait, I just realized my mistake.  Sorry, I’m panicking.

Eda: That’s why you need to calm down and take stock of your situation first.

Luz: We’ll help you guys any way we can.

Phineas: Yeah!

Soos: We got you dudes.

Sasha: Good, now what do we do?

Anne: Hold on.  If the chat works then the other features should.

Anne: Let me try something…

Anne would like to video chat

 

---

 

Everyone quickly accepted the request.  As the screen turned on, it revealed a swamp filled with huge mushrooms far bigger than any on earth.  If that wasn’t enough to convince them, another giant dragonfly flew by.

“See!” Anne shouted as she turned the phone around to face her.

“This is…AMAZING!” Dipper shouted.

He pulled out a notebook and began to write down his observations.  Before he could get very far, Mable – who was sitting to his left – swatted the notebook out of her brother’s hand.

“Not the time!” Mabel chided.

“Either help us or–” Sasha began to say.  From behind her, the beetle she mentioned came up and sniffed her.  ‘Get away from me.’ she said, pushing it away.  It huffed, but backed off.

“Well, at least the beetles are friendly.” Isabella said.  ‘Maybe you could tame it and ride around like it's a horse.”

“...Gross.” Sasha responded.

“Well you ain’t gonna have much choice while surviving.” Eda interjected.  She wasn’t going to sugarcoat this for them.  “You’ll need to do everything you can to survive, and it will not be pleasant.”  Sasha groaned at that, and Eda glared at her.  “Or you could lay down and die.”

“Fine! Point taken!” she exclaimed.  “So what should we do first?”

“You should look for shelter.” Ferb said.

“Got it.”  Anne replied.  She scanned her surroundings for a moment before her eyes landed on a somewhat large hollowed out log.  She walked over and found that she could in fact crawl inside.  It was a snug fit, but it would work for now.

Meanwhile Sasha saw a cave nearby, and took refuge within. “Okay, now what?”

“Look for water.” Luz advised.  “You can survive without food for weeks, but only three days without water.”

“Water…right.” Sasha acknowledged Luz.  “I think I hear a stream in the distance.”

Anne was finally beginning to calm down, and was remembering the basic wilderness survival she’d seen on TV shows.  While some were...less than factual, there were a few that were repeated enough that they had to be true.

While Sasha headed towards the river she heard, Anne chose a direction and walked.  It was better than nothing.  At Phineas’s prompting, she used a sharp rock to carve arrows on trees so she could find her way back.

It took her a couple of minutes, but she was able to find a stream of water.  “Okay, water located.” she announced.  She leaned down and scooped up some with her hands and sipped it.  Only to nearly gag at the earthy taste it had.  She knew she couldn’t be picky…but it was still gross.

“I wouldn’t suggest drinking water without boiling it, dudes.” Soos said.

“But I doubt either of you have something to boil water in.” Eda added.  She was indeed right.  “Again, you have to make do with what you have.”

“That just leaves food.” Anne exclaimed.  She looked at the glowing mushrooms nearby.  “I wonder if these mushrooms are edible?”

“NO!” Dipper shouted.  “Under no circumstances should you eat mushrooms unless you have no other options.  They could be poisonous, or worse!”

“So what do I eat?” she asked.

“The inner bark of trees is edible.” Ferb spoke.

“...Is there anything else?” she asked nervously.

Behind Eda, Hooty snaked into view.  “Bugs are delicious!” Hooty exclaimed

“NOPE!” she shouted, shutting that down.  “So tree bark it is.”

Over the next few minutes as Anne returned to her shelter, Ferb walked her through which part of the tree was edible.  Once she arrived she followed the instructions on a nearby tree.  She took a bite, and nearly hurled.  It tasted horrible…but it was better than starving to death, or eating bugs.

“Ugh…that was awful.” she groaned.  She didn’t feel any fuller.

Isabella then interjected with, “I hate to bring this up…but what are the chances that these trees from another world are not edible?”

“...I’m gonna take my chances with the mushrooms.” Sasha responded.  She picked one up and bit into it.  “Okay could be–” she bent over and hurled.  “Nevermind.”

“Sash?” Anne asked in concern.

“DO NOT eat those mushrooms!” she shouted.  “I don’t know if they're poisonous but just the taste was enough to make me hurl!”

Anne groaned again.  “Well then what–” Before she could finish that thought, a loud screech echoed through the clearing.  Adrenaline kicked in, and she swiftly dove under the log to get out of sight.  “...what was that?” she whispered.

The sound of something HUGE breaking through the underbrush filled the air.  Then the ground began to shake as whatever it was stepped into the clearing.

“Can you see anything?” Phineas whispered.

Anne cautiously peaked out the opening, holding the phone up for the rest to see.  Just outside the hollow was a bright green praying mantis that stood over eight feet tall!

“Oh my god…” Anne whispered in shock and fear, barely loud enough for even her to hear.

No one else on the call dared to make a noise in fear of the monster hearing it and tracking down Anne.  A mantis that size would no doubt be looking for a meal, and Anne really didn’t want to become one.

She could hear her heart beating, and with every breath she feared the mantis would find her.  She dared not make a sound, nor any of the others.  The massive insect began to lower its head to peer into the hollow.  Its scythe-like claws moved to open the log–

“OH MY GOSH A BUG!  HOOOOOT!” Hooty shot towards Luz’s phone, slamming his face into it and flinging it across the room.

“Hooty, no!” the residents of the Owl House yelled.  Anne nearly had a heart attack as Hooty’s screaming came from the phone.  

The mantis’s head shot up.  It heard the loud hoot, and was looking for a predator.  It saw none, but still didn’t want to risk remaining where a predator could be heard.  It turned tail and ran off before the hidden bird could devour it.

Even after it left, there were a few tense moments of silence.  When it was evident the mantis wasn’t going to come back, Anne could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

“What…was…that?!” she whisper-shouted.

“Your stupid owl thing nearly got my best friend killed!” Sasha yelled.

“Megafauna.  This world has Megafauna.” Dipper said in horror.  “Though it was still a mantis, like we have here on earth, and birds will eat them.  Hooty must have scared it away.”

Eda repositioned the phone back to where it was.  “Hooty, if you ever do something like that again, then there will be no more tea parties with the coven scouts!” Eda yelled.  

“NOOOOOOOO!!” Hooty cried as he flopped around on the floor.  Then he noticed something off camera.  “OH MY GOSH A BUG!” he shouted as he chased after it.

“...I have questions about him.” Sasha said in a disgusted voice,

“We all do.” Dipper said.

Anne slumped down against the side of the log.  That was way stressful!  “At least things can’t get worse.” Anne sighed.

“WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!” everyone shouted.  Except for Ferb, who just facepalmed.

“Oh come on!  I’m stranded in another dimension and was nearly eaten by a mega-sized Praying Mantis!  What could possibly–” Anne began, then a sudden burst of blue light engulfed her.  She felt her body…shake?  Which caused her to accidentally drop the phone.  It all happened in a few seconds, but when it was over she found the hollow a lot roomier.  “What just happened?” she asked aloud, though her tongue felt…weird.

She bent down to pick up her phone…only to see blue skin.  At any other time she would panic, but right now she was too exhausted from the day’s events to care that much.  As she picked up the phone, she felt something on her fingers that seemed to get a vice grip on the small piece of metal.

As she turned the phone back around to face her, she said, “Yeah I jinxed it.  My skin is blue now, but things could be worse– Why are you all looking at me like that?  It’s just blue skin.”

“Uhh...Anne…look at your reflection.” Sasha cautiously said.

A cold chill went down her spine as she heard this.  She nervously opened her camera app and turned on the forward facing one.  The sight she was met with was…surreal.

Staring back at her was a blue skinned anthropomorphic frog with bushy dark brown hair, wearing her school uniform.  Her brain had trouble actually coming to terms with what was happening.  Not until she repeatedly blinked, and raised her free hand – which she now noticed had only three fingers and a thumb – did she fully realize what had happened.

She was a frog.  A walking talking frog.

“I– What even– …HOW?!” she shouted, throwing her hands up in exasperation.  She went back to the still ongoing call, and stared blankly at the others.

“Anne…are you–” Mable began, but she was cut off.

“I’m going to bed.  This is all just a bad trip from eating that tree bark, and I will wake up in the morning like normal.” she said emotionlessly, then immediately closed out of the call and app.

Despite her words, she didn't fully believe them.  She was a frog now…but Frog Anne could be a problem for tomorrow Anne.  For now, she promptly fell backwards and passed out.  

 

---

 

At The Opposite End Of Frog Valley…

 

“Anne!” Sasha yelled.  She’d turned into a bipedal frog, and then immediately gotten off the call.  

“Calm down kid, before you attract something nasty.” Eda chastised.  “I’m sure she’ll be all right.”

Sasha wanted to yell at the woman, but bit her tongue.  Doing that would accomplish nothing besides further alienating herself from these people.  While she wouldn’t have cared before, now they were her only link to the outside world.

“Well then what do you think I should–” she was cut off by a yawn.  “D-Do?” she finished.

“Sleep.” Dipper said.  “If you want to survive, then you should take any rest you can get.”

“So you just want me to abandon Anne and Marcy?” she snapped.

“No, but you can’t help anyone if you become mantis chow.” Ferb spoke.

She hated that they were right.  She groaned.  “Ffffffiiine!”

She ended the call.  She hated taking orders from these people, she was the one who gave orders!

The large stag beetle scuttled towards her.  It sat down next to her, and she sighed.  She was too tired push it out, and it was friendly enough.  At least it didn’;t seem like it would eat her.

“Fine, you can stay.” she grumbled.  The beetle surprisingly understood what she was saying and let out a chittering sound that she guessed meant it was content.  “Huh, you’re not actually that ugly up close.” she commented, and it hissed in offense.

Suddenly, the crack of thunder split the air.  Outside the cave, hard rain began to pour down.  Sasha breathed a sigh of relief that she had found this cave.

She tried to roll over and fall asleep, but her mind kept racing, preventing her from nodding off.  She kept thinking back to this chat.  She hated it, it was changing things between her friend group!  Their dynamic was already perfect, but now these people were telling Anne that she wasn’t actually her friend!

‘Stop it brain, think about something else.’ she thought.

Her mind turned to her parents.  They would be worried… Oh who was she kidding, they probably wouldn’t realize she was missing for weeks.  And that was a generous timeline.  Things had already been bad enough with them, but now they were getting divorced.

What a horrible way it was to have started her best friend’s birthday.  They didn’t even start the process then, they were nearly done actually!  That’s just when they bothered to remember to tell her.

She was an after thought, just like always, except somehow it was worse now!  It caused some…ugly thoughts to resurface.

‘How do you even know they wanted you?’ that insidious voice in the back of her head asked.  ‘They’ve never bothered to raise you.  Why do you think they even wanted you?  They didn’t, you were just an accident!’

“UUUHHHGGG!” she shouted, startling the Beetle.

‘Shut up, Sasha!’ she told herself.  ‘So what if that’s true.  You don’t need them.  You only need Anne and Marcy.’

‘You made Anne steal the box.  They’re trapped here, and it is all your fault.’ the voice spoke.

“Quiet!” she snapped.  She sat up, and sighed.  She wasn’t getting to sleep anytime soon, no matter how tired she was.  ‘Anne had to steal the box, or else…or else everything would be gone.’

She had to control everything!  Because everything she couldn’t control only brought pain.  So Anne had to steal the box, because if she couldn’t control her best friends then she had NOTHING!  Did…did it make her a bad friend–

OH WOW, she really didn’t like where this thought process was heading.  She shoved it down into a tiny box where it would never see the light of day.

Not that any of that mattered at this point.  They were stuck in a world with killer bugs, Anne turned into a bipedal frog, and Marcy immediately went MIA.  They need to escape!

“Don’t worry girls, I’ll find you and together we’ll get out of here.” she vowed.  She would find them, and protect them, even if it was the last thing she did.

A pink light engulfed her vision.  She felt like her body suddenly bloated.  The stag beetle raised its head, and tilted it in confusion.

Sasha stood, and she felt both shorter and heavier.  “Oh god, what now?” she asked, her tongue felt like it weighed twenty pounds.  After what happened to Anne…she hoped she was wrong.

She walked to the edge of a cave and started down into a puddle.  Even through the raindrops hitting and displacing the water, she was able to make out her reflection.  She saw a pink toad with blonde hair tied in a ponytail.

“AAAHHHRRR!” she roared in a mix of exasperation, horror, and rage.  After getting that out of her system, she groaned, “This sucks.”

 

---

 

In Newtopia…

 

Marcy hoped Anne and Sasha were alright.  She wished she could contact them, buuuut…

Her phone rested next to her, completely dead.  She’d been lucky it hadn’t been destroyed when she fell down that flight of stairs.  That really…really long flight of stairs.  Oh that had not been fun.

Thankfully that nice couple had found her and taken her to the hospital…after they stopped screaming about the tailless newt with a face bump.  The doctor had told her she had a minor fracture in her left leg, but she should be healed up in a week.

After that information, she’d opened her phone to text Anne and Sasha to say she was okay, only for it to immediately die.  UGH, she had forgotten to charge it last night!  She’d have to look for a way to recharge it here.

Well, with little else to do, there was something she had wanted to try.  She’d seen the light spell Luz had made through drawing a glyph.  She wondered if it would have worked back on earth, but here was also a good place to try it.

Marcy grabbed her journal and tore a blank page out from the end.  She sketched the glyph onto the paper, and tapped it when finished.

…Nothing.  Well that was disappoint–

Suddenly, the paper sparked with a spec of green light.  It imploded on itself, becoming a miniature green sun.

“I just did magic.” she said in awe.  The light spell floated in front of her for a moment, then faded away.  “Huh, there seems to be a delay here.  Also, this one is green instead of yellow…”

She wrote a mile a minute in her journal.  Vaguely she felt a shift, but she was too locked in on her impromptu research to care. 

She had so many questions, and the moment she got her phone working she would be asking Luz all of them.  Well, after making sure Sashy and Annabanana were alright.  Still, for now she could at least write down her findings.

It wasn’t until she heard someone enter her room that she snapped out of her focus.

“Oh, hey.” she waved at the fancy newt who’d entered.  “I’m Marcy Wu.  Who are you?”

“I am sorry, Miss Wu.  I believe I have the wrong room.” the newt said.  “I was looking for a “hideous monster” that was brought here.”

“That’s me!” she said, pointing at herself with green hands– GREEN HANDS?!  She turned her head to the side and saw a green newt with her hair staring back.  “Oh…wow.  I wonder if this is permanent?”  As she questioned it, she shifted back into a human.  “Oh I guess not.”

“...Well it seems I have the right room after all.” the newt said.  “Greetings.  I am Lady Olivia, advisor to his royal highness King Andrias Leviathan, peacekeeper of a thousand years and first of his name.  And my lord would like to speak to you.”

…Today was officially the BEST DAY EVER!

Notes:

I wonder if anyone caught what I was doing with the transformations. I don't know how subtle I was being.

I decided for the glyphs to work in Amphibia, and I do have a reason on how they can. Now while they aren't enabled by their calamity powers, they are powered by them. BUT the glyphs are of the Titan and thus need the Titan's power present to even have a sliver of a chance at working.

Also as shown by Marcy, they can change back, and Marcy seems to have it the easiest.

Well see you next time for an attempt at an original Phineas And Ferb Episode.

Chapter 13: Ferb, I Know What Else We Are Going To Do Today

Chapter by Insecdroid

Summary:

Phineas and Ferb attempt to build an interdimensional portal to rescue Anne and her friends.

Notes:

I hope this is good. I did my best to make an original Phineas and Ferb episode, and I feel some parts definitely work better than others.

June 7th, 2020

 

🎵Ba dum daaaaa….🎵

 

It was late afternoon, and Phineas and Ferb were sitting under the tree in their backyard.  Perry was resting between the two boys, while blueprints with sketches of a portal the ground.  In front of them, their phones were opened to the multiversal chat.

 

Luz: So you really think you can build a portal to rescue Anne, Sasha, and Marcy?

Phineas: Yeah.  We’re just putting the final touches on as we type.

Dipper: Okay, but how do you know where to connect the portal too?

Phineas: We know someone that can help with that. 

Eda: So you just need to build the portal first?

Isabella: Nope.  I will start the construction along with the Fireside Girls.  Then when they return we can finish it together.

Hooty: Why can’t YOU get the person you need help from, while THEY build the portal?

Phineas: Because there are more of them, so it will go faster.

Mabel: Why was Hooty the one to ask a sensible question?

Hooty: I ate a Heron once.

King: And he’s back to his usual self.

Hooty: Mmmm, Heron.  Do you think Anne will bring me back any Heron?

Eda: Hooty, Herons are extinct.

Hooty: Awwwww…

 

A second later, Isabella walked through the back gate.  “Hi Phineas.  So, are the blueprints ready?”

“Just about,” he replied.  He turned to Ferb.  “Ferb?”

Ferb took out a pencil and erased the number three from an equation.  He then gave the thumbs up.

“Okay, they’re ready,” he answered.

“Then let’s get this started!” Isabella cheered.

 

---

 

Inside, up in her room, Candace was laying on her bed as she talked to her best friend, Stacy.  “–and the glass sphere somehow followed me inside the elevator!” she complained.  It had not been a good morning.  “Then it chased me out, and when it crashed into me I got old gumballs stuck in my mouth.  I’m still picking out pieces!”

As she said this, she picked her teeth, pulling out a tiny wad of gum.  She shuddered in disgust.

“Candace,” She looked towards her door, and saw her mom standing there.  “Your father and I are going out.  You're in charge while we’re gone.”

“Okay, mom!” she replied.  She immediately ran to her window that overlooked the backyard and began to shout out to her brothers.  “Mom says I’m in charge–”

Then she noticed that only Isabella and the Fireside Girls were there.  Isabella looked up and waved to her.

“Hi, Candace!” she said.

“Where are Phineas and Ferb?” she shouted angrily.  She then scanned the backyard, and in a calmer tone asked, “And where’s Perry?”

 

---

 

Perry walked into the kitchen.  Seeing no one around, he sprung up on two legs and put on his signature fedora.  He grabbed the handle of a cabinet, then pulled the entire cabinet to the side to reveal a hole in the ground.  He leapt down into it, while also pulling the entrance to his lair shut.

He dropped down into his chair, and activated the monitor.  Major Monogram appeared, staring down at him.

“Good afternoon, Agent P.” he said.  “It seems that Doctor Doofenshmirtz is up to something again.  Which is odd, as usually he only tries one evil scheme per day.”

A picture of a radioactive barrel appeared on the screen, and Perry’s eyes widened.  That was followed by a picture of a bookstore.

“He purchased two barrels full of nuclear waste, and paid a visit to A Local Bookstore.  Pure evil!” Monogram stated.  Perry’s gaze narrowed into one of un-amusement.  “Okay, getting books from A Local Bookstore might not be evil, but no good can come of two hundred pounds of nuclear waste.  Get to the bottom of this.”

Perry saluted, and stood up to leave, but Major Monogram called out to him.

“One more thing before you go,” Perry stopped and turned back.  “We’ve been monitoring this chat that Doofenshmirtz added you to.  Keep an eye on things, and if you can, try to get those people out of the cult they are clearly in.  Dismissed, Agent P.”

Perry saluted, and let out a chatter in place of a “Yes, sir!”  He ran over to his hovercar and ascended out of his lair.  Time to see what Doctor Doofenshmirtz was up to now.

 

---

 

Down the street, Phineas and Ferb arrived at their destination.  Phineas reached up and rang the doorbell.  After a few seconds, the door opened to reveal their friend: Baljeet Tjinder.

“Oh, hello Phineas and Ferb.” he greeted them.

“Heya Baljeet.  We need your help with making an interdimensional portal to save our friend.” Phineas said, just dropping everything on him at once.  “But we need help with some of the calculations so it doesn’t just open  a portal in the middle of space and suck us all through.”

“An Interdimensional portal?  Count me in!” he gleefully exclaimed.

“Then let’s not waste another moment.” Phineas said, and they headed back towards the backyard.

 

---

 

🎵Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated🎵

 

As Perry flew over the building, he leapt off his hover car and landed on the balcony.  Doofenshmirtz looked up from building his current inator as he saw his nemesis land.

“Ahh, Perry the Platypus.  How unexpected.  And by unexpected I- I mean unexpected.  What are you doing here?” he asked, clearly confused.  

Perry pointed to the inator.  

“Oh that?  No, that’s not for evil.  Besides, I already tried my evil scheme for the day. This is my Interdimensional Transporter-intor!” he explained.  “I’m building it so we can send items to our fellow chat-ees.  Or would that be chat-olios?  Something to think about.”  

Doofenshmirtz pulled out a shopping bag with the logo of A Local Bookstore.  The logo was a book with the words of the brand “A Local Bookstore” arching over the top.  It was a very confusing name given they were a national brand.

“B-But see here, I already bought these for them.” he pulled out three copies of the book ‘Escaping a Cult for Dummies.’  “If anything, I’m doing good right now.  You should help me finish my inator.”

Perry shrugged.  He was right, this was a good thing.  Though he would probably find a way to use the machine for evil later.  So they might as well get these books to Lilith, Hunter, and Steve before then.  Perry gave Doofenshmirtz the thumbs up and chattered his affirmation to help.

“Excellent!  Then we’ve got a lot of work to do!” he said.  He ushered Perry further in.  “Come on, I think I have a spare blowtorch and welding mask around here somewhere.”

 

---

 

In the backyard, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Baljeet, and the Fireside Girls were putting the finishing touches on their interdimensional portal.  It was a metal ring on a platform, hooked up to a terminal and big lever that each sat five feet away.  They finished it pretty quickly, as usually it took them a montage.

“Hmmm, I don’t know.” Phineas said.  “It feels like something is missing.”

Ferb took out a button and recessed it.  Robotic arms appeared from the ground with cans of spray paint.  In a flurry of color, they painted the dull grey ring a nice shade of orange.  Then they retracted back into the ground.

“Perfect!  Nice touch, Ferb.” Phineas exclaimed.  Everyone else murmured in agreement.  “Now let’s fire this baby up!”

“Okay!” Baljeet said,  He moved over to the console and fiddled with the knobs and dials as he perfected the coordinates.  “If my calculations are correct, then this portal will now open to an earth-like planet.  Though without a specific location of the dimension, I cannot guarantee it will open to where your friend is.”

“Well then we’ll just have to hope for the best.” Phineas exclaimed.  “Light her up, Ferb!”

Ferb nodded, then pulled the lever.  Sparks of gold flew out of the center of the ring, then burst out into a swirling vortex.

“It works!” Baljeet exclaimed.

“Come on, show us Anne!” Isabella said hopefully.

The portal expanded out, revealing what lay in the dimension beyond!  It…was a store selling pens.  They were nice pens, but something told them that this wasn’t where Anne was trapped.

“Let’s try it again.” Phineas said.  “Ferb?”

Ferb pulled the lever once again, closing and reopening the portal.  Once again it opened to the same place.  He tried again, but the same result happened.

Baljeet scratched his head.  “Hmm…let me try something.” he said as he altered his calculations ever so slightly.  “Try it now, Ferb.”  Ferb pulled the lever, and this time the portal opened to show a world that was filled with bright pink plants.  “It’s just as I thought.  This could be a problem”

“What’s wrong, Baljeet?” Isabella asked as the kids surrounded his terminal.

“Take a look at this.  By my calculations, this is where earth is,” A model of earth appeared on screen.  “And this is where we’ve seen.” Two more models of planets appeared next to the one of earth.  “Now, take a look at this.” 

A line appeared, encompassing the three planets and looping back around to their dimension.  The now formed ring began to display energy flowing through it clockwise.  

“The pathway between dimensions runs clockwise.  It would take tremendous power to open a gateway directly there.” Baljeet explained.  “So, your only choice is to go clockwise, checking every one as the wrong one manually before you get to the correct one.”

“Well gang, let’s get to looking!” Phineas declared.

 

---

 

“And then the theater flooded and I was thrown outside!  At least the water washed away most of the old gum and toilet paper.” Candace said, finishing her story.  Suddenly, a pungent BO filled the air.  “Ewww.  What are they doing back there?!”

Candace stormed over to her window and opened it.  She looked down on her brothers, and saw a massive metal ring taking up the majority of their front yard.

“PHINEAS!  FERB!  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” she shouted while plugging her nose.

“Oh, hey, Candace.” Phineas greeted.  As he did, Ferb closed the portal that led to some giant in his boxer.  “We made an interdimensional portal to search for our friend.”

“Oh-ho-ho.  I’m telling Mom– Wait, your friend?” she asked.  “How did your friend get lost in another universe?!  Did you do that?”

“No, they opened a music box, and ended up in a swamp world.” Phineas clarified.

“In a world filled with giant bugs!” Isabella added.

“We have to save them!” Phineas finished.  “You should help us, Candace.”

Candace was momentarily conflicted.  She wanted to bust her brothers for building an interdimensional gateway.  Yet if she did and they actually got busted this time, then that would put their friend at risk.

“...Fine, but when we find your friend, I’m telling Mom!” she said.

Phineas smiled.  “Great!  Then let’s continue the search!”

 

---

 

“Aaaaand, FINISHED!” Doofenshmirtz declared.  “Behold, the Interdimensional Transporter-intor!”

Perry raised a brow.  Doofenshmirtz looked back at him.

“What it’s not the same without the presentation flare.” he defended.  Perry shrugged, conceding the argument.  Doofenshmirtz took out his phone.  “Now let’s test this baby out!”

 

Doofenshmirtz: @Lilith @Hunter @Steve Hey I got something for you guys!

Lilith: What is it now?

Doofenshmirtz: Just be ready to catch!

Hunter: …what?

 

Doofenshmirtz pulled the lever down on his inator.  The laser fired a beam at one of the books, and hit it head on.  In a flash of green light, the book disappeared from its location.

 

Doofenshmirtz: Did it work?

Hunter: Did what– WHAT THE HECK?!

Perry: I think it worked.

Hunter: ‘Escaping a Cult for Dummies.’  WE’RE NOT IN A CULT!

Pacifica has logged on

Pacifica: Yes you are.

Pacifica has logged off

Doofenshmirtz: HA!

Perry: Well Doctor Doofenshmirtz got one for all of you, so you can judge for yourself…though you are in a cult.

Lilith: I must concur with the Golden– with Hunter.  …But could I still please have one.

Hunter: HEAD WITCH!

Lilith: It’s a book from the Human Realm, I need it!  I can’t go to my sister because she’ll mock me, and upcharge me.

Doofenshmirtz: If it means that much to you, then I think I have a few old books around here I was going to get rid of anyways.

Lilith: …I will take them all.

Steve: What was that really high pitched sound I just heard?

Hunter: I heard it too.

Lilith: It was…the pipes.

Steve: Again?!  Steve JUST fixed them last week.

Doofenshmirtz: Well here come books for all of you!  Perry the Platypus?

Perry: You man the inator, I’ll grab the books.

Doofenshmirtz: Let’s do this thing!

 

---

 

Gotta Get ‘Em Home (Gotta Get Gone)

 

🎵Just a normal day of fighting against an undead mummy,🎵

The portal opened to a dimension that’s just a massive alien baby in a bathtub.  Ferb shook his head, followed by Baljeet opening another portal. 

🎵Got back to home and were already done by Two–Thirty,🎵

The next one opened to reveal planets smaller than the group.  There was no pull from the air being sucked into the vacuum of space, but they quickly closed the portal before that could happen.

🎵Our friends got stranded in an alternate dimension,🎵

Isabella pointed as a toad appears, but as it turns around they see…very…alluring…eyes…  Also it isn’t anthropomorphic.  They moved onto the next portal, leaving Hypno Toad behind.

🎵Now we gotta rescue them using our brand new machine,🎵

They spotted a big skull with horns, and Candace screamed as she saw it.  “Oh, this must be the Boiling Isles.” Phineas said.  “Though since Luz already had a portal, there was no need to keep any information about this place.  NEXT!

 

🎵Spent half an hour building a portal to other dimensions,🎵

They open a portal and see other dimension versions of Phineas and Ferb fighting on a space station with laser swords.  Before they can get dragged in, they move to the next universe.

🎵Wondering where our platypus had gone yet again,🎵

The next portal opens to the Mystery Shack, but there’s no Dipper and Mabel.  Instead they see Soos hanging out with four teens.  There is a boy with bushy green hair, a girl with a chestnut brown bob, a boy with red/white hair split right down the middle and a burn scar over an eye, and a girl with pink hair, pink skiing, and pink horns.  Obviously it's the wrong dimension, so they keep going.

🎵Turned on our portal, tearing a rift through space-time,🎵

They see Anne!  They found– wait, why is she an adult?  This was the wrong reality yet again, but it also seemed to be the future.  She was hanging out with two other women who appeared to be Sasha and Marcy.  They move on from the reality.

🎵Yet all that we found was a store with fancy pens,🎵

In this dimension they spot themselves fighting alongside Spider-Man, Iron Man, Hulk, and Thor.  Then the scene shifts to show Luz fighting against Carnage.  Huh, Marvel was real in this universe.  Cool.  Unfortunately, it’s still not right.

 

🎵We thought that we could get ‘em home using our portal🎵

There’s all of them, but chibi-ified.

🎵But quantum physics wouldn’t let us rebound,🎵

And now all of them, but anime.

🎵We’ll save them from the Megafauna,🎵

That’s just Valhalla. Next!

🎵Even if it takes long-a,🎵

And there’s a blonde man with cat ears and a tail fighting a dragon in space.  Still wrong.

🎵Because now we’re going the long way rou-ou-ound,🎵

 

The music came to an abrupt halt as they went to the next dimension.  From out of the portal stepped a man clad in a dark coat with a mask covering his face.  He looked down at all of them.

“Aren’t you kids a little young to be exploring the multiverse?” he asked, his voice being filtered through his mask.

“Yes, yes we are.” Phineas answered.

“...Well you should proceed with caution,” he said.  “Alas I had hoped for this to be the dimension I was searching for but…” He observed them all again.  “No one has body proportions like this where I’m from.”

“Well good luck on your quest.” Ferb said.

“Thanks, kid.” With that, the man stepped back into the portal.

“Nice guy.” Phineas commented.  Then the music began once more.

 

🎵We gotta get ‘em home, baby, get home, home, gotta get ‘em home,🎵

A world where nuclear warfare wiped out most life.

🎵One dimension after another,🎵

A world where bipedal animals lived in modern society, mainly ducks.

🎵We gotta get ‘em home, baby, get home, home, gotta get ‘em home,🎵

 A world where monsters walked the planet as just another part of the Ecosystem.

🎵The girl scouts, our neighbor, my sister and brother and meeeee,🎵

A world where plants fought zombies.

🎵We g-g-gotta get ‘em home.🎵

A world where they were in an Arthurian legend.

All wrong, but they kept searching.

 

---

 

Doofenshmirtz giggled as he put the next book in front of the inator.  “This is so much more fun than donating them!”  He zapped it to Lilith.  “Next one, Perry the Platypus!”

Perry picks up a book with the title ‘How To Help Your Child Adjust After Divorce.’ Doofenshmirtz quickly snatched it out of Perry’s hands.

“A-Actually, I’m holding onto that one.  Just in case.” he said.  Perry smiled.  He then handed him a book on the history of automobiles.  “Perfect!” he said as he placed it in front of the inator.  “Aaand, ZAP!”

The ray shot out and hit the book.  Then, the inator began to tremble and spark, and the dial to designate location began to spin like a propeller.  Doofenshmirtz and Perry looked at each other nervously.

“That’s uhh…yeah, run for cover Perry the Platypus.” he said in a casual voice.

He then immediately screamed and dove behind his couch.  The inator shot off beams that flew off the balcony and hit random objects in Doofenshmirtz’s penthouse.  A painting, stool, and a garbage can were all hit.  A shiny metal pot was also hit, but the beam reflected off and hit a poster.

Seeing this, Agent P leapt into action.  He grabbed the pot and rushed towards the inator, using the pot to deflect shots.  When he was close enough, he leapt up on top of the Interdimensional Transporter-intor.  He slammed his palm down on the self-destruct button, then began to flee.

Yet before he could escape, two final beams were fired.  One soared off into the horizon.  The other hit Perry and sent him hurtling into a random dimension.

A second later, an explosion engulfed the Interdimensional Transporter-intor and it was destroyed.

“Uhg, that’s a relief.  Thank you Perry the Plat–” he looked around, not seeing the secret agent anywhere.  “He just left!  Well that’s rude!”

Doofenshmirtz walked around his couch and flopped down on it.  “I think I’m going to avoid other dimension-inators for a while.”  He suddenly and abruptly sat upright.  He pulled out a pen and pad of paper from his labcoat.  “Though that is a good name for the next one I build.”

 

---

 

In the backyard, the group were still flipping through dimensions.  It was dark out now, and they were exhausted.

“...No.” Phineas groaned as the…he thought they were in the multiple hundreds by now.  “Next.”

The next portal opened, and Perry walked out of it.

“Oh, there you are Perry.” Candace yawned.

“Next.” Isabella said.

The portal opened to show rolling green hills.  Still it was all wrong!  This wasn’t a swamp.

“Next.” Baljeet said, then he yawned.

Before they could move on to the next dimension, a green beam shot down and hit the portal.  It folded in on itself and disappeared.

“...What just happened?” Candace asked gobsmacked.

“We let Anne down.” Phineas lamented.

Candace faceplanted to the ground out of exhaustion.  “I should have gone for the bust.”

 

---

 

On the rolling fields the portal last glimpsed – known to the locals as the ‘Ruins of Disaster’ – a giant red mantis chased down its prey.  They had found the right dimension after all…just not the right location.

 

---

 

Phineas: Well we tried, but we couldn’t find the right dimension.

Luz: It was a long shot, even for you guys.

Isabella: I still feel like we failed Anne and her friends.

Dipper: I mean, you did better than any of us could have.

Phineas: Well we had some help.  Oh, which reminds me!

Baljeet Tjinder has been added to the chat

Baljeet: So all of you are from this earth?

Eda: Except for King, Hooty and myself.

King: And Luz, kind of.

Luz: I was still born on earth, King.

Mabel: Stan was murdered!

Eda: WHAT?!

Luz: WHAT?!

Hooty: HOOT!

King: WHAT?!

Phineas: WHAT?!

Ferb: WHAT?!

Isabella: WHAT?!

Baljeeet: WHAT?!

Soos: MR PINES!  NOOOOOOO!!!!

Dipper: His wax statue was “murdered”.  Someone broke in and took the head.

Mabel: My Mabel-piece has been desecrated!

Luz: Never scare us like that again.  Eda just had her curse flare up.

Mabel: Sorry, Ms. Eda!

Eda: It’s fine, kid.  That’s what the elixirs are for.

Baljeet: Are there any suspects?

Dipper: Everyone at the opening.  They were all upset.

Mabel: And the police are useless.  They didn’t even investigate before calling it unsolvable!

Soos: Sherif Blubs and Deputy Durland are just like that.  I don’t think they’ve ever done their jobs, dudes.

Eda:  How are they worse than the Coven Guards?

Soos: I mean, at least they’re not evil.

Dipper: Anyways, WE’RE gonna solve this case…tomorrow.

Mabel: WAX STAN WILL BE AVENGED!

 

Notes:

I'm not that proud of the changed lyrics, but this was also my first time rewriting a song, so I'll give myself some leniency.

All the references during the song:

The Song Itself - Gotta Get Gone, from Phineas and Ferb Across the 2nd Dimension the Video Game

First world (Pen Store) - Fifth World (Planets) - 2nd Dimension and the following ones from Brand New Reality
Hypno Toad - Futurama
Phineas and Ferb fighting with laser swords - Phineas and Ferb Star Wars
Teens at the Mystery Shack - Academia Falls, a GF/MHA Crossover by Skye_Star
Marvel Universe - Phineas and Ferb Mission Marvel & TOH/GF/AMP/Marvel Fan Fic The Light Of The Abyss by Rater202
Chibi-fied - Disney Chibi-verse
Blonde cat boi fighting a dragon - my other fic for Final Fantasy XIV, Fire As Shadows Clash
Mystery man - Yes that was Ford, yes I am cruel for this, no I have no regrets
World where nuclear war wiped it out - Fallout
World of bipedal animals - Ducktales (2017)
World where monsters walk the planet (Monster Hunter)
World where plants fought zombies - Plants Vs. Zombies
World where they're an Arthurian legend - Excali-ferb

And Baljeet is here since the first Baljeet focused episode is Unfair Science Fair. Buford and Candace will be joining soon as well.

Notes:

Remember to leave Kudos and Comments, as that's how I fuel my motivation to write this fic.