Work Text:
Seungmin's life was a joke.
A big joke.
A very bad joke.
Someone up there really enjoyed messing with him. And that entity, or whatever deity, couldn't allow Seungmin to have a simple, calm and boring life at the late age of twenty eight. That's why they've sent him Lee Felix, the little demon. To be completely fair, they had met years ago during college, when the blond moved in one afternoon –carrying a lot of plushies and a bright smile– and since then Lee Felix had carved himself a spot on Seungmin's boring life: dragging him to frat parties and all types of activities that otherwise Seungmin wouldn't put himself through.
With time, Seungmin had learned to see through his friend's angelic face, through the sweet words and the apparently innocent way Felix worked his magic.
Lee Felix was a little demon: chaos enabler and chaos enjoyer. So maybe Seungmin should've been a bit less trusting of the way his friend slipped a link into their kakao chat without further explanation. But Seungmin was riding the bus on his way home, tired after a long day in the office, and Felix was always sending him links to all kind of stuff – tiktoks, new video games they could try, cute merch or just stuff he was planning to buy for himself–, and Seungmin didn't think twice nor waited for Felix to send an context of what this was.
No, because his life was a joke, so he clicked the link while he was still on the night bus, earphones on just to cancel outside noise, and waited for twitter to load on his browser –much to Felix's disapproval, he wasn't on the app. It took a second to open the tweet but the video played automatically and Seungmin almost dropped his phone when a moan came through his earphones: loud, clear, and a little breathless.
He felt his face burning hot in embarrassment and quickly went back to kakao talk, hoping the lady sitting behind him hadn't seen that and needing an explanation.
Seungmin: WHY WOULD YOU SEND ME THAT??
Lix: ?? it showed on my tl and I thought you would like to see it ^^
Seungmin wasn't even gonna question the type of spaces Felix was on online because he knew his friend was chronically on his phone and he'd seen –by mistake– the type of things his friend bought and kept in a very accessible drawer next to his bed. The question was why would he think that Seungmin, out of all people, would like to see a video of some random guy's waist being held as he was being fucked. Well, the guy was probably being fucked, because the video was cropped, Seungmin didn't read the caption and he didn't stay long enough.
Seungmin: why would I????
Lix: wdym why??
Lix: bc that's literally jisung ??
Jisung? Han Jisung? Like his roommate's boyfriend and his coworker Jisung? That Han Jisung?
Seungmin blinked at his phone and read Felix's text again, just to make sure his eyes were not failing him. He adjusted his glasses and once again made a mistake as he opened the picture Felix sent right away as proof: a blurry screenshot zoomed into the right side of the guy’s abdomen, where the hand was holding his waist. And there Seungmin read the same words he had read before painted on someone's skin: Han Jisung's skin.
His cheeks felt warm and he couldn't pay attention to Felix's following texts because the bus made it to his stop and Seungmin hurried to get off. He slipped through the door and hopped down just before it closed and the bus took off again.
The walk from there to his apartment building was short, barely five minutes up a small hill, and then three floors upstairs. The images were still in his head, blurry and a bit confusing: hands on a tiny waist and dark ink painting the side. There was no way it was Jisung's tattoo, right? Seungmin had seen the tattoo a handful of times: that time they went to the pool, a couple times while Jisung made himself way too comfortable on Seungmin's couch and his shirt slipped up enough to show some of the ink, and whenever he used the bathroom at Seungmin's place and came out topless.
But it couldn't be Jisung. There was no way Minho's clumsy, nerdy, and incredibly goofy boyfriend was the one in that video. Seungmin tried to convince himself –not sure why he even needed to be convinced. There was no way Jisung would upload a vid –cropped or not, blurry or not– of him getting fucked and sounding like that. The sound was vivid in his ears and Seungmin could still feel his cheeks burn as he moved upstairs. Nah, there was no way the guy who worked with him and Seungmin sat with everyday for lunch, the one who always pouted and sulked when Seungmin was mean, was the one in that video. It was surely a terrible coincidence, someone with a similar tattoo.
He fumbled with his key for a second before managing the door open and stepping inside: the light of the living room was dim but the kitchen was fully on and the warm smell of food made his stomach grumble. His phone vibrated in his pocket again, tired of being ignored, and Seungmin opened it while kicking his shoes cleanly to the side and switching to his slippers with puppy ears –Minho had bought them because, allegedly, they were at a good price.
He sighed and scrolled through Felix's texts, eyes quickly scanning his friend trying to convince him it was Jisung: he had gone to the profile, checked the icon, the username, other posts. He had collected it all and sent it to Seungmin, who scrolled through it as he dragged his feet inside. And then he froze, his thumb stopping over the last picture, a mirror selfie where the guy's whole torso was showing as the guy bit on his top. His face was out of the frame, but pecs on display, tattoo clean and clear for Seungmin's to see. And what was worse: it was Minho's mirror.
His mind glitched with the information and he missed Minho calling him from where he was cooking dinner.
"…are you listening to me?" Minho said, like he was repeating himself.
Seungmin came back to his senses and fumbled with the phone, hurriedly turning the screen off as his puppy wide eyes met Minho's, who had stopped stirring whatever he had in the pan, to glare at him. His blinked towards his best friend, knowing he was looking at something he definitely shouldn't be looking at: Minho's boyfriend's abs.
"Huh?"
Minho huffed, "I said dinner is almost ready, and you should shower before sitting at the table." He glared at Seungmin's phone, "What were you looking at?"
Seungmin's face was usually unreadable, "Nothing."
But Minho had sharp eyes, had known Seungmin for years now, and they had been roommates since Seungmin's first year back in college. Of course, ten years later, Minho was able to catch the very light blush on his cheeks and the way his voice was too plain, too empty. He raised an eyebrow, curious.
"Just Felix." He tried again, slipping a bit of truth. Minho seemed to buy it and hummed, turning back to the stove.
"Is he making you help him decide on which toy to buy again?"
Seungmin grimaced at the memory, "Something like that." He muttered, without much details.
"Hmm. Well, I don't care, go shower so we can eat, I have stuff to do after."
"Okay, okay." Seungmin nodded and, feeling less observed, complied.
They always had dinner together, Minho watching over Seungmin's meals had become a habit back in their college days and now he always waited for the younger to be back from work so they could sit together to share a meal. Usually they talked a little, sometimes Minho was on his phone –mostly texting his boyfriend–, sometimes Seungmin's eyes were on the TV across the room. But there were other times when Minho would share about his day at the shelter –even show Seungmin some pictures of their new animals–, and, a bit more frequently, Seungmin would tell him about the office, if something funny happened, if his coworker Hyunjin broke the printer again or how his projects were going.
Tonight, Seungmin wasn't sure he could stand Minho's eyes, so he was glad when it quickly became clear this was one of the nights Minho was too busy texting Jisung to engage in any conversation.
Seungmin lied down on his bed with a sigh after doing the dishes –it was a fair division of tasks: Minho cooked, Seungmin cleaned–, and his fingers wandered to Felix's chat again. His friend was offline, but it didn't matter because Seungmin didn't want to talk. He found the pictures again and opened them. Slowly, he took another look and stopped in the same one: the man kneeling in front of a mirror, shirt pulled up into his mouth and a clear view of his abs, chest, and the ink on his side.
The video was blurry, confusing, and it was not really that obvious it was Jisung moaning. But in the picture Seungmin recognized the tattoo and, worse, Minho's mirror, which meant the picture was taken in the other room of his apartment. He wasn't sure what to do with such knowledge. He stared a little longer, trying to convince his brain that those abs, that tiny waist, and the obscene way the guy was opening his legs, belonged to the same person that this very morning hopped onto Seungmin's table whining about his teammate Jisoo.
Did Minho know? Did he know his boyfriend posted dirty pics and short vids of himself online? Seungmin frowned. He couldn't be sure, Jisung had a copy of their apartment key –though he preferred to ring the bell–, and maybe Minho didn't know about the mirror picture being taken.
But. But. There was something else bothering him.
Hesitantly, Seungmin scrolled up on the chat and found the link again. He pressed and moved uncomfortably over the bedsheets as it opened and loaded as quickly as the first time. Unlike before, he was prepared, or so he thought, because his cheeks still warmed when he heard Jisung's whiny moan –because it was now unmistakably Jisung's–, and his eyes lingered on the way his body arched with pleasure into the hand holding him.
The hand, its lighter skin, its short fingers and strong grip. It was the hand of the person filming the shot from above. It was a hand he knew, a hand with perfectly cut and clean nails. It was the hand that prepared his dinner. Minho's.
The video was cropped, blurry, barely a teasing thing. But Seungmin's mind provided a whole image of the scene: Jisung's body arching as Minho moved between his legs, holding onto his waist. Seungmin felt his stomach warm, guilt curled inside him so he set his phone aside and rolled to the side, "It's not your problem."
Minho and Jisung had been dating for years now, they met in college and danced around each other for a while before they finally got together. Seungmin had watched from the privileged position where he saw Minho panic about Jisung and dedicate him all types of fond gazes. At the beginning, he had been a bit jealous: his closest friend, his favorite person, was giving all his attention to someone else and that made Seungmin feel he was being pushed aside.
Jisung was cute, funny, and talented. And to Seungmin it had always been obvious that Jisung was into Minho, always leaning towards him like a magnet, voice sweeter when they talked. Jisung wasn't bad, Seungmin was just jealous because he always had Minho to himself since high school –when Minho moved and switched schools to Seungmin's and Seungmin was the only one befriending the new shy and intimidating guy– and now there was Jisung. He wasn't bad, in fact, Seungmin thought Jisung was perfect in a way. And worse, he made his hyung happy. He had never seen Minho smile more genuinely than when he was with Jisung. And that hurt the part of him that treasured his best friend a little too close to his heart.
It took him a while to accept that even if Minho was his favorite person, he wasn't Minho's, and that was okay. It took him another while, and Jisung calling him on the middle of the night –drunk and in need of a ride home–, throwing up while Seungmin held him outside of Chan's party, and crying about being sorry to bother Seungmin when he knew Seungmin hated him, to accept that it was okay for Jisung to be that person for Minho.
"m sorry…" Jisung had hiccuped, clinging to Seungmin's shirt as they sat on the sidewalk, the party still loud behind them. His head was on the younger's shoulder, cheek puffy and pressed over Seungmin's shirt, "mm a mess… "
Seungmin had looked down at him, frowning a bit as he noticed Jisung's breath hitching when he started to cry, "I d-didn't wanna bother Seungminnie. "
He blinked and opened his mouth to say it was okay, he was a bit mad about being woken up at 2 am to pick up Jisung from a party he was too drunk to leave on his own, but he wouldn't hold it against the boy as he was crying –and had just vomited in the grass. But before he could say it was okay, that all of their friends were also drunk and Minho –who clearly would be Jisung's first option to call– was out of town, Jisung's mumbling drifted:
"I don't want Seungminnie to hate me." He said between tiny sobs, and glared up at Seungmin with pathetic big eyes and a trembling lip, "Seungminnie, don't hate me-e."
"I don't hate you." He found himself saying before he realized it was true. He couldn't hate Jisung. Then, softer, with a knot on his throat, he added, "Why would I?"
"Because you're in love with Minho-hyung."
Seungmin froze, his cheeks reddening. He wanted to deny it, find out if he could say it out loud and make it true. But his mouth didn't move and the silence hung heavily with meaning. Jisung didn't move away and still clung to Seungmin, he even moved a bit closer, sniffing as to control his own sobs, "I like you, Seungmin-ah, I want you to like me too too." He kept saying, words slurred, and Seungmin wasn't sure how to respond, "Don't hate me."
They had sat down because Seungmin was too tired to drive and preferred to walk Jisung home but needed to wait until Jisung was a bit more stable on his own feet. He was holding a bottle of water for him and squeezed it a bit, a heavy feeling pressing his chest. Seungmin didn't recognize the feeling but his voice came out softer as he talked again.
"I don't hate you, Jisung-ah." This time Jisung glared up again, wide wet eyes, cheeks puffed out. Definitely not the time to have a serious conversation, but Seungmin wasn't sure he could put it into words later. And Jisung needed to hear it, "I like you. And you make hyung happy."
"You like me?" Jisung's whole face illuminated and he straightened his back, "So can we be friends?"
"I thought we already were…"
"For real? Like…" He pouted, "But you glare at me a lot when we hang out."
"I don't."
"You do." Jisung replied, "It's cute though."
Seungmin felt his cheeks warm again and then the drunk boy bit his lip before saving him from the embarrassment by changing topic to something heavier,
"About Minho…"
He shook his head, effectively cutting Jisung before he could continue.
"You make him happy." A pause, "I like him the most when he's happy."
It sat heavily because it was true. Jisung stared at him, as if he wanted to make sure Seungmin meant it, but he was drunk and Seungmin's expression was his usual calm one. Seungmin huffed at him and pushed a finger on Jisung's temple, "Let's go home. Hyung is gonna kill me if I don't make sure you get there safely."
Seungmin got up first, and Jisung accepted his hand and didn't let go –even when Seungmin tried to pull his away– all the way home. He didn't bring it up again, at least not until he managed to convince Seungmin to lie down with him and Jisung was cuddling his side like his life depended on it. Only then, when Seungmin had already texted Minho proof that Jisung was safe at home, and he thought the other boy was falling asleep, Jisung had mumbled slurred words that Seungmin still remembered to the present day: "Minho loves you too, Seungmin-ah and I don't want to…"
Seungmin had never got to hear the end of the mumblings as Jisung drifted asleep, but it didn't matter.
The memories overlapped with his tiredness, dragging him closer to sleep as his mind mixed the Jisung of his past, the one who became a good friend and then his coworker, with the Jisung whining under Minho from the video –half a blurry vision, and half a product of his imagination. He had always been noisy, very annoying when he really made a point to complain, so Seungmin shouldn't really be surprised that Jisung was also loud and whiny in bed. Han Jisung was loud, was the type to moan, a little breathless, a little wet, a little desperate. The sound echoed in his mind.
Seungmin didn't remember ever having a wet dream, maybe back when he was a teenager, but the way the image of Jisung whining and arching as he was held down persisted behind his eyelids was the closest thing he could recall to one.
At first it was close to the video, then the perspective changed, blurry, and his hands were the ones holding Jisung's waist. The boy arched and whined, round eyes directed to him. Seungmin felt hot, everything was hot and he wasn't sure what was happening but the Jisung writhing under him smiled in a knowing way before parting his lips to speak but only letting out another moan. He felt a hand on the back of his neck and with the certainty that one can only have in dreams, he knew it was Minho's hand before he felt the breath near his ear and grazing lips on his skin.
"Good boy, Seungmin-ah." The words made him shiver, "You're doing so good, you're making him feel good. Being so good for us, aren't you?"
The next moan didn't come from Jisung but from himself and the rest was a blur of hands and bodies entangled. His skin was tingling, heat pooling in his stomach until with one last touch, Seungmin woke up a bit too soon and with a soft sound rutted his hips down against the mattress, chasing the feeling until it exploded as a wave of pleasure through his body.
Good boy.
He gasped for air, as he came back to his senses. There was a long second before he managed to take his mind away from the pieces of the dream, before he was aware of the wetness in his pants. Seungmin closed his eyes again as the guilt and the embarrassment curled up in the pit of his stomach.
Seungmin was running late.
He was carrying a cup of coffee as he rushed through their offices lobby and struggled with it and his briefcase while trying to call on the elevator. Luckily, before he could mess up and throw the coffee on his white shirt –that would be terrible considering he was already late for a meeting–, a kind hand manifested and reached for the button. He sighed, and turned to the person with a soft, "Thanks".
"It's nothing. Are you okay? It's weird that you're late." Hyunjin answered, giving him an upside-down look.
Hyunjin worked on his floor and sometimes they shared lunch. He was nice, he laughed every time Seungmin made a joke, even if it was a silly or a stupid one –in fact, he laughed specially hard to the latter ones–, and he was quick to catch on to Seungmin's sarcasm. They had never hung out outside of work and they knew little about each other's private life, but Seungmin would've listed him too if he ever had to recount his friends.
"Huh, yeah, I slept in." He lied easily and they stepped into the elevator together as soon as it arrived.
"Morning meeting?" Hyunjin said, as if it was just to check because he has already reaching to select the floor, and Seungmin nodded.
"Yes, Seoyun-nim's novel project team meeting. Thank you, Hyunjin-ah." He sighed tiredly.
"Hm. No problem, but you may want to fix that tie." He pointed and Seungmin looked down in an awkward way to notice how twisted and poorly tied it was.
Hyunjin chuckled softly, eying Seungmin's hands that were still full, and stepped closer, "Okay, just let me help you there." He was soft and quick as he untied the knot and did all over from scratch.
It came out nice and tidy and Hyunjin smiled, pleased, hands patting softly on Seungmin's chest, as if to straighten some winkles. There were probably winkles, considering the way Seungmin rushed out of his apartment and took a very crowded subway to get here. He usually avoided the underground train and preferred to take busses, but today he couldn't do the waiting.
"Uh, thanks, I…"
"No problem, Seungmin-ah." Hyunjin repeated, patted him again and stepped away as they reached their floor, "You sure you're okay, tho?" He asked one last time, as Seungmin got out first, rushing already.
"Yes. I'm okay, Hyunjin-ah, thanks for helping." He said, trying to be polite while lying again, "I'll go now. See you later." He bowed his head slightly before turning and rushing down the hall towards the meeting room.
He was bowing again even before he had even pushed the door open, "Good morning, I'm sorry, I'm late," he muttered, feeling his face hot with embarrassment, eyes low as he scurried inside, moving around the table to find his designated seat –next to the author they were working with.
The woman, Min Seoyun, smiled at him kindly, "Morning, Seungmin-nim." She was a lovely old lady and Seungmin was already glad he had been the one picked to work on her book, so he smiled back the best he could, bowing his head in acknowledge.
Min Seoyun had made the process incredibly easy for him until now: she was receptive to the changes he suggested, she didn't took his notes or margin comments on the manuscript as a attacks, quite on the contrary. She had been one of the best author he had to work with, she even brought him homemade cookies every time they met to talk about the book.
In general, authors didn't need to be present in all the edition team's meetings. Normally, they would just inform them on the decisions regarding the designs, the marketing strategy, and other stuff that required only their approval in the best cases. But Seoyun had insisted and none of them had seen the problem with the adorable old lady –who had decided to become an author after her husband died– joining their meetings.
Maybe the cookie's in the middle of the table, close enough for everyone to eat as they discussed today's points, had helped convince the more reluctant designers about her intervention.
"Oh, Seungmin-ah, we were worried, you're never late…" The voice came from the other side of the table and he felt his cheeks burn but he forced his eyes to meet Jisung's, who was pouting.
"He probably just slept in." Their project designer, Choi Jisoo, said and Seungmin gave her a quick look as he was still settling his things down –briefcase to the side, coffee cup on the table.
"Seungmin-ah never sleeps in." Jisung said, reaching for one of the cookies, looking at him through the table, "Only a strong force could make him be late." He bit on the cookie, crumbles all over the lips of the marketing boy, adorably.
"I slept in." Seungmin intervened before their intern could also participate in the discussion, and he felt the way Jisung stared at him in confusion, maybe he had been a bit rough, so he tried again, softening his words to his usual professional tone, "Can we start already? We've already wasted Seoyun-nim's time enough." He made another apologetical head bow to the lady, who just smiled and dismissed it with her hand.
"Don't worry about it, Seungmin-nim, the designer was showing me the ideas she had for the front cover. No time was wasted." She assured and Seungmin took a deep breathe before Jisoo nodded and cleared her throat, picking her papers again and pointing to the screen where her designs ideas were displayed.
"Well, as I was saying…" she started and continued where she had dropped it.
Seungmin tried to pay attention, he really did. Jisoo's designs were good, pastel tones and some floral patterns. There were a few things he wasn't quite sure about and, being the editor in charge of the project, he tried to point those out. It was a bit bland, maybe the typography could be less stylized, for balance. Jisoo bit the back of her pen and their inter limited to take notes on the side. But every time Jisung, in charge of the general marketing surrounding the book publication, intervened to support Seungmin's visions or go against them to agree with Jisoo, Seungmin felt his concentration waver.
Every time their eyes met Seungmin felt his cheeks go red and the flash image of a blurry dream and a blurry video overlapped with the guy sitting in front of him with the sleeves of his white shirt rolled up and cookie crumbs on his lips.
Seungmin had lied.
He didn't sleep in, he was just too embarrassed to face Minho for breakfast. There was no way Seungmin could just sit there and look at his best friend when he had woke up to a mess in his pants. So he did what anyone would: avoid him.
Usually Minho woke up at the same insane early hour and by the time Seungmin was up and dragging sleepy feet out of his room, Minho was already back from a morning run. Today, Seungmin had woke up before his alarm and it took him five seconds and a short panic to hurry to the shower to clean himself up. With his hair still wet, and the tie not properly tied he had hurried out of the apartment by the time he was usually waking up.
His plan and timing were almost perfect, but Minho's morning rhythm were too good, so they met on the stairs. The older one had frowned, breath still heavy after his morning run, shirt and hair damp with sweat, "Seungmin-ah? Isn't it too early for you to…?"
Seungmin felt his whole face hot and prayed to not blush as he adverted his eyes and passed by in a rush, "Sorry, hyung, I'll leave early today."
Minho's head turned and his eyes followed Seungmin's rush. He leaned on the stair's railing, looking down at his friend, who was practically jumping the steps, "Ya, Seungmin-ah, don't run on the stairs!"
Seungmin had look up and offered him an apologetical quick smile as soon as he was on the first floor. He saw Minho made a gesture with his hand, but he just turned and left quickly. The only problem with his plan was that he didn't get to eat anything, and didn't even have his morning coffee. He could skip a meal or two –considering his rush had also prevented him from the lunchbox Minho usually prepared for him–, no big deal, but he couldn't go through his day without coffee.
So he made a detour and it took him a while to get his order issued. He hadn't consider he wasn't the only tired worker who liked a coffee before his shift. He could've decided to leave and maybe pick one at other place, but this was his favorite Café in the area and he was already in the line. Jeongin behind the bar recognized him, as an usual client of less busy hours, as soon as it was his turn and looked confused, because Seungmin didn't usually buy coffee there on his way to work.
"Did your coffee machine break, hyung?" Jeongin asked as he prepared the usual cup for him.
He moved from one foot to the other, "I forgot to buy coffee and ran out of it." He lied and the younger hummed, passing him the warm cup.
"Whatever. I made it double, you look tired."
"Thanks, Innie-ah." He payed and only after he got out he realized he had missed his usual buss. He could wait for the next, if that didn't mean he would be thirty minutes late. So instead, he took his chances with the train to be only ten minutes late to the meeting. He hated how crowded the subway was and his coffee was half cold by the time he sat down at the meeting table –he didn't have a chance to drink it as he was squeezed by other exhausted workers going through the middle of their week. He finished the cup with some of Seoyun's cookies.
Once the meeting was done the intern accompanying the author out, Jisoo packed her stuff faster than them and waved on her way out, saying something about sending them the samples with the adjustments they had agreed on. As soon as the glass door closed behind her, Seungmin was very much aware it was only he and Jisung packing the rest of the stuff. The empty coffee cup still on his side was a reminder of his morning troubles to avoid Minho. He had considered the fact that he would have to, sooner or later, face Jisung at work, considering most times they were sorted in the same projects. Jisung had specialized in marketing, but his general visions were usually matching Seungmin's and they were a good pair when it came to making hard decisions over a book or project.
There was no way to avoid it, but it was easier to forget about the video and the dream that came after if they weren't alone and Seungmin had something else to focus his mind on. But now that they were alone there was nothing shielding from the way Jisung whined as he stretched his arms over his head.
"Yah, is it really necessary to have these meetings so early?" He complained, getting up and picking up the papers he had spread on his side.
"It's more efficient like this," he muttered in return, throwing the cup in the trash and grabbing his briefcase from the floor, with the rest of his papers, "This way we can work right away on the stuff we decide."
He moved towards the door, planning to escape to his desk, but Jisung followed him in a hurry, carrying his stuff without care for the papers twisting, "Seungminnie, wait for me!"
Seungmin didn't stop walking, but it didn't matter because Jisung matched his steps with ease, smiling a bit and apparently not noticing the way Seungmin was avoiding to look at him. An arm came around his shoulders and Seungmin held back the impulse of squirming away. But Jisung had known him for a long time and he didn't miss the way his friend tensed.
"You're acting kinda weird today." Jisung said, titling his head to stare at his face, "You sure you're okay, Seungmin-ah?"
"Yes," he stepped out of Jisung's half embrace, being glad that even if they were in the same teams, they didn't work in the exact same space, "I just have a lot of other stuff to finish today."
Jisung stared at him a bit more, but his expression was hard to read and after a second he blinked and pulled his eyes away with a short awkward laugh, quickly replaced for his normal demeanor, "Oh, sure, see you at lunch then!"
Seungmin wanted to make up an excuse or something, but he only nodded and Jisung continued his way to the elevator with short jumpy steps. He took a deep breathe and moved away to find his desk, already tired when it wasn't even noon. He couldn't help to glare back when he heard the elevators doors, to get a last glimpse of his best friend's boyfriend.
He needed to get a grip of himself and stop acting weird. Jisung posted revealing pics and videos that seemed to tease whole sex tapes online. And what? Seungmin watched one, okay. And what? Felix did too. And Felix seemed cool about knowing their friends posted such stuff anonymously on the internet.
If Jisung and Minho were kinda perverts that was not Seungmin's problem. A wet dream didn't mean anything either. Objectively speaking, it had just been hot. Seungmin could keep it cool too, like Felix. Nobody needed to know he had got off on it, specially not Jisung and Minho.
He would forget about it and everything would be okay.
Nothing was going to be okay.
It would've been okay if Seungmin hadn't found out.
He had survived lunch with Jisung only because Hyunjin was there too and their bickering was distracting enough for Seungmin to forget. He had even survived dinner with Minho, who was in the mood to tell Seungmin about his day at the shelter and ask Seungmin about his day too.
He was surviving just fine, he was doing a great job being normal and forgetting about it. At least, until Felix texted him while he was getting ready for bed after writing in his diary.
Lix: He's going live at 23:30!!
He frowned to his phone, still siting on his bedroom's desk.
Seungmin: who??
Lix: Jisung!
Seungmin: ??
Seungmin: on twitter??
Lix: ?? didn't u read my other texts this morning?? his channel is literally linked on his bio.
Lix: here
Lix: [link]
Lix: shame he doesn't have many subscribers
Lix: apparently he does a regular live
Lix: on Thursdays!!
He glared at the link and this time at least he hesitated. It wasn't a good idea. He said he would forget about it. Still, his finger –as if it had a mind of its own possessed by curiosity– pressed on the blue text and a page opened on his browser, but the profile appeared locked: he needed an account to subscribe and see Jisung's videos and streams. Not that he wanted to watch. Definitely. No. But there was not even an indication of the boy going live later tonight.
Seungmin: did you subscribe to his channel??
Lix: ?? obviously yeah, bros support bros.
Seungmin: by watching his streams??
Lix: It's like ₩ 10 000 a month
Seungmin made some quick math on his head. Felix gained a lot more money from his video game streams. Why would Jisung post sex tapes on the internet for less? Maybe he was just a pervert and it turned him on knowing strangers watched? Seungmin shook his head, banishing the idea from his mind. Maybe Jisung just wanted some extra cash and making porn was always a good way to get some? He probably didn't need to do anything too specific, just being sexy would get him some desperately lonely people to tip him monthly.
Considering that Jisung's salary was similar to Seungmin's but Jisung lived alone and liked to buy silly nerd stuff and overpriced desserts, even if he didn't make as much money as Felix, it must be helpful to have an extra income from streams. Jisung wasn't a gamer, he couldn't stream video-games on Twitch like their blonde friend, he had a channel on YouTube with some covers he used to record back in college, but it never gained much traction –unfortunately, because Seungmin was subscribed and he thought Han Jisung would be an amazing singer if discovered by the right people.
Maybe Felix was right and Jisung did needed any extra follower he could get. What were five dollars a month when Seungmin didn't have many expenses? Rent and groceries were shared with Minho, and just in case an appliance broke he even had savings that he hadn't use in the past six months. Unlike Minho who regularly sent some money to his grandparents, Seungmin didn't really send money to his family, they did well and he preferred to do gifts over money for birthdays and holidays. His daily life expenses were limited to bus rides and the occasional coffee at the place Jeongin worked. He didn't own many subscriptions, Felix or Chan shared their accounts to Seungmin and Minho most times. And he didn't have expensive hobbies or went out for drinks or food unless his hyungs or the office guys invited –and most times they covered it, except Minho, but he preferred homemade food.
In general, Seungmin could probably spare ₩ 10 000 a month. He could probably give them to Jisung and help him buy another anime figure or more manga to fill up his apartment or another overpriced album or concert ticket. It wouldn't hurt Seungmin's economy and, as Felix said, it would probably make Jisung happy to have new subscribers.
Seungmin frowned to himself, still sitting alone in his room.
Why was he trying to convince himself to subscribe to Jisung's channel? That was weird. That was disgusting. If Minho found out Seungmin subscribed and watched his boyfriend's streams, he would probably not like it. An acid taste pooled on his stomach. He couldn't identify the feeling, but imagining the way Minho would look at him, angry, feeling betrayed somehow, made him at the very least uncomfortable. He shouldn't even consider it. All this turns his head was taking were aim to no good.
His phone beeped and he hesitated before opening the new text. He shouldn't listen to Lix on this, clearly Felix was a little devil and Seungmin was just…
Lix: I mean, i won't watch.
Lix: I can just leave it on and mute it on a background tab. It will still count as a view for him! And I know how much views are important in streaming businesses! ^^ And even if I don't get to, just spam liking and paying the subscription will be okay.
Lix: Of course I won't watch it. Jisung is hot but I AM NOT THAT MUCH OF A PERVERT.
Seungmin felt his cheeks warm. Felix wasn't going to watch Jisung, it was just a bro supporting a bro. Of course. Seungmin felt the shame eat him up as he realized the only one with dirty thoughts was himself. He wrote a quick response to Felix, and then left the phone in the charger to continue his night routine, trying to forget about it. Once he was changed into his pajamas, teeth brushed and ready to just end his day, he sat on bed and glared at the clock.
22:20
Seungmin loved his routine and most days liked to go to sleep at the same hour. A regular sleep schedule was the key to a healthy life –even tho he would happily sleep more hours on his free days. Most days Seungmin was tucked in bed at 22:30. He didn't linger, he didn't let the late night thoughts overwhelm him or drag him into overthinking enough to disturb his sleep. He was no longer the teen that needed a daily doses of running around to guarantee a good night of sleep. No longer the college student to reach for Minho on their shared dorm for late night conversations and snacks.
Seungmin slept at 22:30 every day.
Jisung went live at 22:30 every Thursday.
Today was Thursday.
He turned to his side, thoughts running for a hot second before he sat up and reached for his phone. He didn't need to watch, just leave it open and muted on the side. Right? Just an anonymous number helping Jisung. Fuck it. If Felix could be just a bro helping a bro and not a creep or a pervert, so could Seungmin. He felt like he had to prove to himself that the other night was just a result of Seungmin's lack of sex life and pent up stress.
He rushed his account creation and subscribing process to Jisung's profile on the site. It was actually a bit tricky to make and Seungmin struggle with linking his card for the payment method and subscription. The site kept making him wait and do CAPTCHAs before going to the next step. He didn't like the automatically generated username and struggled three whole minutes before deciding on mongmong_09. Whatever, it wasn't like Jisung would actually ever see it since Seungmin didn't plan to comment because he wouldn't even actually watch. It was anonymous enough.
When he finally managed to open the live it had already started some minutes ago. Which was good because he wasn't the first viewer and Jisung wouldn't pick on his user. But it also meant that instead of Jisung greeting or waiting for people to join, he was met with an already blushing Han Jisung toying with his nipples through the white shirt that Seungmin had seen him wear today at the office. It was a simple one, the type he would usually wear around the office: it attached to his figure and left little to the imagination about the build of his chest and shoulders.
Seungmin's eyes wandered, dragged by the lazy way Jisung's fingers circled through the fabric. It was almost hypnotic in a way that Seungmin could barely pay attention to anything else. Jisung's face was in the frame, hair a bit messy, work glasses still on, his tie from today was a little undone but still around his neck. The light was dim, a warm setup that allowed the image to be clear but at the same time gave the right atmosphere for intimacy. The fit, the lazy gestures, the fact he was obviously in his bedroom, the tiredness and messy vibes. It was like if Jisung was just back from the office and decided to get rid of the stress by touching himself –except for the fact he was in front of 15 viewers and Seungmin knew Jisung went home hours before the live started.
It took Seungmin a whole moment to realize his friend on the screen was talking.
"…today was such a long day," Jisung was complaining, tongue picking between his lips in a unconscious gesture as his fingers pinched through the shirt. "I don't really have much energy, I'm sorry."
Seungmin felt warm all over the moment Jisung leaned back and his fingers worked with more intensity over the spot where his nipples should be under the shirt. He shouldn't, he shouldn't hear Jisung's breathing, he shouldn't stare as Jisung undid his tie fully and opened some of the buttons of his shirt.
"Ah, am I too chatty today?" The camboy said, looking at the comments, "Sorry, sorry, it's just my fave coworker was kinda ignoring me today so I didn't get much attention." He pouted on the screen as he moved for a better angle that showed more of his body.
Seungmin felt something inside him stir. He had barely seen Jisung during the day. He wasn't actively avoiding him –maybe just a bit– but his friend did complain over lunch about Seungmin not giving him attention.
There was no way Jisung was talking about him.
This was a set up scenario. This was made up to match an image. And still, even if he knew, Seungmin's mind wouldn't drop the idea and his cheeks felt warm. His cheeks, his whole face, his whole self. Embarrassment and something else dripped hot in his stomach as he couldn't tear his eyes away from his screen nor put the phone away and go to sleep as he was supposed to.
"I don't really feel like taking it slow today anyway," Jisung continued, without taking his shirt fully off, he let the last button fall open to show his torso: honey skin glowing on the warm light.
Seungmin couldn't stop looking. He was not looking at the shape of the muscles, nor the glimpses of ink on the tone of his skin, nor the way the undone tie fell messily, nor the way the glasses fell on his nose or how his waist was so small and so perfect to hold that he could imagine Minho's small hands on it –short fingers digging into the soft sides of Jisung's belly. No. He would, maybe, if he could stop staring at Jisung's nipples. They were dark, a couple tones darker than his honey skin. And after a few minutes of teasing through the fabric, they were now puffy. And Seungmin couldn't help but stare as the thought of how pretty they looked slipped the filter he was trying to force on his mind.
Jisung moved one hand back to his chest and the moment his fingers found the soft bud and played it around a bit, Seungmin heard himself drag a heavy breath in, "I'm sorry if I'm a bit lazy and today's live is just…" The boy on the screen said as his other hand went down on himself and pressed over the small tent on his pants. "Is simple okay for tonight?" He asked to the chat and waited to read the answers on the comments before continuing. After a second, he smirked and moved the hand over his bulge, a soft sound making it past his lips.
Seungmin didn't care about the comments popping on his screen, he didn't have time to read when his whole face was burning and the tingly sensation of blushing dropped from his cheeks to his neck and chest and then down to the pit of his stomach. He pressed his knees together, uncomfortable in his lying down position, and discovered that to his horror he was hard in his pants. He looked down at himself, not even tucked in the sheets yet, and the shape of his boner was visible in his white shorts.
Maybe Seungmin really was a pervert.
He didn't have much time to reflect on it when Jisung moaned and his eyes went back to the screen where his friend had one hand over his bulge and the other playing with his chest. Seungmin stared at the way the fingers played with the bud and more lazy words came from Jisung's lips. There was something aesthetically pleasant about the way the digits looked as they rolled the nipple or pinched it.
If Seungmin was honest, he had never really known what horny felt like. Was it this? Was it the way he couldn't stop thinking about how pretty Jisung's puffy nipples were? How good the light fell on his skin, making it look like it would be really soft? Would it be soft if Seungmin touched it? He was aching hard by the time Jisung stopped teasing himself to open his pants and lower his boxers.
Seungmin had been on the baseball team during high-school, he had showered in the same room as his teammates. He had seen his good share of naked boys and dicks –not that he had pointedly stared, that would be rude– and he never thought much of it. But a part of Seungmin's brain couldn't help but point out how Jisung's dick was just pretty. That was a weird thought. It was objectively just a dick, curved, not too veiny, curly hair on the base and easily covered by Jisung's eager hand.
He was smaller than Seungmin, maybe. He couldn't be sure comparing it only through the screen. But he also seemed a bit thicker. He felt himself twitch on his shorts and shyly ventured a hand down to press, as if that would calm it. A soft gasp came from his lips the moment Jisung started stroking himself.
The movement started slow, a bit dry, Jisung's other hand still on his nipple as he pushed his knees further apart. There wasn't anything special on it, but Seungmin hadn't watched much porn in his life –only a couple times, for research, to know what was the big deal about it, and he hadn't even been able to get hard with it. So it didn't really matter, because there was something pleasant in the image, in the slide becoming easier as some precum dropped and Jisung's fingers used it to make himself more wet. The sounds were also helping: Jisung's heavy breath becoming more raw, a bit whiny as he hurried his hand.
Seungmin's hand pressed harder on himself and he found himself making soft circles because the pressure felt good. Jisung on the screen closed his eyes for a second and Seungmin had never realized how pretty his lips were before: slightly opened to let out breathes and questions about this being okay for the viewers or if they were wanting to change it. They looked so soft, Seungmin wondered if Minho bit them. How would they look bitten? He let out a low groan and Jisung on the screen stopped his own hand, taking some deep breaths.
"Ah, this is too boring?" He asked to the viewers, eyes a bit glassy and needy. He pouted again, "No, I don't wanna use any toy today… You don't have to be mean, hyung…" He muttered in the same whiny tone he used to complain in the office about the printer running out of ink or a sudden meeting in the afternoon. "But hyung…" He whined again, and looked frustrated, biting his lip and letting some more pathetic sounds while still holding his hand still.
Seungmin glared at the comments and his eyes stuck on the particular one Jisung must've been looking at:
@cathyung98: Finger yourself for us, jagiya, show everyone how pretty you're when you do it yourself.
Oh.
Oh.
He froze for a second.
That was Minho. He couldn't know for sure, but his guts twisted and he pressed harder on his clothed dick. Fuck. Was Minho watching his boyfriend's live?
Jisung whined and shook his head. Seungmin couldn't keep up with the chat, but at some point Jisung continued to jerk himself, more desperately than before. Seungmin's head was full of comments, his imagination running wild as he wondered if Minho was also touching himself to Jisung. The mere idea made him feel hot all over and before he knew it he had one hand inside his shorts and was stroking himself in a hurry. Moans and whimpers came from Jisung on the screen, his eyes closing and his head thrown back slightly, his strokes growing slower –but not less pretty, not that it mattered at this point when Seungmin's brain was too busy buzzing and his hand felt good on his own skin– and the hand on his nipple stopping like he was too distracted, or close.
Seungmin saw it coming. His body was hot, his own breath ragged as he felt himself get closer. But his attention on Jisung didn't falter so he saw the exact moment his friend drew himself over the edge: the way his legs trembled a bit and his lips parted for a gasp as the white spilled all over abs. It was so pretty that he felt himself moan lowly and spill into his hand, making a mess on his boxers.
Jisung kept stroking himself through his orgasm, till the last drop painted his skin in a white mess and he took his hand away with a tired sigh. Seungmin stopped at the same time, breathing through it as his mind came back to focus and Jisung smiled to the screen: a lazy smirk, his tongue peaking on the edge. The post orgasm clarity hit him like a truck and as the situation settle on his brain, Seungmin turned his phone off and pushed it away, sitting straight and pulling his hand out of his pants.
Sticky.
Mechanically he dragged his feet to the bathroom –quickly peeking out of his room to make sure Minho wouldn't catch him on the hall. He cleaned himself and put on another pair of boxers after washing his hand. The hot feeling didn't leave his face even when he was back in bed and covered himself in the sheets all the way to his chin. He stared blankly at the ceiling for a longer second before turning to his side and closing his eyes with a frustrated whine.
It was not a big deal, so Seungmin tried to act accordingly.
Han Jisung was pretty, even sexy, if he was being specific. Anyone could see that: he had grown some muscles through college so his chest and arms were bigger than Seungmin's but his waist was still unfairly tiny –sometimes Felix would complain about it while groping on their mutual friend– and his face was soft in a way that the line between adorable and handsome wasn't clear. And Seungmin was very much a virgin so him getting a bit horny at Jisung displaying all his good qualities and being whiny in front of an audience wasn't a big deal.
He was probably just a bit repressed.
The next week Seungmin pretended that every time Jisung whined in the office he didn't feel heat coloring his cheeks or settling on his stomach, and that when Minho was close his mind didn't take him back to the idea of his best friend masturbating on the other side of the wall that had drove him to the edge. He woke up every morning to have his routine with Minho, he didn't avoid Jisung when he put an arm around Seungmin's shoulders in the office and even engaged in the conversation during lunch. He pretended not to know about the camboy's channel and settled the default notification emails for Jisung's posts as spam so his inbox would filter them automatically –if he found himself checking the spam folder and discovering a poll had been published about a future live, nobody had to know.
On Wednesday night he convinced himself to watch some porn. The faster he proved to himself this wasn't about Jisung but about a pretty boy getting himself off on the screen, the faster he could go back to normal without overthinking or feeling the guilt bubble in his throat every time Minho or Jisung interacted with him. He was a man on a mission, opening google incognito and hovering on the searching bar as he decided what to look up. He was stuck for at least five minutes before he decided it didn't matter the porn: as long as it was sexy it should be enough for him, so he typed the first generic thing that came to his mind.
He clicked on the first link he found and put on his earphones –this time he wasn't risking it. It had been only fifteen seconds of it before Seungmin felt second hand embarrassment and exited the tab. Okay, maybe he had never understood the hype on porn, even in high-school when other boys discussed it, Seungmin wasn't interested. He had watched some, sure, but it didn't even make him hard: the moans were too fake, the girl just lied there and the man moved boringly.
And yet, he hadn't been able to tear his eyes away from Jisung.
Seungmin pressed his lips in a tight line and tried again, this time palming himself as he typed something different. He scrolled through the previews until he found something that seemed pretty. Visually pleasant. He soon found out he didn't care what the person was doing as long as it looked attractive. He tried girls first –he didn't had a strong preference– but he didn't fully understand what they were doing, so he found himself overthinking and quickly switched back to only boys –it was easier to focus on the visual if he understood the anatomy better. First options were twinks, which wasn't bad, but it wasn't entirely good either, and sure the hand on himself helped, but his mind wasn't focused on the video: the guy didn't catch his eyes enough. Maybe if it was a built guy instead? He searched for some big guys and though the muscles seemed sexy, the faces were ugly or the general way the men conducted themselves didn't feel attractive.
Frustrated, Seungmin took the hand out of his pants and put the phone away. He had barely gotten his dick interested, not even hard enough for him to want the release. Maybe something was wrong with him. He turned on his side and glared at his phone as if the object had betrayed him. Wasn't porn supposed to make him horny? Wasn't that how it worked? He had felt interest immediately after seeing Jisung's hands lazily caressing his own pecs on the screen and his dick had hardened without even touching himself. Why wasn't it working with other porn? Jisung didn't even do anything special, at least nothing that Seungmin remembered.
The video came back to his head, the tired gestures, the honey skin, the ink on it and the way Jisung's hand dragged sounds out of his own pretty lips. He turned back onto his back and reached down, palming himself through the pants again. Maybe it was the lighting, maybe it was because he wasn't expecting it, maybe it was because he had been building it in his head before actually watching. Or maybe it was because he knew Jisung –because it was Jisung.
Did that make him a pervert?
He reached for his phone again and this time he didn't waste time before finding Jisung's channel. He scrolled a bit, there was only one new post after the live he had watched, from the weekend. He clicked, hand still on himself but unmoving as the video loaded and Jisung appeared on his screen. He was wearing a big shirt that Seungmin recognized as Minho's and the mere knowledge made his face feel warm. There was less chatting this time, the video was prerecorded, and the face was only half on the frame as the camera focused lower on the way the shirt fell on Jisung's thighs.
When Jisung started palming himself over the shirt, Seungmin did the same. Jisung stopped when a wet spot appeared through the fabric: his breath was already heavy, his soft laugh mocking himself was half away from a moan as he pressed on the spot as to tease himself. The wet spot grew and Seungmin felt himself already hard, but considering the length of the video he forced himself to only rubbing through his shorts even when Jisung switched to something different.
The camboy moved to turn around on his sitting position next to the bed, leaning his body towards the mattress. He reached for something out of the view and the sound of a bottle uncapping was clear before Jisung's hand came behind himself and pushed the shirt up enough to show his ass to the camera and reach between his cheeks. Seungmin felt himself drag a whiny breath in as he made out the metal shape of an anal plug on his friend. Jisung reached for it with slick fingers and moaned as he struggled to grab the toy and it kept slipping.
Seungmin closed his eyes for a second, Jisung's soft whines were enough to stir the heat in his stomach for a moment before he found himself needing to look again. Curious. By the time he opened his eyes Jisung had let the plug fall with a muted sound over the carpet and his fingers pushed inside himself, two at the same time. Seungmin's mouth was suddenly dry as the image of the digits dragging in and out burned in his mind, the obscenity pleasing his senses in the same way fine art or a complex and beautifully written sentence did. He pressed harder on himself, the wetness on his boxers felt weird and satisfying at the same time.
But the camboy didn't get off on his fingers, after what looked like an eternity and not enough, he dragged them out with a complaining moan –as if it was taking him a lot to actually continue with his plans– and reached over the bed again to bring back a dildo. It was reddish and big, not too big but probably bigger than Seungmin's dick. Would that fit in? Wouldn't it hurt? How could it feel good to have such a thing inside? It escaped him, but the visual of the fake dick slicked and pushing inside his friend, making Jisung groan and whine, was doing things to his brain –and to his dick, which for the first time in the night appeared to be working as it should.
Fuck it.
He didn't want to drag it any longer, he pushed his hand into his pants, quickly grabbing himself and stroking in a quick rhythm. Seungmin's eyes were fixed on the screen and the controlled pace Jisung had settled for himself –as to not cum too fast– but he couldn't wait, he didn't want to wait. Seungmin bit a whiny moan before it went past his lips and then, tentatively, let his mouth hang open and pushed one of the earphones off to hear his own breathy sounds. He no longer cared about the image so he let the phone fall over his chest as he rushed his hand, hips moving up as to chase the feeling, the movement making it better and finally dragging him over the edge with an airy moan.
His mind felt a bit fluffy, his body relaxed as he pulled his hand out, cleaning his fingers on the already ruined underwear and closing his eyes a bit for a longer second. Jisung's moans on his ear grew needier, closer to whimpers and after a moment Seungmin picked the phone back up with his clean hand and watched what was left: Jisung holding onto the bed as he fucked himself with the toy, legs shaking a bit and dick hanging free between his thighs. It didn't take long before Jisung came hard, babbling something for himself and shaking as the white dripped to the floor. He pushed the toy deeper one last time and then let go, letting the silicone dildo fall to the carpet unceremoniously. The camboy stayed there for a couple more seconds, breathing heavily, before being able to turn around, reach for the camera and with a raspy "good night, bugs" cut the video.
Seungmin didn't rush in the morning. He woke up before his alarm, as usual, and followed his normal routine: shower, teeth, skincare and then out to the kitchen. The apartment was quiet, and he still felt sleepy as he dragged his feet. Minho's running shoes weren't by the entrance but when Seungmin settled the coffee maker he heard the keys and the door being pushed open by his hyung. He turned slightly over his shoulder and their eyes met, Minho's hair was messy, face a bit red as he was still out of breath from rushing upstairs after his morning run.
"I'm making coffee." He announced and Minho nodded, kicking off his shoes and pushing his hair back before stepping further into the apartment, towards the small table on the kitchen.
"I brought some groceries on my way back." The hyung answered, "Have time for breakfast? Or you in a hurry?" He said, letting the plastic bag on the surface, "I'll shower and cook something."
"Hm." Seungmin nodded, moving to find the rice and prepare it himself, "No, I only have a meeting with an author later, it's out of the office." He yawned.
Minho raised an eyebrow, curiosity dancing on his lips, "Puppy sleepy? At this hour of the morning?"
Seungmin felt his cheeks growing red and for a second he was thankful his back was turned to Minho, "I lost track of time and went to bed past my usual time." He said, it wasn't a lie so it came out smoothly.
"Gaming?" Minho asked and suddenly he was too close, leaning over Seungmin's shoulder to take the pot he was holding away from his hands, "Why are you putting sugar in our rice? Yah, Kim Seungmin, go wake up properly and just wait for me to make breakfast."
Seungmin's heart skipped a bit and before he could catch his reaction he squirmed away, Minho's body heat hovering on his back making him overly conscious of the small gap between their bodies. The hyung glared at him, shooting an eyebrow up. This close Seungmin could see the sweat dripping from his hairline and how damp his hair was –he hadn't notice the sweat pooling on Minho's shirt's neck before either. He didn't stink and he didn't have colone yet he just smelled like Minho, very close, and very warm.
"You okay?" The hyung said, narrowing his eyes, "You seem…"
"I had a nightmare," he lied, "I'm a bit jumpy. Sorry."
Minho didn't took his eyes away, scanning Seungmin's expression for any sign of a lie. They didn't move for a whole second, the rice in the cooker forgotten without the machine being turned on, until the hiss before the bubbling sound coming from the coffee maker broke the tension and Seungmin reacted, turning around to check on the black liquid being poured. Minho huffed, settled the sugar back on the counter and shaking his head moved away towards the bathroom.
Seungmin took a deep breathe once he was alone again. Keep it together, Seungmin. He served the coffee, adding the sugar according to their preferences and leaving Minho's cup on the counter before setting the rice cooker and moving back to his bedroom, sipping on his own coffee. He tried not to think as he made his bed and dressed up properly, organizing his bag for the day before coming back out to where Minho –hair fresh washed and clean clothes after a fast shower– looked at him from where he was making breakfast.
Seungmin settled his bag on the sofa and came to the table to sit down, pulling out his phone and checking on work emails before passing to his friend's group chat as he waited for the food to be ready. He didn't pay much attention to any, more focused on Minho's movements in his peripheral vision. When the hyung came to the table and settled the bowls with food, Seungmin put his phone aside and picked up his chopsticks to eat, burning his lips at the first try of hot rice, which made Minho giggle.
It was a pretty sound and when he looked up he got caught up in the pretty way Minho's smile curved and his eyes closed slightly, "Yah, Seungmo, be more careful or I'll have to take you to the vet." He teased, pointing his chopsticks to his friend before placing some veggies on Seungmin's bowl.
"Hyung, you're a vet. Can't you just treat me yourself?" He muttered, nibbling on the carrot pieces to let the rice cool down.
Minho scoffed and rolled his eyes, "No."
The silence stretched a bit more before Minho seemed to remember something and hummed, looking up, "Ah, right, I'll stay at Jisung's tonight."
Seungmin bit on another carrot piece without giving it much thought. They'd been dating for years, Minho staying at Jisung wasn't a weird thing, "Okay."
"Don't burn the kitchen."
"As if." He rolled his eyes, "I'll just order delivery or maybe eat out."
It wasn't weird that he let Seungmin know either. He didn't have to, but it was nice for him to do so Seungmin could plan his afternoon better. Considering Minho had known him for years, he was probably aware that Seungmin liked schedules and plans. He would probably just lie on the couch feeling the house too silent for himself, maybe call Felix to join him on a video game –he hadn't indulge himself in games in a while– but planning it was nice. Or maybe he would watch Jisung's regular Thursday's live again.
Wait a second.
Jisung's live was tonight. And Minho was staying over.
He hadn't paid attention to the poll Jisung had posted about the live as he was too busy pretending he didn't care. And after last night he no longer knew what to think about himself –a part of him still felt like he should unsubscribe and forget it ever happened, but here he was, still subscribed and considering watching today's live. Was today's live gonna be different to the last? Was Minho gonna be there? Was Minho on any other videos? Seungmin hadn't really dug into the profile yet. Yet?
From what he saw most of his friend's content were solo videos, so he wasn't sure why he was considering Minho being there as a possibility. But maybe on lives, since lives didn't stay on the platform, unless Jisung uploaded them after –Seungmin had checked after the first one he watched. The possibility of Minho being in tonight's live made him feel curious in the same way he had felt curious last night watching his best friend's boyfriend get off with a toy.
Tingly.
"Yah, Kim Seungmin, are you listening to me?" Minho waved a hand in front of his face.
"Hm?"
"Didn't you have an appointment with a writer?" Minho said, frowning a bit, "You're gonna be late."
Seungmin straightened his back, feeling his face hot as he realized he had zoned out for a second. His hyung's eyes studied his expression and Seungmin quickly moved to his feet, "Yes, right. I'll leave now." He grabbed the bag he had left on the sofa and he still felt Minho's eyes on him when he reached for the door.
"Kim Seungmin."
"Yes, hyung?" He turned a second, holding the knob.
Minho seemed like he wanted to say something but ended up holding back and just shook his head, picking the empty bowls, "Don't run downstairs, you will fall."
Seungmin bowed to the author as the man stood up from the table they had shared at the Café. He waited until the man was out the door to sigh, tired, and let his head fall onto the papers he had still not picked up from their table. First time authors were the hardest ones to work with as they did not always understand Seungmin's job was to make their book better and he was not being harsh to trash them or to imply their skill was poor. In fact, Seungmin accepted only books he saw potential in, and Mr. Park's story was good, great even, but the man didn't love when Seungmin pointed plot holes or whole chapters that should be left out.
The soft thud of a cup being set on the table made him open his eyes. Jeongin dried his hands on the black apron that was part of his uniform and raised an eyebrow before sitting down across from Seungmin, "That man looked stubborn as fuck".
Seungmin raised his head and took the coffee, sipping from the straw. Soft caramel. Jeongin was a bit clumsy and more than once had made a mess behind the counter in the many times Seungmin had come to work here, but he also was a great barista in a way –at least he always remembered to make Seungmin's coffee sweeter in afternoons he was talking to writers.
"Is his story any good tho?" The younger continued and reached for one of the printed pages Seungmin had been lying on, the text crossed by blue marks and commentaries on the margin. Jeongin tiny eyes went even tiny as he tried to read.
"Do you want me to lend you my glasses?"
"I don't need them."
"Sure."
Seungmin continued to sip from his coffee as Jeongin wasted his time trying to read while he obviously couldn't see shit in front of his face. The Café was half empty as this hour, the slow traffic allowing Jeongin to just waste his time at Seungmin's table. After a couple minutes he gave up, putting the paper back and asking instead, "What is it about you said?"
"A man who falls in love with a prostitute," he said. "There is some sort of loss and self discovery behind… but the author doesn't seem to realize the potential it has and keeps adding sex scenes that are not meaningful to the plot."
Jeongin grimaced, faking a shiver of disgust, "Right, that seems like a book I will not be reading."
Seungmin stared at him for a second longer, "Why?"
"I'm just not into smutty books, hyung."
"It's not a smutty book." Seungmin frowned, and when Jeongin raised his eyebrows he huffed, "It's not a smutty book, I wouldn't have accepted to edit it if it wasn't something… more." He gestured vaguely with a hand.
Jeongin pressed a wide smile on his face, but his eyes remained big and open, mocking as he nodded three times, "Sure thing, hyung. That's why the author is mad you're cutting off the sex scenes."
The older put his cup down and rolled his eyes, grabbing the papers and putting them back on his bag. He wasn't mad, just mildly annoyed. This writer wasn't easy to deal with and here was Jeongin mocking him for finding something interesting and even meaningful in a smutty book. No. It wasn't a smutty book!
"I mean, smutty books are not bad, I guess they have its audience and all." Jeongin tried to soften his statement, "But a smutty book disguised as something else..."
"It's not like that. He just need to make it work, I can see what he's trying to put together here." Seungmin motions generally around and then grabs the cup again, sipping as he sulks, crossing his other arm, "He just gets distracted adding scenes that I'm not saying don't go with the storyline, the man falls for a prostitute…, I'm just saying there is no need to narrate them all as they're not meaningful to the plot."
Jeongin observes him for a second and then shakes his head, getting up, "Whatever, hyung, I don't really care about that guy's book. I'm sure you will make something good out of his story anyway." He waved a hand without interest, always so nonchalant the little shit, "Meaningful, or whatever."
Seungmin rolled his eyes and let him go. It was not a smutty book.
During the whole day Kim Seungmin had felt like he was waiting, his skin itching as the clock tickled closer and closer to 23:00. The delivery food came in time and he ate sitting at the table while having the TV on as background noise. After he was done, he took a long shower, washing his hair and taking his sweet time with his skincare routine. By the time he sat down on his room to write in his diary he felt anxious, he managed a couple sentences before he gave up, closing the journal and pushing it back into the drawer.
The small pocchaco clock on his desk hit 22:47 when Seungmin finally took his laptop and stopped pretending he hadn't been waiting for this moment since the morning. He opened it on the desk and went on incognito mode to log on to his account and open Jisung's channel, a countdown had been set for the live: there was still some minutes to go, so Seungmin got up, made sure the rest of the lights around the apartment where off, he came back to the desk chair still having five minutes left so he picked up his phone and scrolled a bit.
At some point during the day he had been stuck between various open tabs: some reedit posts that seemed to match some of Seungmin's experience, a Wikipedia page –of course– and a couple YouTube videos about sexual attraction and libido. He wasn't even sure what he was looking for, he had never cared for labels. He remembered when Minho came out as gay to him the first time.
When Minho switched schools and Seungmin was the only one trying to befriend him, Minho hadn't opened up to him instantly. In fact, Seungmin had followed him around for a bit, finding the hyung cool and cute at the same time. He had never been popular, but he wasn't a loser either. As part of the baseball team and one of the smart kids in his class –taking an advanced class and being paired with Minho for a project was a product of his nerd side–, Seungmin had a couple of casual friends in different social groups, but none of them were too close to do more than casual talks or hang outs to study. But Minho was different, the moment the hyung stepped in the classroom and introduced himself in a shy tone –rectangular glasses he would replace for contacts later in college making him look like a nerd– Seungmin knew he wanted to be Minho's friend.
He wasn't sure why, but he was more than happy when the guy was assigned to the empty seat next to him, providing Seungmin an excuse to befriend him. During weeks Seungmin followed Minho around like a lost puppy, smiling every time Minho gave him some attention and actually acknowledged him. It took him around two months before Minho finally snapped one afternoon.
They served pudding at lunch and Seungmin took the opportunity to give his to Minho –it wasn't the first time he ditched his baseball friends to sit with his hyung on the roof where he liked to hide.
"Here, hyung, you can have it, you will enjoy it more than me." He had said and Minho blinked at the offering Seungmin had set between them, fingers grabbing the chopsticks with unnecessary strength over his lunchbox before he frowned to Seungmin.
"What are you doing?" It was the first time his tone was something more than boring indifference. He hadn't pushed Seungmin away when the boy insisted on following him around or chat, but he hadn't encouraged him either.
Seungmin looked at him with big innocent eyes. "Giving you my pudding? You don't buy in the cafeteria but I saw you looking at it and I saw you bring one the other day. I thought you liked it. You looked happy eating it and I don't really mind."
Even when Minho frowned and sighed in frustration, setting his lunchbox down, he was pretty.
"No. I mean following me around."
"I wanna be your friend." Seungmin had answered without hesitation, blunt, and that had made Minho's ears turn red as he blinked like a confused cat. Cute.
"But I–…"
"I think you're cool."
There was an awkward silence as they looked at each other. When Minho didn't seem to find anything but sincerity in Seungmin's puppy eyes, he softened and his face dissolved in vulnerability and some kind of fear or insecurity, "I'm gay, Kim Seungmin, and people may think you're too if you keep sticking to me and gifting me… stuff." He pushed the pudding back to the boy and closed his lunchbox with more force than necessary.
Seungmin had seen the looks, the curious eyes directed to them every time he rushed behind Minho on the hall with an excited 'hyung!' on the tip of his tongue, wide smile and hypothetic tail wagging. He didn't care. Before Minho could stand up and leave, he reached for his arm, "And what about it?"
The hyung froze in place.
"I still wanna be your friend, hyung."
"You don't care?" Minho muttered, falling back down and staring at him, analyzing the younger's face as if Seungmin was a puzzle he couldn't decipher.
"No." Seungmin shrugged and passed the pudding back to him, "People should be allowed to like whoever they want. Be boys or girls. Isn't it the same?" He didn't understand Minho's expression, he didn't understand what was the big deal, people were just people. "And I like you so, please, let me be your friend, hyung."
After a longer second Minho gave in, and took the pudding without many words, his ears still pink.
Seungmin had never really cared, and never really questioned himself. Girls were cute and boys were too. Was he gay? Hetero? Bi? Who knew. He didn't care. But he clearly hadn't been asking the right questions. It wasn't about what but who. Maybe now he was closer to solve the puzzle of his own interests, or the lack of it. Maybe, just maybe, because he was an adult with a job and no longer a teenager to waste time pondering stuff not taking him anywhere. He hadn't gotten far in his research until now, some stuff fit, others didn't seem too accurate for him.
The notification on his laptop took him out of his mind and he found himself staring at a Jisung tied up in front of the camera. He blinked in surprise as the camera moved for a better focus and his friend on the screen moved his eyes from staring at something above to the camera. His cheeks were red, his lips a bit shallow –as if they had been kissed or bit– and he was wearing just a crop top and some kind of panties that did little to hide his already hard dick resting on his thighs.
"Hi, bugs." Jisung smiled in a nervous way, eyes darting as the chat started, the first viewers commenting back with curiosity and eagerness. He giggled a bit and showed his tied hands, "So, we're actually doing something slightly different tonight."
Jisung's eyes darted at something behind the camera. Or most likely someone Seungmin didn't need to see to know it was Minho, by the way Jisung's nerves dissolved a bit into a smile, "I have prepared this little surprise and if you saw the poll I posted some days ago you have some idea what's this about." He giggled nervously, "I actually haven't checked the poll results, so I don't know if I will be cumming many times or not allowed to cum."
Seungmin felt his face going warm as Jisung readjusted himself, straitening his back as he was still sat on his knees, wrist tied on his back. He read one of the comments before nodding and looking out of the camera, "Oh, yes, I have… hyung to help me tonight." Jisung licked his lips and smiled between nervous and soft, "He's… here to make sure I'm okay and to… well, to control everything."
A few comments popped up, but Jisung didn't answer further questions on his hyung. The camera was in the perfect angle for nobody to identify the person that came close enough to rest a hand on the camboy's thigh and with a soft manner reach to his crotch, teasing over the panties. The hand with short fingers traced the shape through the thin fabric and Jisung let out a soft sound, round eyes looking up at the person and lips pouting slightly, but the fingers only stayed a second before going out of frame and coming back with a fleshlight to show on the screen.
"Yeah, okay, we-e will use this first." Jisung sighed as the hyung's hand slowly –torturously slowly– pushed the panties down to free the camboy's dick. The small fingers teased on the tip and then the rest of the length, Jisung's eyes staring down at the lazy gestures as much as Seungmin's.
There was a pause and Jisung almost protested but soon the hand was back and slid the toy on the boy's dick before moving aside again, squeezing Jisung's thigh as if to remind him something, "Ah… H-Hyung said I should tell you about tonight's plans first." He said, resting his head back as his cock remained inside the toy.
Seungmin imagined how it felt, tight but not enough friction: not driving Jisung to the edge, but not letting him slide away from the good feeling. He moved on his chair, considering to google the price of one those. Maybe they were good?
"Besides this…" Jisung pointed with his chin as his hands were still restricted, "Hyung has already put a vibrator in me." He blushed and looked shyly at Minho at his side but out of the frame and then back at the camera, "And he can control it from his phone." Jisung wiggled in place.
His eyes focused on the comments popping, trying to follow the top ones, "Ah, yes! Thanks for the donation, hansome, I already ordered the machine. I'll be trying it after it arrives." He addressed a few comments as he seemed to get progressively more fidgety, wriggling his hips and biting his lip, as if having his cock in the toy without further action was driving him crazy.
At some point Jisung whined and looked to his right, "Hyung, please, just turn it on already."
"Hm, quokka is already desperate?"
Seungmin wasn't expecting Minho's voice. It was muffled, low, as if he was wearing a face mask –probably in case his face fell in the frame– but Seungmin would never mistake it. Jisung complained with a moan, arching a bit and trying to wiggle his hips, "Hyung…"
"We haven't even started, baby. But don't ask me." Minho's hand held Jisung's chin from the side and turned him back to the screen, "They should be the ones you're begging, I'm just here to do what they can't."
Seungmin glared at the comments.
pixiedust123: quokka is always so needy! cute
anon25 just donated.
anon25: you look pretty when desperate.
quokkabites_69: how can anyone tell not to him…
Jisung whined and before he knew better, Seungmin typed:
mongmong_09: maybe if you beg.
"Beg?" Jisung glared at Seungmin's comment and then wiggled his hips, "Please. Please can we start it already?"
Seungmin wasn't expecting him to actually read it and do it. He felt tingly and hot.
wolfchanniehyung: oh god.
foxsnarlxx: okay. yes. go on, pretty boy.
Jisung pouted, big eyes pleading to the scream as he begged more, "Please, please."
domsdragon: fucking genius @mongmong_09!
Jisung moaned again on the screen, like he was waiting for something. Or someone else.
mongmong_09 just donated.
mongmong_09: okay.
The camboy sighed in relief to the green light, eyes darting towards his invisible assistant, who giggled muttering something about how it was hard to say no to Jisung. He reached for the toy and pressed a button on it, the fleshlight working on its on, a soft buzzing, a slight movement and Jisung moaning softly right away, head slightly threw back towards the bed. Pretty.
Seungmin wondered if it was that good or Jisung was sensitive. He ignored the comments popping on the side of his screen and focused on the way his friend became more breathy and with his arms tied back he was pretty much exposed: the crop top falling right under his pecs, the tattoo on his side showing and his belly contracting slightly with every moan. When his sounds became more whiny, Jisung turned his head to the side, eyes searching for Minho before muttering: "I'm close-e, nng, hyung."
Minho patted him on the cheek, moving his face back to face the camera and Jisung understood, letting out a whine, "Ah, please, can I cum?" He begged easily, eyes searching in the comments, "Please… mm, I'm close."
He seemed to find the approval because soon he let out a higher moan, stomach contracting as he spilled into the toy. Minho didn't reach to turn it off until Jisung made a soft sound too close to a wet whimper, but he didn't take it off. "Oh, that means… the poll winner was coming as many times I can?" Jisung laughed softly after a second, breathing heavily through his nose.
"How many times? Uh…? I usually get sleepy after two…" he hesitated after reading some comments.
"Maybe you can hold longer for your bugs."
Jisung seemed nervous but still smirked towards the screen in a way that made Seungmin's dick twitch as he realized he was pretty hard and leaking in his boxers. He pressed down through the fabric of his shorts when Jisung let out a breathy laugh, "Ah, you're already touching yourself, pixiedust?" He addressed one of the comments, "That's unfair, you guys cannot finish until my live ends."
Oh.
"Deal?" He muttered, and Seungmin found himself letting out a soft moan when Jisung added, "Would you guys be good to me like that? Don't cum until I'm done, bugs."
The order fixed on Seungmin's brain even if when Minho turned the toy back on and Jisung whimpered on the screen, he rubbed himself more intentionally. "Fuck…" Jisung whispered between moans, too sensitive after one orgasm. Besides the buzzing and mechanical sounds of the toy, the wet slide was loud on Seungmin's ears right between his friend's breathy whines.
He looked just so pretty, stomach contracting, thighs trembling once in a while and hair falling onto his face messily. Jisung's cheeks were red, the color expanding towards his neck and suddenly Seungmin was curious if it would be red on his chest too. An idea popped on his head and he stopped rubbing himself as the embarrassment took place on his stomach, twisting with guilt. But he had already gotten Jisung begging once. Commenting again wouldn't hurt. Besides, if it was good it would gain him more tips, right?
mongmong_o9: can hyung play with your chest? It looked so pretty last time.
Jisung didn't seem to read the comment, eyes closed as focused on his own body, but Minho did.
"Oh? Did you see that, baby?" He said, a hand moving to grab Jisung's chin softly making him look. "I think mongmong has another great idea."
"H-Hyung playing with my chest?" Jisung babbled, licking his lips and swallowing as if the saliva had been pooling too much, "Would you like that?"
The rest of the comments agreed and some of them even tipped so Seungmin sent another tip as well before Jisung glared to Minho at his side and the hyung's hand reached over the top, finding the bud through the fabric and making the camboy whine once more. Seungmin moaned on his own and rubbed through his shorts before stopping himself. An idea was forming in his head but he hesitated at first.
Slowly, Seungmin brought his hand up, tracing over his oversized shirt. He imitated Minho's moves: circles and then pinching, his own sound becoming more airy. When the hyung slid his hand under Jisung's top, Seungmin did the same and found his own nipple, rolling it and pinching in the way he had seen Jisung do the other night on live and imagined Minho's fingers did now. It didn't felt as good as touching his dick, but it was something. And Jisung's sounds growing more desperate again were helping. The camboy trembled a bit, thighs twitching as well as his stomach when he came for a second time, a longer moan twisting into a cry when Minho continued to play with his chest without turning off the toy.
"Fuck-k, fuck, hyung-g, ah… ngh, too much, too-o m-much…" He cried and twisted, trying to get away from the toy, but unable to make it fall from where it continued to milk him until Minho took pity of him and reached to turn it off and pull it away, the cum messily falling onto Jisung's dick and panties. It should've been disgusting or gross, but it wasn't.
Jisung sighed in relief, muttering something that the mic didn't catch and leaning towards the side where Minho remained out of the frame. Seungmin heard the hyung whisper something back to his boyfriend, equally undistinguishable to the mic but sounding sweet, as his hand came to push Jisung's panties lower, the pink fabric stretching when Minho's hand pulled the boy's knee, dragging his legs open and caressing the inside before moving back out of the camera.
This time Jisung barely had time to recover before Minho turned the vibrator on and he moaned, his dick soft but twitching as he cursed. Seungmin reached down with his free hand and palmed himself again as Jisung turned to his side, trembling when Minho settled the vibrations to a higher level. The complaints and begging were soon there, but the comments were encouraging him to continue. Seungmin couldn't force his eyes away from the way Jisung's face contorted between pleasure and too much when a third orgasm hit and some tears fell onto his soft looking cheeks.
Seungmin had seen Jisung cry before, but this was different. This felt different. Hot. He pushed his pants down and finally touched himself. Jisung hiccuped, Minho's hand came back in, reaching for Jisung's and untying him before caressing his side. The camboy rested his head back, bringing a hand up to push the hair off his face and clean the tears before glaring at his off frame boyfriend with silent words. It took him a second to put himself together and check the comments and talk a bit –the best he could when his words were slurred and he seemed sleepy– until a moan cut him and he glared to his right in accusation. The break was over.
Seungmin heard Minho's laugh and saw Jisung curling on himself a bit before correcting his posture to show himself better as the vibrator started working again. Minho dragged two more orgasm from him, coaxing him with sweet words and reading him some of the comments and donations the live was getting. Every time Jisung was close, Seungmin stopped his own hand and bit his lips, waiting, and feeling his own guts twist with need as Jisung came yet again. When he thought he couldn't really hold it in anymore and he was just gonna cum before he was supposed to, Jisung –who was crying and begging Minho to stop as he shivered– gave in for one last orgasm, barely a few drops spurring out of his wasted cock, dripping to his thighs.
Minho turned off the toy, an arm reaching for his boyfriend's waist, caressing softly and bringing him slightly out of the frame for something that sounded vaguely as kisses. Seungmin didn't stop his hand this time: closing his eyes, he imagined the soft way his lips would meet. The light sobs and tender breathy hiccups coming out from Jisung still when Minho was now holding him as he reached onto the camboy's backside to slide the vibrator out, would've made it for Seungmin anyway, but in the end was the soft praise that wasn't even directed to him what dragged him over the edge.
"You did so good, baby," Minho muttered and Seungmin came all over his shorts and hand, covering his mouth to mute a whine, "You look so pretty like this," Minho kept saying and as Seungmin closed his eyes, the orgasm hitting him harder after as he imagined the words were for him, "So good. Why don't you say good bye so we can turn off the live and clean you up, hm? You made such a mess."
"Hyung-g…"
Seungmin opened his eyes to see the mess on his own hand and then the way Jisung sat up again, eyes on the screen, face red and eyes still wet as he leaned closer and waved a hand, forcing a smile broken by a sob, "Bye, b-bugs, thanks for watching-g… good night."
A hand covered the camera and Seungmin caught on a last indistinguishable whisper before the live ended. He sat there a couple more minutes, a sticky hand and a weird feeling in his chest.
Seungmin's life was a joke.
That was the only explanation to why when he decided to google about sex toys during his lunch break on Monday Jisung appeared at his back, looming over his shoulder. He couldn't blame it on Felix this time, it had been his own brain spiraling after re-watching Jisung's video with the dildo twice during the weekend. Was it really that good? Seungmin couldn't stop wondering how would it feel to have something inside. He had tried to put a finger in while watching last night, but he regretted it soon after learning that without lube he wasn't going anywhere past the first knuckle.
The lube was already in his cart, he hadn't need to look much to pick which bottle to buy.
The toy in the other hand was proving to be harder to choose. There were so many options, sizes, colors, textures, materials. All of them needed different cares and cleaning routines he had made a deviation on his search to learn about –Seungmin was positively sure he would die if he had to boil a sex toy in the kitchen he and Minho shared to clean it properly. He wasn't sure why there were so many options, but it was overwhelming him a bit. Vibrators, dildos, or one fleshlight like the one Minho had used on Jisung for the last live –the last option was tempting because he knew for sure action on his dick would feel good, but it was other stimulation he was curious about.
"These one feels great." Jisung's hand pointed from over his shoulder to the small purple one Seungmin had been looking at for a while now. Purple was his favorite color. He hummed. "And it's a great choice for beginners".
It was only when Jisung's finger tapped the screen to select the toy for more details that Seungmin jumped and turned around, moving his phone away and looking at his friend in surprise. "What are you–?"
Jisung blinked in his direction and raised an eyebrow, "What? I thought you would like an opinion."
He could feel his cheeks warm. "How long have you been there?"
Jisung pushed his lips into a pout and shrugged, "Does it matter? I saw you frowning from across the room and I can tell you've been looking at it for long enough," he said, setting his packed lunch on Seungmin's desk, before dragging the chair from the next desk to sit by his side. "Anyway, as I was saying." He took Seungmin's phone from his hand and scrolled on the toy's description, "It's silicone, so it feels softer inside, and it's not too big, it's harder to clean than a hard-plastic one, but since it's not a vibrator and doesn't need batteries, you can just wash it without much worrying."
Seungmin just stared at him as Jisung continued to yap.
"I once fucked one up because I forgot to take the batteries out…" Jisung scratched his cheek with a grimace and looked up at Seungmin, "You don't want that mess happening, Seungmin-ah."
"I wasn't planning to buy one," he lied, taking his phone back and still feeling his face red as he put it away and Jisung grabbed his lunchbox, planning to eat here with Seungmin –as if Seungmin hadn't refused Hyunjin's invitation to the cafeteria just to avoid this.
"No?"
"I was just doing research." He said, taking his own forgotten lunch and picking one of the octopus shaped sausages Minho made for him to bite its the head off , "For a book. The author keeps mentioning toys and I just wanted to make sure they existed or were at least not impossible."
Jisung raised an eyebrow, filling his mouth with rice, "Ah, is that so…" He muttered, cheeks full and round as he chewed, "And I thought you were finally open to learning about butt sex."
Seungmin glared in his direction, frowning, "What do you mean?"
His friend shrugged once and then again, answering as soon as his mouth was not so full.
"You know."
"No, I don't."
"Seungmin-ah. I've known you for years."
"I could own a sex toy and you wouldn't know."
"Do you?"
Seungmin scoffed and bit the rest of his sausage, pushing some rice into his mouth too just to not answer. Not that it was necessary, his face was surely red and Jisung had known him for years. But Seungmin had also known Jisung for years and he didn't knew he had a fucking channel to get off in front of strangers. Seungmin could have secrets too.
Jisung nudged their shoulders together, "It's nothing to be embarrassed about, Seungminnie, the first time I bought a toy I didn't know what to buy and ended up with one I didn't like…"
"I'm not buying a toy." He repeated, avoiding to look at his friend, Jisung giggled.
"Sure." He said, "But if you were… start simple. That purple one is a good one for beginners."
Seungmin didn't say anything about it and Jisung rotated in his chair a little, eating while he spoke, "You know, now that I think about it, it's been a while since I used that one. I've been meaning to buy one of those that look like tentacles. You know which ones I mean?"
He chocked on his food as his mind provided a very graphic image of Jisung riding one of the tentacle dildos he had seen while scrolling. His friend patted his back softly and passed a bottle of water in his direction, Seungmin chugged down half of it before looking at Jisung with raised eyebrows, "Yes… I have seen them, but I don't get the appeal."
"Ah." Jisung bit on a piece of his meat, "You're vanilla, right."
"Vanilla?"
"You know, when you're into basic sex." Jisung said, reaching with his chopsticks to steal the last of Seungmin's octopus sausages. He looked up quickly when he realized how that sounded, widening his eyes and blushing a bit, "It's not a bad thing!" He added at Seungmin's frown, "It just mean you're probably not into the idea of monsterfucking."
"Monsterfucking."
Seungmin should've probably shut up, but Jisung hummed, taking the whole little octopus in his mouth and talking while his cheeks were adorably puffy, "Like a monster fucking you." He dropped his chopsticks and got his phone out, scrolling a bit before showing Seungmin a fanart where a boy was being restricted by some kind of tentacles that were also filling his mouth and fucking him at the same time.
It looked… intense. Was Jisung into that?
He couldn't deny it looked hot in the art, the blushing all over the character's face and what looked like fluids making it look wet and messy. But the part of his brain that got activated when watching Jisung's videos, didn't react, so he was not more impressed by the scene than he was for the artsyle itself.
"You're into that." It was not really a question and it made Jisung blush a lot. His friend laughed awkwardly, moving his hands as he put the phone back in his pocket hurriedly.
"I m-mean, the concept is sexy." Jisung said between airy laughs, "I don't want to be raped by an actual giant octopus or whatever, just–…"
"A tentacle."
"Well, the idea of it being slimy and… YAH!" Jisung yelled at him when Seungmin could no longer hold his laugh, lowering his voice immediately after when he remembered they were still at the office, "Kim Seungmin, kink-shaming is not good."
It wasn't even that funny, but Seungmin couldn't remember the last time he had teased Jisung and got such reaction, so his giggles grew quickly from a small chuckle to a soft laugh with closed eyes. Seungmin didn't see it, but Jisung stared at him for a second and softened, the pout fading to a small smile and then a short laugh as he shook his head, still half embarrassed.
He wasn't gonna buy it, not really, definitely not after Jisung had seen it.
He had buried the idea by the time he sat at the table with Minho that night. Today was one of those days Minho would tell him about his work at the shelter and how there was one kitty he was growing attached to. He already had three cats at his parent's house, cats that hadn't moved in with them because their landlord didn't allowed pets. So Minho was struggling to not take this little kitten in with him, he hoped someone would adopt it soon so he wouldn't have to think about it anymore. He was in the middle of explaining when both of their phones emitted the short buzz of a pop-up notification.
Seungmin glared at his screen and saw the email letting him know that Minho's boyfriend had uploaded a new video. He blinked and then looked at his best friend, noticing Minho was already staring at him from across the table. Their phones had buzzed at the same time.
"Felix wants me to help him level up in a game." He muttered, quickly pushing noodles in his mouth.
Minho hummed, chopsticks moving around his own bowl as he stared at his best friend carefully, "Is that why you're staying awake past your bedtime these days?" His tone was careful and Seungmin felt like his best friend was able to see through his clothes.
"How do you know I stay awake?" He blinked.
"I can see the light under your door, idiot." He moved his chopsticks in Seungmin's general direction, "And the wall is thinner than you think, I can hear you."
Seungmin felt his face going red and for a second he felt caught. He wasn't noisy. Specially not compared to how Jisung whined and moaned. In fact, he had thought to be almost silent most times. But the idea of being heard through the thin wall made the heat pour not only on his cheeks, but on his stomach.
It was probably just the spices of the food.
"It's not a big deal if I stay up a bit more some nights." He muttered, and Minho narrowed his eyes. He saw a bit of worry and something else he couldn't quite identify, so he sighed, "It's fine, I won't go to bed too late. Why are you scolding me anyway?" He pointed his chopsticks to Minho, "Jisung always stays up later and you don't tell him anything."
"Jisung can function with three hours of sleep, I know he won't get a headache for lack of sleep." Minho huffed, slurping the last of his noodles.
Seungmin had simply finished his meal, knowing Minho was right. The older one said nothing else, picking the empty bowls and placing them on the sink. "Don't forget the pan and the pot, they're on the stove and you need to rinse them with hot water first."
"Yes, hyung." He mumbled and rolled his eyes, getting up and moving to do the dishes as soon as he was done.
"And don't stay up too late gaming, pup." Minho added while grabbing his phone and moving to go brush his teeth before retiring to his room. There was something in the tone, that made guilt pool in his belly and Seungmin glared at his hyung's back as he went down the hall.
After finishing dishes he brushed and then locked himself on his room, turning off the headlights and letting only the dim bedside table's lamp to illuminate the space. Usually he would've sat to write in his diary and just go to sleep after a while, but today he didn't go to his desk and instead sat with legs crossed on his bed, back resting on the pillows as he reached for his earphones. He found his way to Jisung's channel and the new video he had got notified about.
It was a short video and Seungmin clicked on it. The black screen loaded to an image of Jisung in his bathroom, the shower steam making the glass door cloudy. Jisung was supporting himself on the wall as he pushed a small toy into his ass with a soft moan. "Ah… fuck…" He whimpered, as he pushed it in too fast and had to wait for a couple seconds –heavy breathes being too loud in the bathroom's acoustic– before moving it. Like if he had been desperate for it and hadn't done enough prep before.
Seungmin felt his dick stir in interest without even considering it twice palmed down on himself and fished for his cock. He stroked himself all the way to fully hard before noticing a little detail. The toy Jisung was using was purple, simple silicone, and too small compared to the ones he had seen his friend use in past videos. Realization hit. It was the one he had told Seungmin to buy. The one in Seungmin's favorite color he suggested Seungmin to buy. It was a coincidence and yet.
"Ngh, ah…" Jisung pressed his cheek on the wall, looking at the camera and smirking while making eye contact with Seungmin through the screen. Seungmin's dick throbbed and his heart made a little twist. He moved his hand faster, lying onto his back as Jisung fucked himself faster with the small toy, moaning and whimpering.
After a specially hard push, Jisung trembled and came, at the same time Seungmin pushed onto his fist and came in his pants with a moan a bit too loud as his hand trembled and the phone fell to his face, hitting his nose. "F– Ah!" Panic rushed up his face and Seungmin went dead silent, covering his mouth for a moment and listening carefully for any sign of Minho hearing him. Maybe he was already asleep.
Seungmin sighed, pulling the hand out of his shorts and sitting up. He made his way to the door and sneaked to the bathroom, being careful not to make noise nor turn the light on as he washed his hands and changed underwear quickly. He was careful and yet, when he was to get out of the bathroom, someone pushed at the same time he pulled the door and he knocked his face directly into Minho's head. Minho cursed and Seungmin whined, stepping back,
"Hyung!"
"Fuck–… Kim Seungmin, what are you doing?"
They stared at each other for a second in the dark and Seungmin wished the lack of light hid his flustered face, but considering he was able to see how dark Minho's ear were, he was probably unlucky, "Peeing."
"Why didn't you turn on the light like a normal person?"
"Lazy?" He lied after a second, and he would've avoided Minho's eyes if not for the fact Minho wasn't looking at his eyes but rather at the underwear Seungmin had just discarded on the already piling dirty clothes. Fuck. Fuck. "Anyway, uh, I'm going to sleep now." He muttered, and slipped out of the bathroom quickly, "Goodnight, hyung."
Seungmin felt the other's eyes on him as he crossed to his own door, and only when he was opening it he heard Minho respond, "Goodnight."
He closed the door behind him and let out a sigh before reaching for his phone in bed. He picked it up and unlocked it to like the video, just realizing now that when hitting his face an unreadable combination of letters had been posted as a comment. He was about to delete it –how embarrassing it would be if Jisung saw that– when it received a like from the creator.
mongmon_09: wqdjq
QuokkaBoy0801 @mongmong_09 it had been a while since I used this toy, glad you enjoyed ;)
Seungmin wasn't gonna buy it. Objectively, he shouldn't. He was not a creepy pervert, but he was curious, and before he set his phone on the charger and turned off the light, the toy was added to his cart and bought right away.
The package was delivered next Tuesday while Seungmin was at work. He had been so caught up with his papers that he didn't even see the notification, buried under group chat's texts and other emails he wouldn't check right now, because right now he had to finish editing this chapter. The lines had started to blur a little in his vision when his phone rang. He gave up for a second, letting go of the pen as he fished the device from under the mess on his desk, 'cat hyung' displayed on the screen. He quickly picked up, realizing he had forgotten to tell Minho he was coming home late.
"Seungminnie."
"Sorry, hyung," he sighed into the phone, taking off his glasses to rub his eyes.
The office was almost empty and dark, only a couple desks far from Seungmin remained on as the head lights had been turned off a while ago. Maybe he should go home already, take the papers with him, continue to read on the buss and then in his room. But in the past days it had been impossible to focus on work at home, specially when he was alone behind a closed door. Every time he tried, he became stressed and the logical response was to play one of Jisung's videos and masturbate. He was worried about becoming an addict, and the worse part was that it interfered with his work efficiency, so the only solution had been staying in the office until he got some work done.
"I got caught in the office, forgot to text, I don't think I will make it for dinner," he said to the phone again.
"Did you eat something?." Minho said.
"Uh… yes?" He lied and heard Minho huffing.
"Just come home already, Kim Seungmin, you can finish whatever you're doing tomorrow."
He whined to the phone, "I had a snack not long ago, it's not a big deal, hyung."
"It is."
"Hyung, it's not…"
"Come home, food is getting cold." Minho said, and hung up, not waiting for an answer.
Seungmin pouted to himself and sulked for a couple seconds before realizing he had been reading the same page for a while without making marks or notes. Minho was right, it was already late and he was doing no progress in anything else than screwing his eyesight further. He hated when Minho was right. He pulled his arms high up, stretching his back before moving to clean his desk, turn off his computer and pick up his stuff.
The whole building seemed to be silent as most people had gone home by now, and Seungmin made his way out quickly by the elevator. He said his goodbyes to the guard in the door and tried to shield himself in his light coat from the chill night breeze. It was barely September, but the air had started to change already. The bus ride was also quiet, if he didn't count some students making a fuss over exams. He let his head fall a bit into the window and scrolled down his friend's messages. Jisung and Felix's birthday were next week, but since Felix had some kind of event, they were trying to schedule their usual joined party for the following week, joining it with Seungmin's birthday.
He was not fond of the idea of having a party on his birthday, or going out for drinks and dance at a bar, which seemed to be what Felix was planning. He would prefer to have a quiet evening, eat the kimchi jjigae Minho would surely cook for him like most years, and then watch the movie Jisung –who would come to visit and spend the night bringing a gift and probably talking about how much he would miss to be a hyung for Seungmin, just because he had designated himself one for a few days– would insist on him to pick just for the boy to fall asleep between him and Minho in the couch, head on Seungmin's lap and legs on his boyfriend's or the other way around. He would prefer to brush his teeth next to Minho, with a whiny and sleepy Jisung hanging from his best friend's side, he would prefer to say his good night at the bedroom door and see Minho struggle to carry his boyfriend all the way to his bed, while he went back to his own.
Alone.
Seungmin's grip on his phone tightened a bit before he slid the message to answer in the group chat. Maybe it was a good thing that Felix was planning something different for him this year. So he agreed with a simple 'sounds good' and got up to get off on his stop. He put on his earphones, making sure to blast Day6 songs on high volume to mute his own thoughts the rest of the way home. He took them off only in front of the door, before reaching for his keys and entering.
"I'm home," he called low enough to not alert Minho if he had gone to his room already.
He was not that lucky, Minho was sitting on the couch, phone to his ear and TV on with some anime playing as he held a mug of something warm. His head turned as he heard the door opening, "Seungmin is here." Minho muttered to the phone, eyes on his best friend as he settled down his mug and held the phone properly before reaching for the remote to pause the episode of whatever that was.
He had forgotten Minho and Jisung had this parallel watching shows where they stayed on the phone while playing at the same time on each other end. They had picked up the habit back in college, when Minho took a semester in Japan, before they were even dating officially. It had been a need at first, but now it was more something they did randomly, when Jisung was too tired to come by or they felt like it on the spot.
He changed his shoes for his dog ears slippers as Minho got up, an arm crossed over his black shirt –matching gray sweatpants and cat socks–, and came closer to the entrance, "Jisung says hi, and that he barely saw you today." He said, watching as Seungmin got rid of his light coat too and carried himself towards the kitchen, Minho and the phone following, "No, I'm not putting you on speakers."
Minho rolled his eyes a bit with a badly contained smirk and switched to speakers, leaving the phone on the table, "SEUNGMIN-AH!"
"Hey." He said, with little interest as he reached the bowls Minho had separated for him, inspecting the food and realizing how hungry he actually was as the warm smell made his stomach grumble.
"It's cold already." Minho stopped, getting on the way and grabbing the bowls, "I'll warm it up quickly."
"I can do it myself, hyung." He objected, but Minho moved the stuff to the oven, getting a pan quickly.
He sighed.
"Hey, Seungmin-ah," Jisung called from the phone, "I didn't see you at lunch today. Hyunjin said you were busy with some papers?" He heard his friend munch on something and he pictured Jisung on his sleepwear sitting on the couch and eating delivery food.
"Ah, yeah, a new chapter for an ongoing novel I'm the head editor." He said, "I had the lunch on my desk while working."
"Uh, I see." Jisung said, and Seungmin heard him moving, "Oh, jagiya! Did you told him about the package?"
Seungmin turned to Minho and noticed his best friend's ears getting red. Minho didn't meet Seungmin's eyes as he moved the bowls back to the table where Seungmin had sat to wait. "What package?"
"You received one." Minho muttered, grabbing his phone like he wanted to hit Jisung through it. "I put it in your room." He pointed vaguely, eyes refusing to meet Seungmin's as his blush expanded. He didn't remember the last time he saw Minho blushing for real.
Jisung laughed on the speakers, "It wasn't properly identified so Minho opened without knowing it was yours."
"Jisung!" Minho complained, but his boyfriend kept laughing as the realization didn't hit Seungmin yet. He looked up at his hyung's eyes and this time Minho looked back, but only a second, scoffing and darting his eyes away, "I'm sorry. I didn't touch it, it's still in the box."
Oh. Fuck. The toy. Great.
He felt his own cheeks getting warm and if his skin were as thin as Minho's he would be as red as his hyung was right now. It was not a big deal. He was an adult, with sexual needs, and Minho's boyfriend was a literal camboy. And still, the fact Minho had seen it, made Seungmin feel tingly in a weird way. He didn't even know yet if he liked the stimulation inside, but now Minho surely believed he did.
Jisung laughed again on the phone, breaking the awkward silence, "So… did you buy the one I said? Hyung didn't want to tell me how was it."
"I'm not answering that!" Seungmin said.
"You recommended a dildo to Seungmin?"
"It's not a big deal." Jisung muttered, and he could bet the boy was pouting, "It was a practical advise." He said, and to Seungmin's horror he continued, "You know the small purple one I have? I told him that was a nice starter one! It's not that serious, hyung, it's just a sex toy."
"I did not buy that one." He didn't knew why he was lying but he felt Minho's eyes burn him. He had seen it, so he knew Seungmin had bought exactly what Jisung had recommended. He tried to ignore the awkwardness as he took a spoonful of rice.
"Oh, okay, that's a bit disappointing, I thought you would like that one." Jisung said and Seungmin chocked on the white rice, coughing. Minho hurried to grab a bottle of tea from the fridge for him, and pat his back.
"Jisung, shut up." Minho said to his phone, hand lingering on Seungmin's back.
"What? I mean it! It's a really nice toy."
Seungmin chugged the tea and Minho looked as awkward as he felt, "Yes, I– I know it is, but that's..." He turned off the speakers right in time to cut Jisung's whines, "Can we keep watching another day?" He said, moving a bit away from Seungmin, to talk to his phone, "I'll text you before I go to bed, yes, I love you too."
He heard the call being cut and pretended to be nibbling on his food. There was no point, because Minho drew the other chair open and sat down next to him, staring in a way Seungmin feared it would make holes in his head. He didn't say anything at first, so they sat in silence, while Minho stared and Seungmin ate little bites of his dinner, until he couldn't take it anymore.
"What?"
"Since when do you listen to Jisung's recommendations on buying dildos?" Minho said, and Seungmin noticed he was frowning a bit, "I though you–"
"Why? Can't I buy one?" He interrupted, trying to cover his embarrassment and growing anxiety with words, he knew his face was calm, but he also knew Minho read him like an open book, "It's just a sex toy, I don't see why I can't get one."
"That's not what I said, Seungmin-ah."
"That's what it sounds like." He muttered back, moving the rice around before settling down his chopsticks and pushing the tray away, "You know, I'm really not that hungry."
Minho frowned, and Seungmin expected his hyung to scold him, but Minho barely opened and closed his mouth with a weak 'Seungminnie, wait' when he got up and away from the table. He picked up his backpack and went straight to his room, closing the door without looking back. Maybe he was being a bit childish, Minho hadn't say anything specifically bad, but he felt as embarrassed as pissed off by his questioning. Why couldn't Seungmin have a toy?
He dropped his bag to a side and saw the opened box on his bed, where Minho had left it. The whole thing felt uncomfortable on his stomach so he grabbed the box, not even looking at it, and shoved it in his wardrobe. Whatever. He didn't feel in the mood to explore anyway. He grabbed a towel and after a longer second debating if he wanted to face Minho in the hall, exited his room to take a shower. He heard the noises of dishes being done, meaning that Minho was in the kitchen, so he hurried to lock himself in the bathroom.
It wasn't a big deal, but it itched him as he took off his clothes and got under the water. Minho and him had never talked abut their sexualities, not really, not besides Minho telling Seungmin he was gay. The hyung had never asked anything to Seungmin, and Seungmin had never told him anything in that direction. There was not much to say, he wasn't really interested in that. But for some reason he felt angry Minho had probably assumed that he...
Assumed what? Seungmin wasn't sure. He scrubbed harder on his skin while pouting to himself. That he couldn't bottom? That wouldn't be bad except Seungmin was almost sure Minho was a top, so if Minho thought he was a top too maybe he thought Seungmin and him weren't compatible in bed. His face was red, but mostly because of the hot water and not because the idea of him with Minho in bed was on his mind.
But maybe it wasn't that, maybe Minho had assumed he wasn't even interested in men, and if he was being honest he was probably not interested in men in general. But there was a part of him that was mad Minho could've assumed he only liked girls if anything. He wasn't sure why it bothered. The thoughts kept rushing to his mind as he dried himself off and dressed in his white shorts and loose shirt.
He didn't know either if he liked it, he had only bought the toy because he was curious about how Jisung felt on the lives where he stimulated himself like that. He froze for a second as he stared at himself in the mirror, blinking to his reflection. If Minho was a top and Jisung was a bottom, where could he fit in that picture? He tried to imagine it, and he probably shouldn't have –there was no point on questioning it when he had no place in their bed at all–, but his mind was wandering to places anyway.
Did he wanted to fuck Jisung too? Get fucked by Minho? Or maybe the other way around? No, wait. Get fucked by both of them? Or just watch like a pervert?
He shook his head, tapping his cheeks and sighing to erase the image. He took a couple more breathes before getting out of the bathroom, intending to just go to his room and sleep –he felt the tiredness making his mind heavy and his thoughts too fast and too slow–, but he was met with Minho in the hall. Their eyes met and the hyung pushed himself off the wall, where he had been clearly waiting for Seungmin –Minho wasn't one to drag unnecessary conflicts too much.
"Seungminnie." Minho called, voice softer, like before, when Seungmin left the table hurriedly.
He drifted his eyes away, towel hanging around his shoulders, hair still wet helping to hide the way his cheeks went warm, "What?"
"I'm sorry."
"About what?" Seungmin muttered, turning off the bathroom light and trying to pass by Minho and towards his room, but the older one followed him, not giving Seungmin the time to close the door. "I don't care you opened the box, hyung."
"You know it's not that." Minho said, crossing his arms, not buying Seungmin's nonchalant demeanor.
"It's not–"
"I didn't meant to imply you couldn't get a sex toy or whatever you're thinking."
Seungmin avoided looking at Minho, his whole face feeling warm, as dried his hair with the towel and pretended he wasn't overthinking it. Minho didn't tear his eyes away, reading through Seungmin like one would read through a kid's book, "I just didn't think you were interested in sex at all." He added and Seungmin stopped, glaring at the older and finding the way Minho's eyes softened.
"I've known you for long, and you never…" Minho gestured with his hand in a vague form that Seungmin wasn't sure what it meant exactly, but at the same time he heard the words that weren't said. Seungmin was never into people, he was never into porn, he was never into sexual stuff, he was always silent and uninterested when Felix exposed his sexual life with Chan openly for their friend's group, he had never brought anyone home nor dated nor cared about it.
Seungmin knew if there was someone who knew him the best, that was Minho.
He looked away, not really sure how to explain that he was right, technically Seungmin wasn't too interested in sex as a general thing. But there was Jisung, and Jisung's channel, and how good it felt –warm and easy. And he was curious. Just curious.
"Well, I–…"
"I thought you just didn't like it." Minho shrugged, "It's not a bad thing. And it's not a bad thing if you do, either, you can be interested in whatever you want I guess, look, Jisung likes tentacle porn–"
"I know." Seungmin couldn't help to mutter, with a soft scoff that resembled a laugh, "He said he wanted to buy a tentacle dildo," he added, and saw the tip of Minho's ears redden as he also let out a soft laugh.
"Yeah, he's still deciding the size, but he's definitely getting one more in his collection."
"Collection? How many does he…?" He bit his lip as Minho raised an eyebrow.
His stomach was warm and he cleared his throat. "What I mean is… you're not wrong, hyung. I'm not…" He shrugged, still holding the towel as he sat down on the bed. Minho got closer, sitting next to him, arms still crossed but eyes softer, "I'm just curious."
"Um… is it because of someone?"
Seungmin's head moved up quickly, eyes finding Minho's, "What?"
"Jisung told me that…," Minho started, face calm, like he was talking about the weather, "you're really close to a guy in your office."
He blinked, "A guy in my office?"
"Yeah." Minho frowned, "Hm. Jun. Hun. Jim? Something like that?"
"Hyunjin?"
Minho nodded, remembering the name and what Jisung said more precisely, "Yeah, yeah, Jisung said he sits with you two for lunch and that you guys talk about random stuff and we know you're not too friendly."
"You think I like Hyunjin?" Seungmin frowned a bit, back straightening as he couldn't think what had Jisung saw to believe that, "He's just an acquaintance! Well, huh, maybe a friend. But he's not– I mean, I don't–"
For some reason that seemed to relax Minho's shoulders and an unknown tension disappeared from his face. "So you're not curious because you want to bottom for him?"
"No!"
"Just curious in general?"
"Yeah."
"Oh."
Seungmin bit his lip before letting out a long breath, trying to explain himself. There was certainly Jisung's videos influencing him and making him feel curious about bottoming or how anything would feel inside, but there was more to it.
"I'm almost thirty and I don't know what I like, hyung." He started, muttering in a quick embarrassed way, "You know? I feel like I don't know my own body. At least not in that way." Seungmin shook his head, rubbing his neck, "It's not a big deal, just curiosity. And… the one Jisung recommend seemed as good as any other."
Minho hummed and they sat in silence for a moment.
"So it's not about you forcing yourself into something you don't like for someone?" He muttered after a bit, and the awkwardness was erased as soon as Seungmin noticed Minho had just been worried about him.
"No, it's not that, hyung."
The tip of Minho's ears were red when he nodded and got up, "Okay then." He was unable to meet Seungmin's eyes, "Exploring your own body is fine…" He said, low voice, almost like he was suddenly shy and unsure how to keep the conversation going now that the worry was gone.
Seungmin arched an eyebrow, curious about the way Minho moved to the door, and then stopped, looking unsure, like if he wanted to add something else but felt shy. Minho wasn't particularly shy with Seungmin –or with any of their close friends, and they did a lot of dirty jokes sometimes when they drank. But the two of them had never talked about sex or sexual matters openly with each other. Minho turned around.
"Um, Seungminnie?"
"Yes, hyung?"
"You know it's okay if you discover you don't like it and that you're not interested in it, right?"
"In bottoming?" Seungmin blinked.
Minho nodded and then shook his head, sighing, "In general, in sex. You don't have to like it or be interested in having sex."
Their eyes met and Seungmin felt his heart skip a bit, he was not sure why those words made him feel lighter. Minho didn't look away, expecting an answer, and Seungmin nodded, clearing his throat and casting his eyes downwards.
"Okay." The older said, rubbing the back of his neck and stepping out of the room, dragging the door closed behind him, "Good night."
"Good night, hyung."
It wasn't as easy as Jisung made it seem in his videos, and when Seungmin discovered that even with lubed fingers he couldn't just shove three all the way and then use the toy, he was a bit frustrated. The first finger hadn't been much of a struggle, it was surprisingly easy to push past the ring of muscle and just keep it inside. He had struggle more with the angle of his wrist and the position to reach while he was lying on his bed –he had concluded that as embarrassing as lying with his ass pointing up was, it was also the easier way.
It was a weird feeling. He stayed like that for a couple minutes, trying to decide if he liked the feeling of having something inside or not. It wasn't much of a stretch so he wasn't sure, it didn't feel bad, just… like having a finger inside. Of course he had moved it, twisted it a bit –he was supposed to feel something there, right?– but it didn't do much for him and frustrated he had just given up on his first try.
The next time he decided to jerk off while he was on it, so it would feel less clinical. The position was uncomfortable, his face into the pillow as he had to use both arms, but somehow he got breathy much faster than usual and the feeling of something inside was good and probably had something to do with it feeling better while touching his dick. That became a new problem as he rushed it the next couple times –Wednesday and Thursday while watching Jisung's live– and was not able to make it to a second finger as he came too fast.
In his next proper try it took him some goddamn determination to not touch his dick –or rather to stop when he felt close– and breathe before pushing a second finger. He wanted to be able to use the toy, so he couldn't just keep dragging this, he was supposed to stretch himself to manage the dildo inside at some point. And this was taking forever, but two fingers felt a bit like a stretch and he wasn't sure how to relax further as it felt already a bit full and kinda tight. Was it really supposed to work? He tried to push a third too fast and the muscle didn't let it pass so he had to breathe into his pillow for a few seconds, trying to decide between pulling out or keep going –he didn't even want to cum anymore. He tried to keep going but at some point he got bored and just gave up for the night.
Seungmin was frustrated to the point he didn't care the looks Minho gave him every time he went to bed early that week. The next week came too soon and before he noticed he made it to the next Thursday morning without being able to go further than two fingers and rutting against the bed.
"Seungmin, are you listening to me?" Minho waved a hand in front of the younger's face and he blinked, realizing he had been staring at his breakfast for too long without bringing anything to his mouth.
He had zoned out. Again. Fuck. He needed to stop thinking about shoving fingers up his ass in daylight at least –he couldn't control if he woke up at 3am and felt like it was a good idea to try it then to make himself sleepy again, but he could try to be normal at the table.
"Seungmin."
"Hm. Yes, hyung?" He looked up before picking back his chopsticks and going for the rice.
"I was saying Jisung's birthday is today." Minho said, he was still in his sleepy clothes, his morning run cancelled by the soft rain outside, "So I told him to come for dinner tonight and…"
Seungmin hummed, his mouth half full yet as he answered without letting Minho finish, "Ah, okay, I will eat out then."
The older frowned. "Don't be stupid, I just told you I'm making a special dinner."
"Yeah, for Jisung's birthday." He blinked dumbly up at Minho, who was standing there, with just his coffee mug, staring at Seungmin as if he was the stupidest dog. "Don't you mean it's gonna be a romantic dinner for the two of you and you want privacy…?"
"What? No." Minho scoffed, "I'm telling you so you don't decide it's a good day to be working late in the office."
"Oh, but hyung…"
"No." Minho turned to let his mug on the sink, his tone softening, "I'll cook for three people and after it we're watching whatever movie Jisung decides. And I mean the three of us."
Seungmin felt his cheeks going slightly warm by the time Minho turned around –his ears also reddening a bit. He had been a third wheel for Minho and his boyfriend a lot of times, since before they started dating even. And if he was being honest, at the beginning he didn't even feel like he was interrupting or bothering them. In fact, they always invited him around, to the movies, to the park, to the library. Before their dates were actual dates Seungmin had not only been allowed to be there but he was invited to.
It was different now. Time had passed, he no longer got invited to their dates –it would've been a bit weird–, and there was also the fact that Seungmin had been getting himself off to Jisung's videos. Still he couldn't tell Minho that, it would definitely make it awkward, so instead he nodded, stuffed more rice in his mouth and with a calm voice he said, "Okay, but if he falls asleep on me and drools again I'm pushing him off the sofa."
Minho hummed in agreement, that was fair.
The last time he could recall finding himself invited to join his best friend's romantic plans it had been during Minho's last year of college. Minho had planned a trip for the short free week they got before the spring semester's finals, and that was how Seungmin found himself in the window seat during their fly to Japan.
Osaka.
Seungmin had never been on Japan before that, so even if he had to witness his friends holding hands or Jisung cheesy pouting, he got to take nice pictures and try nice food –all paid by his generous hyung or Jisung, when his best friend was grumpy. The trip overall had been good, most days Seungmin passed out as soon as he touched the bed on their shared hotel room.
Sharing a room hadn't been much of a problem: Seungmin was already used to Jisung hanging around their place all the time and he and Minho had been roommates for a couple years by then. It was a bit annoying when Jisung took too long in the bathroom or they were rushing to brush their teeth so they could make it to their day's plan. But over all it wasn't too bad, he had got to pick which bed he wanted –the one on the balcony side obviously– and his friends shared the other, leaving him to sleep in peace.
At least until the last night of their trip.
The day before their departure they had less time to be outside, they had done some sightseeing around the city and ate at that place Minho had discovered and took a liking on, but most of the afternoon was dedicated to packing the mess Han Jisung had made of their room, closet and bathroom. Seungmin finished his own bag quick enough, he hadn't brought much stuff so he ended up lying in bed and texting Felix as the other two moved around and sat on theirs to make sure the luggage closed properly –as they were now bigger with souvenirs.
Seungmin had been too lazy to go out for dinner so he opted for taking the hotel's buffet food as his friends went out to waste their last night in Japan. He didn't do much after that, lying on his side in bed, turned to the balcony as he scrolled a bit. It was around midnight and he still didn't felt sleepy –probably because today had been less active than the rest of the week and he was always a bit anxious with planes and needing to make it in time– when he heard the door open. He had put his phone down and turned a bit, just to glare at his friends, ask how dinner was, and if had been so good they took this long.
He heard them before he saw them: the room dark and their figures cut on the cold light coming from the hall. It was Jisung's voice, with a giggle, "Hyung," He complained in a whisper and vaguely Seungmin caught that it had been him opening the door as Minho was perched to his back, "Stop." He whined and chuckled as Minho dived to his neck, "Seungminnie could hear us…" His vocals slurred, and by the way he giggled and Minho didn't let go, they were drunk.
Seungmin quickly turned back to the balcony side, feeling his face red as Minho whispered when the door closed behind them, letting the room fall back into full darkness: "He's asleep already."
"Then we're gonna wake him up, stoop–" Jisung whined and Seungmin guessed the wet sounds that followed were kisses.
"Not if you're quiet."
His face was burning and his eyes were wide open, staring at the balcony's curtain. He should've moved, made them notice that he was wide awake, but he didn't. He heard the mattress protest when their joined weight went down on it, and more kisses accompanied by the fabric struggle and heavy breathings cut by occasional whines and moans coming mostly but not exclusively from Jisung.
He should've turned, maybe just sat up and pretend he just woke up and escape to the bathroom as he pretended that it was dark enough for him not to tell his friends were fucking. Because they were, right? He should've let them know he could hear every little sound coming from Jisung and every tiny moan that escaped Minho. He could tell they were trying to be quiet by the way between the whispered praises and reassurances there were as well warnings and curses every time Jisung let a particularly high pitch moan.
He should've done something, anything, but he didn't. He couldn't. His face was burning with embarrassment and he tried to press his eyes really hard and fall asleep, he tried to ignore the sounds, but once his brain picked up on them he couldn't stop imagining what they were doing to sound like that. A part of Seungmin wanted to turn around for a reason he buried deep down and ignored. But that part of him couldn't risk them knowing that he was awake and that he was semi hard in his pants.
Seungmin stayed there, eyes closed tight as his mind imagined what he couldn't see: Minho's hands on Jisung's body, the younger arching a bit as Minho stroked his cock and they kissed messily –it was barely a kiss anymore considering how breathy they sounded and how Jisung's moans had become more frequent, falling one right after the other in between Minho's sweet praises. Minho was probably between his boyfriend's legs, maybe inside him, maybe not, maybe just rutting against the bed to the image of Jisung falling apart.
Seungmin dragged in a ragged breath, turning to lie with his face into the pillow and over his stomach. They didn't even notice. The thought of rutting down passed through his brain, but he didn't dare.
"Hyung, ah, hyung, ngh, I'm cumming… ah, I'm cumming…"
"Me too, baby, ah…"
Seungmin felt his own cock twitch when Jisung let out a last high pitch whine and Minho moaned right after. Then there was some low sounds, kisses, maybe. He heard the bed creak and the sound of bedsheets rustling and soft whispers as Minho convinced Jisung he couldn't just sleep there with cum drying on his stomach.
He didn't move, not until he was sure both of them were asleep. Only then did he sit up and quickly made it to the bathroom, not bothering to turn on the lights before getting a hand in his pants.
Seungmin had almost forgot about it when that Thursday the clock hit five thirty in the afternoon and he was deep in his work –glasses falling a bit from the bridge of his nose, eyes staring at the screen as he scrolled down the document– when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He blinked, jolting a bit and turned to be met by Jisung on his side, smiling as if he hadn't work the same eight hours shift as Seungmin.
"You still have stuff to do?" Jisung said, glaring at the screen and picking the next desk's chair to sit with him.
"Hm…" He looked at his screen again, but shook his head and turned the monitor off, moving to pick up his stuff, "Yes, but my eyes are no longer working anyway, I will keep on it tomorrow."
"You work too hard, Seungminnie~" Jisung said in a whiny tone, twisting in the chair, eyes on Seungmin as the boy moved around to get ready to leave. "You know resting is important, right?"
"I'm not joining you and Hyunjin for gossip breaks at the coffee station." He replied, plain tone as he adjusted the bag on his shoulder and started to head towards the elevator.
Jisung basically jolted out of his chair, matching Seungmin's pace with a couple big steps and throwing an arm around his shoulders before they reached the metal doors. Seungmin ignored the way he felt warm at the gesture and pressed the button as if he didn't mind the closeness. "Yah, this hyung is just worried about your workaholic tendencies."
Seungmin rolled his eyes. "Sure, Jisung."
Jisung pouted and Seungmin pretended not to look at his lips as they entered the elevator. He had been calling himself that all day, alleging Seungmin should use the honorific until next week when they became the same age again. "You know, for someone who hasn't gotten me a gift."
"I got you a gift."
"Yeah, yeah, but deliver is late, right?"
"Yup." Seungmin said, looking at them on the doors reflection.
Jisung wrapped himself on Seungmin's side, the way he was smaller than Seungmin made it look funny when he put his arm around the younger's shoulders.
"Well, the effect is the same as not getting me one, but I could forgive you if…" he poked Seungmin's cheek with his finger, "You called me hyung."
"I won't. You're not my hyung." Seungmin scoffed and Jisung sulked, not minding when the doors opened and people joined them on a lower floor. Seungmin tried to pull away but Jisung just got closer, pressing his puffy cheeks to the other's shoulder.
"You're so mean some times…" He said in a dramatic tone, not minding the people and then, in a lower tone that Seungmin wasn't sure if it was meant for his ears at all, "I don't know why I like you."
He felt warm in his cheeks, and a bit guilty. It was Jisung's birthday after all. He hadn't made his mind to what to get him for his birthday until very late. He ended up buying a couple plushies –the nerdy type, fan-made, from one of Jisung's favorite manga–, knowing Jisung liked to keep a lot of those in what he called his nest –he had asked once, and to this day he regretted but now had a full knowledge of what omegaverse was. He sighed as the doors opened and, still reluctant, "Come on… hyung, I'll get you cheesecake on the way home from that store you like…"
The way Jisung lit up at that single word may have been overdone –bright eyes and big smile as he clung to Seungmin on their way out of the building, telling him how cute he was and to call him that again– but Seungmin's heart's turn matched it. On the way home, even after taking his arm from Seungmin's shoulders, Jisung kept himself annoyingly close and after they got off the bus he carried the cheesecake with both hands, all the way from the desserts store two blocks down their place to Seungmin's apartment.
Seungmin twisted the key and pushed the door open, letting the now happy Jisung slip inside first.
"Jagiya, we're home! Look! Seungminnie got me cheesecake." He called, his boyfriend appeared from the kitchen with messy hair and some sauce on his apron. Jisung stopped, eyeing him upside-down.
"Hi, baby," Minho smirked, noticing Jisung's glare and coming close enough to kiss him hello before noticing the cheesecake –not a portion, a whole one, a mini one, but still more than a single slice. "Um? Oh… uh… i got you a slice too from that store too." Minho muttered, looking at Seungmin over Jisung and meeting his eyes as the birthday boy smiled big again, excited like a kid.
"Oh God, I'm the luckiest man!" He said, kissing his boyfriend's cheek in a noisy way that made Minho's ears red before rushing to the fridge, "Can I have one now?"
"No, wait… you should wait for dinner and we can share–" Minho said, gaining a side glare.
"You never share your birthday pudding with me."
Minho opened his mouth to object that he never got as much pudding as Jisung was getting cheesecake tonight but Seungmin interrupted, "He's right. And just let him have a slice now, hyung." He said, finally stepping inside after discarding his shoes and bag aside, "I'll take a bath before he upsets his stomach."
"YAH!" Jisung complained from the table, where he was already opening the container to get his slice. He said something else, but Seungmin ignored it and made his way to his room before getting to the shower.
The night went pretty smooth.
They ate around the table while Jisung shared with them the office gossip and what he got from Felix and Chan as a present. Seungmin did the dishes as the couple took a shared shower –he put some music on his phone just in case they got freaky, but it remained quiet– and once they came out they settled on the couch. Jisung sat in the middle, extended his legs over Minho's lap and rested his head on Seungmin's thighs, picking the reality show he wanted to watch and demanding Seungmin's hand on his hair –grabbing the younger's fingers and settling them on his recently permed hair.
Seungmin couldn't care less about the show, his hand remained frozen for a whole second until Jisung glared up with big boba eyes, "Pet."
Seungmin scoffed at Jisung's pouty face and rolled his eyes a bit, but soon enough worked his fingers into his friend's scalp and started massaging softly. Jisung melted, contently settling further into Seungmin's lap, a hand coming to the soft skin of the thigh his cheek was pressed upon. His eyes went back to the screen but Seungmin's didn't, feeling a familiar warmth settle in his chest as his fingers worked through Jisung's hair, the locks softly slipping between his long digits. Jisung remained relaxed, his eyes closing a bit but never moving form the screen, cheeks flustered since he came out of the shower, lips slightly pouting as he occasionally let out pleased hums to the petting, unaware of the weird spell he had put over his friend.
It took Seungmin a couple of seconds too long to blink away from the charm and tear his head back up, instinctively looking to his left and feeling his own face red when he was met by Minho's eyes staring at him. He wasn't sure why the way the hyung's eyes were fixating on him made his heart bump faster and the warm feeling spread lower towards his belly. There was something like curiosity in Minho's pupils, something dark, something similar to hunger but half away from carrying the affectionate glint he had seen before on Minho's eyes when he looked at his boyfriend.
The moment was broken by Jisung's stirring, a complaining sound leaving him as he looked up, sleepy boba eyes towards Seungmin again, to see why the boy stopped petting him. Minho looked away first, eyes going to his boyfriend's pout, and Seungmin imitate him quickly meeting Jisung's face.
"It's kinda late," he muttered, "I should go to bed. We still have to work tomorrow." He excused himself, waiting for Jisung to get up so he could escape to his room.
Jisung didn't seem happy with the idea and started what would've been a complaint if Minho hadn't intervened, "Sung, come on, let's get you to sleep too, baby, it's late." He called, hand pulling Jisung's shirt just a bit till the younger got up, just enough for Seungmin to slip off the sofa. He took his chance quick, before Jisung was fully up and leaning towards his boyfriend instead, legs still on Minho's lap.
"But you haven't give me my gift, hyung, and you promised…"
"I…." His ears were red and he lowered to whisper something on Jisung's ear that made him giggle.
"Fine. What time is it?" He yawned.
"Ten thirty." Minho said and that seemed to make Jisung stir, his eyes shinning with some excitement as he shared a silent conversation with his boyfriend.
Seungmin felt awkward, jealousy stirring a bit in his chest and making him feel bad at the idea of the couple leaving him out, for the first time in the night. He cleared his throat, "I'm going to bed. Goodnight, hyung, Jisung-ah."
Both of them turned towards him.
"Goodnight, Seungminnie." Jisung said, but he seemed to be caught in his mind as he got up, picking up the remote to turn off the TV and helping clean the left over plates on the coffee table from his dessert –like if he wanted to get to bed the fastest possible.
"Goodnight." Minho echoed as Seungmin walked to his door and prepared to sleep –he wrote a quick entrance in his journal and changed to his pajamas before realizing he forgot to wash his teeth. When he went out to the bathroom the living room's lights were already off and he guessed Minho had no problem to lure Jisung to sleep after whatever treat he had promised.
He didn't thought much about it, rinsed his mouth, turned off the lights and went back to his room. He had a long day, work had been tiring and though the time with his friends had been more than enjoyable –he loved to team up with Minho to tease Jisung, his hyung's food was always good and even if he wouldn't admit it he loved when Jisung cuddled on him– he did feel like he needed to sleep yet. He closed the door and padded towards the bed, throwing himself on the mattress with a muffled sound and staying right there, face down, for a couple seconds.
The imagine of Jisung's face pressed on his thigh as the boy breathed softly pleased hums to the movement of Seungmin's fingers on his hair came back to his mind. He couldn't say it was that weird or new. Jisung was touchy, he had always been in a way. He loved to put his arm around Seungmin, grab him by the elbow and even hold hands if his first option –Minho– wasn't there. He had suffered from it greatly at college once Minho had graduated and wasn't around the campus much. And it had never really stopped once they got their own degrees and managed to get a job at the same company.
Felix was also cuddly as a friend and Jisung had always supported the Australian on his saying that Seungmin was comfy to hug. Whatever that meant. Point was, that type of physical affection wasn't weird between them. It wasn't a daily occurrence anymore, but far were the days Seungmin had cringed out of his very cuddly friends. Sometimes he still did, mostly if they were drunk or annoying, but most times he would indulge them. That was the correct wording for it: Seungmin would indulge Jisung and let him cuddle if he wanted to. Because it was a treat for his friend, not because he was touch starved or something.
And yet, as his mind went back to the picture and how warm Jisung's smaller hand felt on the skin above his knee, he felt his face warm and weird feelings overlapped onto his throat. He pushed himself up, it was better to just turn off the light and go to sleep. He was already pushing himself down the covers and reaching for the night lamp when there was a small buzz on his phone. Maybe it was nothing, probably nothing, but he still reached and read the notification that made him stop on his tracks.
QuokkaBoy0801 is now live.
It was Thursday. Jisung always went live on Thursdays. But this Thursday Jisung was not at his apartment, he was in the room next to Seungmin.
He felt the heat pooling in his stomach and he sat up, reaching for his earphones –the task of turning off the lamp forgotten. He put them on, but doubted before getting in the live. Was it really okay? He had been watching Jisung's videos and getting off to him on the lives too. But somehow it felt different knowing he was on the other side of the wall right now. Would Minho be on the live too? Was that the gift he was talking about to Jisung before? Would that make it weird for Seungmin to watch?
He pressed his knees together and decided that if they were okay with putting it online it was okay for Seungmin to be a little bit of a a perv, give in to the voyeur need to see and know what was happening behind his wall, to watch them. It was not like he was gonna open their door and actually spy on them, so he connected to the live, earphones on as he reached on his bedside table for the used bottle of lube.
The video loaded just in time to show Jisung on the screen, smiling as he read some comments. It was yet the initial talk, where Jisung acknowledged his regular watchers. Seungmin always skipped it, and waited a couple minutes to get in the live, because he didn't need Jisung's camboy's persona flirting with viewers, teasing in a push an pull way. But the way Jisung's eyes shinned and he smirk grew as he saw Seungmin's username on the chat got sparkles on his skin.
"Oh, welcome, mongmong, I'm glad you deciding to join us tonight too." He said and Seungmin's eyes nervously inspected the frame, "Tonight's special, because it's my birthday."
Usually the lights on Jisung's room were warm, orange-like, but Minho only had one set of neon lights –a gift from Felix because the boy said they were cool– and they were purple. The camera had less quality that usual, probably because it was a webcam hanging on top of Minho's monitor instead of the ones with professional lenses Jisung used regularly. But it was clear enough to see the bed where Jisung was sitting, Minho's bed, simple dark bedsheets and a plain wall behind the headboard. It was clear enough for Seungmin to notice Jisung was wearing the same hoodie from before –black, oversized, some kind of alien imprint on it, one he had left behind in their apartment time ago– but his pants were gone, his thighs fully exposed.
"And as the birthday boy, I'm getting a little treat by hyung." Jisung's eyes went offscreen and Minho got in the frame –this time there was no mask–, climbing to the bed, next to Jisung, who broke into a more sincere smile and pulled him closer as the live's comments went crazy on how handsome he was and asking Minho to wreak Jisung right there and then, "Can I know what my gift is now, hyung?"
"You're really impatient, aren't you?" Minho said, glaring at the camera and then moving almost out of the frame, there was some rustle. Jisung's eyes grew round, his mouth hanging a bit open as Minho held what seemed like a glass plug which handle was a heart. "Do you like it?"
Jisung had plugs, Seungmin had seen him use them on videos, but he seemed to really like this one. He grabbed it with care, fingers trying the smooth transparent surface, "It's pretty." He shared a silent look with Minho and then came closer to the camera, showing it, "What do you guys, think? Should we try it tonight?"
There were some comments with suggestions and requests, but Jisung didn't seemed convinced of any of them. Minho pulled him back by the waist, kissing the skin on his neck and making the younger melt as he kept eying the words popping on his screen, "They want to see me suck your cock." He laughed, cheeks a bit red, "It's supposed to be my birthdays, shouldn't I be the one–…" Minho cut his complaint by grabbing Jisung's chin and making him turn for a kiss.
Jisung melted right away, opening his lips for Minho to take control. Seungmin felt warm all over and couldn't take his eyes from the screen as Minho deepened the kiss. He kissed the camboy sweetly, with the same care he put on the little pecks Seungmin had seem from them before, but he also kissed the boy with hunger, a dark look on his narrowed eyes as he pushed further and disarmed Jisung towards the mattress.
"But you love sucking cock, baby, and you look so pretty doing it," Minho whispered, loud enough for the mic to catch it between their ragged breathes and the bedsheets ruffle, low enough for it to be meant only for the boy lying below. "I could put this on you first," he added, Jisung chasing his lips with a little whine as Minho took the plug out of his hand and placed it on top of Jisung's stomach, "And then feed you my cook. Wouldn't being full be a great treat for the birthday boy?"
There was something unfamiliar in Minho's voice. Something hot that dripped from the slow syllables and the way he caressed Jisung's cheek and pushed his face to look at the camera before whispering something only for him that made the boy moan. Seungmin had seen his friend falling apart on camera many times by now, but this was the first time he felt like Jisung let go for real and turned off his brain. It was like a switch being turn, the way Jisung nodded with a soft sound and an easily begged, not only wanting but needing what Minho was promising.
"Please-e, please, hyung, I wanna be full." Jisung whined and it went straight to Seungmin's dick.
Was it that good? Was it really that good that Jisung was begging for it? Seungmin needed to know.
"Yes, baby, I'll fill you." Minho answered with a soft kiss on his bottom lip before pulling back up to a sitting position between Jisung's legs. He patted the camboy on the side of his exposed thigh, "Why don't you get into position, all pretty exposed so they can see you while I open you up."
Seungmin maneuvered with his phone and pillow, stopping a second and hurrying to lock the door before coming back to lie on his stomach above one of the pillow. He felt a little embarrassed but Jisung on the screen had arched his back in a way that was way more mortifying, so he tried not to think about it. Nobody was watching him anyway, while Jisung was being seen by multiple strangers. Jisung's ass was pointed up, back arched in a pretty way. His boxers were still on as Seungmin positioned his own phone against the headboard and propped himself on one elbow, trying to get more comfortable.
Minho slapped Jisung's ass on the screen and the boy let out a high pitch sound, hiding his face into the mattress as if he was suddenly embarrassed. "It's okay, baby, you're so pretty like this." He praised, hand slowly going lower to caress and grope the bare skin of Jisung's thighs, who wordlessly opened them further, not needing instructions –or as if the instructions were carved in his memory.
Seungmin took a deep breathe watching as Minho grabbed the waistband and pulled Jisung's boxers down just enough to expose his skin to the air and release his dick, which jolted, already hard. He didn't know where to put his eyes: the bit of ink revealed, the honey skin, the way Jisung impatiently pushed his ass further back when the hyung moved to get the lube. Seungmin reached for his own bottle, but didn't opened it, not able to look away from Minho's short fingers, the slick coating them as he rubbed the digits together and then teased the camboy's entrance.
"Please…" Jisung muttered, turning his head slightly and getting a glimpse of the webcam. It was like making eye contact through the screen, which sent a shiver down Seungmin's spine and got him to uncap his own bottle and shakily coat his fingers. "Hyung-g…"
"Shh, I'm on it, you need to be patient, baby." Minho coaxed, pushing one digit inside and making the birthday boy moan.
Seungmin fumbled a bit on himself, pushing his own boxers and shorts down and blindly searching with his lubed hand until he found a good angle to poke at his own entrance. His eyes were all over the screen as he tried to coat the muscle ring with lube, wanting to catch up with the easy way Jisung took Minho's finger all the way to the knuckle. He had been trying for days, he could do one finger easy now. He pushed it as soon as the position was right, and it was a bit too fast. It burned, but the little pain of the sudden intrusion didn't make him recoil but to moan lowly.
Minho lowered himself a bit on Jisung's back, kissing the exposed skin of his arching form before pressing a second digit in and gaining a whine as the boy pushed his knees further apart –as much as the boxer's waistband stretch allowed it. Jisung let out soft sounds with every drag of his boyfriend's fingers, hips moving back slightly and face half pressed into the bedsheets. And then, all of the sudden, Minho pushed his fingers inside like he wanted to reach something deeper and Jisung let out a high moan, making Seungmin let out some short of pathetic sound as his own single finger couldn't reach for that spot yet and Minho smirked.
"Hyung… please… please I wanna cum…" Jisung muttered, pushing his hips further back and whining as Minho avoided the bundle of nerves.
"You said you wanted to be full, baby." He said and Seungmin bit his lip as Jisung wiggled his hips backwards in a desperate gesture.
"I want, I want t-to be full." The boy complained and pressed his face into the mattress while gripping onto the bedsheets, "But I wanna… it feels good, ah, hyung… I really wanna cum… please, can I? Please… I will be good."
Seungmin shivered and pushed a second finger in himself, biting down the small gasp breaking past his lips when the stretch burned. Jisung made it look so easy. Maybe because Minho's fingers were better somehow. Seungmin wasn't sure why or how, because Minho's were shorter than his and slightly thicker. He closed his eyes for a second, pressing his face on the bed as he tried to breathe and scissor himself, wrist aching a bit.
"You will be good?" Minho said in his earbuds and Seungmin let out a soft gasp.
"Yes." He muttered, curling his fingers in the right way to feel electricity going up his spine and making his toes curl as Jisung echoed on his ear: "Yes, hyung, please…"
"Hm, lets see what they say, should we let our quokka boy cum already?" The hyung said, reaching with his free hand to grab Jisung by the hair, turning his head towards the camera.
Seungmin looked up to his phone and to the pretty way Jisung blinked to his webcam. Fuck. He reached with his free hand and struggled, cursing as he refused to get his other hand, and managed to comment and tip. Minho smirked ans Seungmin putted his phone back against the headboard, "Oh, okay, you get to cum once now, because it's your birthday and you're asking so nicely, but only if you promise to be good and keep with our plan to get you full."
Jisung nodded, hair getting messy and the cheek against the bed puffed out in a way that made Seungmin remember the way he had lied on his thigh with almost the same pout. The difference was that Jisung had been sleepy before while now he moaned desperately and got a hand under himself to reach for his cock. Minho didn't stop him and instead gripped his thigh with his free hands, fingers pounding faster in Jisung as the boy got a hand around himself and started stroking himself with soft 'thank you's falling from his lips.
Seungmin tried to copy, but if he moves his free hand to reach down for his aching dick, he wouldn't be able to watch properly. He let out a soft complaining whine and sighed, "Fuck…" Biting his lip he took a second to think before pulling his fingers out and siting up a bit.
Jisung's moans were in his ears all the time as he readjusted the pillow in a way he was able to rut into it once he lied down again with a soft relieved sound now that he was getting some proper pressure on his dick. He would've to wash the pillow later, but right now he couldn't care less. He humped his pillow and reached back again, two fingers sliding easily inside this time as his eyes tracked back to Jisung touching his dick while Minho fucked him with now three fingers.
Seungmin noticed the addition and took a shaky breathe, a bit unsure before poking with a third finger on his entrance. It hurt. It burned. But Seungmin pushed past it and there was still enough lube coating the skin to make it work through the tight ring of muscle. He breathed through it, focusing on his own sounds and the way he was panting, saliva pooling a bit in his mouth and dick softening slightly.
He didn't want to move his fingers, he had only got half the way in, but he couldn't get himself to push further. It hurt. A part of him wanted to stop and just jerk off. It hurt. The burning wasn't even good. He battled with it, loosing sight of his phone's screen and forgetting the whole thing, until Minho's voice made it through the noise in his head and Jisung's moans on his earbuds.
"You're so good, look at you. You're doing great, baby," the hyung said. Seungmin felt a shiver down his back and he arched a bit with a small moan, rutting onto the pillow as his fingers pushed deeper, "Are you gonna cum, baby?"
"Yes, yes–" Jisung babbled and Seungmin forced his eyes open to see the sloppy slide of the hand, the possessive grip of Minho on his boyfriend and the way Jisung's mouth hanged open with a moan when he got closer and closer to the edge.
Seungmin bit softly on his lip and with a deep breathe moved his fingers slowly, eyes on the screen as his ears were muffled by Jisung's pretty sounds and Minho's soft praises. He focused on the feeling, the burning becoming lighter, less a painful thing and more an enjoyable tingle. It became easier, the digits sliding further each time. He poked around a bit, stretching as he moved the fingers in and out slowly, looking for that nerves bundle he had found days before. Jisung's little moans grew desperate and Seungmin glared at the screen again just in time to see his friend coming into his fist at the same time his own fingers found the right spot.
He felt his brain go blank, static all over his skin, as Jisung on the screen spurred white on his fingers and bedsheets, pushing back to Minho's hand with his legs trembling a bit. Seungmin bit down a moan, pressing his temple to the bed and taking one deep breath. That had feel great, even if he didn't cum. He heard Minho whispering praises again, talking Jisung down from his high, "You did great, baby, look at you."
The hyung kissed Jisung's back and pulled his fingers out, cleaning the excess of lube on the honey skin and kissing again towards the boy's hipbone. Jisung let out a pathetic pleased sound, breathing heavily and looking flustered, but still on position because he didn't have permission to move.
Minho reached for the plug, almost forgotten on the bedsheets and pressed the cold glass material against Jisung's leg, gaining a small whine, "Do you want it now? I bet you already feel empty without my fingers."
Seungmin had stopped moving his own fingers, too focused on understanding the feelings in his body, when he looked back at the screen, Jisung nodding again and Minho caressing his legs and back with one lazy hand, "No, baby, words."
"Please-e… I want it."
An idea flashed through his head and Seungmin glared at the drawer. Maybe. Minho on the screen hummed and let a kiss on Jisung's ass cheek before teasing the plug enough to gain a frustrated moan from Jisung as he pushed his hips back trying in vain to get it inside. A giggle. Seungmin could try, he had three fingers in and it didn't really hurt anymore. Usually he would stop at this step, but he hadn't come yet and the live was still going. Minho pressed the plug into Jisung as Seungmin straightened himself, taking the fingers out of himself and reaching for the drawer.
Jisung whined.
The dildo was in a small satin bag. He took it out and threw the sack aside unceremoniously, setting the thing on the bed and staring at it for a longer second. Purple. It wasn't big, maybe even smaller than his own dick. And it wasn't too thick, he had measured it before: three fingers stretch was enough. It had to work. He took the lube that had been discarded to the side but was still in his reach, and poured some on it as he considered how to do it –not fully loosing track of the screen where Minho played with the plug in and out of Jisung. He had read a bit about it and though probably ass up would be easier to take it, but it was a weird angle for his wrist, which was already aching.
He sat up, pushing the pillow aside and kicking his shorts and underwear fully off. His breathe was ragged, his face red, his hair a mess. He held the purple dildo on the bed, pointing up, and standing on his knees tried to find balance above it. One hand on the toy, the other supporting himself on the wall as he turned his neck down to watch what he was doing. He felt the slicked material on his ass and adjusted the direction until he felt it pocking right at his entrance. He stopped, licking his lips and hesitating. Even with the heat pooling in his stomach he couldn't find the switch to turn off his brain.
His eyes darted back to the phone, almost forgotten, where Jisung looked close to a second orgasm, Minho perched on his back and holding his hips as he moved the toy in and out. He wanted to know. He wanted to be there and know what Jisung felt to let those sounds fall from his lips. He lowered his hips, the dildo catching on the ring and pushing in. It stung a bit, a slight burn, but nothing too painful considering he had spent a while fingering himself and he had made the decision. It was happening tonight.
He couldn't bear the thought of not knowing how it felt, so he pushed his hips further down, mouth opening in a breathy gasp and thighs trembling from the effort, the lack of exercise –Minho inviting him to run crossed his mind for a brief instant– and the way the little pain felt good.
Seungmin sat all the way down by the time Jisung was coming for a second time on the screen and Minho praised him, leaving the toy inside and smacking him on the ass to gain a very pornographic moan from the camboy. He sat like that for a second, not really able to do much more than feel the whole extension of the toy sitting inside him. Seungmin wasn't sure how to describe it besides full. He felt full, even if before he didn't know he had been empty. He blinked, breathing heavily as he just sat there with the feeling and tried to focus back into the screen.
Minho had managed Jisung to push himself to sit on his knees, facing the hyung's body now. He moved enough to lower his own clothes and free his dick. Jisung seemed under some kind of spell, eyes following the member the same way Seungmin couldn't help but stare. Once again, Seungmin didn't really care about dicks, but his own twitched when Minho's pink length was visible. He was now standing out of the bed, one hand working his boner and the other coaxing Jisung closer.
"Come here, baby." Minho said and Seungmin licked his lower lip, hand gripping the bedsheets as he took a deep breathe, "Don't you wanna be full?"
Jisung nodded, eyes going up to Minho as he answered, looking like a puppet doll, "Y-Yes, please, I want it." He said, mouth falling open as he crawled closer and lolled his tongue out. For a second Minho caressed his cheek and moved the hair out of his face, sweet, and something stung on Seungmin's chest, making him look away. "Hyung…" Jisung whined and Minho scoffed, bringing his dick closer and feeding it to Jisung's hungry mouth.
Seungmin had lost track of the chat, which went crazy with comments about how pretty Jisung looked like that: on his knees, feeling the cock weight on his tongue and then taking it deeper. His hands came up to hold on Minho's thighs, his back arching prettily and his own dick still hard somehow hanged between his open legs. Seungmin felt the curiosity stir again when Jisung moaned as his nose met Minho's pelvis and saw the hyung's fingers caress through his hair. The camboy looked fucked up, he looked like he was gone, eyes closing as he just stayed there.
What would it feel like to be that full? Curious. Seungmin was just curious.
Minho gave him a few moments and Seungmin saw the boy patting twice on Minho's leg softly, like some type of secret signal, before the hyung pushed his hips and started fucking Jisung's mouth.
Seungmin was hard again from the visual and Jisung's muted sounds mixing with Minho's breathy moans. He pushed his hips up once and felt his legs tremble but a moan broke from his lips as the feeling send a wave of heat rush over his skin. He repeated the motion a couple times, the feeling of full was good, but the movement made it better. He managed to keep a soft rhythm, but it wasn't enough and his legs were shaking so he fell on his stomach and reached with his hands: one holding the toy to push in and out as his eyes kept following the screen, the other going for his dick with messy strokes. He had no elbows to support himself, meaning his cheek was now on the mattress and the angle of the video was a bit crooked, but he didn't care, he felt hot all over, he felt full and he could hear his friend's whines mixing with his own sounds.
His hand fastened and he saw it coming so pushed the toy deeper, hitting the right spot on the last minute and letting out a barely controlled moan that was maybe too high for the thin wall. But his eyes closed as white exploded through his body, making his toes curl and his legs shake, so he didn't see the tiny second Minho's moves faltered and he looked past the webcam before pushing harder into Jisung's mouth and cumming down his throat at the same time Jisung's dick twitched in the camboy's hand one last time.
Seungmin was panting, sweat on his face and electricity still tingling on his skin. Oh. Oh. That was it.
He pulled the toy out before lying down feeling boneless as he tried to find in himself the will to move. His eyes fell on the screen again where Jisung melted on Minho's arms, the hyung was kissing his cheek before looking straight at the camera, "Say bye, baby." He prompted and Jisung didn't even move his face from Minho's neck to talk, "B-Bye, bugs…"
Seungmin reached for his phone, quickly typing into the chat and sending a bigger tip to match what others had sent. It was Minho who came closer to the camera to turn it off, so it was him and not Jisung who read the line.
mongmong_09: Happy birthday.
By next week's Friday Seungmin was going crazy.
That was the only explanation.
He sat down heavily on his preferred corner at the Café and set his head down on the table for a second. It was a dead hour, mid-morning, when the first rush of early workers had passed and there was still time before the afternoon crowd. A hand set a large cup in front of him a couple instants after and Seungmin lifted his head to meet Jeongin's curious eyes, "Is the smutty book still driving you crazy? Are you meeting with the writer again?"
He sighed, straitening up a bit and taking a sip from the latte before shaking his head softly, "No, the book is going fine, the writer accepted to cut some of the smutty scenes."
"Well, you look like you're going crazy anyway, hyung." Jeongin said, eyeing the bar, "Want me to bring you a snack too? We have muffins today."
Seungmin pressed his lips on the straw, "I could have some cookies."
"Okay, I'll be back in a sec." Jeongin hummed and turned back to the counter, leaving Seungmin alone with his coffee and the loud thoughts around his head.
He stared at the long glass, fingers tracing the wet exterior. The night of Jisung's birthday had been almost a week ago. It had taken Seungmin a couple minutes to feel disgusting, the sticky feeling of the cum and the lube itching the part of his brain that didn't like to sit on the bed with outside clothes. He had gotten up, observed his mess and made it towards the bathroom with shaky legs. His brain felt fuzzy, light from the orgasm, and probably that was why he didn't thought about the timing until as soon as he exited his room he was met face to face with Minho.
It had happened before, but the awkwardness of meeting your roommate when you had just rubbed one to his boyfriend and needed to wash your hands was different to the one from meeting your best friend while both of you were going to the bathroom for similar reasons and you were holding the sex toy you had fucked yourself to while watching them. It took him a second too long to hide the dildo behind his back, and Minho had surely seen the purple toy still glistening with lube on Seungmin's hand.
"Okay, then what is it?" Jeongin cut his thoughts by sitting across the table and setting down a plate with a few chocolate chip cookies.
Seungmin blinked obliviously, the younger got one of the cookies, biting on it. He was too cute for Seungmin to complain about the younger eating his snacks and he was used to the behavior by now.
"What thing?"
"The thing that's been driving you crazy." Jeongin gestured vaguely with half cookie on his hand, "You're all… weird." He scrunched his nose with disgust.
"Oh." Seungmin pressed his lips and got one of the cookies himself, as if that would save him for answering, "Nothing, really."
Jeongin frowned, clearly not buying it, but Seungmin couldn't tell him.
What was he supposed to say? That he'd been jerking off to his friend who happened to be the boyfriend of his long time best friend? That he was a camboy so it was okay? That wasn't really it. It had been happening for a while and if he was being honest, he hadn't touch himself in the past week. Maybe that was it, he had become an addict after all and the abstinence was fucking up his brain.
Surely that made more sense than Minho touching him more frequently, his eyes lingering on Seungmin more than they should. Surely it would make more sense than Jisung flirting with him at the company and finding ways to tell Seungmin about the rest of his sex toys collection and future planned acquisitions –or that weird conversation on the cafeteria about subspace, whatever that was. Surely all of it being in his head it made more sense than him receiving a private message from QuokkaBoy0801 when he missed last nights live.
"I mean, if you don't wanna tell me it's fine," Jeongin huffed, inhaling the rest of his cookie. "But I've heard you ramble about the stupidest shit from work, so I think you should know you can talk to me, hyung. If you want to, I mean. Not that I care." He hurried the last part and a tiny smile tugged Seungmin's lips at the way Jeongin tried to brush off his worry.
It softened something on his chest, after all Jeongin seemed like a reliable person, so even if Seungmin couldn't tell him the whole truth about what was bothering him, he knew he could trust Jeongin with some of it. Maybe sharing would help him ease his mind. So he sighed, "It's…" He moved his cup and, shaking his head a bit, lowered his eyes, "My friends are planning to go clubbing for my birthday tonight and I'm not sure it's…"
Seungmin rubbed his eyes.
"I didn't take you as the type for clubbing." Jeongin raised his eyebrows.
"Uh, I'm not." He scoffed a bit, "My friend Lix is, and it was his and our other friend's birthday last week but we couldn't celebrate so I can't really tell them no."
Jeongin hummed and took another cookie, taking the whole thing in his mouth at once and speaking with his mouth full, "So, why are you stressing about it?"
He shrugged, throwing his head backwards for a second and then taking the straw to his lips and sipping from his coffee under Jeongin's curious eyes. Seungmin felt the blush creeping onto his cheeks even before he got to voice half the reason he was nervous about tonight, "Felix loves to try and get me dates with pretty boys at the bar, because I'm the only single person on the friend group, and I'm not in the mood to entertain him."
To that Jeongin let out a soft laugh and then a pained sigh, as if he understood, "Ah, I have a hyung that's the same with me every time we go out." He made a face, "What if you brought someone?"
"Someone?" Seungmin frowned a bit.
The younger huffed a bit, "Me, hyung. If you're with someone maybe they won't pester you to get a date?"
Seungmin stared at Jeongin's face for a longer second. It didn't sound crazy. Felix surely couldn't bring a random guy from the dance floor or the bar to their table and sit it next to Seungmin if Seungmin's got a pretty boy with him already. Because Jeongin was pretty. Not in the same sense Jisung was pretty in Seungmin's eyes, of course, he didn't think he could jerk off to Jeongin. But, objectively speaking, Jeongin was attractive. High cheek bones, foxy eyes, and that ginger hair that suited his vibe so good.
And he was nice to talk to, a great plus considering Jisung and Minho had a tendency to get lost in the dance floor while Felix made out with Chan and Seungmin sat with a lonely low-alcohol cocktail and his phone or his forced random date.
"Would you do that?" Seungmin asked, eyes trying to read through Jeongin's expressions, "You don't seem like the type to party either."
"I like to go dance." Jeongin talked back, eating another cookie, "But usually if I go on my own makes people think I'm looking for a hook up." He shrunk his nose as if the idea disgusted him.
Seungmin raised an eyebrow and Jeongin blushed a bit, batting his hand to dismiss it, "Aigoo. It's also your birthday, hyung, you shouldn't have a bad time."
"Okay." Seungmin hummed with a fond smile and brought the straw back to his lips, sipping on the coffee with a lighter heart, "Then I'll give you the bar address, we're supposed to meet there by nine."
"Cool."
Felix raised an arm and waved as soon as he saw them waiting outside the bar already. It was a chill night and Seungmin buried his hands deeper into the pockets of his jacket as he saw the couple of Aussies crossing the street. Jisung was snuggling into Minho and muttering something about how cold it was for just September, which Seungmin found ridiculous: it was always this chill in September and still it was Jisung's decision to wear a cute tank top that showed a bit of his belly and wide pants with holes on the knees.
"Finally." Minho huffed as soon as the others reached their side and Felix jumped from his boyfriend's arm to Seungmin's neck in a tight hug.
"There was some traffic and Felix took his time to get ready." The older laughed softly to their grumpy friend.
"Happy Birthday, Minnie!" The blond sang as his boyfriend stood there, hands on his pockets.
Seungmin groaned a bit, "It's technically not my birthday yet."
"Hi, Seungminnie." Chan smiled from behind Felix's shoulder, and the younger glared at him, "We got your present in the car for midnight."
"Hi, hyung." He muttered, pushing Felix back slightly away from the hug, not wanting the glitter from his friend's face all over him –it was hard to wash it off.
"Can we get inside already?" Jisung pouted, changing his weight from one leg to the other, "It's cold here."
Felix turned to him, and smiled as he glared up and down his friend's outfit. "Pretty," he whistled, as if he himself wasn't dressed with a slutty tight top under his coat and white pants low around his hips.
Jisung smiled to the compliment, but was still shrinking onto his boyfriend's side, "Thanks, Lix, you look amazing too. But can we go in already?" He whined the last part.
Minho hummed and Chan agreed, rubbing his hands and placing one on the small of Felix's back to guide him towards the door, but Seungmin hesitated, taking his phone and glaring anxiously between it and the corner. Jisung noticed first, but it was Minho who called, realizing his friend wasn't moving, "Seungmin-ah?"
"Um, you guys can go in first," he said and Minho raised an eyebrow so he added hurriedly, "I'm waiting for a friend I invited to join us, he said he's almost here."
Felix's curiosity peaked and he pushed his elbow to Seungmin's ribs with a smirk, "A friend, huh?"
"Who?" Jisung jumped, trying to see his phone but Seungmin pushed it back to his pocket, "Hyunjin-ah?"
"No, not him, another friend. You don't know him," Seungmin said, and he couldn't identify the feeling behind Jisung's eyes but it did something to his stomach. Right in time, before his friend could call him out because Seungmin didn't have friends he or Minho didn't know, he caught a glimpse of ginger hair on his peripheral vision and turned to see Jeongin hurrying from the corner, "Ah, there he is. Jeongin!"
"Jeongin?" Jisung whispered as all of them turned to see the younger getting to their side.
"Ah, hyung, I'm not late, right?"
"Hyung?" Minho frowned a bit, and he saw his best friend's eyes scanning the unknown boy up and down, from the combat boots to the black shirt under his denim jacket and the fucking collar around his neck.
The ginger smiled, all his fox's charms in display as he handed something towards Seungmin, "I brought you a gift. I thought I would save it for midnight, but…" He patted his coat and pressed his lips, "I don't have anywhere to hide it."
Seungmin blinked to the obviously quickly wrapped gift and grabbed it while warmth spread to his face, "Ah, that's not… you didn't have to, but thanks."
"It's nothing." Jeongin waved a hand, "Just don't open it yet?"
He hummed and then Felix cleared his throat, making both of them turn to the four pair of eyes observing, "Seungmin-ah?" He smiled in the sweet way that made Seungmin forget Felix was a little demon, "Are you gonna introduce your friend?"
Seungmin didn't like the tone and glared at his friend with a warning. Before he could say something, Jeongin was doing a half bow to his group of friends, "Sorry, I'm Yang Jeongin. Nice to meet you all."
Jisung seemed like he wanted to say something, but Chan interrupted him, "Nice to meet you too, Jeongin, I'm Bang Chan and these are Felix, Minho and Jisung." He pointed quickly, a hand still on his boyfriend's back, "But maybe we should bring this inside. Sung, weren't you freezing?"
Seungmin saw Jisung's hesitation, and the way his eyes went from Jeongin to Seungmin one last time before pouting and whining in a way that felt fake about the cold, so they made their way inside the bar. There was still some free tables and the crowd wasn't too tight, the night was still starting. Felix's plan had been to get a few rounds of drinks before the bar was too crowded, dance for a while and then move the hangout to Seungmin's apartment where they'd wait until midnight while sobering up to some board games and have his friend blowing candles before he could be free to go to bed.
Minho picked the table for them and some of them sat while the others made it to the bar for beers. Soon, Seungmin found himself in between Minho and Jeongin, chugging down a beer as Felix –from the other side of his only dongsaeng– questioned how long they'd known each other, what did Jeongin do for living, how old was he and if he had gone to college. Seungmin was mostly out of the conversation, as the foxy boy seemed a bit overwhelmed by the questions, but in less than an hour provided information that Seungmin himself didn't know: he was from Busan, currently finishing his Education degree and working at the Café just part-time.
"Oh, Education! So you're gonna be a teacher?" Felix seemed impressed.
"Elementary school teacher, yeah."
"I don't imagine you teaching kids," Seungmin muttered, frowning a bit and feeling betrayed at how easily Jeongin was opening up to Felix. If he was being honest, he never asked the questions the blond was making, but still, Felix had only known him for barely an hour.
The younger boy turned to look at him with arched eyebrows, "I'm pretty good with kids."
"Aren't you just one year under Seungmin, though?" Minho called, tilting the bottle to his lips as his sharp eyes observed the ginger from beside his best friend's. Seungmin could feel the judgment as if it was directed to himself –and if it had been he would've crumbled under Minho's glare, but the younger didn't.
"Um, yeah, but it took me a couple years to find out what I wanted to study so I got into university a little late and switched majors a couple times..." Jeongin said, scratching behind his ear with a bit of embarrassment, "So I'm graduating this year."
"Jeongin?" Someone called and when Seungmin turned his head his eyes found Hwang Hyunjin.
It took Seungmin a couple seconds to recognize him under the smudged make up on his eyes and the way his hair –free from his usual ponytail– made his face look prettier than it looked under the office lights. He was holding a drink, and there was a bulkier but shorter guy behind him, holding his waist in one hand and a beer in the other. Hyunjin's eyes scanned the table and he seemed surprised to meet Seungmin and Jisung there too.
"Hyung?"
"Hyunjin-ah?!" Jisung jumped, as if he was surprised but glad for a distraction.
"Chanbing-ah?" Chan said and Felix's turned his head to the name echoing his boyfriend, "Hyung!"
There was an awkward silence as glances were exchanged and to Seungmin it felt like words colliding. His coworker came closer to their table and Minho glared at Seungmin, whispering as to check if he had gotten it right, "Hwang Hyunjin as the guy who sits with you two at lunch?"
"Yes." He nodded, watching as Chan stood up to hug the guy who came with Hyunjin –some back patting was exchanged in the gesture and Felix followed quickly to do the same.
"Oh my god, Changbin-hyung! It's been centuries." The blond said.
"Everyone, this is Changbin," Chan said to the table, "We shared some classes at uni."
"Ah!" Jisung pointed with the hand he was holding his beer, "I remember you! Hyung, don't you remember Changbin-hyung?" He turned to Minho and his boyfriend and Changbin met eyes for a second before Minho let out a soft 'ah' and Changbin huffed.
"Nice to see you again too, hyung."
"Ah, do you wanna sit with us too?" Chan offered and Felix smiled big, "We can squeeze a bit more! We still fit with you and…"
"Hyunjin." Hyunjin provided and Changbin looked at him with soft eyes before adding something that was obvious to Seungmin's eyes but not to his brain as he hadn't processes Hyunjin from the office could not be single –and of course he wasn't, the man was handsome as a model.
"He's my boyfriend."
"Future husband," Hyunjin corrected with a shy smile and Changbin giggled.
"Yes, they're disgustingly in love." Jeongin provided with a roll of eyes before they moved to squeeze further on their booth to welcome the new additions on their group.
"I didn't know you guys knew Jeongin!" Hyunjin said towards his coworkers, ignoring the previous comment and pointing vaguely towards the younger boy, "You didn't tell me you knew Seungmin and Jisung."
Felix looked confused and curious again so Jisung waved his hand and did a quick explanation, "Hyunjin works with me and Seungmin." He said and then towards Hyunjin, "Jeongin is friend's with Seungminnie and we're celebrating Seungmin's birthday."
"It's Seungmin's birthday?" Hyunjin gasped and his widened eyes were directed to the birthday boy immediately, "Happy birthday! I didn't know!"
Seungmin shrugged, "It's technically tomorrow… and it's okay." He glared past Hyunjin.
"Seungminnie?" Changbin muttered, leaning a bit over the table to catch a good glare at him, "I heard so much about you from Jisung-ah in college and then from Hyunjin but we never met."
He stared back at the guy, his wide muscular frame struggling a bit to fit on the small space left by Hyunjin at the end of the seat. He seemed to be an old college friend from Chan and that meant he was at least an acquaintance for Jisung, but his friend had called him 'hyung' and Minho knew him too. He didn't know what to think of Jisung talking about him to a friend Seungmin didn't know back in college, but the idea did something to his stomach –being squeezed between Minho and Jeongin's shoulders didn't help as he could also feel Minho's thigh next to his.
"Um, I don't remember Hyunjin telling me he had a boyfriend." He commented and Hyunjin giggled a bit.
"I literally wear my engagement ring in the office." He showed his hand and Seungmin realized it was right, the ring had always been there, "You never asked, and since you're always so reserved… But i did tell Jisung."
Jisung nodded and Seungmin felt like he had always been living on a bubble.
Was he really so into his own head and routine? Felix had always said he needed to live a bit more, get out of his comfort zone and he had always been trying to push him himself. Seungmin had never really listened to him much on that sense, and the only time he did by mistake –subscribing to Jisung's channel– he got in his current mess. But maybe he was partially right and Seungmin did live a bit in a bubble.
"You okay?"
Seungmin turned to see Jeongin, who had leaned closer to whisper and he realized he had zoned out for a moment there as the conversation had driven away. Jeongin's face was a bit too close to be comfortable so he moved back slightly, meeting Minho's shoulder and making the hyung turn to check on him, "Uh?" It took his roommate a second to noticed the way Jeongin was staring and Seungmin's face reddening and even faster his hand was on Seungmin's thigh next to his. Too easy, too casual, as if it was a regular move and not something that made Seungmin overly conscious of the fingers spread over his leg, "Minnie?"
Minho's voice was right on his ear, from behind.
"I just need another drink," he excused, grabbing his empty bottle as evidence, moving away from Minho all the space allowed him to without bumping against Jeongin, but his hyung didn't move his hand away.
Jeongin only noticed when Seungmin's eyes went downwards. Minho's hand squeezed right in time for Jeongin to see and Seungmin didn't know what was going on or why it sent warmth into his belly. But luckily, before he could do something stupid as getting a boner or squeaking and standing up in the small space, Felix –his guardian angel Felix– gasped loudly and stood up suddenly dragging the attention of the whole group, "That's our song!" He said, making grabby hands at Jisung.
Minho's boyfriend lit up as soon as he recognized the melody and stood up, raising his arms and then struggling past Hyunjin and Changbin to get out of the booth and grab Felix's hands they made it towards the dance floor. Chan laughed a bit, rubbing his face with a bit of embarrassment. Jeongin's attention moved away for a second and Minho's hand slipped away from where it burned Seungmin through the fabric.
"Wait! I wanna dance too!" Hyunjin hurried before they were too far, bringing his half empty beer with him and joining the others in the growing crowd.
"I guess that calls for another round for us." Changbin said and Chan nodded, getting up.
"I'll go with you," the older said, passing an arm over Changbin's shoulders, "We need to catch up too. You are getting married before me and Lix?"
Seungmin felt the silence fall on the table, awkward and a bit too heavy in his throat so he cleared it and moved to get up, from Jeongin's side –because he definitively couldn't look at Minho right now. "I need to use the bathroom," he excused and Jeongin let him get out with only a raised eyebrow.
The bar had gotten a bit more crowded since they had gotten there so there was a small line to use the restrooms. Seungmin considered waiting, but the bathroom's hall was too close to the dance floor and the music was a bit too loud, the place smelled a bit too much like cigarettes, alcohol and other things he didn't want to think about. The colorful lights flashed towards the spot where the line was formed and Seungmin didn't really need to pee so he passed by it quickly, ignoring the couple making out in the corner, and made it through one of the back doors of the local.
The night chill hit him right away and he shivered, cursing under his voice and rubbing his arms as he had left his jacket inside. But shivering was better than going back as he needed the air. He didn't put his back against the wall but crouched down and stayed like that for a bit, his head running laps a bit too fast as his cheeks still felt warm. What the fuck just happened? What the fuck was going on tonight?
He could still feel the hand on his leg through the fabric, the light touch and then the soft possessive squeeze. What the fuck? What the fuck? The whole week had been driving him crazy. Washing the dishes and Minho leaning at his back, a bit too close, a bit too intentional, to reach something he could've asked Seungmin for. Sitting on the sofa and Minho spreading his legs towards Seungmin's and moving his toes –as kittens did while doing biscuits– against the soft muscle of Seungmin's thighs.
It had all felt a bit too intentional. Like Minho's look when they met in the hall and Seungmin hid the sex toy behind his back a bit too late. Like the way he had licked his lower lip before moving his eyes away.
"I'm just getting a towel and wet wipes," he'd muttered, entering the bathroom while Seungmin was still frozen by the heat on his face. He didn't move from his spot until Minho, coming out while holding the clean towel and the wet wipes, met his eyes again. It was briefly a second before the hyung's eyes softened and moved downwards, which finally made him react.
"I need to pee," he muttered, as if Minho hadn't see the toy, and passed by him quickly closing the door behind his back with a sigh. Seungmin had to close his eyes for a second and opened them after counting to five, meeting his own pupils on the mirror and finding his disheveled image. Even if Minho hadn't seen the toy, it was obvious in the way his shorts were twisted, his shirt had a couple wet drops on it and Seungmin's face wasn't just red but looked a bit brighter, the same way Jisung's looked at the end of some of his videos. And there was also the smell. The same smell that lingered on Minho and Seungmin had caught up when they bumped in the hall.
Seungmin was going crazy. He was imagining stuff. Minho had said nothing nor did anything for Seungmin's face to feel hot and his stomach to fall. If he had put a hand on the younger's leg and he was glaring at Jeongin with some sort of sharp eyes, it was only because he was protective of his best friend and Jeongin was someone he didn't know so it could perfectly be a threat. Right?
But it felt too intentional. It felt too intimate. Possessive. The same way it had felt when on Monday Jisung had put an arm around his waist on the a bit too crowded elevator on their way to have lunch at the cafeteria. The same way it felt when his friend bought an 'extra' yogurt mid-afternoon from the vending machine out of nowhere, refused to give it to Jisoo and instead settled it on Seungmin's desk. The same way it had felt when on Thursday he was purposefully staying to work late and Jisung leaned from the back of his chair and, touching Seungmin's shoulder, said he should go home and rest.
"You work way too much, Minnie," he had said, and there was something on the glint of Jisung's eyes that made him feel too seen, "Can't you finish that for tonight? We can walk together to the bus stop." His hand on Seungmin's shoulder gave a soft caress and Seungmin panicked upon the idea of them sharing the elevator alone when it was past nine and the offices were empty.
"No, I'll leave in some minutes, go first."
It was stupid. He had nothing to be afraid of. It was just Jisung, his roommate's boyfriend and his own friend since college. And yet, Seungmin had the same fear when Jisung's eyes kept finding Jeongin across the table before, mostly silent and absorbing all the info Felix was happily gathering from Seungmin's dongsaeng.
"Hey, are you okay?"
Seungmin heard the door opening and looked up to find Hyunjin, holding a cigarette and a lighter. He wasn't sure how long he had stayed outside, but he was shivering a bit. He stood up, back against the wall, "Uh, yeah, I just needed some air."
Hyunjin stared at him for a longer second and then hummed, turning his face to light the cigarette and take a first long smoke from it. Seungmin didn't even know Hyunjin smoked and they'd worked together for years. He didn't say anything and Hyunjin either. One smoked, and the other just stood there, actually breathing now as his eyes followed the other's graceful movements –the way his fingers held the cigarette and his lips circled around it– and his mind relaxed a bit. After a couple instants, Hyunjin breathed out another round of smoke and lowered his hand, lazily turning to Seungmin, "Sure you're okay?"
He sighed, rubbing his cheek, "It's nothing."
Hyunjin took another drag, cheeks hollowing slightly and the paper flaring orange, and then offered it towards Seungmin, but the younger waved his hand to dismiss it, "I don't smoke", and Hyunjin shrugged, exhaling softly, "Um, good for you, I picked it up in high-school to be cool and now I barely smoke, but sometimes…"
Seungmin hummed, as if he understood –he didn't, not really, he had tried it once in college because Jisung had suggested Seungmin must try stuff to know he didn't like them, and ended up as a coughing mess with wet eyes. Hyunjin dragged a couple more breathes, slowly, like if he was giving Seungmin extra time before he was done and ready to go back. Then, he threw the end of the cigarette to the floor, stepping on it and wiping his hands on his trousers before getting putting them into his pockets and shrinking his shoulders to the cold air, "Fuck, it's cold out here. Lets go back inside." He suggested, "I want another drink."
He wasn't sure how long it had been since he was out there, but surely it was long enough for it to be weird if he refused. Besides, Hyunjin was right, it was cold and Seungmin didn't have his jacket. He shivered and nodded, stepping towards the door but not getting to reach for it before it opened and Jisung appeared: red cheeks from the alcohol and a growing smile as he fixed Seungmin with his yes, "There you are! Minho said you went to the bathroom and didn't come back."
"I needed some air," he found himself voicing a quick excuse, "The bathroom hall smells disgusting and I had to stand in the line."
Jisung made a face and Hyunjin agreed with a nod, "That's true. Fuck, it's cold out here." The shorter boy said, hand grabbing Seungmin's arm to pull him back inside, "Where is your jacket, Seungminnie?"
"I think I left it on the table," he muttered, Hyunjin following them and observing with amusement as Jisung snuggled closer to Seungmin's arm, pressing his cheek on the boy's shoulder and rubbing his arms up and down Seungmin as if he was trying to fully hug him but couldn't decide how.
"You're so cold," he whined a bit, and Seungmin felt his cheeks warm again as Hyunjin giggled from his back.
"Is he always this light-weighted?"
"Yeah, and he's also a clingy drunk." He didn't even try to push Jisung away as the other settled onto hugging him from the side over the shoulders, as if that didn't made their walking harder than it needed to be. At some point he had to hold his friend back as Jisung refused to let go on their way to the table.
For Seungmin's relief, Minho wasn't anywhere to be seen, but Jeongin was still there, talking in a friendly tone with Chan and Changbin. He was still sitting in the same spot, next to Seungmin's jacket and the unopened gift. Jeongin lifted his eyes and smiled a bit as Seungmin came back, pulling a smile back from the older one. He felt Jisung tense on his side and the hand that was hugging his shoulders went down to his waist, gripping on his frame as if it was the most natural thing between them. As if it was casual and didn't made Seungmin feel warm spreading to his belly from the contact point.
"Did you get me a drink too, hyung?" Hyunjin moved to the table first, sitting on his fiancé lap and kissing his cheek before stealing a sip from his new beer.
Changbin flushed a bit but smiled and melted, immediately kissing Hyunjin's cheek back in a cheesy way, "No, but we can share and I will get you as many as you want after." He said, in a endearing tone that made the other giggle happily in a way Seungmin had never seen him giggle –not even to Jisung's stupid ass jokes.
"Hyung, I thought you ran and abandoned me here," Jeongin said to Seungmin, getting out of the booth to stand and pass the jacket to him, "You look cold."
"Ah, thanks, Jeongin-ah." He moved to get out of Jisung's embrace but his friend didn't let go and he felt his cheeks blushing as he reached for the jacket and pressed a tight awkward smile to his dongsaeng, who raised an eyebrow to the hand Jisung kept on Seungmin's waist.
"Where is hyung?" Jisung said, ignoring the tension on Seungmin's body and looking at Chan, who was observing with calm from the side.
"Lix dragged him to dance."
"Right. Seungminnie, let's go dance." He muttered, his hand freeing him just to grab onto Seungmin's arm instead and drag him away from the table. Seungmin stumbled a bit, confused because he usually wasn't one to dance unless they were playing Just Dance on his old console –Seungmin loved to cheat by just moving enough for the camera to recognize his movements without him fully danced, which drove Jisung and Felix crazy.
"But, I–…"
He glared at Jeongin, that had a raised eyebrow on his direction, but the boy's eyes had some kind of glint Seungmin didn't understood and he didn't do anything to save the almost birthday boy as he was dragged. Jisung pulled him all the way to the dance floor on the other side of the bar, where the lights flashed over the moving bodies, a crowd so tight Seungmin slowed his steps and pulled Jisung to the side of it rather than the center they were heading to.
The music was bumping, too loud as they got closer to the speakers and Seungmin struggled into his jacket on –carrying it was more annoying– before Jisung hooked two fingers on his belt loop and tugged him with the rhythm. He didn't recognize the song, but Jisung didn't seem to care, rolling his hips and swaying his shoulders to the low beat.
He was saying something, but the music was drowning it, "What?", Seungmin yelled.
Bad idea: Jisung stepped further into his space, laughing when they noses bumped and he yelled back almost onto his lips, "Move, Seungminnie!"
He felt his cheeks reddening to Jisung's warm hands finding his hips and pushing him to roll them. The space was small, couples and groups of strangers swallowing the gaps, as they were dragged further into the living crowd –Seungmin wasn't able to tell what direction their table was anymore. Jisung pushed and pulled him, grinning way too close and making him move awkwardly. Seungmin gave in soon, limbs loosening enough to let himself be guided and imitate what Jisung was doing with his shoulders and hips.
Jisung giggled, as if the awkward wave of Seungmin's thin frame was amusing and mouthed a silent word that looked suspiciously like 'cute'. Seungmin snorted and looked away, Jisung's hands still on him, his shorter body didn't fully trapped Seungmin, but his chest brushed on Seungmin's when he leaned towards his ear to yell over the noise, "Try this!" His breathe brushing, hot and a bit alcohol-like.
One second he was close and the next he was pulling away and demonstrating the step: swinging his hips while using his knees in a funny move. He rolled easily, slow, only for Seungmin's eyes to see in the sea of bodies around. He stared at it and frowned in focus before copying it. The swing of his own body was a bit more stiff, but his legs were less clumsy and Jisung clapped, showing him another move and then another. Jisung's hands were everywhere, Seungmin's wrist, his fingers, his shoulders, his arms and back down to his waist, guiding Seungmin to a silly move after the other, bringing their bodies closer and laughing every time Seungmin did it wrong or he had to grab Jisung to stop him from bumping with the person behind.
At some point both of them where laughing and breathless, bodies bumping against the other without care for the concept of personal space. The people kept pushing them closer, Jisung was tipsy and Seungmin couldn't care about anything other than the glint of life on his friend's pupils and the grin he didn't know he was mirroring. Warm on his belly, the pulse moving his knees and the bass bump on Jisung's hips. Eyes staring at his and the tongue picking between the plush looking lips as sweat dripped from his temples. It was a small bubble where Seungmin forgot to exist and for a second he understood why his friends loved to go dancing.
Until he felt a new hand tugging him, a different arm hugging him by the waist and Jisung's eyes brightened as he identified Minho over Seungmin's shoulder, "How did you get Seungmin to dance?" He said, and Seungmin froze, stopping his hips immediately as he felt his roommate chest against his back and his breathe too close to his ear. It was the crowd, Seungmin told himself, there was too many people and no space to keep distances. He felt squeezed even if he wasn't, the gaps between them and his body felt like walls holding him in place. One wrong swing and he would meet Jisung's hips or push his ass towards the hyung.
He didn't dare to turn his face but glared sidewards, finding Minho's amused stare on him.
"I have my ways," Jisung bragged with a smirk and Minho huffed a laugh, leaning over Seungmin's shoulder and meeting his boyfriend on the middle of the way for a soft kiss.
Seungmin's cheek heated up but he couldn't pull his eyes away from the display right in front of his eyes, right on his personal space, casual, deliberate. His skin buzzed and he felt his mouth dry.
"I need a drink," He announced, yet again tonight, a bit too breathless –he wasn't sure if the loud thud on his ears was the bass or his own heart.
Minho turned to look at him, breaking the kiss but still not letting go of Seungmin's waist until the younger moved to step aside, guessing the right direction he had to take to leave the crowd. The hand slipped away from his grip, but the two of them followed the path behind him, their hands linking by instinct. As soon as they were out of the crowd Seungmin headed to the bar direction, he needed a beer, or something stronger, something to wet his lips with. The barman served him the cold bottle without much interested, adding it to their table's open tab.
"I want one too." Jisung leaned on his elbows over the bar and tilted the bottle as soon as the guy passed it to him, taking a couple long sips and then gasping for air and wiping the sweat from his temple with the back of his arm.
Seungmin set his own beer down, wiping his lips with his wrist and glaring at his friend. Minho was linked to his back, eyes meeting Seungmin's the instant he glared. "Don't drink that too fast," he said, nudging Jisung's side and making him giggle.
The cold liquid wasn't enough to turn off the blush of his face, the burning feeling on his guts or the low buzz of a semi hard on his pants.
Seungmin unlocked the door and entered their apartment first. It was almost midnight according to the wall clock. They had a few more rounds in the bar before Felix decided they needed to make it home before midnight so Seungmin could blow out the candles. Minho laughed when Jisung stumbled while taking off his shoes, holding him by the waist and whispering something sweet that Seungmin preferred to ignore.
"Hyung, is the cake in the kitchen?" Felix called, but didn't wait for an answer, kicking his shoes and walking to the kitchen.
"Wait, let me help you." Chan followed quickly, both of them moving with the confidence of people who had been here before several times.
"Are we opening the wine?" Jisung jolted up in interest, eyes following the bottle Chan had brought from the car, while Minho untied his shoes for him.
Jeongin and the rest stepped in too, Changbin closing the door and snorting towards Jisung, "I think you shouldn't drink any more, Jisung-ah."
Everyone was more or less in different states of tipsy, thanks to the extra rounds, but Jisung was specially wasted. Seungmin let himself fall into the couch, face first, feeling sleepy thanks to the alcohol in his system. He just wanted the night to end so he could go and lie down already. His body was tired from the dancing and his mind was exhausted from the events and the emotional turmoil on his chest. Someone pushed his legs out of the way and, groaning, he sat up to make more space for Jeongin on his sofa.
"Can I get some water?" Hyunjin asked distantly and Minho, blushed by the alcohol, hummed.
"Feel free to take it from the fridge," He said, helping Jisung towards the living room space, after quickly instructing Changbin the direction of the bathroom.
"Do you wanna open the gift now?" Jeongin said, holding the gift he had previously given Seungmin and ended up carrying most of the night anyway.
"Uh? What is it?" He said, taking it to his lap and unfolding the wrapping in the most careful way possible.
"Just break it, hyung." Jeongin got impatient and used his own fingers to rip the paper that he had gotten together with tape in a messy way. And since he didn't seem to mind, Seungmin just pulled the rest off that way and his eyes went big as he saw Jeongin had got him a new journal, "You use those a lot, don't you? I saw yours in the Café the other day and I figured you could use a new one."
"Yes," he mumbled, open it and taking a look at the pages design before looking back at Jeongin and offering a big smile, "Thank you, Innie-ah."
The comfortable silence as Jeongin smiled back didn't last much as Jisung fell on the sofa on the other side of the ginger and leaned to look at the gift, breaking the moment. "Are you opening gifts before the cake? Hyung, where did you put our gifts?"
"Hm?" Minho turned from where he was putting his coat away and reached to get the board games from the drawers under the TV, "They're in my room, Sung."
Jisung stood up and stumbled down the hall to go get them at the same time Hyunjin came back, noticing the board games, "Oh, what are we playing?"
"Seungmin likes Halli Galli, but since there is eight of us… we also have Blue Marble and Yutnori," Minho said, settling the boxes on the low coffee table.
"Ah, Halli Galli is funnier," Seungmin said, putting the journal aside carefully and sitting down on the floor, helping Minho to move the stuff from the low table so they could gather around it. Jeongin followed and Hyunjin sat on the other side.
"Binnie-ah also like that one," he said, lifting his eyes to Changbin that came back from the bathroom then, "Right?"
"What thing?"
"Halli Galli." Hyunjin patted next to him and Changbin sat on the spot, bringing his fiancé closer before nodding with a hum.
"Are we playing that?" He said, "Because I'm really good on it."
Seungmin huffed a laugh, "I bet I can defeat you."
Changbin laughed and let go of Hyunjin to move closer to the table, "Yah! Okay! Let's see!"
But before Seungmin could grab the game's box and start a singular round, Felix and Chan came in with the cake, three candles on top and a bottle of cider. "Where is Jisung?" Felix asked after scanning the room for a second, lowering the cake on the table as Minho moved the games out of the way.
"Went to get Seungmin's gift." Jeongin said, pointing down the hall.
"Oh, I left ours in the car," Chan realized, but Felix stopped him before he could suggest getting it.
"Cake first. Jisung-ah!" He called towards the hall and Minho got up to go for him, but Jisung rushed on his way back to the living room, bringing a gift box. He tripped with his house slippers, slid and fell down on his ass. Hyunjin laughed and Seungmin couldn't help but smile while Jeongin giggled and Jisung whined, taking a hand to his back.
"Fuck."
Felix laughed and sat down next to Jisung, making a gesture to Seungmin, "Come, let's blow the candles. I put one for each of us!"
Jeongin moved to Hyunjin's side and Chan got his phone to record while Changbin started singing and clapping first. Felix clapped and smiled as well and as soon as the song was over he patted Seungmin –sat in the middle– on the shoulder and the three of them leaned in. "Wait! Make a wish!" Hyunjin said from his spot and Seungmin didn't had time to think one properly when Jisung voiced his, the alcohol making his mouth looser than usual.
"I wanna kiss the birthday boy."
Seungmin felt his face go red and Felix giggled, blowing the candles with Jisung while the birthday boy couldn't take his eyes away from his friend at his left. Their friends laughed about it, Hyunjin pointed that saying a wish out loud was almost a guarantee for it not becoming real and Jisung pouted and whined, "Who said that? That's stupid!"
"Those are wishes' rules, Sung," Minho laughed a bit, but his ears were red and Seungmin avoided to meet his eyes while Jisung sulked and Felix ended up sighing and giving in.
The blond grabbed Jisung's face on his palms, squeezing his cheeks and bringing him in for a small peck on the lips that made the others cheer loudly. Even Minho laughed a bit at the cute way Jisung blinked when Felix pulled away and made him turn towards Seungmin instead. With the big boba eyes directed to him, Seungmin's head emptied and for a second he wasn't aware of anything but Jisung, who was getting on his knees to get closer, Felix behind him with a knowing smirk and the weight of Minho's eyes.
"Kiss! Kiss!" Hyunjin was chanting somewhere and Felix said something about kissing the homies that Jeongin completed with an amused 'no homo'. Traitor.
Seungmin couldn't kiss Minho's boyfriend. Seungmin couldn't kiss Jisung. His chest went tight and he was only conscious of the way his heart bumped and he was holding his breathe when he felt Jisung's nose bump his and his breathe fell hot on Seungmin's lips. He closed his eyes because Jisung was too close, but he couldn't move away. He blamed the alcohol, he blamed the emotional turmoil the night had built further, he blamed the rush of thoughts flying in his head. Someone cheered and someone whistled, but Seungmin didn't care because he felt dizzy the moment Jisung's lips were over his.
He parted his lips by instinct, letting Jisung go further than the most innocent peck and the boy sucked on Seungmin's lower lip, dragging a tiny little gasp from the birthday boy right before Minho pulled him back and broke the kiss, "Okay, that's enough, Seungmin will explode."
Felix laughed and Jisung pouted, grabby hands towards Seungmin as Minho dragged him away.
"Jisung is very affectionate when drunk," He heard Chan explain distantly to the new additions of their group.
Right. Right. His stomach felt heavy as he wiped his mouth and reached the cider on the table, serving some of it on the first cup he reached. Jisung was an affectionate drunk. Drunk. Jisung was drunk. "Ah, wait, let me help you with that," Jeongin offered, grabbing the bottle from Seungmin's steady hands. He pulled away, letting the younger do it, because even if his face was impassive and his fingers didn't tremble Seungmin suddenly felt like he wanted to cry.
"Ah, I want some too." Hyunjin chimed in and Jeongin ended up serving cups for everyone as Seungmin sat there and pretended he didn't want to run to his room, like he didn't feel his skin tingling and the anxiety twisting his stomach. Like he didn't wish Jisung also wanted to kiss him sober. He grabbed the cider Jeongin passed his direction and skipped Chan's toast and directly chugged down the whole thing, bubbles tickling his tongue with the distant taste of apples. He felt more than a pair of eyes on himself. But if anyone noticed Seungmin being weird, nobody said anything.
"Okay! Who's up for a round of Halli Galli?" Changbin exclaimed and the whole group forgot the kiss as they set the cards and played a few rounds.
"You're staying late again?"
A hand landed softly in his shoulder with a small squeeze and Seungmin looked up to Park Jihyo. She had sat at the desk next to him since Seungmin joined the company. She had always been nice and sometimes when Seungmin was still struggling with a book she'd roll her chair over to help. Jihyo had more experience and had adopted Seungmin when he was just an intern, even if she wasn't the one assigned to show him the tricks of the job –and some skills that he could only learn in the practice and not at college.
"I'm almost done with this," he said automatically, rubbing his eye under the glasses, "I'll go home after it, noona, don't worry."
The digital clock next to his monitor moved from 19:30 to 19:31.
Jihyo smiled softly but narrowed her eyes knowingly, "You keep saying that." She shook her head as if he was a lost cause and gave up, pulling her hand away. Jihyo grabbed her purse and pushed her chair back in place, "It's Friday. Don't stay too late, alright?"
Seungmin pressed his lips in a smile that was meant to ease her, "Yes, noona." He added in an adorable tone that made her laugh and mess his hair on her way out. His eyes followed her moves until she got to the elevator and, as soon as she was out of his sight, he deflated, melting onto the chair with tiredness and pressed the bridge of his nose.
Jihyo was right. He'd been saying the same thing the whole week, and the week before that, and probably the prior two weeks too. He'd been saying the same thing since his birthday's hangout party. And it had been over a month by now. Over a month of burying himself in work, cups of cold coffee, cold mornings of rushing out and silent nights of coming back when all the lights were off.
He wasn't entirely lying to Jihyo, he did need to finish the last notes and checks on the smutty book he was very close to finish and mark as ready for publishing –and he meant without counting the design discussion process and the marketing. He'd been working non-stop on it after all. If he was busy he didn't had to think about it. About them.
Seungmin sighed, not wanting to continue that train of thoughts, and straightened up his back, stretching his arms above with a tiny hum. He'd been sitting all day. Maybe Jihyo was right and he should go home. He glared at the clock and hesitated, shaking his head and fixing his glasses before going back to stare at his screen, taking a sip from the coffee at his right. It was too early, Minho would still be awake, but if he waited a couple more hours his roommate would grow tired and would seclude himself into his bedroom.
He had found the perfect timing by now, but at first he would still get home while Minho was finishing his own dishes or was sitting in front of the TV while scrolling. He would look up at Seungmin and ask how was his day, tell him he forgot his lunchbox that morning because he left too soon for Minho to make it, and that there was food still warm for him on the counter. Guilt and a weird feeling he didn't want to name pooled in Seungmin's stomach each time. So he had decided to avoid Minho. It worked almost every time, he just had to stay at work a couple more hours, walk slowly to the station and miss one buss to make sure Minho was not the first thing he saw after twisting the keys and pushing the door open.
It hadn't worked perfectly. One time he walked in to Minho sleeping on the couch, phone still in hand and the TV still on, the room mostly dark except for the distant gloom of the bathroom's light slipping through the open door in the hall. Seungmin stood in the entrance for a longer second, eyes on the sleepy form of his hyung, his adorable paw's pattern pants and Seungmin's hair band that he kept borrowing for his skincare routine –if Seungmin told him to buy one, Minho would say there was no need, they had different timing to use the bathroom and he wasn't rich. His lips were pouty, Seungmin discovered as he walked closer, mouth slightly open.
He put his bag aside silently, socks muting his steps as he went to crouch next to where his hyung was sleeping. Seungmin had made sure to go out early in the morning, early enough to not see Minho, early enough for Minho to text him he forgot his lunchbox. Minho was usually asleep by this hour, and even thought it was weird the reason why he had stayed on the sofa watching the TV longer than usual was a not a mystery to Seungmin. There was still an unread notification on his phone –probably Minho asking him not to come home late or scolding him for missing dinner again. Seungmin moved his hand closer, but he had barely touched the tip of Minho's nose when his hyung's eyelashes slowly bated open and he pulled away quickly.
"Your back is gonna hurt if you sleep there, hyung." He hurried, getting up and turning around to busy himself with turning off the TV so he wouldn't see Minho adorably sleepy sitting up and yawning.
"I was waiting for you to come back."
The words hit directly on his back before Seungmin could get his bag and run to his room. Minho got up at some point, and Seungmin felt him get closer, "There is food for you in the kitchen, I bet you didn't have di–"
"I did," he lied, turning to see Minho blinking in confusion. "I had dinner," he said again, but that didn't seem to clean Minho's expression. "You don't need to wait for me if I'm late from work." Seungmin was glad his voice was firm, and not the mess his heart was when the hyung frowned, "Sorry to make you worry. Next time I'll make sure to text if I can't make it in time."
Minho's hand tightened into a fist, "Seungmin, why are you–" He started, but Seungmin moved towards his room quickly.
"Good night, hyung, I'll just shower and go directly to bed."
His roommate had said something else, but Seungmin had still closed the door behind his back and locked it. The routine had continued like that for days, he woke up early in the morning and got out while Minho was taking his shower after running. He perfected the art, so the excuses of forgetting the lunchbox were no longer needed when he didn't give Minho the time to prepare one –though once he had found it already made for him on the table and it felt like he would be too much of an asshole if he left it there.
The plan wasn't perfect, the plan implied he had to make a stop for coffee all mornings at Jeongin's job and see the younger's eyes narrow at him. Worrying, curiosity and confusion. And still, Jeongin didn't ask. Or well, he gave up on trying after Seungmin turned his question one morning with a sour answer. The ginger that raised both eyebrows, foxy eyes widened at what Seungmin realized had sounded rude. He rubbed his cheek and shook his head, taking the coffee from Jeongin –it was quick, the younger knew his favorite and had it ready after learning Seungmin would always come by once in the morning and once in the afternoon after four.
"Sorry. I'm okay", he mumbled, and even though that didn't seem to ease Jeongin, it stopped him from asking again. Waking up earlier than usual and paying for coffee every morning –when he could sleep in and use his machine at home– was a little sacrifice. And he needed the one in the afternoon before the shop closed, it was a long cup –double espresso shot with hot milk and cacao– he kept sipping until it was cold and disgustingly tasteless by his monitor when the clock flashed past ten and he could throw it on the growing pile of cups on his desk's trash bin.
At least, no matter how much caffeine he had on his system, by the time he got home he was tired enough to pass out as soon as he hit the bed: body warm from a hot shower and mouth feeling fresh after brushing his teeth to get rid of the flavor of the instant ramen he had stopped at the convenience stop to eat. He didn't even have time to scroll, and some days he had rushed the journal entry just to lie down.
That was good, because it meant he didn't have time to feel, to think, to open his phone and find himself opening Jisung's page while pushing a hand on his pants.
It wasn't easy to avoid Minho when they'd built a smooth routine through the years and barely seeing him was making Seungmin feel lonely, but it was even harder to avoid Jisung. They didn't have such a practiced routine and, since the book project wasn't on the marketing stage, they didn't have scheduled meetings at work. Yet, Jisung was always around. He came to Seungmin's area during breaks, just to gossip about the people on his floor, just to mess with his notes and make Seungmin's stupid heart twist every single time he threw an easy smile. It ached. It ached when Jisung came for him at lunch time, placing a hand on his shoulder with a lively tone, "Lunch time, ppalli-ppalli!"
He had been focusing, it came out of nowhere and Seungmin wasn't prepared. Or at least those where his excuses when Jisung blinked in a confused and hurt way to Seungmin jumping away as if the contact had burned him. It burned, but in ways Jisung didn't need to know, and that was why he lied, "I already ate". Once, and then again, 'Go ahead, I'll catch you', 'I'm not hungry, I had a something before', 'I will, in five', and again until Jisung got the message with barely the far gesture of Seungmin's hand before he came closer to ask. Sometimes he would skip lunch altogether just for the sake of not going to the cafeteria and having Jisung wave him to join him and Hyunjin. He would buy something from the vending machine down the hall on his floor or wait until his coffee hour on the afternoon and ask Jeongin to serve him some of the daily pastries.
He managed himself just fine with coffee, snacks, convenience store meals and sandwiches from the place across the company for an entire week, before that Tuesday when Jihyo had frowned at his energy bar. "Are you skipping lunch again, Kim Seungmin?" She shook her head in disapproval as Seungmin displayed his best puppy eyes, crumbs on his lips as he turned to his coworker.
"No?"
"Yeah, unfortunately for you, you can't lie to me like you do to Jisung-ah, I sit right here and can see you eat only snacks and coffee through the day." She pointed with a gesture of her hand, standing from her chair after turning off her monitor, "So don't even try, come on, get up, I'm buying you lunch."
Seungmin felt his cheeks warm out of embarrassment, but Jihyo didn't give him a choice and turned off his monitor too, hurrying him until they were on the elevator. He was glad when Jihyo didn't drag him to the company cafeteria –Jisung would be there, and that would be bad– and instead, lacing her arm with his in the way his older sister used to when dragging him through stores, Jihyo guided him to a restaurant two blocks away. She probably noticed his shoulders relaxing because as soon as they sat and picked the ingredients for their hotpot, she fixed him with a softer glare, "Did you and Jisung-ah fight? Is that why you're avoiding him?"
He almost tried to lie, while putting some mushrooms to their pot, but Jihyo's eyes were worried and kind, so he bit the excuse before it came out and sighed, "No, we didn't." He pressed his lips and looked away, opting for adding the meat and watch over the ingredients boiling, "I just… need space."
"From Jisung?" Jihyo's eyebrows went up a bit as she added some meat to the pot and more ingredients on her side, "I thought you were best friends."
His heart twisted. Best friends.
"I guess we are," he said, getting some of the mushrooms out to his plate and trying a bite of them, "Ah."
"Don't burn yourself," she warned softly, waving her chopsticks and fishing some of the kimchi for herself.
"Sorry." He fanned a hand on his mouth and Jihyo only looked at him, expecting while munching. He had been holding it all week, he had been holding it near his heart and it hurt. He couldn't tell Minho, who he told everything before, he couldn't tell Jisung, for obvious reasons, he couldn't tell Felix because he would surely tell Minho and Jisung, he couldn't tell Chan because he would tell him to just confront them, he couldn't tell Hyunjin because he was also friends with Jisung and it would be weird, he couldn't tell Changbin because they weren't close enough yet and he couldn't tell Jeongin because it wasn't something easy to share and he still felt guilty about being harsh when Jeongin worried about his coffee consumption.
But it sat heavy on his chest, a mess that wasn't going away just by ignoring it and forcing himself to stay busy. And yet, he couldn't force himself to speak up, it was too messy, and there were thoughts he didn't know how to voice. After a couple seconds, Jihyo seemed to notice Seungmin was getting anxious and decided to break the tense silence by commenting on the food. The chat became light hearted as if she wanted to let him know it was okay, he didn't need to tell her, but she was there if he wanted someone to lean on. And for the next week Seungmin really tried to do better so Jihyo wouldn't worry again. He forced himself to sit at the cafeteria, sometimes with Jihyo and the other noonas, sometimes with Choi Jisoo –who gave him a weird look–, but never with Jisung.
Jisung. Jisung. Jisung who always found him across the cafeteria and at first had lit up just by seeing him there, raising a hand as to call him to his table. It reminded Seungmin of college. He always turned away and sat somewhere else with a knot on his throat that made his food taste plain. And when Jisung's eyes were too much to bare he went back to staying at his desk and ordered some food for himself. Noodles. Hamburger. Chicken. Pizza. Anything that was big enough to fill his stomach and kept Jihyo from scolding him.
He had repeated the cycle for days.
On the weekend he had ran to his sister's place, no explanation, just that he missed her had been enough of a excuse. And then when Monday came he repeated. Waking up when Minho went out for a run, showering in a rush and going out when the hyung just got back and into his morning shower, taking the cup coffee from Jeongin's hand and having enough time to walk the remaining blocks to his company, rereading the same lines until his brain was mashed potatoes, kimchi stew for lunch brought by the delivery guy right to his desk, a couple trips to the male's bathroom just to refresh his face and keep himself awake, a break at four to get another coffee –sometimes from Jeongin's Café but other times the place closer to his office was okay–, and then read, note, mark and correct until his eyes were burning and the clock flashed 21:03.
Like yesterday, like today, like tomorrow.
Ignore Felix's texts, send Minho a slightly different version of 'I'll be late today, don't wait for me for dinner', pretend to be okay if he met Jisung on the elevator or Minho if his timing was slightly bad one day. He would ride an almost empty bus home, Day6 blasting in his ears to mute his own thoughts, stop at the convenience store for some instant ramen and a cup of tea that fought the caffeine in his system, walk the rest of the way to his apartment while sipping on it and make a silent entrance to hide in his room and pass out on the bed after a rushed night routine.
Maybe if he kept going like that long enough he would finally forget it, he would get over it and be normal again. He would get over them, he would forget what it was like to crave lips on his lips and feel like his friend's eyes on him meant something more. Seungmin wasn't sure his method was working, considering the amount of times he found himself missing Jisung's silly jokes, thinking about Minho's food, or having a last impulse to scroll on his phone and watch his best friend's boyfriend get off while he was falling asleep. But mostly he found himself going back to Jisung's birthday night and the way they had fit on the sofa, like always, naturally, comfortable, like puzzle pieces that were easy to match. Like if Seungmin also belonged in Minho and Jisung's space, like he was wanted there, petting Jisung's hair and helping Minho in the kitchen.
And there he was again. Thoughts wandering and the letters on his screen starting to feel blurry. The clock flashed 21:13. He reached for his cup of coffee and sipped air, the annoying sound of sucking into nothing felt too loud on the almost empty floor. The lights above where off and besides Seungmin's there was no single desk lit up in the section. He set the cup aside and rubbed a hand on his face, pushing his glasses up for a short second. He stared blankly at his monitor, just letting the silence settle on his shoulders, the clock hit 21:30 when his phone's screen lighted with a notification.
He reached for it and unlocked it to see there were a few. Jisung had been texting him intermittently for the past three hours. Seungmin had consciously avoided his phone all day, so he had also a few texts from Felix's and his friend's group chat. Jeongin had also texted, wanting to know if Seungmin was free to play video-games tonight like they had done two nights ago when he couldn't make himself go home. But it was the last one that got his attention.
Minho: are u staying with Jeongin tonight again?
[received at 21:30]
It was casual, like if Minho wasn't mad at him, like if he was just waiting for Seungmin to come back to their normal life. And it hurt, not because he thought Minho was oblivious to something going on –it was too obvious to pretend he wouldn't know– but because it was Minho's birthday and he had known it all day. He was avoiding Minho, but Minho was his friend, and he didn't want to lose him by being an asshole. He just needed distance, distance that would help him see the picture clean again and not distance that would break them. That was why that morning he slowed down his routine enough to meet Minho when he came out of his shower and wish him a happy birthday.
Minho had frozen a bit, blinking like a confused cat, hair dripping onto the towel on his shoulders. He didn't see the hyung's ears reddening, but he saw the hesitation. And it had done something to Seungmin's stomach, so he rushed for his bag, "There is coffee and your present on the counter. See you tonight."
He had avoided the idea all day, and almost forgot it. He considered lying. Saying something had come up, like he did two nights ago, and accepting Jeongin's invitation to crash on his sofa. But the idea sat sour on his stomach as he read the rest of Jisung's messages.
Jisung: don't work late today
[received at 16:53]
Jisung: I have reservation for the Japanese place hyung like
Jisung: dinner at 7
[Jisung sent a location]
Jisung: can u make it?
[received at 17:10]
Jisung: Seungmin?
Jisung: You coming?
Jisung: ?
[received at 19:04]
Jisung: we're going home, u can still buy dessert and join us for a movie.
[received 20:01]
Seungmin pressed his lips, and before he could think twice turned off his computer and stood up, gathering his stuff and walking long steps to the elevator. He texted a quick answer to Minho after pressing the button, but it remained unseen. Probably they had already started the movie and his hyung had set the phone aside. It didn't matter. His heart was racing as he made his way out of the building, barely nodding to the guard on the entrance before hurrying to the bus stop. He had to run the last couple meters and jump to get the bus that passed by at 21:45 –otherwise he would need to wait thirty more minutes, and he was late enough. The driver gave him an annoyed look as Seungmin panted, the door closing on his back.
"Sorry." He muttered, paying with a quick bow and setting down in the closest seat.
He breathed deeply a couple times before grabbing his phone again and taking a second to answer the other texts. Jeongin first, Felix next. He didn't comment on the group chat, but scrolled down the mountain of teasing, plans for the weekend by Felix, and polite congratulations to Minho from Hyunjin and Changbin –the most recent additions to the chat. He was still unread on Minho's chat and he didn't dare to answer Jisung, so he just locked his phone and stared to the window, feeling his limbs heavy with tiredness.
It was chilly when he reached his stop. Seungmin hadn't realize before but now he rubbed his arms under the sweater, he had forgot his outside coat. It was getting cold, the first snow was probably around the corner. He hurried his steps, stopping only by the convenience store for a quick apologetic purchase that hanged from his hand in the shape of a plastic bag as he made it upstairs. His nose was red from the cold and the clock hit 22:15 when he finally turned the key on the door and entered the apartment, kicking his shoes even before he was fully inside.
"I'm hom–"
A high pitched moan that was unmistakably Jisung's cut his words and Seungmin glared up from the entrance's floor to the sofa in the same quick motion two heads broke a loose kiss and turned in his direction. The door clicked closed, but Seungmin couldn't move: one shoe still on, eyes glued to the contrast between Jisung's honey skin and Minho's pale but flushed one. The hyung sitting, Jisung on his lap holding onto the sofa's back as his boyfriend's hands gripped an imprecise portion of skin between Jisung's hips and his ass. Minho had his shirt on. But that didn't made any better because from this angle Seungmin saw Minho's dick buried deep in Jisung and Jisung's flushed one against the hyung's shirt.
It took him a while to accept it was okay to not be Minho's favorite person, it took him more time and a night of Jisung drunk babbling that he liked Seungmin and wanted to be his friend too to accept that it was okay for Jisung to be that person for Minho. And after that, it was surprisingly easy to give Jisung space in his life. Maybe it was because Jisung had seen through him and had a heart kind enough to not fight for Minho's love and attention and instead he worked to make himself a spot without pushing Seungmin out.
It had been weird at first, the feelings that tasted acid on Seungmin's tongue didn't melt away immediately, the idea of Jisung telling Minho about his feelings making him step carefully around the boy. But Jisung was sweet and soon it was obvious he was really trying to be a friend for Seungmin and not just Seungmin's friend's boyfriend. He found himself more and more comfortable with Jisung in their space, and with joining them wherever they invited him: the aquarium, a new Café they wanted to try, a picnic near the Han river, the pool where Jisung tried to teach Minho to swim and Seungmin filmed for blackmailing.
Minho and Jisung where the ones who kept inviting him to be there –a casual text, a random 'get ready, we're helping Jisung with groceries', or Jisung physically dragging Seungmin out of his room to join them for a movie. They didn't seem bothered by Seungmin's presence, and Seungmin grew comfortable and a bit too bold and stupid. He would even forget the two of them were dating and it wasn't just three friends hanging out and laughing at Jisung's weird takes while cloud glazing. He would forget until Jisung sat on Minho's lap or hugged him from behind, until Minho smiled at the boy with that grin that was only for Jisung, until they held hands while walking, until one hand went over the limit of friendship to grip at the other's thigh while laughing at the table. They weren't as much into public displays of affection as Chan and Felix, so it was easy for Seungmin to forget.
And most times, it was fine.
He would just look away, pretend he didn't saw their silent exchange and ignore the twist of his belly. But sometimes, before he could catch himself, his lips would turn in a scoff and then when Jisung turned affectionately to tease him for his childish disgust for physical touch he would have to pretend he didn't enjoy the attention. He would pretend not to like when his best friend's boyfriend tried to tickle him or pulled him by the waist calling him 'Seungminnie' in a sweet teasing tone until his cheeks were red. He would pretend he didn't enjoy Minho's smile and the way his eyes shined with affection every time he looked at his boyfriend annoying his best friend.
It was fine.
Or at least it was until they went to Osaka, until Seungmin found himself in the bathroom with eyes closing and a guilty hand moving, until he lied down feeling his heart heavy to the reminder he wasn't really a part of it. And he would never be one, because Seungmin was just their friend, the friend they liked to have around because apparently he was funny or something, the friend Jisung came to when he was having a hard time, the friend Minho cared about because he was the responsible hyung. So he tried stepping away, a bit, just enough to remind himself he was okay with what they had. That implied staying some nights at Felix's and playing video-games until he passed out on the blond's couch, that implied not accepting the invitation to join them for the movies, that implied skipping some lunches and being careful enough to never be in the room –or even better if he wasn't in the same apartment at all– if they got horny.
But Jisung.
Jisung barged into his room one day, ignoring all of Seungmin's attempts to establish the right boundaries. He had just freshly moved in with Minho a couple months ago, and his room was a bit of a mess, a place he was still getting use to. Back then when he questioned why did Minho offered him to move in together and not roomed with his boyfriend, his hyung had simply said Jisung liked to have his space and Seungmin was more organized. Not that it mattered since Jisung, still unemployed, was there all the time. Like that afternoon as he pushed the door open, calling for Seungmin and holding his phone up, "Seungminnie!"
"What?" He looked up from the mess in his closet where he was folding the clean laundry.
"I got us tickets for the Giants this Saturday night!" Jisung said, and noticing Seungmin's surprise he came closer to show him the digital receipt of three tickets to see the game at the Jamsil Baseball Stadium that same weekend. He opened his mouth and closed it again as he wasn't sure how did Jisung managed to get them considering it was so soon and the amount of baseball fans of the two teams playing in Seoul that Saturday. It was a game Seungmin wouldn't miss, but his plan was to watch it on TV, not personally.
"How did you–…"
Jisung smirked, looking proud as he giggled, "All those years getting tickets for concerts gave me skills." He said and Seungmin scoffed in a mocking way that make Jisung hit his shoulder, "Those are valuable skills!"
"Put it on your resume, maybe you'll get a job."
Jisung gasped and Seungmin couldn't help to laugh a bit, seeing him fuss and pout until Minho titled his head from the door, "I'm home."
"Great, get your boyfriend back."
"Hyung!" the boyfriend sulked, immediately pointing at Seungmin, like a kid, "I got us tickets for a game and Seungmin is not appreciating it." He pouted and Minho smiled in that way he did when he found someone adorable –and by someone Seungmin meant Jisung.
"I appreciate it." He retorted, "I just don't know why you did that."
"Because you like baseball and you keep going to games on your own," Jisung said, as if it was obvious, as if it was something bad that Seungmin went alone.
"That's not true. Sometimes I go with people from high-school. From the baseball club." He glared at Minho, "I even went with you once."
"Yeah, well, but you've never taken me to a game," Jisung sulked.
"You don't like baseball," Seungmin pointed.
"Well, Minho doesn't like it either!"
"At least he knows the rules."
"I can learn the rules!" Jisung bated his arms in a defeated move, still pouting, "It can't be that hard, I know volleyball!"
"You watched Haykuu," He snorted, "And you don't even watch sports on TV. Hyung used to go see me play in high-school."
"Because you were playing, not because I like sports." Minho muttered, and before Seungmin could feel his cheeks go warm he kept talking, stopping their pointless argument, "When is the game?"
"Saturday." Jisung showed him the receipt on his phone. Three tickets. Good seats even.
"Oh, isn't that our anniversary night?" He raised his eyebrows and Jisung checked the phone calendar quickly, clicking his tongue, "Yeah, it is." Minho hummed.
"I don't think it's a problem, the reservation is for seven and the game doesn't start until nine," Jisung said.
"Okay, cool, then I'll just call and ask them to change it from two people to three people," Minho agreed easily, as if it wasn't an issue at all that his boyfriend invited their friend to their dating anniversary.
Seungmin's mouth moved quicker than his thoughts, no filter, no way to soften his confusion, "I don't wanna be third-wheeling." He regretted it as soon as the two pair of eyes stared as him as if he had grown a second head or something. Embarrassment pooled in his stomach and painted his cheeks as he slowly tried to fix it, "It's your anniversary night." His tongue felt a bit heavy, "It's supposed to be romantic, no?"
"Uh, well…" Jisung started, but Seungmin shook his head and one hand to stop him.
"You can resell the tickets. I'll watch it on the TV," he said, "And you both go out and have your date without me bothering."
Seungmin wasn't sure what of that statement made Minho frown, "You don't bother us, Seungmin."
"Yeah, in general, but I would be out of place in a romantic dinner, hyung," Seungmin said, pressing his lips and feeling some short of anger on the top of his stomach, "I'm okay." He looked at Jisung, "I like to go see games on my own, alright? I know how to enjoy my own company."
They exchanged a look but Seungmin couldn't read their silent conversation. Another thing to feel excluded from, he guessed. He used to have those silent moments where only one glare would tell him Minho's thoughts. Now that was Jisung's too. He bit the inside of his mouth and shook his head, going back to fold clothes and avoiding to look at them.
"Okay, listen, Seungmin…" It was Minho who started, but considering the both of them could get easier into an argument if Seungmin was already mad, maybe it was smart that Jisung stepped in instead.
"I already got the tickets, and I'm not reselling them, I wanna… we wanna go watch the game with you," he stated, "I'm sorry if we ever made you feel out of place," his voice softened with the apology, "If it makes you uncomfortable… then we could just meet at the stadium after dinner. But I'm not getting rid of the tickets, I'm gonna go watch that game, whether you are there to explain it to me or not."
When Seungmin turned to look at him Jisung was crossing his arms and pouting, and he was probably imagining the red on Minho's ears.
"And I got us fucking good seats."
"We don't invite you to stuff because we feel pity or something," the hyung added in rasher tone, grabbing Jisung's hand to pull him out of the room, "Come, Sung, let him, he's being stupid."
Seungmin stood there, even when the door closed, feeling his heart flutter. There was still a bit of anger in it, mixed with confusion and embarrassment. Minho had known him for years so of course he could read him better than Jisung. His words hit and Seungmin toyed with them in his head until the smell of food came from the kitchen and he, albeit hesitant, went out and picked a serving for himself as he heard them chatting over the TV noise on the sofa. He stood there a longer second, closed his eyes and sighed before ditching the table to go sit on the armchair, not missing the two set of eyes that turned to him but avoided to make a big deal of him joining them and continued eating and talking like if nothing happened.
"I wanna go see the game," Seungmin said at some point, not looking at them but knowing they were looking at him, "I guess I can join you at the stadium after your dinner."
He had set the boundaries for his own good, and when Jisung smiled a bit and Minho nodded accepting his words before going back to the chat but including Seungmin now, he thought it would be just fine.
The silence hung heavy for a long second after the door clicked locked behind Seungmin's back. He couldn't move, he couldn't even blink, two pair of eyes keeping him glued on the spot. Look away. His cheeks felt warm and Seungmin was sure his face was as red as Jisung's. Move. Seungmin opened his mouth to say something, but, "I–…", no sound came out. Anything. Do anything. Heat pooled down to his belly and he felt drip to his dick. Shut up. His thoughts were too loud, going in all directions. So pretty. Seungmin was sure he would die of embarrassment on the spot. Say something. SAY SOMETHING.
Jisung opened his mouth, as if he was gonna talk, or maybe moan again because Minho's grip on his hips hadn't softened, and Seungmin snapped out of it before he could do either.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, stepping back and drifting his eyes downwards as he tried to cover his face, tripping with his own shoe and dropping his bag, but finding his balance without falling down. Fuck.
"Seungmin–" Minho said in a small voice.
"I'll…" He gestured with his hands, trying to point towards his room and struggling to kick his remaining shoe.
"Seungmin."
The puddings. He leaned down and picked up the bag, praying they weren't ruined.
"I'm sorry, I didn't saw anything, I'll leave this on the kitchen and go to my room, don't–"
"Wait, Seungmin-ah!" It was Jisung who called, freezing Seungmin as he was about to leave. He didn't turn, he wasn't sure he could tear his eyes away a second time. He held the bag tighter, "You can stay."
What? The words didn't make sense in his head. You can stay. He turned his head around, a clear mistake as he made eye contact with Jisung and his friend's eyes were round and vulnerable, a mix of hesitation –like if he was afraid to mess up– and something dark too close to hope. Minho was also looking, lips slightly parted in a shy pout as he had to bend his neck over the sofa's back to see Seungmin.
"You don't have to go," Jisung repeated, his voice as shy as Minho looked.
Seungmin blinked, and confusion must've been clear on his face when Jisung bit his lip and looked down at his boyfriend for help. Minho met Seungmin's eyes then, ears red, "We… we don't mind if you look." His words felt tiny and Seungmin wasn't sure what to do with them.
Say something, Seungmin.
"Yeah," Jisung agreed, "We would even… like if you stayed."
Move. Look away. Anything.
"Jisung likes being watched," Minho said and Seungmin's eyes followed the way his hyung's fingers mapped the younger's side as he resisted the urge to say he knew. "He likes it more if it's you… I don't mind if it's you."
Look away. Look away.
Jisung moaned softly and his hips twitched, getting a groan from Minho.
"And you like to look, don't you?" The camboy said, biting his lip as if he was testing the waters, seeing how far he could twist the line, how far they could play with Seungmin's mind. He moved his hips again, this time intentional, and Minho's hand found his nipple.
And you like to look, don't you?
"What?" Seungmin frowned, his body turning to face them fully as he took another step away. Jisung didn't stop his hips, and Seungmin could feel the embarrassment eat him as a problem grew in his pants. He liked to look, didn't he? Not only to look. Probably. He would probably like to touch or be touched too.
But that wasn't on the table. Something sour turned on his stomach.
"What does that even means?" He heard himself asking, hand gripping the plastic bag with unnecessary strength.
"You're subscribed to Jisung's channel," Minho said, but he frowned as if he had found something in Seungmin's expression that made him hesitate, "So we thought you–"
It was too much. A sour taste, like bile, on the back of his throat, a hand twisting his heart and the heat on his belly dying under the crumbling weight of embarrassment, of enlightenment. They knew. They knew. Or at least they thought they knew him. A part of him felt exposed, the other angry. They knew nothing. He frowned, and he didn't realize he was about to cry until his own voice was wet in his ears.
"I'm not a fucking toy to get off to," he groaned, pressed his lips and shook his head, angrily dropping the bag in the table. Fuck the peace puddings.
The tone seemed to break it for Jisung, who stopped with a hurt expression and was still confused as Minho pushed him off his lap, calling for his friend, "Seungminnie, that's not–"
"What?!" He snapped, not sure where to look as both of them were still naked on the couch, but not able to stop, "You've been playing with me for weeks!" Minho covered himself with the closest cushion, "And I've been going fucking crazy and ignoring my feelings while you guys just want a fun time while Seungmin the pervert watches?" Jisung, who had just found his boxers and put them on quickly, opened his mouth to say something but Seungmin cut him before he could, "Well, fuck you! Fuck you because I love both of you, because I've never liked anyone else like this and I don't know what to do with it, and all I get back is you wanting me to watch."
The words fell into a silence that felt heavy on Seungmin's throat. Jisung's eyes widened and Minho froze on his feet, where he was trying to reach for his pants, blinking up like a confused cat, "You love us?"
Seungmin heard a sob and took him a second too long to realize it was his own. He took a furious hand up to clean his face, but the tears kept coming up, it was pointless and he still covered his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, lips trembling, "I always have!" His voice feels too loud, he didn't want to yell, not when he saw Jisung tearing up too, but he couldn't help it, "But that's not–…" He pressed his lips, trying to put his mental turmoil into words. It had been growing on him for days.
Seungmin loved them. Yes. He always had, but that was never an issue until he wanted to feel loved back. Until he wanted them to want him and love him in a different way. Until he realized he wanted to touch them, to kiss them, to feel with them what others felt in a less selective way: alive with his skin pressed against others skin. Seungmin let out a frustrated groan, not sure how to express himself. It was a mess on his head. It was an even bigger mess on his tongue.
"I don't know. Fuck. Fuck you. I'm not… I'm sorry." He shook his head and rushed down the hall towards his room before any of them could stop him. He heard both of them calling, but he clicked his door closed and locked it from inside before letting himself fall onto the floor, pulling his legs up and ignoring the knocks.
"Seungmin." Minho's voice was the calmer, "Seungminnie, open the door for hyung."
"We didn't meant it like that." Jisung sounded a bit scared, a bit like if he also wanted to cry, "please just…"
"Go away." His words had rough edges and hurt his throat. "I don't wanna talk about it."
They tried a couple more times, but Seungmin ignored them. He was tired. He was so fucking tired. At some point they gave up and the knocking stopped. Seungmin didn't move, not even when he heard their voices low and their footsteps going away. He wasn't sure how long he stayed there, his lower back started hurting, but his mind was a mess. Seungmin hugged his head low over his knees, grabbing a bunch of his hair as his sobs calmed but his thoughts didn't.
"It's not weird," Jeongin had said. The conversation happened a few nights ago, the time he didn't have the courage to come home and ended up texting his younger friend to crash on his sofa. Jeongin hadn't question it at first, but it was obvious by his eyes that he knew something was happening. They played some video games and ordered take out because apparently Jeongin fridge was pretty much empty since he ate the last batch of food his mother sent to him from Busan –as Jeongin's hyung, Seungmin felt the need to treat him and restock his fridge with groceries, but it was late so he opted for chicken and sodas.
Conversation hadn't wavered, it was easy to talk to Jeongin, from the most recent show they were watching, to the games, to Jeongin's college struggles and the book Seungmin was working on, they kept hopping onto the next topic until Seungmin's phone buzzed with a text and his expression fell upon checking it. It had been then when Jeongin finally asked, it had been then when Seungmin had told anyone for the first time. Lying on the couch and looking at the ceiling as Jeongin stared at him from the floor where he sat by the coffee table.
It was easy to tell Jeongin. He voiced most of it: Jisung's channel, Seungmin getting an interest on it even if he had never really cared about sex, how he wasn't sure what being attracted to someone meant, how he had always liked and cared for Minho a little bit too much, how Jisung knew he was in love with Minho, how crazy he had been going with their interactions and how he was avoiding it because he didn't know what to do with it, because there was nothing he could do with it. Jeongin hadn't really helped with the relationship mess between the three of them –aside from some cryptic comment about it making sense–, but then when Seungmin tried to put into words how he'd been feeling physically and the struggles he felt like shouldn't be struggles, Jeongin hummed, "It's not weird," he had said, "You're just probably somehow in the asexual spectrum, hyung."
Seungmin had sat up, feeling vulnerable and frowning, "Uh?"
"You know, like…" Jeongin gestured awkwardly with the soda on his hand, "People who doesn't experience sexual attraction or experience it in different ways or with less intensity than allosexual people."
He blinked, the words naming stuff he didn't know it could be named, "Is that…?"
"A thing? Yeah, hyung, it pretty much is. Fucked up? Not necessarily?" Jeongin giggled, "For what you're saying you do experience some sexual attraction…" He gestured vaguely towards Seungmin, "In your own way. The specific label… well, that's yours to find out."
They'd talked about it further, Jeongin had made a naver search for him and they had read most of the entries and blogs to see what Seungmin could relate too. Labeling himself wasn't something he liked, specially when definitions felt too cold or closed. And still, it helped. Seungmin was thinking back to it when he heard a new knock and was pulled out of the memory as Minho's voice came through the door.
"I brought you something to eat," Minho was saying. He made a small pause but when Seungmin didn't answer he sighed and continued, "I'm assuming you didn't have dinner yet. So I'm gonna leave it here."
He heard the tray being set down but he didn't hear Minho's footsteps so he didn't move to open the door even when his stomach grumbled. "Seungmin. I know you're mad, but can we at least talk?" Silence. And then Minho sighed and Seungmin imagined him sitting down by the way his voice felt closer when he gave up, "Okay, you don't need to talk. But listen to me. You're listening, right?"
He bit his lip and lifted his fist enough to knock once on the door behind him. Only once. Weak. It seemed to be enough answer for Minho, "I'm sorry. We are sorry, Jisung too, but he is afraid of confronting you right now. Specially because you've been avoiding him, us, for a while."
Seungmin huffed, the grip on his pants tightening.
"I'm not good at this." Minho let out an awkward laugh and Seungmin felt him rest his head against the door with a soft thud, "Chan would tell me to just go for it, be open and shit, so I'll just say it."
Seungmin raised his head and turned to look at the door, like if he could see Minho on the other side, siting with one of his legs extended and the other supporting one of his arms.
"I love you."
He hugged his legs closer, feeling his eyes wet again.
Minho wasn't one to say those words lightly. In all the years Seungmin had known him, he heard it just a couple times directed to himself. Once when they were drunk in college, right before Minho and Jisung started dating, and once in high school, the day Seungmin cried because Minho was graduating first and leaving him behind. He had other wordless ways to say it, Seungmin had learned: cooking, letting Seungmin invite him to food, telling him to go to bed when he stayed up trying to catch up on assignments, scolding him for dressing too lightly when the weather was cold, using the stupid cat mug that Seungmin had bought him, and stealing his hairband and shampoo 'accidentally'. Seungmin knew Minho cared about him, but putting it into words was different. Like if Minho was trying to translate himself, so Seungmin would finally understand.
I love you.
Seungmin wasn't sure what to do with the words, Seungmin wasn't sure what they meant but they felt heavy, important, a precious thing to treasure near his heart.
"I liked you since high school," Minho continued, no longer hoping for an answer from Seungmin's side, "You were cute, like a lost and annoying puppy following me around. A cute puppy who insisted on being my friend." He laughed softly at the memories, "I was never sure why you liked me. But you became my first friend in a while and I fell in love with you."
Seungmin heard some hustle, as if Minho was readjusting, maybe pulling both knees up, "I was no better than those girls who went to the baseball matches just to see you. But unlike them you smiled to me, and kept giving me your dessert from the cafeteria. Ah, I was scared that you didn't feel the same. I thought you didn't, I thought you weren't interest in dating or… anything. I think I heard you say so while rejecting one of the girls once, before you told me, back in college."
He didn't remembered that.
"I thought if I told you and you rejected me then we couldn't even be friends. So I preferred to have you, even if it was just platonically." Minho sighed, making a short pause, "I… You weren't interested in nobody, I assumed that we were okay like that, that what we had was enough for both of us. I was afraid when you befriended Felix, but even then I kept being your favorite person and it was okay." Seungmin could almost hear the smile on Minho's voice, "And then there was Jisung."
He couldn't help to snort and he was sure Minho heard it.
"You know… when he confessed to me and I told him I loved you and he said he didn't care, that he liked you too, and that he had planned to confess to you too, because he thought we both were dating." An awkward laugh and then a sigh, "It was… it took him a lot more words than that. But I told him we weren't actually dating and that you weren't interest in that or in people."
"You assumed a lot," Seungmin whispered.
"I'm sorry." Minho's voice was tiny, vulnerable. There was a short silence, like if the hyung expected him to say more, but since Seungmin didn't, he continued, "You were always a part of us when we started dating. When you started pulling away and 'giving us space' we thought you were uncomfortable and we had stepped over the line… so we tried to keep it in just friends."
Seungmin huffed.
"And then you started watching Jisung's lives. I noticed because of the user. And the night of Jisung's birthday when we… well, we thought that maybe you were interested in more now. We tested the waters, but you brought Jeongin to your birthday." Minho scoffed, "It was a bit confusing and Jisung couldn't handle it, so he asked him later if you two were dating but Jeongin just laughed and said no." There was a bit of a pause, and Seungmin ran a hand through his hair, trying to keep up with Minho's words as he felt overwhelmed, "I'm sorry. We're sorry. We didn't meant to make you feel like a toy we wanted to get off with."
Tears rushed up again and he wished Minho left so he could just go to sleep, even if he was not sure he could sleep if he lied down now.
"We've always consider you a part of us. If… If you want to be. Not just in sex. Even if you don't want the sex part. I love you too… and I always hoped you could love me like I know you love Minho," Jisung said then, and Seungmin straightened his back, wondering how long had he been there, silently letting Minho talk.
Maybe he was sat too, maybe they were holding hands. Maybe they meant it. Maybe Seungmin should say something, but nothing came up.
"Seungmin-ah…"
"I'll leave the food here." Minho said, and Seungmin heard him get up, "Don't let it get cold."
"But Hyung…?"
"He will talk to us when he feels like it, jagiya."
He heard the whispers and then the footsteps walking away.
He didn't realize he was falling asleep until he fell to the side and hit his head on the wardrobe. "Ah–" The pain woke Seungmin up immediately as he hissed and sat back up, rubbing his head. His lower back was also in pain and he wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there, he just knew he was exhausted. It had been a long day. A long week. A long month even. He needed at least twelve hours of sleep, but preferably not on the floor but on his bed. He yawned and stood up on wobbly legs, he needed a shower and maybe eat something –his stomach grumbled and he hadn't had the courage to grab the food Minho had left for him.
Seungmin took a look at his phone. His room was dark, he hadn't even turn the lights on before. It was past midnight, so it had been a couple hours, but still he stopped to listen through his door for a second. Nothing. Both of them had probably gone to sleep. Good. After grabbing clean clothes, Seungmin unlocked the door, pulled it open and with the swift move the person that had fallen asleep against it, fell backwards and hit his head on the floor, effectively waking up with the impact.
"F–…" Jisung took a hand to his head, eyes blinking open and as soon as he saw Seungmin hovering above him his face lost all sign of pain and he sat up quickly, "Seungmin-ah."
"Why were you sitting there?" Seungmin shook his head softly when Jisung immediately opened his mouth to answer and held his clothes higher, moving his eyes away and gesturing vaguely to the bathroom, "I need a shower."
Jisung got up, supporting himself on the door frame, "Oh, yeah. Sure. Hm. I can wait."
He meet his friend's eyes for a second, feeling his cheeks warm. Jisung knew Seungmin had watched him. He lowered his head and hummed, hurrying his way to the bathroom and not looking back. He locked himself in and ran a hot shower, rubbing his skin and scalp like if that would make him feel less floaty. The mirror was foggy when he picked up his toothbrush and went around his night skincare routine with the towel on his shoulder. He could've skipped that, he still needed to eat something so he would probably need to brush again, but he needed the extra minutes the brushing gave him before coming back out of the bathroom and facing Jisung.
The boy had changed into sweatpants and a big hoodie that probably belonged to Minho, and Seungmin found him sitting on his bed when he crossed the space back to his room. Jisung lifted his head right away, putting his phone aside and standing quickly with an awkward motion. Seungmin pressed his lips, feeling his heart do a weird twist to the way Jisung's big eyes were pointed at him with something similar to hope. Okay. The boba eyes followed him as Seungmin went to sit on the bed, next to where Jisung had been, and the boy sat back immediately, trying to meet Seungmin's eyes in vain.
"Seungmin-ah, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have waited outside of the door, I know you need space and time, but I got really anxious and even when hyung told me I should just let you be, I couldn't help but–"
"I'm sorry." Seungmin fidgeted with the hem of his white shorts, still not looking at Jisung, "I was avoiding you because I didn't know what to do with…" He vaguely gestured to himself, "It doesn't matter, I just know I've been acting like an idiot for the past weeks and I wanted to say I'm sorry."
"It's okay, you…"
"I've never understand physical attraction." Seungmin cut him again, "I still don't fully understand it, so I'm sorry I can't really explain. I just couldn't stop looking–" He bit his lip and sighed before continuing the best he could, "I thought it was just because you looked really sexy and were in a sexy setting… you know? Like it was meant to make me feel like that."
Jisung didn't move, big eyes still turned to Seungmin as the boy tried to explain himself.
"But then when I tried other stuff, I realized it was you more than anything else." Seungmin shook his head, running a hand through his wet hair, "And I was so confused and yet couldn't let go of the feeling. I didn't… like… It didn't matter what you were doing as long as it was you. It made more sense when Minho was on it… because I like him, and I…" The words rolled heavy on his tongue, "I know I'd loved him for a while. So It would've made more sense if it was because he was always involved. Right? But… you."
He turned his face and found Jisung's eyes, "Me?"
"You."
"What about me?" Jisung let out a weak laugh, clearly anxious.
"I like you."
Jisung fidgeted and moved, bringing one of his legs up to the mattress to be able to face Seungmin fully, but after a second he seemed not to know what to answer and let out a weak smile that tried to be playful and light hearted, as if he couldn't stand the heavy feeling much longer, "Because I'm really sexy?"
Seungmin scoffed, rolling his eyes and sending him a glare for trying to break the awkward moment, "No."
"No?"
"I like you because I love you." He glared at the way Jisung's cheeks colored and he wanted to touch there so bad his fingers were itchy, "It made sense I liked you the same way I liked Minho, because I also love you."
"Oh."
"Hm."
"Can I kiss you?"
Seungmin stared at him for a second, stealing a glance at Jisung's lips and feeling his heart bump faster. He brought his eyes back up to notice Jisung was staring back in the same way, something similar to longing on his pupils. He nodded, "Please," barely a small sound, but it was enough. Jisung launched himself and met Seungmin's lips without hesitation, plump lips softly but hungrily finding his.
Seungmin melted to the warm touch of Jisung's hands on his cheeks and he leaned forward, a hand supporting himself on the mattress and the other finding Jisung's jaw. They broke the kiss for barely a second before Seungmin pushed his lips together again.
He wasn't sure what he was doing, but Jisung was okay guiding him. He felt the brush of tongue but didn't get to part his mouth and allow it because there was a knock on his open door and Seungmin jolted, his glasses hitting Jisung on the eye and they parted with parallel groans and Jisung's hand covering his eye as Seungmin turned around. Minho glared at them from the door and Seungmin wasn't sure how much he had seen or heard. He felt himself blush.
"Ah, hyung," Jisung mumbled, rubbing his eye and blinking it open.
"Can I come in?" He was looking at Seungmin.
Seungmin nodded and moved a bit so Minho could also sit in bed with them. Minho's eyes were burning on his, but Seungmin couldn't look away, not even when the hyung's leg touched his and he felt his throat closing a bit. Years. There were years accumulated on the tip of his tongue. He opened his mouth, not sure were to start, but his stomach decided to growl then, reminding him he was hungry and bringing Minho's attention to the tray Jisung had moved onto Seungmin's desk while coming in.
"You didn't touch the food."
"I'm sorry." His voice sounded wet and Minho looked up while blinking in confusion, like a lost cat. Seungmin's chest tightened and before he knew it he felt his lips tremble with a soft cry and tears spilled, "Hyung-g, I–…"
Minho expression softened and he pulled Seungmin into his arms. The boy melted on his best friend's chest, hiding his nose into his neck and finding the comfortable smell of Minho's soap to bring up more tears. There was a hand on his hair as his own fingers gripped Minho's shirt and someone rubbed his back softly. "I'm sorry," he kept mumbling into his hyung's neck until Minho hummed and hugged him tighter, pressing his face into Seungmin's shoulder. He felt the older tremble and didn't realize Minho was also crying until he heard him sob.
"Even if you're mad at me, don't you ever fucking leave the lunchbox I make for you behind."
"I'm sorry," he repeated, a sob shaking his shoulders, "I promise I won't do it again. I'm sorry."
"Kim Seungmin pabo."
"Hyung."
"Hm."
"I love you."
"I know."
He shook his head softly, the best he could without moving away from where he was buried on Minho's neck, "No. I love you," he repeated, clinging to his hyung, "Since high school. I love you, hyung."
Seungmin felt Minho take in a shaky breath and he heard a tiny, "I love you too," whispered onto his shoulder.
He would have almost forgotten Jisung was there if it wasn't because the other boy was still making soft circles on his back. When Jisung leaned in to kiss the top of Minho's head the hyung pulled him into the hug as well, squeezing Seungmin in between as Jisung patted his boyfriend's hair and circled the other's boy waist with an arm. It was a mess of a hug and soon the three of them where lying down, Seungmin in between, one hand clinging to Minho and the other finding Jisung's fingers on top of his stomach. Minho's sob died faster, and he was soon breathing softly on Seungmin's hair, while Jisung nuzzled on the back of his neck. And for the first time in long, Seungmin felt he belonged, right there, tangled between two pair of arms and with one leg on top of his trapping him in the hug.
His voice wasn't wet anymore when he talked again.
"I wanted more," Seungmin found himself muttering and they let him talk, "But at the same time I felt like an intruder, so I kept pulling away, because it hurt me to want more than I was supposed to from my friends who were just being nice enough not to let me hang out." He took a deep breathing, feeling his voice shaky again, "I wanted to belong. So bad. I wanted you to mean it when you kept inviting me to things or when I was allowed to join you on the sofa for movie's night and Jisung cuddled me." He felt Jisung leave a kiss on his shoulder and Minho's hand caress his side.
"You do." Minho said, making Seungmin open his eyes to look up a bit, in time for his hyung to adjust his glasses softly, "You belong."
"So stop pulling away," Jisung added, and Seungmin turned, seeing the other boy smile softly at him over his shoulder. "Because I really wanna call you my boyfriend too," he added with a wink that made Seungmin hold back a laugh as he rolled his eyes and Minho giggled.
"Alright," Seungmin found himself saying, a persistent smile on his lips growing when Minho pressed a kiss on the side of his mouth, so close to his lips that if he had turned slightly it would've lied fully on them.
Jisung yawned and Seungmin's belly groaned again, making Minho grunt and pull away from the hug first, "Okay, that's enough. I'm reheating the food and we're going to sleep after." Seungmin felt the lost and wanted to do grabby hands but Jisung took the chance to cling onto him with arms and legs, happily nuzzling into his neck and all attempts to get up died before it even started.
He was finally right were he was supposed to.
It was snowing.
"Oh." Minho raised a hand and a lazy snowflake landed on his palm, "Seungmin-ssi, it's snowing." He turned to look at his boyfriend above the car's roof as Seungmin closed the car's door on his side and buried his nose further in his scarf, huffing.
"I guess it is," he mumbled, pretending he wasn't staring at the red on Minho's ears and nose expanding to his cheeks when the older narrowed his eyes to look up at the clouds covering Seoul's night sky. Seungmin grumbled something about the cold and rounded the car to take off his earmuffs and put them on Minho, "It's cold, let's wait inside, Ji–"
"I'M HERE, I'M HERE!" Two arms circled Seungmin's middle as a body bumped into him from behind and his second boyfriend panted, as if he had ran all the way from the bus stop here. "I'm here!"
"Why are you running?" Minho asked as Seungmin whined, mumbling some complaint.
"It started snowing! I wanted to see the first snow with both of you." Jisung pouted to Minho over Seungmin's shoulder, not letting go of the boy until Seungmin fumbled out of his hands by himself, "Did you bring the gifts? I bought some extra beer in case Felix and Chan are short of it," he said, holding up the plastic bag he was carrying, and Minho hummed, showing gift bag he was holding before leaning to kiss Jisung and whispered something to his ear.
Seungmin didn't get to hear what the hyung had said, but his face flushed the moment Jisung turned to look at him with bright wide eyes, "The purple one I got you?"
"Yes," Seungmin mumbled, switching his weight from one leg to the other and feeling warm all over when Jisung smiled and reached for his hand with an excited giggle. "Let's go inside. It's cold." He rolled his eyes, pretending he was not feeling as excited as Jisung looked.
"Hm, yes. The others are already there." Minho agreed, looking at his phone a second before pocketing it and walking first.
Felix lived on the sixth floor so they took the elevator on their way up, Jisung holding Seungmin's hand but melting into Minho's side –with a brief awkward moment of pulling out and standing with some proper distance when an old lady joined them until the fourth floor. Seungmin pressed the bell and soon after the door was opened by Chan, who was holding a wine cup and laughing, "Ah! Babe, they're here!" He exclaimed over his shoulder, giving Seungmin a quick but tight hug before letting him inside.
Felix's head popped from the kitchen, he was wearing a pink apron Seungmin knew had a matching one for Chan, and he smiled to his friends arriving, "Finally. Brownies are almost done!"
Changbin and Jeongin were sitting in the living room, Hyunjin fussing over the younger who was texting on his phone instead of paying attention to the hyung and pinching his cheek as he talked about how romantic it was they had seen the first snow together. Jisung went to the kitchen to place the beers in the fridge, Chan following after a wine offering Minho accepted and that made Changbin stand up to refill his and, most importantly, Hyunjin's cups. Seungmin made his way to the couch, plopping down next to Jeongin.
The movement made him flinch and he bit his lip. Minho squeezed in the little space next to him, a hand going to Seungmin's thigh with a soft caress and a knowing glare. Jeongin looked up from his phone, "Hi, hyung. All good?" He said, as if he hadn't seen Seungmin just yesterday at the Café, which was probably equal to not seeing him considering Seungmin had been there for an hour and Jeongin had only directed words to him twice, the rest of the time the ginger had been giggling to his phone.
He nodded and greeted Hyunjin on the other side, who was still pouty around Jeongin –and maybe a bit tipsy already. Changbin came back with more wine and Jisung also reappeared, bringing a cup from Minho and settling down on his lap right away talking with Hyunjin about work gossip updates. Chan brought some snacks and Seungmin got up to help, Jeongin following if just to escape the hyung's grip for a moment. The evening smelled like brownies, cinnamon cookies, and wine. Felix made him help a bit in the kitchen and after they moved all to the small table they settled a show on TV that nobody was watching, just for background noise. Jeongin tried to suggest some music, but Jisung had already decided with Hyunjin they were watching a dating reality –even if none of them were paying attention and Chan kept asking what happened.
Changbin claimed Seungmin was cheating on the cards game and he played innocent –but had been switching cards with his teammate Felix all game– and they laughed at Jisung's attempts to communicate words with gestures to Jeongin –who kept guessing wrong, but it was not entirely his fault. When wine made Minho's ears red enough for him to cuddle up to Seungmin's side without caring about Chan's fond gaze and Jeongin's eye rolls or Felix's sneaking pictures twice, they exchanged the gifts. Jisung got underwear with printed ducks in Christmas' hats, someone gave Changbin protein powder with a custom 'Hyunjin's sweat' tag that made Jeongin laugh, and Minho tried his kitty paws mittens. Felix jumped over Chan when opening and –correctly– guessing the mini figurine was from him, the oldest guy had to open his gift while his boyfriend sat on his lap happily, and sent a tired look to the room of laughs when he got a pack of calming tea and a sleeping mask. Hyunjin received a perfume, Jeongin a customized t-shirt that read 'hyung loves me' and Seungmin a special edition of a book he loved.
At some point after the gifts Felix had dragged him back to the kitchen, supposedly to help with some stuff, but clearly to find more privacy to speak with Seungmin alone, "Jisung is posting less now that he has another boyfriend." he said, reaching for some water.
Seungmin frowned a bit, confused about what he meant, when he remembered it had been Felix on the first place who discovered Jisung's account. "Oh, yes, I know."
"So you still watch his videos."
He felt himself blush but huffed, keeping a straight face while mumbling a quick, "He likes when I do," before realizing he had never told Felix he was watching Jisung's videos in the first time. He glared quickly at his friend and the blond smiled, "You–"
"No, I'm not watching your boyfriend's porn, don't worry, but I hoped you did." He shrugged, still smiling and sipping from his glass.
He shouldn't even be surprised, Felix had always been a little demon enabling chaos on his life for fun. But this time, Seungmin couldn't even be upset. Not when he glared to the living room and felt his heart flutter at the sight of Jisung sitting on Minho's lap and snuggling onto him while whining about something. The Aussie chimed in to follow his glare and smiled pleased at finding Seungmin whipped over his two boyfriends, "I'm glad you guys finally figured it out," he mumbled.
Seungmin hummed and then frowned slightly, "What do you mean finally?"
"The three of you have been dancing around since college!" He pouted, "It got embarrassing to see Han Jisung go behind your ass and Minho-hyung yearning. You're really oblivious, Minnie." Seungmin wanted to protest but Felix smacked him on the ass, making Seungmin jump with a sound embarrassingly close to a moan that got the blond smirking knowingly, "Glad everyone got what their happy ending."
Seungmin's cheeks were red and Felix giggled, sipping his water, "Now, Jeongin, do you know who's he talking to? He's been all night on his phone. Do you think he likes boys or girls? Both? I have some people I could–"
"Probably both? I don't know." He shrugged and Felix glared at him as if Seungmin not being nosy was a personal offense, "What? He's probably talking to that Beomgyu guy, he said is from college and that they're just friends."
Felix shook his head, but before he could say something Jeongin was standing up and saying it was getting late. He wasn't wrong, the clock hit 23:49pm, and Seungmin was already feeling a bit drowsy. Minho looked at him and decided it was time for them to go too. Hyunjin complained a bit about it still being early to end a party and tho Felix supported him and clung to the taller man, Changbin ended up convincing his boyfriend to leave –thanking but refusing Chan's invitation to stay over.
The goodbyes where a bit messy at the entrance, Jisung used a "Oops, I forgot we're leaving together," as an excuse to kiss Seungmin. Felix gave him a wink before they made it to the elevator. Downstairs, Changbin and Hyunjin walked to the opposite side of the parking lot, Hyunjin waved and promised to see them at the office's new year's party in a couple days. Minho offered Jeongin a ride, but the boy said he was fine and he had an appointment nearby anyway. Seungmin narrowed his eyes towards his only dongsaeng but Jeongin just waved his hand and walked away as if not even the snow could stop him from reaching his appointment.
It was still snowing softly, the sidewalk covered in white, and Seungmin snuggled into his scarf, chilling. Jisung's arms circled his back as his boyfriend placed his chin on Seungmin's shoulder, "Seungminnie, are you cold?" He muttered, squeezing him on the hug a bit.
Seungmin hummed softly, "A bit. And tired."
Minho moved closer, fingers brushing Seungmin's bangs out of the way before he leaned to kiss the boy's temple, "Tired? But we still need to give you your reward for behaving all night." He whispered, meeting Seungmin's eyes mischievously. Jisung hummed in agreement, whining a bit impatiently.
"Yes, hyung is right," he said, kissing behind Seungmin's ear, "You behaved so well, baby."
Seungmin felt himself shiver, overly aware of the plug that had been sitting inside him since Minho placed it before leaving home. It had been a promise, it had been a little game, it had made Seungmin hyper aware of his own reactions all nights. Jisung giggled and Minho took his hand, "You drive, pup, I still need to sober up a bit," the hyung said and Seungmin nodded compliantly.
The door was still not properly closed when a pair of lips met Seungmin's. An embarrassing needy sound left his throat as he melted into Minho's kiss, hands reaching to grab onto his hyung. He felt thirsty every time Minho's mouth pressed against his, coaxing the younger to relax his jaw and let him in. Seungmin had been thirsty for so long he didn't even know how to exist without the yearning. He gripped Minho's coat and he felt the hyung smile against his lips, dripping color onto Seungmin's cheeks. The first time he kissed Seungmin was the morning after they confessed, he had woken up to Jisung drooling on his pillow and dragging his feet sleepily found Minho in the kitchen.
The hyung was dressed in shorts and a crumpled shirt, looking half asleep when Seungmin mumbled a 'good morning' and passed by him to reach the coffee machine. He settled the coffee and then felt a shy tug on his shirt. "Kim Seungmin," Minho called and he turned slightly, eyes opening wide when Minho leaned enough to meet his lips. He hadn't brushed his teeth yet, and still Minho didn't look disgusted when he pulled away and huffed to Seungmin's surprised face, "Morning."
They had kissed plenty since then, Seungmin liked it the most when he saw Minho blush to the tiny pecks he left on his cheek before leaving for work. At first he wasn't sure what was allowed or what was expected, but Minho had been casual with the physical affection and not overly handsy like Jisung. The door clicked closed behind him and something like the bag with their gifts fell to the floor before Jisung's hands found the way to Seungmin's waist at the same time his lips latched on the back of the younger's neck.
There was no hesitation in Jisung's hands, always hungry to find purchase of Seungmin in any way they could: holding his hand out of the office, grabbing his arm or barely touching his thigh at lunch, as well as exploring Seungmin over the clothes on the 'important' bathroom breaks he took to kiss Seungmin silly and make him unable to focus on work for the rest of the afternoon. Those where the hands that shakily unbuttoned Seungmin's shirt the first time they stumbled to Minho's bed in a mess of too many limbs.
Minho drifted away from the kiss and Seungmin's body chased forward –as much as Jisung attached to his back allowed– as the hyung blindly reached for the light switch.
"Room," Minho mumbled between shorter kisses, hands going down Seungmin's jaw all the way to undo his scarf and throw it aside. He wasn't cold anymore. Jisung's fingers found his belt and he whined, making Minho giggle into his mouth as he prompted the boy to walk. He felt floaty and a bit warm, and he followed the hyung, almost tripping as he tried to kick his own shoes off and Jisung's hands kept working to undress him from behind, eagerly trying to meet Seungmin's skin.
Jisung's skin was warm, it was always warm, soft and sweet like honey under Seungmin's fingertips and lips. Seungmin's paler skin had trembled the first time Jisung actually slid his hands up his stomach and kissed lower from his collarbone. Seungmin didn't know what to do then and it felt similar to the blind walk towards the bedroom they were taking now, hands pulling him and lips coaxing him while Seungmin's eyes were closed almost all the time. It was okay, it was okay not to be in control, it was okay if Minho giggled when they almost hit the wall, it was okay if Jisung called him cute and Seungmin's whole body felt hot and he didn't know what to say back. It was okay because his hyung found the way and Jisung was holding him close.
Minho broke the kiss only when they reached the bed, hands holding Seungmin from chasing as the hyung sat down first. "Someone is needy," Minho teased when the younger complained. He loved to tease and Seungmin had discovered his hyung could fold under his palm and melt if Seungmin teased him the same way in bed, but right now his mind was not in the right place to take charge. He was tired of being in charge, he wanted to be taken care of.
"Hyung," He whined softly, stomping on his feet a bit, "I've been…"
"Puppy has been good, hyung." Jisung hummed from behind the boy's back, hugging him by the waist and latching to his neck again, extending wet kissing in all the skin he could reach. His words were timid, as they still were testing the limits out, always careful as they learned the ways of Seungmin's body and the wires of his brain. Seungmin was also learning that it didn't feel the same when there were other fingers, that Jisung's whines were cuter if they brought Seungmin's name on them, that he could melt when a chest pressed to his back and a praise was handed to his ears.
He moaned softly, tilted his head and pouted to Minho. The hyung reached for Seungmin's hips, bringing him closer until the boy was standing between his knees and Minho's hands quickly tugged the shirt off the pants Jisung had just managed to unbutton. He had also learned than it felt equally warm when Minho lied down and looked up shyly at him, allowing Seungmin hesitantly take the lead, than when that morning the hyung pressed him on the bathroom wall and pressed the plug in his ass while keeping a hard grip on his waist.
"Come here, let hyung help you," Minho pulled Seungmin's pants and boxers down and the boy easily stepped out of them, cheeks coloring as the air hit his half hard dick. Jisung glared at it from over the younger's shoulder, hand slipping down to creep under Seungmin's shirt and, leaving soft caresses on his belly and up, to find his chest. He moaned and Minho's smaller fingers closed around his length as Jisung's free hand pushed his face to the side so their lips met in an awkward angle.
Seungmin closed his eyes, melting on Jisung's mouth with a small moan as Minho hot breath hit his tip and made him shiver with expectation. Wet lips traced his length and Minho's tiny licks made him buck his hips hoping for more, but the hyung held him still and glared up in warning. Jisung's hand on his chest twisted and pinched the closest nipple, breaking the kiss only when Minho finally put his mouth around Seungmin and the boy panted for air, heat pulling on his belly quickly as Jisung's hand on his jaw moved and found its way to his ass. There was nothing special in the way Minho's mouth was wet and soft around his tip, nor in Jisung's fingers pulling and griping his ass cheek to take a better look at the toy in him. There was nothing special except for the fact it was Minho who was tasting him and Jisung who was eager to touch him.
Seungmin had never felt so much in his body as he did when he was against their skins and under their eyes and hands, as if only they were capable to define his shape and trace the limits.
"Cute." Jisung mumbled, reaching to touch the plug with two fingers, the teasing pressure making Seungmin moan and tremble with a motion that pushed his tip further on Minho's tongue. The hyung's breathe hitched as he looked up in surprise and pulled out in a quick second.
"Sung-ah, lube." Minho said, voice wet, making their boyfriend whine and pout but pull away from Seungmin to go look in the drawer.
Seungmin took a deep breathe, legs fumbling slightly as soon as Jisung's arm was no longer circling him and holding him together. But Minho was ready to pick him up before he fell, pulling Seungmin until he was kneeling on the bed and taller above his hyung, who was looking up with bright eyes and parted lips. He leaned in without being asked to, meeting his hyung's lips again and letting himself fall in bed above the older, who let out a soft pleased moan when Seungmin's hand tugged at his shirt. Minho lifted his torso enough for Seungmin to take the fabric off with shy hands and look down, from the blush that started on Minho's ears but grew from his neck down to his chest.
He reached with trembling fingers and opened his hand on Minho's pec, feeling the hyung's breath hitch at the lightest touch from Seungmin's fingertips on his nipple. He was pulled in for another kiss, his eyes closing as his hand tried luck again on Minho's nipple, dragging out a small moan that made his dick twitch in interest. Minho's hand was soon where he wanted it, small fingers caressing his length until Jisung came back, circled Seungmin's waist from behind and pulled him back while passing the lube bottle to Minho.
"Thanks, baby," Minho panted and Seungmin let himself be pulled back a couple steps just because Jisung's hand took the place Minho's left as the hyung sat up and fumbled with his pants. Jisung's fingers were pretty around him and Seungmin titled his head back slightly, a hand reaching for Jisung's face to pull him into a kiss. He could feel the hyung staring as Jisung kissed him with growing need, hand sloppily stroking Seungmin but not giving him a chance of drifting near the edge.
His shirt was still on –only the upper coat had been discarded by the entrance– but he felt Jisung's trousers still on against his naked as, so he reached with his hands, turning to take them off. The other boy moaned into his lips and helped Seungmin quickly, breaking the kiss only to pull off his shirt and guiding Seungmin back towards the bed as his hands gripped the younger's ass and he mumbled hot nonsense onto his cheek. He fell backwards onto the mattress, next to where Minho had reposition himself for better reach of his hand and was stretching himself. Seungmin stared at Minho's scrunched face, mouth slightly open, and Jisung stopped kissing him to follow his glare towards the hyung.
He couldn't stop looking at the way Minho worked himself open, body trembling slightly as he lied forward, one elbow on the bed as his other hand reached backward. It reminded him a bit of the way Jisung had looked on their first night, letting Minho stretch him as he mouthed to Seungmin's dick between moans. Seungmin's fingers twitched and Jisung intertwined their hands, leaning to his ear, "Do you want something, pup?"
"I wanna help," he muttered and Minho's hand stopped as he lifted his head to look at him.
"Help?" Jisung teased, lips tracing Seungmin's cheekbone towards his ear, "Wanna finger Minho-hyung?"
Seungmin shivered and nodded. He knew the angle was awkward, the twist painful for the wrist after a while. He also knew Minho's fingers were shorter and that the hyung looked pretty while gasping little moans under another body. Jisung pulled away and moved towards Minho, holding his jaw and pulling him up for a kiss that was first sweet and then heated. The hyung let him do it, taking his fingers away and bringing both hands to hold Jisung's tiny waist. Honey skin against pale flushed one, the ink on Jisung's side, the mess of small moans and quiet words as Jisung reached for a pillow and Minho let himself be lied on his back, latching one leg on Jisung's, smacking his hand on the boy's ass and laughing at Jisung's whine.
Heat pooled in his stomach and he couldn't move, just lying there and looking. Because he was allowed to look. He was allowed to just breathe and feel his chest full as Minho's eyes crinkled with laugh and Jisung pouted with a red face. He was allowed to smile and giggle. The sound made both of them turn in his direction and Seungmin blushed but shyly crawled closer. Because he was also allowed to touch.
"Are you sure you don't wanna take hyung's spot?" He found himself teasing and Jisung flushed fully, all the performance he had been putting on crumbling when Minho groped his ass and bit his shoulder. He moaned in a surprising high pitch tone, but he was soon frowning and pouting.
"I c-can also top!" He whined, Minho giggled and Seungmin huffed.
"Sure you can."
"I've topped Minho before! Hyung, don't laugh!"
"I'm not laughing," Minho chuckled.
Jisung pouted and Seungmin felt the need to kiss him, but his hyung was closer and made it first. "You both are so mean I don't know why I like any of you."
Minho kissed his cheek and Seungmin just shrugged, but Jisung softened quickly and pulled Seungmin to knee on the bed, in the small space between Minho and him. Soon the arm was again around his waist and Jisung's chin was perched on his shoulder. The hyung supported himself up on his elbows, the pillow Jisung had grabbed keeping his hips up in a way that when Minho opened his legs further Seungmin had full access. He was passed the lube and Minho hummed in approval as Seungmin put a generous amount on his shaky fingers.
"Okay." He leaned forward, letting the lube fall aside and grabbing Minho's thigh with one hand while the other slide to the already glistening entrance. The hyung's breath hitched and he let out a tiny moan when Seungmin touched around and pushed his finger in slowly. He wasn't sure where to put his eyes, he couldn't decide between Minho's red dick against his shaky abdomen, the blush on his chest and face, the way he closed his eyes or his own finger easily sliding all the way in.
Jisung hummed onto Seungmin's shoulder and he only noticed the boy had been too quiet when he felt fingers prodding at his ass and the drag of the plug being taken out. His knees fumbled but Jisung kept him straight and shushed him as he pressed two fingers in at the same time into Seungmin's already stretched hole, "Shh, baby, focus on hyung."
Seungmin bit his lip a bit and tried to focus on stretching Minho's out and the image of his hyung bitting down some breathy sounds when he managed to get two fingers in. It was a bit of a stretch and Minho turned his face sideway, a small moan escaping his lips. He tried to focus, a groan of his own slipping from his lips as Jisung slide three fingers in and out while mumbling to himself, "God, you're so stretched." A kiss on his shoulder and more praises as Jisung got his chin back onto Seungmin's shoulder and took a look at his doing, "So pretty, Seungmin-ah, you're doing great."
Seungmin kept moving his fingers, frowning as he took Minho's expression as a sign and looked around for the bundle of nerves. He found it all too fast when he felt Jisung's dick sliding in him without previous notice and he stumbled forward, long fingers finding their way with a blunt touch that made Minho whine loud and arch before glaring at Jisung with a warning, "Han Jisung!"
Jisung pouted, whining as he bottomed out on Seungmin, burring his face in the younger's neck and rocking his hips softly in a way that got the other boy to grip Minho's thigh just to not drown in the feeling. Jisung was smaller than Minho, but it didn't made difference to Seungmin right now as he had been all evening ready and aroused. Minho had blew him in the shower before putting the plug on, to help him keep it together longer, and still Seungmin had been all night overly conscious of his skin and the feeling inside him.
"Sorry, hyung," Jisung was babbling to Minho, "He's so fucking tight and pretty and oh my god it feels so good, I think I can cum from just being inside him. Fuck, Seungminnie, we should keep a plug on you more so I could just–"
Seungmin moaned, and Minho whimpered when the younger's fingers kept pressing on his spot.
"Han Jisung." Minho's voice was shaky before turning slightly darker, "Stop moving now." It was an order and Jisung whined in complaint but his hips stopped automatically as he turned to meet his hyung's eyes. Seungmin was a bit too lost trying to breathe and stay still. "You cannot move until Seungmin is in me."
"But hyung…"
"Don't you dare move. Didn't you say you can top properly?"
Seungmin took a deep breathe and felt Jisung nuzzling onto his neck, "Yes, yes…"
"Then don't you dare move until Seungminnie is inside me. Or I'm making you take a vibrator for whole day at the office."
The idea sounded more like a treat than a threat to Seungmin, but only because it was directed to Jisung and not to him. He shook his head slightly, feeling his cheeks warms of embarrassment just imaging it.
"Yes, hyung," the camboy mumbled.
Seungmin didn't need to turn and check to know Jisung was pouting, but the boy didn't move, just sitting heavy inside Seungmin and making him feel full. Minho sighed soundly and reached with one hand to Seungmin's on his thigh, softly caressing his fingers and Seungmin took the hint to move his other hand again, more carefully and intentionally this time. Minho relaxed again, hand holding Seungmin's as he focused on breathing and letting the boy stretch him out. It wasn't easy to focus while Jisung sat inside him and Minho mumbled praises, repeatedly calling him a good boy and letting Seungmin know he was doing good.
His knees where trembling a bit just from holding up and he felt like he was going to explode, by the time Minho was comfortable in three fingers and taking a look at Seungmin's dick let him know it was okay to go now. He took a deep breathe and Jisung whined softly as his dick slipped out of Seungmin when the boy moved forward. He felt empty and missed the warmth but the hyung pulled him closer by the hand he was grabbing onto. Minho reached for the discarded lube on the side and Seungmin couldn't help the small cry leaving him the moment he touched his own dick to spread it. Hold it. Keep it together, Seungmin.
"Jisung," Minho mumbled and their boyfriend held an arm around Seungmin's waist and held Seungmin's hand, guiding, helping him line up. "Ah," the hyung let out a cute short sound as the younger's tip slid in and Seungmin wanted the room to be filled with it. He felt Jisung's other hand on his hip and the weight of his body pushing Seungmin slightly.
"Come on, baby, there. Look how much hyung wants it."
Seungmin moaned and his eyes closed as Jisung pushed him to go all the way in, Minho's short breathy moans and the fingers gripping his making him feel tingly and hot. His legs were shaking and he wasn't sure he could actually move his hips once he was fully in. For a second he was just there, breathing heavily and not sure what to do with the feelings prickling his skin, and then he felt Jisung's dick sliding past his cheeks and easily pushing in, the pressure making him move forward and drag a moan out of his hyung.
Full. Full. Full.
"Oh, fuck." He wasn't even sure who was cursing or who's moans were which when Jisung pulled his hips back and then slammed forward. It was overwhelming and all he managed to do was cling to Minho's hand, bend down when Minho pulled him closer to kiss, and barely support himself on his free hand as Jisung picked up a steadier rhythm and held his hips. It was almost too much, trapped, full, warm, every thrust pushing him into Minho, Minho who was letting airy moans into his mouth and holding his hand, Minho who was stroking himself because Seungmin was way too gone to do it for him, and Jisung. Oh, Jisung. Jisung who was whimpering and whining loudly as he gripped Seungmin's hips so hard the boy was trembling, Jisung who's body was just a continuation of Seungmin, Jisung who was shorter than Seungmin but made him feel small, so small he barely existed between the other two bodies.
And Seungmin, Seungmin who felt so much that it flooded his chest, Seungmin who's face got wet and Minho let go of his hand to clean the tears, calling him pretty as Seungmin chanted how much he loved him, how much he loved Jisung. He came first, trembling and whimpering as Jisung picked up speed and fucked him through his orgasm until it was almost too much and he was sure he would pass out when he didn't even knew he could feel that much in his body and out of it at the same time. Jisung spilled inside him with an incoherent whimper and Minho followed right after with a couple more twists of his own wrist. There were hands on his sides, Jisung pulled out and fell to the side, but Minho held him closer and Seungmin took shaky breathes into his neck.
"I love you," he muttered and felt Minho hand caressing his back under the shirt he never got to take off and was now dirty with Minho cum as he softened inside his hyung.
"Hm. Love you too, pup. Come on, let's clean up." Minho caressed his hair and after some whines he managed to get the three of them in the bathroom.
Seungmin was barely on his feet, Jisung held him up half the time and Minho had to put the toothbrush in his hand. He brushed his teeth carelessly, eyes heavy as Jisung kissed his shoulder while helping him put the white sleep shorts on him and Minho dried his own hair. They ended up on Seungmin's bed, because he moved to it on auto-pilot and Jisung just followed and cuddled his back. Minho's bed would probably be better, bigger, but they managed on the small space, the hyung hugging Jisung and Seungmin almost drifted asleep while his belly was pet. Like a passing thought he remembered he hadn't filled in today's entry on his journal, but the mere idea of getting up was tiring.
"Oh, right, I forgot to tell you," Jisung said, entirely too loud and awake for Seungmin's liking.
He groaned, Minho hummed, also sleepy, "What thing, baby?"
"I got the tentacle dildo," he made a motion to get up, but Minho didn't let him move, "I found a purple one that's not crazily big and Seungmin with some longer prep could probably–"
"You're not getting anything octopus-like into me."
"Okay, fine, but what about the ones that look like e–"
"No."
"I didn't finish."
"If it's monster fucking related, it's not happening."
"Hyung, Seungmin-ah is kink-shaming me again."
Minho let out a tired laugh, "Just sleep, Jisung."
The boy mumbled something in protest about Seungmin being impossible, but nuzzled into his neck with a defeated sigh, "Okay, but this is not the end of this talk."
"Yes it is." He mumbled and when Jisung jumped with a protest and almost sat up, breaking their cuddle pile, Minho held him back down by the waist and Seungmin laughed softly.