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Nothing is different about the Tohsaka mansion on this night. A cold and noble air of refinement still permeates the house. Rich curtains still drape over the windows, and the fine Western furniture still stands the way it has since the beginning of the war, when Archer meticulously repaired it after ruining everything.
That's the problem. After everything that's happened tonight, it feels like it should be ruins that remain. Rin should not have to return from fighting her sister, from almost killing her sister, from giving up her ally, to a house so perfect. Archer knows what it means to her. He's figured things like that out by now. The empty, chilly elegance of the house will remind her that she has to be just as elegant and cold for all her life, even if it empties her out inside just as much as the lonely mansion she lives in.
"I should never have cleaned up the mess I made because of you on the first night, Rin," he murmurs from behind her. He didn't mean to say that out loud, but now that he has, he finds he doesn't regret it. Which is strange, because for as long as he can remember now, he's regretted everything, absolutely everything, every unnecessary breath he's taken and every faltering step he's made.
But when he thinks about regretting things now, he sees Shirou's face as the boy clung to Rin's wrist to stop her from killing her sister, and he wonders if it would be all right for him to hold onto Rin like that. He wonders if he can fail to regret things, if he does them for Rin. Saying those words isn't so bad. It'll snap Rin out of the bleak haze she's in right now, as she sits at the long empty table in a straight-backed chair, and she'll argue with him, and things will be better.
For a little while, until--no, he can't think of that.
"Did you say something, Archer?" That's strange. She doesn't snap at him. She doesn't argue. She doesn't puff up and glare while tossing her hair. She just looks down at her hands with tired eyes that will soon be as empty as the house she lives in. They'll be empty, and she'll think that it's fine, so long as she doesn't crumble and make a mess of herself.
No, Archer realizes. He can't tell her what he's hiding now. He can't tell her what Rider's mystic eyes did to him when he took the brunt of their power back in the school hallway. He'll just have to go all out to protect her even with the bond between them half-petrified and easily cracked. "I didn't say anything of import. Don't concern yourself with trivialities."
Still she doesn't rise to the bait. She continues to stare down at her hands on the table before her. Finally, she says in a small voice that's trying hard to be the right size instead, "Hey, Archer. This is strange. I don't usually have to tell you, but make me tea."
He can't do that. The problem's simple enough: he has to materialize out of spirit form to do a mundane thing like that, and then he'll start draining prana from her. Normally it would be an insignificant amount, barely a trickle, but the bond between them is tenuous now and crazed with flaws. Every time he materializes and prana starts to flow along the connection, he can feel the strain on it. There's a reason he let her confront Shirou and Sakura alone in the Emiya household; what would she have done if then, as she struggled to pursue her duties at such personal cost, her own Servant had fallen away from her?
Archer will have to guard her from afar now. So he simply says, "I think you need rest more than tea, Rin."
"You're not leaving spirit form," she says, though, and he curses himself for thinking he could get away with this without her noticing. She's far too bright and clever for that. He curses himself and says nothing. What can he say to explain this to her? But that just means she keeps talking, and it gets worse. "Archer...this is because of what you learned today, isn't it?"
He doesn't understand. "Rin?"
"It's because you saw me fail to fulfill my duty as the supervisor of this place...I failed to kill a threat to the safety of everyone. Or, um..." She turns her hands over and keeps staring down at the fingers. "It's because I tried to fulfill my duty at all. A true knight probably doesn't want to serve a sororicide. That's a word that means 'one who kills her own sister,' Archer."
"You aren't," is all he can think to say.
"Yet," she says quietly. "But only because I selfishly passed the duty onto Emiya-kun, because at the last moment I got cold feet from hope. Did you know you can get cold feet from hope? Well, you probably can't, but Rin Tohsaka can, the girl who always screws things up when they're most important."
She's wrong, in a way. He definitely just got cold feet about his plan to keep the state of their connection from her. Not from hope--he doesn't have anything like that--but from some kind of longing. He just wants her to stop saying things like that about herself. He wants her to once more talk instead about how she already rules the world. She won't, though. He knows now that that was a lie, to herself more than to him; Rin doesn't rule any world but the lonely cold air inside this house, and that's not the world she wants.
He wants to give her a better world than that.
He wants her to have the boy who became her ally back so she can enjoy herself being his teacher, which is absurd because Archer was so desperate to kill that boy, and where is he now if he doesn't?
He wants her to have the girl who should have been her sister back so she can finally have a family to watch over, which is strange because so very long ago that girl was part of Archer's family, and how can he have anything to say about her outcome now when he let her slip away then?
He wants her to rule a world that makes her smile.
So Archer gets cold feet about his plan to stay in spirit form and be nothing but a shadow at Rin's heels for the rest of the Holy Grail War, and he materializes at her side. "Let's not discuss this further, since we established days ago that you don't make mistakes."
"What?" She blinks up at him, finally turning her gaze away from her own fingers. He's grateful that she's finally looking at him, even if he doesn't want her to see what he's hiding. "When did we ever establish that?"
"When you thought you made a mistake with the summoning," he explains, "but you got me, so it couldn't possibly have been one. We are too suited for each other."
"Oh," she says. Her eyes widen a little. "You're right, of course. So you'd better go make me my tea now and--" She cuts off, and he knows with a faint sick feeling that she's figured it out. "Archer?"
He wants to keep looking at her. He wants to keep seeing her brave face. But he looks away anyway.
"Archer, something's wrong. You're taking too much of my prana..."
He says nothing. What can he say? She'll figure it out in a moment anyway.
"The fight with Rider," she says quietly. "You're damaged."
He shakes his head, still not looking at her. "It's not me that's damaged, Master."
And suddenly there's a warmth he didn't expect, a warmth in this cold place. He feels his eyes opening wide. Her hand is on his cheek, she stood up and now she's reaching to turn his face so she can look hard into his eyes. There's terrible concern on her face, so much gentleness and care for this Servant of hers who's already failed to protect her enough. He wants to protest that she shouldn't touch someone like him so gently, but he can't say a word against her actions when she's looking at him with those serious eyes full of concern. "I see," she says at last. "I should never have let you fight Rider! Her mystic eyes don't just petrify flesh, but the bonds between Master and Servant as well. That's so inconvenient, Archer. That's so..."
She's holding her shoulders so straight and stiff that it's easy to see when they begin to shake. Instinctively, he reaches out to steady them, but as he does so they only shake more. Of course. That's the consequence of him touching someone like her. He only makes things worse.
"It's really inconvenient," she whispers. "It's the most inconvenient thing in the world that you're going to leave me now. When I need my perfect knight the most."
He tries to speak for her but his throat feels like something with spikes is caught in it. It's difficult. Why did things have to go so far off his plan? It's his own fault, of course. If he hadn't frozen up at the sight of Saber and taken that blow from her, he could have killed that boy without fuss, and then Rin could have had a true perfect knight when Saber went to her instead.
But then...
Then Archer would never have seen Shirou Emiya choose to protect Sakura Matou.
He's not sure why that matters so much. It's not even a thing that should be real. It should have been impossible for Shirou Emiya to throw away his ideals. No, it was impossible. The boy he saw hold onto Rin's wrist so she couldn't kill her sister was someone new. Not Shirou Emiya, but Sakura Matou's protector.
Archer feels his grip tighten on Rin's shoulders. She stares up at him with wide eyes that she refuses to let tears form in.
He has an absurd thought.
If Shirou Emiya can die and be reborn as Sakura Matou's protector, then perhaps the hero Emiya can be washed away by the tears Rin Tohsaka won't shed and come together again as her knight.
Archer sighs. "Rin, you're my Master, so it would be bad if I simply called you a fool, but sometimes it's really tempting."
She blinks. "What are you saying!"
"I'm saying that I don't intend to leave your side."
Her cheeks color.
He keeps going. "Whatever it takes, whatever you ask me to do, I will repair our connection and fight for you until the end." He's the fool here. It's a foolish thing to say. She's not the sort of person who'll order him to devour souls to make up for the imbalance in prana, and while she may have some other way to supplement her own energy, it won't last forever. There might be something he's forgetting, but it's probably impossible. Still, wasn't there a time when he aspired to do impossible things? It was a long time ago, but she reminds him of it somehow. "I exist for no other purpose in this world."
Rin stares up at him. He realizes that his hands are still on her shoulders, and they aren't shaking now. "You mean it, Archer? You'll--um, to fix the summoning! You'll do anything."
Some weird feeling twists in his gut. Yes, there's definitely something he's forgetting. Why is she suddenly so hopeful? He's made a promise to her, a promise he shouldn't have been capable of making, but it's still only a meaningless promise that he'll soon break when the bond finally fails from its damage. "Of course I mean it. Your knight wouldn't swear a meaningless vow."
It's strange, but the color is still in her cheeks. She holds her chin up high, even as she still looks like she's blushing. "Archer! Carry me to the bedroom. Like a knight would carry a princess."
He doesn't know what to do. He can't breathe, and that shouldn't be a problem since he doesn't need to, but for some reason it is. He feels impossibly heavy simply standing there.
She tilts her head up at him. "Oh, should I not have phrased it that way? I guess a knight wouldn't carry a princess to the bedroom. Or maybe he would, but I don't make a very good princess? Um, these are pressing questions, Archer--I need your opinion on them before we can continue." How strange, yet again. It's like she's babbling. Like she's nervous about something. "Ah, but it's all right if you simply carry me to the bedroom the way my Archer would carry his Rin, until we figure out who's the knight and who's the princess."
Archer gets it now. That's why he feels heavy: he's disobeying a direct command by not taking her to the bedroom. He's not sure why she needs the two of them to go there, but he crouches to scoop her into his arms and lift her. Bemusedly, he thinks that it's funny how warm she feels in his arms. He's held her before, hasn't he? He's held her as they leapt across buildings to survey this city. Now he only has to leap lightly through the hallways of this house, but somehow it feels like a greater distance. "That's right, Rin. You aren't suited to be a princess."
She flushes hotter. "Archer!"
"Princesses don't do much, you know. It's queens who hold all the power. So someday, you'll be more suited to be a queen." And then he's inside her bedroom. He hasn't been here that often before--she usually shoos him out. "Rin, why are we in here?"
"Because," she says as he sets her carefully down, "you promised me you would repair our connection, Archer." She's still blushing even now. Why is that? "You won't go back on your word, will you?"
"Of course not, but Rin..."
She looks at him without fear, even if her cheeks are still red. "So let's bypass the messed-up bond and connect my magic circuits with your spiritual core anew."
He stares at her.
Hesitantly, Rin reaches for the bow tied neatly at the throat of her school uniform.
Archer's certain that the floor goes out from under his feet, but it's strange, neither he nor Rin falls. She just stands there with her hand tensed nervously at the collar of her shirt.
"Hey, Archer..." Her voice is soft. "I know it's short notice, but you'll make love to me for that purpose, right?"
Oh. He forgot about that option.
"Archer?"
He won't let himself think. Instead, he drops to one knee like he's expecting her to anoint him. He reaches up and takes hold of her hand as it clutches at the bow. Archer strokes her fingers, marveling both at how slender they are and how impossible it is that he's touching her this way. That's not the same as thinking. He's just observing how beautiful she is, that's all. She's really beautiful like this, with a blush on her face and determination in her eyes. He slowly unties the ribbon and lets it fall to the floor, watching the collar of her shirt loosen as he does so.
"Oh," she says softly. "We're really going to do this, huh?"
Archer nods. "I made you a promise. Naturally I'll fulfill it."
The blush has faded now. She's serious. "Will you be gentle, Archer? Will you hold me very close and kiss me when you do it? That has nothing to do with the promise you made, but I'd like it, you know."
He finds himself lifting his hand to touch her cheek as he stares up at her, uncomprehending. Why? Why would she ask him to do things like that? She's beautiful and she's his Master and she's Rin so of course he'll do them without any trouble, but he can't imagine why she'd want them from him.
"I won't order you," she says, "but think about it, Archer. You don't have to if you want, but--"
Stupid. It's stupid of her to say a thing like that, like you don't have to be gentle with me and kiss me. So he leans up and presses his mouth against hers.
Before, only the floor went out from under his feet, or he thought it did. Now the world vanishes around him. He's kissing his Master, he's kissing Rin Tohsaka, isn't this impossible? But her lips are very soft and the tiny noise of surprise and gratitude she makes somewhere near the back of her throat is very wonderful, and that's all the world he needs.
When he finally pulls away from her, he feels only one simple regret: that he didn't do better. He's certain his kiss wasn't perfect, even though she's staring down at his face with wide eyes alight with both surprise and satisfaction. Still, it's strange to feel such a small regret. He's used to larger ones. "Don't speak nonsense," he says. "Of course I have to be gentle. Of course I have to hold you very close. Of course I have to kiss you--" Before he can stop himself he leans in and kisses her again. This time the world doesn't go away; it only gets brighter around them, or so it seems. "I am your Archer. Nothing else is acceptable."
He hears her gasp. Her breath's a little shaky. Her eyes are still wide. "Of course...I was being silly to ask." She blinks hard, as if she might cry. "I was being silly to doubt." Suddenly her hands are on the back of his head, digging into his hair, pushing him close to her. He yields; he lets her pull him close until he's burying his face in her neck. He feels her pulse against his chin, and he turns slightly so that he feels it against his lips instead. That feels right. That feels good. How long has it been since anything felt right and good?
"My sister may have her ally," Rin murmurs as he starts to kiss her throat, "but I'm not alone either. You're mine, and I can hold you like this--ah!"
Archer stops. He stops nibbling at her throat where her pulse is. It seemed like a natural thing to do, with her this close and him already kissing her there, but now he realizes it might have come across as strange. "Sorry, Rin..."
"Archer, I hate to ask this, but..." Rin releases her hands from his hair. She holds up one as if lecturing, while the other goes somewhere else. "Are you a vampire?"
"What?"
"I read the important books, you know. Vampires like to seduce pure young maidens and bite their necks, so you're a vampire, right?" There's a rustling noise. He's too confused to think much about it, though. "It's all right if you're a vampire. You can still be my knight, I'll just be more careful not to let you cook with garlic."
"No! You've got it wrong, Rin!"
"Then...you're a cannibal?" She clicks her tongue in dismay. "That's much worse. Archer, you aren't allowed to eat people around me. At least not like that."
He stares up at her in bewilderment.
"But..." She lowers her gaze a little. Some of the color returns to her cheeks, and she steps back, away from him, closer to the bed. "You can keep biting my neck, though. Even when I'm not pure anymore. I don't mind it."
"I'm not a vampire or a cannibal," he starts to say as he gets to his feet to follow her. "I just thought you might like--" He stops. He stops because he looks at her and realizes that her skirt is gone. No, it's just on the floor. She's standing there in her slightly open blouse, her vest, her stockings, and her lacy black underpants.
"Is something wrong, Archer?" She looks at him with an astonished face. "You're not surprised that my panties are lace, are you? I'm disappointed in you if you are."
Actually, he's surprised that his head hasn't combusted from seeing her panties. That's the thing. Once upon a time, far before the beginning of the world he knows, Archer thought that Rin Tohsaka was the most beautiful girl in the world. He thought that he'd forgotten that, but it turns out he hasn't. She's absolutely still the most beautiful girl in the world, and he's not fit to look upon her like this. But he can't stop. He can't stop drinking in the sight of her thighs, her delicate fingers unbuttoning her vest, her foot lifting to kick him in the knee...
"Ow!" It doesn't actually hurt; she didn't kick hard at all. But he's dizzy from looking at her too much. "What was that for, Master?"
The expression she's making--is it a sulk? "You can't stand there and stare at me, Archer!" She shrugs off the vest and lays it down nearby. "I'm taking off my clothes, so you take off yours." She might be sulking, he's not sure, but she's definitely blushing again. "If you make me take off my clothes and you won't take off yours, I won't forgive you!"
The dizziness is receding. She's unbelievably beautiful and certainly it's troubling to suddenly remember that, but she's still Rin Tohsaka. She's still a strange and awkward girl who needs him. As she sulks and as she blushes, Archer finds his thoughts clearing a little. As much as her eyes shine, she's clearly nervous, and he realizes she said something before that's important. "Hmm. Seducing a pure maiden...I see, that's what I'm doing, so no wonder you mistook me for a vampire." Her blouse has opened at her throat without the ribbon to hold it in place, so his eyes keep being drawn there. Maybe he is a vampire after all. But for now, he makes himself focus on her face. He steels himself for what he has to say. "Are you really sure you want to give up your first time like this, Rin?"
The blush is still on her cheeks, but her mouth forms a stubborn line before she speaks. "Why are you asking? Haven't we both decided that I'm going to keep my Archer?"
"And I've decided that I'll stay at your side," he agrees. For some reason something hammers in his chest as he says that. As if he still has a heart that can do such things. Maybe she gave him one. "But if anyone could find another way to make that happen, it's you, Rin."
"Jeez!" She lets out a sudden angry huff of breath. "You're being inconvenient again...are you really going to make me say it?"
That's not the response he expected. Then again, he isn't sure just what he expected. "Say what?"
"Only this." The blush has faded away. She looks up at him with a most sincere face. "Since you're really giving yourself to me...I don't mind making you mine in every way, Archer. I don't mind at all, even if it hurts and takes something from me." She bites her lip for a moment before speaking again. "You don't mind that I'm so selfish, do you? That I want to have you for me and no one else in such a vulgar way."
It takes him a moment to realize she's looking at him, waiting for an answer. Somehow he manages to shake his head. Words aren't enough to express how little he minds Rin wanting him for herself in every way. It's a relief. It's a relief that she wants him, when every other place he sought to throw himself no longer suits him. Words aren't enough to say that, so instead he simply shakes his head and gives her a small smile.
Her cheeks go red again. "Then if you don't mind...take your clothes off!"
The words splash against him as a command. He reacts before he can think about it, and his coat and his cape and his armor and his pants all dissolve with a glint of light into the air around him.
Rin's eyes widen.
"I'm sorry, did you want me to do it with more of a flourish?" he finally manages. Now he's the one who's sulking, he's sure of it, and it's probably less attractive on him, especially now that he's naked.
She glares at him. "Stupid Archer! Now I have to race to catch up!" Her fingers fumble quickly at the cuffs and hem of her blouse as she pulls it up over her head, and before he can protest that she can go as slowly as she likes, she's standing there in stockings and underwear, setting her blouse down next to the vest.
Archer finds his voice. "It's all right, Rin. It's fine if you take your time." She keeps looking at him with worried eyes, though, and now her hands are clasped in front of her breasts, which are covered only by fine black and white lace. For a moment longer, that distracts him from saying what he needs to say, but finally he gets it out. "Do you think I'd change my mind and disappear if you gave me time to do it?"
The worry in her eyes sharpens into another glare. "Of course I don't think such things! Why, why would you..." She trails off.
It's strange, but she looks like she needs to be touched. Archer has touched her before, of course. After all, he carried her here to the bedroom, and before that, he'd carried her as they traveled through the city. But that was purely practical, all of it. Even the kiss he gave her just now, the touch of his lips to her throat, all that was at her command in a way. His hands on her shoulders, a few minutes ago: that was just steadying her, though it was a bolder gesture than he's used to. He realizes, too late, that he doesn't know how to touch someone of his own will, tenderly and with fondness, for no reason other than because they need to be touched. But he has to try, so he reaches out to stroke her hair back from her face.
The anger in her eyes fades into soft wonder, and she reaches up to fold her smaller hand across his and catch him before he can pull his hand away. "Of course I don't think such things," she repeats quietly. "You won't, right?"
Archer thinks of the way she sat at the tall Western table a few minutes ago, the weight of the night's events so heavy upon her that it was unbelievable she wasn't crushed. "Naturally I won't. Don't doubt me, Rin. I will fight for you until the end."
Her hand tightens on his. "You idiot, it's not fighting I want now."
"It doesn't sound right to say that I'll kiss you until the end," he points out.
But she glares up at him again. "I don't care if it sounds right! Do it!"
Before he can think, his free hand is on her bare waist, pulling her close. She nestles easily into his arms as he wraps them around her. Something tries to enter his awareness, something important, but he has to kiss her, so before he can be shocked by some other realization, he leans down and presses his mouth to hers again.
The sound she makes in her throat is perfect, even though he'd long since discarded any hope of things being perfect. She relaxes a little in his arms, the stress of the night starting to fade from her. That's when the realization he was resisting hits him: he's holding her. He's holding his Master, he's holding Rin Tohsaka, he's holding another human being, which is certainly impossible, but it's equally impossible for him to let go, so he continues to hold her, even when his lips part from hers again.
She rests her head against his chest. "I don't know about any other kisses," she murmurs, "but I'm certain yours are the best, Archer."
"They have to be," he reminds her, "or they wouldn't be acceptable for you."
She nods her agreement even as she leans against him. Then a frown passes over her face. "Ah!" She pulls away a little and stares down at his chest. "Archer...?" She's looking down at him with puzzled eyes. "My Servant is perfect, so how'd he get this scar?"
His throat tightens as he understands what she's looking at. The ancient wound over his heart. He can't tell her the truth, but he has to answer her, and with her still in his arms, how can he lie? "Don't all heroes have their scars?" he says, in the end. But it's not enough, so he continues, "A long time ago, I almost died, but someone brought me back. Someone saved me." His repaired heart aches at the words. Normally they're bitter ones for him to say. Someone saved me: he's wished more than anything that he'd never been saved. That he'd been consigned to death long ago before he could make all the stupid and terrible mistakes that he eventually did. He was even willing to fight to change fate so that his salvation was meaningless. But in this moment, he doesn't mind. In this moment with Rin in his arms, it's not so bad that she saved him an eternity ago.
"Did you grant them a boon?" she asks suddenly.
"What?" Her logic defies him.
"Isn't that what heroes do when someone saves them? They grant that person a boon. That's a favor. I don't know for sure, but it might be in the rules of heroes."
He thinks of a lifetime spent with that red pendant at his side, empty of magic, empty of meaning except the certain knowledge that once, someone had saved him with it, so he should keep it as a reminder of that. "I was bad at granting boons, Rin...to tell you the truth, I wasn't a very traditional hero. But I wore their favor for the rest of my life."
She flushes, standing there almost naked in his arms. "Jeez, did you really? Now I'm jealous, Archer. This is a bad time to tell me things like that!"
He can't help it. He laughs.
She's glaring at him again. "Don't laugh at me when you're holding me like this! I could easily hurt you, you know!"
"It's fine, Rin," he finally manages to say. "I promise you don't have to be jealous."
He feels her start to relax again. "If you promise, Archer...then it's probably okay." And she rests her head against his chest again.
And Archer's frozen in place. How can anyone trust a promise from him like that? But by now the answer's obvious enough: she can trust it because she is his Master, and he not just her Servant, but her knight as well. So it only takes him a second of stillness before he lifts a hand to stroke her hair. This time he doesn't just brush it back from her face; he runs his fingers through it, marveling at the fineness of the strands against his callused fingers.
"Be careful with the ribbons," she says. "I won't see them damaged."
"Naturally," he says, and he lightly, cautiously undoes one ribbon. Her breath catches as he hair spills down to her shoulder, so it's all he can do to keep his hand steady as he tugs free the other ribbon. Smoothing them both out in his hand, he turns to place them down on the table next to the bed.
When he looks back at Rin, it's his turn to catch his breath, because she's staring up at him with her head tilted back and her hair falling around her face. "What's wrong, Archer? If you messed up the ribbons--"
He presses a hand to her face and she falls silent abruptly, her eyes wide, her cheek suddenly hot against his palm. He's grateful that he can feel it. That even after a lifetime of abuse, his nerves will still send him the sensation of Rin's skin on his fingers. But all he can say is, "Maybe you should wear your hair down more often."
The blush spreading across her face is definitely visible now, though she tries to quell it. "Maybe I will," she says, "if you're at my side to see it."
"Rin--" He's feeling dizzy again, and his body seems strange to him. There's a heat in it that he'd forgotten all about. He'd forgotten it so much that it takes Rin's reaction for him to realize what's happening.
She blinks once. "Ah!" Then she smiles--a look of smug and mischievous command. "How good, Archer. I was starting to worry, but my Servant's body works properly like a man's." And before he can respond to that, she's stepped back and lowered herself into a crouch before him. "Um, but are you really going to put that in me? It doesn't look big enough."
He's grateful once more, this time that Rin's attention is focused between his legs and not on his face. Archer's certain that he's the one blushing now. "I'm not ready yet! This is just the beginning, Rin."
"Huh?" Now she does blink up at him, but she's too puzzled to comment on the blush, at least. "That's not how it works! I know, because I--because I'm an expert in matters of the heart! As soon as the man rips off the lady's clothes, he's ready to put it in! Archer, is this because you didn't rip off my clothes? I can put them back on so--"
He's distracted at first. Distracted by the image of Rin huddled in a tall chair, glasses perched on her nose, as she reads intently through a battered paperback of some trashy romance (it's clear enough what "expert in matters of the heart" means coming from her). So it takes a few seconds for him to stop her rant with a hand on her shoulder. "I hate to break it to you, Rin, but your expertise is misinformed. Men take time to, ah..." And here he falters. It's taking all his courage to be naked in front of Rin, with her staring inquisitively at his dick. There's none left over to spit out phrases like "get it up."
She frowns a little. "That must be true, since otherwise you'd be defective...and there's no way my Servant's defective. Then, I'd better--"
It happens too fast. It happens so fast he nearly loses it: she leans forward, takes hold of his cock in her hand, and licks the head. Unfamiliar sensation splashes white-hot against his consciousness. It would be meaningless, just the firing of nerves he's long since learned to ignore, if not for the pleased expression on her face as she does it. Combined with that, though, he stumbles and has to tighten his hold on her shoulder so he doesn't fall.
"Oh," she says. She strokes her fingers down his shaft once more. "It's really getting bigger in my hand...how weird. Mmm, all right." Shaking his hand off her shoulder, she lets go of him and stands back up. "Yes, it's all right if you put that in me, Archer." And she starts to pull her underpants down her legs.
"Rin?" He takes a moment to remember what he was going to ask. The shape of her bare hips is so distracting. "You're going to take off your stockings, right?"
She lays her panties down on top of her skirt and straightens back up to give him a sullen look. "Why should I do that?"
"Because..." He searches for an answer and comes up blank. Why should Rin Tohsaka remove her famed thigh-high socks? There's no reason in the world. "At least your bra, then."
She gives a shake of her head, her face now red again. "You don't need my breasts for any of this, Archer!"
Something forbidden leaps from his tongue before he can stop it. "What if I want to kiss them?"
He's astonished at himself for saying something like that, but it's worth it for the surprise on Rin's face as well. She swallows hard, and then, without another word, she reaches behind her to undo the clasp of her bra. With a few shrugs of her shoulders, she lets the whole thing fall off her arms and to the floor, not bothering to lay it out neatly like the rest of her discarded clothes.
A million ways to tell her that she's beautiful run through his head, and he discards them just as if they were clothing. Not good enough. Not good enough at all. Nothing he can think of is good enough, nothing expresses both the beauty of her body and the determination in her face, so he settles for the next best thing. He gets to his knees again, touches her face once, and then cups one breast in his hand and guides it to his open mouth.
He's still not prepared for her reaction.
A surprised sigh leaves her. "So that's why..." She blinks. "Ah, my Archer's making me feel so good."
Her breast is firm in his mouth and her nipple hard against his tongue as he gazes up at her face, but it's her delighted expression that makes him fold his hands on her back and hold her to him. She responds in kind, settling her hands at the nape of his neck and holding him against her.
And so long as she's smiling down at him like that, he can't help but feel the world start to disappear again, leaving just the two of them. What a good world that is: a world with no tears, only Rin's smiling face. He could get used to a world like that.
"Hey, Archer. When are you going to stick it in me?"
Oh. He forgot. She's still Rin.
He draws away from her and stumbles to his feet, trying to stamp out any dizziness in his head. Between his legs there's the beginning of an ache, so he wants to say right now, but he doesn't. "Whenever you're ready, Rin."
"You have to throw me down on the bed," she says promptly, "and ravish me."
"I can't do that! You'll get hurt." He's blushing again. How does she do this to him?
"No, I won't," she says. "Because my Archer is perfect, and he makes me feel good. It might hurt at first, but it'll feel good in the end. That's how it works when I have a knight like you at my side, Archer. You'll deflower me honorably, won't you?"
He stares at her.
"Archer? Stop blushing like that. That's not like the heroes in the books..."
"I told you, Rin," he says, "I'm not a hero like in the books."
"Oh," she says. "It's all right, though. Because you're my hero. I don't mind if you blush, then."
He can't hold himself back any longer when she looks at him like that. When there's that longing in her eyes to make him hers. He grabs her by the waist and lifts her up into his arms, kissing her fiercely all over her throat, her chin, her jaw and mouth and cheeks. Somehow he manages to set her down on the bed even though the little gasps she makes when he kisses her distract him to no end.
She looks up at him with her hair fanning out around her face, her chest rising and falling unsteadily. Awkwardly, she spreads her legs a little. "Well? Get to the ravishing, Ar--"
He kisses her. He kisses her insistently as her mouth opens beneath his and her hand rises to stroke his shoulders and back. He could do that forever even now, except she gave him an order and he has every intention of following it. So he leans on one arm and reaches down between her legs with the other, steeling himself not to shy away as he parts her with his fingers (and her breathing speeds up beneath him). He feels her legs spreading wider as he leans forward, and then her hand settles around his cock and guides him to her.
Archer shivers a little as he enters her. As she lets go of him below even as her hand tightens on his shoulder, he tries to hold onto his awareness of anything but her body beneath his. He moves slowly into her, lifting his hand to stroke her hair again as he pushes forward. She's really tight around him and he's afraid of seeing pain on her face, terrified of seeing tears at the corners of her eyes.
Rin bites her lip. He stops moving, stops breathing. She shakes her head a little. "I'll be mad if you stop, Archer. So keep going--ah."
The resistance inside her suddenly eases a little, but she's biting her lip harder than ever. "Sorry, Rin," he says quietly.
"You idiot, don't apologize, I told you to ravish and deflower me and all those awful words--hey, you're pulling out?"
He is. He can't stand to see that look of pain on her face any longer. Slowly, he slides himself back out of her. There's blood on his cock, blood spilling out of her, and something twists unhappily in his gut at the sight. He kneels between her legs, wordlessly apologetic.
"Hmm..." Rin sits up, frowning a little at him. "I guess I shouldn't have asked a knight to deflower a lady. You get cold feet too." She looks down. "Oh...that's my blood, isn't it? On you." She reaches out to stroke his cock again, not fazed in the slightest. "I like it, it's as if I've marked you. I bet that makes us stronger together as Master and Servant, once we finish this...that you, that you took my maidenhead. What?" She blinks at him. "Did I say something strange, Archer? I didn't. I'm certain of it. The books I read all said things that way, and if I read them, they must be correct, so don't tell me I'm wrong!" She's flustered by the time she finishes speaking. She's flustered, but she doesn't look like she's in pain at all, so he takes hold of her chin and kisses the flustered look away.
"It's all right, Rin." He parts her with his fingers again, and this time he slips one into her, then another, slowly moving them inside her while he rubs above with his thumb. He's not sure he has it in the right place, but her small gasp and the way her face colors tells him he's at least close. "Yeah, I guess I got cold feet too." She's incredibly wet around his fingers now as he slowly pulls them back out. "We can start again."
"Okay," she says, starting to lean back onto the bed. "I'm not a virgin anymore, so I suppose it's all right if you're a little more savage, but you--" She hesitates. "Please keep being gentle, Archer. I really like it that way."
He has to kiss her when she says something like that.
His cock slides into her a little more easily this time, but she's still very tight and she still bites her lip a little as he slowly pushes into her. But there are no tears in her eyes, only a blush on her cheeks as she finally takes his whole length, or near to it, into her. So he can live with that.
"It's good," she says a little unsteadily. She hesitates, then gives him a pure smile. "I knew it would be since it's you, Archer, but it's good."
He can't stop running his fingers through her hair. Being inside her while she smiles up at him isn't just good; it's perfect. But he can't bring himself to do anything but smile back at her as he thrusts into her.
She makes a little noise of pleasure at the motion and his reason utterly disappears. Rin's crying out with pleasure because of him. He's making her feel that way. He can't think, so he just buries his head in the crook of her neck as he moves against her, listening to the small sweet sounds she makes and being grateful, for the first time he can remember, that she saved him and made him hers.
After a while, he realizes that her breath is speeding up. She's making more of those little moans, and more quickly. "Rin, you're..."
"Yeah, we should, we should concentrate on the connection between us, shouldn't we?" She licks her lips a little and stares up at him. Her hair's all askew on the pillow around her. She's still beautiful. "So that this isn't for nothing."
"I wouldn't let this be for nothing," he promises her as his hand slips down her body so his fingers can find the place that made her gasp before, just above where their bodies connect.
She gasps again, and that sound alone is enough that it's definitely not for nothing. Hearing her cry out like that and feeling her body tighten around him, he doesn't know how much more of it he can take--
"Ah. Now, Archer."
He kisses her again and lets go. All the bitterness and regret vanishes for just one moment as she clasps her hands on his back and sighs into his mouth.
Inside the two of them, between them both, something reconnects.
Archer lies there for a while, her body still beneath him; he can feel her chest rise and fall against his. Only when he starts to soften inside her does he finally pull away.
But her hand on his wrist stops him from moving too far. "Hey, Archer," she murmurs, still gazing up at him. "Since you took me, that makes me yours...but you're definitely mine, and I just made you mine for certain. So which is it? I'm not sure." Her voice is a little sleepy.
"I'm your knight, Rin," he says, and the heart she fixed for him so long ago hurts in a way he didn't know that it could. "You should know the answer to that."
She smiles up at him (and in an instant, it's all worth it) and straightens up. Her hair tumbles over her shoulders, around her breasts, and he reaches out to stroke it again. But she tightens her grip on his wrist to stop him. "Wait, Archer. I have something for you."
He wants to ask her how she can still have something for him, when he's taken all of her. When she's taken all of him. But he can't speak; he can only look at her as she reaches over to the table by the bed and picks something up. She turns, then, and places it in his hand: a single black ribbon.
And then his voice does come back to him, as she slowly lets go of his wrist. "Rin?"
"Wear my favor," she says softly. "Be mine and not anyone else's. All right, Archer? Keep it with you. I'll kill you if you mess it up."
He can't tell her. He can't tell her that he was always hers, even when he didn't know it. He can only look at her, the ribbon clasped in his hand. After a moment that seems like forever, because she's gazing at him with those bright and earnest eyes all throughout it, he nods and holds the ribbon to his chest. Over the scar on his heart. "Yeah. I'll keep it, Rin. Because I'm yours."
"Then I'm not afraid," she says simply. "I'm not afraid of what I'll do in this War, or of anything. But...I'd still like you to hold me, Archer. If that's all right with you."
He leans down over her. Her breath's warm against his cheek. "That's fine with me, Rin."
There isn't anything else he can say. She'll sleep in his arms tonight, and fight at his side tomorrow. That's how it should be. For the first time he can remember, the world around him is one worth ruling. But that's because Rin is the one ruling it.
He kisses her cheek, and she sleeps in his arms.