Chapter Text
Ominis Gaunt had always known he would die young.
It was not a fear so much as a certainty — the kind that settled deep in the bones, passed down like an inheritance—or a disease. When you were a Gaunt, you were lucky to grow old unbothered, healthy and safe. They burned bright, cruel, and brief, or they were broken long before time had a chance to claim them. They were mad, too. Ominis only knew how insane they were.
The young Slytherin was doomed from the moment he was born. Not only did he enter the world unsighted — a defect in such a prestigious family — but he was also born with a heart. He wasn’t supposed to oppose their ways, to even have the slightest compassion for anyone else — let alone Muggles.
He had been too gentle for such cruel a world. And gentle things were always destined to be broken.
When the pain finally came, Ominis distantly thought that this, at least, made sense.
He was aware of his body only in fragments. The waves were crushing, bone breaking and so agonizing that it rendered him unconscious instantly. Sensation came in pieces that did not fit together: heat without fire, pressure without weight, pain without beginning or end. It moved through him in currents, slow and merciless, radiating outward from somewhere deep inside his chest and spine.
His limbs felt too heavy to belong to him.
His hands were constantly numb, and his throat was burning.
Breathing hurt.
Speaking was hard, like his tongue was made of metal.
He thought — not for the first time — so this is dying.
He knew he’d die young, but he actually thought he’d make it until he was finished at Hogwarts.
The thought drifted through his mind continuously. He had already done the screaming part. He had screamed himself raw for days, when they were casting the curse on him back at the house. He’d begged, pleaded, cried enough tears to fill a river. He was a fool, because no matter how much he tried, they wouldn’t stop. They had wanted him to fully become a Gaunt, to be part of the family once and for all. They had wanted him to take a bride—another broken soul, some deformed loveless girl to get rid of, both children taken off their family’s hands to be miserable together forever. Two birds to kill with one stone.
Instead, when Ominis yet again refused to take part not only in the godforsaken wedding plans they’d arranged for him, but also in their rituals of dark magic, they turned on him, just like they had all those years ago.
The curse had not ended when he almost suffocated from the pain.
* * *
There were voices around him now. Somehow, he knew, between unending waves of excruciating pain, that he was at Hogwarts. He could hear the familiar ghosts talking in the corridor. Poppy Sweeting had suffered a bite from some beast, or so he heard, and a Ravenclaw boy had gotten sick from some charm gone wrong.
Nurse Noreen Blainey was going back and forth in the infirmary. He thought she talked to him, but Ominis couldn't be sure. Everything was blurry and confusing.
There were also voices in his mind. Sometimes they seemed real enough that he flinched, magic stirring weakly in reflex, only to be crushed by another surge of pain. Sometimes they felt far away, warped and indistinct, like sound carried through water, and he could relax, knowing for certain they were in his head. That not one single member of his family was here with him. He was safe in Hogwarts, for however long he could remain…
His family’s voices were the clearest.
Their laughter.
Ominis could only smell stone and incense and blood. He could still feel her hands and nails on his skin, drawing blood. And then other hands, stronger, forcing him to his knees again, fingers digging into his jaw to tilt his head back. A voice — calm, almost fond — reminding him that pain was necessary, that endurance was a virtue, that weakness must be excised.
Again, someone had said. His eldest brother, perhaps. Their voices all sounded the same in his broken mind.
He needs to learn.
It was in those moments he’d dissociate from his body, from his mind, and he’d find solace in old memories. Memories of a time he thought was difficult and hard but was wholly different. Peaceful. Easier. Happy, even. Yes, happy.
He’d think about him, too. About her. About that new student in 5th year who’d become a close, trusted friend, surprising Ominis the most. He hadn’t allowed himself to think about that year, because it had hurt too much, but now that pain was a whole different matter to him, now that it had reached levels he never thought possible for a human to experience, it didn’t hurt as much to think about that time. Fifth year at Hogwarts had been eventful, sure, and painful in a lot of ways, but it had been the last time Ominis had felt… safe. And whole. And happy. It had become a comfort, if only he didn’t think about the catacombs.
Voices drifted in again, different this time. Concerned. Muted. There was no laughter in them, no ritual cadence, no anticipation of suffering. A hand touched his wrist, careful and delicate, and he nearly sobbed at the gentleness of it. He knew before he heard his name that it was his friend from Gryffindor.
How he longed for his touch, though. The sound of his voice. The smell of his hair, the feeling of him at his side.
“Ominis?”
The sound slipped past him before he could hold onto it. Consciousness frayed at the edges again, tugged him under by pain and memory and exhaustion. As darkness claimed him once more, one final thought clung stubbornly to the surface of his mind:
I was supposed to die there.
* * *
I don’t know if my owl will ever find you. I don’t know in what godforsaken hole you’ve been hiding in for the past two years.
I’m reaching out to you to inform that something has happened to Ominis. He was taken by a family member and spent near a month at Gaunt House before he was returned. He has been in bed ever since, and the healers here in Hogwarts are worried about his state. We have never been exactly friends, you and I, but I know how important you are to him, and if he were to ever come about, I’m sure he would ask for you. And if not, it would be because of some pride you Slytherins are known for. I know that he needs you by his side.
Please, if you receive this letter, come back to the castle at once.
Garreth Weasley,
March 3, 1893
Sebastian Sallow returned to Hogwarts in the middle of the night.
The castle loomed the same way it always had — ancient stone, flickering torches, staircases shifting softly as if nothing in the world had ever changed. It felt obscene. Like the place was mocking him with its familiarity.
He barely remembered walking through the gates.
His heart was beating out of his chest. He was so worried, so scared, it almost felt like running out of these catacombs all over again. Blood boiling. Breathing laboured. It felt like… like that day when his sister last drew breath. He wasn’t too late, this time, was he? What was he going to do if he was? No. No, not him. It couldn’t be him. Sebastian would never be okay ever again if he followed Anne without him. As hard and devastating as it had been losing his other half, his twin, losing him would push Sebastian into an endless pit of utter desperation and he–
Someone was standing there at the entrance to the hospital wing. A figure who stepped in his way when Sebastian stormed inside, the movement sharp, guarded. A hand flew to his chest and almost pushed him.
“Hey, easy. Breathe, Sallow.”
Sebastian didn’t even look at him, he let his eyes wander further behind, to where the beds were all aligned, exactly like in his memory.
“Sallow.”
There were a few students lying there. He thought he recognized a girl from Gryffindor sleeping near the entrance. A boy from Hufflepuff was sitting up on his bed on the other side, speaking softly to a friend who visited. He also spotted Nurse Blainey in the back. She was walking slowly, holding a lit candle, guarding the place like she always did.
Only then, did Sebastian looked at the boy in front of him. Why wasn’t he seeing Ominis anywhere?
He frowned when he recognized Garreth Weasley.
Of course it was Garreth Weasley. He was the one who had sent that owl to Sebastian.
“Weasley.”
His voice sounded wrong to his own ears, raw, breathless. He had been running after all. All those stairs. He felt like someone had cast Incendio in his mouth, the flames licking all the way down his throat.
Garreth Weasley had a blank expression. Not that wicked smile and those relaxed, amused traits Sebastian remembered him for. He looked tired. Older. Taller, too. His usual energy was leashed, coiled tight around something brittle and furious.
“You came,” Garreth chuckled unamusingly. “You devil. You actually came.”
Sebastian almost flinched with that word. Was that what the students thought of him now? Did everyone know? No. They didn’t, or else he’d be in Azkaban by now…
The hospital wing smelled of potions and clean linen, sharp enough to sting. Every step felt too loud. Sebastian couldn’t take it anymore. “Weasley. Is… Is he—”
Garreth shook his head once. “He’s over here. Come.”
Sebastian exhaled through his nose. Without further ado, the Gryffindor boy took Sebastian’s elbow and guided him inside the infirmary. Eyes followed them, and Sebastian thought he imagined a few whispers on his passage. He looked away from Nurse Blainey, but he was sure she saw and recognized him. How many times was he in here in his time? He had been the kind of student who always got scratches and burns from spells gone wrong.
Garreth took him right to the last bed in the back, hidden behind curtains, and then Sebastian thought he was going to need a bed as well. He felt sick as he laid eyes on the Slytherin descendant.
There was Ominis.
He was taller than the last time he saw him. But, at the same time, he seemed smaller too. Fragile looking. Too still. Too pale. Bandages wrapped his wrists, and he had visible bruises around his delicate throat. The rise and fall of his chest was the only thing that told Sebastian he was still breathing.
His lost his eyes on the shape of his body, the way Ominis was curled on the bed, almost hugging himself. There was a grayish tint to his skin, his familiar blond hair a bit tousled and sweaty and dirty looking. As he came closer, Sebastian noticed his friend was shaking a bit even in unconsciousness, as if his body was having spasms.
“They used the Cruciatus on him. For a long time.”
Weasley’s voice was soft and low. Something inside Sebastian finally cracked at hearing those long-dreaded words. When he got Garreth’s owl, he thought about what could’ve happened to Ominis and this was what he hadn’t allowed himself to assume. But of fucking course. Why else would these awful people need Ominis for, if not reminding him of how unloved and disgusting he was to them?
Sebastian sank into the chair beside the bed and reached out — stopped himself at the last second — then let his hand hover uselessly in the air.
Cruciatus.
He knew that spell. One of the Unforgivables. He had cast it once, in the Scriptorium, on Maitreyi Sharma, a Slytherin student who’d been their friend in 5th year. The girl had been brave to face it without fear, but she hadn’t known what she was in for. Ominis had. Ominis had known exactly what the dark arts left behind—and Sebastian knew now. He knew the aftermath, the scars it left on someone’s body and soul.
Sebastian’s hands curled into fists at his sides, anger and regret and guilt fighting it out in his insides like it was a war battlefield. He forced himself to breathe slowly. “Did he wake yet?”
“Not properly,” Garreth said after a pause. “He drifts in and out. He has a hard time to speak. Sometimes he… flinches. The healers don’t know what the after-effects will be in the long term. They’ve never seen it used so much on the same person. Not repeatedly.”
Sebastian’s eyes stopped roaming and settled on Ominis’s angel face. He didn’t look peaceful at all. He was frowning and shifting slowly here and there, flinching, like Garreth had said. He didn’t even know if the boy was still standing behind him. Didn’t even care to wonder how on earth did Garreth Weasley and Ominis Gaunt of all people somehow became close, at least enough for Garreth to be here so late to watch over him. Enough for him to send an owl to drag Sebastian back to Hogwarts.
He needs you by his side.
Sebastian didn’t care about anything else in the world right now. He looked at Ominis with a blurry vision. His heart was bleeding, his stomach was in a knot. Hot tears fell down his face, as he felt like the sky was falling on his head. He had only himself to blame. If he’d been at Hogwarts, like he was supposed to, Ominis would’ve been safe. They wouldn’t have come crashing in the castle to steal Ominis away, he would have fought them. He would have hurt them.
But he had left. He wasn’t here, so his evil family were free to take him, to break him, like they’d wanted to for so long.
“Sallow.”
“Not now, Weasley.”
He was crying. Like a child. Garreth walked around and looked at Ominis before he watched Sebastian carefully. “It’s late. I was walking back to my common room when I heard you running up the stairs. You should…”
“I’m not moving,” Sebastian whispered, breathless. “I’m not… You can go, but I… I’m staying.”
He wiped his cheek and dared a look towards the Gryffindor. There was no pity in his face, just… sadness. Sebastian swallowed.
“The nurse will probably want to talk to you. And the teachers. What are you going to do?”
Sebastian shook his head. “I don’t care.”
“You’ve been gone for two years, skipped all of 6th year and the better part of 7th. Do you really think…”
“I don’t care, Garreth. They can talk to me all they want. They can expel me. Right now, I don’t care.”
Garreth studied him for another long moment, then gave a short, tired sigh. “He gets bad at night,” he added. “Thought you should know. The pain flares.”
Sebastian’s chest tightened.
And then, without another word, Garreth stepped away. Gave Sebastian the space he needed.
The hospital wing settled into its nocturnal hush.
Candles burned low, enchanted to dim themselves. All the way back here, he was out of Nurse Blainey’s way, but she was sure to come here at some point in the night, if only to check on Ominis.
The air smelled faintly of chamomile and potion residue. He sat by Ominis’s side and watched him breathe, heart pulsing with worry. He’s alive. But in what state would he be in for the rest of his life? What consequences would the Cruciatus spell have on him in the future? Would he ever wake up? Would he be in pain forever?
Ominis was so right to scold him every waking moment in 5th year when he was meddling with the dark arts. Sebastian had been stupid and reckless. He hadn’t meant to torture anyone, of course, but he didn’t know the extent of what dark magic could do. It had already almost ruined his entire life, with what had happened in the catacombs, but now…
Now, it was worse than ever. Crucio was an “Unforgivable for a reason”, or so Ominis would say, if he could.
Every so often, Ominis’s brow would crease, his fingers twitching against the sheets as if grasping for something that wasn’t there. A tremor ran through him — subtle, but unmistakable — and Sebastian’s hands curled helplessly in his lap.
“I’m here,” he murmured, so softly it barely stirred the air. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Ominis didn’t move.
Minutes passed. Maybe hours. Sebastian lost track. If Nurse Blainey noticed him—she must have — she had decided to leave him be.
At some point, Ominis’s head rolled slightly to the side, lips parting on a sound that barely qualified as a word. A breath hitched. His shoulders drew inward, curling protectively, like he was trying to make himself smaller, to disappear even, and this thought crushed Sebastian harder.
“No,” he moaned in a low voice.
Sebastian was on his feet instantly.
He hovered for a second — the same hesitation as before — then carefully took Ominis’s hand and kneeled on the floor to be leveled with him. The fingers were cold between his, trembling faintly underneath his touch.
“It’s alright,” Sebastian said, voice breaking despite his best effort to keep it steady. He had to remain solid for him. “You’re safe here in Hogwarts. They won’t ever touch you again, I promise.”
Ominis’s fingers tightened reflexively around his, nails digging just enough to hurt. Sebastian thought he was going to wake up and react to him, to his presence. Part of him wasn’t sure he was ready for that. All they had to talk about, after everything, his absence, the catacombs, his uncle… It was a conversation he would delay if he could, but he’d take that over Ominis being unresponsive and all but fading away. He wished he could face Ominis’s wrath, see his frown, his face scrunched in displeasure.
More tears ran down his face. Thoughts were swirling around in his mind. Anne would be so sad to see Ominis like this. How far they’d all fallen. How did they go from three young happy Hogwarts students to… this. Anne dead. Ominis broken, maybe beyond repair, and Sebastian feeling hollow and empty inside. A shell without a soul. Maybe the Dementor’s kiss would’ve been sweeter than this.
“I should’ve been here,” he whispered, leaning closer, forehead nearly resting against the mattress. “I should’ve never left you alone.”
The words spilled out in fragments. He told Ominis about the places he’d hidden in, the nights he hadn’t slept, the way guilt had followed him like a shadow no matter how far he ran. He told him how empty the world had felt without Anne, and how much worse it had been without him. Ominis stirred, a sharp inhale ripping through his chest, and Sebastian froze.
But the tension ebbed again. The grip loosened. Ominis sank back into uneasy rest, still breathing, still here.
Sebastian remained on his knees.
When exhaustion finally won, he sat back into the chair, still holding Ominis’s hand, and let his head fall forward until his forehead brushed the edge of the bed.
“If you wake up,” he murmured. “I’ll be right here.”
And for the first time in two years, Sebastian stayed.
“Sallow.”
It was at the break of dawn that Sebastian was jostled awake by a soft voice. For a second, he thought it was Ominis. His heart hoped, but he quickly realized Ominis was as still as last night. He turned and saw a figure standing there in the dim light. It wasn’t Garreth Weasley, this time.
Black robe with silver and green.
Imelda Reyes.
His fellow Slytherin stood there. She looked just the same, except older.
He didn’t say a thing, frozen there, awaiting the speech, the questions, the shame that would come with answering them. But Imelda only put her eyes on Ominis briefly before she concentrated back on Sebastian. There was no judgment in her face, as far as Sebastian could read her. He never could figure this girl out anyway.
“The headmaster wants you in his office without delay.”
* * *
Hours blend into days, and then into weeks. Sebastian found himself roaming the castle halls again, and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t at least a bit comforting to be back at Hogwarts. But the Slytherin common room wasn’t the same without Ominis. Even if he was back to being, sort of, a student, Sebastian didn’t feel completely home nor completely himself.
He preferred to be alone most of the time. He had a lot of classes to catch up to. Black hadn’t been exactly generous, and that speech he gave him in his office that first night could’ve made a dark wizard’s ears bleed. Sebastian’s “punishment” for not attending school like he was supposed to was to have more classes, more homework, special assignments to make him level up to the other students of his year, and even some chores around the castle ground to help the teachers and the caretaker. The headmaster said that if he did all that, and if he did it well and without complaining, he might have a chance to graduate with the rest of the 7th years with good recommendations for a career at the Ministry.
So Sebastian found himself tending to the beasts, washing the potions classroom even though it could all be cleaned away by magic, and even helping the elves in the kitchen.
But he didn’t really mind. Having something to do during the day kept the worry from eating him alive. He studied hard. Didn’t reintegrate the quidditch team, and nobody even batted an eye, not even Imelda. He ignored Leander Prewett’s idiotic comments in the halls, whereas in the past, he would have jumped at the chance to challenge the arrogant Gryffindor.
Most people left him in his corner, unsure of how to approach him anyway. There were whispers and rumors going around, sometimes he’d hear the things people would say about him and even about Ominis when they thought he wasn’t listening. About what had happened between them. Sebastian did wonder at some point where was Maitreyi Sharma. Nobody spoke of her.
But he couldn’t bring himself to care much, even though he kind of missed her.
All he wanted was to get through the day and return to Ominis’s bedside.
He was making progress. Kind of. Nurse Blainey and some other healers from St-Mungo’s who came to visit had been doing tests on him. At first, they’d believed Ominis would never speak again. But a week later, Ominis had mumbled a bit in his sleep, words sloppy but still clear enough to understand.
Then, they’d worried about the pain waves, but those seemed to have soothed a bit too. Ominis didn’t flinch as much anymore, wasn’t moaning all the time, and lately, his sleep had been much more peaceful. His face was brighter too, his skin a bit more colorful. Sebastian was hopeful, even though he tried not to set himself up for disappointment. He knew how bad the fall had been with Anne, after he’d been certain he’d be able to cure her.
“You’re tough, Gaunt,” he whispered one day. “You can go through this. You’re the only one who can.”
Another night, he thought he felt Ominis curl his fingers around his. That small motion had made his heart soar. Keep fighting it, Omi.
“You didn’t get into too much trouble, I see.”
Sebastian lifted his head. He was kneeling in the Greenhouse, tending to some plants for Professor Garlick.
Garreth was walking towards him. “I thought Professor Black wouldn’t admit you back.”
Sebastian wiped his hands on his trousers and got up. “Well. I am mostly working as a slave, but… that’s all right, I suppose. Deserved it.”
The Gryffindor watched him curiously.
“So what are you going to do?”
“I have to do this for Professor Garlick, then I’ll…”
“Oh, no, I mean. After Hogwarts.”
Sebastian frowned. He hadn’t been expecting that question. Where have you been? Why haven’t you come back? What happened in 5th year with Ominis? Those were the questions he thought he’d get.
But after Hogwarts?
Did he ever stop to think about such a day?
He fidgeted with the instrument in his hands and let his eyes wander around the place. A group of first years Hufflepuff were hanging out over there. On the other side, Duncan Hobhouse was whining about some scary beast or something. How annoying.
He redirected his gaze to Garreth.
“Don’t know. What about you?”
“Well, probably an office job at the Ministry. At least, that’s what my father wants for me. But I’d like to be a potion master some day. Maybe teach here at Hogwarts later.”
Thinking of the future was anxiety-inducing. The future for him was the end of each day when he would get to Ominis. The future also felt like some imaginary place. A scary place. Everything he ever loved and held dear was in the past.
“Nice. I’m sure it’ll turn out the way you want to,” he said without much enthusiasm.
“I’d see you as an Auror, Sallow. You’re one of the best duelists of our generation.”
He laughed softly and thought to himself: that would be an interesting plot twist.
“You could work alongside Gaunt.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, he did mention one time that he wished he could make a difference in the wizarding world about the dark arts. You could fight the dark wizards together. I think he’s also interested in research for unsighted wizards, and he has that strange fascination for Muggles, too, so who knows what he’ll really do. You know what Poppy Sweeting said the other day? That Ominis would also make a great healer or Magizoologist.”
When Garreth laughed, Sebastian recognized the Weasley’s familiar careless demeanour. It was almost comforting, but also quite unsettling how much he came to know Ominis, almost intimately.
“Amit and I think she’s got a bit of a crush on Gaunt and she’s taking her dreams for reality. Sweet Poppy,” he added fondly, making Sebastian think somehow that he had a crush on Poppy.
He laughed again and walked away with a friendly pat on Sebastian’s shoulders, leaving the Slytherin boy to wonder about a future career.
Being an Auror was the natural choice for him, a career that had been planned. His uncle had been an Auror. And he did have a talent in duel and in DADA class. Was that what he wanted, though? What would Ominis do? Poppy wasn’t so far-fetched when she imagined Ominis a healer. He was a kind-hearted person full of empathy, and him studying magical beasts wasn’t out of character either. But he wasn’t sure about an Auror career. Ominis had had his fair share of dark arts encounter for a lifetime. And anyway, Sebastian had always imagined a quiet, peaceful life for his friend. He had always imagined Ominis in a cozy cottage somewhere in the highlands, enjoying life, enjoying the small things in every ordinary day, away from his maniac of a family, just… existing.
Maybe he would make a great Magizoologist, too.
A smile grazed over Sebastian’s lips, and he went back to his work.
It was a wild fantasy, but…
He imagined himself in that cottage with Ominis. Doing whatever. Just the two of them, reminiscing the easy days in Feldcroft when they were kids, before Anne was sick, before everything changed, back when Ominis would stay over the summers with them.
And maybe Sebastian would try hard everyday to make Ominis laugh. To chase that ever lingering sadness about him. To make their life good.
It almost felt like… salvation.
* * *
The world felt clearer now.
He didn’t open his eyes yet, didn’t need to, but he could hear the sounds of the day around him. Voices echoing from the stairs, footsteps near and far. Fabric shifting. Breathing that was not his own. Some conversations. He smelled the sheets and potions, some flowers too. Lilacs.
He turned slowly and reached around for his wand but couldn’t find it, so he only settled comfortably – well, only as comfortable as he could manage on this squeaking, cold thing. Maybe he was dreaming again. There was no pain in his body now, only the vague memory of pain. His legs were a bit sore though. His arms numb. But everything felt… better.
For a moment he wasn’t sure where he was, but then he heard that annoying voice that belonged to that rat Hobhouse, and he knew he was at Hogwarts. He wanted to open his eyes only so he could roll them. What was that weasel doing here? Had the poor baby hurt himself? Ominis entertained the idea that he’d been ferociously attacked by a Puffskein.
Someone came close to him, and he instinctively recoiled on the bed, but then a warm voice said:
“Oh, are you awake, dear?”
It was Nurse Blainey.
He tried to speak, but his voice was raw and hoarse. It only came out in a soft cough. He tried again and managed such a small sound that instead he just nodded his head. His opened his eyes, too, so the woman would know for sure he was awake.
“Oh, good. Are you still hurting?”
He shook his head.
“My… wand,” he tried.
“Of course! Now, where have I put it?”
He heard the nurse search around for a moment. She even walked further away, but then after a short moment, she came back. A wand, his wand, was put in his waiting fingers. Ominis clutched it immediately, feeling a bit better now that he was holding his wand.
“Would you like something to eat? Tea?”
He shook his head again. He wasn’t hungry. Maybe a bit thirsty. He was too disoriented to do anything but stay there, taking it all in. He was also dreading the moment the pain would come back, assaulting his body like a lightning strike.
“Alright, lad. Try and get some rest. I will be right here if you need anything.”
“Nurse Blainey!” someone suddenly shouted.
“Whatever is the matter?” Blainey cried out. “No need to shout in the hospital, children!”
“There was an accident at the game!”
And then, there was a commotion. Students rushed forward, others kept shouting. Footsteps came rushing in. Teachers and students. Ominis thought he heard one of them explain how a 6th year student from Ravenclaw fell from his broom at the quidditch match outside.
Feeling disinterested, Ominis turned on his side and closed his eyes, trying to block some of the sounds. He felt tired and drained, and a familiar ache was starting to spread in his legs, and the pain rose up to his torso and arms and head, like a wave. It wasn’t as intense as before, but it still rendered him completely exhausted.
He didn’t know what it felt like to fall from one’s broom. He never flew anyway. But he was sure it wasn’t that painful.
* * *
The next time he woke, everything was calmer. There were no sounds, no talking, no voices — except for Peeves who were blabbering annoyingly in the corridor at a distance. It was so calm Ominis could hear him all the way up here.
It was night, or so he suspected. It felt like his brain was in a dense fog, but maybe this time it was because he’d slept so long. And without any dreams or nightmares. He’d woke up with a faint scent… A familiar, comforting scent.
The pain was back, everywhere, mostly in his chest and arms. He curled on the bed, trying to breathe through his mouth. It wasn’t as painful as before, but it was still too much.
As he shifted slightly on the bed, his leg brushed against something. Against someone.
Ominis froze instantly. He stayed still for so long, and after a few seconds, he heard it.
Someone was breathing softly. He also noticed the weight on the mattress at his side.
Weasley?
No. Somehow, he knew the Gryffindor boy wasn’t here. He felt it.
Why wasn’t this person speaking? Didn’t they notice Ominis was awake?
Maybe they were asleep. Ominis reached for his wand, but he stopped, hesitating. His hand was hovering in the air for an instant, but then he decided to just go for it, and he reached just an inch further.
That was when he touched him.
And when he did, he knew. Just with a slight brush of his fingers on the boy’s forearm. Ominis knew.
The world seemed to go completely still. He barely felt the pain anymore. Tears rose up in his eyes. His heart picked up the pace.
He swallowed hard, and curled his fingers lower, finding another set of fingers. Warm, moist. Fingers he recognized, and as felt for them, he also found a head full of hair. Curly, thick hair. Ominis understood the scent he’d woken to. It was his. The smell of his hair.
“S-Seb…?”
Ominis couldn’t hold back any longer. He tugged at the wrist hard—at least has hard as his weak state could allow.
The reaction was immediate.
The chair scraped back too fast. He heard Sebastian catch his breath sharply. Ominis grabbed his hand tighter — afraid Sebastian was going to disappear, afraid he hadn’t been real.
Then his voice. His warm voice came.
“Ominis!”
“Is… is that… really you?” he was nearly hyperventilating now.
His words were said like a prayer. Like relief so intense it borders on grief.
“Of course it’s really me,” Sebastian said, voice rough. “Are you hurt? Do you need anything? I— Merlin, I didn’t want to— I mean, I didn’t know if—”
“Stop,” Ominis sobbed.
It cost him more effort than he expected. Sebastian went silent instantly.
Ominis turned his head slightly toward the sound of him. His eyes, useless as ever, ached faintly in their sockets, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t need to see Sebastian to know he was there. He could feel him. Always had.
His fingers clutched Sebastian’s so hard it must have hurt. He brought his forearm to his chest and felt like a baby when tears overcame him so suddenly.
“You left…” he croaked.
The words weren’t an accusation. They were simply a fact.
There was a hand on his cheek now. The touch almost made him flinch, but Ominis would lie if he said he hadn’t longed for this touch. Sebastian’s palm was so warm and solid and familiar. He closed his eyes and tried to fight the storm, but the tears kept coming, the sobs kept shaking his core.
“You’re… you’re so stupid, Sallow…” he cried.
“I know,” Sebastian murmured, his hand going up to his hair and stroking him softly. “I know I am. I’m so sorry, Ominis…”
He held on to Sebastian’s arm, while Sebastian’s other hand was plunged into Ominis’s blond hair. For a moment, they stayed still, Sebastian listening to him crying. He didn’t even know why he was weeping. Had he believed his friend to be dead? Well, it had felt like it. All these months. Almost two years, Ominis went without news of his whereabouts. Sebastian very well could’ve been.
But he also felt so relieved to have him here now, after he’d been through hell. Sebastian was a balm. He was a haven, a place Ominis could run to and be safe. He had needed him so much.
“And I’m sorry,” he said.
“What could you possibly be sorry for?” Sebastian asked, lips close to his forehead.
“About Anne… Oh, Sebastian…”
He felt Sebastian swallowed more than he heard him. He kept silent. Ominis clutched his hand over his heart tighter.
“You were all alone.”
“It was my fault,” Sebastian said. “I decided to isolate myself.”
“Well, you’re an idiot.”
Sebastian let out a soft chuckle. “Never the one to sugarcoat it, Gaunt. I like it that way.”
Then, Sebastian made a broken sound — halfway between a sob and a breath — and before Ominis could say anything else, he carefully, reverently, pressed his lips on his forehead. Sebastian was crying too. Ominis could feel the wetness on his cheeks and the smell of salt on his skin.
“I should have been here,” Sebastian whispered. “I should have protected you. I swear to you, I will never let them touch you again. They’ll have to go through me, and I will use the Unforgivables on them, and I will do so without regret.”
“Please, don’t…”
Silence stretched between them, heavy and fragile.
“Don’t become like them.”
“You’re unbelievable, Ominis.”
Ominis shifted his hand, fingers tightening weakly around Sebastian’s. The boy shifted so he could be half sitting on the bed beside his friend.
“You’re not like them, you never were,” Ominis went on.
“You’re talking nonsense.”
Maybe he was.
“Is… is Nurse Blainey around?” he asked in a soft, low voice.
He heard Sebastian move slightly, like he was turning his head to look around the room.
“Can’t see her.”
“Then, stay…?”
Sebastian didn’t say a word for a long while. He went so still and unmoving that Ominis had to tighten his fingers around his to make sure he was still there.
“Of course. I’m here, aren’t I? I’ll stay, Ominis. For as long as you need.”
“What am I going to do?” he softly said after a long silence.
Sebastian wasn’t asleep. He was breathing softly near his ear.
“Hush. I’ve got you.”
“I can never go back, Sebastian…”
* * *
The days that followed seemed brighter. Spring was here and it was colorful. The remnants of winter were gone. No more icy mornings, or gray skies and dirty snow everywhere. The grass was green and flowers were growing.
Sebastian did his chores with much more motivation, spending more time outside, breathing the fresh air. He studied, did his homework and the assignments the teachers gave him without complain.
Sometimes, on the rarest occasion, he caught himself thinking about the future. Maybe Weasley had influenced him, but he had also heard a 7th year couple in the library talk about renting a place together in London after graduation. It had sparkled something inside Sebastian, for he found himself in Hogsmeade the very next day, researching about places he could possibly live in. London was world’s away from his meager means, but Sirona gave him precious advice and tips. She even said he could rent a room at the Three Broomsticks if he ever needed to.
He’d have to work, though. He could maybe find a job at the Ministry, if his grades were good, and if the teachers were generous in their recommendations. He didn’t think he had many chances with Headmaster Black. The man despised him. But Sebastian had skipped all of 6th year and half of 7th, after all, so he knew he was at a disadvantage to other students. He’d be lucky if he even graduated at all.
Nevertheless, he needed to land on his feet after Hogwarts. For the last two years, he had lived in pubs, exchanging hard days of labor for a room at night. He had also stayed in Feldcroft for a while, using the disillusionment charm so neighbors wouldn’t recognize him. It had been ridiculous to hide in his own home, but… he hadn’t felt safe. And his uncle house didn’t feel like home much anymore, anyway.
He had wanted to disappear. Felt like he didn’t deserve to keep breathing when his sister wasn’t…
But now that he was here, that he was a student again, he wouldn’t be able to live under bridges or in rotten holes in a far away barn under a disillusionment charm. He needed to find honest work, and there was also Ominis he had to think about. I can never go back. Sebastian couldn’t stop thinking about the words he had muttered the other night…
Ominis was right. He couldn’t go back to his family house. How could he ever? It was always a certainty that when they’d finish Hogwarts, Ominis would walk away, as far from them as he possibly could. But now, the threat lingered, closer than ever. They had been able to snatch him and bruise him, mark him, like a target. Sebastian had heard stories about pure-blood families growing up, how one could never escape them. If you weren’t in their family house at Hogwarts, you were a traitor to them. If you married a half-blood, you were a traitor, and if you befriended muggles or muggle-born, you were even worse than a traitor. You were an enemy, and they had to rip you from their family tree and did whatever they had to do to make you disappear for good.
So no, Ominis wasn’t safe as long as he was within their reach. He couldn’t go back. It also meant he had nowhere to go after Hogwarts.
Which was why Sebastian was searching for a place. For them both.
* * *
“However did you and Weasley became friends?”
Ominis lifted his head up as Sebastian asked the question. His friend was handing him a cup of lukewarm tea that Nurse Blainey had prepared, and Ominis took a sip before he gave an answer.
“He’s not as annoying as I thought.”
Ominis looked so much better now, Sebastian thought. For one, he could sit upright. He wasn’t hurting so much that he had to stay down. He was still weak, but he was getting stronger day by day. His cheeks were blushing, which was cute to see. Sebastian loved that color on him. He also loved to see those mesmerizing eyes again, and hear his voice, his amusing sarcastic tone, that Sebastian always found so soothing—and funny. A healthy Ominis had always been so funny, even if he didn’t try to be.
It was so good to see him getting better. The only thing he had yet to see was a smile, but Sebastian made it his mission to get there.
“I was behind in potions, in 6th year. Professor Sharp put me in Garreth’s care, and he helped me save my year. He started to walk with me between classes and then dragging me around. It was nice. A welcomed distraction after… Everything.”
Sebastian nodded but then hummed softly when he recalled Ominis couldn’t see him nod. He still felt bad, and uneasy, to know how Garreth had been there for Ominis when he hadn’t. Guilt was burning in his throat, shame clutching at his heart.
But in a way, he was glad. Ominis hadn’t been completely alone.
“He told me about his gigantic family and how close they all are to each other. I was fascinated.”
“Yeah, the Weasleys are certainly an extravagant lot.”
“It sounds nice, though. They sound nice.”
Sebastian looked as Ominis let his unseeing gaze wander in the distance. Again, with this lingering sadness that tugged at his heart. Smile, Ominis. What could he ever do or say to make him smile?
He put the cups aside and sat next to him.
“Say, Ominis… What about Maitreyi? Where is she?”
That did it: a small smile graced Ominis’s lips. A sad, longing smile, but still one.
“Oh, she still writes sometimes. A few weeks into the summer after 5th year, a relative of her sent a letter, calling her back to India. She left shortly after.”
“I didn’t know she had siblings.”
“Neither did I. I was sad that she left, but it seems she’s thriving in her new school. She made plenty of friends and she’s developing her special talent.”
“Good for her,” Sebastian said genuinely.
They sat in silence. Sebastian felt his hands shaking with anticipation. He wanted to ask the questions that had weighed him down all this time. He wanted to address the subject that was sitting between them like a giant rock, but he was afraid. He didn’t want to drag Ominis back to this cursed year, this cursed time, when everything fell to pieces. He looked peaceful today. Sad, weak, but peaceful, with that lovely shade of pink to his cheeks. He didn’t want to ruin the slow, easy day there were having.
Then Ominis asked about the quidditch season, to what Sebastian was forced to admit Gryffindor was way ahead of any other houses. They small talked for a little while longer, speaking about the upcoming N.E.W.T.s they had to prepare to. Ominis a lot to catch up on after having been bedridden for weeks, and graduation was fast approaching. Sebastian promised he’d help him, though he knew Ominis was smart and talented, and he’d nail all of the exams. Ominis probably would have to help him.
Later in the evening, Nurse Blainey came over and gave Ominis a potion that would help him sleep.
“I miss you in the common room,” Sebastian blurted as twilight was settling over the castle. He hadn’t seen the hours tick by.
“I miss the common room, too. This bed is not helping me with the pain.”
Blainey was still roaming nearby. She came closer when she heard Ominis.
“Well, Mr. Gaunt, I think you might be ready to go back to your dorm if you think you’d be more comfortable there.”
Ominis eagerly turned to her and Sebastian tried to hide his smirk.
“Yes, Merlin, please. May I go tonight?”
“Are you hurting? Dizzy? Nauseous?”
“Just a bit… sore. But the potion you gave me is helping quite a lot.”
“Alright,” she said at last. “I’ll allow it. If you would be so kind to help your friend, Mr. Sallow?”
“Of course.” Sebastian said immediately.
“Then it is settled. But do not hesitate to come back and see me if anything is wrong, Mr. Gaunt.”
“Yes, thank you.”
When the nurse walked away, Ominis was already half out of the bed. Sebastian rushed to his side.
“Easy there. Let me help.”
Ominis put his feet on the floor and wavered slightly when he stood too fast, but Sebastian wrapped a strong arm around his waist instantly.
“I can’t wait to leave this place. I have never been so bored.”
Sebastian laughed softly. “Yeah, but try not to break something in the process, or else you’ll be back just as quickly as you escaped.”
He lost the smirk when Ominis made a low hissing sound. Sebastian’s arm around him tightened. “Are you okay?”
“Shh,” Ominis quieted him. “Don’t let Blainey hear.”
Sebastian understood then. Ominis was in pain. Throwing a glance to the nurse, Sebastian saw that she was next to another student at the other end of the room.
“She’s not close enough to hear. Tell me, Ominis. How much does it hurt?”
They walked through the castle for a while before Ominis said anything. He’d picked his wand before leaving the nursery, but he found it easier to just hold on to Sebastian’s arm for now. He did feel dizzy. He was a bit cold too, nights in the castle still felt chilly despite the warmer weather.
“Some… pain waves keep coming,” he finally confessed, gripping tight to Sebastian’s elbow when one of those waves came crashing through his midsection. It felt like electricity, starting in one place, and then stretching through his limbs. He’d suspected for a long time that the starting point of these waves of pain was the exact location he’d been hit with the Cruciatus.
It was excruciating, but he’d endure it all the way to the common room if it meant he could go sleep there and stay with Sebastian all night.
They went pass prefects, further down the path to the Slytherin corridors, who asked about their whereabouts. Sebastian smoothly explained the situation, and they were quickly back on their way.
“How bad is it?” Sebastian asked in a low voice.
“Manageable.”
“Ominis.”
“It’s true. Don’t worry.”
They reached the Slytherin common room and after Sebastian whispered the password, they went in. Ominis immediately melted into the familiar smell and comforting feeling of the place, although he couldn’t hear anything.
“Are we alone?”
Sebastian looked around. “It would seem like it.”
“How late is it?”
“I think it’s around 7pm. Oh, right, there was a game tonight. Slytherin vs Gryffindor. The whole school must be out.”
“A peaceful moment of quiet, then,” Ominis sighed. “All the better.”
Sebastian walked Ominis to their dorm rooms that they still shared and helped him find some more comfortable clothes to wear. Ominis changed ever so slowly, which indicated to Sebastian that he still felt pain in his body. Sebastian didn’t mean to pry but somehow couldn’t take his eyes off Ominis’s body when he took off his shirt. In the small light, he could see the smooth shape of his chest, shoulders and slim waist. Ominis was very handsome, he’d always known that, but now… Despite the scars that made Sebastian’s heart ached, he could almost count all of the moles here and there. He spotted one in particular, situated in the small of his back, near the line of his trousers and down his…
Sebastian blushed a deep shade as Ominis was bending down to take off his pants. He put on a softer pyjama bottom and Sebastian stared like a dazed idiot, telling himself he was spying on his friend only to make sure he wasn’t about to fall, but even he couldn’t convince himself.
Ominis was magnificent. His whole body was stunning. From his broad shoulders, pale thin arms and elongated legs, firm round buttocks and small narrow hips. Sebastian was still staring, heart hammering in his chest, unable to move like he’d just been struck by lightning.
When he was done, Ominis went to his bed and settled in with another sigh. Sebastian emerged from his daze and went to his own bed which was facing Ominis’s.
For a moment, they were silent. Sebastian couldn’t believe it. A couple of weeks ago, he’d come home to Hogwarts in the middle of the night, worried to his bones, certain that he’d come too late, that he’d arrive only to see his friend dead. To burry him like he’d buried his sister.
And now, he was here, a student again. Ominis was right there by his side. He was so beautiful and alive. He was here. In flesh and bones.
It was almost like… nothing had ever changed between them. Like nothing bad had ever happened.
But then Ominis let out a small sound again, clutching at his chest, his body going rigid. He bent slightly, curling on his side. Sebastian, who’d been sitting at the end of his bed, looking intently at his friend, felt startled.
“How bad is it, really?” he asked again. “And don’t tell me manageable.”
“I’ve been through far worse, Sebastian…”
“Yeah, I know. Maybe you shouldn’t have left the nursery so soon…”
“No.”
Ominis came up quickly, sitting upright and looked in Sebastian’s direction, even though his eyes weren’t quite high enough to meet his.
“Sebastian, honestly, I’m good. I prefer to be here. It’s better. I’ll get those pain waves wherever I am.”
“Do they know if you’ll have them for…”
“Forever? They don’t.”
It was like Anne, all over again. Sebastian clenched his fists hard. Fear and desperation came over him, but he didn’t want to think about it. About where Ominis would be in a few years. If he’d always be hurt. If those pain waves would render him useless and weak and unable to walk, or talk, or do anything.
If they’d eventually kill him, like with Anne.
“Sebastian.”
He looked up, vision blurry. He hadn’t realized he had tears in his eyes, and some of them were running down his cheeks. He must have made a sound, too, because Ominis noticed he was crying.
Then, something unexpected happened. Ominis lifted from his bed and walked to Sebastian’s. He reached out to touch the bedsheets and hoisted himself on top of it. He made a soft whimper but quickly settled himself.
“Where are you, Seb?” he asked, reaching out again.
Sebastian was watching in disarray, heart pulsing, blood boiling. He took Ominis’s hand and let his friend pull him to the pillows. They both settled next to each other. Ominis put his head so close to Sebastian’s face that the young man felt his breathing stop. What was even happening?
There was a lot he couldn’t keep up with lately. Was he really here now? Lying next to Ominis on his bed? It felt… weird, no?
No. No, it didn’t. They had slept next to each other countless times in the past. They’d shared a bed in Feldcroft, they shared space on the floor, too. They’d always been very touchy with each other. Sebastian was probably the only person in the world who could touch Ominis. Why was it different, now? Why did Sebastian feel like his heart was beating so fast?
“Breathe, Sallow.”
Ominis’s soft voice rose above the chaos in his mind and soul. He realized he hadn’t been breathing, so he did. He pushed a sigh out of his mouth and inhaled. Then he swallowed hard.
“I’m not going to disappear like Anne,” Ominis murmured.
He slipped a hand on Sebastian’s arm again.
“What if you did? We don’t know what the Cruciatus does in the long term.”
“I’d be dead already if it was supposed to kill me. They only wanted to punish me.”
“I’ve been so afraid, Ominis. So afraid. When I received Weasley’s owl, I…”
Ominis didn’t say anything in a long time. Sebastian wiped at his face. His throat was burning. His head ached. Heart beating out of control. He had never felt so vulnerable. Had never let himself be vulnerable in front of anyone. All his life, he’d kept that façade, that mask. He’d kept it on his face when his parents die. When his sister was cursed. When his uncle was being hard on him. He’d never let himself feel the sorrow and pain and grief he new was poisoning him.
Here, he was safe to let it all out. Ominis was holding him. Ominis was alive and safe, and he was holding him.
“Then why didn’t you come back?”
It wasn’t an accusation or a criticism. Ominis wasn’t trying to fight with him. He was just asking. He was vulnerable, too. He sounded sad and confused and lost. He deserved to know the truth. Sebastian had left for two years. Two years.
Sebastian let his hand wander all the way up to where Ominis’s fingers were tightened around his biceps. The touch sent shivers down his spine, and butterflies in his stomach. Ominis didn’t flinch. He stayed there, warm under him, until he moved his head a bit, so his cheek was on Sebastian’s shoulder.
“I… I thought it was better if I stayed away, Ominis. Let… let me explain.”
He breathed softly. Ominis kept silent, so Sebastian went on.
“The disgust on my uncle’s face, I could deal with. The disappointment or even the fear on Anne’s face was hard to live with, but I was willing to, for her. The disgust and shame I felt for myself, it was… easier to evade. I just didn’t look at my reflection anymore. I know I even disappointed Maitreyi. She didn’t look at me the same, after… after what happened in the catacombs even though she said she understood. But if I ever had to come home and face you…”
Sebastian’s voice was trembling. His whole body was shaking. His words didn’t seem to make sense. He shut his eyes closed and thought for a moment.
“I couldn’t face the thought of you… thinking differently of me. Being sickened by me. I know your opinion about the dark arts… you even warned me so many times. I felt like… I’d lost you forever. It was better if I left. Being near you knowing you’d loathe me would’ve been too hard. I know. You can say it. I’m a coward and a loser and a…”
He stopped when Ominis pressed hard on his fingers. He turned but Ominis didn’t say anything just yet, so he laid there, thoughts in disarray, heart scattering to pieces. Tears kept running on his cheeks, burning the skin like his tears were acid.
“I don’t loathe you, Sebastian,” he said at last. “You assumed I did.”
“You warned me about the dark arts, you said so many times, that if I…”
“I feared you’d go down that path.”
“…Why did you never report me?”
Ominis’s voice was low when he confessed. “If you deserved Azkaban, so did I.”
“Don’t be dense, Ominis,” Sebastian argued vehemently. “What you and I did is world’s apart…”
Ominis was clearly disagreeing.
“Maitreyi told me how it happened that day, after I left to try to reach the headmaster before Anne. She said Solomon stormed in and confronted you, cornered you like you like a criminal and honestly, Sebastian, I think if someone is to blame, it’s him. He… failed you.”
Sebastian turned again and put wide eyes on Ominis, unbelievably.
“I can never say I approve… because I don’t. But your uncle had a responsibility to you, Sebastian. He was meant to protect you. I know he cared for Anne and I’m sure he wanted nothing but to shield her and make her comfortable, but what about you?”
Sebastian let out a sob he couldn’t keep in. What about him? He felt like no one had ever stop and ask that question, maybe since his parents died. Who had cared about him? He didn’t know if he had a right to still be angry at his uncle even after what he did to him, but maybe Ominis was right, after all. Solomon had been the adult, he had been supposed to protect him too.
“I’m sorry, too. I didn’t see the pain you were in when Anne got sick. I confronted you as an enemy as well, for all of 5th year I kept scolding you when I should’ve been a better friend, when all you needed was for me to understand. Now that Anne is gone, I know how desperate you were, and you walked through it all on your own. I was only afraid to lose you to the dark arts, I thought only of myself, of my pain when you’d be gone and I’d be alone. I was selfish...”
Something broke inside Sebastian when he heard Ominis softly cried that word. His voice had break and was trembling now, like he was holding off his tears.
He lifted on his elbows to look at his friend’s pale face. His blond hair was always neatly combed back, but now it was a bit tousled and longer too. Sebastian wanted to slide his fingers through the soft strands. He wanted to put his hair behind his ears but it wasn’t long enough yet.
“Stop, Ominis. No. Never, I… You were never selfish, what are you even talking about…?”
Ominis’s hand reached for Sebastian’s collar. The latter’s heart almost stopped, but he waited. His friend’s fingers only slightly held on to his clothes, and then he stretched each finger and simply put them on Sebastian’s chest, testing, touching, like he wanted to feel the vibrations of his heart under his skin and bones.
Sebastian wanted time to stop. He wanted to lay there, with Ominis beneath him. He wanted to look at his perfect face and relish in the feeling that he was alive and safe, and he was in his arms—or almost. This was something he wanted, though. To feel his body in the circle of his arms, but was he even allowed to want that? Ominis was his friend… his dearest friend…
He lost himself in thoughts as he admired, in the dim darkness, Ominis’s soft looking lips, the straight nose and those lashes that graced the skin of his high cheekbones when he closed his eyes. And those eyes… Sebastian was mad for them. The clear blue haze, gentle storms he could sink and drown into safely. He’d always thought that even blind, Ominis could see right through him.
“But it is selfish to want something entirely to ourselves.”
Sebastian blinked. When Ominis’s words reached his foggy brain, he blushed again.
For a moment, he didn’t know how to react, how to answer. Ominis was still delicately mapping the shape of his torso, though Sebastian was sure he already knew the expanse of.
“You’re broader,” he said after a while.
Sebastian swallowed, brain still not functioning properly. Ominis’s hand was on his shoulders now.
“And… bigger?”
“I…” he tried, but his voice came out hoarse. “Yeah, I guess I… am.”
He hadn’t stop to look at himself in a mirror lately. He knew he was taller than before, though he didn’t know how that happened since he hadn’t been eating very well in his two years of exile. But since he was back at Hogwarts, he’d been eating to his heart’s content. His muscles felt bigger and his shoulders were broader. He was almost as bulky as Garreth and almost as tall as Ominis.
But Ominis wasn’t near as big as him or Garreth. His body was all lean and slender.
And he was infinitely more beautiful than anyone Sebastian had ever laid eyes on. Even Maitreyi, the most beautiful girl he’d seen in his life wasn’t near as perfect as Ominis Gaunt. And his feelings for him…
Sebastian’s meandering thoughts were cut short when he felt Ominis’s delicate fingers touch his chin. His breath stopped, and Ominis immediately retracted.
“Is it okay?” he demanded in a soft whisper. “Your face is… a bit far in my memory… and I need to…”
“Yeah,” Sebastian said, heart suddenly filled with a thousand emotions. “Please.”
Ominis shifted a little on the bed but remained on his back. Sebastian stayed still, suspended on top of Ominis. He didn’t move as the young man slid a careful hand on his jaw. The tips of his fingers slowly and meticulously mapped the contour of his face, studying his features and the texture of his skin.
It had been years since Ominis had done this. The first time was back in their first year, when his friend had been curious about how he looked, and aside from the times when Ominis would put a hand on his face in their friendly banters, he’d never touched him there again. Now they were older, and it felt entirely different. It felt heart stopping. Sebastian held his breath, surrendering himself to the feeling of Ominis’s fingers on his cheeks, the tip of his nose. Ominis lingered on his eyelids and then, before Sebastian had the time to absorb it all, Ominis was touching his lips.
He was feeling the shape of his mouth with a trembling finger. Sebastian felt his whole face becoming scorching hot. He violently restrained himself from kissing his fingers and enveloping them in his mouth or even slipping a tongue out.
Then Ominis cupped his face, raising a second hand so both of them were on either side of his face.
It felt like Ominis was holding all of Sebastian in the palm of his hands.
“You need a shave, Sebastian,” he then said softly, with a touch of amusement in his voice.
Sebastian nervously laughed. “Do I, now?”
Then, the most beautiful thing happened. Sebastian saw a smirk light up Ominis’s face. There it was.
Ominis’s smile. And before he could splutter a word or say anything, the blond wiped Sebastian’s tears with his thumbs in a tender gesture that made Sebastian melt again. Ominis then reached for Sebastian’s shoulders with both his hands and pulled the other boy down on him. Sebastian couldn’t say anything as he was tugged into Ominis’s arms, his face plunging into the crook of his neck.
Ominis held him tight. No words. No explanation. They didn’t need it. They were just together.
Sebastian felt his throat burn again, and when the surprise was gone, he slipped his arm around Ominis’s waist and held tight to him. He held on to him for his life, like Ominis was his saving grace, his salvation, his everything. He was probably soaking Ominis’s shirt again but didn’t care, because he could feel Ominis’s tears too. The young man’s chest was stirred by tremors and quiet sobs. Sebastian pressed his body to him, both boys comforting each other with their presence. He was probably crushing Ominis with his weight, but he knew this was probably what Ominis needed―wanted.
“I’m here, Ominis…”
He heard Ominis breathing in and out, like he was trying to overcome his cries. Sebastian moved slightly to the side so his friend could breathe. He laid next to him, and Ominis immediately put his head on Sebastian’s chest.
“It’s you and me, now,” he added, his voice deep and gentle, and he felt Ominis’s head give a nod under his chin.
“You and me, Sallow.”
“Against the world, Gaunt.”